Favorite Quotes

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Favorite Quotes

Post  Lady Arabella on Thu Jul 28, 2011 8:49 pm

The following is an archive of material originally posted on the Harry Potter Lexicon Forum, hosted by World Crossing, which ceased operations on April 15th, 2011

Archvist's note: There are two other "quote" threads for your pleasure. Please also see "Favorite Quotations and Excerts from HBP" and "Favorite Quotes Used to Contrast That JKR Uses and Re-Uses," posted in this folder.

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Last edited by Lady Arabella on Fri Jul 29, 2011 5:10 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post  Lady Arabella on Thu Jul 28, 2011 8:56 pm


Favourite Quotes
Lumos* - Oct 25, 2003 12:48 am
Edited by Kip Carter Nov 17, 2005 12:38 am
I looked on the Search tool, but I couldn't find a whole thread regarding this subject - what is everyone's favourite quote(s) in Harry Potter? I thought this was a great thread idea, but feel free to correct me if I am wrong.

My favourite quotes come from Dumbledore and Ron! Two completely different characters - one wise the other slightly immature yet very funny!

What about your favourite quote(s)?

<|Surprised)



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timrew - Oct 25, 2003 12:32 am (#1 of 331)

There are so many; but one of my favourites from OOP is from Phineas Nigellus, when he says after Dumbledore's escape....

“You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts....but you cannot deny he's got style.... “



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Neville Longbottom - Oct 25, 2003 1:20 am (#2 of 331)

These are two of my favourites:

“Ministry of Magic? People like you in the government? Oh, that explains everything, everything, no wonder the country's going to the dogs.” (Vernon Dursley)

“And Professor Trelawney broke into hysterical sobs during Divination and announced to a startled class, and a very disapproving Umbridge, that Harry was not going to suffer an early death after all, but would live to a ripe old age, become Minister for Magic and have twelve children.”



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Weeny Owl - Oct 25, 2003 2:08 am (#3 of 331)
Edited Oct 25, 2003 3:08 am

“Oh look at the weeny owl! Isn't he cute?”

“Twitchy little ferret, aren't you, Malfoy?”



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J-D - Oct 25, 2003 3:01 am (#4 of 331)

Wow great idea, my favorites are from the movies, but I'll stick with the books for now. How about Fred and George "Yeah Warrington just tried to do us 5 minutes ago" "What do you mean tried.."



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Jesspy - Oct 25, 2003 3:27 am (#5 of 331)

“Who are we, the next door neighbours?”

“emotional capacity of a teaspoon”

“a peck, a pack of owls”



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popkin - Oct 25, 2003 4:51 am (#6 of 331)

My son says this is his favorite: "Accio brains!"



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J-D - Oct 25, 2003 4:55 am (#7 of 331)

You have to add some Gilderoy "It's hard to believe, but when I was your age I was just as big of a no-name as you. I mean some people have heard of you, all that business with he-who-must-not-be-named. I know I know It's not as good as winning witch weekly's most charming smile award 5 times in a row, but it's a start harry it's a start."



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Lumos* - Oct 25, 2003 5:03 am (#8 of 331)

Yes J-D definitely Gilderoy, he always makes me laugh!

I'm happy to see this thread going so well Smile

<|Surprised)


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Madame Librarian - Oct 25, 2003 5:09 am (#9 of 331)
Edited Oct 25, 2003 6:09 am

PoA, ch. 7, the very last line. Hermione complaining that she didn't have her turn at dealing with the Boggart in Lupin's DADA class:

“What would it have been for you?” said Ron, sniggering. "A piece of homework that only got nine out of ten?"

Ciao. Barb


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Catherine - Oct 25, 2003 5:15 am (#10 of 331)

“Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?”
and

“Accio Brooms!”

and

"Well, hello, Peter."


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zelmia - Oct 25, 2003 10:48 am (#11 of 331)
Edited Oct 25, 2003 11:51 am

“Who's Cedric? Your boyfriend?”


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J-D - Oct 25, 2003 1:06 pm (#12 of 331)

Yeah, we have to add some Dudley, How about in book 2 "You can't use magic, you'll get expelled, you won’t have anywhere to go, you haven't got any friends to take you."


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Lumos* - Oct 25, 2003 7:08 pm (#13 of 331)

My favourite quote in Chamber of Secrets was '...the first person to ask Snape how to make a love potion would be force-fed poison'

<|Surprised)

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Rich - Oct 25, 2003 10:49 pm (#14 of 331)

Pretty much the whole Careers Advice Chapter but this in particular, when Umbridge keeps 'coughing':

“May I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?”



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HR]Hem Hem - Oct 26, 2003 9:50 am (#15 of 331)

If you enjoy reading favorite lines, here's the link to the "Favorite Lines" folder from our first ezboard forum: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Here's some of the highlights, if you don't mind a nice long list:

“Journey all right, Harry?” Bill called... "Mad-Eye didn't make you come via Greenland, then?"

“Ron had just made Harry feel better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up and realize that he had been describing his examiner's reflection.”

“It unscrews the other way.”

'Well, usually when a person shakes their head,' --- they mean "no". So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign-language as yet unknown to humans -'

'I should have made my meaning plainer,' --- 'He has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.'

“Well, well, well...Patronus Potter.”

“Harry, you are worse than Ron..... Well, no, you're not.”

“Oh Ron how wonderful!! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!!!
What are Fred and I? The next-door neighbors?”

Harry's Visitor's Tag: Harry Potter Rescue Mission

“No...not exactly...More...wondering...I suppose we're doing the right thing...I think...aren't we?”

Harry and Ron looked at each other.
“Well, that clears that up,” said Ron. "It would've been really annoying if you hadn't explained yourself properly."

And Harry's interpretation of Ron's quidditch dream: "Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something."



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::StinkerBell:: - Oct 26, 2003 10:31 am (#16 of 331)

“I know what it means......There’s going to be some fog tonight..... Ahhhh Harry....When Mars and Venus cross paths, It means a midget in glasses will be born..... I apologise for the use of "midget." In normal conversation, I never use that word.......



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Hermionefan(#1) - Oct 26, 2003 3:48 pm (#17 of 331)

Anything by Fred and George- also anything by Harry to Dudley.

I don't remember this one exactly- but it's something like "I see you don't have your initials on your sweater- guess Mum thinks you can remember your name. Don't know why she bothered with us- We know our names are Gred and Forge." (Correct me if I'm wrong, please)

Dudley: "Not this brave at night, are you?" Harry: "This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this." Dudley: "I mean when you're in bed!" Harry: "What d'you mean, I'm not brave in bed? What- am I supposed to be frightened of pillows or something?"

Fred, George and Ginny were doing a kind of war dance to a chant that went "He got off, he got off, he got off-"

Fred: "You don't mind if we don't kiss you, do you, do you Ron?" George: "We could curtsy, if you like."

Luna: "You're Harry Potter." Harry: "I know I am."

“... Europa's covered in ice, not mice... “

Umbridge: "I was just wondering, Professor, whether you received my note telling you the date and time of your inspec-" McGonagall: "Obviously I received it, or I would have asked you what you are doing in my classroom."

“Er- why was Filch sniffing you?”

I suppose you'll notice I'm attracted to comedies.



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Denise P. - Oct 26, 2003 4:55 pm (#18 of 331)
Edited Oct 26, 2003 5:56 pm

Mine is not a line spoken but a short part that has me dissolve into a fit of giggles everytime I read it. This is in Chapter 30, discussing Umbridge's students using the Skiving Snackboxes.

‘After putting four successive classes in detention and failing to discover their secret she was forced to give up and allow the bleeding, swooning, sweating, and vomiting students to leave her classes in droves.’



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Jesspy - Oct 26, 2003 6:15 pm (#19 of 331)

Cannot remember the exact quote

MEM to Veron, "what you are unaware of Dursley would fill several books". Something like that anyway.



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A-is-for-Amy - Oct 27, 2003 12:18 pm (#20 of 331)

Sorry, but mine is from the movie, I can't remember if it was in the books. It's Filch, "God I miss the screamin'"



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Peregrine - Oct 27, 2003 12:50 pm (#21 of 331)

“Chicken!” From GoF when HRH visit Sirius in the cave. For some reason that makes me laugh and laugh…

“Kreacher wasn’t quite as devoted to him as to my mother, but I still caught him snogging a pair of my father’s old trousers last week.”

And of course the whole, brilliant, Marauder’s Map scene (which is probably too long to post in its entirety):

“Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.”
“Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.”
“Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.”
“Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”



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Catherine - Oct 27, 2003 12:54 pm (#22 of 331)

Amy Alpin,

I think that was one of the funny lines they added to the movies, but you are right, it's so great! I also like Filch's movie line from CoS, "I want to see some punishment"

But I'd better leave it at that, and just finish up with Filch's line from OotP: "Approval for whipping...Approval for whipping..."



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popkin - Oct 27, 2003 2:07 pm (#23 of 331)

Around here, the line we seem to repeat the most is "Mars is bright tonight." Not too exciting, I know, but something about it stuck.



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J-D - Oct 27, 2003 3:04 pm (#24 of 331)

‘Boom they knocked again. Dudley jerked awake. “Where’s the cannon?” he said stupidly.’

He always makes me laugh



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Jesspy - Oct 27, 2003 5:15 pm (#25 of 331)

When Hermione calls Ron "an insensitive wart" in OOP



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mischa fan - Oct 27, 2003 10:38 pm (#26 of 331)

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix chapter 29:

“Fred looked across the hall at the poltergeist bobbing on his level above the crowd.

‘Give her hell from us, Peeves.’

And Peeves, whom Harry had never seen take an order from a student before, swept his belled hat from his head and sprang to a salute as Fred and George wheeled about to tumultuous applause from the students below and sped out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset.”



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Emily - Oct 28, 2003 5:49 pm (#27 of 331)

(About Snape)

“Maybe he's ill,” said Ron hopefully
“Maybe he's left,” said Harry, "because he missed out on the Defense Against the Dark Arts job again!"
‘Or he might have been sacked!” said Ron enthusiastically. "I mean, everyone hates him-"
“Or maybe,” said a very cold voice right behind them, "he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train."
Harry spun around. There, his black robe rippling in a cold breeze, stood Severus Snape.

U.S. edition, page 78, chapter 5, CoS

And everyone wonders why Snape hates Harry and Ron...



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::StinkerBell:: - Oct 28, 2003 7:59 pm (#28 of 331)

Blimey!



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Blast - Oct 29, 2003 2:32 pm (#29 of 331)

From Wood: “Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch on it first.” Wood shook his head in disbelief. “Honestly, the way she was yelling at me...you'd think I'd said something terrible.”



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Blast - Oct 31, 2003 1:08 am (#30 of 331)

Mr. Weasley “Merlin's beard!”



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Mrs. Lovegood - Oct 31, 2003 1:31 pm (#31 of 331)

Ron, after listening to Hermione's explanation of Cho's feelings: "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."

Harry: "That's what they should teach us here . . . how girls' brains work . . . it'd be more useful than Divination, anyway. . . ."

Hermione, speaking about Ginny: "She's been breaking into your broom shed in the garden since the age of six and taking each of your brooms out in turn when you weren't looking."

“You can't tell me you've stopped having funny dreams,” Hermione said now, "because Ron told me last night you were muttering in your sleep again. . . ." Harry threw Ron a furious look. Ron had the grace to look ashamed of himself.

He [Harry] also suspected that part of his mind -- the part that often spoke in Hermione's voice -- now felt guilty on the occasions it strayed down that corridor ending in the black door, and sought to wake him before he could reach journey's end.

“Don't put your wand there, boy!” roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!" "Who d'you know who's lost a buttock?" the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly. "Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!" growled Mad-Eye. "Elementary wand safety, no one bothers about it anymore. . . ."

There were still deep welts on his [Ron's] forearms where the brain's tentacles had wrapped around him. According to Madam Pomfrey, thoughts could leave deeper scarring than almost anything else, though since she had started applying copious amounts of Dr. Ubbly's Oblivious Unction, there seemed to be some improvement.

“Well, Flitwick's got rid of Fred and George's swamp,” said Ginny. "He did it in about three seconds. But he left a tiny patch under the window and he's roped it off --" "Why?" said Hermione, looking startled. "Oh, he just says it was a really good bit of magic," said Ginny, shrugging.

“I was afraid of death,” said Nick. "I chose to remain behind. I sometimes wonder whether I oughtn't to have. . . . Well, that is neither here nor there. . . . In fact, I am neither here nor there. . . ."

and two that aren't particularly funny:

He was -- he had always been -- a marked man. It was just that he had never really understood what that meant. . . ."

And the one that most made me want to read book 6:

Harry imagined sitting in his bedroom in Privet Drive in six weeks' time, waiting for his O.W.L. results.

I hope it was okay to post all of these.



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::StinkerBell:: - Oct 31, 2003 2:53 pm (#32 of 331)

Who's lost their Buttocks before? (Sorry, I love that)



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Choices - Nov 3, 2003 10:03 am (#33 of 331)

One of my favorites is from the movie - not in the book - but it makes me laugh - it's when Harry, Ron and Lockhart are in the beginning of the Chamber of Secrets and Lockhart faints and Ron says, "Heart of a lion, that one".



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Doris Crockford - Nov 3, 2003 1:56 pm (#34 of 331)

When Harry gets to Grimmauld Place: "Panting slightly and sweeping his long dark hair out of his eyes, Harry's godfather Sirius turned to face him. 'Hello, Harry,' he said grimly, 'I see you've met my mother.'

Tonks: "My Head of House said I lacked certain necessary qualities...like the ability to behave myself."



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sowmya aras - Nov 5, 2003 8:03 am (#35 of 331)
Edited by Denise P. Nov 5, 2003 7:14 pm

my favourites are "give her hell from us, peeves" FRED

“Who are we next door neighbours?” FRED or GEORGE

“Oh Ronny!” MRS. WEASLEY

“It unscrews the other way,” MINERVA

“I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books Dursley,” MOODY
"- and make no mistake, we'll hear about it" LUPIN

I love that cool calm collected tone of Lupin's which still has the intended effect on the Dursleys

I would tell you more but I can't remember any more at this point.



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Madam Pince - Nov 5, 2003 11:50 pm (#36 of 331)

Hem-Hem, thanks for the link to the "old" quotes -- these are all so great and I so enjoy reading them! It's like "Cliff's Notes" on the HP series, almost. As someone said, though, if we keep it up we'll just have re-written the whole thing! What a great way to wax nostalgic about our favorite scenes.

I have three movie ones from Sorceror's Stone--

Hermione:(rolling eyes after Harry takes off after Draco on broom) "WHAT an idiot!"

Mr. Ollivander: "Apparently not!"

Oliver Wood: "Um, don't really remember. Took a hit to the head with a bludger two minutes in...woke up in hospital a week later."

And one movie one from Chamber of Secrets--

Draco to Goyle: "Why are you wearing glasses?" Goyle: "Um...reading." Draco: "Reading? I didn't know you could read."



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Susurro Notities - Nov 6, 2003 7:23 pm (#37 of 331)

Harry Looked up at him and saw a tear trickling down Dumbledore's face into his long silver beard. (OoP, p.844, US)

“Did things with a wand I'd never seen before...” (OoP, p.711, US)



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sew4funinme - Nov 7, 2003 7:05 pm (#38 of 331)

From SS - Ron to Hermione "Are you a witch or not?"

From GOF - Ron to Hermione "You are a girl"



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freshwater - Nov 10, 2003 6:48 am (#39 of 331)

Can't believe no one's listed this one yet: (to the best of my memory)

Ron: (with eyes closed and an uplifted expression on his face) "Don't talk to me."
H/H: "Why not?"
Ron: "Because I want to fix that in my mind forever: Draco Malfoy, the amazing, bouncing ferret!"
Hermione: (says something)
Ron: (opening his eyes) "Hermione, you're ruining the best moment of my life!"

Mischa fan, I love that one, too!



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MoaningMyrtle101 - Nov 10, 2003 8:55 pm (#40 of 331)
Edited by Nov 10, 2003 8:58 pm

I don't have the book with me but I loved it when Fred and George were laughing at the fact that the rest of the school thought Harry was a terrible muggle-born murderer and said something to the effect of, "He can't talk now, he's off to have a cup of tea with his fanged servant" and "Make room, seriously evil wizard coming through!"

