Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV)

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Story #136

Post  Verity Weasley on Mon Jun 06, 2011 12:03 pm

observed quietly. "I was beginning

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Story#136

Post  Julia H. on Mon Jun 06, 2011 12:10 pm

to think I'd have to

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Story #136

Post  Potteraholic on Mon Jun 06, 2011 12:16 pm

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make another tree crash right                   

Puck, I like your countdown message.

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Story #136

Post  Verity Weasley on Mon Jun 06, 2011 12:19 pm

next to them."

Firenze nodded


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Story #136

Post  Potteraholic on Mon Jun 06, 2011 12:21 pm

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and said, "I'd keep my                   

Hi Verity!

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Story #136

Post  Verity Weasley on Mon Jun 06, 2011 12:30 pm

eye on those two, if

Hi PAH!

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Story #136

Post  Potteraholic on Mon Jun 06, 2011 12:47 pm

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I were you, Professor. They                   

Wasn't sure if Firenze would call him 'Albus'. Any thoughts?

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Story #136

Post  Verity Weasley on Mon Jun 06, 2011 1:39 pm

're an adventurous pair. It was

Spoiler:
lucky the thestrals arrived when they did ... or something like that.

I agree PAH. It seems reasonable to assume that Firenze would address DD as Professor.

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Story #136

Post  Mona on Mon Jun 06, 2011 1:42 pm

fortunate those thestrals arrived just --> then

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Story #136

Post  Potteraholic on Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:10 pm

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then."

"Fortunate? Or foreseen?" replied
                  

From thesaurus.com: 'foresee' - a synonym for plan; part of speech: verb; definition: intend, mean

Methinks ...
Spoiler:
might know a thing or two about the thestrals. Ahhh... the days before Voldemort was still non-corporeal... DD had much more time to look after his students.


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Story #136

Post  Verity Weasley on Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:37 pm

Dumbledore, with a knowing wink.

5 posts left - or less. Could this be the end?




Forgive me for editing your post, Verity, but I just want to save on a post, since this thread is winding down.

I think this makes a great ending, but I will wait to see what other posters think. If you think there is more to say, that can be said in 25 words or less, than go ahead and post your five words with a comment explaining what you were thinking. If you think this makes for a good ending, then let us know. I will wait until this evening (EST) to (ADDED: declare this story officially finished and) close this thread temporarily. I'm going to be busy at school this week, so I'm not sure when this story will be up. It'll take a couple of days at least. Thanks! ~ PAH




Okay, there's been no activity for about half a day, so I'm going to declare this story officially
F I N I S H E D! Stay tuned! ~ PAH




I didn't see the PM Puck sent me last night about the ending of the story. Here it is:


From Puck To Potteraholic, Yesterday at 8:45 pm
Hello PAH,

I didn't want to waste posts if we needed them, so I decided to play with the private message option to let you know that I agree that it is a perfect ending.


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:43 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : added messages from Potteraholic and Puck re: the ending of the story.)

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIV, Story #136

Post  Potteraholic on Fri Jun 10, 2011 1:51 pm

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Five Words: "Fred and George: Gallivanting First-Years"


Fred perched with the Sorting Hat on his head, awaiting its verdict impatiently. The Gryffindor table cheered loudly as it shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!" Fred beamed and joined his older brothers at the Gryffindor table.

George's turn was next, and they watched eagerly as Professor McGonagall placed the Hat on his head. Immediately, the hat proclaimed "GRYFFINDOR!"

"I knew it!" Fred called triumphantly, as George joined his fellow Gryffindors.

Charlie clapped both boys on the shoulder and said, "I already warned my friends about you two troublemakers. They'll hex you if you try anything funny." But Charlie softened his words with a wink, and the twins grinned happily. They could hardly wait to see Gryffindor tower.

Dinner started soon after Professor Dumbledore had finished his Welcome speech. He had told the first-years never to enter the Forbidden Forest on any account, as it was a very dangerous place. Roaming the corridors at night would be highly inadvisable, as Filch needed help cleaning Greenhouse Two after the sudden bursting of the bubotuber plants.

