Archive of Five Words Stories

Potteraholic Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:21 am

This story was first posted by Tazzygirl - Jun 15, 2007 9:22 am (#2915 of 2960) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Potty Five Words: "Clues and Pebbles"

Hermione sat in her usual spot in the common room. She glanced around the room to be sure no one could see what she was doing. Carefully she opened a clear container full of large red shimmering pebbles that looked like Blast-Ended Skrewt eggs. She took one out and slipped it into the fireplace. It caught fire and disappeared. Hermione smiled. This was the greatest idea ever! This process, if her calculations were correct, would mean that each one she burnt, ended up at 12 Grimmauld Place instantly, allowing the Order to find the clues that were being sent by the mysterious stranger. The mysterious stranger had sent twelve Clues so far, each one started with the same words – 'Magical ways long forgot.' Hermione jumped as a figure appeared silently beside her.

"What are you doing here, I thought you were in bed," said Romilda.

"I was, but I couldn't sleep so I came down to do some reading..." Her voice trailed as Winky suddenly appeared, hiccupping slightly. "Winky! What's the matter?" Hermione rushed to her, pushing Romilda aside. Winky swayed before falling on the floor.

"Eeeewwww! She's filthy and smells like she hasn't ever touched soap."

"Quiet!" Hermione whispered, "I think she is coming around."

Winky was starting to mouth something which sounded like "Bumble snores haunts box."

Looking thoroughly puzzled, Hermione asked "Dumbledore wants socks? Whatever can that mean? It must be another clue!"

"A clue?" questioned Romilda. "What on earth do you mean? Are you crazy?" With a look of complete disgust, Romilda left.

Hermione shook her head and began to pace the floor, her mind working overtime to figure out what on earth was going on. Winky just sat there swaying back and forth and muttering nonsense words. "I've got to wash the cat" she muttered. "It's very dirty, disgusting and smells of -hic- rat.”

"Which cat, Winky?" asked Hermione. Winky turned her big eyes to Hermione and began to mumble about Mrs. Norris and her horrible friend Filch, who slopped paint on her tea cozy. Her mutterings faded away as Hermione grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the Portrait hole. "Winky we've got to go and see a man about a cat!"

Meanwhile Sirius was collecting the pebbles sent by Hermione. She had only sent him five, which meant she had been interrupted. He opened the jar which contained a preservative and placed the pebbles inside. "I wonder what will happen if it happens we are all wrong?" muttered Sirius. Suddenly, a hand appeared in the fireplace. "Who is that?" He watched the hand point towards the cupboard where Kreacher slept. Curious, Sirius approached the "nest" and pulled back the blanket. "AAAHHH!" Sirius was shocked to see mounds of crawling bugs. They ran into the kitchen to grab a container to ride to Azkaban in. They left quickly. Sirius frowned and looked towards Kreacher who turned and said, "Your Mudblood friend will not win. The clues went somewhere else as well."

"What do you mean, Kreacher?"

"Oh, Mistress would be happy. Kreacher has managed to stop the Mudblood girl's clues. Kreacher sent copies to deserving wizards."

Sirius shook him. "Kreacher, you miserable little troll. Tell me who you sent them to!"

"Kreacher is not telling Master. Master is associating with Mudbloods." Sirius grabbed Kreacher and shook him until his ears flapped. “Why you filthy little—"

"Sirius! Please put Kreacher down and come with me. Winky just told me about Mrs. Norris!" Dumbledore had strolled into the kitchen. Hermione was with him, looking anxious. "Miss Granger has informed me of your communications. We need to leave now for we have much to do."

Sirius dropped Kreacher who landed on a dropped fork. Grinning, Sirius quickly followed Dumbledore and Hermione up to the top of the staircase to the room with the portrait of Buckbeak, in full flight. Hermione walked to a table and turned the lamp on. Instantly they were transported to a room that looked strangely familiar... it was the Room of Requirement...but it was set up to resemble the inside of a pumpkin. Orange mush fell from the ceiling and slid down Dumbledore's hat.

"Why have we come here when clearly a peach would be more appropriate?"

Hermione sat down. "Why would a peach be more help?"

Dumbledore peered over his spectacles. "Hasn't anyone ever read Hogwarts, A History? Surely you, Miss Granger, knows the pumpkin was the favorite squash of the infamous Hogwartian creature, the Giant Squid?" Dumbledore twinkled.

"Yes, sir. But why are peaches so important? I don't understand. What's going on? What difference does a peach make?"

"Peaches taste better than pumpkins, and therefore are a key ingredient to attracting the Giant Squid into solving these clues."

"Oh! Professor, then shouldn't we go down to the lake?"

"Why yes! After you, Miss Granger!" beamed Dumbledore.

They walked briskly through the castle. Peeves was busy writing rude words on the blackboard as they rushed past.

"You misspelled that!" remarked Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling.

Peeves raised his hat and quipped, "Thank you, your Headshipness!"

In a few minutes they had arrived by the edge of the lake. Dumbledore kneeled down and dived into the water. "Should we follow?" asked Hermione.

"Here. I just happen to have some gillyweed, Madame," said Winky. She pulled a small bag of the plant out of her pocket and handed it to Hermione.

"Eeewww! I don't want to eat this!"

"No need," said Dumbledore. He cast a bubble head on Hermione as he surfaced, then together, they set off towards the middle of the lake, where they came upon a pack of mermaids lazily swimming and gliding beside some ghosts.

"We're looking for Myrtle, there is something extremely important we have to ask her, and in return we will give her a deluxe bathroom to haunt.

Dumbledore smiled and shook his head. "We have no time to help. We need her to see the Giant Squid. I suspect he must be wondering where we intend to place the clues."

"Dumbledore, why the Giant Squid? What is his involvement?" asked Hermione.

"He knows how to piece those clues together. Ah, there he is now!" They watched as a massive dark squid swam up to them. But suddenly, Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen!

"Where'd he go?" Hermione said to herself. The squid motioned them to follow. He led them towards a giant chasm in the center of a large underwater cave. On the bottom, there was an opening through which an eerie blue light could be seen as they swam towards it. The squid entered the chasm first as the light turned red with a loud bang. Hermione looked slightly taken aback. "Is this safe?" Then before their eyes, the giant squid's wife appeared from behind a rock carrying the pebbles Hermione had been sending. Hermione's eyes filled with tears, "I can't believe it's you! But, then Dumbledore must be, no that can't be right..."

"We'd better get back," Sirius replied, urgently grabbing Hermione's arm.

Minutes later, they reached the waters surface. Hermione gasped as she saw a large figure striding towards them, carrying a pink umbrella.

"Hey! You lot! Wha' do you think yer doin' in - oh. I didn't realize it wa' you Sirius. Where's Dumbledore?" he said.

"Look behind you!" replied an arrogant voice to their left. Dumbledore was lying on the ground pointing his wand at Draco Malfoy, who was standing by the lakeside. "Draco, here are your magical pebbles," said Dumbledore. "Use them well." And with a loud "Crack" Dumbledore conjured a squashy chair and a stone cauldron. "Now who has the gillyweed?" Winky pulled her apron pocket wide to reveal the gillyweed was missing!

"Winky, what happened to it?" asked Hermione patiently, "Try the pocket at the side in case it's there." Smiling Winky produced a small handful of green sliminess.

"Thank you, Winky. Now if you would please pass it too me so I will be able to return to Twelve Grimmauld Place. Sirius, do you have an extra broomstick I could borrow?"

"Um, not with me. They're back at the house, but we could use Hagrid's fireplace."

"Excellent!" With that, Dumbledore strode across the lawn and into Hagrid's house. They stepped inside and were greeted by Fang. "Hello, Fang," he said and moved towards the fire. Hagrid handed him the Floo powder and wished them well. Moments later they were in the kitchen of number twelve. It was hot in there from all the pebbles that had burst when Dumbledore had sent them onwards. They sizzled and popped like popcorn. Dumbledore swept them into a pile and turned to Sirius. "What a daft way to get rid of those pebbles!” said Dumbledore. "I usually transfigure them into a block of ice and slide down the stairs."