Also, when I read Vernon's telephone conversation with Ron in PoA I couldn't stop laughing.

And, I liked the description of Crookshanks' face looking "as though he had run headlong into a brick wall" or something like that. Again, I don't have the book with me.



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Rich - Nov 10, 2003 11:00 pm (#41 of 331)
Edited by Nov 10, 2003 11:00 pm

Not very funny but something along the lines of:

“It's like losing a knut and finding a galleon” DD

When Fudge is going to take DD in.



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Denice - Nov 19, 2003 2:05 am (#42 of 331)

“You could have been killed, or worse, expelled!” (Hermione, of course!)



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Killian - Nov 20, 2003 6:12 pm (#43 of 331)

My favorite, already listed:

“You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts . . . but you cannot deny he's got style . . . “

“She wants a new angle, Hagrid,” said Ron wisely as he shelled salamander eggs. "You were supposed to say Harry's a mad delinquent!"

One of my favorite conversations:

“Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?”
“Yes,” said Harry.
“That you called her a liar?”
“Yes.”
“You told her He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back?”
“Yes.”
Professor McGonagall sat down behind her desk, watching Harry closely. Then she said, "Have a biscuit, Potter."

Fred and George say:
“Give her hell from us, Peeves.”

“Anyway, we've decided we don't care about getting into trouble anymore.”
“Have you ever?” asked Hermione.
'Course we have,” said George. "Never been expelled, have we?"
“We've always known when to draw the line,” said Fred.
“We might have put a toe across it occasionally,” said George.
“But we've always stopped short of causing real mayhem,” said George.
“But now?” said Ron tentatively.
“Well now—“ said George.
“--what with Dumbledore gone—“ said Fred.
“--we reckon a bit of mayhem—“ said George.
“--is exactly what our new head deserves,” said Fred.

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down hallways and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can--I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.” (Lily is so awesome!)

“Listening to the news! Again?”
“Well, it changes every day, you see,” said Harry.

One from the movies:
Hermione:"That's totally barbaric!"
Ron: "That's wizards' chess!"

And finally:
“Excellent,” said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry--"
“They won't,” said Harry.
“That you're safe—“
“That'll just depress them.”
“--and you'll see them next summer.”
“Do I have to?”

I know, I know, I put up a lot . . . I always liked to babble, though.



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Ladybug220 - Nov 20, 2003 7:25 pm (#44 of 331)
Edited by Nov 20, 2003 7:26 pm

to Stan on the Knight Bus
“If you shout his name I will curse you into oblivion,” muttered Tonks menacingly.



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coolbeans3131 - Nov 24, 2003 6:41 pm (#45 of 331)

Dudley- "Pass the frying pan."
Harry- "You've forgotten the magic word."

Uncle Vernon- "Enough---effing---owls..."

Also when Harry thought Cho was a human hosepipe.



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Hermionefan(#1) - Dec 6, 2003 8:05 am (#46 of 331)

“We're going out,“ (Vernon) said.
“Sorry?”
“We--that is to say, your aunt, Dudley, and I--are going out.”
“Fine,” said Harry dully, looking back at the ceiling.
“You are not to leave your bedroom while we are away.”
“Okay.”
“You are not to touch the television, the stereo, or any of our possessions.”
“Right.”
“You are not to steal food from the fridge.”
“Okay.”
“I am going to lock your door.”
“You do that.”



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Little Ginny - Dec 7, 2003 12:40 pm (#47 of 331)

“I hope you're well,” said Percy pompously, shaking hands. It was rather like being introduced to the mayor.[...]
“Harry!” said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy-"
“Marvelous,” said George, pushing Fred away and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing." [...]
“Mum!” said Fred, as though he'd only just spotted her, and seized her hand, too. "How really corking to see you-"

And of course, my all-time favourite from Lockhart:
“I mean, some people have already heard about you, haven't they? all that business with He Who Must Not Be Named. I mean, it's not as good as winning Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award five times in a row, but it's a start, Harry, it's a start!” (I know that was already mentioned, but I couldn't resist. I like quoting that one at any time, whether suitable or not. My best friend knows it as well now, I said it so very often)



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Brandon Christopher - Dec 10, 2003 10:05 am (#48 of 331)

Oh come on people, you are forgetting the best line ever! Let me pull out CoS so I don't botch it.

“Your sons flew that car to Harry's house and back last night?” shouted Mrs. Weasley. "What do you have to say about that, eh?"
“Did you really?” said Mr. Weasly eagerly. ”Did it go all right? I - I mean," he faltered as sparks flew from Mrs. Weasley's eyes, "that - that was very wrong, boys - very wrong indeed..." Cos p.39

Come on, we can all picture that in our minds so vividly, can't we?



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Brandon Christopher - Dec 11, 2003 1:03 pm (#49 of 331)

Oh oh... I forgot the best part in OoP. When Harry is pardoned by the Wizengamot and comes home (Grimmauld place) to an ecstatic Fred, George, and Ginny:

“HE GOT OFF, HE GOT OFF, HE GOT OFF—“

“SHUT UP!” roared Mrs. Weasley

And they had a little dance to go with it too.



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Hermionefan(#1) - Dec 11, 2003 6:08 pm (#50 of 331)

Great quotes, Brandon, I can't believe I never thought of those.


Last edited by Lady Arabella on Fri Jul 29, 2011 5:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post  Lady Arabella on Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:05 pm


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Brandon Christopher - Dec 11, 2003 7:18 pm (#51 of 331)

Every time I read that part in CoS I nearly die laughing! And I grin like crazy every time I read that part in OoP.

One question for you, Hermionefan(#1) How many Hermione pics do you have? It seems like every time I see you I swear you have a new Avatar.


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shepherdess - Dec 11, 2003 10:36 pm (#52 of 331)

Be careful not to get confused; she's not the only one with Hermione avatars.


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Brandon Christopher - Dec 11, 2003 11:09 pm (#53 of 331)

I know, but I also thought that I remembered her saying something before about multiple pictures.

Of course I could have the wrong person, maybe I had another brain fart!


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shepherdess - Dec 11, 2003 11:17 pm (#54 of 331)

She may very well have been the one who said that.


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Brandon Christopher - Dec 12, 2003 11:33 am (#55 of 331)

I hope so, otherwise I sound like an idiot, (yet again.)



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Hermionefan(#1) - Dec 13, 2003 8:34 am (#56 of 331)

Yes Brandon, I have lots of Hermione pictures now that I've figured out how to size them (and I've finally got the pic. I've been looking for!).


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Brandon Christopher - Dec 13, 2003 11:35 am (#57 of 331)

Yay! I knew that I wasn't going insane!



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Nathaniel Shafer - Dec 18, 2003 2:07 am (#58 of 331)

Great quotes everyone! Smile

Two of my favorites not yet mentioned: "The Minister was just telling me about your lucky escape, Potter," drawled Mr. Malfoy. "Quite astonishing, the way you continue to wriggle out of very tight holes. . . . Snakelike, in fact . . ."
Yeah, said Harry, "yeah, I'm good at escaping. . . ."

and

“Scared?” muttered Malfoy, so that Lockhart couldn't hear him.
“You wish,” said Harry out of the corner of his mouth.


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Madam Pince - Dec 18, 2003 12:05 pm (#59 of 331)

Ooooooooo, Nathaniel, I hadn't recalled that first one. So Lucius observes that Harry is snakelike, does he? Hmmmmmm.... that's quite interesting. I'll have to give that some thought. Could it be that Lucius knows some past history that we don't? It would be just like him to drop a snide little clue, too. This whole thing about Harry being a parselmouth has always bothered me a little. Our little Harry may be more "sly" (-therin) than we think....


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Nox NotteTorrente - Dec 19, 2003 2:44 am (#60 of 331)

Marauder5, that is one of my faves too (the Snape bit).

And "We'll send you a Hogwarts' toilet seat!"

“Still got both buttocks?” (or somesuch. Books AWOL)



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boop - Dec 22, 2003 3:55 am (#61 of 331)

Ron -- "So Dobby stopped us from getting on the train and broke your arm...." He shook his head. "You know what, Harry? If he doesn't stop trying to save your life he's going to kill you."


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Julia. - Dec 29, 2003 11:55 pm (#62 of 331)

Forgive me, Remus' said Black. 'Not at all Padfoot, old friend,' said Lupin who was now rolling up his sleeves. 'And you will in turn forgive me for believing you were the spy?' 'Of course,' said Black, and the ghost of a grin flitted across his gaunt face. 'Shall we kill him together?' 'Yes, I think so.' Smile

“You look in excellent health to me Potter, so you’ll will excuse me if I don't let you off homework today. I assure you that if you die, you need not hand it in.” McGonnagall, of course

“Well, I think Potter and his friends ought to have fifty points apiece for alerting the world to the return of You -Know Who! What say you, Professor Snape?” also McGonnagall

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA?!” good old Molly Weasley



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Madam Pince - Dec 31, 2003 3:09 pm (#63 of 331)

Just ran across another one last night that always cracks me up:

From PoA -- (Harry and Dumbledore discussing Trelawny):

“Yes...her voice went all deep and her eyes rolled and she said...she said Voldemort's servant was going to set out to return to him before midnight...She said the servant would help him come back to power.” Harry stared up at Dumbledore. "And then she sort of became normal again, and she couldn't remember anything she'd said. Was it -- was she making a real prediction?"

Dumbledore looked mildly impressed.

“Do you know, Harry, I think she might have been.” he said thoughtfully. "Who'd have thought it? That brings her total of real predictions up to two. I should offer her a pay raise..."


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Marie E. - Jan 1, 2004 10:33 am (#64 of 331)

From POA: "He's friends with that dog," said Harry grimly.

The italics are mine. For some reason that line makes me giggle. Dog, grimly, heehee.


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Emily - Jan 19, 2004 3:54 pm (#65 of 331)

Julia- could you please tell me what book the Mrs. Weasley quote is from? I just can't remember it. Thanks!


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Julia. - Jan 19, 2004 5:49 pm (#66 of 331)

Sure Marauder5. It's in OoP, chapter 23, "Christmas on the Closed Ward," pg. 507 American.


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SarcasticGinny - Jan 27, 2004 12:23 pm (#67 of 331)

Hermione: “I've read chapter two.”
Umbridge: ‘Then proceed to chapter three.”
Hermione: “I've read that too. I've read the whole book.”

Fudge: “Then you HAVE been plotting against me!” Dumbledore (cheerfully): “That's right.”

McGonagall: “Are you quite sure you wouldn't like a cough drop, Dolores?”

and

McGonagall: “I should have made my meaning plainer. He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.” (zing! I love that scene!)

Ginny: “Damn, I forgot!” (chocolate in the library)

Grawp: “HERMY. WHERE HAGGER?”

and I also like "Accio Brains!"


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Acceber - Jan 31, 2004 11:34 am (#68 of 331)

There are soooo many, but one of my favorites from OoP is "Ron's carefully ruffled hair seemed to wilt with disappointment." Also Hermione, Fred and George's exchange in OoP13 always cracks me up:

“If you don't stop doing it, I'm going to-“ (Hermione)
“Put us in detention?” said Fred in an I'd-like-to-see-you-try voice.
“Make us write lines?” said George, smirking.
“...No," she said,” her voice quivering with anger, "but I will write to your mother."

There are so many more, like Fred and George's little exchanges with each other, anything from McGonagall to Umbridge, and Harry and Dudley's exchange in the beginning of OoP.


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Joanna S Lupin - Jan 31, 2004 4:36 pm (#69 of 331)

'Have a biscuit'-just can't help laughing


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Luanee - Feb 3, 2004 11:16 pm (#70 of 331)

This part is from OoP, after Harry and Ron read Percy's letter:

'Well,' he (Harry) said, trying to sound as though he found the whole thing a joke, 'if you want to — er — what is it?' — he checked Percy's letter — 'Oh yeah — "sever ties" with me, I swear I won't get violent.'


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Luanee - Feb 4, 2004 9:37 pm (#71 of 331)

“Do not trust anything that can think for itself if you cannot see where it keeps its brains.”

CONSTANT VIGILANCE !!


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Czarina - Feb 12, 2004 3:52 pm (#72 of 331)

When Ron has activated the anti-boys charm on the stairs to the girls' dormitory:
Harry: "I guess we're not allowed in the girls' dormitories."


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Luanee - Feb 12, 2004 4:44 pm (#73 of 331)

My sister's contributions:

“I assure you that if you die, you need not hand it (homework) in,: McGonagall to Harry after Trelawny's prediction of his death.

“Of course, he might have crawled into the airing cupboard and died.....but I mustn’t get my hopes up.” Sirius commenting on Kreacher.

“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” Dumbledore’s famous quote to Harry.


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MrsGump - Feb 20, 2004 8:47 am (#74 of 331)

Don't let the Muggles get you down! Ron, letter to Harry, PoA


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zelmia - Feb 20, 2004 9:19 pm (#75 of 331)

Who's Cedric? Your boyfriend? [I think I might have put this up already. Oh well.]


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Jo S - Feb 21, 2004 11:31 pm (#76 of 331)

My absolute favourite is GoF at the World cup, when HRH are lining up to get water from a tap. Archie, an older wizard is wearing a flowery nightie, and the MOM man is trying to get him to wear pants:

“ . . .just put them on, Archie, there’s a good chap, you can’t walk around like that, the muggle on the gates already getting suspicious-“ "I bought them at a muggle shop" said the old wizard stubbornly "muggles wear them". "Muggle WOMEN wear them Archie not the men, they wear these" said the ministry wizard brandishing the pinstriped trousers. "I’m not putting them on" said old Archie in indignation " I like a nice healthy breeze around my privates, thanks"

Every time I read that I just crack up!


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Dr Filibuster - Feb 22, 2004 3:11 am (#77 of 331)

That quote was on the very first page I ever read of Harry Potter. My friend's 6 year old asked me to read to him. He was too young for GoF but his mum had bought all the books for when he was ready.

I snorted with laughter when I read it, and again when he asked, "what are privates?

I like, "I'm worth twelve of you Malfoy." Yeah, go for it Nev!


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The giant squid - Feb 26, 2004 1:03 am (#78 of 331)

Can't remember if this is in the book or just the movie, but...

“Alas...Earwax.”


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Luanee - Feb 26, 2004 10:59 pm (#79 of 331)

Giant squid, it's in the book (PS page 218), and one of my favourites too...


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The giant squid - Feb 27, 2004 6:00 am (#80 of 331)

Thanks, Luanee. I had just re-watched the movies so it was fresh in my mind. I just love Harris' delivery of it, with a simple shrug of acceptance. Smile


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Rod Beecham - Mar 7, 2004 2:03 am (#81 of 331)

Ah, what a marvelous thread this is! Thanks, everyone!

My own favourite, surprisingly, comes from GoF. I say 'surprisingly' because I wasn't laughing too much when I read GoF and OoP: most of the regular, explosive chuckling came while reading the first three.

Anyway, here it is:

'Let's try some simple spellbooks, then,' said Harry, throwing aside 'Men Who Love Dragons Too Much'.

That title sent me into hysterics!


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Kirsti Bane - Mar 19, 2004 3:59 am (#82 of 331)

Two words: “Tripe, Sybil?”


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DJ Evans - Apr 2, 2004 8:19 pm (#83 of 331)

Favorite Line: Draco Malfoy speaking to Goyle, “Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backward.” (CoS, US, Pg: 224)


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Accio Sirius - Apr 3, 2004 9:58 am (#84 of 331)

Great thread. I know I will think of more later, but the first three that come to mind are:

“Welcome to a new Year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few works. And they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!”---Dumbledore in SS/PS

I love that because it is the first time Harry sees Dumbledore after hearing how great he is and he says this ridiculous stuff. The others are:

“Hello, Harry,” he said grimly, "I see you've met my mother."

“He's not your son,” said Sirius quietly.

From OoP.


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prof sprout - Apr 3, 2004 7:24 pm (#85 of 331)

I don't remember if this is from the book or just the movie. Draco to Goyle "Read, I didn't know you could read"

And of course, "It turns the other way"


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The giant squid - Apr 3, 2004 10:48 pm (#86 of 331)

“Welcome to a new Year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few works. And they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!”---Dumbledore in SS/PS

Accio, I actually used that quote at my wedding reception! I was told to say "a few words" after my best man's speech, and that's what immediately popped to mind. Of course, then I had to continue on for all the non-Pottys... Smile

--Mike


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Marie E. - Apr 3, 2004 11:15 pm (#87 of 331)
I already told this story on another thread, sorry Mike. I can't remember if it was You know you're a Lexicon fan...or the Chat and Greetings thread.