Between mouthfuls of shepherd's pie, Fred and George wondered just what could possibly be lurking in the Forbidden Forest and how they could get there. They were still discussing it as they went up to their dormitory and later, as they lay awake, too excited to sleep.

Over breakfast the next morning, the pair resolved to sneak out after their Herbology class. They could pretend they had left something in the greenhouse, and make a detour into the forest instead. The plan worked perfectly until they reached the edge of the forest.

"Oi! What der you two think yer doin'?" The huge figure of the gamekeeper blocked the twins' path. At his heels was an oversized, shaggy hound, drooling a barrel of saliva.

"Nice dog you've got there, Hagrid," Fred grinned.

"We love animals," George added. "Don't we Fred?"

"Aah, you two must be Weasleys," Hagrid smiled, ruffling George's hair. "Yer brothers've told me all 'bout you."

"Don't believe it!" said Fred cheekily. "They tend to exaggerate."

Hagrid eyed the pair suspiciously. "So what're yeh doin' here where yer not s’pose’ ter be?"

The twins replied in unison, "Coming to meet you, of course! We've heard so much about you from Bill and Charlie. They say no one else knows as much as you about the secrets of the forest."

Hagrid beamed, his face creasing under his shaggy beard. He puffed out his chest a little and blustered, "Yeh, well, I've grown up here, 'aven't I? Been workin' here for unicorn's years. S'pose it wouldn't hurt tha' I'm not afraid o' nothin' living in there. As fer you two," he looked from one to the other with a wink, "I can tell yeh're not the sort to be easily spooked."

Fred grinned wickedly. "So, you'll let us go exploring in the Forest then?" he asked.

"'Course not! I'd lose my job fer sure. Now lads, get back to the castle, or I'll set Fang on yeh!" Hagrid said, winking. "But all jokin' aside, yeh'd best be gettin' back to the castle, sharpish."

Looking sheepish, Fred and George nodded their agreement silently. The pair started off towards the castle - at least that was what they did at first.

Once out of Hagrid's sight they doubled back and headed towards the forest, looking about for other teachers. Five minutes later, they were hidden amongst the trees, listening intently for any signs of life. Finally, after five very long minutes, a loud crack behind them made them both jump. They spun around and saw a centaur with white-blond hair, palomino body, and bright blue eyes.

"Greetings," he said, fixing them with a solemn blue stare. "What are you doing here? Students are not permitted in the forest. There are many dangers here for young humans, especially those who have just entered the threshold of magical education."

Fred took a step forward and said, "We came to see for ourselves. We've always wanted to see a unicorn with our own eyes. We've heard so much about them from the stories our Great Auntie Muriel told us."

"Yeah," George said. "Are there any around here?" He peered into the depths of the forest, as if expecting to see one immediately. He cupped a hand behind his ear, hoping to hear hooves clopping in the distance.

"There are only a few of those living here, and they're very leery of humans."

Undeterred, George continued. "But there are some here, right? And... what makes this place so dangerous anyway? The only remotely scary thing we've seen so far is Hagrid's paisley jumper."

Smiling, the centaur asked, "And me? You don't consider me scary?" He shrugged off his bow and notched an arrow, taking aim at Fred's hat.

WHOOOOSH!

"HEY! Mind my head!" Fred exclaimed, spinning around to see his hat zooming through the air and slamming into a tree some feet away.

"Wow, Mr. …er …Centaur, that's pretty impressive," George said, nodding.

"Firenze is my name," the centaur replied. "I must—"

BOOM! A tree crashed mere feet away from where the boys were standing. Fred and George both drew back in alarm. Firenze frowned. He stepped forward to examine the fallen tree and said, "This must be the work of a Dark creature."

"Really?" said Fred, looking around eagerly. "Shall we find it then, Georgie?"

George nodded, his eyes shining with excitement. "Let's go!"

And ignoring Firenze's disapproving look the pair set off to look for the mysterious and dangerous Dark creature that was famous for ambushing curious students, if Firenze was to be believed. Engrossed in examining the roots of the tree, the twins failed to notice their legs were being scaled by some kind of creepy-crawly creatures.