Then it came to Hermione. She knew exactly what the clues meant! "Professor! I figured out what is going on! Draco has been transfiguring salamanders into pebbles. He's the one sending me these clues! Its Weasley's Whizzbang fireworks! He's trying to blow up Headquarters! What are we doing standing here! Sirius! Go fetch Winky and Dobby, and search Hogwarts for Dumbledore's Army members."

"There's no need for that, Miss Granger," said Dumbledore. "What we need to do now is capture Draco and take away the fireworks. Simple, I know, but it will work! Let us endeavor to achieve the eradication of evil forces with the simplest of incantations."

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Potteraholic Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:27 am

These stats were first posted by Tazzygirl - Jun 15, 2007 9:24 am (#2917 of 2960) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Statistics for Story 48
ordered by first contribution to the story

User	# of Submissions
Puck	71
Tazzygirl	15
Snuffles	55
virginiaelizabeth2	23
geauxtigers!	64
azi	30
Ydnam96	26
Good Evans	23
Phelim Mcintyre	3
Finn BV	5

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 315
Total Words: 1575
Last Submission Date: #2913, June 14, 2007, 2:08 A.M. (Snuffles)
Total Time to Create Story: 15 days, 23 hours, 5 minutes.

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Potteraholic Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:28 am

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 12:05 am (#2936 of 2977) [Edited Dec 30, 2010 12 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Post-Story Comments for Story #48, Volume IV,
Potty Five Words: "Clues and Pebbles"

This story was written from May 29, 2007, 2007 to June 14, 2007. Ten writers contributed to the story, which is 1,575 words long. Two of the ten writers posted feedback.

- Puck, Jun 15, 2007 1:10 pm: That last story just rambled all over, didn't it?

- geauxtigers!, Jun 16, 2007 6:09 pm: That last story was all over the place...ha ha

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Potteraholic Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:45 am

This page contains a list with links to all the stories written in Volume V.

Five Words Stories - Volume V

• Click on Story #49 (6 July 2007) for "The Sparkly Sandals"

• Click on Story #50 (29 July 2007) for "Springtime for Slytherin", Story 50: Our Golden Anniversary

• Click on Story #51 (21 August 2007) for "The Rocking Chair Prophecy"

• Click on Story #52 (7 September 2007) for "Snape and the Jobberknoll"

• Click on Story #53 (7 October 2007) for "The Hyde Park Picnic"

• Click on Story #54 (11 November 2007) for "Colin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"

• Click on Story #55 (29 November 2007) for "The Three-Horned Creature's Wax Seal"

• Click on Story #56 (6 December 2007) for "The Trouble with Time"

• Click on Story #57 (16 December 2007) for "Chester"

• Click on Story #58 (1 January 2008) for "The Battle of Hogwarts: Part I"

• Click on Story #59 (8 January and 15 January 2008) for "The Urn of Agrippa"
(Note: two alternate endings were written for this story. When World Crossing reset their system while working on the on-going sync problem, some posts were deleted from this thread; however the portion here was the part saved on a personal computer and constitutes Ending A. Ending B consists of the story which is completely available on this thread.)

• Click on Story #60 (22 January 2008) for "A Playground Memory"

• Click on Story #61 (28 January 2008) for "Molly's Birthday Surprise"

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:49 pm

This story was first posted by Finn BV - Jul 7, 2007 3:40 am (#423 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Potty Five Words: "The Sparkly Sandals"

The centaur herd moved cautiously into the clearing. A silvery mist filled the air.

“Tonight it will happen at last. Saturn is rising, and Uranus can be seen—” Laughter interrupted Bane’s proclamation, a high-pitched cackle which could only belong to Madam Marsh, that meddling monkey head!

“Sorry to interrupt,” she said, “but I’ve brought you a gift, something which my friend Dolores thought you would enjoy.” Carefully she placed a wicker basket on the floor and walked away, smirking. One of the herd kicked the basket over. There was a hissing noise coming from it, which intensified as the basked rolled off it. It was the ugliest, scrawniest cat any of the centaurs had ever seen. The kitty meowed, and fixed its yellow eyes upon Bane, who took a step backwards, taking care not to tread on another centaur’s hooves.

Slowly, the cat crept around the clearing, occasionally hissing to try and scare the centaurs. Ronan sneezed. “Sorry, I’m allergic to those creatures,” he sniffed. “I prefer dogs.”

Bane shook his head angrily. “These cats are harbingers of doom, feral beasts sent by humans. We cannot allow it to touch us! It has giant fleas and…”

Suddenly Professor McGonagall emerged from a thicket. She looked relieved to see the cat. “Come here, you cat,” purred Professor McGonagall. “Here Tabitha!”

The cat sulked up to McGonagall and changed back into human form. The woman named Tabitha straightened up and walked quickly to the center of the clearing. McGonagall and the centaurs eyed her suspiciously. “Why did Madam Marsh bring you here?” Minerva asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? The centaurs think Mars is brighter than usual, which means grindylows are hunting for people in Lake Waddiwasi. Where is Bane?” she asked suddenly.

“I’m right here. What do you want? I have no time for common humans like you.”

“Well, centaurs aren’t bright tonight! You need us to help you observe the passing of astrological signs in the sky which cannot be seen without — THESE!” Tabitha reached into her robes and produced some charts of constellations. “According to these, Jupiter should be—”

“Enough! We know much more than you, human!” roared Bane. “Do not pretend to understand what is read by centaurs. We have knowledge you are too dim to understand.”

“Tabitha, come with me,” snapped McGonagall. “If you don’t, I’ll turn you into a tabby-striped pygmy puff!” Tabitha muttered a few words and reluctantly followed McGonagall towards the castle. “Tabitha, I have a reason for keeping Bane on good terms with us and your insulting them isn’t going to do us any good.”

“My dear sister Minnie, you never have understood how truly devious I am. Those centaurs will need your help to negotiate between themselves and the giants who are currently hiding in the next valley.”

Professor McGonagall raiser her eyebrows in disdain. “Once again, you show your ignorance. The centaurs know perfectly well that the giants are nearby, and they know how to deal with them. But, if you think you can handle the giants…”

“Me? Er… well now, I never said that I – personally – would… er… you’re so much better at handling these situations than I am. You should go talk to them!” said Tabitha enthusiastically. “Yes, you’ve got more experience with these things.”

Minerva said sharply, “Langlock!”

Tabitha’s mouth twitched, and she gurgled unpleasantly. “Enough!” barked Minerva. “The centaurs know what hey need to do and they don’t need your help. Now go back and tell Umbridge that I think she is a foul git and what she did was totally unjustified. I will be writing a major complaint to the Ministry and I will ask for her dismissal. With the help of the centaurs I shall be able to prove that Delores is attempting to incite the giants into fighting and the destruction of the Wizarding world! She has to be stopped and my school and I will do just that. Come back with me and help to quash her rebellious ways!” Tabitha stood with her mouth hanging open. “Why would Umbridge do anything which might make her a criminal? She likes the easy life and won’t to lose the power she worked…”

Tabitha’s voice trailed off as she looked towards the edge of the forest. A short, squat figure was standing there, cowering. An enormous man appeared behind her. “Found her, Professor. She was trying to break into the Astronomy tower.”

“Thank you, Hagrid. Have Grawp keep her in captivity while I send a message to the Order of the Phoenix. Tabitha, come with me.” McGonagall set off toward the castle, her sister at her heels.

As they approached the doors, Snape came running out of the castle, screaming. “They’re here! The purple sandals I ordered are finally here! Look, Minerva! See how they sparkle when I dance!” Snape soft-shoed across the steps, flicking his heels as he went.

“Someone has Confunded him,” said Minerva.

Tabitha liked him better that way. “He seems so much more happy, Minnie. Let’s keep him like this. I’m sure everyone will appreciate the improvement…”

Minerva raised her eyebrows before exclaiming, “You did this, you troublesome twit! How dare you come to Hogwarts and meddle in situations you know nothing about.”

