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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #113(R) post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 6:55 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Dec 26, 2010 7:02 pm (#2394 of 2842) [Edited Dec 27, 2010 12 pm] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #113(R), Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: A Revision of "A Family Gathering"

The following comments are about a revision done for Five Words story #113, "A Family Gathering". This revision was written from December 11, 2010 to December 20, 2010. This is the 4th Five Words story to be revised. Five writers (Verity Weasley, Julia H. Potteraholic, mona amon, and Phoenixfeather), participated in this revision, and 290 words were added to the original story's length of 1,200 words. Two of the five writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Dec 26, 2010 8:51 pm: I think our revision worked out the problems folks had about the original story quite well. There were times when I wasn't really sure what to post, since I had no idea what Ted or Andromeda would be thinking. Also, I didn't have much of a problem with the original story, so knowing which section to revise next, once a section was completed, was a bit tricky to figure out.

- Verity Weasley, Dec 27, 2010 11:55 am: I think the previous story was much improved by the revisions. Sometimes you can recognise that a story needs improvement without necessarily knowing how to go about improving it. However, here with all of us working together, a vague idea turns into concrete revisions, and I think the resulting story is much better as a result. That rather clumsy 'Paris' section was dealt with fairly succinctly, and then referring to it again later in the story cemented it as a relevant detail rather than a peculiar anomaly. Adding depth to the reactions of Tonks' parents to the news was tricky, but it turned out well, and makes it a much more believable story. All in all, a job well done!






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:03 am; edited 2 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #114(R)

Post  Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 6:59 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Apr 9, 2011 4:07 pm (#2837 of 2840) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Potty Five Words: A Continuation of "Dear Sisters"


NOTE: These letters pick up where the first set left off. Nothing from those first letters has been revised. These letters jump ahead a few years as they go along, starting with Year 1, skipping to Year 4, then ending at Year 7.


Year 1

14th September 1970

Lily,

I can't believe you'd have a slimy toad for a pet! What kind of person gives such a nasty creature as a toad to a friend? And as for your school, do they really allow such pets? I'm sure they carry horrible germs and diseases. It would be better if you got rid of it immediately. Any decent friend would've gotten you something sensible, like a budgie. Or, better yet, a plant. That way, you wouldn't have to clean up after it and it wouldn't matter if it died, even.

Mum has been keeping busy with her flower arranging classes and hasn't been missing you at all. And Dad and I have been working on my science project, 'Cleaning Machines Through The Ages.' It's been so fascinating! I'm researching hoovers now. Did you know that the first hoover was made with silk? I can't wait to hand it in. I expect it'll be the best one, and I'll get top marks. Dad said that he'll take Mum and me out to have Sunday lunch at that nice café on the High Street next weekend when it's finished. Right, I better get back to my research. I just found a book about washing machines and I can't wait to read it.

You were very rude to me in your previous letter. You should work on your manners.

Love,

Petunia




16th September 1970

Petunia,

Work on my manners, indeed! How about yours, Petunia? You called my friends 'freaks'. That's not very polite, is it? You should mind your own manners first! Don't give me any advice you're not prepared to follow yourself. That's being a hypocrite. You know what that is, right? A hypocrite? So, before you go around telling other people what to do, try thinking about your own words and actions first!

Lily




30th September 1970

Dear Lily,

I'm sorry you misunderstood what I was trying to say in my last letter. I wasn't being a hypocrite, silly. I was just trying to protect you. Now that you're at that school, all on your own, you might not realize those sorts of problems. I was just trying to be a good older sister. Okay?

Anyway, at school last week, a stupid model of a working windmill won first place instead of my cleaning machines project. It's not fair. It made me so upset that I only cleaned my lunchbox once, not twice, like I normally do. I couldn't eat more than a bite of my lunch, knowing that.

Next week, Gran and Granddad are coming to stay. They'll be here for a week. We're going to go and see all the sights in London. I can't wait to see everything. It's too bad that you can't come too, but I'll tell you all about it in my next letter.

Love,

Petunia




2nd October 1970

Dear Petunia,

I hope you have a nice time with Gran and Granddad in London. I'd like to read about what you get up to when you go sightseeing.

Guess what? I'm learning how to fly in Madam Hooch's class. I managed to stay on all the time, even though the broomstick is so skinny. I found out something about broomsticks you might find interesting. It seems that the inventor of the hoover used a broomstick in his design. I read about it in a book.

Here, boys are crazy about brooms, and talk about them all the time. They boast about who's got the best, the fastest, and the newest broom, but sometimes I think it is nothing but a waste of time. There are quicker and safer ways of getting around, and more interesting things to do with your free time. For example, the game of gobstones is fun, but you probably wouldn't like it. If you lose a point, a nasty liquid squirts out at you! I've just found out that Severus's mum was captain of the gobstones team of her House. Imagine that!

Now Tuney Fish, see? Isn't this much nicer? Just sharing our news, and not giving each other unnecessary advice? Let's try that.

Love,

Lily




Year 4

7th September 1973

Petunia,

I hope you had a good time in Cornwall. I didn't. I wish I had never agreed to stay with your friends for our holiday. You said that we wouldn't go shopping more than once or twice, but we went every single day! Twice on Saturday! And you hardly bought anything! I wanted to visit Tintagel Castle and tell my friends that I visited the home of King Arthur. But, thanks to you and your friends, I never had the chance. It was a wasted opportunity.

Now I know better than to let you talk me into things. You're just selfish. I thought this holiday would be fun and make us closer again. I feel like you can't be bothered either way. We used to be best of friends before. Now, we're almost like strangers. Next time, don't bother asking me to join you and your friends for anything.

Ever.

Lily




14th September 1973

Dear Lily,

I don't know why I bothered to invite you to Cornwall. I should have known you'd be all moody and awkward. I just wanted to show you that life is much more fun without your freaky friends and stupid magic tricks, but you really didn't make an effort to get to know my friends or to try and show an interest in the things we wanted to do. And you embarrassed me every time you said, "Merlin's pants". What sort of an expression is that? A weird one, that's what! You were sounding like such a ninny going on about that Tingle Castle and King Arthur. He's just a myth. Everyone knows that he wasn't real. And Morgan le Fey never did anything special, I reckon.

So, it would've been a stupid waste of time to go see that pile of ruins when there are shops to visit and lovely things to look at. Window shopping can be fun, and costs nothing. Just because we didn't always buy something doesn't mean that it wasn't fun or worthwhile to visit the shops.

Anyway, it's no use trying to make me feel bad just because you don't know how to have a nice, normal outing with nice, normal friends. You've spent too much time living among freaks in that freak school of yours and I'm sorry I can't do anything to help you if you won't meet me halfway.

Petunia

P.S. For the Christmas holidays you can just stay where you are! That way, everyone will be happy! I hope you enjoy your freaky Christmas!




30th September 1973

Petunia,

"Love, Petunia?" It didn't seem like you actually felt any, so why bother writing it? You're just pretending to care, when all your words are vicious and mean. For your information, all the people your age around here are much more mature than you, and a lot more normal as well. Don't you think it's silly to call people names when you don't really know them at all?

Anyway, we'd better try to put this behind us and move on, or we might as well stop writing to each other. Besides I'll be coming home for Christmas anyway. You'll just have to accept it. And I'll ask Mum and Dad if I can bring a friend over for the holidays. Mary will write a research paper for Muggle Studies and it would be a great opportunity for her to observe our customs. Her topic is
"Television and Telephones: How Muggles Use Telecommunication Appliances and Media". I'm sure you could teach her with all the time you spend watching telly. Not to mention those endless telephone conversations you have with all your friends. I've told Mary all I know, but she wants the chance to see Muggles in real life.

She is so excited about meeting you, so please be kind to her. It's going to be great fun! I hope Mary's parents will agree to let her stay the entire holiday with us. She's never seen the inside of a Muggle family's house before. She'll sleep in my room, so you don't have to worry about sharing yours. It'll be such fun. I can't wait!

Love,

Lily




9th October 1973

Dear Lily,

Are you serious? You mean to have one of your freaky friends from that freaky school of yours actually come and stay in our house? It's bad enough that that awful boy from Spinner's End hangs around with you every summer and Christmas break, but now you want to bring an embarrassing abnormality into our home! Do you think you and your friends are the sorts of people who can safely mingle with normal people like me, and my friends? What if this Mary tries to turn one of us into a bat or something? Have you thought about that? I hope Mum and Dad don't agree to it. It's my holiday, too, and I can't think of anything worse than having our house being set upon by strange mutants from the planet Zog.

As for being used as some kind of guinea pig for a school project? No thank you! Your friend can just find someone else to experiment on.

Petunia




Year 7

17th January 1977

Dear Petunia,

I hope you enjoyed your dinner with your friend Vernon. Mum told me it was coming up and that you were very excited about it. Did you serve one of those delicious cakes with whipped cream and sugared violets on top? You must have got a lot of compliments if you did. I remember how much Mary loved your cooking, when she spent the Christmas holidays with us!

What did you wear? Did you buy a new dress for the occasion? You must have looked nice! Was Vernon impressed?

I was glad to hear that Dad's going to join the choir after all. He's got such a fine bass voice. I wish I could be there for his first concert. Mum said he's been practicing hard, even giving up watching cricket on Sunday afternoons. I can hardly believe it. What do you think? Will he keep up with it? I wish Mum had more time for her flower arranging, but she's working longer hours these days, isn't she?

We have a careers advice meeting coming up soon to help us decide what we want to do after leaving Hogwarts. I'm not sure yet, but I think I would like a potions-related job or maybe something in law enforcement. As I told you during the holidays, there is an atmosphere of uneasiness amongst the Wizarding community. I would really like to do something to help fight oppression.

Write back soon and tell me about your special dinner.

Love,

Lily




23rd January 1977

Dear Lily,

The dinner with Vernon was a big success! I was wearing a new dress that I bought with my Christmas money. Vernon couldn't take his eyes off my pudding. You were right... I did serve a delicious cake, but it wasn't the one with the sugared violets. I do have other desserts in my repertoire, thank you very much. I'm not as predictable and boring as you are.

Wanting to fight oppression? What sort of a career choice is that for a young lady? It's not! How do you ever hope to get a nice, normal husband with such ridiculous notions. You would be much better off getting a job as an office assistant or something normal like that, and then you're sure to find a more suitable husband. I'm going to ask Vernon to invite his friend Quentin around when you come home for the Easter holidays. You'll like him. He likes to go fishing and he's training to be a manager at Grunnings, where Vernon works as well. He'll be looking forward to meeting my sister, and I hope you won't embarrass me again!

Petunia




14th April 1977

Petunia,

I know you were disappointed but I had warned you not to try and play matchmaker. I told you I wouldn't trade James for anyone. He's turned out to be everything I could ever want in a boyfriend.

Vernon seems a nice, steady sort of person and I'm pleased you're happy. But please tell him that I'm definitely not interested in attending the Grunnings annual company picnic with Whatever-His-Name-Was! And please don't ask me again!

Must dash! James and I are working on our Potions homework. It's not his strongest subject!

Love,

Lily




24th April 1977

Lily,

I can't believe how silly you're being, turning down this wonderful opportunity! I think you like being abnormal! I'm doing what I can to try and help you to minimize the damage your education will have on your life. If you're not even going to give being normal a try, I don't think I'll bother spending much time with you in future. I can't let a loony sister ruin my chances with Vernon and having a normal life. Don't bother writing to me again until you come to your senses!

Good luck, Silly.

Petunia






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:11 pm; edited 5 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #114(R) stats

Post  Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:04 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Apr 9, 2011 4:07 pm (#2838 of 2840) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Statistics for A Continuation of Story 114(R)

Total Words in 1st set of letters: 860
Total Words in 2nd set of letters : approx. 2200

Based on a few post-story comments about the original version of "Dear Sisters" — the consensus was that the first set of letters was fun to write — when it was time to choose another story to revise, I thought we should follow-up on Verity’s idea: "... it would be easy to pick it up and continue the series of letters at another time." (Oct 9, 2009 2:22 am). This revision/continuation of an already finished story is the 5th one Five Worders have written.

This revision/continuation was started on Dec 26, 2010 at 8:51 pm, and ended on Apr 9, 2011 7:21 am. It took approx. 440 posts and 2200 words.






 * Five Words – Volume 12 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #114(R) post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:06 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Apr 9, 2011 4:08 pm (#2839 of 2846) [Edited Apr 11, 2011 10 pm] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Post-Story Comments for Story #114(R), Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: A Continuation of "Dear Sisters"

The following comments are about a revision/continuation done for Five Words story #114, "Dear Sisters". This revision was written from December 26, 2010 to April 9, 2011. This is the 5th Five Words story to be revised/continued. Five writers (Betelgeuse Black, Julia H., mona amon, Potteraholic, and Verity Weasley), participated in this revision, and approx. 2200 words were added to the original story's length of 860 words. Four of the five writers posted feedback, as well as one non-participant.

- Potteraholic, Apr 11, 2011 11:00 pm: Okay, Five Worders! The last Five Words story on this Harry Potter Lexicon FanFiction Forum here on World Crossing is posted. 

(I still can't believe it.) 

So, let's not go out with a whimper, okay folks? Please post your comments about this last story, and any other Five Words things you'd like to say. I'll start! 



Re: the story, given the very limited information we've been given by JKR about the particulars of the Evans sisters' lives as Muggles and the development of their relationship as Lily advanced through Hogwarts, I think we did quite a good job of imagining how their lives might have been. It was tricky at times coming up with the details of their Muggle lives, but I enjoyed the challenge of figuring out what some plausible plot details could be. 