"Fred! Is that a Billywig?" George asked quickly, brushing the insects away.

"Couldn't be," Fred answered, directing his wand at George's foot.

"Oi! Don't aim that thing at me!" George yelled. He jumped away quickly, tripping on an exposed root. As he fell, the vividly blue winged creature clinging to George's leg, gave him a painful jab with its stinger.

"Oww! Gerroff me!" he shouted, swiping the insect away. Suddenly, as he tried to get up, George found himself floating several inches above the ground.

"Fred, look," he giggled. "It must've been a Billywig. I'm a bird!" Flapping his arms, George continued to levitate, bumping his head on tree branches.

"Mind your head!" Fred called, feeling slightly jealous.

George, however, continued to giggle and flap erratically. "Whheeeee!" Fred tried to pull George down by his trainers, but George soared higher, out of Fred's reach.

Firenze watched the scene in silence, struggling to conceal his amusement. Then, spying Fred's hat, he ambled over to retrieve his arrow. "Here," he said, tossing the hat back to Fred, "If I were you, I'd return to the castle soon as you can get your brother down."

"Down? I'm not coming down! I'm flying!"

"You can't have all the fun!" declared Fred, getting down on his hands and knees and foraging among the undergrowth as though he had lost something. "Gotcha, Billy boy!" he crowed, lifting up a bright blue bug, a triumphant gleam in his eyes.

The Billywig peacefully remained in his open palm momentarily, then pricked Fred's thumb. Fred yelped, dropping the bug. A strange sort of giddiness suddenly came over him, and he began jumping up and down, flapping his arms. George turned a somersault in midair because he was laughing so hard.

"Take my hand," he said, reaching down to Fred. As soon as Fred tried to grasp George's outstretched hand he found himself floating effortlessly upwards.

"No, thanks," Fred began with a cackle. "I'm going up myself!" He let out a delighted squeal and began 'swimming' through the air with exaggerated arm and leg movements, imitating the breaststroke. "Catch me if you can!"

Suddenly gaining speed, Fred shot forward, and George followed suit. But before they had a chance to practice any more acrobatic maneuvers, they heard a strange noise ahead of them. Fred abruptly stopped in mid-air and said, "Listen! It sounds like rushing wings. Can you hear it?"

George listened carefully, then nodded.

A sudden downdraft sent them spiraling towards the ground.

"Aaaahhh!" George yelled, grabbing at a tree limb. He caught hold of it and managed to hang on until Fred crashed into him. They were both unnerved by the invisible force that still hovered around them.

Beckoning to the pair, Firenze trotted over and reached up, grabbing hold of the hems of the intrepid duo's robes.

"Gentlemen," he said calmly, "I think you've managed to disturb the denizens of this forest. Perhaps it would be best if you both rejoined your friends in the Great Hall. All this excitement would surely whet even the weakest of appetites."

"Well, I am hungry," said Fred, "but first I want to find out what this invisible thing is." He pointed upwards.

Firenze replied, "Very well," and released his grip on the fearless twosome and disappeared amongst the trees.

"Horsey!" George called. "Come back!"

"His name's Friends," Fred reminded him quickly. "And anyway, we don't need him! C'mon, let's go find that mysterious... thing before we call it a day." Fred rolled onto his back in the air.

"Oi!" George yelled, "we're supposed to be looking for something, right? We should do the breaststroke!" They both started swimming, following the sound of rushing wind. They propelled themselves forward with amazing speed, pushing off from tree limbs, and scaring the birds out of the branches. But it soon became clear that the two young Gryffindors would not catch their quarry.

"Shhh," Fred said suddenly, coming to a hovering halt alongside a gnarled oak tree, "See that?" he whispered, pointing to the ground. A large hare, apparently dead, judging by the large gash in its throat, was jerking piteously for several seconds before large chunks of fur began being ripped off its body. Something invisible was gouging large pieces of flesh from the body.