“I was just trying to help you, Minnie. I didn’t think you liked Old McGreasy that much. I suppose you’re far too mature to find the funny side!” Tabitha hurrumphed.

“If you’re going to sulk you can sit in the corner. Behave like a child and get treated like a child!”

Snape danced past them both and hooked his cane around his wrist. “Fancy a dance, Minerva?”

McGonagall pointed her wand at Snape. “Sorry, Severus, but you’ll regret this if I don’t act now.” Her wand pointing at Snape, she said, “Actus Normalus!” There was a flash of light and Severus stopped dancing, a horrified expression dawning on his face.

“WHAT HAPPENED? WHY I AM WEARING SPARKLY SANDALS?”

“You look very pretty, I think!” grinned Tabitha.

Minerva stepped quickly between them. “You… you…” spluttered Snape, but he didn’t dare draw his wand for the fear of McGonagall’s wrath. She looked furious. Even Tabitha was looking wary!

“We will sort this out later. Severus, we’ve caught Dolores trying to destabilize the Wizarding world.”

Snape’s scowl disappeared. He pointed his wand at his feet. Wordlessly, he transformed the glitzy sandals into staid black shoes.

“The purple ones were much nicer,” Tabitha grinned.

Minerva snorted, her eyebrows raised. “You just concentrate on sorting this mess out.”

“Oh, you haven’t got to worry, Minnie! Everything is being put back to normal, you just wait and see! I’ve got a list of things to do and once Fred and George get the order I have placed with them, we’ll be set.”

“What order, and what is on that list?” McGonagall snatched the paper from her sister’s hand and began to read. Her eyes widened with shock. “You are mad!” she exclaimed. “How is this going to work? Giants are completely stupid. Do you really think you can get them to do these things?”

Severus snatched the parchment and scrutinized it. “The order for a bottle of Ogden’s Firewhiskey isn’t really going to make the Giants so drunk they can fall asleep. I suspect they will simply become more prone to violence.”

Tabitha opened her mouth to argue but Minerva intervened. “We haven’t got time. We must address the head Gurg directly and get him to see the good side, the right side!”

Tabitha tried to slink away, but Minerva flicked her wand and ropes wrapped around her. “Minnie! That’s not fair, I—”

“Be quiet, you’re under a spell also, it seems. I am not taking it off until we reach the place where the giants are hiding.” They got their broomsticks and started to climb upon them. In the distance, they heard a booming sound.

“What was that?” asked Professor McGonagall, alarmed. Lightning flashed across the sky and thunder echoed around the three. They approached a valley. Below them, the giants were chanting a war cry, stamping in muddy puddles. Mud flew into the eye of a giant, who then swiped his hand on a rock and smashed it into pieces. The bits of rock flew everywhere.

“Duck!” yelled Minerva.

“I don’t understand! Why are the giants making so much noise now?” grumbled Snape.

“They like music?” suggested McGonagall.

They landed on the ground to find that the giants were dancing around, their handbags swinging as they danced around a giant maypole. Tabitha looked astounded.

“And these are supposed to be scary?” Minerva suppressed a smirk while two giants started a jitterbug.

“See, I knew dancing would lighten things up a bit!” said Tabitha. “Well, I guess Dolores’ idea wasn’t so terrible.”

Snape sneered at the mention of Umbridge. “You must be mad,” he said silkily. “Nothing that comes out of that preposterous cow could possibly be a good idea!” He glowered as mud hit him — SPLAT — the giants were throwing mud pies and one had hit Severus. Tabitha laughed heartily.

“That’s for being nasty.” Snape glowered and started scanning the sky in the hope that there was a dragon about to swoop down and devour Tabitha.

“We’d better land on that ridge over there, we’re too exposed around here!” said McGonagall. As they rose into the air, they heard a voice roaring in anger. A giant was rushing towards them, attempting to swat them down with his hat, which was made from an old leathery gnome shirt, magically enlarged. The giant missed Severus and Minerva, but smacked Tabitha. She fell off her broom and tumbled comically to the ground. “Ouch!” she exclaimed.

Minnie rolled her eyes and landed neatly next to her sister. “Get up,” she demanded. “This is not the time to be lollygagging!”

The giant was looking around, tying to see where they had landed. “Inside here,” said Snape, gesturing to a large cave.

“It’s filthy! I can’t possibly go in there!”

“You realize that if you don’t, you may be an afternoon snack?”

Minerva marched into the grimy cave, pushing Tabitha in first. “If the giants like music, then perhaps we should summon a musician to calm them.”

“Can we get the Weird Sisters? I bet they would come!”

“Tabitha, you are starting to irritate me. You need to get a grip!” yelled McGonagall.

“Quiet,” hissed Severus. Outside the cave a loud snuffling signalled the giant’s approach. A second later, Tabitha sneezed – loudly. The snuffling suddenly stopped. Snape turned around to a giant hand reaching into the cave. He tried to get away, but the thick fingers grasped him around the waist. Minerva sent a spell at the giant, but it ricocheted and hit Snape squarely in the stomach. Snape doubled over, in pain, and started barking like a dog. A tail appeared, then fur.

“Oh, Minnie,” giggled Tabitha. “I love his new look.”

“WATCH OUT!”

The giant had managed to keep a hold on Snape’s new snarling form. “PUPPY!” said the giant and patted Snape hard on the head, causing him to yelp in pain.

“Relashio!” cried Minerva and the giant released Snape, who began to growl at Tabitha. Sobbing, the giant ran away, tripping over a tree which had been uprooted. McGonagall changed Snape back to a human again, and glared at her crazy sister. She had gotten them into this mess. “That’s it. You’re going to set this mess right! I am tired of cleaning up after you all the time. You are a witch, not an immature child! Grow up and deal with any of these issues! What are you waiting for, an invitation? Get out there and stop those Giants from attacking Hogwarts!”

Tabitha gaped at her sister. Minnie had never trusted her with such a huge task! “Erm… OK. But I’ll need magical dance lessons. I can’t compete with Severus, who is, of course, the world champion.” Severus smirked before he realized that his biggest secret had been released.

“Tabitha!” barked McGonagall.

“It’s okay, McGonagall. I’ve been meaning to tell everybody my true passion is dancing!” said Snape. “I think I might take early retirement from Hogwarts and move to London.”

Shocked, Minerva just stared at both her sister and Snape. She snapped out of it, muttering, “I might be Confunded. Did Severus Snape just say what I think he said?”

“I’m going to perform in Slytherin, The Musical as his great-great-great-great-great-grandson! I’ll be a star!”

“The giants will love it! I’ll give them free tickets!” exclaimed Tabitha. The giants cheered.

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* This volume's stories, stats and post-story comments archived from WX by Verity Weasley; formatted/posted by Potteraholic

Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:55 pm

These stats were first posted by Finn BV - Jul 7, 2007 3:45 am (#425 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Statistics for Story 49
ordered by first contribution to the story

User	# of Submissions
Puck	89
Mrs Brisbee	53
Phelim Mcintyre	11
azi	77
Tazzygirl	18
Ydnam96	1
Snuffles	71
geauxtigers!	33
virginiaelizabeth2	8
Mediwitch	47
Good Evans	7
Finn BV	2

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 417
Total Words: 2085
Last Submission Date: #418, July 5, 2007, 9:17 A.M. (Phelim Mcintyre)
Total Time to Create Story: 20 days, 3 hours, 7 minutes.

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* This volume's stories, stats and post-story comments archived from WX by Verity Weasley; formatted/posted by Potteraholic

Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:57 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 12:06 am (#2937 of 2977) [Edited Dec 30, 2010 2 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Post-Story Comments for Story #49, Volume V,
Potty Five Words: "The Sparkly Sandals"

This story was written from June 15, 2007 to July 5, 2007. Twelve writers contributed to the story, which is 2,085 words long. Six of the twelve writers posted feedback.

- Finn BV, Jul 7, 2007 3:47 am: This was easily one of our wackier stories… and that's saying something! What happened to Madam Marsh?