How 'bout you, folks? 



And re: Five Wording... I love it! As sad as I am to leave here, and all the 1,000s of actual Five Words story posts behind — bolded five word story entries filled with greetings, questions, interesting suggestions for story ideas, etc., our new home will soon be filled with more of the same. Hopefully, more folks will join in, past Five Worders will return, and those who have just started playing this creative writing game will continue for more stories to come. 

Your turn!



- Puck, Apr 11, 2011 11:56 pm: Oh, I should have come sooner! I used to be such a frequent poster here. I would check this thread the moment I turned on the computer. I remember posting parties with multi car train wrecks! 

I love the letters. Very fun to read. You all did a great job! 

I can't believe this place is closing. Thanks to PAH and all those who have kept this alive!



- mona amon, Apr 12, 2011 3:33 am: I think the letters are a great success! This is a great way to say farewell to the FFF. 

I don't know if we learnt more about Lily and Petunia's characters and personalities, but I love the way so many interesting details were woven in to the story - the girls' grandparents, their parents' hobbies, the connection between Hoovers and broomsticks, Tintagel Castle, Merlin's pants, etc. And I'm so glad 'the awful boy' managed to find his way in! 

This line made me LOL - 

"I was wearing a new dress that I bought with my Christmas money. Vernon couldn't take his eyes off my pudding." 

Looking forward to posting on the new forum! 



- Verity Weasley, Apr 12, 2011 6:32 am: Mona, that line did sound funny when you read it back like that! 

I think we did a good job with the letters, communicating the growing tension between the sisters, culminating with Petunia's rather callous ultimatum. We could see how patient Lily was, trying so hard to still be a good sister, even while they were drifting further and further apart. We certainly had our more light-hearted moments in these series of letters, but it is quite sad to think how the relationship ended up. 



As for Five Words in general, I don't think it's a secret that I love it! I have more to say, but I have to get ready and go to work. Rest assured, I'll be back!

Julia H., Apr 12, 2011 6:50 pm: Thanks for saving the stories! 

I'm glad I have participated (albeit irregularly) in Five Words. It's a great game, and I'd like to continue it in the new forum. 

The letters were a lot of fun to write - I think we had the necessary amount of information about the Evans sisters and large enough gaps to fill them with our imagination. 

Since PAH said "We're always on the lookout for new story ideas" - I'll throw caution to the wind and list a few story ideas that I have secretly had:


- There must have been a story or two about the Founders of Hogwarts, but I'd love another one - a magical story set in Anglo-Saxon England! 


- Slughorn says he has used Felix Felicis twice in his life but he does not mention what for- it just makes me curious...


- It would be interesting to write young Hagrid's story from the breaking of his wand to the moment he became gamekeeper of Hogwarts.


- Some chapters from Bathilda's A History of Magic perhaps? 


- What happened in the Zoo after the Vanishing Glass incident? Did the Ministry of Magic investigate? How about Muggles? 

I must stop now but I may be back later ... 


- Verity Weasley,Apr 13, 2011 6:32 am (#2846 of 2846) You have some great ideas there, Julia. The story we wrote about the founders and the creation of the Sorting Hat was one of my favourites, so it could be fun to write another. And I love your idea about Slughorn and the Felix Felicis. 

This is what I love about Five Words. There are just so many stories to tell! One person on their own could never come up with so many ideas, but jointly we have created so many stories to expand the HP universe. And the stories we have created are all so different, including things like the school reports and the Daily Prophet. I have thoroughly enjoyed being a part of them all, and hope to continue for a long time yet!






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 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:05 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII Index

Post  Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:17 pm

This page contains a list with links to all the stories written in Volume XIII.

Five Words Stories - Volume XIII

• Click on Story #126 (15 August 2010) for "Professor Longbottom and the Puzzling Plant"

• Click on Story #127 (21 August 2010) for "Professor Longbottom and the Puzzling Plant, Part II"

• Click on Story #128 (24 September 2010) for "The Daily Prophet, 10th March 2008"

• Click on Story #129 (9 October 2010) for "The Clean Half-Dozen: Saving Daniel Radcliffe"

• Click on Story #130 (6 November 2010) for "Bill and Fleur's Wedding: The Deleted Scenes", Five Year Anniversary Special!

• Click on Story #131 (12 December 2010) for "Harry's First Birthday"

• Click on Story #132 (1 January 2011) for "The Chronicles of Crookshanks"

• Click on Story #133 (16 February 2011) for "Professor Snape Reports"






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 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:05 am; edited 3 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #126

Post  Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:50 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Aug 13, 2010 12:01 pm (#404 of 2792) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.




Potty Five Words: "Professor Longbottom and the Puzzling Plant"


"Professor Longbottom, would you please come out here for a minute? I'd like to know about this plant with whiskers growing on its stalk," asked Albus Potter. He moved aside as Neville reached out and very carefully touched the tip of a leaf. The whiskers began to extend toward the sunlit windows of the greenhouse.

Neville scrutinized the leaf's surface. "Albus, where did you find this?"

"Right here, Professor." Albus pointed to a rather neglected patch, just outside the greenhouse door, which was really sunny on this balmy September morning.

"Curious," remarked Neville. "I've never seen this plant before last week, and now it's forming buds and is nearly two feet tall! I wonder how it grows so fast?"

"And what are the whiskers? Oh! What an awful odor!" Albus backed off hastily, wrinkling his nose and waving his hands as if to wave away the smell.

Suspiciously, Neville sniffed the plant. "An excellent defense mechanism, aye Albus?" smiled Neville, as he approached the plant cautiously. "I wonder who planted it here?"

"Perhaps it came up by itself, Professor?" said another curious voice behind them. Scorpius Malfoy slipped quietly up alongside Albus to have a closer look at the smelly, whiskered plant. The two boys exchanged a glance of mutual affability, while Neville turned back to the greenhouse. "I'm going to look this up, although I doubt I'll find anything in the usual texts."

Albus and Scorpius eyed each other before turning back towards the plant.

"What d'you think it is, Scorpius?" whispered Albus.

"Well, my grandad has something like it in his garden."

"Really?" Albus exclaimed. "That's wicked!"

Professor Longbottom glanced at him as he returned from his office, carrying an ancient tome with a cracked leather cover. "You say your grandfather has a similar plant in his garden? Did he ever talk to you about it, Scorpius?"

Young Scorpius wrinkled his brow and hesitated, "I remember him telling me not to touch it. He said it was a rare and precious plant, and shouldn't be handled carelessly."

"Tell me," encouraged Neville, "is there more than one plant like this in the garden or just that single specimen?"

"Oh, there are just a few," Scorpius replied.

Neville frowned. He had an instinctive distrust of anything connected with Lucius Malfoy. It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Why does a wizard like Lucius have a plant like this in his home garden? Neville mused to himself. He's not the gardening type…

Professor," said Scorpius, "what's the matter? You look worried. Is anything wrong?"

"Wrong? No, I'm just concerned that this plant might be getting a bit too much exposure to the elements. Perhaps I could pay your grandfather a visit and get his advice on its care."

"That would be great! My grandad rarely has visitors and he loves showing off his garden! Watch out for the peacocks. One of them bit me in the ankle when I got too close."

"Thanks for the warning," said Neville, grinning at Scorpius. "Perhaps you'd like to accompany me? We could have a stroll there together and learn about the plants. I'm sure I could arrange for us to Floo over ...perhaps this weekend, if it's okay with your grandparents. How's your grandmother, by the way?"

"She's fine, Professor. I'm sure she'd love to show off her new house-elf's cooking skills," grinned Scorpius.

"I'll Floo-call this evening and ask her if it's okay. Do you think your parents would give you permission to leave school for a few hours?" asked Neville.

"I'll send them an owl after class," responded Scorpius excitedly. "I'm sure they'll agree! They might even join us."

Later, in the Slytherin common room, Scorpius was busy working on his horoscope that Professor Trelawney had assigned when he suddenly remembered that he hadn't invited Albus or any other friends to come along. He quickly scratched out another note, this one to Albus Potter, folded it, and summoned a house-elf to deliver it to the Gryffindor common room.

"Hey, Rose!" called Albus excitedly, "Scorpius just invited me to go with him and Professor Longbottom to visit his grandparents and investigate that strange plant and see their garden! He said I could invite a friend. Do you want to come along, too? We can look at the white peacocks and the other interesting things they have on their estate!"

"I'd love to come," declared Rose, "but I'll have to ask Mum and Dad. I hope they say yes." She paused. "They didn't get along in their school years... but that was years ago!" She hurried off to the owlery to send the request to her parents.

The following weekend, Neville and the three children met in his office, ready for their adventure. The green flames flared up in the fireplace as he tossed in the Floo powder. Scorpius went first and announced their arrival. He was soon followed by the others.

"Good morning, Professor," Lucius began graciously. "Good morning, Miss Weasley, Mr. Potter." He turned to an elderly house-elf and dispatched him to the kitchen for refreshments before embracing Scorpius in a brief one-armed hug, looking genuinely pleased to see his grandson. "Shall we go have a look at the garden? It is right this way."

They followed the elder Malfoy through a handsome passageway, and then out into a large garden, enclosed by a tall wrought iron fence. White peacocks roamed the lush garden, harmonizing beautifully with the exotic statues of ancient Egypt and fragrant and luxurious blooms and greenery. Neville stared. It was the most breathtaking garden he'd ever seen. Rare and valuable plants grew in profusion. Wherever his eye fell, there was some specimen he'd seen only in books, except for a whiskered plant, which looked almost like the one growing in front of Greenhouse Three.

Lucius gestured toward the plant and asked, "Is this the one you're interested in? You mentioned something about a similar plant at Hogwarts. That's very... curious," Lucius drawled, frowning. "I thought we possessed the only stock found in Britain. Are you sure Professor?"

Neville moved in for the acid test, a good way to ascertain the plant's pedigree. He gently rubbed his finger on a leaf. "Professor, I'm not sure that's wise. It's best to wear gloves when handling these particular—"

An overpowering stench was suddenly wafted towards Neville. The perpetrating plant was definitely the same as the specimen at Hogwarts: malodorous and whiskered! Neville backed away hurriedly, wiping his hand on his robe.

Scorpius, Albus, and Rose wrinkled their noses in disgust, turning their faces away as Neville's robe began to smoke, emitting a sulphuric stench.

Neville, his eyes watering, turned to Lucius and asked, "What's the best method for neutralizing the breakdown of fabric without this substance making contact with one's skin?"

Lucius raised his eyebrows and said, "It's quite difficult, actually. That's why I avoid touching this plant with anything but my dragon hide gloves."

Neville performed a vanishing charm, but the smell lingered unpleasantly in the air.

"Let's go inside for some refreshments," Lucius suggested, leading the way into Malfoy Manor.

"Hello, Grandmama," said Scorpius, pulling Rose and Albus out from behind him.

As both children shyly greeted Narcissa Malfoy, Lucius drew Neville aside. "Could we have a quick word, Professor?" he asked, with some urgency. Neville nodded and Lucius signaled to Narcissa to lead the children into the breakfast parlor, where an array of their favorite treats awaited them.

"This Noisome Vibrissa has been studied extensively by the wizards in America," Lucius explained. "It's one of the few exotics that can withstand our cold, damp weather."

"I wondered about that, considering where it's growing. How'd it get there in the first place?"

"Well, that is a mystery because you need to have a special license to transport it into England. That's what I did. It's difficult to secure those from the Ministry... it took me a year."

"This is what worries me," Neville began. "Who would have access, but wouldn't want me to know about it? Can you do some checking and find out, Mr. Malfoy?"

"I'll look into it," Lucius agreed.

"Mr. Malfoy, why do you own a restricted plant?" Neville enquired timidly.

"Perhaps you are unaware of this plant's tremendous properties, Professor... although that surprises me, given your extensive knowledge and experience. I remember Draco remarking on your... er... fondness for, and expertise with, plants."

"Really?" Neville exclaimed. "Now, that I didn't know. But you mentioned the plant's properties. I'm interested in hearing about them. Restricted American plants are not part of our curriculum. However, maybe it's time to broaden our coverage to include more foreign species."

The two men looked thoughtfully at each other. "I've got a book about North American plants that are unusual and rare. It describes how to care for, harvest, and use the Noisome Vibrissa. Its pods contain a potent ingredient that can be used to cure the most acute cases of lumbago, vanishing sickness, and sleepwalking. I've suffered from lumbago ever since Azka— ...but never mind that. Healers have been testing many potential uses of non-native plants in order—"

"Sorry, but why is it restricted then? It seems that a plant with such amazing curative powers would be available to anyone who could afford it."

“Unfortunately, Professor, even the most benevolent items can be misused. A modification here, a tweak there, and these plants can be quite harmful. That's why the Ministry is so keen on keeping track of them."

"And you're lucky enough to have them," Neville declared. “That still doesn't explain how ours got to Hogwarts."

"Yes, it is worrying, isn't it?"

"Perhaps a former Death—" Neville began, but stopped himself. "Of course, I don't think you..." He broke off, feeling awkward, looking down at the singed hole in his robe.

Lucius lifted his eyebrows, but remained silent. He felt like he would never be able to live down his past. "In the past, I made choices which I now regret. However, I've moved on, as should others." He moved over to where Neville stood and extended his arm forward, revealing the barely visible ghostly outline of the Dark Mark. "This image is a constant reminder of my misdeeds. Imagine having to explain this to my grandson. It's a source of great shame. It reminds me of all those whom the Dark Lord deemed to be inferior, and who suffered terrible consequences."