George dropped down to the lower branches for a closer look, but Fred decided to waste no time looking from a safe vantage point. He pushed down to the lower limbs of the wizened oak tree, until he was just a few feet from the uncanny phenomenon. With a final push off the trunk, Fred hit the ground, scrabbling for a handhold on the grassy surface. But before he was able to grab on, he was pushed aside by an invisible force, which felt like a blast of dragon-breath.

"Aaaahhh!" yelled Fred, scrambling for cover. "That was too close for comfort, George! Let's get out of here!"

A leathery wing clipped Fred's back as they made their escape from the shadowy clearing, sending them bouncing across the grass. "It's an invisible monster!" shouted George, struggling to get himself upright with shaking limbs.

The forest seemed more threatening than before, especially since it was getting darker, with rain clouds approaching. Long shadows stretched spectral fingers through the forest.

"I don't like this spooky place!" declared George. "Friends was right. We should go back right away!"

"That's a very sensible suggestion George," agreed Fred, turning towards the castle. "We'll have to try and bounce our way back."

After finding some long sticks to help them along, they were soon 'punting' through the forest as fast as they could, their feet never touching the ground.

Their retreating backs were being watched by two pairs of brilliant blue eyes. "They took a little more convincing than most," Dumbledore observed quietly. "I was beginning to think I'd have to make another tree crash right next to them."

Firenze nodded and said, "I'd keep my eye on those two, if I were you, Professor. They're an adventurous pair. It was fortunate those thestrals arrived just then."

"Fortunate? Or foreseen?" replied Dumbledore, with a knowing wink.






 * Five Words – Volume 14 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:14 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIV, Story #136 stats

Post  Potteraholic on Fri Jun 10, 2011 1:52 pm

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Statistics for Story 136
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User  
  # of  
  Submissions  
  Puck     56  
  Verity Weasley     125  
  Mona     46  
  Potteraholic     127  
  Betelgeuse Black     3  
  Julia H.     33  
  Choices     5  
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times.

Total Submissions: 395
Total Words: 1,975
Last Submission Date: June 6, 2011 3:37 pm (EST). (Verity Weasley)
Total Time to Create Story: 25 days, 16 hours, 40 minutes






 * Five Words – Volume 14 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIV, Story #136 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic on Fri Jun 10, 2011 1:54 pm

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Post-Story Comments for Story #136, Volume XIV,
Potty Five Words: "Fred and George: Gallivanting First-Years"

This story was written from May 11, 2011 to June 6, 2011. Seven writers contributed to the story, which is 1,975 words long. --- of the seven writers posted feedback. All times listed are EST.

- Verity Weasley, Jun 10, 2011 3:23: I enjoyed reading our previous story. Although it felt very meandering when we were writing it, and seemed to take a long time to get going, it didn't feel so slow when reading it all back together. However, I think we need to steer clear of starting stories with the Sorting, in future. We've done a lot of those, and unless the story centres on the events of the Sorting and the first night feast, then it really just slows the story down. The encounter with Hagrid didn't really add much to the story either, although we obviously couldn't know that when we're in the process of writing the story. However, it did give rise to one of my favourite lines in the story - that the scariest thing the twins had seen was Hagrid's paisley jumper! Once the action got going in the forest, the pace picked up and the story got better. I think we did pretty well with it there, and it flowed well.

- Potteraholic, Jun 10, 2011 8:33 pm: Thanks for your post-story comments, Verity. I was too pressed for time to post mine earlier, as I was trying to think of a title, get the previous story up, and this new story started before my train was due to leave the station!

I, too, enjoyed this story, and was surprised by how well it seemed to work out given that it sort of meandered along while we wrote it. I agree... the forest part was the most interesting section. And as I said while writing the story, I love Hagrid, but find writing dialogue for him, in his distinctive dialect, a bit challenging at times. Some lines I loved:

- "...many dangers here for young humans, especially those who have just entered the threshold of magical education."
- "The only remotely scary thing we've seen so far is Hagrid's paisley jumper."
- "Horsey!" George called. "Come back!" / "His name's Friends," Fred reminded him quickly.
- The forest seemed more threatening than before, especially since it was getting darker, with rain clouds approaching. Long shadows stretched spectral fingers through the forest.