- azi, Jul 7, 2007 12:44 pm: That was a long story! I am pleased with it though - I quite like the idea that Minerva has an annoying younger sister.

At the rate we're writing stories right now, we'll probably be writing this when book 7 comes out. It'll have to be double special!

- geauxtigers!, Jul 7, 2007 3:31 pm: Wierd story...I liked it!

- Tazzygirl, Jul 7, 2007 8:36 pm: Funny story!

- Mrs Brisbee, Jul 7, 2007 11:38 pm: That last story was amusing. Snape saves the day--by dancing! LOL!

- Mediwitch, Jul 8, 2007 3:55 am: Now THAT story was a wild ride! What fun!

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:00 pm

This story was first posted by Finn BV - Jul 29, 2007 5:44 pm (#581 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Potty Five Words: "Springtime for Slytherin"
(Story 50: Our Golden Anniversary)

The Death Eaters moved silently through the darkened hallways. Ahead, a light was shining from under a closed door. They approached with caution. The Dark Lord was inside the room, pacing about restlessly and muttering distractedly about meddling kids. Harry Potter had given him the slip again! He had foiled Voldemort’s latest attempt to acquire a super-duper killing laser, which was too expensive for him to buy with Lucius in charge. Lucius didn’t want him to use the laser in the vicinity of Harry as it was sure to be disastrous. In fact, Harry had been hoping Voldemort would try avoiding him, but instead they were destined to meet in the Hog’s Head.

Voldie was there, happily sipping on his pineapple mango smoothie. “Oh, I really wish I were an Oscar-winning actor. I am so meant for the silver screen. Anybody who knows me will be devastated that I am just not getting the parts I deserve! In revenge, I shall stage the most melodramatic laser-oriented carnage the world has ever seen — mwa-ha-ha-ha!”

Suddenly the door burst open and in leaped the Death Eaters. Severus had taught them to point their toes and twirl. “We’ve got tickets!” they exclaimed. “We’re going to see Snape on opening night!”

Voldemort sneered. “Springtime for Slytherin will fail miserably. I tried out, but they said my footwork was all wrong, so I killed the choreographer.”

Wormtail stammered, “I h-helped!”

“No you didn’t, you talentless twit! You stepped on my robes and nearly caused them to come off! Imagine my embarrassment in front of my minions!” Voldemort glowered at Wormtail before deciding that he was useful enough to live.

On the other side of the pub sat a diminutive creature, whose bat-like ears were quivering as he listened to the conversation. He clicked his fingers, conjuring a pair of white mice out of thin air. “Dobby needs Rosco and Fifi to go find the Boy Who Lived and tell him Dobby is finding the Dark Lord talking about dancing!”

The mice nodded enthusiastically and disappeared through a crack in the floorboards. Dobby stayed where he was, and continued spying.

In another corner, a Hollywood director also overheard Voldemort’s comments, and decided he was just the right Slytherin for the screen adaptation. He cautiously approached and asked about buying the rights to Springtime for Slytherin so he could make it into a blockbuster film. He coughed nervously as Voldemort surveyed him with disgust. “Where did you get the idea that I wrote that piece of drivel? Stupid Muggle! You obviously have no—”

“I’m not a Muggle! I’m director Alfredus Witchclock, from Nineteenth Century Kneazle pictures!”

“Really? Well then, that changes everything. Please, sit. Can I buy you a drink?”

“I suppose you could. Can we talk price? You are the author. What are you going to insist I keep in the movie version’s plot?”

“Me. I want the lead role! I will be a perfect Salazar!”

The director smiled. “Naturally. And who would be the perfect Godric?”

“Why, that would be me!” Dumbledore smiled at Voldemort. “Who better? I would love to show the world who is the better actor and director.”

Dumbledore bowed towards Voldemort, who let out a hiss.

“Shall we start, then?” asked Witchclock nervously. The unlikely trio Apparated to the NCK studio where a set had already been constructed of early Hogwarts.

“Right, let’s take it from the top,” said Witchclock. Voldemort and Dumbledore took their places. The music began, and they sang:

“Slytherin and Gryffindor should be friends. Oh, Slytherin and Gryffindor should—”

“Cut! You’re off-key!”

Suddenly the door burst open. Harry appeared, accompanied by two other people: Severus Snape and Ron Weasley.

“Hey, you stole my big solo!” Voldemort sobbed.

“Cut the melodrama, Tom,” Harry said. “Dobby told us that you’re planning to use a laser to take down anyone who threatens your singing career!”

Voldemort looked terrified — the laser was due to be delivered on credit Thursday afternoon. He used his best acting skills to convince the seller that he would make timely payments. The seller tipped off Watchclock, who needed the laser for special lighting effects. They would literally bring the house down, making Voldemort’s scheme pale in comparison.

“Dobby sent Snape and Ron as mice to warn the others of this evil plot. The Order of the Phoenix will be here shortly,” said Harry, smirking at Voldemort.

“Curses! Foiled again!” exclaimed Witchclock.

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:02 pm

These stats were first posted by Finn BV - Jul 29, 2007 5:48 pm (#582 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Statistics for Story 50
ordered by first contribution to the story

User	# of Submissions
azi	31
Puck	29
geauxtigers!	13
Tazzygirl	6
Mrs Brisbee	29
Finn BV	9
Mediwitch	10
Snuffles	12
Phelim Mcintyre	7
Herm oh ninny	1

The user in emerald, for Slytherin, is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 147
Total Words: 735
Last Submission Date: #576, July 19, 2007, 5:17 A.M. (Mediwitch)
Total Time to Create Story: 11 days, 23 hours, 17 minutes.

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:03 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 12:06 am (#2938 of 2977) [Edited Dec 30, 2010 2 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Post-Story Comments for Story #50, Volume V,
Potty Five Words: "Springtime for Slytherin"

This story was written from July 7, 2007 to July 19, 2007. Ten writers contributed to the story, which is 735 words long. Two of the ten writers posted feedback.

- azi, Jul 29, 2007 5:57 pm: Oh yey! Loved the last story, short and sweet.

- geauxtigers!, Jul 30, 2007 4:28 am: Last story was good! Short and sweet!

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:07 pm

This story was first posted by Finn BV - Aug 22, 2007 3:24 am (#725 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Potty Five Words: "The Rocking Chair Prophecy"

The trees swayed gently outside as Inigo Imago, author of The Dream Oracle, walked towards Sybill Trelawney as she sat gazing into a crystal ball. “The signs are bad, Inigo. I have gazed for several weeks at a rocking chair with an indistinct figure in its depths. It seems someone is—”

“That looks like a paintbrush! Does that mean we will have to study the art of furniture making? The Spirits told me it’s time to take action. We must learn carpentry, in order to increase the protection which we Seers so desperately need.”

Sybill nodded enthusiastically. “We are in grave danger. Inigo, alert the centaurs at once. They will need to be aware of their own need to carve tables from tree stumps.”

Elsewhere, the centaurs were observing the skies. The night was clear but thunderstorms were drawing nigh and they needed to act quickly before any more Bowtruckles decided to grace them with their presence and steal their pet lice.

“Bane! We need to get out of here! The Bowtruckles are planning to steal our carvings and head north!” cried Inigo.

“Do not fear! Underdog is here!” said a squeaky voice which belonged to a curiously ugly furry crup.

“Who the bloody hell are you?” rumbled Hagrid, who broke through the dense foliage staring down at the crup.

“The planets foreshadowed his arrival! He is here to guide us! Lead on, Underdog!” cried Ronan. They followed Underdog to the edge of the forest and down towards the lake. Suddenly the water started bubbling and slimy tentacles appeared above the surface.

“Anyone have some polos? The Giant Squid likes to eat a few while basking in the sun,” explained Underdog. Ronan and Hagrid looked puzzled. “How do ya know tha’?”

“The Giant Squid and I have known each other for years, ever since he helped me in the Quest for the Great Dog Biscuit.”

Hagrid looked bemused, but searched through his pockets. “I got a dog biscuit right ’ere…” he said. “Will tha’ do?”

“Not for the Squid, but I’ll eat it!” smiled Underdog!