Neville was surprised by this gratuitous proclamation of remorse. He said, gravely, "My parents would have been glad to hear that. But they're not in any condition to listen to apologies, however heartfelt they may be. I accept your apology on their behalf."

Lucius nodded and turned away. A framed photograph of Draco and Narcissa stood on a nearby table, and he stared at it absently, thankful that all his loved ones had survived Voldemort's reign of terror. Finally, he lifted his eyes.

Neville had heard enough. "Yes, well, back to the subject of today's visit... this plant of yours. As you are so knowledgeable about its dangers, malevolent forces, someone like Voldemort, as well as others, may want to elicit this information from you in order to use the plant for Dark purposes. I think it's best that you keep your ownership of this plant to yourself. Which Ministry officials currently know about it? Could anyone outside the Ministry know?"

"I'm not sure," Lucius mused. "I suppose it's possible that some of my correspondence about the Noisome Vibrissa may have been intercepted. I'll ask Narcissa later and let you know."

"Thanks, that'd be helpful. Now, the children and I must be getting back to Hogwarts."

Once the three youngsters and Neville disappeared into the Floo, Lucius and Narcissa breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you think the good... professor," Narcissa began with a smile, "suspects anything? Or did he believe your earnest story.

"Lucius gave her a long look and said, "That professor is sharper than I thought. We haven't seen the last of him."



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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #126 stats

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 11:05 am

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Aug 13, 2010 12:02 pm (#405 of 2792) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Statistics for Story 126
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic     103
  Verity Weasley     99
  HungarianHorntail11     3
  freshwater   36
  Julia H.   9
  legolas returns     20
  mona amon   53
  Solitaire   101
  Ludicrous Patents Office     5

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 399
Total Words: 2000
Last Submission Date: #401, Aug 12, 2010, 8:12 pm, (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 21 days, 16 hours, 6 minutes
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Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 11:08 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #126 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 11:07 am

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Aug 16, 2010 3:39 pm (#452 of 2792) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 1 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Post-Story Comments for Story #126, Volume XIII,
Potty Five Words: "Professor Longbottom and the Puzzling Plant"

This story was written from July 22, 2010 to August 12, 2010. Nine writers contributed to the story, which is 2,000 words long. Four of the nine writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Aug 13, 2010 12:03 pm: This story was an interesting one to be a part of, especially when the Malfoys were introduced. We each had our own ideas of how remorseful they would be post-DH, but somehow we had to contribute posts that helped the story flow and be cohesive, despite our divergent opinions. I think we did very well, in spite of these differences. I think the first part of the story, dealing with the smelly whiskered plant, went on a tad too long. While I appreciate descriptive sections of narrative, I feel like we need to be judicious about where we include them, as posts within a story are limited. Strong verbs, adjectives, and adverbs can pack a lot of meaning in a few words.

- Solitaire, Aug 15, 2010 2:05 pm: I really liked the story, PAH. In fact, I thought it read very well and had some rather nice, complex sentence structure and interesting vocabulary.

- mona amon, Aug 16, 2010 12:40 am: I prefer shorter stories, so I did find our last story a bit too long, but I liked it on the whole. I even liked the uneven bits and incongruities, because that's what gives the story it's Five-wordsy feel, IMO. The long flowery descriptions made me laugh! I think they're a lot of fun to write.

- Verity Weasley, Aug 16, 2010 6:19 am: Thanks for reminding me, PAH. I totally forgot about the post-story comments. It wasn't one of my favourites, but I did think it got better when we got to Malfoy Manor and I particularly liked the description of the garden. It's a little thing, but the bit near the beginning when Neville said he would go and consult a book and was then 'back from his office' about ten seconds later, really bothered me. I think the common room scenes were a bit wasted really, and in hindsight (a great thing!) there wasn't a lot of point having Rose go along. However, that is the nature of Five Words, and we never know where the story will lead. I did like the ambiguous ending!

- Solitaire, Aug 16, 2010 6:21 am: Verity, I agree with your comments about Neville and the book. I also thought the Common Room scene didn't do much to move the story along. I would like to have seen more "territory" covered in the conversation between Lucius and Neville.

- Potteraholic, Aug 16, 2010 6:50 am: mona and Verity, thanks for your comments. Verity, good point about Neville being back from his office lickety-split! It's good to think about setting up the passage of time in our narrative descriptions. I agree about introducing characters, then not having them play much of a role. We didn't like it when JKR did it, so why should we do it?



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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #127

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 11:14 am

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Aug 20, 2010 6:08 pm (#700 of 2792) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Potty Five Words: "Professor Longbottom and the Puzzling Plant, Part II"


Neville paced his study absentmindedly. The floor creaked with each step he took. Sighing, he wondered why he couldn't shake the nagging concern he had about Lucius. What was he up to? Neville wondered. I'll ask Harry at the weekend, when I see him at Hermione's birthday dinner, he thought. Until then, I'll just have to keep that troublesome plant away from the students.

Later that day, Neville went down to visit with Hagrid. Maybe he had seen something and could share his observations with him. Hagrid was outside checking on the Thestrals. Neville could see a couple of them nuzzling their young playfully. Hagrid stood, silently watching them. He started rounding them up, then noticed Neville walking down from the castle with a preoccupied air and shooed them away again.

"Hey, there, Neville!" he called. "Yeh look worried. Anythin' the matter?"

"Yes, Hagrid. I'd like to ask you about one of the plants by the third greenhouse. Would you take a look at it and tell me if you've ever noticed it before? I can't... wait... perhaps... during your travels,” Neville began, clearly distracted, "you heard something?"

"Wha'? Start again," Hagrid grinned. "Yeh not makin' much sense."

Neville chuckled at the confused look on Hagrid's face. He started recounting the events of the past weekend, including Lucius' declaration of regrets over some of his past actions, and his concerns about explaining them to his grandson.

"Ol' Malfoy said tha'?!" Hagrid asked, as they approached Greenhouse Three. "I'd be careful... a skrewt don' shed 'is stinger yeh know."

"That's what I thought," Neville agreed. "I just felt like he was putting on an act, for my benefit. But that still doesn't explain this." He removed the protective cage he had placed over the Noisome Vibrissa. "Hagrid... who planted this here?"

Stooping to get a closer look, Hagrid replied, "Well, I was away for a few days. Never saw anythin' like this before. But we could ask Professor McGonagall. She mus' know if anyone's goin' round Hogwarts grounds, plantin' stuff. They can' jus' stroll in withou' bein' noticed, because o' the enchantments, righ'?"

"Right. So that means it must've been someone approved of by Professor McGonagall. So... I guess I'd better head over to her office and see if she can solve this mystery for us."

Later, standing before the gargoyle, Neville hoped Professor McGonagall could explain the riddle. "Puking Pastilles." The gargoyle slid to one side and Neville entered the office alone. Hagrid had stayed behind to finish with the Thestrals.

Minerva McGonagall listened intently to Neville describe his discovery of the mysterious plant and his visit with Lucius Malfoy. When he finished, the Headmistress said, "I believe I know how this plant got here."

"Really? You're sure?" queried Neville.

"Well, a few weeks ago, I hosted a delegation of witches and wizards from North America. One of them was a herbologist eager to study the native European exotics. She presented—"

"Sorry, Professor, but why didn't I hear anything about these people visiting Hogwarts?"

"It was an unexpected visit while you were away on holiday in Sweden, Professor. It completely slipped my mind. Now, where was I? Oh, yes... as I was saying... she presented the school with a lovely Noisome Vibrissa."

"But, Professor McGonagall, it's Restricted!" Neville exclaimed. "Did she tell you about its properties?"

"Yes, she mentioned that some of them were volatile, but I assured her that I'd give you the notes she left behind." Neville felt a twinge of annoyance, wondering why, as she rummaged through her desk drawer, she hadn't mentioned this before. It just didn't seem in character for the no-nonsense, follower of protocol sitting before him.

Minerva looked up at last, a piece of parchment in her hand. "I thought this was it," she said, showing it to Neville, "but it doesn't seem right."

"Undecipherable squiggles are all that I can see on there," said Neville, leaning forwards.

"Really?" Minerva looked confused. "Are you sure? I don't understand. When that American witch, Priscilla Parker, gave it to me, it had specific notes about planting it outside the greenhouse, away from much foot traffic. I asked Filch to do so immediately. The following week, you returned from Sweden, but it was the start of term, and I forgot… I can't remember exactly what happened."

Neville looked at Professor McGonagall intently. "Professor, I think your memory has been modified!" he declared, with concern. "That, or Priscilla Parker's put you under an Imperius curse. Either way, your mind's been tampered with."

Minerva's brow furrowed and her nostrils flared. "How dare you suggest," she countered, rising from her chair, "that I would allow myself to be Imperiused?"

"No-one can blame you. Why would you think it couldn't happen to you?"

"I suppose you're right... but why would they want to give me this plant, supposedly so valuable, and then have me forget about it?"

"There's only one way to find out. Clearly I was never meant to see it," Neville concluded. "Perhaps Harry or Ron can investigate Lucius' Ministry license application? And Hermione's got connections with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Maybe they can discover why this plant is Restricted... if it is. And why this gift was given to Hogwarts in this strange manner."

"I see that it's time for dinner," Minerva interposed. "I'll leave you to your investigations, for the time being." Neville hurried towards the door, a few steps behind her.

The next day, he spoke with Harry and Hermione at the Ministry, in London. He laid out his suspicions about Lucius and his feeling that Minerva had been bewitched. Hermione immediately dispatched a memory recovery expert to Hogwarts to attend to the Headmistress, and Harry started looking through a report from the American Auror Department. It contained a list of American witches and wizards who were suspected of being involved in unsavory activities.

Neville asked, "Is Priscilla Parker's name anywhere on there?"

"Hang on," Harry said. "Yeah, here she is: suspected of smuggling restricted and endangered flora and/or fauna, but never caught in the act. How'd she manage to get herself invited to Hogwarts?" The three friends mulled that over.

"What I'd really like to see is Lucius' license application and what he intends to do with the plant," mused Neville.

"Yes," Hermione agreed, "having a look at that is vital, I think. We could read exactly what his intentions for the plant were when the Ministry granted him his license. I'm going to check with some colleagues and will get back to you."

About fifteen minutes later, Hermione returned, with a grim look, Lucius' license application in hand. "Read it for yourself!" she said.

Propagation of exotic species is strictly forbidden, unless given permission by the Ministry, and... "This application says, Permission Denied," Neville reported, excitedly.

"You think that is what Lucius wants the Hogwarts' plant for?" asked Harry, thoughtfully. "To breed them? But, for what purpose? Neville, is anything else written there?"

Neville scanned the document further and found some notes at the bottom of the second scroll. "Yes... says here that the stamen can be used in a potion that causes hallucinations and mental instability," he informed them. "And the whiskers, when ground and sprinkled into a concoction of gurdyroot juice and liberal amounts of bubotuber pus, will make a person pass gas uncontrollaby for hours on end, speaking nothing but the truth." A stunned silence followed this revelation.

"Really?" Harry said finally, "That's some plant!"

They all chuckled, then Hermione reminded them that they still needed to deal with Lucius somehow. "But we have no proof that he wants to do any of these horrible things. He might really just be a rabid plant collector."

"Stranger things have happened," Harry agreed, "but I think it's much more likely that Lucius is up to something shady."

"Suppose the Auror Squad paid him a visit," Neville suggested, with a wink, "to see how his garden grows."

"Good idea," Harry said. "I'll arrange for a couple of our most experienced Aurors, present company excepted, to investigate and have Lucius know that the Ministry is taking a very hard line against illegal activity of a herbological nature."

Neville grinned, as did Hermione. "All right then," said Neville, standing up. "Thanks for all your help. You'll let me know what you found out, won't you?"

"Of course," Harry assured him.

But Neville received news of the Aurors' activities in the weekend edition of the Daily Prophet. PRECIOUS PLANTS POSSESSED: LUCIUS MALFOY FINED! said it all.



NOTE: * image c/o www.entertainment.webshots.com





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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #127 stats

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:01 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Aug 20, 2010 6:08 pm (#701 of 2792) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Statistics for Story 127
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User
  # of Submissions  
  Solitaire   47
  Potteraholic   120
  freshwater   23
  Verity Weasley   58
  Ludicrous Patents Office   1
  mona amon   30
  HungarianHorntail11   3
  legolas returns   5
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 284
Total Words: 1420
Last Submission Date: #696, Aug 20, 2010, 3:43 pm, (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 5 days, 1 hour, 38 minutes



NOTE: * image c/o www.entertainment.webshots.com





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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #127 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:03 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Aug 20, 2010 6:09 pm (#702 of 2792) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 1:08 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Post-Story Comments for Story #127, Volume XIII,
Potty Five Words: "Professor Longbottom and the Puzzling Plant, Part II"

This story was written from August 15, 2010 to August 20, 2010. Eight writers contributed to the story, which is 1,420 words long. Five of the eight writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Aug 21, 2010 12:58 pm: I think this story worked out well enough. It won't be one of my favorites, though I had fun participating in the last bit of it, where the uses of the plant were described and there was a bit of humorous interaction between Neville, Harry, and Hermione. I think the plotline was maybe a bit more complicated than a Five Words story could handle: there were a few different things to think about, to keep track of, and to explain, which becomes hard to do when there are 6 to 8 writers participating at any given time. I also feel like initial comments/actions made by McGonagall seemed out of character for her, written just to move ahead with a plotline that didn't really consider her personality. So getting the McGonagall section of the story to somewhat work took some doing, and I'm still not sure what Priscilla Parker did to her memory, LOL! I just hope that memory recovery expert Hermione dispatched was able to sort her out.