Um, favorite quote-"Tripe, Sibyl?".


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Sconie Girl - Apr 5, 2004 12:48 pm (#88 of 331)

Favorite Quote from OoP Near the end where Harry runs into Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle.

Malfoy: "You're dead!"
Harry: "Funny, you think I wouldn't be walking around."

(It's pretty close, just listened to it on CD and so I don't have book to get exact quote)


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Accio Sirius - Apr 5, 2004 1:22 pm (#89 of 331)

Giant Squid--

Sounds like a fun wedding!! And a better speech than most of the ones you hear at those events. Kudos to you for using it!


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The giant squid - Apr 5, 2004 10:34 pm (#90 of 331)
I already told this story on another thread, sorry Mike. I can't remember if it was You know you're a Lexicon fan...or the Chat and Greetings thread. Marie E.

It was the Chat and Greetings thread...and thank you so much for choosing a thread I hadn't read in over a month (had to scroll back through about 30 pages to find out no one responded...). Wink

Since I'm in the middle of re-reading the series, I've got new favorite quotes popping up all the time. The latest is (from GoF), "Dudley had reached roughly the size and weight of a young killer whale."

Of course, "Gerroffme!" is a good all-purpose quote as well. Smile

--Mike


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Mare - Apr 5, 2004 11:18 pm (#91 of 331)

You know Marie, I read the replies to your post about something on your brother’s wedding, but I never got/could find the point, so I'm glad it got repeated!

And non-potties at your wedding? Shouldn't you have used "pottie" as a criteria?


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The giant squid - Apr 7, 2004 2:25 am (#92 of 331)

And non-potties at your wedding? Shouldn't you have used "pottie" as a criteria?

We haven't quite converted the whole family yet, but we're working on it. Wink


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prof sprout - Apr 7, 2004 7:00 am (#93 of 331)

It is a great way to convert them. Brain washing them hidden inside a wedding reception. I think that would be funny if my fiancé said that at our wedding, but he's not a Potteraholic yet, I'm working on it though. I won't tell him any of the differences of the books verses the movies. I'm going to make him read them this summer. Hopefully.


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Romana - Apr 14, 2004 6:45 am (#94 of 331)

I like this Snape quote from OoTP, which is changed slightly as I don't have the book in front of me.

Umbridge: “I would like some more Veritaserum, Professor Snape.”
Snape: “But I gave you my last bottle to interrogate Potter. I told you three drops would be enough, surely you didn't use it all?”
Umbridge (blushing): “But you can make some more?”
Snape: Certainly, I'll take a month.

I like that bit, the first time I read it, I was in fits of laughter!


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Joanna S Lupin - Apr 14, 2004 10:54 am (#95 of 331)
Edited by Denise P. Apr 14, 2004 1:32 pm

Could you believe that I was constantly wondering when McGonagall says: “It unscrews the other way?” and I couldn't figure out what this quote is about, how thick I must be you think? Well, perhaps I am, but at last (4th reread)I found it!

Minerva you're brilliant! “Have a biscuit.”


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draco all the way - Apr 16, 2004 8:35 pm (#96 of 331)
Edited Apr 16, 2004 9:36 pm

Do you guys realize that at the rate that you're going you will probably have the entire HP series down on this thread in a little while? Oh well, I guess it's hard to pick the best quotes when the entire book is a masterpiece!

'Have a biscuit, Potter.' wonder why she was so persistent about the biscuits though? Something to think about, you think?

'And lucky Harry doesn't lose his head in a crisis- "there's no wood", honestly .'

And in the CoS movie I love the way Ron says "I'm going to be a knight!.' I don't know if that's the way J.K.R intended the line to sound but it very dramatic and I always rewind to hear at least 3 times.


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freshwater - Apr 16, 2004 10:36 pm (#97 of 331)
Edited Apr 16, 2004 11:40 pm

I suppose this example is sort of 'off-topic' because it's from a movie, not a book, and it isn't even in the movie, but on the additional cuts. On disc 2 of CoS there are comments from the actors about making the movie (click on 'Behind the Scenes', then 'interviews with actors'--I think--and then 'students'....it's one of the scenes answering the question 'was it fun making the movie?"). I love the one that shows Dan, Rupert and Emma standing around between takes, and Emma is teasing that she will make herself appear taller than Dan. He responds in a cute and funny way that still reveals he would be embarrassed to be the shortest of the three....a very sweet bit of real conversation among the 3 kids.

Emma: “I am taller than you, or I will make myself taller than you.”
Dan: “Okay...(grinning) Why are you so determined to embarrass me?”
Emma: “I'm not determined to embarrass you, I'm determined to be taller than you are!”
Dan: “Same thing!”

Insert Ron's infectious laughter between each statement and you have a snippet that always makes me laugh.


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Sherbie Lemon - Apr 18, 2004 1:45 pm (#98 of 331)
Edited Apr 18, 2004 2:45 pm

I'm re-re-re-re-re-re-rereading GoF and found two passages that I just adore:

‘Mad-Eye Moody?’ said George thoughtfully, spreading marmalade on his toast. 'Isn't he that nutter-'
'Your father thinks very highly of Mad-Eye Moody,' said Mrs. Weasley sternly.
'Yeah, well, Dad collects plugs, doesn't he?' said Fred quietly as Mrs. Weasley left the room. 'Birds of a feather...’

“I am not joking, Mr. Weasley,' he said, 'though now that you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag, and a leprechaun who all go into a bar...'

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat loudly.

'Er - but maybe this is not the time...no...' said Dumbledore, 'where was I?'

I always laugh when I read those scenes.

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Czarina - Apr 19, 2004 6:39 am (#99 of 331)

But what is the joke?


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draco all the way - Apr 19, 2004 6:47 am (#100 of 331)
Edited Apr 19, 2004 7:48 am

I feel that will remain one of life's intriguing mysteries!

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timrew - Apr 19, 2004 9:29 am (#101 of 331)

A troll, a hag, and a leprechaun all go into a bar. The hag says, "Whose round?"; and the leprechaun points at the troll and says, "He is!"


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freshwater - Apr 19, 2004 2:43 pm (#102 of 331)

LOL...LOL...LOL! Thanks, Timrew!


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Emily - Apr 19, 2004 3:07 pm (#103 of 331)

LOL! That's one of the many, many things that I hope JKR slips into a book somewhere. But yours is very good too, tim!


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draco all the way - Apr 20, 2004 6:02 am (#104 of 331)

OKAY... So, I guess it's not a mystery anymore. Thanks Tim! I love making everything overly dramatic if you've not noticed already. Just call me a tennage drama queen!


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timrew - Apr 20, 2004 9:32 am (#105 of 331)

BTW, I don't know if that is the joke. I just made it up!


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DJ Evans - Apr 20, 2004 4:41 pm (#106 of 331)

Tim making things up? Say it's not so?!?!?!? Thanks for the laugh, whether it was the original joke or not.

Later days, Deb


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Sherbie Lemon - Apr 21, 2004 3:38 pm (#107 of 331)

Another one of Dumbledore's I love:
“My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms on a goat. It was all over the papers, but did Aberforth hide? No, he did not! He held his head high and went about his business as usual! Of course, I'm not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery... “


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Lars Smedberg - May 1, 2004 8:32 am (#108 of 331)

Since I only have access to "Order of the Phoenix" in Swedish, I can't give you the quote word-by-word, but I surely liked it very much !

In Ch. 6, Mrs. Weasly yells at Mundungus Fletcher because he has taken stolen goods to the house, and Fred says : "I like to hear Mum yell at somebody else. It's so nice for a change." Or something like that. I tried to "re-translate" the Swedish translation. But I just LOVE Fred's comment !


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megmar17anie - May 2, 2004 10:24 pm (#109 of 331)

I have the British translation with me right now and the exact translation is, "I love hearing Mum shouting at someone else, it makes such a nice change." But the one that I really love comes a little later in that section, "The idiots are letting her get into her stride. You've got to head her off early otherwise she builds up a head of steam and goes on for hours." I just thought I could help.


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Lars Smedberg - May 3, 2004 8:02 am (#110 of 331)

Thank you !


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Steve Newton - May 5, 2004 6:21 am (#111 of 331)

“Tripe, Sibyl?” is a wonderful play on words. A great pun. However, several people have mentioned "It unscrews the other way." I can't remember the context. Where does this occur?


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Julia. - May 5, 2004 7:29 am (#112 of 331)

When Professor McGonagall walking down a hallway sees Peeves trying to unscrew a Chandelier from the ceiling, and she informs the poltergeist that "It unscrews the other way."


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Denise P. - May 5, 2004 7:29 am (#113 of 331)
Edited May 5, 2004 8:29 am

It is in OoP when Peeves is creating havoc throughout Hogwarts. McGonagall is ignoring him as he is trying to unscrew a chandelier from the ceiling. As she passes him, she mutters "It unscrews the other way" I love it! (And that is paraphrased, I am sure someone will type in the exact passage)

Edit: Julia! We cross posted


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Steve Newton - May 5, 2004 8:09 am (#114 of 331)

Thanks for the information. Now I can find it.


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Tomoé - May 5, 2004 1:01 pm (#115 of 331)

Here it goes :

“None of the staff but Filch seemed to be stirring themselves to help her. Indeed, a week after Fred and George's departure Harry witnessed Professor MacGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, 'It unscrews the other way.' “(UK OoP ch.30 p.598)


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Hagsquid - May 6, 2004 9:54 am (#116 of 331)
Edited by May 6, 2004 10:56 am

When I first read GoF, there was one part of the book, where I literally got up, w00ted (I said "w00t" outloud. w00t just means "yay" or "yippie" etc. Basically I was very happy), and had to take a moment to do the happy dance before I could continue on in my book. Here it is:

(sorry this is a bit long, but I would feel dirty if I didn't include the context.)

Fudge turned back to Dumbledore. "You will now be escorted back to the Ministry, where you will be formally charged, then sent to Azkaban to await trial!"
“Ah,” said Dumbledore gently, "yes. Yes, I thought we might hit that little snag."
“Snag?” said Fudge, his voice still vibrating with joy. "I see no snag, Dumbledore!"
“Well,” said Dumbledore apologetically, "I'm afraid I do."
“Oh really?”
“Well - it's just that you seem to be labouring under the delusion that I am going to - what's the phrase? - come quietly.”

At this point, I dropped my book, and began w00ting. My friends looked at me like I'd gone mad. It remains my favorite scene to this day. When the movie is made, I'll be surprised if the theatre doesn't ignite with w00ting at this point. :-D


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draco all the way - May 7, 2004 3:31 am (#117 of 331)
Edited May 7, 2004 4:32 am

I totally understand what you mean by 'w00t'. I felt like that right after the little excerpt you so graciously donated. And I've read this so many times! But, ignore me if I'm wrong, I thought this little bit comes up in OotP!

Very suave and debonair for an old guy, isn't he? "you've got to admit he's got style." or something like that.


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Julia. - May 7, 2004 5:23 am (#118 of 331)

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but there will be much w00tage on my end!


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Hagsquid - May 7, 2004 1:14 pm (#119 of 331)

Yes, it was definately OoP. (speaking of OoP, "oops"...)

I don't know what made me say GoF. I'll blame it on a brain-dead moment.

After I read it, I was hoping to see DD kick some rears and take some names. It didn't happen, but, for a fleeting moment, I had a gleam of w00t in my eyes to see the MoM get beat down.


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Padfoot - May 7, 2004 1:34 pm (#120 of 331)

It was still cool that DD escaped and managed to talk to Harry without "the officials" knowing. I think we will see more of DD's powers in the upcoming books. More so than the hint of OotP's battle at the MoM.

Here are some of my favorite quotes: Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides. "So--after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating--" "Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall. "I mean, after that open and revolting foul--". "Jordan, I'm warning you--" "All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."
***********************

“We had to write about our hero at school Mr. Mason; I wrote about you.” -Dudley

***********************

“Fred and George, however, found all this very funny. They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through. . ."


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Mare - May 19, 2004 1:45 am (#121 of 331)
Edited May 19, 2004 2:46 am

This post was started as the thread: "Favorite humorous passages from all HP books". But I feel it fits here perfectly.

kroddy - May 19, 2004 2:36 am Professor and Librarian

Hi all--

What are some of your favorite humorous passages from any HP book?

There are some marvelously descriptive and funny passages throughout the books, and some where I've howled with laughter - the physical descriptions about the Dursleys especially - JK 'lets the vitriol flow' whenever it comes to the family we all love to hate!

Some of her lines are truly remarkable, because she'll take an element of the magical world and compare it with something really mundane in the Muggle world - for example, OoP p. 30, describing Dudley's "empty" head feeling after encountering the dementors at Little Whinging:

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia exchanged looks of utter horror. If their least favorite thing in the world was magic, closely followed by neighbors who cheated more than they did on the hosepipe ban, people who heard voices were definitely in the bottom ten.

I can't tell you how much I laughed at the "cheating more than they did at the hosepipe ban" reference - a British expression for 'water rationing' I believe. To think that the Dursleys would rate magic slightly more terrible than the fact that a neighbor was getting away with illegally extracting more water for his lawn and shrubs than them made me laugh big time.

One more.

I must tell you the most significant line for me in OoP was on page 31. I reacted pretty strongly to it - I gasped. In fact, I had to ask everyone reading the book their opinion on it once they read past page 31 (I know there's a thread on "Good Old Aunt Petunia" where people explain Petunia's involvement with the magical world) but *this* thread is about wonderfully written and funny lines, so I'm gonna put it here - Uncle Vernon starts:

‘ “And what the ruddy hell are dementors?”
“They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban,” said Aunt Petunia.
Two seconds' ringing silence followed these words and then Aunt Petunia clapped her hand over her mouth as though she had let slip a disgusting swear word.’

disgusting swear word - HA! This is a very vivid passage for me - In my mind's eye I could see Aunt Petunia's bony hands clapping the thin lips of her mouth and hiding those horsey teeth of hers!

Keep lines like these coming JK! They're priceless!


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Prefect Marcus - May 19, 2004 7:01 am (#122 of 331)

Yes, that is one of my favorite scenes from OoP, too. Here is a link to a very good fanart of it.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]


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timrew - May 19, 2004 9:17 am (#123 of 331)
Nice fanart, Marcus! But I do think that Vernon bears an uncanny resemblance to Cliffie the postman out of Cheers.


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Padfoot - May 19, 2004 9:41 am (#124 of 331)

He really does!

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Chemyst - May 28, 2004 5:48 pm (#125 of 331)
Edited May 28, 2004 6:58 pm

From SS/PS chapter two~

‘Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. ‘

(...he's trying to add 37 + 2 = ?)

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Isenduil - May 28, 2004 10:38 pm (#126 of 331)

'The leprechauns had risen into the air again, and this time, they formed a giant hand, which was making a very rude sign indeed as the veela across the field. At this, the veela lost control. Instead of dancing, they launched themselves across the field and began throwing what seemed to be handfuls of fire at the leprechauns.' (Goblet of Fire, The Quidditch World Cup, Pg. 111, US Edition)

Hehe, the image of a bunch of little leprechauns forming a hand and doing this just makes me crack up, then the veela just attacking them. Don't expect it in the movie though.


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freshwater - May 29, 2004 8:15 am (#127 of 331)

Isenduil, your post reminds me of another favorite quote, which follows the event you describe:

‘Harry saw that they didn't look remotely beautiful now. On the contrary, their (veela) faces were elongating into sharp, cruel-beaked heads, and long scaly wings were bursting from their shoulders—

“And that, boys," yelled Mr. Weasley over the tumult of the crowd below, "is why you should never go for looks alone!" ‘

p.111 & 112 of GoF, paperback, Scholastic


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sewfuninme - May 30, 2004 6:00 pm (#128 of 331)

I guess that Ron wasn't listening very well to his father, as later he expounds upon the desirability of a girl to be good looking to go to the Yule Ball.