“If you’re done snacking, can we get a move on?” asked a pinto centaur.

Underdog smiled and walked on. They proceeded through the dark forest. They walked in silence until one of the centaurs pointed towards a clearing in the trees. In the center stood a crowd of cheering bowtruckles. Hagrid quickly found some wood lice, and began to toss it to them as the centaurs shivered in fear. “Why is it that these creatures give us the collywobbles?” asked the same pinto centaur, Xander. The other centaurs ignored him.

Underdog raced into the clearing, barking madly. The bowtruckles scattered in different directions leaving behind a pile of divination tools and a star chart. “So they had already stolen our cooking sherry and what looks like my pack of cards!” exclaimed Bane. He bent to retrieve them, but Firenze recognized the things Trelawney had thrown out when she retired. “Those do not belong to you!” Firenze exclaimed, “I have seen Sybill with them on many occasions. How did you end up with them?”

Bane looked sheepish. “I found them,” he stammered. “They were buried beneath the tree near the Quidditch pitch.” He tried to look dignified, but a glance at his eyes betokened his real knowledge of what happened. The other centaurs looked around as Bane sighed and said, “Very well. What do you want me to do to repay her things to her? I thought right now would be the time to hunt Blibbering Humdingers! I’ll return everything later.”

He led them towards the edge of the forest, and to Hagrid’s hut. Inside they began to come up with yet another plan, this time focusing on catching the other mysterious being. Trelawney appeared, clutching her beads in a very tense grip and quickly declared that she didn’t have time for any foolishness, and needed to get her things back. “I need them to find a rocking chair and tell me what that figure is!”

Suddenly, a rocking chair appeared before them and started to rock back and forth. An owl flew by, hooting softly. There was no one there.

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:11 pm

These stats were first posted by Finn BV - Aug 22, 2007 3:28 am (#726 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Statistics for Story 51
ordered by first contribution to the story

User	# of Submissions
azi	35
Finn BV	17
Phelim Mcintyre	1
Tazzygirl	23
geauxtigers!	17
Snuffles	20
Puck	25

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 138
Total Words: 690
Last Submission Date: #721, Aug 20, 2007 3:12 pm (azi)
Total Time to Create Story: 22 days, 4 hours, 15 minutes.

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:13 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 12:09 am (#2939 of 2977) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Post-Story Comments for Story #51, Volume V,
Potty Five Words: "The Rocking Chair Prophecy"

This story was written from July 29, 2007 to Aug 20, 2007. Seven writers contributed to the story, which is 690 words long. Four of the seven writers posted feedback.

- Tazzygirl, Aug 22, 2007 3:38 am: All I can say is... interesting...

- azi, Aug 22, 2007 8:56 pm: Was that the shortest story ever? It seemed to take the longest time...

- Finn BV, Aug 23, 2007 3:38 am: Hehe, azi, some of our very first stories were of that length and time, but this is definitely the shortest in length/longest in time ratio story we've had in a long time. I was saying to Tazzy, typically stories about mythical creatures and beasts are hard for us to carry out.

- geauxtigers!, Aug 23, 2007 4:10 am: T'was a short one! Oldly enough, because no one has been here, this is the only thread I've been able to keep up with since school started back and now everyone is gone!

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:17 pm

This story was first posted by Tazzygirl - Sep 7, 2007 10:32 pm (#875 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Potty Five Words: "Snape and the Jobberknoll"

The vault was filled with gold, and old moldy potion bottles engraved with intricate patterns. Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood gaping at the piles of rubbish amongst the gold and tried to sort out what Snape was thinking. Why had he used Professor McGonagall’s perfume? It just didn’t fit, like Snape washing his hair. Something wasn’t right.

A movement in a cupboard caught the eye. Harry blasted the doors open, and then squinted through the smoke, which was billowing in large purple clouds. “Ron, Hermione! Look, there’s something there!” said Harry as they joined him. “Looks like an animal.”

Suddenly, a jobberknoll flew out, knocking over the various potion bottles and starting to scream as it soared through the room. The long good-bye began with Harry’s “!lamina na ekil skool !ereht gnihtemos’s s’ereht ,kool !enoimerH, noR” then came the strangest noise that sounds like Snape had been singing and splashing something into a bucket.

“What do you suppose…” Harry walked silently forward and picked up the bird. The bird squawked louder and a weird gurgling sound erupted from somewhere to Harry’s left. The trio turned to see someone walking towards them through the smoke. Severus Snape had curly, shiny, salon-washed hair, and brilliant white teeth that glistened in the light.

He was wearing velvety lilac-colored robes with pink tassels - possibly from curtains. A pair of shiny new shoes could only mean one thing - Severus Snape had a date! However, the woman was nowhere to be found. Ron’s mouth fell open as Snape sprayed the perfume into the air, and then dabbed his wrists with some more.

“What are you staring at, Potter?” he spat.

“I was just wondering what all this is about? Perfume and hair-washing? What’s going on?”

Snape looked confused. “I am sure, maybe, I’ve been given a distracting draught. All I remember is that I have a very important meeting and I must look my best!” He then wandered into the cupboard and rummaged around until he found a necklace and gold wristwatch, which he put on. Next, he picked up a black rose and pinned it to his robes.

Harry saw a slight movement to his right and turned to see Dumbledore smiling benignly beside him. The jobberknoll was still sounding its death, regurgitating the sound of a conversation. Dumbledore sighed deeply as the bird dropped to the floor.

“Harry, did you understand what the bird said?”

“It sounded like a warning, but I’ve no idea what it meant! I caught ‘help me’ something, but nothing else.”

Dumbledore placed his fingertips together, thinking. “I believe I know what this means. Severus! Come, let us sit, and I will help you prepare for your big date.” Snape looked surprised, but sad at the elaborately carved oak table. “I think you’d better drink this.” Said Dumbledore, gently. Severus drank, and then pulled a face.

“What’s this?” he demanded. “Why do I need to drink this foul concoction?”

Slowly, a grey figure emerged from the side of the table and started to whisper to Dumbledore. He smiled slightly as it made its way to Snape.

“Severus, this is the reason why you had to drink the potion. You see, this is the jobberknoll’s owner. She understands what is going on and why you shouldn’t meet with Lucius Malfoy. Now drink up before the fizzing stops.”

“But I thought Lucius was mending his old ways? HE promised me a big surprise.”

“His big surprise was nothing more than an attempt to set you up for a nasty, humiliating joke. You’ve been duped into believing that a date had been arranged. Lucius thought this would be hilarious - you turning out like a doll, sitting in a new outfit, wearing women’s perfume. The Daily Prophet had paid Lucius for the exclusive pictures of you with washed hair.”

The color from Snape’s face drained as he realized that he had been fooled. Quietly, he stood up and left, dipping his hair in oil, and could be heard tearing his robes in two. He ground his teeth in anger as Dumbledore brought the jobberknoll to its owner, who smiled as she explained all about her request for help finding it.

“I thought he was looking unwell. I was right.”

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:19 pm

Official Stats
These stats were first posted by Tazzygirl - Sep 7, 2007 10:32 pm (#876 of 2989 on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Statistics for Story 52
ordered by first contribution to the story

User	# of Submissions
azi	45
geauxtigers!	25
Tazzygirl	10
Finn BV	6
Snuffles	13
Phelim Mcintyre	32
Good Evans	8
legolas returns	2

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 141
Total Words: 705
Last Submission Date: #868, September 5, 2007, 7:48 A.M. (Phelim Mcintyre)
Total Time to Create Story: 13 days, 17 hours, 52 minutes.

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:19 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - (date, time, and post # not copied/archived) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Post-Story Comments for Story #52, Volume V,
Potty Five Words: "Snape and the Jobberknoll"

This story was written from August 22, 2007 to September 5, 2007. Eight writers contributed to the story, which is 705 words long. Three of the eight writers posted feedback.

- azi, Sep 7, 2007 10:39 pm: Wow, that story is shorter than I thought! It's one of our better ones though, I think.