That's why simple ideas are the ones that work the best here on Five Words, and are the easiest for occasional posters to handle, as they don't need to know all the twists and turns of a longer story in order to add five words that won't put a spanner in the works or cause a contradiction, etc. (Harry's half-brother, anyone?)

I have a feeling that some may find the ending too short. I think it achieved closure in a very succinct, yet comprehensive way. (But then I would say that, wouldn't I, having written the last 5 words.) freshwater, what a great idea to wrap-up the story with a report in The Daily Prophet and Verity for tweaking that idea a bit to suggest that a headline would do just as well as an article. PRECIOUS PLANTS POSSESSED was an excellent lead-in!

- Verity Weasley, Aug 21, 2010 2:23 pm: It was fun to write a shorter story this time and great that we got it finished so quickly. I think the thread has really benefited from the move to the main forum which is fantastic. I also enjoyed the second half of the story when Neville was talking to Hermione and Harry. There were some real laugh out loud moments there. I also thought we did a good job with the Hagrid dialogue early in the story. The section with McGonagall was the weakest link. Although we explained away her uncharacteristic behaviour, it still didn't quite feel right, especially the end part where she said she was off to dinner and didn't seem at all concerned. Anyway, overall, it was a good story and tied up the loose ends nicely.

- Ludicrous Patents Office, Aug 21, 2010 2:46 pm: I enjoyed the story. Uncontrollable gas, what a great side effect. Unfortunately that might hinder anyone staying in the same room with the victim to hear the truth.

- mona amon, Aug 22, 2010 4:23 am: The last story was fun to write, although it did get a bit complicated. It does have some plot holes. Why on earth would Lucius Malfoy have his illegal NV planted in Hogwarts of all places, when he had the rest of Britain to choose from? Or am I missing something? But, oh well, this is a 5 words story, not an Agatha Christie, and I rather like how it turned out.

- freshwater, Aug 22, 2010 7:46 am: Why on earth would Lucius Malfoy have his illegal NV planted in Hogwarts of all places, when he had the rest of Britain to choose from? Or am I missing something? --Mona (sorry for the mis-attribution, Verity!)

I figured it was the only was to import the restricted plant from America: have a group of herbalologists bring it in as a gift for the school and hope to retrieve it later. We could have included an explanation in the story, but someone -- who shall be nameless -- kept pushing us to be succinct and to finish up the story. You can't go for brevity and limits on length, and then complain about plot holes....IMHO.

I have to say that --given I've been teaching writing via the writing process for years now-- I don't think we can expect to create a story (assembled by a variety of random people, 5 words at a time, no less) of great quality and cohesiveness without taking it through at least one revision process. I see the Five Words thread more as a fun process, not as a producer of high quality product. If we're not going to revise --either during or after-- there's a limit to the quality we can expect...so we shouldn't be so critical of our work. I think it was a fun, interesting story, and I'm glad that we tied up the loose ends left at the end of the previous story.

- Potteraholic, Aug 22, 2010 8:08 am: freshwater, for the record, that was mona's comment, not Verity's. The devil is in the details. And, I don't mind being named, LOL, as the one pushing for brevity. Most of our Five Words stories have been the length of the past one. The data supports this. But it's keeping track of details in complicated storylines that's the problem, in my opinion, and makes for overly long stories. This has been proven time and time again in Five Words stories. That is the specific nature of my complaint: creating a complex a story, which causes plot holes to occur later. Which is why, as I will continue to say, for these kinds of stories-with-many-writers, 'keep it simple'.

- freshwater, Aug 22, 2010 8:17 am: K.I.S.F.F......Keep It Simple, Forum Friends: good advice. I think the last story did keep it simple, but was a bit rushed.....



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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #128

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:05 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Sep 24, 2010 2:21 pm (#1002 of 2792) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

image c/o www.stopbigmedia.com/
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Potty Five Words: "The Daily Prophet, 10th March 2008"



 
 
10th March 2008

CHUDLEY CANNONS
C R U S H
MONTROSE MAGPIES!


 

The Montrose Magpies were stunned beyond measure in their match against the Chudley Cannons on the Montrose Memorial Field last night. Hundreds of Chudley supporters braved the freezing conditions to see their new Seeker, Barnaby Barfoot, make his debut. The one-armed Seeker proved to all naysayers that a missing limb was no barrier to playing a competitive, offensive game.

The Magpie's Seeker, Marvin Muddlebury, tried his level best to keep up, but he was simply no match for Barfoot. His prosthetic hand firmly gripping the handle of his broom, Barfoot surged forward to catch the Snitch within the first four hours of the game. Muddlebury usually keeps his opponents busy with his tricky maneuvers for twice that long.

But not this time. While he was let down by the Montrose Beaters, the Chasers did what they could to even the score. They zoomed past Chudley's Keeper several times, but each scoring attempt was heavily pounded by the concerted defense of Willoughby Bottle and Jemima Shipstone, the Cannon Beaters. Resorting to the highly questionable tactic of cobbing was counterproductive, as the Magpies realized, so they decided to employ their signature 'Magpie Malarkey Formation'.

"It was bloody unsportsmanlike," said spectator Ron Weasley, attending the game with his brother, George. "It was just out-and-out cheating. Their Beaters and and Chasers all ganged up to target our Keeper. It's a good thing the ref finally penalized them before anybody got seriously hurt. Anyhow, Barfoot came through for us with the catch of the season, giving the Cannons our biggest victory over the Magpies in 42 years."

The final score was Chudley: 270, Montrose: 100.


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for your inability to master
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               GRINGOTTS GOBLINS
WIN GASTRONOMIC SHOWDOWN

An unusual event occurred on Saturday at the Leaky Cauldron in London, when a team of Gringotts Goblins took on a group of Hogwarts house-elves in a cooking contest. Their task: to create a delectable dessert using all the ingredients they had been given by the food editor from Witch Weekly, Celia Jones. Both teams were presented with the following items: eggs, butter, sugar, Gurdyroot jam, flour, pumpkin paste, some Honeydukes chocolate, and an assortment of liqueurs, flavorings, spices and decorations.

The house-elves set a furious-looking edible decoration, a baby Hungarian Horntail, in a bowl of clear gelatin as an unusual centerpiece to their creation. The Gringotts Goblins chose to include an architectural element atop their entry: an elaborate scale model of Diagon Alley.

"It was so detailed," said Greta Catchlove, author of Charm Your Own Cheese, and a guest judge. "I could identify each shop! The marzipan model of Gringotts was exquisite! It far surpassed the house-elves' fire-breathing baby dragon centerpiece. No contest, really," she added.

The Gringotts Goblins take home bragging rights and a life-size statue of themselves made from the finest, aged Lancashire cheese.

Next year's contest will be held in Hogsmeade, at the Three Broomsticks, where the contest will be opened up to include ghosts, trolls, centaurs, and seventh year Hogwarts students.


__________________________________

 
  Letters
      to the
  Editor


Dear Sir,

I was dismayed that your paper failed to report how Muggles have started sending coded messages using hand-held communication devices. This is a glaring oversight in last week's article entitled Magic Versus Muggle 'Magination. While updates about kitchen gadgets may be interesting, it's important that the Muggles' advancements in other areas be examined. They may soon surpass wizard practices. Take these hand-held communication devices, for instance. They can deliver messages much faster than owls and can sometimes even be used to take photographs, moving ones even! We must be vigilant, or risk becoming obsolete dingbats!

Ian Pidgeon-Clarke
Nettlebed, Oxfordshire


Dear Sir,

Thank you for that wonderful article Magic Versus Muggle 'Magination. I was fascinated by all the amazing machines those ingenious Muggles have come up with, like the 'microwave oven' and the 'self-stirring mixer'. I can't believe how quickly food can be prepared using these devices. My grandmother was a Muggle, and she told me stories about how long it took to do just about anything, from baking to washing and everything in between. But now, even Muggles can whip up a feast for six in as little as 30 minutes. Just think what wizards could do if we combined these amazing devices? Nothing nefarious, of course.

Imogen MacFusty
Outer Hebrides


Dear Sir,

How could you print that woefully inaccurate piece of gibberish called Magic Versus Muggle 'Magination? Wizards are obviously far superior to Muggles, and to suggest otherwise is complete lunacy! Next thing you know, we'll be inviting them to open a gadget shop in Diagon Alley! Please refrain from printing such tripe in the future.

Erasmus Oglethorpe
Ottery St. Catchpole, Devon


__________________________________

CORRECTION: Last Wednesday we reported that the British Dragon Conservation Society's annual Spring Fete raised 50,000 Galleons for their Hebridean Black Project. In fact, 5,000 Galleons was raised. We regret the error and offer sincere apologies.

 
 
 

IMPROMPTU
VAMPIRE PARTY
CAUSES MAYHEM
AT THE MINISTRY


Last night, Ministry officials were surprised by the sudden appearance of balloons and black and red streamers in the Atrium as a host of vampires waited for the lifts. They were there to petition the Ministry to change their classification from "non-wizard part-humans" to "non-wizard humans".

It seems that the vampires had celebrated a wonderful idea offered by Sanguini, the friend of the famous biographer Eldred Worple, who said: "Let's do a combined Patronus Charm to show we have magic even without wands. Then they'll have no choice but to make us full wizards, never mind "non-wizard part-humans."

The party ended only when a Ministry official, Hermione Weasley, stalked onto the scene. "Ladies and gentlemen," she began, "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic." Smiling, she then proceeded to hand each vampire a report that she had written. It highlighted the key changes she was advocating for improving the quality of life for the vampires. Sanguini noted that Weasley had forgotten one important detail. The term "part-human" had been retained in the report.

The vampires protested this by popping all the balloons and changing the falling streamers to dancing ribbons of vibrant flames. Passing inter-office memos caught fire, causing quite a commotion. Weasley tried to extinguish the flames single-handedly, but needed the help of several house-elves. One elf fell into the Fountain of Unity. The house-elf was heard bellowing curses at the vampires, but no one was hurt.

Weasley's assurance that the oversight would not cause lasting harm and the vampires' requests would be fairly considered, helped to appease them. They apologized for causing a ruckus, and dispersed. Weasley had no further comment.


__________________________________



  Today's Horoscopes

  ~ with guest astrologer
  Sybill Trelawney,
  Professor of Divination,
  Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry


Pisces - Your friendships will be tested due to a strange alignment of the moon and Neptune.

Aries - You will forget an important engagement when you meet a mysterious stranger.

Taurus - Your love life will take an unexpected turn if you pack too much for an upcoming trip.

Gemini - Loved ones will betray you. Beware of a sudden shower of compliments.

Cancer - Expect the unexpected, especially in the presence of a red-haired man.

Leo – Decisions made whilst the Full Moon is at its zenith will pay dividends.

Virgo - With Mars and Venus in conjunction, you may find that a lost possession reappears.

Libra - You're the key to discovering a new solution to a dietary dilemma.

Scorpio - Someone you thought was malicious and spiteful will lavish you with smiles and fine wine. Be on your guard.

Sagittarius - You may suddenly find yourself the center of attention. Embrace the spotlight and recite verses from Orotund Odes.

Capricorn - You're starting to feel like everyone is out to get you. Some spring cleaning will cleanse your aura.

Aquarius - The time is right for you to start planning a forthcoming event. Favorable conditions ahead.

 
Picture credits: websites where images can be found:
- the Daily Prophet: www.tuggerine-cats.de/harry_potter.htm
- Chudley Cannons and Montrose Magpies: www.dumka.us/Quidd.html
- Weasley's Wizard Wheezes: harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Diagon_Alley
- Flourish & Blotts: harrypotter.warnerbros.com/diagonalley/
- Gringotts Goblins: film.guardian.co.uk/gallery/picture/0,8455,-12404214790,00.html
- Letters to the Editor: rootsweb.ancestry.com
 
 
- Vampire Sanguini: harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/File:Sanguini.jpg
- Today's Horoscopes: www.sendmemobile.com/text/your_horoscope/
 
 






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 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:43 am; edited 3 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #128 stats

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:16 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Sep 24, 2010 2:21 pm (#1003 of 2792) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

image c/o www.stopbigmedia.com/
potterwatch


Statistics for Story 128
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic   114
  Ludicrous Patents Office     4
  Verity Weasley   81
  freshwater   5
  mona amon   46
  Mrs. Sirius   1
  PatPat   2
  Hieronymus Graubart     4
  John Bumbledore     5
  Puck   30
  Herm oh ninny   4
  Julia H.   2
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 295
Total Words: 1475
Last Submission Date: #1001, Sep 24, 2010, 4:23 am, (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 33 days, 15 hours, 24 minutes






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 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #128 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:18 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Sep 26, 2010 4:20 am (#1025 of 2792) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 1 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

image c/o www.stopbigmedia.com/
potterwatch


Post-Story Comments for Story #128, Volume XIII,
Potty Five Words: "The Daily Prophet, 10th March 2008"

This story was written from August 21, 2010 to September 24, 2010. Twelve writers contributed to the story, which is 1,475 words long. Five of the twelve writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Sep 24, 2010 2:22 pm: It was the first time, here on Five Words, where we tried to write an edition of the Daily Prophet. I think it was fun trying to write in the style of the Prophet and coming up with stories where we could use references from Potterverse canon and still be creative at the same time.