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Erikson - Jun 5, 2004 1:38 pm (#129 of 331)

Holly crickets!!! Haven't you read Snape's worst memory?! My favourite part is there: 'Did you like question ten, Moony?' 'Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question.' 'Do you think you got all the signs?' 'Think I did. One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name is Remus Lupin.'

And this is from Ron: “And from now on I don't care if my tea-leaves spell ‘die,Ron,die,’ I'm just chucking them in the bin, where they belong.”

There are three parts that really moved me (they aren't funny, but I couldn't resist):

  • . “Remember Cedric Diggory” speech
  • The part after Sirius goes through the veil when Harry realises Sirius is gone (I almost cried like a baby)
  • Chapter The lost prophecy, especially the part with 'I don't care!' 'Oh yes you care and you care so much that you think you will die because of the pain.'(I hope I translated it well from the Romanian version.) Well, that's all...for now :-)))



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Madam Pince - Jun 8, 2004 2:27 pm (#130 of 331)

Just re-reading "PoA" after seeing the movie, and this line cracked me up:

(When Harry is in the bookstore buying his texts, and the "Monster Book of Monsters" is picking a fight with another book...)

“Stop it! Stop it!” cried the manager, poking the walking stick through the bars and knocking the books apart. "I'm never stocking them again, never! It's been bedlam! I thought we'd seen the worst when we bought two hundred copies of 'The Invisible Book of Invisibility' -- cost a fortune, and we never found them....."

Ha! Never found them! Too funny....


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Parselmouth - Jun 18, 2004 5:00 pm (#131 of 331)

Easily the funniest exchange from any of the books:

OotP (p. 163)

Ms. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's. "I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"

“What are Fred and I, next-door neighbors?” said George indignantly....


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draco all the way - Jun 19, 2004 10:39 pm (#132 of 331)

Yes! Exactly, Parselmouth, I can just see the scene in my mind's eye!


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coolbeans3131 - Jun 20, 2004 3:14 pm (#133 of 331)

Moody in GoF (about the Avada Kedavra curse):

“Not nice,” he said calmly. "Not pleasant. And there's no counter-curse. There's no blocking it. Only one known person has ever survived it, and he's sitting right in front of me."

I hope this line is in the movie!


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Isenduil - Jun 29, 2004 1:01 am (#134 of 331)

I also like this one because I hope it made Harry know how stupid he was acting when he was yelling at Ron and Hermione:

“Hello, Harry,” said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones." "You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."


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Wheezy - Jun 30, 2004 8:35 pm (#135 of 331)

One of my favorite lines is in the CoS book and movie:

“Hello,” he said. "Odd sort of place, this, isn't it? Do you live here?" --Lockhart

That part always makes me laugh!


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Ozymandias - Jun 30, 2004 11:25 pm (#136 of 331)

Pretty much anything Lockhart says cracks me up, though my favorite right now is

“I didn't learn joined-up writing for nothing!”


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The giant squid - Jul 1, 2004 3:12 am (#137 of 331)

I just found another one, from GoF (US edition PB, pg. 150 for those playing the home game):

“Hermione left the room, muttering something that sounded very much like 'Boys.' “

It's one of those lines that I don't just read, I see. Guess it comes from growing up with two sisters... Wink

Mike

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Leila 2X4B - Jul 3, 2004 7:56 pm (#138 of 331)

My favorite quotes are: PoA: “You're going to suffer but be very happy”...”you need your Inner Eye tested if you ask me"

About Wood after defeat, "Still in the showers... We think he's trying to drown himself".

In OotP "Approval for whipping...Approval for Whipping...I can do it at last....They've had it coming for years".


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Gemini12602 - Jul 9, 2004 9:29 pm (#139 of 331)

I love the "he's got style" quote :0)

I can't remember where it is, or what the exact quote is... but I believe it’s in OotP when something good happens with Harry and Cho and the narration says something like "Harry suddenly realized how pretty Hogwarts really was" or something to that effect lol. If someone knows the exact quote... put it up.


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Isenduil - Jul 9, 2004 9:42 pm (#140 of 331)
Edited Jul 9, 2004 10:43 pm

Here it is Genini12601 on page 349, Chapter 16, In the Hog's Head...

“Well,” said Hermione, smiling slightly, "she just couldn't keep her (Cho during the Hogs Head meeting) eyes off you, could she?" Harry had never before appreciated just how beautiful the village of Hogsmeade was.


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Magika - Jul 10, 2004 12:11 pm (#141 of 331)
I agree with mischa fan...

“Give her hell from us Peeves.” That's the sentence from books 1-5 that really stuck in my head. And the part about the glorious sunset...


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sewfuninme - Jul 10, 2004 1:43 pm (#142 of 331)
Edited Jul 10, 2004 2:43 pm

Gemini - yes, I absolutely love the "you gotta admit, he's got style" qoute. Always good for a broad smile.


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haymoni - Jul 10, 2004 2:47 pm (#143 of 331)

Anything said by Fred or George Weasley.

I especially love the way Fred proudly announces that he is going to the Ball with Angelina, completely forgetting that he hasn't actually asked her yet - "Oi, Angleina!"

How romantic!!!


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freshwater - Jul 10, 2004 7:37 pm (#144 of 331)
Edited Jul 10, 2004 8:37 pm

I love that scene, too, haymoni! It's such a great reflection of Fred/George’s confidence and style.

I also love the bit where, in GoF, Harry opens the egg and it's wailing. One of the twins says (something like),"It sounds like Percy singing...maybe you're supposed to attack him in the shower, Harry."


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Gemini12602 - Jul 11, 2004 9:51 am (#145 of 331)

senduil - Jul 9, 2004 10:42 pm (#140 of 144) Here it is Genini12601, on page 349, Chapter 16, In the Hog's Head...

“Well,” said Hermione, smiling slightly, "she just couldn't keep her (Cho during the Hogs Head meeting) eyes off you, could she?" Harry had never before appreciated just how beautiful the village of Hogsmeade was.


That’s the one! :-D


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Magika - Jul 12, 2004 12:43 pm (#146 of 331)

I know I've written my favorites before, but as I read through number 4, I found two more!

Both are said by Dumbledore...

“...it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!”

and

“We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.”


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Leila 2X4B - Jul 12, 2004 6:44 pm (#147 of 331)

some more of my favs are when Kreacher says about Fred "Nasty little brat of a blood traitor it is"...then about George "and there's its twin, unnatural little beasts they are".

Vernon when he says "enough effing owls".


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Ozymandias - Jul 12, 2004 11:14 pm (#148 of 331)

All of Vernon's mispronunciations of wizarding terms are wonderful. I'm particularly fond of "dementoids" and "this Lord Voldything."


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Gemini12602 - Jul 13, 2004 7:43 pm (#149 of 331)

The end of OotP when the Daily Prophet is quoting Fudge and calls Voldemort "Lord... Thingy" Priceless! :0) Way to win support there Fudge!!!


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Casey - Jul 14, 2004 8:59 am (#150 of 331)

God, there are so many good quotes. Some of my favorites come out of Divination classes. I love it when Ron "predicts" there will be a lot of fog because of what he "sees" in the crystal ball.

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The Artful Dodger - Jul 14, 2004 11:56 am (#151 of 331)
Edited Jul 14, 2004 12:58 pm

These are my favourites that have not been mentioned yet:

A Gilderoy Lockhart classic:
“But Miss Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair care potions.”

The dialogue between Draco and Harry on the Hogwarts Express in OoP:

“You see, unlike you, I've been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.”
“Yeah,” said Harry, "but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone."

At the Ministry Hearing:
“I - not - I haven't got time to listen to house-elves! Anyway, that's not the only - he blew up his aunt, for God's sake! Fudge shouted, banging his fist on the judge's bench and upsetting a bottle of ink.”
“And you very kindly did not press charges on that occasion, accepting, I presume, that even the best wizards cannot always control their emotions,” said Dumbledore calmly, as Fudge attempted to scrub the ink off his notes.


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Celestina W. - Jul 14, 2004 8:38 pm (#152 of 331)

Many of my favorite quotes are already on this thread, but here are a few more that I don't think have been posted yet. These are all from OotP.

“I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily. "Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, turning back to Snape.
“What is it with her?” said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him. "Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.

Not an exact quote, but I love Sirius singing "God Rest You, Merrye Hippogriffs" at Christmastime.

“The thing about growing up with Fred and George,” said Ginny thoughtfully, "is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve."

‘Indeed, Professor McGonagall sank back into her chair at the staff table after a few feeble remonstrances and was clearly heard to express a regret that she could not run cheering after Umbridge herself, because Peeves had borrowed her walking stick.’

I love pretty much everything McGonagall says to Umbridge throughout the whole book.


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Hermione Weasley - Jul 16, 2004 6:30 pm (#153 of 331)

My absolute favorite scene is right after the first task in GoF where Ron and Hermione come to see about Harry. (I don't have the book in front of me so grin and bear it Wink }

‘Suddenly Harry didn't need to hear it anymore. H: "Forget it" R: "But I was" H: "I said forget it" And he grinned at him and Ron slowly grinned back.
(here it comes) All of a sudden Hermione burst into tears and yelled "You guys are so stupid!" as she stamped her foot on the ground. ‘

I cry with laughter every time I read that!


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haymoni - Jul 16, 2004 6:38 pm (#154 of 331)

The next line always busts me up:

“Barking mad,” said Ron, shaking his head.


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Hermione Weasley - Jul 16, 2004 6:52 pm (#155 of 331)
Absolutely!! I would love it if someone would post that little snippet! I could use a good laugh!


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The giant squid - Jul 17, 2004 12:02 am (#156 of 331)
Edited Jul 17, 2004 1:05 am

Help for those who ask... Smile

“It's okay,” he said, before Ron could get the words out. "Forget it."
“No,” said Ron, "I shouldn't've--"
“Forget it,” Harry said.
Ron grinned nervously at him, and Harry grinned back.
Hermione burst into tears.
“There's nothing to cry about!” Harry told her, bewildered.
“You two are so stupid!” she shouted, stamping her foot on the ground, tears splashing down her front. Then, before either of them could stop her, she had given both of them a hug and dashed away, now positively howling.
“Barking mad,” said Ron, shaking his head.

Since I'm in the middle of re-reading GoF, my bookmark was near that page. I love the "barking mad" bit myself. Smile

--Mike

EDIT: I made colors! yay! I am now one step closer to taking over the world through mastery of simple HTML! Bwa-ha-haaaa! *ahem* sorry...


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Hermione Weasley - Jul 17, 2004 9:18 am (#157 of 331)

Thanks!!!!!!!

P.S. Good job on the colors!! Now if only I could figure it out....


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mischa fan - Jul 17, 2004 7:05 pm (#158 of 331)

I love this from OotP

“...And it might have been a good idea to mention how ugly you think I am, too,” Hermione added as an afterthought.
“But I don't think you're ugly,” said Harry, bemused.
Hermione laughed.
“Harry, you're worse than Ron....Well, no, you're not,” she sighed, as Ron himself came stumping into the Hall splattered with mud looking grumpy.

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Chad Peters - Jul 21, 2004 6:42 pm (#159 of 331)

I've a couple, forget where they're from exactly and the wording but here goes:

“Maybe someone should call up and find out if Wood's died. I think Angelina's channeling his spirit.”

“Hey! You're Loony Lovegood! Ha ha ha. Harry, It's Loony Lovegood!”

“You can't curse a baby!”

“We can't go in there. That's a Girl's bathroom.”

‘Colin and his brother Dennis had been working on changing the badges to say "Support Harry Potter" but had only managed so far to get them stuck saying "Potter Really Stinks." ‘

And since I can't remember the scene, but the numerous times that Fred and George hexed Percy's pin to read "Pinhead" instead of prefect.


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Madame Librarian - Jul 21, 2004 7:18 pm (#160 of 331)

I think they originally changed the badge to read Bighead Boy. Funny either way.

Ciao. Barb


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Hermione Weasley - Jul 21, 2004 7:35 pm (#161 of 331)

Here's another classic:

Harry and Ron are in divination doing dream interpretation.

“Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night,” said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. "What d'you reckon that means?"

“Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something.”

I am rolling with laughter!!


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Julia. - Jul 21, 2004 8:36 pm (#162 of 331)

Excellent quotes everyone! I find the need to review all my favorite quotes and have them all in one place, thus I will do so. Feel free to skip my post if you're tired of hearing them.

“You're dead, Potter.”
“Funny, you'd have thought I'd have stopped walking by now, wouldn't you?”

Fred looked across the hall at the poltergeist bobbing on his level above the crowd.
“Give her hell from us Peeves.”
And Peeves, whom Harry had never seen take an order from a student before, swept his belled hat from his head and sprang to a salute as Fred and George wheeled about to tumultuous applause from the students below and sped out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset. (I love that one! Brings a tear to my eye!)

“You look in excellent health to me Potter, so you’ll will excuse me if I don't let you off homework today. I assure you that if you die you need not hand it in.”

“It unscrews the other way. “

'Well, usually when a person shakes their head,' -- 'they mean "no". So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign-language as yet unknown to humans...'

'I should have made my meaning plainer,' --- 'He has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.'

'Forgive me, Remus' said Black. 'Not at all Padfoot, old friend,' said Lupin who was now rolling up his sleeves. 'And you will in turn forgive me for believing you were the spy?' 'Of course,' said Black, and the ghost of a grin flitted acorss his gaunt face. 'Shall we kill him together?' 'Yes, I think so.' ()

“Well, I think Potter and his friends ought to have fifty points a peice for alerting the world to the return of You -Know Who! What say you, Professor Snape?”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA?!”

Any my all-time favorite...
“Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.”
“Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.”
“Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.”
“Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”


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The giant squid - Jul 21, 2004 9:02 pm (#163 of 331)

Julia, I'll have to agree with you on the all-time favorite part. Very Happy I so wish they'd've put the whole thing in the movie!

--Mike


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Julia. - Jul 21, 2004 9:10 pm (#164 of 331)

I agree with you Mike, but you have to admit, having Harry read that bit allowed was hysterical. I could just see him thinking 'don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh!'


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Leila 2X4B - Jul 21, 2004 9:45 pm (#165 of 331)

I am still laughing at those last few posts. Barb and Chad areboth right. In PoA it is Pinhead, in OotP it is Bighead boy


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Julia. - Jul 22, 2004 4:09 pm (#166 of 331)

I forgot one! *gasp* Here it is...

' “It is a myth! It does not exist! There is not a shred of evidence that Slytherin ever built so much as a secret broom cupboard! I regret telling you such a foolish story! We will return, if you please to history, to solid believable verifiable fact!”

And within five minutes, the class had sunk back into its usual torpor. ‘


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Padfoot - Jul 23, 2004 10:32 am (#167 of 331)

Does anybody have the quote where Hermione describes to Harry and Ron, Cho's feelings?


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Julia. - Jul 23, 2004 1:28 pm (#168 of 331)

Surebeans, Padfoot. Here it is.

“Don't you understand how Cho's feeling at the moment?” she asked.
“No,” said Harry and Ron together.
Hermione sighed and laid down her quill.
“Well, obviously, she's feeling very sad, because of Cedric dying. Then I expect she's feeling confused because she liked Cedric and now she likes Harry, and she can't work out who she likes best. Then she'll be feeling guilty, thinking it's an insult to Cedric's memory to be kissing Harry at all, and she'll be worrying about what everyone else might say about her if she starts going out with Harry. And she probably can't work out what her feelings toward Harry are anyway, because he was the one who was Cedric when Cedric died, so that's all very mixed up and painful. Oh, and she's afraid she's going to be thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she's been flying so badly. “
A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."
“Just becuase you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon, doesn't mean we all have,” said Hermione nastily, picking up her quill again. (OoP ch 21, pg 459, US)

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Padfoot - Jul 23, 2004 1:45 pm (#169 of 331)
Edited by Jul 23, 2004 2:46 pm

Thanks Julia, I wanted to add it to my bio area as I love that scene. It always makes me laugh.

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haymoni - Jul 23, 2004 5:50 pm (#170 of 331)
Julia - on another thread you reminded me of one of my favorites:

"I didn't learn joined-up writing for nothing, you know!"