- Phelim Mcintyre, Sep 8, 2007 8:46 am: I knew we'd be the top two, but why pass your starting privileges? And was it really that short? Oh well. *Waves back to Azi*  

- Tazzygirl, Sep 8, 2007 11:00 pm: The last story: Poor Snape!! He gets so abused.

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:23 pm

This story was first posted by Finn BV - Oct 7, 2007 8:38 pm (#1048 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Potty Five Words: "The Hyde Park Picnic"

The London underground was chaos. Commuters were dashing through the stations as Arthur and Percy tried to get on board. They were running late for a meeting with Tonks in Hyde Park. Percy was muttering under his breath about the weirdness of his father’s clothes, which included a flat cap, braces, a sleeveless jumper and rah-rah skirt and leggings. “Father, why do you insist on dressing so inappropriately? It’s going to attract attention!”

“Percy, I like the breeze around my ankles.” Arthur glanced around in a very guilty manner and then quickly led the way onto the correct train. He sat opposite Percy and took out the Daily Prophet. The train sped through the station. “Well, I see that Rita Skeeter’s still reporting lies before Harry and Dumbledore. Apparently they have been missing for weeks and she says that they have been seen talking to Newt Scamander about Runespoor being the possibly cure for Sybill’s mental status. Dumbledore is, as usual, being very evasive about the whole thing; however, Skeeter believes that Sybill’s madness is down to nothing more than alcohol and strange incense in her room. I think insanity runs in the Trelawney family.” The train stopped and he and Percy quickly got off. “So, what’s new at the Prefects Who Gained Power convention you’ve been attending?”

“It was fantastic! I met Gaspard Shingleton. I introduced myself as Crouch’s assistant and he nearly fell off his chair! He couldn’t believe that someone with my knowledge on cauldrons would show themselves there! He offered me a position as Head of the Cauldron Thickness Inspection Department!” Percy announced proudly.

Arthur stifled a chuckle, coughing, “My, that sounds fabulous, Perce.”

“Need some water, Dad?” Percy asked.

“No, no, I just swallow the little tablets and—” Arthur trailed off. His eyes widened as he saw an airplane travel across the sky.

“Wotcher.” Tonks approached, her hair bright pink and spiky. “So what kept you? Hopefully Kingsley will turn up soon. We need to discuss the picnic plans. You used Muggle transportation in the hope that you wouldn’t be spotted by Rita; that’s the least of our worries. Rumour is that Rufus has been snooping around the office, looking for people to try his homemade potato pie.”

“Why is he doing this? It’s worrying as cooking is hardly his favourite pastime!”

“His cooking’s dangerous,” muttered Arthur. “He made a plate of stoat sandwiches once – even Hagrid said—” He broke off, an owl suddenly landing on his shoulder, carrying what looked like a box of Honeydukes chocolate. Upon closer examination, Tonks noticed that there was steam coming from the box.

BANG! There was slime everywhere.

“Urg! Portable swamp!” Percy spluttered. “Don’t they realize how much this will draw the attention of Muggles!” Tonks laughed as Percy started to turn purple where the swamp had splashed him. “I think they added a new coloring ingredient. Why else would the boils be a violet colour?” Tonks tried to look sympathetic but failed miserably. “Cheer up, Perce! They’ll be gone in a few days, if not you could always wear a ski mask!”

“What’s a ski mask? Will I look more intelligent, or is it designed to conceal one’s identity?”

Arthur looked at his son as if he were mad. “Haven’t you taken Muggle Studies, Percy?”

“Of course, googles keep the snow out of one’s ears!”

“Goggles, Percy, not googles. And they don’t keep the snow out your ears, it’s your eyes,” said Hermione. She had just arrived with Ron and Harry, who was carrying a rattling box.

“What’s in there?” Percy asked nervously. “Not another Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes I hope.”

“No, it’s just a trained rattlesnake. Don’t worry, I had a talk with him and we’re going to her earlier. He won’t bite and Trelawney says we can give all of Scrimgeour’s cooking to him. Apparently he likes it…” Tonks smiled. “I knew he had a reason for going…” he trailed off. A dark figure was peering out at them from a window of a parked car. Harry jumped. “Rita Skeeter! She will not be allowed to stay! Do you remember all the horrible things she wrote?!”

“Yes, but I try to forget and hope she will go and boil her head in bubotuber pus,” Hermione replied calmly. They walked over to a rubbish bin, pointed their wands at a moldy chunk of bread and sent it flying towards the vehicle. Ron magically opened the car window and with a loud thud, it collapsed into the car. “Oops, I meant to roll it down, but falling on her lap is fine.” The bread smashed into Rita’s face. Laughing, they walked off, leaving her covered in peanut butter and green jelly.

“We’ll read all about that for the next few months in the Prophet,” laughed Tonks as the group left and headed down towards the Underground for the Leaky Cauldron.

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:36 pm

These stats were first posted by Finn BV - Oct 7, 2007 8:41 pm (#1049 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Statistics for Story 53
ordered by first contribution to the story

User	# of Submissions
Phelim Mcintyre	39
azi	8
legolas returns	7
Tazzygirl	17
geauxtigers!	32
Snuffles	19
Puck	31
Good Evans	4
kaykay 1970	5
Herm oh ninny	1

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 163
Total Words: 815
Last Submission Date: #1044, October 1, 2007, 5:01 P.M. (geauxtigers)
Total Time to Create Story: 23 days, 15 hours, 15 minutes.

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:37 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic – (date, time, and post # not copied/archived) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Post-Story Comments for Story #53, Volume V,
Potty Five Words: "The Hyde Park Picnic"

This story was written from September 8, 2007 to October 2, 2007. Ten writers contributed to the story, which is 815 words long. Four of the ten writers posted feedback.

- Finn BV, Oct 7, 2007 8:42 pm: It's so good to be back, despite not participating in that last story! It kind of lost its steam there in the end, didn't it? Anyway, I can't believe it's been over a month. I apologize for depriving you guys of Five Words for past few days, and I hope never to go on a holiday away from this thread again!

Phelim, anticipating the next story!

- Phelim Mcintyre, Oct 8, 2007 8:55 am: Wow Azi had single figures in that story - what went wrong? Oh well, looking at the weather here in the UK something appropriate is called for: The fire in the Gryffindor Common (should say room, but common room is two words.)

- azi, Oct 8, 2007 12:54 pm: The last story went off on a weird tangent so I got lost and gave up.   

- geauxtigers, Oct 9, 2007 12:06 am:   Last story was weird. 22 posts today! Back on track! LOL

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:39 pm

This story was first posted by Finn BV - Nov 11, 2007 2:57 am (#1297 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Potty Five Words: "Colin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"

The fire in the Gryffindor common room was blazing as snow fell past the window. Colin Creevey sat staring at the white grounds, thinking of home and seeing his parents waving to him for the hundredth time in his imagination.

“Hey, Colin, it’s time for Gobstones Club,” called a tall blond headed boy with spots. Colin slowly rose and followed Euan Abercrombie to Classroom Eleven. He wasn’t in the mood for Gobstones today. As they opened the classroom door, they came upon a horrific sight: in the corner there appeared to be a duel between Pansy Parkinson and Ginny Weasley. The walls were crumbling around them and something slimy was oozing across the floor.

“What is going on here?” boomed Filch. Pansy turned to stare at the caretaker, but Ginny ignored him. She shot a hex that hit Pansy squarely in the chest, causing her to develop what looked like slimy tentacles on her skin. “You just wait until the Headmaster hears about this,” cackled Filch.

“Well, maybe he won’t have to.” Ginny aimed her wand. “Langlock!” Filch’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and he stormed away angrily.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Colin muttered. “Filch is bound to get revenge somehow. Please don’t make him worse.” Colin remembered the time when Filch had caught him altering – or, attempting to alter – the Quidditch banner in the Great Hall.

Shuddering, he turned toward the doorway hoping to escape to somewhere safe. He ran along the corridors quickly and quietly. To his left, he saw Professor Snape. “Why the hurry, Creevey?” he snarled. “What have you been up to?”