Some of the stories were easier to write than others - I still am not sure exactly what was going on in that vampire story - but it was still fun trying to figure out how to keep the story going and get to a conclusion. All the different non-article sections were also quite fun to write, especially the horoscope section. So, for our first foray into journalism, I think our combined efforts were quite good, and I think it would be fun to try this again sometime.

- Verity Weasley, Sep 25, 2010 12:44 am: WOW! What an amazing job PAH! How you managed all the HTML code for all those columns, pictures and different fonts is truly an amazing achievement. It really brings our words to life to see them arranged in newspaper format like that.

I agree that this was a really fun 'story' to be involved with. It was great to be able to combine all the different styles of writing under one umbrella, as it were. I think it all turned out really well - the stories, the ads, the letters and especially the horoscopes, all sound like something we might genuinely read in the Daily Prophet. It was also fantastic to see that list of contributors and see that it was a lot longer than usual. The more the merrier!

- mona amon, Sep 25, 2010 4:40 am: Oooooooooooh!!! Great work PAH!

The story itself was definitely one of our better ones, and very funny, and I think your format really brings out the humour and enhances the story. Good job!

EDIT: Some spring cleaning will cleanse your aura.

Only just noticed this line from our previous story. LOL!

- Julia H., Sep 25, 2010 5:55 am: I really like this issue of the Daily Prophet. Will there be more? Or maybe you are planning some issues of other magical newspapers and magazines? (The Quibbler, Transfiguration Today, etc.)

***hopeful look***

- Solitaire, Sep 25, 2010 2:19 pm: (from the You Know You're A Harry Potter/Lexicon Fan When... thread) ... when you think it was really cool of Potteraholic to set up the latest story to look like a real newspaper. BTW, my favorites were the Letters to the Editor and Mayhem at the Ministry.









 * Five Words – Volume 13 Index * 

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 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:44 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #129

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:33 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Oct 9, 2010 2:18 am (#1252 of 2793) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Potty Five Words: "The Clean Half-Dozen: Saving Daniel Radcliffe"


"Fabian! Duck!" yelled Gideon Prewett as a streak of red light flew past, narrowly missing the brothers. They whipped out their wands and peered into the dark alleyway. At the end of it, they could make out several hooded figures moving quickly towards them.

Fabian slipped into a doorway, pulling Gideon along with him. "How did they know we'd be here?" Gideon whispered.

Fabian shrugged, and then stiffened. A hand was illuminated by the eerie light of the waning crescent moon. "Ready? Now!" Fabian hissed.

Turning rapidly on the spot, the pair Disapparated, reappearing in Hogsmeade, in the Hog's Head pub, where their arrival was greeted with alarm by Aberforth Dumbledore, who stood polishing glasses at the counter.

"Merlin's beard! What're you two doing here?" he exclaimed, stooping to pick up the dirty rag he'd been using on the glass.

"We need to see Dumbledore... Albus, right away!" Gideon said breathlessly. "Order business."

Grumbling a slew of mild expletives, Aberforth approached the fireplace and grabbed a handful of Floo powder. "Wait, Aberforth, we'll go. You don't need to trouble yourself," the twins assured him, and headed for the door.

Ten minutes later, the two brothers were at the gates of Hogwarts. "Must be a faster way to do this," Fabian grumbled. "This is urgent. Perhaps the Floo—"

"Remember what Dumbledore told us?" Gideon reminded him. "He thinks Voldemort may have planted some of his followers at the Ministry as spies, so we have to be careful how we communicate."

"I know," Fabian sighed. "I hope Dumbledore has a plan B."

The Headmaster of Hogwarts was in his office, and soon realized that reinforcements were needed for their plan to safely escort Muggle-born wizard Daniel Radcliffe out of the country.

"Perhaps we should ask James, Sirius, Remus and Peter to help us, Professor?" Gideon suggested.

Albus considered this thoughtfully. "Aren't they a bit young? They're barely of age. This particular mission is especially dangerous. We all know the risks of fighting Voldemort, but young Daniel has no idea and needs seasoned witches and wizards on hand to help him."

"Those four wizards may be young, but they're quite good, you've got to admit that."

"Yes," Fabian added, "James, especially. And they were very successful against that Death Eater Mulciber, remember, Professor?"

Albus gave a small smile "You're absolutely right, both of you. I'll contact them straightaway. They're all at Sirius' new house helping to hang curtains."

"Curtains?" Fabian chuckled. "What spell do you use for that?"

"Never you mind," Dumbledore began, his eyes twinkling. "We'd better attend to Daniel's safety first." With his head in the fireplace, quickly muttering an incantation as protection against prying ears, Albus told Sirius all about the mission.

Within fifteen minutes, the brothers met the four friends, who were all eager to help. They quickly concocted a moving sand table, like their map of Hogwarts, of the village of Chipping Sodbury. They even had labeled footprints moving about in the sand.

"Radcliffe," Sirius began, "lives here, at the end of this street. This river, the Frome, is close to the back of the house, and here's the alley where you ran into the Death Eaters."

"Radcliffe's house is Unplottable," Gideon said, "so hopefully that'll keep them off track until we get there."

James looked at the moving footprints in the sand and said, "Look! By the river! It's Avery, Crabbe and Goyle! They must be the Death Eaters who attacked you earlier."

"Well, if they're still there, what are we still doing here? Let's go!" said Sirius.

"Hang on," cautioned Remus, "we need a plan. We can't just Apparate there and expect to just waltz into Daniel's house. They'll be waiting for you to come back."

The brothers nodded.

"What do you suggest, Remus?" Peter asked eagerly.

"If we surround them, every two of us to one of them, we can Disarm them quite easily," James suggested confidently.

"Sounds good," said Sirius carelessly. "Let's go!"

Fabian and Gideon looked a bit taken aback by this bold attitude, but grinned saying, "Okay, Crabbe's ours. Who's going to take on Avery?"

"We will," said James, nodding at Sirius.

"So Goyle's ours then," said Remus, indicating himself and Peter.

"Right," Gideon said, "everyone ready? Let's go!"

The six wizards arrived in Chipping Sodbury just as a slight drizzle set in. Their wands held at the ready, they slowly advanced towards the river. Spreading out slightly, they saw the three Death Eaters moving cautiously along the river path, peering into all the back gardens as they went. Staying in the shadows, they were a menacing sight in the drizzly darkness.

"We need to spread out more," Remus whispered.

"I think Goyle's up in the front, though it could be Crabbe," muttered Sirius, "they're both large oafs."

"Whoever it is, we'd better act soon. They're next door to Radcliffe's place now," Gideon muttered.

Sirius said, "James and I will go on ahead and come at them from up front while you stay behind them."

"Since we're across the river from them, we'll be at an advantage," Remus began. "They're hemmed in by those hedges. And there's a bridge up ahead that James and Sirius could launch their attack from. That way, those three can't escape that way, and we keep the advantage."

"Right, we'll hang back then," Fabian said briskly, "for the rear attack."

A minute later, James and Sirius were darting swiftly into position when they startled a duck near the bridge, which splashed noisily into the water. Goyle turned his head sharply, and in no time, James and Sirius were exchanging spells with him. Avery and Crabbe were also firing curses in their direction. Jets of light soared back and forth across the water, but the darkness made it difficult for the spells to hit their mark.

"Now!" James yelled, dashing forwards across the bridge.

"STUPEFY!" yelled Sirius, taking cover behind a bridge post.

Goyle was immediately struck, and fell with a thud.

A burst of red light from behind caused the other Death Eaters to spin and lose their balance. Remus and Peter took advantage and moved closer, as did the Prewetts.

"Petrificus Totalus!" yelled Fabian, as Remus, Peter, and Gideon Apparated to the other side of the river. The spell missed, barely.

The three Order members fired a spell at once. "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" they all shouted in unison. Crabbe stiffened and keeled over right into the river, with a very loud splash. Uttering a violent oath, Avery waded into the water after his fallen comrade.

"What do we have here?" James quipped, stepping into a patch of faint moonlight. Pointing his wand squarely at Avery's chest, he asked, "Out for a moonlit stroll are—"

"CRU—"

"Expelliarmus!" yelled Gideon in a rush, before Avery could finish his utterance of this Unforgivable.

You're not going to be causing any more trouble tonight, Avery," Remus said, raising his wand, Stunning him quickly.

Ministry reinforcements soon arrived to escort the soggy Death Eaters to their headquarters in London. The six members of the Order gathered around Radcliffe's back garden wall to regroup.

James spoke first. "All right, then. Those three won't be bothering anyone for now."

The other five nodded in agreement, then Sirius said, "Let's meet this Radcliffe character."







This diagram was first posted by Potteraholic - Oct 3, 2010 8:23 pm (#1181 of 2795) [Edited Oct 6, 2010 9:15 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'. Some of the code in the diagram was updated to unclude some forumotion.com features not available on WX.

I thought it might help to construct a diagram, of sorts, for folks to understand what had been suggested in Verity's posts (which were not archived from WX) about our story's rescue mission: how the Prewett brothers and the Marauders were going to Disarm the 3 Death Eaters sent to get Muggle-born wizard Daniel Radcliffe, who the Order was trying to escort out of the country, and get him away, safely.

The Clean Half-Dozen's Plan of Action: OPERATION RADCLIFFE (as suggested by Verity Weasley)


Village of Chipping Sodbury

Muggle Houses (and back gardens) - MH

MH     MH     MH     Daniel Radcliffe's house     MH     MH     MH     MH     MH     MH     MH     MH    

**************************************************************************************************************************
**************************************************************************************************************************
**************************************************************************************************************************
**************************************************************************************************************************

=======================================================================================
B
R
I
D
G
E

J & S (after crossing bridge, Disarm G) →     ← G Stupified!     A     C (↓ ends up in the river with a 3-person Petrificus Totalus curse.)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
duck~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ River Frome~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
↑   F, G, P, and R (casting Disarming spells at A and C across the river)   ↑
KEY:

*** back gardens
=== garden fence
Marauders: J=James. S=Sirius, R=Remus, P=Peter
Prewetts: F=Fabian, G=Gideon
DEs: A=Avery, C=Crabbe, G=Goyle

Edit: Oct. 4th - added: KEY, waves ~~~ to the river and added the startled, noisy duck

Edit 2: Oct. 6th - added: results of spells fired by the 6 Order members on Crabbe and Goyle. Just Avery left.







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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #129 stats

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:37 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Oct 9, 2010 2:19 am (#1253 of 2793)on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Statistics for Story 129
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User
  # of Submissions  
  Verity Weasley   97
  mona amon   39
  Julia H.   4
  Potteraholic   94
  Puck   6
  John Bumbledore     2
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 242
Total Words: 1210
Last Submission Date: #1250, Oct 7, 2010, 4:28 am, (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 11 days, 15 hours, 44 minutes






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 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #129 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:40 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Oct 9, 2010 2:20 am (#1254 of 2795) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.



Post-Story Comments for Story #129, Volume XIII,
Potty Five Words: "The Clean Half-Dozen: Saving Daniel Radcliffe"

This story was written from September 25, 2010 to October 7, 2010. Six writers contributed to the story, which is 1,475 words long. Three of the six writers posted feedback

- Potteraholic, Oct 9, 2010 2:40 am: Story #129 is up! I liked it, but I did find the fight scene a litle tricky as I had a hard time imagining the staging of it and deciding which spells to use. What did you think of the story?

- Verity Weasley, Oct 9, 2010 3:52 am: I think we did a pretty good job with the last story. Action scenes are always difficult to write. It is difficult to build a sense of tension when a single spell can overcome an opponent. I could picture the scene quite clearly in my head, but that didn't seem to make it easier to write! There were a few issues that probably needed a bit more explanation, like why the Prewett twins had to walk up to the castle to see Dumbledore. You would think in times of great crisis that they had worked out some more effective methods of communication, but we know so little about that time. Never mind. There were some good exchanges (I especially like the image of the Marauders hanging curtains), and I think the dialogue was in character. The bold, gung ho attitude of the Marauders came through, and I liked John's contribution of the impromptu sand table. Overall, not a bad effort.

- mona amon, Oct 9, 2010 8:31 pm: I thought the last story turned out very well. I didn't have high hopes for it with the DEs being so outnumbered by the Order members, but we managed to make it interesting. And that's what's so fascinating about 5 Words. You start off with something and it just evolves into something quite different and unexpected. OK, I don't think I'm explaining myself very well, but regular 5 Worders will know what I mean.






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 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
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Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 7:26 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #130

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:48 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 6, 2010 4:20 am (#1474 of 2795) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

image c/o
www.cakesbykrishanthi.co.uk
/wedding_cakes.html



Potty Five Words: "Bill and Fleur's Wedding: The Deleted Scenes"


Bill and Fleur were gliding around the dance floor, as every eye followed them.

"Don't zey make such a lovely couple?" Gabrielle sighed, nudging one of her cousins.

Luna, standing nearby, agreed. "Yes, they both have small ears, good for preventing Wrackspurt infestation. They won't need siphons!" Gabrielle looked confused, prompting Luna to add, "but your sister's dress is so beautiful. It reminds me of a moonlit Norwegian Silver-nosed Albatross. Daddy and I spotted one once, many years ago."