- Puck, Jun 11, 2011 1:28 pm: I'm here! It's just been crazy busy, and I hadn't noticed the story was posted. I did like it in the end. There were some great lines. I think the slight meandering without being quite sure what was coming next suits the twins.

- Julia H., Jun 12, 2011 4:08 am: PAH, sorry for not saying anything about the previous story yet, but when I came over to Five Words, I realized you were already half-way into the present story. I wanted to participate, and I had to try really hard to come up with something worthy of Firenze! LOL. (Not sure if I succeeded.)

So our initial hesitation about the plot notwithstanding, it turned out a really funny story. I had difficulty participating in the writing towards the end, but that was my problem, not the story's. I still think that writing something consistently humorous needs serious planning (in general), but I officially take back my earlier observation that Gred-and-Forge stories are not our strong points.






 * Five Words – Volume 14 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:32 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Story #137

Post  Potteraholic on Fri Jun 10, 2011 2:12 pm

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Thanks for your patience, Five Worders... Story #136 is finally up!

We have a small number of posts left on this thread; threads in this forum end on page 67 and we are currently near the end of page 63. That leaves pages 64, 65, 66, and 67. That's 4 pages x 15 posts/page = 60 posts and 300 words left. (I'm not counting the various posts needed to post the official story, stats, etc. which will be covered by the 4 posts remaining on this page that I didn't include in the figure above.)

So while we were writing the previous story, I suggested that we write a short Five Words 'story' to close out the thread. Something we worked on in the recent past that was quite short was the horoscope section of The Daily Prophet (included in the spoiler box below) which excluding the byline, has 200 words. That's about 15 words per horoscope.


Spoiler:
10th March 2008

Today's Horoscopes
  ~ with guest astrologer
  Sybill Trelawney,
  Professor of Divination,
  Hogwarts School of Witchcraft
    and Wizardry


Pisces - Your friendships will be tested due to a strange alignment of the moon and Neptune.

Aries - You will forget an important engagement when you meet a mysterious stranger.

Taurus - Your love life will take an unexpected turn if you pack too much for an upcoming trip.

Gemini - Loved ones will betray you. Beware of a sudden shower of compliments.

Cancer - Expect the unexpected, especially in the presence of a red-haired man.

Leo – Decisions made whilst the Full Moon is at its zenith will pay dividends.

Virgo - With Mars and Venus in conjunction, you may find that a lost possession reappears.

Libra - You're the key to discovering a new solution to a dietary dilemma.

Scorpio - Someone you thought was malicious and spiteful will lavish you with smiles and fine wine. Be on your guard.

Sagittarius - You may suddenly find yourself the center of attention. Embrace the spotlight and recite verses from Orotund Odes.

Capricorn - You're starting to feel like everyone is out to get you. Some spring cleaning will cleanse your aura.

Aquarius - The time is right for you to start planning a forthcoming event. Favorable conditions ahead.
I asked what folks thought of the idea of writing a horoscope, and received favorable responses from Verity and Julia. So, with the three votes in the affirmative, I move that we end Volume XIV of Five Words with another horoscope in The Daily Prophet.

With the posts/words remaining, the horoscopes for each zodiac sign could be a bit longer this time around: 25 words each, give or take a few. That's 5 posts per horoscope. We would need to be mindful of how long each sign's entry was, then move on to the next. It would be a bit challenging, but then, this is a game, innit? It's good to have a challenge, and keep our wits about us, now and then.

Verity suggested that the guest Astrologer for this issue be none other than Friends Firenze. Great idea! I'm sure his entries will sound vastly different than Prof. Trelawney's! And as it's June, I thought it made sense to start with Gemini.

Could everyone please post a countdown and also no NON-POSTS, please. Thanks!


To help us write this 'story', here is a list of the zodiac signs in order, from Gemini to Taurus:
Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, and Taurus.

Here are some horoscope websites, if you ever need inspiration for 'horoscopy-sounding' terminology.