“Uh—”

“Hesitation. Detention, my office, 6 on Saturday. I have some barrels of frog legs that need to be sorted.”

“I—but—didn’t!” Colin sputtered. Snape merely sneered as he turned and walked off.

Colin burst into tears before starting to run back to the common room. As he turned the corner he crashed into a suit of armor. Pain shot through his big toe and he screamed in rage. The armor shifted angrily as Peeves entered, drawn to the sound of cursing. “Well, well, does little Creevey want his mommy to come and kiss his toesy?” He cackled.

“Do we need to tell the Bloody Baron where you are?” said Hermione, who suddenly appeared.

“Thanks,” mumbled Colin, as Peeves shot off muttering rude things.

“No problem. Have you seen Harry anywhere? He got annoyed when I wouldn’t let him copy my potions homework.”

“No, but I’ll help you find where hid his book.” They set off for the seventh floor. As they turned a corner, they found themselves face-to-face with Draco who was making daisy chains using debilitating daisies from Greenhouse Three.

“If you’re looking for your Mudblood brother, he’s in detention because he tried to curse Snape. Do you like being related to him? I personally would find it very hard.”

“You leave my brother out of this, you git!” Malfoy’s wand shot out of his pocket, but Hermione was faster. She sent a Bat-Bogey Hex at him

Pansy walked round the corner and Draco started to blush. He ran off with his arms shielding his face. “Draco, where are you going?” Pansy called.

“Er, bathroom,” he replied, before running full pelt across the corridor and out of sight. Hermione tugged Colin’s robe and dragged him through a door. “Colin you promised to help me find Harry.”

“I’m right here,” came a voice behind a tapestry.

“Harry!” exclaimed Hermione. “Where have you been?”

“Spying on Snape and Malfoy. Snape has been hiding in Moaning Myrtle’s. I dunno why, but Draco has been keeping watch. Do you think he is trying to get into the Chamber of Secrets?”

Hermione gasped, “I think you’re right! Basilisk is a rare ingredient for use in potions that keeps you alive forever and stops you getting old. It was reportedly used by Nicolas Flamel when he made the Philosopher’s Stone. Maybe Snape is trying to make his own Stone!”

Colin remembered seeing Snape looking pleased about something the smug way he usually did. “Quick! We’ve got to stop him! We don’t want Snape and his greasy hair to cause oil slicks throughout England. It would mentally scar so many innocent toads.”

Neville stepped up and slapped Snape hard across the face. The two had fallen out of the tapestry and crashed unceremoniously on the floor. “What is this?” said Snape. “Finally, a Gryffindor expulsion!”

Suddenly, three jets of light lifted Snape off the floor and slammed him against a wall. Harry, Colin and Sirius laughed. Dobby and Kreacher picked up Snape and carried him to the compost heap. Hermione was panicking, “We attacked a teacher, we are going to get into a huge pile of trouble!”

“Don’t worry about that slimy git!” said Sirius, grinning. “He’ll be fine once the pumpkin peelings have been removed from his ears. His lovely hair needs cleaning!”

Neville looked at Colin, surprised, and shrugged his shoulders indifferently. “I don’t care if he uses L’Oreal shampoo because he’s not worth it.” Neville let them standing there a bit baffled.

“What did I miss? Where did everyone appear from?” Ron, who had been waiting by dancing Barnabus the Barmy after searching the Room of Requirement for his illegal broomstick, with turbo boost time turner function and built-in invisibility booster.

“You don’t want to know,” Colin replied.

Ten minutes later, the trio was walking into the Great Hall. Colin waved happily at them as he joined Dennis for dinner. “Not pumpkin juice tonight,” said a voice to his right. Colin turned and was surprised to see a very pretty girl there.

“I, uhh, hi…” Colin stammered. He wished he could shrivel up and die. Girls were scarier than Snape. Taking her picture, however, would making dealing with her easier. “Say ‘Canary Cream.’”

The girl looked at him funny. “What?”

“Care for a sample?” asked Colin as he clicked the camera, taking Padma’s picture. Padma was soon clucking and laid an egg. She pecked Crabbe, who had been teasing her in Herbology last time the Venomous Tentacula had attacked. He ran way screaming before large purple spots appeared before his eyes. It was not very attractive at all. He tripped and landed in a heap at the feet of Dumbledore.

“Ah, I see you have been mastering the fine art of table diving. Extreme table diving is the favorite sport of my old aerobics and chamber music teacher. Alas, he only lived another year after breaking his legs.”

Colin stared at Dumbledore and was transfixed by the headmaster’s moving story. “Wow, Professor, I never knew that chamber music was so dangerous.”

“Only when the lead tenor relies on pasta for his bow and warm-up exercises! And spaghetti must never be overcooked and floppy because it won’t hold your trousers up.” Dumbledore winked, then returned to his office, humming to himself.

Colin walked up the Grand Staircase with the wonky step, remembering at the last second to jump the vanishing step. Neville of course got stuck. Colin pulled him out and said, “I think we all need to go straight to bed.”

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:41 pm

These stats were first posted by Finn BV - Nov 11, 2007 3:01 am (#1298 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Statistics for Story 54
ordered by first contribution to the story

User	# of Submissions
Phelim Mcintyre	24
Snuffles	20
Puck	72
azi	35
Finn BV	16
geauxtigers!	25
Herm oh ninny	8
Tazzygirl	1
Anna L. Black	1
James Greenfield	7
legolas returns	31

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 240
Total Words: 1200
Last Submission Date: #1290, November 4, 2007, 9:33 P.M. (azi)
Total Time to Create Story: 27 days, 20 hours, 38 minutes.

**Please note that the times used to record the Last Submission Date and all other time-based data for these statistics were taken by subtracting 8 hours from the time that currently appears next to posts, to reflect regular Forum time, which is based out of San Francisco, CA.

* Five Words – Volume 5 Index *

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:43 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - (date, time, and post # not copied/archived) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Post-Story Comments for Story #54, Volume V,
Potty Five Words: "Colin and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day "

This story was written from October 8, 2007 to November 4, 2007. Eleven writers contributed to the story, which is 1,200 words long. One of the eleven writers posted feedback.

- Finn BV, Nov 11, 2007 3:07 am: Welcome to the many new posters of Five Words, and congrats to Puck, who is the runaway winner of this (rather long-winded) story. Good luck starting the next one!

I wanted to point out something -- this just goes to show how off the ball I've been -- but we completely missed the second anniversary of Potty Five Words on October 9. Last year, we had a big party which passed us by this year… that just means we'll have an even bigger party for our second-and-a-half anniversary!

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:44 pm

This story was first posted by Finn BV - Nov 29, 2007 3:20 am (#1626 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Potty Five Words: "The Three-Horned Creature's Wax Seal"

Hedwig soared through the stormy sky, pursued by a Dementor that was gaining on her. She angled down into the Forbidden Forest, before crashing into Grawp. The Dementor circled overhead briefly, then zoomed away hurriedly. Dazed, Hedwig sat on a tree branch directly above the angry giant and breathed deeply. She had been delivering a large, heavy package to Harry from Fred and George. It had a large label that was smudged and ripped, as if someone had tried to remove it without much success.

Whistling, Hagrid strode into the forest, accompanied by Fang. A centaur appeared in the shadows. “Darkness falls across Saturn’s rings.” As he pointed to the stars, Bane added, “All thieves need beware the Ides of March or their downfall will wash over them.”

“Eh, right,” said Hagrid, scratching his nose. He continued down the path which led towards the centre of the forest. “Grawpy! Where are yeh?” Hagrid moved briskly to where Grawp should have been, but there were only a few broken branches strewn on the ground. Suddenly, Hedwig swooped down and began pecking nervously at Hagrid’s shoulder. “Hedwig, what are yeh doin’ here?”

Hedwig’s large amber eyes were staring at the package on Hagrid’s other shoulder. “Oh, this must be the secret weapon you were supposed to deliver to Harry.”