"Zat eez very interesting," Gabrielle remarked politely. "Eet must 'ave been very beautiful, zen. Please excuse me, Luna," she said, and soon disappeared into the crowd.

Fred and George were standing next to Hagrid, who was tapping his foot loudly, and not always in time to the music. Fred gave George a nudge and said, "Fancy a dance, Hagrid?"

Hagrid chuckled. "Not righ' now," he said, "but I did promise yer Mum a dance later on." Leaving Hagrid to his foot-tapping, the twins made their way towards a group of French girls who were giggling together near a floating bottle of champagne, glasses in hand. The bottle was refilling their glasses as soon as they got empty.

"Steady on, mademoiselles!" Fred cautioned. "You should be careful with that stuff, or it'll go straight to your heads!"

"Oh là là! You are a cheeky one!" laughed the tallest of the bunch. "Per'aps you wish eet to go to our 'eads, Monsieur Weasley."

"Monsieur Weasley is my father. I'm Fred, and this is George —"

"His much handsomer brother," said George, bowing with an elaborate flourish. "May I have this dance, mademoiselle?" Fred followed suit, and soon the twins were doing a brisk foxtrot on the gleaming, golden dance floor, expertly twirling and dipping their partners.

An aroma filled the air: sweet honeysuckle, fragrant roses, and lavender mingled with the scent of the hors d'oeuvres carried around by white-robed waiters. A scowling Viktor Krum watched the twins continuing to charm Fleur's cousins with their humorous antics, but then he smiled immediately when he saw Hermione sitting alone at a nearby table. He started walking towards her, but was stopped by Xenophilius Lovegood, who had been dancing backwards amongst the other guests. Xenophilius was hard to miss in his bright yellow robes, but there was one item in particular that drew Viktor's attention. As Xenophilius turned to wave to some friends, something glinted, briefly.

Viktor stopped suddenly, his eyes on the strange triangular symbol gleaming on Xenophilius's chest. "Vot —"

"Sorry, old chap," interrupted Xenophilius cheerfully, as he continued to practice his Moonwalk. "Didn't mean to bump into you." He waltzed away to join a group of older witches and warlocks seated near the band, leaving Viktor staring after him, a frown on his face.

Before he could react, Gabrielle grabbed him by the hand and said, "Come on, Viktor! Let's dance!"

Uncreasing his forehead, Viktor followed the lively girl to the middle of the dance floor, where he temporarily forgot about cross-eyed wizards.

"Make way! Make way!" trilled Auntie Muriel loudly. "Look sharp! I need to get through!" She crossed the dance floor hobbling a little, a goblet of champagne in one hand.

The dancers parted before her hastily, and she made her way to a table with a good view of the wedding cake. "I'm 107, you know."

"I didn't," Tonks said, smiling. She looked very lovely in a cream chiffon dress, which complemented her newly blonde hair perfectly. "You don't look a day over 106!" she added, with a grin.

Muriel looked at her, nonplussed at first, then she started cackling. She wagged her finger and said, "You've got some fire in your belly, you have. And judging by your glow, I'd say that's not all you've got in there!" She winked conspiratorially at Remus, who was sitting next to her. He smiled feebly and shrugged.

Tonks beamed at Muriel but put her finger to her lips.

"Oh, never you fear, dear,” Muriel said. "Your secret's safe with me. I'm the soul of discretion. Ask anybody." She looked around at the nearby guests to see if anyone had heard them and spotted Molly at the next table. "Well, almost anyone." A crooked grin split her lined face and she chuckled heartily, much to Tonks' amusement and Remus' discomfort. She inched closer to Tonks. "Did you see Harry Potter anywhere today? I heard he was supposed to be coming... good friends with the youngest Weasleys, apparently."

"No, I haven't seen him," Tonks replied nonchalantly. "Now, isn't that a beautiful cake?"

Muriel turned to admire the towering confection covered in delicate golden icing, festooned with an assortment of sugared violets and adorned with two beautiful model phoenixes. "Oh, look," Muriel said, "they're getting ready to cut the cake."

Bill and Fleur were holding an elaborately engraved silver knife, and approached the cake, smiling at each other. They waited until all the assembled guests were quiet before they proceeded to make the first cut. The model phoenixes shimmered, then became animated and flew off their perch atop the cake. Everyone clapped and cheered as the crimson and gold pair soared into the cerulean blue sky, over the heads of the delighted guests. It was only a few minutes before the cake was magically cut into enough pieces for all the guests.

Going back for seconds, Ron and Charlie ran into Viktor. Charlie began to compliment Viktor on his Quidditch successes. "Those last few catches you made were spectacular, weren't they Ron? Ron!"

"What? Yeah, fantastic," he mumbled. "Sorry, but Hermione's waiting for me," he said, backing away hurriedly, bumping into the small, tufty-haired wizard who had conducted the ceremony.

"So, they are together, then, your brother and Hermione?" Viktor inquired.

"What, Ron and Hermione? I think they're just good friends... all three of them, you know, with Harry Potter."

"I can't see Harry Potter anyvhere. Is he here?"

"Mmmm, no, I don't think so," Charlie began. "We haven't heard from him in a while."

"Charlie!" called a demanding voice.

"Quick!" Charlie urged Viktor. "This way! I can't talk to Auntie Muriel now! He hurriedly led them towards the opposite side of the dance floor.

"So, you don't think they're anything more than friends then?" Viktor asked hopefully, as they reached their destination.

"What?" Charlie asked, looking back to make sure Auntie Muriel wasn't pursuing him. "Look, you'll have to ask them," Charlie explained. "I haven't been around much, so I don't know what's going on, to be honest."

"Oh, vere have you been?" Viktor asked.

"Romania, mostly, but sometimes we make trips to other countries. I work with dragons, you see," Charlie explained.

"Ah, yes. Hermione told me, after the first task ended, that you vere in Hogvarts, handling the dragons. I vill never forget facing that dragon. I vish I vas as resourceful as Harry had been vith his broom. He is a good flier, very skilled. And a talented vizard. I thought I vould meet him here. I vanted to...never mind."

Charlie was about to ask Viktor to join him and Hagrid for a drink, but he was momentarily distracted by Xenophilius, who was now teaching the younger guests an elaborate hand-clapping routine.

"Excuse me," said Viktor abruptly to Charlie, turning to address Xenophilius. "Could I have a vord?"

"But of course my dear chap," Xenophilius responded. "I don't know your name, though. I'm Xenophilius Lovegood," he said, offering his hand.

"Viktor Krum," replied Viktor, not offering his in return.

"Vy do you vear the mark of Grindelvald? There," Viktor said, pointing to Xenophilius' chest, where the strange triangular symbol gleamed in the light from the floating lanterns.

Xenophilius' smile disappeared. "Mark of Grindelwald? Nonsense! This, young man, is the sign of the Deathly Hallows, one of my country's greatest legends. I don't suppose you've heard of them?"

"No, but I do know that mark was carved into a vall at Durmstrang, and everybody knew it vas the mark of Gellert Grindelvald! Surely you heard of how terrible he vas? How many he tortured and murdered? My grandfather told me —"

"My dear boy, I can assure you—"

"He vos in the resistance movement that fought against Grindelvald!" Viktor insisted, "And he vos killed, like countless others!"

Xenophilius was taken aback by Viktor's intensity. "Now see here, Viktor, is it? I don't know what you're talking about, but it seems that Grindelwald has sullied the true meaning of this symbol. Let me explain."

"I have no time for such nonsense. Explanations? Pah! I'll appreciate it if you keep your symbol to yourself!"

Viktor stormed off, leaving Xenophilius perplexed. He shook his head sadly. "Some people have such closed minds," he muttered to himself with annoyance.

"This has been a lovely wedding," Luna said, appearing at her father's side. "Nothing could ruin it."

A few minutes later, gasps filled the air as a silver streak landed suddenly and proved otherwise.






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:54 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #130 stats

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:51 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 6, 2010 4:21 am (#1475 of 2795) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Statistics for Story 130
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User
 
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic   83
  Verity Weasley   84
  mona amon   44
  Ludicrous Patents Office     1
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 212
Total Words: 1484
Last Submission Date: #1471, Oct 30, 2010, 5:11 am, (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 21 days, 2 hours, 31 minutes






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:55 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #130 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:54 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 6, 2010 4:22 am (#1476 of 2795) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 1 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #111, Volume XIII,
Potty Five Words: "Bill and Fleur's Wedding: The Deleted Scenes"

This story was written from October 9, 2010 to October 30, 2010. Four writers contributed to the story, which is 1,484 words long. Three of the six writers posted feedback, and one non-participant also posted her thoughts.

- Potteraholic, Nov 6, 2010 3:23 am: This story was fun to write. I enjoyed the sections with Fred and George and Great Auntie Muriel the most, and I think we got the characterizations right, for all the characters, for the most part.

While I was formatting the story to post it, I had the idea that I would include JKR's text in italics preceding and following certain sections with ... [CUT]... inserted to show how our story connected into the existing chapter, but it didn't flow well because our timeline was a bit out of step with hers. I think our story is a strong one, though, and stands alone well on its own. It just got me thinking, what if we were to write another 'Deleted Scenes' story? One that really did try to interweave what we imagine happened off-camera with what actually made it into the published books? I think it might be fun to try that sometime and see what we come up with.

- Verity Weasley, Nov 6, 2010 4:38 am: Anyway, the last story did turn out well and I think it was a good idea to try a 'deleted scenes' type story, but it was sometimes difficult to remember the details of the wedding as it happened in the book so we didn't trip ourselves up. Auntie Muriel was great fun to write and I agree that her sections are some of the strongest. I also loved the touches of humour from Luna and Xeno, and I thought the segments with Viktor also turned out well, once we got the hang of 'Viktor-speak!' I know I got tripped up on that a few times.

- Julia H., Nov 7, 2010 4:10 pm: Hi! I really like your last story! The list of participants may be short, but here is a reader who enjoyed reading the story!

- mona amon, Nov 7, 2010 7:35 pm: The deleted wedding scenes story turned out very well. I think the three of us did a good job.

I can just imagine, if someone from a foreign country were to walk into say, Swastik Stores out here [India], the conversation would go pretty much like the one between Xeno and Victor.






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:04 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #131

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:57 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Dec 12, 2010 2:40 pm (#1882 of 2795) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Potty Five Words: "Harry’s First Birthday"


"Look! It's a toy broomstick!" Lily smiled and showed James the present that Harry had received from his godfather.

"I wonder what gave Sirius the idea to get him that?" James mused, smiling to himself.

"Oh, right! As if you didn't know!" Lily laughed. "You told him to get it because you're convinced he's going to be the best Seeker Gryffindor ever had!"

"Well," James began, "I might've said something to Sirius about hoping that he'd be a good flier... but I'd be a tough act to follow, wouldn't I?"

Lily laughed, and Harry giggled as she kissed him and said, "Let's see what other presents you've got, my little munchkin. See? This one's from Mummy and Daddy. Want to see what it can do?" Lily placed a brightly wrapped box into Harry's tiny hands and he ripped the paper eagerly.

Zerbinetta, Lily's black cat, pounced on a discarded piece of red and gold wrapping while little Harry tried to open the box. At last, with some help from Lily, he pulled off the lid. Out flew a toy snowy owl, which swooped around the room, while Zerbinetta followed the fast-moving object with keen interest.

Harry stood on tiptoes, but the owl was out of reach, and he soon turned his attention to the toy his godfather had sent him. He crawled off Lily's lap and took a shaky step toward the miniature Nimbus that was exactly like his father's, only half its size. He stumbled, but James caught him just in time. Harry wriggled and squirmed in his father's grasp and reached for the broomstick.

"He's walking," Lily whispered.

"He wants to fly!" laughed James.

Indeed, as soon as James released Harry, he toddled over to the broom and grabbed it. The parents exchanged an apprehensive glance and James drew closer to the child. Harry climbed on quickly and with a beaming face, he started walking quickly away from Lily and James.

Suddenly the little broom lifted a few inches off the floor. Harry squealed with laughter as the broom took off after the cat.

"Be careful, darling!" Lily said.

The toy snowy owl, meanwhile, landed on another of Harry's presents, then zoomed upwards again. Harry, noticing this immediately, set off in pursuit, laughing excitedly. He leaned forward and grabbed at it, catching it in midair.

"GRYFFINDOR WINS!!!" James cheered, rushing up to give Harry a hug.

Lily was smiling, remembering the first time she discovered she could float off the playground swing seat into the air, free as a bird, all those years ago. She must have been six or seven years old. Her sister, Petunia, had left her alone on the swings to take a closer look at some girls skipping rope at the far end of the playground. It happened suddenly. Her hands let go of the chains and she tipped forward, but instead of falling down, she soared upwards and then slowly floated down to the ground. She looked around to see if anyone had noticed her. The only other person there was the groundskeeper, who did not pay much attention to her. She had been just as excited as Harry was now.

"My turn," she said, reaching for her son and giving him a kiss. Two pairs of green eyes met, shining with enthusiasm, and Lily thought she should capture this moment on film.

When she returned with the camera, she saw Harry had knocked the ugly vase Petunia had given them for Christmas off its shelf. James was ready to say "Reparo!", but Lily stopped him. "Don't bother, sweetheart. I never liked that thing, anyway."

James grinned and said, "Whatever you say, Lil'."