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Gryffindor House - Jul 24, 2004 7:11 am (#171 of 331)
Edited Jul 24, 2004 8:12 am

Some of my favorite lines from each book: From PS: "Are You a witch or not?"-Ron (Surprised no one has posted this one before.) "Mr Potter, our new celebrity."-Snape

From CoS: "You better hope Colin doesn't meet Ginny or they'll start a Harry Potter Fan Club"-Ron "If Hagrid ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him."-Ron

From PoA: "Probably gone to see if she can take more classes"-Ron when Hermione goes to talk to McGonagall after Christmas dinner. "Are you planning to eat or sleep at all this year Hermione?"-Harry

From GoF: "Just because it's taken you three years doesn't mean noone else has noticed I'm a girl"-Hermione to Ron "It's classified infromation until such a time as the ministry decides to release it."-Percy

From OotP: "Thank you so much Proffesor. I could have gotten rid of the sparklers myself, but I didn't know whether or not I had the authority."-Flitwick to Umbridge "Oh you don't know Potter like I do, he has a great weakness for heroics."-Lucius Malfoy


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Ozymandias - Jul 25, 2004 12:45 am (#172 of 331)
Edited Jul 25, 2004 1:45 am

From GoF: "Just because it's taken you three years doesn't mean no one else has noticed I'm a girl"-Hermione to Ron "It's classified information until such a time as the ministry decides to release it."-Percy

Oh, that made me laugh out loud. Just those two quotes together...Hermione's status as a girl is classified information until such time as the ministry sees fit to release it.

Ok, so it's late, and I'm a bit giddy.

I don't think anyone's mentioned in SS when Hermione has stopped speaking to Harry and Ron "...but she was such an insufferable know it all that they saw this as an added bonus." That always makes me smile.


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Prefect Marcus - Jul 25, 2004 6:51 am (#173 of 331)

From GoF: "Just because it's taken you three years doesn't mean no one else has noticed I'm a girl"-Hermione to Ron "It's classified information until such a time as the ministry decides to release it."-Percy

I couldn't help laughing either, Ozy.


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Gemini12602 - Jul 25, 2004 10:29 am (#174 of 331)

Hermione Weasley[/B] - Jul 21, 2004 8:35 pm (#161 of 173) Here's another classic:

Harry and Ron are in divination doing dream interpretation.

Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night, said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. "What d'you reckon that means?"

Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something,

I am rolling with laughter!!


I just had a random thought... is this in some way a reference to the first Ghostbusters movie? Not saying Harry has seen it, but maybe JKR got the idea from it, lol.


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S.E. Jones - Jul 25, 2004 12:27 pm (#175 of 331)
Edited Jul 25, 2004 1:28 pm

This is not my post. It was originally posted by another member and is being moved here.

Voldemort's "right hand" man

Casey - Jul 22, 2004 6:42 am

This may have been discussed here already, but I'm posting it anyway. After re-reading GOF last year, I noticed something in the first chapter. Voldemort tells Wormtail that he will get his reward. "I will allow you to perform an essential task for me, one that many of my followers would give their right hands to perform..." (GOF p. 11)

I just LOVE J.K. Rowling. RIGHT HAND! I mean, reading it the first time, I didn't notice, because the chopping of the hand happens so many pages past this little comment. Reading it the second time, though, I picked up on it. I had forgotten about it until I picked the book up the other day.

Just another of JKR's little clues that I wanted to mention. She's a genius, guys.


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Hermione Weasley - Jul 25, 2004 7:31 pm (#176 of 331)

Gemini,

I hadn't thought about that! That would be really cool, and here I was just thinking JKR made another really good joke! Wink

Hermione


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KWeldon - Jul 26, 2004 5:47 am (#177 of 331)

I can't believe no one has mentioned my favorite bit from GoF, but perhaps it was only funny to me. I don't have my book in front of me, but if anyone wanted to post the passage, that would be much appreciated.

It's when Harry first sees the Veela at the World Cup, and he begins to climb up on the ledge of their balcony, thinking, I am going to jump off this balcony ledge for them, but will it be enough???


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ShelterGirl - Jul 26, 2004 6:35 am (#178 of 331)

One of my favorites is not a quote that's attributable to a person, but rather a line from OotP... "...a group of people making their way across the park. One of them was singing a loud, crude song. The others were laughing." Every time I read that passage I imagine in my head a certain song involving a hedgehog that turns up frequently in Terry Pratchett's novels. I'm certain I'm just overactive in my imagination, but from the very first reading of it that's what pops into my head, and I start giggling.

Julie


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contess lillein asend - Jul 26, 2004 9:24 am (#179 of 331)

My favorite..."manky old boot". I just love the thought of 9 people with backpacks standing around in a circle, early in the morning, holding onto a manky old boot.

I have started to use this as my expletive of choice. Always makes me feel better.


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Leila 2X4B - Jul 26, 2004 9:30 am (#180 of 331)

I actually love the scene where Snape reads the Rita Skeeter article about Harry aloud in class. That whole dialogue still makes me giggle Leila


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KWeldon - Jul 26, 2004 5:26 pm (#181 of 331)
Edited Jul 26, 2004 6:27 pm

Here's the part:

‘And as the Veela danced faster and faster, wild, half-formed thoughts started chasing through Harry's dazed mind. He wanted to do something very impressive, right now. Jumping from the box into the stadium seemed a good idea...but would it be good enough?
“Harry, what are you doing?” said Hermione's voice from a long way off.
The music stopped. Harry blinked. He was standing up, and one of his legs was resting on the wall of the box. Next to him, Ron was frozen in an attitude that looked as though he were about to dive from a springboard.’

I laughed out loud at the thought of two teenage boys completely losing it over hot chicks.


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T Brightwater - Jul 27, 2004 9:30 am (#182 of 331)

Two of my favorite moments from OoP:

After Hermione asked if Harry and Cho had kissed:

“Well?” Ron said finally, looking up at Harry. "How was it?"
Harry considered for a moment.
“Wet,” he said truthfully.

And at 12 Grimmauld Place:

“Well, that was a bit stupid of you,” said Ginny angrily, "seeing as you don't know anyone but me who's been possessed by You-Know-Who, and I can tell you how it feels."

(my other favorites have been posted already, but if there's a vote for funniest line in the series, I'll add my support to "It unscrews the other way.")


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Casey - Jul 28, 2004 7:36 am (#183 of 331)

“How dare you! We've been working like house-elves here!”

“Aaaaah, when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry... “

(I'm re-reading GOF and those are my favorite Ron quotes thus far.) Have a good day. Smile


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penguin patronus - Aug 3, 2004 5:30 pm (#184 of 331)

Malfoy glanced around. Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers. Then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, "You're dead Potter." Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "you'd think I'd have stopped walking around..."

~book #5~ I love this part! How about you?


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TomProffitt - Aug 4, 2004 4:15 am (#185 of 331)

“This is night, Didykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”


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T Brightwater - Aug 4, 2004 9:15 am (#186 of 331)

“Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does and not as a last resort!”
(atta girl, Hermione!)


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Alianora - Aug 4, 2004 11:20 am (#187 of 331)

“Yeah,” said Harry. "No more pretending we care what happens when Jupiter and Uranus get too friendly..."

“And from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell ‘die, Ron die’ -I'm just chucking them in the bin where they belong.”


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Czarina II - Aug 4, 2004 12:49 pm (#188 of 331)

"Oh, Hermione, I just realised! You're a girl!" (Ron, GoF, paraphrased)


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rosi reef - Aug 10, 2004 5:28 am (#189 of 331)

I just reread GoF, so this one is in my head: "...they left Snape standing next to the gargoyle, looking twice as ugly." I just love it. Withal Snape is my favourite character!


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McSnurp - Aug 10, 2004 7:16 am (#190 of 331)

One of my favorite lines is too long to put into here. Towards the end of PoA when Sirius is finally talking to Harry. It's so sad, but it's such a sweet conversation.


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penguin patronus - Aug 11, 2004 8:08 pm (#191 of 331)

You know, I like it when they describe the Monster Book of Monsters like some weird crab. I don't have the book with me, but I love that part for some reason. So does my sister.


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T Brightwater - Aug 12, 2004 8:24 am (#192 of 331)

The scene with Dennis Creevey telling his brother about falling in the lake is a hoot. I can hear him!


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Wheezy - Aug 13, 2004 12:54 pm (#193 of 331)

I already posted my favorite line but after rereading GoF I have to add all the "Potter Stinks" and then when it gets changed to "Potter Really Stinks". I know that it's a really mean thing to happen to Harry but it just strikes me as funny to turn the page and see "Potter Stinks" in bold letters.


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Crystal Moony - Aug 15, 2004 8:25 pm (#194 of 331)
Edited Aug 15, 2004 9:27 pm

am always in splits whenever I read this:

‘he amused himself for a moment, picturing Dumbledore with his long silver beard, full wizard robes and pointed hat, stretched out on a beach somewhere . . rubbing suntan lotion into his long crooked nose.’ (just imagine that)

and also the letter inside Harry's head-

‘Dear professor Dumbledore, sorry to bother you, but my scar hurt this morning. Yours sincerely, Harry Potter.’

and everything that has to do with the twins, esp. with Percy. And I crack up whenever I come across 'exceptionally full bladder' in GoF.

and many more, but most of them are posted anyway. and I love Pig, esp. when he annoys Ron.

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**deleted post**



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Archangel - Aug 16, 2004 3:09 am (#196 of 331)

There's too many quotes in HP that I love but right now my favorite would have to be McGonagall's "Would like a cough drop?" retort to Umbridge's "Hem, Hem". Smile I could actually use it on some of my mates when they're making that sound to make me hurry up *** grin spreads across face ***



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Crystal Moony - Aug 16, 2004 3:45 am (#197 of 331)
Edited Aug 16, 2004 4:59 am

I am really sorry for all the trouble that I have caused. I guess that in my eagerness I must have forgotten the grammar and capitalization. Even Solitaire mentioned that my spacing is not good. The thing is, when I write and post my message, it appears just like the other messages (i.e. with the proper spacing) on my screen. I am fairly new to the world of chatting. I don't know how to use HTML and I am generally at sea when it comes to anything related to computers (I can't even understand what LOL means, for Heaven's sake) and sorry for all the 'I's. Please help me guys!



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Padfoot - Aug 16, 2004 1:10 pm (#198 of 331)

LOL means laughing out loud.

Pretty much everything Fred and George say make me laugh, they are such characters. A lot of what they have said has already been quoted on this thread.


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Czarina II - Aug 16, 2004 8:32 pm (#199 of 331)

I agree, Padfoot. I love just about anything that Fred, George, and Ron say.


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narisa - Aug 17, 2004 5:55 am (#200 of 331)

Crystral Moony, me too. I never know what LOL mean until now. For me, i U R C 4 is easier to suggest than LV SS CoS, etc. It took me age to understand these Harry Potter words.

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Padfoot - Aug 17, 2004 12:42 pm (#201 of 331)

If you go visit the thread Commonly Used Abbreviations for the Lexicon Forums at the top of the page, that should clear up any confusion.



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Crystal Moony - Aug 17, 2004 11:28 pm (#202 of 331)

Thanks for the link, Padfoot. It sure put me on the track. I am sorry for troubling you once again, but,what exactly is Killer Bunny Rabbit? (Half of my hair gone trying to figure that out).



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T Brightwater - Aug 18, 2004 4:52 am (#203 of 331)

I'm not sure what its relevance is to the Forum, but I suspect it comes originally from the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail."



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Padfoot - Aug 18, 2004 1:33 pm (#204 of 331)

I believe the killer bunny rabbit in question could be a reference to one of the forum members (who I haven't seen lately). It's either Carina or Czarina (she has an avatar of Thumper). But then again, I could be wrong.

Here's a good quote that always makes me laugh: "He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with news...check if I'm happy..."

Archivist's note: Denise P. used Thumper (from Bambi: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say nothing at all") while Carina Prime had KBR (Killer Bunny Rabbit) from her insanely bouncing rabbit avatar.

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The giant squid - Aug 19, 2004 1:41 am (#205 of 331)

Padfoot, the Forumer you're thinking of is Carina. Whether or not her "killer bunny rabbits" are related to Monty Python's "Vorpal Bunny" is undetermined (at least, she hasn't told me).

I now return you to your regularly scheduled Quote thread.

--Mike


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Quidam - Aug 19, 2004 3:16 am (#206 of 331)

If any of these are already here, or if I have got the wording wrong, I apologise

Uncle Vernon: “Funny way to get to a wizards school, the train. Magic carpets all got punctures have they?”

Uncle Vernon: “There you are boy, platform nine, platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet do they?”

Harry: (after Snape's questions) “I don't know. I think Hermione does though, why don't you try her?”

Neville: “I'm worth twelve of you, Malfoy.”

Dudley: “I know what day it is.”
Harry: “Well done. So you've finally learnt the days of the week.”

Oliver: “Get the snitch or die trying.”

Oliver: “Fred, George, where were you when that Bludger stopped Angelina scoring.”
Fred: “We were twenty feet above her stopping the other Bludger murdering Harry, Oliver.”

Ron: “If you'd wiped slime off a name for an hour you'd remember it too.”

Hermione: “I don't think anyone should ride that broom just yet.”
Ron: “What do you think Harry's going to do with it, sweep the floor?”

Fred: “Shut up, Weatherby.”

Bill: “Do us a favour, Perce, and shut up.”

Percy: “Mr. Crouch is really starting to rely on me.”
George: “You know what, Percy? I reckon he'll know your name soon.”

Hermione: “It's not spew, Ron”
Ron: “Changed the name have you? What are we now, the House Elf Liberation Front?”
Ron: “Thinking of starting up SPUG or something? Society for the Protection of Ugly Goblins.”

Sirius: “As everyone thinks I'm a mass murderer, and the ministry's put a ten thousand galleon price on my head, I can hardly stroll up the street and start handing out leaflets, can I?” (Whenever I read that bit I get a vision of a black dog running down a street with a mouthful of leaflets)

Ron: “I'll sponsor you to shut up about SPEW.”

Ernie: “I want you to know, Potter, it's not only weirdos who support you. I personally believe you one hundred percent. My parents have always stood firm behind Dumbledore, and so do I.”

Angelina: (telling Harry he'd better get out of detention so he can attend Keeper tryouts) “I don't care how you do it. Tell her You Know Who's a figment of your imagination if you like. Just make sure you're there.”
Harry: (to Ron and Hermione after Angelina has walked off) “I think we'd better check with Puddlemere United whether Oliver Wood's been killed during a training session, because Angelina seems to be channeling his spirit.”

Angelina: “Last year's beaters, Derrick and Bole, have left but it looks as though Montague's replaced them with the usual gorillas rather than anyone who can fly particularly well.” (On Crabbe and Goyle)

Angelina: “Well they don't look bright enough to tell one end of a broom from the other.” (on Crabbe and Goyle)

Lee: “Nice bludger from Fred Weasley, I mean George Weasley. Oh who cares? One of them anyway.”

Ron: “Who are you writing the novel to?”
Hermione: “Viktor.”
Ron: “Krum?”
Hermione: “How many other Viktors do we know?”

McGonagall: “Dear, dear. Miss Brown, would you mind running along to the headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom.”

Flitwick: “Thank you so much, Professor. I could have got rid of the sparklers myself of course. But I wasn't sure whether or not I had the authority.”

Lupin, age 15: “One, he's sitting in my chair. Two, he's wearing my clothes. Three, his name's Remus Lupin.” (listing the signs to identify a werewolf)

Neville: “We're all in the DA together. It was all supposed to be about fighting You Know Who, wasn't it? And this is the first chance we've had to do something real.”

Luna: “You know what could be in there?”
Hermione: “Something blibbering, no doubt.” (talking about the locked door at the department of mysteries)

Ron: “Goyle's mum'll be pleased, he's heaps better looking now.” (after Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle have been attacked by DA members)

Mad Eye: “I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursley.”



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The giant squid - Aug 20, 2004 4:01 am (#207 of 331)

MsWhizz123 posted this bit on the "What Made You Shout Out Loud?" thread, and I had to move it over here as it's one of my favorites as well:

Percy, however, held out his hand solemnly as though he and Harry had never met and said, "Harry. How nice to see you." "Hello, Percy, " said Harry, trying not to laugh. "I hope you're well?" said Percy pompously, shaking hands. It was rather like being introduced to the mayor. "Very well, thanks--" "Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. Simply splendid to see you , old boy--" "Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing." Percy scowled. "That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley; "Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you--"

Really, anything involving Gred & Forge is likely to rank among my favorites...