• horoscope.com     • astrology.com     • horoscopes.mydaily.com/




This is what will precede the story, but not be included in the word count:

10th June 2011

Today's Horoscopes
  ~ with guest astrologer
  Firenze the Centaur


Okay, without any further ado, here are the first five words of Story #137:





Gemini - The full Moon's rising                               

59 posts left


    Because posts are limited,
please don't post NON-POSTS:
    posts with no story words.




Last edited by Potteraholic on Thu Jun 23, 2011 6:39 am; edited 4 times in total (Reason for editing : various formatting changes)

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Story #137

Post  Verity Weasley on Fri Jun 10, 2011 3:23 pm

in your house, marking an

I enjoyed reading our previous story. Although it felt very meandering when we were writing it, and seemed to take a long time to get going, it didn't feel so slow when reading it all back together. However, I think we need to steer clear of starting stories with the Sorting, in future. We've done a lot of those, and unless the story centres on the events of the Sorting and the first night feast, then it really just slows the story down. The encounter with Hagrid didn't really add much to the story either, although we obviously couldn't know that when we're in the process of writing the story. However, it did give rise to one of my favourite lines in the story - that the scariest thing the twins had seen was Hagrid's paisley jumper! Once the action got going in the forest, the pace picked up and the story got better. I think we did pretty well with it there, and it flowed well.

Now, on to Firenze's horoscopes.

sunny 58 posts left


Last edited by Verity Weasley on Sat Jun 11, 2011 1:58 am; edited 1 time in total

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Story #137

Post  Potteraholic on Fri Jun 10, 2011 8:33 pm

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Thanks for your post-story comments, Verity. I was too pressed for time to post mine earlier, as I was trying to think of a title, get the previous story up, and this new story started before my train was due to leave the station!

I, too, enjoyed this story, and was surprised by how well it seemed to work out given that it sort of meandered along while we wrote it. I agree... the forest part was the most interesting section. And as I said while writing the story, I love Hagrid, but find writing dialogue for him, in his distinctive dialect, a bit challenging at times. Some lines I loved:


- "...many dangers here for young humans, especially those who have just entered the threshold of magical education."
- "The only remotely scary thing we've seen so far is Hagrid's paisley jumper."
- "Horsey!" George called. "Come back!" / "His name's Friends," Fred reminded him quickly.
- The forest seemed more threatening than before, especially since it was getting darker, with rain clouds approaching. Long shadows stretched spectral fingers through the forest.




unexpected yet fortuitous change in                               

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Story #137

Post  Verity Weasley on Sat Jun 11, 2011 1:58 am

fortune for those who take

...advantage

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Post  Potteraholic on Sat Jun 11, 2011 8:25 am

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care to heed friends' warnings.                               

That's 5 posts/25 words for Gemini... on to Cancer! And additional post-story comments about "Fred and George: Gallivanting First-Years" much appreciated!

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Post  Verity Weasley on Sat Jun 11, 2011 8:48 am

Cancer - A period of turbulence

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Story #137

Post  Potteraholic on Sat Jun 11, 2011 9:35 am

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will end as Mars begins                               
Verity, a speedy recovery to your son!

Page 64! 3 more to go before this thread ends!


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Post  Verity Weasley on Sat Jun 11, 2011 9:41 am

to wane, making this a

Thanks PAH. He's very tough.

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Post  Potteraholic on Sat Jun 11, 2011 9:54 am

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a(n) optimal time to refurbish your                               

Verity, good on 'im!

It looks like we might be the only ghost-writers for Firenze's horoscope.


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Post  Verity Weasley on Sat Jun 11, 2011 10:12 am

recent rocky relationships.

Leo - Something


My immediate thought was to follow 'refurbish your' with 'kitchen' but then I thought that sounded more like Trelawney and would be too mundane for Firenze.

Hopefully some of the others will join in PAH. The more the merrier, especially with horoscope writing.

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Post  Potteraholic on Sat Jun 11, 2011 11:26 am

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long-desired will occur when Jupiter                               

I had just been thinking something general like 'home' or 'residence'. Yes, Firenze is certainly more highbrow than Sybill, for sure.

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