Lily shrugged. The vase reminded her of how strained her relationship with Petunia was and how insufferable her husband Vernon could be. They had not even visited them once since Harry's birth, nor had they ever invited them to see their son. Sending the vase had been a perfunctory courtesy that Petunia had performed in lieu of visiting her for Christmas, as Lily had suggested.

Vernon turned her away, in the rudest possible manner, last year when she tried to visit Petunia in the hospital - Lily, nearly eight months pregnant - when Dudley was born. James, with Dumbledore's help, had even managed to have a Ministry car take her there. It had been a lot of trouble for nothing, and James had become so angry that he wanted to visit Vernon and teach him a lesson, but Lily had stopped him.

"One potent Bat-Bogey Hex would put him in his place!" James had declared, much to Lily's amusement.

A shriek of delight brought Lily out of her reminiscence. Zerbinetta streaked past trailing silver ribbons as Harry stepped off his broom. Lily picked up the camera and set it hovering in front of the fireplace. She called James and Harry over to sit down by her side then waved her wand with a flourish.

"Activare!" Lily sang, and the camera started clicking away.

"Now, how 'bout another present?" James suggested, grinning mysteriously.

"Here's one, from Alice and Frank!" Lily exclaimed, holding up a garishly wrapped parcel with a profusion of bows. "Augusta must've wrapped this," Lily mused. Then, frowning slightly, she said, "I hope little Neville liked our gift."

"What little boy wouldn't like a set of true to life toy dragons? Even the safer, non fire-breathing ones?"

"I'm still not sure," Lily worried, "but at least he won't get burned."

Harry was intrigued by the colorful contents of the Longbottoms' gift. They were building blocks, which could be arranged into the shapes of houses, castles and bridges with just a wave of a hand. It was amazing to see them transform under Harry's little fingers.

"What a lovely gift! And look how much Harry likes it! That Alice... she's so thoughtful. I remember when we were taking antenatal classes together at St. Mungo's, she always had a freshly baked rhubarb crumble waiting when we got back to her place, near the hospital. She remembered it was my favorite sort of crumble—" Lily broke off with a sigh, wishing she had one right now.

"Well," James began, with a chuckle, "we don't have any rhubarb crumble, but we do have a gorgeous birthday cake!"

"Thanks to Batty and her baking spells... I don't know what I'd have done without her help."

Harry knocked over his pile of blocks, which he had stacked carefully in a tower formation, but before he had time to start crying, James picked him up and took him over to the couch, where he began tickling him. Harry's giggles filled the air, making Lily smile.

Having Harry is an absolute joy, Lily thought, I'm so glad we didn't wait to have him even though Voldemort's causing such trouble these days.

"We are safe here," James said, correctly interpreting his wife's pensive look. They smiled at each other fondly as Harry wriggled and squirmed between them. At that moment, there was a knock at the door. Zerbinetta jumped and slunk underneath the sideboard. Lily went to the front door to greet Bathilda Bagshot, who lived nearby.

She was carrying a tray of muffins and a bottle of Madam Rosmerta's oak-matured mead. "To toast Harry James Potter, a great wizard of our future history!" Bathilda cried.

Lily smiled and ushered her venerable friend into the living room, where a small table had been set for tea. Bathilda put down the refreshments she brought and said, "I have a gift for Harry. Where is he?"

"Well, he is—" Lily looked perplexed, as he was nowhere to be seen. However, a giggle from above drew her attention and she was astonished to find Harry perched on a high shelf in pursuit of the toy snowy owl, which was fluttering nearby.

James stood beside Lily, equally astonished. "He'll be a great Quidditch player!" the proud father boasted. "He's totally fearless!" He reached up and plucked Harry from his precarious seat.

"James! I thought you were watching him!" Lily remonstrated, "He could've hurt himself!”

"Harry?" scoffed James. "He's bulletproof! Did you see how he just sat there, not scared, at all?"

"Because he's a baby, James! Honestly! You amaze me! We are adults, we should know better."

"Sorry, luv," murmured James contritely, "Won't happen again."

"I'm sorry Bathilda."

Don't worry, dear," Bathilda chuckled. "You should know, though, that this isn't unusual behavior for wizard children to show their magical abilities at such an early age. But..." she paused. "He seems earlier than most!" The proud parents beamed with joy at their child. Harry grinned back. Just then, another knock sounded at the door.

"That must be Emmeline. She said she'd be dropping by to wish Harry a happy first birthday."

"I'll let her in," said James hurriedly. "You keep an eye on Harry!" he added, with a wink.

"What cheek! If you didn't lose him in the first place— Emmeline! Come in! It's wonderful to see you!" said Lily enthusiastically.

"It's nice to see you," Emmeline agreed as James ushered her in to join Bathilda.

Lily made the introductions, explaining to Bathilda that Emmeline was someone she'd met through Dumbledore and they'd become good friends. Emmeline had been Lily's Maid of Honor and helped her with all the wedding preparations.

"How's the birthday boy, then?" Emmeline asked, smiling at Harry and giving his hand a little shake. "Here's a present for you!"

Harry's eyes lit up at the sight of brightly wrapped package. He took it eagerly and began tearing the paper.

"A book!" Lily exclaimed. "How lovely!"

But Harry took one look, then set it aside, having noticed another present on the tea table. A musical spinning-top was soon twirling around the floor, eliciting squeals of delight from Harry. The adults watched and laughed while Lily took the opportunity to exchange a few words with Emmeline, out of Bathilda's earshot.

"Any news from the Order?"

"Yes, they think Voldemort is trying to recruit a few officials from the Ministry, among other things. It's a pity you had to go into hiding. We could use your help figuring out what to do in case Voldemort successfully infiltrates the Ministry."

A sharp rapping at the door ended their conversation. James went to greet their latest visitor. "Hey, Wormtail! Glad you could drop by! How are things? Padfoot and Moony said they're too busy with Order business right now, but may drop in next week some time."

The newcomer - a short, plump wizard with a pasty complexion - answered in a squeaky voice, "Hello Prongs. It's good to see you... and Harry of course." Peter followed James into the living room, where the others were gathered around the table.

"Wormy!" Lily beamed. "So glad you could make it. Would you like some tea?"

Soon they were all seated, and Peter pulled a small package out of his robes and handed it to Harry.

A small squeaky mouse was revealed as the little boy pulled off the wrapping paper.

When he looked up again, a birthday cake was set on the table, with a dragon-shaped candle burning merrily on top. Harry, bright-eyed and open-mouthed, was entranced by the flickering flame.

"Blow out the candle, Harry, and make a wish," Lily smiled, pointing to the flame.

Harry took a deep breath. As he blew out the candle, the adults cheered. Bathilda started serving the oak-matured mead and Lily cut the cake.

Raising her glass, Bathilda said, "Here's to you, little Harry. The first of many wonderful birthdays, each as joyous as this one, in the circle of loving friends and family, the greatest gift anyone can ever ask for."

Everyone smiled warmly but Peter shifted uncomfortably in his spot.

"We'll have an even bigger party next year, won't we, Harry!" James said, ruffling Harry's hair. "We'll get the whole gang together—"

His words were interrupted by the sound of breaking glass.

Peter's bloodstained hands trembled as Lily asked, "Wormy! Are you all right?"

"Y-yes," he squeaked. "Just under a lot of stress."

"It's alright," Lily soothed. "Things will get better soon."






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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #131 stats

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:03 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Dec 12, 2010 2:41 pm (#1883 of 2795) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Statistics for Story 131
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User
  # of Submissions  
  Verity Weasley   86
  Potteraholic     138
  Julia H.   89
  mona amon   51
  Betelgeuse Black   6
  Ludicrous Patents Office     1
  Phoenixfeather   30
  Hieronymous Graubart     1

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 402
Total Words: 2010
Last Submission Date: #1881, Dec 12, 2010 6:40 am, (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 1 month, 6 days, 2 hours, 2 minutes






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 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #131 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:05 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Dec 12, 2010 2:41 pm (#1884 of 2795) [Edited Dec 14, 2010 2:37 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #131, Volume XIII,
Potty Five Words: "Harry’s First Birthday"

This story was written from November 6, 2010 to December 12, 2010. Eight writers contributed to the story, which is 2,010 words long. Four of the eight writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Dec 12, 2010 3:07 pm[/a]: Story #131 is up! I almost called this story "The Precious Party", but then I thought that title was too... precious. So I erred for the more sturdy and objective, "Harry's First Birthday".

I know this word was used a few times in various post comments while writing this story, but it was a bittersweet experience, writing about what could have been for the young Potter family. I think we did a good job, with only a couple of minor hiccups along the way, of fleshing out details that were in-line with canon. There was a good mix of plot details and characters, interesting gifts were given, and we even managed a bit of foreshadowing in the end.

It'd be interesting to write a story about Lily before she gets married, maybe in her last year of Hogwarts or right after she leaves? We can try to imagine, as Verity had wondered when we first started this story, who were her female friends and what sort of young woman she was. Maybe one day soon, we'll try to write that story.

What did others think of this story? And it was great to see Heironymous Graubart pop in quite suddenly at the end... hope to see you, and others (BB and LPO) again.

- Verity Weasley, Dec 13, 2010 11:36 am[/a]: I thought the last story turned out really well. I liked how we incorporated details from canon, such as the toy broomstick, the cat, and Bathilda and Wormy's visits. We took a few liberties too, having Emmeline show up and deciding she'd been Lily's Maid of Honour. Fleshing out Lily turned out to be harder than I imagined, but I think we managed to get to know her a little bit better. I thought the ending, with its foreshadowing and Wormy having 'blood on his hands' was very fitting.

- Julia H., Dec 13, 2010 1:34 pm[/a]: I enjoyed taking part in the last story - it was interesting to mix the canon things with our own ideas. The foreshadowing turned out well

I'm glad that PAH and Verity like that last minute idea about the blood on Peter's hand. Fleshing out Lily ... perhaps a situation with more conflict could have served that purpose better.

In general, I feel that the stories where we do more planning and discussion (plot-wise) tend to be more successful. The writing is more of a team-effort then, too. Like here.

- mona amon, Dec 13, 2010 8:04 pm: The previous story turned out very well. I do not know if we succeeded in fleshing out Lily, but we did flesh out Lily's letter to Sirius very nicely, and the ending, with Wormtail's shattered glass and bloodstained hands was very good.

Fleshing out Lily was a problem for me because JKR has written her as such a Mary Sue. Makes it kind of difficult to add anything to that, except for more boringly perfect stuff.






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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #132

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:13 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Jan 1, 2011 9:04 am (#2110 of 2795) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Potty Five Words: "The Chronicles of Crookshanks"


Mark Reads 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire': Chapter 15 was the inspiration for this story.
(For more great stuff from Mark, here’s the home page for Mark Reads Harry Potter)
Spoiler:

Mark Reads 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire': Chapter 15

Aug 04, 2010

In the fifteenth chapter of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Mad-Eye Moody starts to get weird, Draco Malfoy is schooled again, Hermione continues to be better than everyone, and then....THEN...the students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang arrive and HOLY ****. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read Harry Potter.

CHAPTER 15: BEAUXBATONS AND DURMSTRANG
DETAIL LOG
HEDWIG
SUBJECT: HARRY POTTER
PERIOD: SEPTEMBER 5, 1994 - OCTOBER 30, 1994

SEPTEMBER 5, 1994

0645: SUBJECT AWAKES TO WRITE ONE SIRIUS BLACK A LETTER. FEW THINGS AMUSE ME MORE THAN A 14 YEAR-OLD CHILD TRYING TO LIE TO SIRIUS BLACK. CRAVING MOUSE.

0652: QUICKLY FLY BACK TO OWLERY SO THAT SUBJECT DOES NOT KNOW I AM WATCHING HIM. WATCH OTHER OWLS STARE AT ME WITH JEALOUSY.

0653: WATCHED SUBJECT SLIP ON OWL POOP. ENDLESSLY AMUSING.

0654: SUBJECT TRIES TO WAKE ME UP WHILE I PRETEND TO BE ASLEEP. THIS IS WHAT SUBJECT DESERVES AFTER SENDING ME TO FIND SIRIUS BLACK. IF OWLS COULD CHUCKLE, I WOULD CHUCKLE.

0655: SUBJECT HAS THE AUDACITY TO SUGGEST USING THAT DUMB WEASLEY OWL, PIGWIDGEON. I'D RATHER EAT MY OWN BEAK OFF. TOUCHE, POTTER. TOUCHE.

0656: I BIT SUBJECT AS A SIGN OF "AFFECTION." AT LEAST THAT'S HOW THE DOLT WILL INTERPRET IT.

0656: LEFT SUBJECT AT HOGWARTS TO LOCATE SIRIUS BLACK. WHO IS PROBABLY TRAVELING. GREAT. A MOVING SUBJECT. REMIND ME TO SHIT IN POTTER'S BED SOMETIME.

OCTOBER 30, 1994

0815: RETURNED WITH LETTER FROM SIRIUS. ENJOYED THE WARM WEATHER. NOT EXCITED TO RETURN TO THE OWLERY AND LISTEN TO ALL THOSE AMATEUR OWLS HOOT ABOUT THEIR MEDIOCRE LIVES. MUST TRAVEL MORE.

0816: SUBJECT OFFERED ME BACON RINDS. I'LL TRAVEL AFTER I EAT THESE. OM NOM NOM.

0818: SUBJECT THINKS I DRANK HIS ORANGE JUICE. I DIDN'T. I'VE BEEN HOLDING SOME MICE POOP IN MY TALONS FOR HOURS. JOKE'S ON HIM.