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Erikson - Aug 20, 2004 11:08 am (#208 of 331)

I don't really remember this part, but here it is:

'As if a normal boy would care what's on the news. Dudley doesn't. Doubt he knows who the Prime Minister is'

and of course 'emotional range of a teaspoon'


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Padfoot - Aug 20, 2004 11:35 am (#209 of 331)
Edited by Aug 20, 2004 12:36 pm

Here is one of those quotes: "Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have." -Hermione

I love that quote too.


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Leila 2X4B - Aug 20, 2004 9:57 pm (#210 of 331)

I love "Shutup, Weatherby".


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Sara Elizabeth - Aug 24, 2004 11:40 am (#211 of 331)

I don't have the books here with me at work, but I also love Lee Jordan's commentary where he praises Angelina and complains she still won't go out with him.

Sara


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Kasse - Aug 24, 2004 2:16 pm (#212 of 331)
Edited Aug 24, 2004 3:17 pm

Oh I saw this on mugglenet and had to post it here, it’s from OOP

“It sounds as though you've been trying to sew your skin back together, but even you, Arthur, wouldn't be that stupid...”- Molly

Such a typical and funny Mr and Mrs Weasley moment


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djellibabe - Aug 26, 2004 10:38 am (#213 of 331)
Edited Aug 26, 2004 11:43 am

I know this is not a direct quote from a book but I love the bit in the COS movie when Mr. Weasley turns to Harry and says

'So tell me Harry, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?'

A funny line, delivered beautifully!! Gets me every time. And while I'm on the subject, Mrs. Weasley to the gang as they return from rescuing Harry.

'WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?'

Simple but spoken so well. My 5 year old son, who has no real clue about HP, quotes this with his hands on his hips and he thinks it's hysterical. (I guess you have to be there!)


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lobelia - Aug 26, 2004 10:55 am (#214 of 331)
Edited Aug 26, 2004 11:56 am

Aahh speaking of five year olds. My son loves the part in the CS movie where Ron says: "Why Spiders? Why can't it be ‘follow the butterflies’?". I am sure I am not quoting it correctly. I have to admit the way Rupert says it makes me chuckle every time.


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T Brightwater - Aug 29, 2004 7:14 pm (#215 of 331)

I'm reading GoF to my mother, who dearly loves the Potter books but has macular degeneration. Last night's session included the scene between Harry and Myrtle in the prefects' bathroom. I'd forgotten how hilarious that is, especially when Myrtle was describing how Cedric took so long to figure out the egg's song. "Ages and ages...nearly all the bubbles were gone." (remember that Harry's using the bubbles for concealment at that moment!)

I'd never pictured Myrtle as a voyeur (voyeuse?) before...


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freshwater - Aug 29, 2004 8:54 pm (#216 of 331)

Ah, the humor of children. My son is 10, and for some reason he loves this bit:

Ron has just yelled at Hermione for Crookshanks going after Scabber (was it during Christmas break in PoA?) and Harry says (something like), "He's not looking too good, is he?" And Ron answers, "It's stress!"

My son just cracks up whenever we read that.


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Padfoot - Aug 30, 2004 11:53 am (#217 of 331)

T Brightwater, that scene cracks me up too. Myrtle is so funny.


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RuthJ - Aug 31, 2004 7:26 pm (#218 of 331)

One of my favorites is from GoF, when the students are waiting to greet Durmstrang & Beauxbatons (not verbatim, don't have the book with me):

“It's a dragon,” shrieked a first year. "Don't be stupid, it's a flying house!" said Dennis Creevey.


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Chris. - Sep 11, 2004 12:53 pm (#219 of 331)
This is one of my favourite quotes from OP, right after Dumbledore's arrest-capade!

“You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts....but you cannot deny he's got style...."

Leaves me in fits of laughter every time.


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Richard !!!Reid - Sep 11, 2004 12:56 pm (#220 of 331)

Yes...that one was good, but my favourite was:

“It unscrews the other way.”

or:

“Would you like a cough drop, Dolores?”

McGonagall is the Queen of one-liners, especially directed at Umbridge.


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The One - Sep 12, 2004 4:47 am (#221 of 331)

What about:

“It changes every day, you see!”


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Leila 2X4B - Sep 12, 2004 3:27 pm (#222 of 331)

How about "We're not stupid you know" and here is the best part "Well that's news to me" I love those lines.


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Doxy Bowtruckle - Sep 19, 2004 11:39 am (#223 of 331)

I am amazed by the number of teachers sorry professors that use "indeed." Dumbledore is always saying it. Maybe it has another meaning?!


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freshwater - Sep 23, 2004 5:08 pm (#224 of 331)

I'm re-reading SS to my son and came across this quote (may not be exact) early in the book, before the troll: Hermione is scolding Harry about his Nimbus 2000 being a reward for breaking the rules.

Harry responds: "I thought you weren't talking to us?"

“Yeah, don't stop now,” said Ron, “it's doing us so much good."

*snicker**snort**


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Aurian - Sep 24, 2004 1:09 pm (#225 of 331)

Ya, Ron and Dumbledore are certainly two of the more humorous characters!!


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EbonyRebel - Sep 25, 2004 11:33 am (#226 of 331)
Edited Sep 25, 2004 12:53 pm

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, AURIAN!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, I would agree with you completely!

Here are some of my favourites (apologies if they've been mentioned already, I didn't have time to go through the thread):

Lockhart: “Just do as I did, Harry!”
Harry: “What, drop my wand?”

McGonagall: “Can I borrow Wood for a moment, please?” Harry - Was Wood a cane she was going to use on him?

Dumbledore: “What happened between you and Quirrell was a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows about it.”

Harry: “This is night, Dudley. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”

Gred and Forge: “Cheer up, Ginny! We'll send you a Hogwart's toilet seat”!

Ron made Harry feel much better (after the divination exam) when he told Harry that he had described in detail the very ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to discover it was the examiner's reflection. (Howwwwlllll!!!)

I love the description of Dobby looking up at Harry in "watery adoration".

To express their approval without words (the interview being banned in Hogwarts) of Harry's interview with Rita in OotP - "Professor Sprout awarded 20 points to Gryffindor when Harry handed her the watering can."

Harry: “Where's Wood?”
Fred or George: “Still in the showers. We think he's trying to drown himself.”



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Aurian - Oct 5, 2004 7:59 am (#227 of 331)
Edited Oct 5, 2004 9:00 am

Ya, those are classics! To add to those that you've already mentioned:

“It's lucky it's dark...I haven't blushed so much since Madame Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs.” - Dumbledore

“Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive,” said Malfoy sarcastically. "Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting, and suck blood all at once?"

“Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She – er got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first.” –Oliver Wood

“Don't be prat, Neville, that's illegal,” said George. "They wouldn't use the Cruciatus Curse on the champions. I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry."

I response to Mrs. Weasley's comment about "everyone in the family" becoming prefects: George - "What are Fred and I - next door neighbours??"


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Erikson - Oct 8, 2004 9:53 am (#228 of 331)

uau! this is great!

what about “I doubt Dudley knows who the prime minister is!”


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hawkeyetkdchick - Oct 10, 2004 7:30 pm (#229 of 331)
Edited by Oct 10, 2004 8:30 pm

Aurian, for the life of me, I can't remember when Dumbledore says "It's lucky it's dark...I haven't blushed so much since Madame Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs." Could you refresh my memory? What book is that from?

Here's one of my favorites! It always "cracks" me up, I can't believe it hasn't been mentioned: "'Crackers!' said Dumbledore enthusiastically, offering the end of a large silver noisemaker to Sanpe, who took it reluctantly and tugged. With a bang like a gunshot, the cracker flew apart to reveal a large, pointed witch's hat topped with a stuffed vulture." LOL!!


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Julia. - Oct 10, 2004 7:35 pm (#230 of 331)

No problem Hawkeyetkdchick. It's from chapter one of PS/SS.


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Ginevra-Weasley - Oct 11, 2004 6:00 am (#231 of 331)
Edited Oct 11, 2004 7:00 am

Hi Hawkeye. In your post you say that "Aurian- For the life of me, I can't remember when Dumbledoor says "It's lucky it's dark...I haven't blushed so much since Madame Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs." Could you refresh my memory? What book is that from?"

Well this is a quote Of DD from chapter one of PS/SS. DD said this to Professor Mcgongall when she said that DD was too noble to use powers that Voldemort has


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hawkeyetkdchick - Oct 11, 2004 6:15 pm (#232 of 331)

Oh thanks! Can't believe I forgot about that.


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Paulus Maximus - Oct 12, 2004 3:28 pm (#233 of 331)
Edited Oct 12, 2004 4:28 pm

Dudley: "He cheeked me."
Harry: "Yeah? Did he say that you look like a pig who's learned to walk on two legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true."


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Erikson - Oct 15, 2004 9:26 am (#234 of 331)

oh yes, that's true!


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Tessa's Dad - Oct 15, 2004 10:49 am (#235 of 331)

Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!


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scoop2172000 - Oct 20, 2004 8:43 am (#236 of 331)

I don't have my copy of OotP handy (loaned to a friend), but I love the scene in the final chapter when Draco runs into Harry outside the Great Hall To paraphrase the exchange:

Draco tells Harry "you're dead" and Harry quips words to the effect "you'd think I'd have stop walking around by now."

Temper rising, Draco claims Harry can't land his (Draco's) father in prison, to which Harry replies "I thought I just had."

Draco, temper still rising, claims his father and the others will soon be out of Azkaban, and Harry concedes that's true, but at least everyone knows "what scumbags" they are now.

I see this as Harry at his most sarcastic and fearless -- and a far cry from the boy who was tongue-tied the first time he met a boastful Malfoy in Diagon Alley.

First runner-up for favorite scene, both from the book and movie CoS is the duel face-off between Malfoy and Harry, where Malfoy asks if Harry's scared, and Harry shoots back with "You wish."


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Prefect Marcus - Oct 20, 2004 8:51 am (#237 of 331)
Edited by Oct 20, 2004 9:52 am

Scoop -

Don't forget when Draco threatens Harry in the same conversation and he says, "Now I'm scared. I guess Voldemort was just a warm-up for you."

:-)

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scoop2172000 - Oct 20, 2004 11:50 am (#238 of 331)

You're right, Prefect Marcus. Alas, I didn't have my copy handy.

I love it that Harry's getting increasingly bold in his confrontations with Draco -- and his confrontations with Dudley too. Go Harry !!! Smile


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haymoni - Oct 20, 2004 1:13 pm (#239 of 331)

I liked the next line -

“What's the matter?” he said, for Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle had all looked stricken at the sound of the name. "He's your dad's mate, isn't he? Not scared of him, are you?"


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Paulus Maximus - Oct 20, 2004 3:28 pm (#240 of 331)

Yeah... Harry is becoming as ruthless as his enemies...

Yet still I cheer him on when he taunts them...


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Steve Newton - Oct 27, 2004 7:11 pm (#241 of 331)

I OOTP, chapter 15, Fred is discussing OWL grades. He says "Nothing wrong with a good healthy "P".

A good double entendre.


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Nearly Legless Mick - Nov 4, 2004 10:24 am (#242 of 331)

So many to choose from, but I just love Ron making "clip-clop" horse's hoof noises in St. Mungo's and causing Umbridge to freak out.


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Paulus Maximus - Nov 5, 2004 10:35 am (#243 of 331)
The hospital wing at Hogwarts, not St Mungo's...

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SHEla WOLFsbane - Nov 6, 2004 2:46 am (#244 of 331)

Yeh, I loved the Clip Clop noises too! I forgot about that one.


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IriSka - Dec 4, 2004 10:01 am (#245 of 331)

So many actually! But I just re-read PS & absolutely love that one! Very Happy

'Devil's Snare, Devil's Snare... what did Professor Sprout say? – it likes the dark and the damp 'So light a fire!' Harry choked. 'Yes – of course – but there's no wood!' Hermione cried, wringing her hands. 'HAVE YOU GONE MAD?' Ron bellowed. 'ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?'

'Yeah,' said Ron, 'and lucky Harry doesn't lose his head in a crisis – "there's no wood," honestly


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T Brightwater - Dec 6, 2004 10:24 am (#246 of 331)

Also from PS/SS:

“I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks.”


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Steve Newton - Dec 6, 2004 1:08 pm (#247 of 331)

Which does suggest that Draco's first dealing with Harry was an effort at friendship, albeit conditional. Being publicly and rudely rejected might give him a good, understandable, reason to resent Harry.


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wwtMask - Dec 6, 2004 1:24 pm (#248 of 331)

Draco's rather clueless attempt to insinuate himself into Harry's good graces probably would have gone over better if he had not taken the time to insult the very person with whom Harry had become friendly during the journey.

I don't know if these are repeated, but I like these quotes:

“Pity you can't attach another arm to your broom, then it can catch the snitch for you.”

Draco: "You're dead Potter."
Harry: "Funny, you'd think I'd stop walking around."

“He must really like you. Imagine having to eat rats!”

“I have nothing left to say to you Potter. You have irked me too often for too long.”


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Maria Dunlavey - Dec 8, 2004 6:38 pm (#249 of 331)

I love the final scene in OotP, where Moody and co. are intimidating the Dursleys.

This is a matter of great embarrassment to me, but I have never understood why "Tripe, Sybill?" is so funny. Can anyone enlighten me?


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Steve Newton - Dec 8, 2004 6:45 pm (#250 of 331)

From the online American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language at: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

2. Informal: Something of no value; rubbish.

This would seem to be a succinct summation of McGonagall's opinion of Trelawney's Divination class and teaching skill.



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The giant squid - Dec 9, 2004 3:55 am (#251 of 331)

More specifically, it's the double meaning. Minerva is, on the surface, offering Sibyll some food (def. 1), while surreptitiously stating that she thinks Sibyll's prediction is hooey (def. 2).

Plus, it's sarcastic which, too me, is the second best form of humor (just behind the pun--Timrew, where are ye?).

--Mike


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Steve Newton - Dec 9, 2004 5:47 am (#252 of 331)

Squid, you did a much better job than I did explaining the pun. I only explained half even though I was looking at the definition that included the food.

I'm a librarian and am supposed to know how to do this stuff. Off to the oven.


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wwtMask - Dec 9, 2004 5:47 am (#253 of 331)

I always thought Prof. McGonagall had some of the best sarcastic lines in the books. She's the kind of teacher I'd like to have. Funny enough, one of my favorite teachers was like her, but a lot less strict.


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Julia. - Dec 9, 2004 5:53 am (#254 of 331)

Oh, Liz, can that be a vote question? Which Hogwarts teacher we'd most like to have as a teacher?


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Maria Dunlavey - Dec 9, 2004 1:35 pm (#255 of 331)

Thank you, Steve and Squid!


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Adami - Dec 13, 2004 5:49 am (#256 of 331)

Yeah, thanks Steve and squid! I never got the “Tripe, Sybill” untill now. Thanks! Adami


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Mara Jade - Dec 13, 2004 8:51 pm (#257 of 331)

I have lots of favourite lines, but the one that makes me laugh the most is in GoF (I don't have the book with me, so forgive me if it's it’s not completely correct) when Percy talks to Harry at the Yule Ball:

'"I've been promoted" he said, and from his tone Harry thought he might have been announcing his election as Supreme Ruler of the Universe.'


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Nearly Legless Mick - Jan 14, 2005 4:05 pm (#258 of 331)

Arthur Weasley " Now Harry, what exactly is the purpose of a rubber duck?"

This line is delivered beautifully by Mark Williams in one of the films.


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Prefect Marcus - Jan 14, 2005 5:48 pm (#259 of 331)

In fact, the rubber duck line is only found in the films.


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Snuffles - Jan 17, 2005 7:42 am (#260 of 331)

I like it in book 5 where Harry and Hermione are telling Ron about Grawp and Hermione says something like "and he knows me by the name of Hermy!"


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mal33 - Jan 19, 2005 9:57 am (#261 of 331)
My favorite is in CoS when Lockhart says something like "my wand is a little over-excited..." during the dueling lesson


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Wand Maker - Jan 22, 2005 7:57 am (#262 of 331)

A line in the first movie always cracks me up. At the end of the troll scene McGonagall says:

“five points, will be awarded to each of you; for sheer dumb luck!”