1756: RECEIVED NEWS THAT THE ARRIVAL OF STUDENTS FROM BEAUXBATONS AND DURMSTRANG IS IMMINENT. HOPE THEY DON'T BRING THEIR POST OWLS. NOTHING WORSE THAN UNCIVIlIZED STRIGIFORMES.

1809: STUDENT JUST EXCLAIMED THAT THE BEAUXBATONS ARE ARRIVING AT HOGWARTS VIA DRAGON. MUST REMEMBER TO FIND HER OWL AND INSTRUCT HIM OR HER HOW TO USE POOP AS A SECRET WEAPON.

1810: BEAUXBATONS ARRIVED BY WINGED HORSES. MIGHT CONSIDER CHANGING MY SUBJECT. POTTER WOULD PROBABLY PREFER TO ARRIVE TO PLACES ON THE BACK OF HAGRID.

1811: BEAUXBATONS HEADMASTER STEPS OUT OF CARRIAGE. POSSIBLY MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN EVER. DEFINITELY FLYING TO FRANCE AND TELL SUBJECT THAT SIRIUS "MIGHT" BE THERE.

1825: DURMSTRANG STUDENTS ARRIVE ON A SHIP THAT CAME OUT OF THE LAKE. SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING DITCHING HOGWARTS ASAP.

1827: VICTOR KRUM IS HERE. ABANDONING HOGWARTS SOON. AFTER I GET SOME MORE BACON RINDS. MMMMMM BACON.


DETAIL LOG
CROOKSHANKS
SUBJECT: HERMIONE GRANGER

DATE: 25 DECEMBER 1994


0730: HERMIONE RECEIVES PRESENTS FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SHE SHARES SOME SPECIAL MUGGLE SWEETS WITH THE OTHER GIRLS IN THE COMMON ROOM. I WAS OFFERED SOME, TOO, BUT THANK YOU, I PREFER TASTY TREATS.

0745: HERMIONE WENT TO SEE THOSE TWO AMUSING BOYS, HARRY AND RON. RON ASKED HER (AGAIN!) ABOUT SOME BALL AND WHO SHE WAS GOING WITH. SHE TOLD HIM TO STOP ASKING.

0830: HERMIONE RETURNED FROM BREAKFAST WITH HARRY AND THE WEASLEYS. I WAS STATIONED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM, LYING ON MY FAVORITE RUG, WHICH PROVIDED A CLEAR VIEW OF THE FIREPLACE AND ALL THE ACTIVITY THAT WOULD FOLLOW.

0832: A GAME OF WIZARD CHESS BETWEEN HARRY AND RON BEGINS.

0836: RON WINS. I CHASE THE SHRIEKING PAWNS.

0837: I MUST'VE BEEN TOO FORCEFUL IN APPREHENDING THE MARAUDING PIECES, AS HERMIONE DECIDED TO PICK ME UP AND CARRY ME OVER TO THE SOFA. SHE AND GINNY WERE SORTING THROUGH SOME MISSHAPEN KNITTED ELF HATS AND TANGLED BALLS OF WOOL. IT TOOK ME HOURS OF UNROLLING AND SCRABBLING TO GET IT THAT WAY. NEVER MIND.

0839: GINNY FOUND THE MAGIC SPOT UNDER MY CHIN. WHILST RUBBING IT, SHE BEGAN TALKING ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL I WAS WHEN I TRIED TO KILL THAT CONNIVING AND COWARDLY 'RAT', SCABBERS. I THINK I LIKE GINNY.

0845: HERMIONE GOES UPSTAIRS TO GET ME SOME SPECIAL CHRISTMAS TREATS.

0850: SHE HASN'T RETURNED. I GO UPSTAIRS TO INVESTIGATE, AND FIND HER BUSY WITH PRETTY THINGS IN HER WARDROBE. HOW COULD SHE FORGET ME?

0855: HERMIONE BEGINS POWDERING HER NOSE.

0905: HERMIONE IS STILL LOOKING AT HER REFLECTION, HER HAIR ESPECIALLY. I UNDERSTAND GROOMING IS IMPORTANT, BUT FIRST THINGS FIRST.

0906: POUNCED ON HERMIONE'S SHOULDER FROM THE TOP OF THE WARDROBE. HERMIONE WASN'T PLEASED. SHE NEEDS TO PRIORITIZE CORRECTLY.

0910: TREATS SERVED, FINALLY. DELICIOUS!

0920: I SETTLE DOWN ON THE BED I SHARE WITH HERMIONE AND KNEAD IT UNTIL IT'S SOFT. NAP TIME.

1133: A STRANGE NOISE FROM OUTSIDE AWAKENED ME. IT WAS HAGRID SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROLS. REMINDED ME OF THE TIME I LIVED AT THE MAGICAL MENAGERIE WITH ALL ITS INHABITANTS' DISCORDANT TUNES.

1135: I SAUNTER DOWNSTAIRS TO SEE IF THERE'S ANY FOOD. NO LUCK, BUT I SUCCEED IN TRIPPING RON. HE YELLS SOMETHING ABOUT MERLIN AND UNDERWEAR. HERMIONE TELLS HIM TO CALM DOWN. YOU'D THINK HE WOULD BE MORE CIVIL, CONSIDERING HOW I UNMASKED THAT DUPLICITOUS EXCUSE OF A HUMAN BEING, WORMTAIL. MY NEXT HAIRBALL IS DESTINED FOR RON'S BED.

1150: EVERYONE LEAVES FOR LUNCH IN THE GREAT HALL. THINKING ABOUT ALL THAT FOOD MADE ME HUNGRY, SO I SCAMPERED OFF QUIETLY BEHIND HERMIONE, BUT DETOURED TO THE KITCHENS. I MUST HAVE SOME STUFFING. IT IS CHRISTMAS, AFTER ALL.

1200: DOBBY HAS GIVEN ME A VERITABLE FEAST!

1230: I'M STUFFED! I DRAG MYSELF BACK UP TO THE COMMON ROOM FOR ANOTHER NAP.

1245: I SETTLE IN THE BEST ARMCHAIR BY THE FIREPLACE.

1710: I WAKE AND STRETCH. DARKNESS HAS FALLEN OUTSIDE. I HEAR HERMIONE'S FOOTSTEPS ON THE STAIRS SO I PREPARE FOR SOME MUCH-NEEDED SCRATCHING BEHIND MY EARS. UNUSUALLY, HERMIONE IGNORES ME AND RUMMAGES THROUGH THE PILE OF MAGAZINES STACKED ON THE TABLE.

1715: HERMIONE, FINDING THE ISSUE OF 'WITCH WEEKLY' SHE WAS LOOKING FOR, TOOK IT AND DISAPPEARED UPSTAIRS.

1721: I ENTER THE DORMITORY TO SEE WHAT HERMIONE IS UP TO. SHE SEEMS VERY PREOCCUPIED. SHE'S IGNORED ME AGAIN. I JUMP UP ON THE BED.

1723: PLAINTIVE MEOWING FINALLY ACHIEVES A RESPONSE. HERMIONE PICKS ME UP. SHE SMELLS DIFFERENT AND WHEN SHE STROKES MY FUR, IT IMMEDIATELY GETS SMOOTH AND SHINY. I STRUT OVER TO THE MIRROR.

1725: I AM UNSPEAKABLY HANDSOME! I MEAN, I'M QUITE GOOD-LOOKING, GENERALLY, BUT THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY. HERMIONE LOOKS PRETTIER THAN I'VE EVER SEEN HER, BUT SHE DOESN'T SEEM SATISFIED AND CONTINUES GROOMING.

1855: HERMIONE IS CHANGING INTO HER GOWN. SHE HAS BEEN JOINED IN THE DORMITORY BY THE OTHER GIRLS BUT SHE STAYS HIDDEN BEHIND THE LONG CURTAINS AROUND OUR BED.

1950: FINALLY, HERMIONE IS ALONE. SHE EMERGES FROM THE CURTAINS. I BARELY RECOGNISE HER. SHE LOOKS STUNNING! SHE'LL TURN EVERY HEAD!

1952: SHE TAKES ONE LAST LOOK AT HERSELF, THEN TURNS TO ME AND SAYS, 'WISH ME LUCK, CROOKSY.'

2011: FEELING PECKISH. I GO BACK DOWN TO THE KITCHENS.

2016: HAD TO DODGE SOME SNIGGERING SIXTH-YEARS IN THE CORRIDOR FIRST. HEARD LOTS OF LOUD MUSIC COMING FROM THE GREAT HALL. SOUNDED QUITE GOOD, TOO.

2047: BACK FROM THE KITCHENS, I DECIDE TO LINGER FOR A BIT OUTSIDE THE GREAT HALL AND WATCH SOME OF THE DANCING. I LOOK FOR A SUITABLE VANTAGE POINT TO VIEW THE PROCEEDINGS.

2051: FOUND A GREAT PERCH IN ONE OF THE MAGNIFICENTLY LARGE CHRISTMAS TREES IN THE ENTRANCE HALL.

2057: FINALLY SAW HERMIONE. SHE WAS DANCING WITH ONE OF THE GRYFFINDORS... NEVILLE, I THINK. SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS HAVING A... BALL! CHUCKLE, CHUCKLE. THERE WAS A STEADY STREAM OF DANCERS SWIRLING AROUND THE HALL, AND COUPLES DISAPPEARING INTO THE COURTYARD.

2112: HERMIONE'S DANCING WITH A TALL, DARK STRANGER. SHE'S SMILING BRIGHTLY AT HIM AND LOOKS HAPPY. BEHIND HER, SITTING AT A TABLE, RON LOOKS DISGRUNTLED. I WONDER WHY.

2117: HAGRID TWIRLS BY, DANCING WITH THE LARGEST WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE. AND I'VE SEEN SOME PRETTY LARGE WOMEN, MAKE NO MISTAKE!

2132: I YAWN AND DECIDE THIS PERCH ISN'T AS COMFORTABLE AS IT WAS NEARLY AN HOUR AGO. THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH DANCING I CAN WATCH.

2143: IN MY FAVORITE CHAIR BY THE FIRE, I SETTLE IN FOR A NAP.

0004: THE SOUND OF RAISED VOICES INTERRUPTED MY DEEP SLUMBER, WHERE I'D BEEN DREAMING OF A SUNNY GARDEN FILLED WITH FAT, SOMNOLENT MICE. I SAW A LARGE BOWL OF CREAM BEING CARRIED TOWARDS ME BY A BEAUTIFUL FELINE WITH SOFT SILKY BLACK FUR AND LOVELY SHARP CLAWS. SHE WAS ABOUT TO GIVE MY TUMMY RUB WHEN A LOUD NOISE, HERMIONE'S ANGRY VOICE, SCARED HER AWAY.

0007: HERMIONE SEEMS AGITATED. AND RON IS REDDER THAN RUDOLPH'S NOSE. IT SEEMS THEY DISAGREE ON THE PROPER PROTOCOL FOR ISSUING BALL INVITATIONS. RON CLEARLY FELT THAT HE HAD DONE NOTHING WRONG... TYPICAL.

0009: HARRY MAKES GESTURES OF SYMPATHY TOWARDS RON. MEN HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER, I SUPPOSE, BUT WHERE RON IS CONCERNED, I REALLY THINK HARRY SHOULD STAY OUT OF IT.

0010: HERMIONE, HER LOVELY HAIRDO ALL UNDONE, STORMS UP THE STAIRS TO THE GIRLS' DORMITORY. RON LOOKS CONFUSED, WHICH IS USUAL FOR HIM. HIS GOLDFISH IMPRESSION WAS QUITE GOOD, ACTUALLY. MADE ME A BIT HUNGRY, IN FACT.

0011: I GIVE RON MY MOST DISDAINFUL LOOK AND FOLLOW HERMIONE UP TO OUR BEDROOM. SHE NEEDS MY WONDERFUL SNUGGLES AT A TIME LIKE THIS.

0042: HERMIONE'S ASLEEP. I'M... YA-A-A-W-W-WN...






 * Five Words – Volume 13 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIII, Story #132 stats

Post  Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:20 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Jan 1, 2011 9:07 am (#2111 of 2795) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

image c/o
www.thefamiliars.blogspot.com



Statistics for Story 132
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic   100
  Verity Weasley   89
  Julia H.   8
  mona amon   9
  Phoenixfeather   3
  Hieronymous Graubart     1
  Betelgeuse Black   4
  Phoenixfeather   30
  azi   8

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 222
Total Words: 1120
Last Submission Date: #2109, Jan 1, 2011 7:36 am, (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 20 days, 4 hours, 29 minutes

NOTE 1: While working on finishing the official compiled version of the story, I thought there needed to be one more log entry at the end. (The last post of the story will reflect the later EDITED date/time of Jan 1, 2011 7:36 am rather than the original date/time of Dec 31, 2010 9:57 am.)

NOTE 2: The 10 words preceding the story, listed in bold below, were not originally, submitted as part of the story. At first, they were going to be the title, but then, due to formatting reasons, a shorter title was chosen. Therefore, the following words are included in the word count, but are not attributed to any poster. (There were 1110 words submitted + these 10 other words = 1120)
[/font]

DETAIL LOG
CROOKSHANKS
SUBJECT: HERMIONE GRANGER
DATE: 25 DECEMBER 1994






 * Five Words – Volume 13 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 

_________________
"Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent - and a nice thirst to prove yourself ..." (PS/SS)
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Re: Archive of Five Words Stories

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