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Kajsa - Jan 26, 2005 3:51 pm (#263 of 331)

The whole Golden Egg night scene in GoF.

Moody: “Pyjama party, is it?”
Snape: “I have as much right to prowl this school after dark as you do!”
Moody: “Prowl away.”
But Snape's dark eyes were darting from the egg in Filch's arms to the map in Moody's hand, and Harry could tell he was putting two and two together, as only Snape could... 'Potter', he said quietly.

And from the PoA: 'Penelope and I have got a bet on', he told the team. 'Ten Galleons on the outcome of the match!' 'Harry - make sure you win', said Percy in an urgent whisper. 'I haven't got ten Galleons.'

Not really funny from the OotP but I like it: "Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you, boy?" Such an excellent link to the previous books.


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MoonRider - Feb 7, 2005 3:18 pm (#264 of 331)

Fred or George said: "Keep your hair on, woman!"----I really did laugh out loud when I read that.


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Madam Pince - Feb 17, 2005 12:17 pm (#265 of 331)

This isn't really a "quote" in that no character speaks the words, but I just thought it was a really nice bit of writing by JKR. Very sharply observant. From the last chapter of OoP, when Ron is recovering in the hospital wing:

....There were still deep welts on his forearms where the brain's tentacles had wrapped around him. According to Madam Pomfrey, thoughts could leave deeper scarring than almost anything else.....


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pottermom34 - Feb 17, 2005 8:43 pm (#266 of 331)
“He's not Fred, I am! And you call yourself our mother.” (from SS)


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Gryffindor Ghost - Feb 20, 2005 1:29 am (#267 of 331)

“Ron?” said Hermione, her jaw dropping. "Are — are you sure? I mean —" (Hermione Granger, from OotP, "The Woes of Mrs. Weasley, [I forgot the page], on the information that Ron was made prefect, not Harry.)

Oh, I practically rolled on the floor laughing as I read this . I can just imagine Hermione's expression as she says this, and as Ron turned to her, a defiant look on his face. I mean, she was very enthusiastic when she thought Harry was made prefect with her, but then here comes the truth — SLAP! — and she can't even string two words together; she just can't believe that Ron was in fact the prefect, not Harry. Oh, talk about being brutally disappointed. JKR can be really ruthless (no offense meant, ma'am!). Luckily, Mrs Weasley was there to save her from further embarrassment .

Gryff out.


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Round Pink Spider - Feb 27, 2005 6:28 pm (#268 of 331)

My current favorite (I did laugh out loud the first time I read it; now I just grin -- it's such a classic job of great writing):

“Well, Sirius, it's just that there were only four of you meeting in the Shrieking Shack...and I suppose you could all have squeezed under a single Invisibility Cloak if you'd wanted to. But there are twenty-eight of us...so we wouldn't need so much an Invisibility Cloak as an Invisibility Marquee” -- (Hermione, about the DA)


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Prisoner of Rowling - Mar 3, 2005 6:24 am (#269 of 331)

Arthur Weasley to Uncle Vernon: "They run off elkeltricity,do they?" "Ah yes, I can see the plugs. I collect plugs". Book version was good, but casting Mark Williams as Arthur was genius.


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Mellilot Flower. - Mar 6, 2005 5:31 am (#270 of 331)

“Twitchy little ferret isn't he?”


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Sticky Glue - Apr 10, 2005 2:17 am (#271 of 331)
OotP (p. 163)

Ms. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's. "I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"

“What are Fred and I, next-door neighbors?” said George indignantly....


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Sticky Glue - Apr 10, 2005 2:19 am (#272 of 331)

I also really like this one

'Devil's Snare, Devil's Snare... what did Professor Sprout say? – it likes the dark and the damp 'So light a fire!' Harry choked. 'Yes – of course – but there's no wood!' Hermione cried, wringing her hands. 'HAVE YOU GONE MAD?' Ron bellowed. 'ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?'

'Yeah,' said Ron, 'and lucky Harry doesn't lose his head in a crisis – "there's no wood," honestly


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Aqualu Nifey - Apr 16, 2005 2:14 pm (#273 of 331)

That one's one of my favorite's too, Sticky Glue.

"'Am I a professor?' said Lockhart in mild surprise. 'Goodness. I expect I was hopeless, was I?'"
"'Dear me,' said Dumbledore, shaking his head, his long silver moustache quivering. 'Impaled upon your own sword, Gilderoy!'
'Sword?' said Lockhart dimly. 'Haven't got a sword. That boy has, though.' He pointed at Harry. 'He'll lend you one.'"

"'I just wondered if I could make the teensiest interruption, Minerva?'
'I'll daresay you'll find you can.'"

The entire scene of Fred and George's departure.

"Indeed, a week after Fred and Geore's departure Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, 'It unscrews the other way.'"


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pottermom34 - Apr 18, 2005 6:44 am (#274 of 331)

“I wonder,” said Professor McGonagall in cold fury, turning on Professor Umbridge, "how do you expect to gain an idea of my usual teaching methods if you continue to interrupt me? You see, I do not generally permit people to talk when I'm talking."


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Finn BV - May 15, 2005 5:06 pm (#275 of 331)

I was so surprised nobody had put this one up yet! p. 595, US edition, "Seen and Unforseen." It's kind of long so beware… I've made a few cuts which I mark by bold elipsis points, like so: …

“No!” [Professor Trelawney] shrieked. "NO! THis cannot be happening.… It cannot… I refuse to accept it!"
“You didn't realize this was coming?” said a high girlish voice, sounding callously amused, and Harry, moving slightly to his right, saw that Trelawney's terrifying vision was nothing other than Professor Umbridge. "Incapable though you are of predicting even tomorrow's weather, you must surely have realized that your pitiful performance during my inspections, and lack of any improvement, would make it inevitable you would be sacked?"
“You c-can't!” howled Professor Trelawney, tears streaming down her face from behind her enormous lenses, "you c-can't sack me! I've b-been here sixteen years! H-Hogwarts is m-my h-home!"
“It was your home,” said Professor Umbridge. …
“There, there, Sibyll … Calm down.… Blow your nose on this. … It's not as bad as you think, now. … You are not going to have to leave Hogwarts. …”
“Oh, really, Professor McGonagall?” said Umbridge in a deadly voice, taking a few steps forward. "And your authority for that statement is. …?"
“That would be mine,” said a deep voice.
The oak front doors had swung open. Students beside them scuttled out of the was as Dumbledore appeared in the entrance. …
“Yours, Professor Dumbledore?” said Umbridge with a singularly unpleasant little laugh. "I'm afraid you do not understand the position. I have here … an Order of Dismissal signed by myself and the Minister of Magic. Under the terms of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts has the power to inspect, place upon probation, and sack any teacher she – that is to say, I – feel is not performing up to the standard required by the Ministry of Magic. I have decided that Professor Trelawney is not up to scratch. I have dismissed her."…
“You are quite right, of course, Professor Umbridge. As High Inquisitor you have every right to dismiss my teachers. You do not, however, have the authority to send them away from the castle. I am afraid,” he went on, with a courteous little bow, "that the power to do that still resides with the headmaster, and it is my wish that Professor Trelawney continue to live at Hogwarts."…
Professor Umbridge was standing stock-still, staring at Dumbledore, who continued to smile benignly.
“And what,” she said in a whisper that nevertheless carried all around the entrance hall, "are you going to do with her once I appoint a new Divination teacher who needs her lodgings?"
“Oh, that won't be a problem,” said Dumbledore pleasantly. "You see, I have already found us a new Divination teacher, and he will prefer lodgings on the ground floor."
“You've found —?” said Umbrdige shrilly. "You've found? Might I remind you, Dumbledore, that under Educational Decree Twenty-two —"
“— the Ministry has the right to appoint a suitable candidate if — and only if — the headmaster is unable to find one,” said Dumbledore. "And I am happy to say that on this occasion I have succeeded. May I introduce you?…
“This is Firenze,” said Dumbledore happily to a thunderstruck Umbridge. "I think you'll find him suitable."

Whew! That was tiring. Still, every time I read this it makes me say, "Yeah, Dumbledore! All right!"


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Regan of Gong - May 15, 2005 11:50 pm (#276 of 331)

That's what’s so funny about Dumbledore, he's always very polite and never seems sarcastic. He's an exceptional character. I especially like him telling Rita Skeeter about how he enjoyed her description of him when she was writing a report on the International Confederation of Warlocks and described him as a "doddery old fool".

Sorry if the quote's incorrect, my brother seems to have stolen GoF, while I was half-way through it.

Regan


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TwinklingBlueEyes - May 16, 2005 12:39 am (#277 of 331)

“Enchantingly nasty,” said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling. "I particularly enjoyed your description of me as an obsolete dingbat." Rita Skeeter didn't look remotely abashed. "I was just making the point that some of your ideas are a little old-fashioned, Dumbledore, and that many wizards in the street -" "I will be delighted to hear the reasoning behind the rudeness, Rita," said Dumbledore, with a courteous bow and a smile, ..."

...doesn't miss a trick, that man...


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T Brightwater - May 16, 2005 5:07 am (#278 of 331)

I still love Dumbledore's first speech. Here's the Great Wizard, Grand Pooh-Bah of Everything in the WW, and the "few words" he wants to say are "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" Jo couldn't have done a better job of establishing his character right from the start.


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Finn BV - May 16, 2005 8:43 am (#279 of 331)

I don't have my book right now, but I love that quote about the Hogwarts School Song and then Fred and George singing it to a slow funeral march. :-)


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Regan of Gong - May 17, 2005 2:08 am (#280 of 331)

Thank you, Twinkling Blue Eyes, exactly the quote I was thinking of but couldn't quite remember. I have since stolen GoF back from my brother.


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Aqualu Nifey - May 17, 2005 5:30 pm (#281 of 331)
Edited May 17, 2005 6:31 pm

'They run off eckeltricity, do they?' he said knowledgeably. 'Ah, yes, I can see the plugs. I collect plugs,' he added to Uncle Vernon. 'And batteries. Got a very large collection of batteries. My wife thinks I'm mad, but there you are.' Uncle Vernon clearly thought that he was mad, too.
'It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.'


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Ruthie - May 18, 2005 3:32 am (#282 of 331)

Can't remember exactly but when Harry falls over in front of the Knight Bus in POA "Choo 'doin down there?" "I fell over" said Harry "Choo fall over for?" sniggered Stan "I didn't do it on purpose!"

and

“Can I offer you a cough drop Dolores?”

I HATE that laugh lol. Go McGonagall!


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Blaise Zabini - May 23, 2005 6:51 pm (#283 of 331)

This is from the CoS movie; I don't remember if it was in the books.

“Follow the spiders? Why couldn't it be follow the butterflies?”--Ron

“Eat Slugs!” –Ron

lol I always laugh at that one =]


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applepie - May 24, 2005 7:25 am (#284 of 331)

Ruthie, the Knight Bus is one of my favorites too. My kids and I do the interpretation all the time.


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Griselda Marchbanks - Jun 3, 2005 5:01 am (#285 of 331)

My favourite quotes are from McGonagall. "Tripe, Sibyll?" and "Can I offer you a cough drop, Dolores?"


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Miriam Huber - Jun 6, 2005 11:20 am (#286 of 331)

At the moment my favorite quote is not funny, but I often think about it. It is Dumbledore saying at the end of OoP that it is his fault Sirius died -

“ . . . or almost entirely my fault. I will not be so arrogant as to claim responsibility for the whole.”

This is such a wise comment! Even in blaming ourselves for something we can be arrogant, believing everything depends on our acts and thoughts.

I hope Harry thinks about that remark in HBP and applies it to himself, too.


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Soul Mate for Sirius - Aug 30, 2005 10:15 am (#287 of 331)
Edited Aug 30, 2005 12:08 pm

Okay, I'm at work and don't have all my books with me, but I DO have CoS, so I'll start by listing my favorites from there. (So sorry if they've been mentioned before, but I don't have time to read through all the posts!)

When Mrs. Weasley confronts Mr. Weasley about the flying car: "Yes, Arthur, cars," said Mrs. Weasley, her eyes flashing. "Imagine a wizard buying a rusty old car and telling his wife all he wanted to do with it was take it apart to see how it works, while really he was enchanting it to make it fly." Mr. Weasley blinked. "Well, dear, I think you'll find that he would be quite within the law to do that, even if -- er -- he maybe would have done better to, um, tell his wife the truth..."

“Famous Harry Potter,” said Malfoy. "Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."

“If we stop now, we'll have to forfeit the match!” said Harry. "And we're not losing to Slytherin just because of a crazy Bludger! Come on, Oliver, tell them to leave me alone!" "This is all your fault," Geoge said angrily to Wood. "'Get the Snitch or die trying'; what a stupid thing to tell him --"

“You read too much, Hermione.” -Ron

On why Neville bought amulets to protect himself from the Hier of Slytherin: "They went for Filch first," Neville said, his round face fearful. "And everyone knows I'm almost a Squib."

Harry smiled feebly. Deliberately causing mayhem in Snape's Potions class was about as safe as poking a sleeping dragon in the eye.

Professor, Harry gasped. "Your bird -- I couldn't do anything -- he just caught fire--" To Harry's astonishment, Dumbledore smiled. "About time, too," he said. "He's been looking dreadful for days; I've been telling him to get a move on."

“Wait till everyone finds out you've got a tail!”

Peeve's song: "Oh, Potter, you rotter, oh, what have you done, You're killing off students, you think it's good fun --"

Fifty points if you can get it throught Myrtle's nose. -Ron

“Hermione'll probably have all the answers when they wake her up! Mind you, she'll go crazy when she finds out we've got exams in three days’ time. She hasn't studied. It might be kinder to leave her where she is till they're over.” -Ron

“You're alive,” she [Myrtle] said blankly to Harry. "There's no need to sound so disappointed." he said grimly, wiping flecks of blood and slime off his glasses. "oh, well...I'd just been thinking...if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet," said Myrtle, blushing silver. "Urgh!" said Ron as the left the bathroom for the dark, deserted corridor outside. "Harry! I think Myrtle's grown fond of you! You've got competition, Ginny!"

“Only a true Gryffindor could have pulled that out of the hat, Harry.” -Dumbledore

But Dobby shouted, 'You shall not harm Harry Potter!' There was a loud bang, and Mr. Malfoy was thrown backward. He crashed down the stairs, three at a time, landing in a crumpled heap on the landing below. He got up, his face livid, and pulled out his wand, but Dobby raised a long, threatening finger. 'You shall go now,' he said fiercely, pointing down at Mr. Malfoy. 'You shall not touch Harry Potter. You shall go now.' -GO DOBBY!

“Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?” said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crows thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?"
"Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..."

Okay, this is extremely long, and I apologize, but I couldn't help myself!!


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Esther Rose - Sep 2, 2005 10:40 am (#288 of 331)

One of my favorites is from OOtP "I am trying to decide on which hex to use on Draco, Professor." or something like that.

Something about the honesty.


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freshwater - Sep 10, 2005 1:32 pm (#289 of 331)

I agree, Esther Rose, it's the honesty and the fearlessness. Makes you feel proud of Harry, doesn't it?


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Soul Mate for Sirius - Sep 11, 2005 4:02 pm (#290 of 331)

Yes it does freshwater. I love that quote too!!

-Jenn


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Pinky Prime - Jun 6, 2006 5:27 pm (#291 of 331)
Edited Jun 6, 2006 6:28 pm

Don't have a copy at the moment, dunno if I got it right. Fred and George's WWW shop sign that reads. Why worry about you know who when you should be worried about You Know POO! The constipation sensation that's sweeping the nation. The funny part was when Molly says "they'll be murdered in their sleep" under her breath.

I thought Ron tossed around the word not the acronym SPEW like he was about to hurl if there were any more suggestions from Hermione. Life might just get too boring for Harry without Ron.

These were some of the funniest moments for me.


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freshwater - Jun 8, 2006 5:19 pm (#292 of 331)

You are so right, PP. The window ad is funny enough, but it's Molly's murmured "They'll be murdered in their beds" that cracks me up!


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TomProffitt - Jun 9, 2006 4:17 pm (#293 of 331)

Lots of great lines, but up until HBP the "are you a witch or not?" line was my favorite. But now I catch myself giggling just thinking about all of Professor Trelawney's nicknames for the horse, I mean, Dobbin, I mean Firenze.


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deletedaccount - Jul 4, 2006 1:49 pm (#294 of 331)

I like the sign in HBP where the twins are advertising You No Poo.


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haymoni - Jul 5, 2006 4:43 am (#295 of 331)

Ron's Uranus joke always gets me.



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Tom Marvolo Riddleton - Jul 5, 2006 7:38 pm (#296 of 331)

'I think I'd better do the actual stealing,” Hermione continued in a matter-of-fact tone. "You two will be expelled if you get into any more trouble, and I've got a clean record. So all you need to do is cause enough mayhem to keep Snape busy for five minutes or so." Harry smiled feebly. Deliberately causing mayhem in Snape's Potions class was about as safe as poking a sleeping dragon in the eye.'

“I wish I knew why someone did try to chuck it, said Harry. "I wouldn't mind knowing how Riddle got an award for special services to Hogwarts either."
"Could've been anything," said Ron. "Maybe he got thirty O.W.L.s or saved a teacher from the giant squid. Maybe he murdered Myrtle; that would've done everyone a favor."

Oh, the irony.


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freshwater - Jul 7, 2006 8:25 pm (#297 of 331)

‘Deliberately causing mayhem in Snape's Potions class was about as safe as poking a sleeping dragon in the eye.’

And you know what they say about tickling a sleeping dragon.....**smirk**


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geauxtigers - Jul 7, 2006 9:12 pm (#298 of 331)
Edited Jul 7, 2006 10:13 pm

LOL!!! Some of my favorites are:

“I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.” -Harry

“Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out the back of his head!” - Harry to Umbridge. ha ha this one cracks me up! All I can say is GO HARRY!!

“You can't give a dementor the old one-two.” lol

“Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front if him wearing Dobby's tea-cozy.” - Ron

“From now on, I don't care of my tea leaves spell 'die Ron, die', I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong.” -Ron

“Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backward.” -Malfoy to Crabbe or Goyle, can't remember which.

“I enjoyed the meetings too. It was like having friends.” -Luna, gotta lover her!

*Oh Potter you rotter* *Oh look what you've done* *You're killing off students* *You think its good fun!* -Peeves*

‘ “I don't want to stay here overnight,” said Harry angrily sitting up and throwing back his covers. "I want to find McLaggen and kill him!"
"I'm afraid that would come under the heading of 'overexertion" Said Madame Pomfrey’

“Oh, very good,” interrupted Snape, his lip curling. "Yes it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. 'Ghosts are transparent'" -Snape ha ha I just crack up over this!

Well I have tons more than this, those are just my favorites!


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Regan of Gong - Jul 8, 2006 6:18 pm (#299 of 331)

I like the quote from Malfoy in the CoS movie to Goyle/Harry. Rough transcipt from what I remember:

Malfoy: “Why are you wearing glasses?”
Goyle/Harry: “Oh I was...reading.”
Malfoy: “Read? I didn't know you could read.:


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deletedaccount - Jul 9, 2006 12:35 pm (#300 of 331)

What was that quote Sirius said in the cave in GoF? I thought that was so true.

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Choices - Jul 9, 2006 4:10 pm (#301 of 331)

Sirius - "If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."

You're right, Mezuzas, it is so true.


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Denise P. - Jul 9, 2006 7:36 pm (#302 of 331)
Edited Jul 9, 2006 8:36 pm

I know it has been said before but it is good enough, you have to revisit it occasionally.

“There's no need to call me 'Sir', Professor.”

I about fell out of my chair when I first read that.


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virginiaelizabeth - Jul 9, 2006 9:08 pm (#303 of 331)

Just read this one and I love it! Too funny, this happened to me once:

'"Hang on..." Harry muttered to Ron. "There's an empty chair at the staff table...Where's Snape?"
“Maybe he's ill!" said Ron hopefully.
“Maybe he's left,” said Harry, "because he missed out on the Defense Against the Dark Arts job again!"
“Or he might have been sacked!” said Ron enthusiastically. "I mean, everyone hates him-"
“Or maybe,” said a cold voice right behind them, "he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train."'

It's not a good feeling at all!!


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geauxtigers - Jul 10, 2006 9:58 am (#304 of 331)

lol, Denise! I also like, "since when have you called me 'sir'?", "Since when have you called me Potter?" It’s not exact, but I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about!

Ginny, when did that happen to you and how come I've never heard this story?!!


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Mediwitch - Jul 10, 2006 1:14 pm (#305 of 331)

Tori, that sounds like a post for YKYAHPLFW!

...when you learn new stories about your sister while posting on the Lex Forum!

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virginiaelizabeth - Jul 13, 2006 5:36 pm (#306 of 331)
Edited Jul 13, 2006 6:37 pm

Just finished CoS and these were some of my favorites!

Harry could hear Lockhart dangling below him, saying, “Amazing! Amazing! This is just like magic!"

AND

“Dear me,” said Dumbledore, shaking his head, his long silver mustache quivering. "Impaled upon your own sword, Gilderoy!"
“Sword?” said Lockhart dimly. "Haven't got a sword. That boy has though." He pointed at Harry. "He'll lend you one."

Lockhart is pretty funny without his memory!


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Choices - Jul 21, 2006 8:58 am (#307 of 331)

I was looking up something else and came across this one:

“Don't be silly, Dawlish,” said Dumbledore kindly. "I'm sure you are an excellent Auror, I seem to remember that you achieved 'Outstanding' in all your N.E.W.T.s, but if you attempt to----er----'bring me in' by force, I shall have to hurt you."


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Muggle Worthy Excuse Committee - Aug 2, 2006 7:27 am (#308 of 331)

Have really enjoyed reading this thread, most of my favourites are already on here but I just had to add this one from HBP, can't remember the chapter but it's Harry's first lesson with DD and they're talking about Rufus Scrimgeour:

“No,” sighed Dumbledore. "He is not very happy with me, either. We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on." Harry grinned.

Love it. Typical DD humour in what is otherwise a serious scene.


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virginiaelizabeth - Aug 2, 2006 4:26 pm (#309 of 331)

Some of my favorite Luna lines:

“Mistletoe,” said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it. "Good thinking," said Luna very seriously. "It's often infested with nargles."

“The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease.”

“You can laugh, but people used to believe there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!”

Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure...


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Thom Matheson - Aug 2, 2006 6:56 pm (#310 of 331)

Scrimgeour talking to the Prime Minister at the beginning of HBP. "Yes Minister, but the other side also knows magic".


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Horcrux - Aug 5, 2006 7:12 pm (#311 of 331)

Trelawny to the class: "'Would anyone like me to help them interpret the shadowy portents within their Orb?' she murmured over the clinking of her bangles.

'I don't need any help,' Ron whispered, 'It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight.'"


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lily.phoenixfire - Aug 14, 2006 3:13 pm (#312 of 331)
Edited Aug 14, 2006 4:14 pm

“No,” sighed Dumbledore. "He is not very happy with me, either. We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on."

“The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease.”

Reading this thread has been a joy. I'm in tears either because I'm laughing or crying. Before I add any of my own I just had to point out that these are two of my favorites. I fell off the sofa when I read this line that Luna said about Aurors (thanks virginiaelizabeth) and I totally agree Muggle Worthy Excuse Committee that line from DD is a classic! I laugh out loud everytime I read it.

Thanks all! Lily


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Lana - Aug 15, 2006 7:04 pm (#313 of 331)

I like this quote because I find it particularly telling of Dumbledore's intelligence and wisdom (as if we need reminding).

“Killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe.”

How true... we often think about things we'd like to do or might do one day, but when it comes down to it, most of us just cannot go against our conscience... especially enough to murder.


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kingdolohov - Aug 19, 2006 11:59 am (#314 of 331)

Luna's Rotfang Conspiracy line was great. The funniest part was trying to imagine Snape's reaction to it. Slughorn probably just laughed, and Trelawney was interested, but we don't know how Snape reacted.


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freshwater - Aug 27, 2006 9:28 am (#315 of 331)

I loved Harry's reaction to it: snorting his mead up his nose in laughter, but not in a way that would embarrass Luna, and his thought "really, it was worth bring Luna just for this" shows his appreciation of her effect upon the others along with his acceptance of her, and enjoyment of her, for herself.


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Horcrux - Aug 28, 2006 4:22 pm (#316 of 331)

for Dumbledore's quote, "Killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe."

But how would he know? has he killed anyone before? Or I wonder if it is just excessive wisdom.


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Madam Pince - Aug 29, 2006 10:09 am (#317 of 331)

Thanks for reminding me of that quote, Horcrux! It led me to re-read what happened to Dumbledore in the cave after he drank the potion, because I was wondering if he was "re-living" the guilt of having killed someone, and now I'm getting started on a whole new theory... Hmmmm... this will take some work.

But anyway, we know that Dumbledore "defeated" the dark wizard Grindelwald, but we don't know definitely that he killed him. I don't think JKR has clarified "defeated" anywhere. Your question is a good one. I do wonder about Dumbledore's ravings in the cave; they certainly sound guilt-ridden. That quote you cite really does sound for some reason as though it comes from personal experience. Can't believe I missed that before! Thanks!


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Phoenix - Aug 31, 2006 7:36 pm (#318 of 331)

Luna is a favorite of mine...I love it when she commentates the Hufflepuff-Gryffindor match, particularly when she says:
“And Harry Potter's now having an argument with his Keeper...I don't think that'll help him find the Snitch, but maybe it's a clever ruse...."


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virginiaelizabeth - Sep 1, 2006 12:14 pm (#319 of 331)

I also just love Luna. I think some of the best quotes in the books come from her.

'"I liked the DA too. It was like having friends" This was one of those uncomfortable things Luna often said.'

That's a classic too.


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Meoshimo - Sep 1, 2006 3:59 pm (#320 of 331)

One of my favorite passages is in, I think, Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry, Ron, and Hermione interrupt Dumbledore trying to comfort Hagrid about his giant ancestry. On his way out, there is a fleeting mention that Dumbledore stops to scratch Fang's ears. I like that being a great wizard such as he is, he still appreciates and takes pleasure in things like petting dogs, etc.


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Phoenix - Sep 1, 2006 9:42 pm (#321 of 331)

You're right - that is classic! I really like what JKR does with her characters. Luna, as offbeat as she is, she's the only one that is able to comfort Harry when Sirus died. And Dumbledore was so down to earth and human. That made him truly great.


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Mezzanine - Sep 8, 2006 9:12 am (#322 of 331)
Edited by Sep 8, 2006 10:13 am

I have sooo many quotes which I genuinely like, that I wouldn't know where to start.

I generally really like everything that DD says, he's a genius; this one hasn't been mentioned so often (I think) on the forum. Don't remember the exact quote; DD says it to Voldemort in OotP when they're dueling in the Ministry, something like: “Merely taking your life would not satisfy me, I admit.”

And of course: "There's no need to call me 'Sir', Professor."


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legolas returns - Sep 8, 2006 10:04 am (#323 of 331)

I love all Dumbledores lines in HBP. Every one of them is amusing unless its direct giving of information.


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Mezzanine - Sep 9, 2006 3:04 am (#324 of 331)

I love all Dumbledores lines in HBP. legolas returns

especially if he says them in his ‘picnic’ or ‘having tea’ voice !


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virginiaelizabeth - Sep 9, 2006 1:14 pm (#325 of 331)
Edited Sep 9, 2006 2:15 pm

My absolute favorite line that Dumbledore uses that 'picnic or having tea voice' is:

“Well- it's just that you seem to be laboring under the delusion that I am going to- what is the phrase? 'Come quietly.' I am afraid am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius. I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban, I could break out of course-but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing.”

And

“Don't be silly, Dawlish,' said DUmbledore kindly. 'I'm sure you are an excellent Auror, I seem to remember that you achieved 'Outstanding' in all your N.E.W.T.s, but if you attempt to-er-'bring me in'by force, I will have to hurt you.”

Soo Dumbledore. He keeps his cool in the most stressful situations, I think that's part of what makes him such a great wizards-he never freaks out about something, he stays calm and sensable.


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Mezzanine - Sep 9, 2006 1:56 pm (#326 of 331)

Virginiaelizabeth you said: "Soo Dumbledore. He keeps his cool in the most stressful situations, I think that's part of what makes him such a great wizards-he never freaks out about something, he stays calm and sensible." I completely agree. Dumbledore keeps a cool head on his shoulders in a funny (for the reader) manner. I'll add three more examples to illustrate this:

His picnic voice:
‘It was a bleak, harsh view, the sea and the rock unrelieved by any tree or sweep of grass or sand. "What do you think ?" asked Dumbledore. He might have been asking Harry's opinion on whether it was a good site for a picnic’.

His discussing-the-matter-over-drinks voice:
“There is nothing worse than death, Dumbledore!” snarled Voldemort. "You are quite wrong," said Dumbledore, still closing in upon Voldemort and speaking as lightly as tough they were discussing the matter over drinks.

and more:
“Dumbledore's army, Cornelius,” said Dumbledore, still smiling as he waved the list of names before Fudge's face. "Not Potter's Army, Dumbledore's Army." "But -- but --" Understanding blazed suddenly in Fudge's face. He took a horrified step backward, yelped, and jumped out of the fire again. "You?" he whispered, stamping again on his smoldering cloak. "That's right," said Dumbledore pleasantly. "You organised this ?" "I did," said Dumbledore. […] "Then you have been plotting against me!" he yelled. "That's right," said Dumbledore cheerfully. […] "Well, well, well — I came here tonight expecting to expel Potter and instead –" "Instead you get to arrest me," said Dumbledore smiling. "It's like losing a Knut and finding a Galleon, isn't it ?"


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Mezzanine - Sep 9, 2006 2:06 pm (#327 of 331)

And nevertheless when he means something, he means it and makes an excellent point:

“You are blinded,” said Dumbledore, his voice rising now, the aura of power around him palpable, his eyes blazing once more, "by the love of the office you hold, Cornelius! You place too much importance, and you always have done, on the so-called purity of blood! You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow up to be!"

“Cornelius, I am ready to fight your men -- and win again!” said Dumbledore in a thunderous voice.


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Choices - Sep 9, 2006 4:17 pm (#328 of 331)
Edited Sep 9, 2006 5:17 pm

Even as Dumbledore is dying on the tower, he is so cool under fire....

“Good evening, Amycus,” said Dumbledore calmly, as though welcoming the man to a tea party. "And you've brought Alecto too. Charming....."
The woman gave an angry little titter. "Think your little jokes'll help you on your deathbed then?" she jeered.
“Jokes? No, no, these are manners,” replied Dumbledore.


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Meoshimo - Sep 14, 2006 9:53 pm (#329 of 331)

Nods fondly*

Dumbledore is the one character that I have fully developed in my imagination.


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Starling - Sep 20, 2006 6:46 am (#330 of 331)
Edited Sep 20, 2006 7:47 am

Ahh, Luna!

“He did the commentaries last time, of course, and Ginny Weasley flew into him. I think probably on purpose - it looked like it.”

Ya think?

“Loser's lurgy.“

I do love Luna, I hope she and Neville will be very happy together. Wink


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Wanda - Mar 19, 2007 9:04 am (#331 of 331)
Edited by Mar 19, 2007 9:06 am

I love all the quotes everyone has mentioned. Here are a few I haven't seen on this thread yet (sorry, don't have books with me so might not be too accurate):

'Fine, go naked! And Harry, make sure you get a picture. God knows I could do with a laugh' - Molly on dress robes

'I don't mean to be rude, but...' - Vernon. 'And yet, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best not to say anything at all' - DD

'Yeah, what did Vicky say?' - Ron, rubbing his neck (he turns so fast he cricks his neck, LOL!)

'Dobbin', 'usurping nag', 'the horse' etc. - Everything Trelawney says on Firenze makes me LOL

'I suppose this is Felix Felicis and not Essence of Insanity' - Ron on Harry getting Slughorn's memory

'When 13 dine together, the first one to rise will be the first to die' - Trelawney at Christmas. 'We'll risk it, Sybill' - McGonagall

'Which one of you arose first?' - Trelawney. 'I doubt it matters unless there's a mad axeman waiting in the Entrance Hall' - McGonagall. Harry and Ron left dinner and went into the Entrance Hall, which was completely devoid of mad axemen.

And I'm sure there are loads others I've forgotten.


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