Grawp stumbled out from the undergrowth, howling loudly. Blood gushed from a deep cut in his thumb. He saw Hagrid and plodded towards him, sucking his bleeding thumb. Hedwig swooped down toward the disheveled parcel atop Hagrid’s shoulder, and grabbed it in her claws. Ignoring Hagrid’s yells, she unfolded her great white wings and flew off towards the lake.

Grawp, meanwhile, was tugging at a giant bandage which hung from Hagrid’s coat pocket. “Okay, Grawpy, calm down, I’ll fix you up in a mo’!” He reached into his pocket, but to his surprise, Grawp grabbed the bandage and himself. Then he began to wrap the bandage around his wound, showing Hagrid his handiwork proudly. “Very good, Grawpy!”

A beaming smile on his bearded face, Hagrid was squashed between the outstretched hand and the bandage, rapidly losing breathing ability! Hagrid freed himself and continued down a path that led to the Shrieking Shack where Harry stood waiting for him.

“Do you think anyone followed you, Hagrid?” Harry asked, eyeing the trees over Hagrid’s shoulder.

“Jus’ ran into Grawpy and yeh wouldn’t believe how much he’s comin’ on Harry. Anyway, I reckon you meant Malfoy?”

“Yeah. He knows about the delivery from Hedwig, so we have to—”

“Hedwig! She’s back! Let’s get this parcel off yer and see what’s inside.”

“Hurry up!” said Harry, tugging the small parcel free. It fell to the ground, revealing a small red object that resembled a satsuma that had been flattened. “This is the secret weapon Malfoy was trying to get his slimy hands on?”

Hagrid was chuckling. “Don’t you worry, Harry, if Fred and George have anything ter do with it, it’s sure ter be a small diversion away from the real weapon itself.”

Harry picked up the object. An almighty screech echoed around them. Harry dropped the noisy thing. Just as it hit the ground, it flew open, revealing a shiny object inside. Harry bent down to get it, but Hedwig got there first.

“She’s tellin’ yeh not ter touch it, Harry,” said Hagrid as Harry tried to grab it away from her.

“Right, give me your gloves so I can pick it up. Hermione will know what to do… I hope!” They hurried to the library, where they found Hermione talking to Neville and Ron.

“Look what Neville has been growing, Harry.”

“Sorry, not now, Hermione. Fred and George have sent me this brass… seal?” He held it up to the light to get a better look. Engraved upon it was the image of a three-horned creature with a spiked tail and soft, curly, black fur.

“What do you think it is supposed to do?” asked Ron.

“We can’t get a message to Fred and George to ask if it’s safe.”

“Safe? It’s from Fred and George!” said Hermione impatiently, scanning the titles on the shelf, looking for Newt Scamander’s book. “Isn’t it obvious that we must place the seal on any letters we send to Order members.”

“Why?” asked Ron, reaching over to pick it up. He was startled when the thing began to shake.

Harry, however, moved closer, and drawing his wand uttered, “Immobilis!”

“Put it down!” Hermione snapped.

Hagrid added, “It screamed bloody murder when Harry touched it.”

Hearing that, Hermione conjured up a glass orb for that noisy, twitchy thing. “Safety first!” murmured Hermione.

“Well,” said Neville, “how are we going to figure out what this thing does?”

“We could do a quick read of Magical Stationery Devices,” said Hermione, reaching for a battered leather-bound book. She turned the pages and found a replica sketch of the three-horned spiky-tailed creature. “The beast was once native to England, and particularly found in Yorkshire Dales. It could keep its balance on the most treacherous of steep cliffs or edges of swallow holes. This creature’s soft, curly fur disguised its tough skin. ’Twas prized for its fierce protection, which it provided to any item graven with a fragment of its fur.”

“So, let’s try it on a letter we won’t mind being seen by that toerag, Malfoy,” Ron suggested. The group quickly composed a pretend love letter between Filch and Professor Umbridge, confirming their date in Hogsmeade on Saturday. Hedwig was instructed to “accidentally” deliver the letter to Malfoy, who, according to the Marauders Map, was in the Great Hall. It was almost lunchtime so nearly every student was going to be there.

Harry and the others chose seats, Hagrid taking his usual spot at the head table. Suddenly, owls zoomed in, dropping packages in their owners’ laps. Hedwig drifted away from the Gryffindor table, dropping her letter on Malfoy’s head. He looked up, muttering about how stupid Potter’s third-rate owl couldn’t even deliver a letter. He attempted to break the wax seal on the parchment envelope, but froze at the earsplitting shriek that emanated from it. Chains rose from beneath Malfoy’s hands to wrap firmly around his wrists, binding them together.

He turned, furiously, to Crabbe, who was backing away from the table. “GET PROFESSOR SNAPE, YOU IDIOT!” Crabbe turned, but Professor McGonagall was already there.

“What, pray tell, is the reason for all this infernal commotion?” she demanded.

Draco spluttered, “It’s this letter Potter’s useless owl dropped on my head! These chains just appeared out—”

“Why were you so nervous when you saw me approaching, Miss Granger?” Hermione’s head snapped up and her eyes flitted to Harry and Ron, her hand quickly moving to snap her bag closed.

Professor McGonagall didn’t miss the action, but merely narrowed her eyes. Draco was still struggling in his chains. McGonagall muttered under her breath and they disappeared. “Miss Granger, Potter, Weasley, come with me. Immediately!”

They slowly rose from the table and followed McGonagall to her office.

“Sit,” she said, pointing grimly. “Show me what’s in the letter you gave to Mr. Malfoy. It is obvious that you were trying to trick him into opening the wretched thing.” Harry produced the letter.

“We were testing whether this seal worked,” Hermione explained.

“We think it has been sent to Harry so that he can send messages to members of the Order yet not have them read by Death Eaters,” Ron said matter-of-factly.

“Glad to see you listen to the Sorting Hat’s warnings.”

Harry wasn’t sure what McGonagall meant, but Hermione was nodding even though Ron looked as though he’d been hit by a Confundo spell. “Sorry, Professor,” Harry said, “we should have asked you about it, rather than try and sort it out ourselves.” He looked at Professor McGonagall; could she have the answers?

Slowly McGonagall met Harry’s eyes. “You do know, don’t you, Potter, that we are being watched? We have to create new ways to contact the Order in secret because all other usual means are being monitored. Even Patronuses are not safe anymore.” Hermione slapped her hand to her mouth to cover her gasp. “Of course, why didn’t I think of that myself?”

“Well, now we know that it works; shouldn’t we send a message to an Order member, telling them it does?” asked Ron, turning to Hermione. She tapped the crystal orb and it floated towards McGonagall, who reached for it and placed it on a cushion and tapped it lightly with her wand.

“Doremifasolatido,” she sang.

Immediately the brass seal began glowing brightly; it raised into the air. It revolved once, reanimating the stamp’s graven image. The beast snarled and shook its mane, then spoke: “Now the truth shall be known. To release my protection on communications the handler need only kiss my waxen image thrice.”

“Aha!” shouted Harry. “Sounds simple, yet no Death Eater would ever think of it.” He suddenly remembered “Filch’s” letter, wishing he had left it in the Great Hall.

“Mr. Potter, kindly remember that the walls have ears,” she paused. “Now hand over that letter, please.” Minerva suppressed a smile with difficulty as she scanned the page. “That will be all. Back to the common room.”

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:47 pm

These stats were first posted by Finn BV - Nov 29, 2007 3:20 am (#1628 of 2989) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Statistics for Story 55
ordered by first contribution to the story

User	# of Submissions
Puck	32
James Greenfield	3
geauxtigers!	8
azi	60
Finn BV	13
megfox*	9
Potteraholic	98
Snuffles	6
Good Evans	25
Choices	2
freshwater	40
PatPat	12

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 308
Total Words: 1540
Last Submission Date: #1616, November 26, 2007, 4:21 P.M. (Puck)
Total Time to Create Story: 15 days, 21 hours, 2 minutes.

**Please note that the times used to record the Last Submission Date and all other time-based data for these statistics were taken by subtracting 8 hours from the time that currently appears next to posts, to (approximately) reflect regular Forum time, which is based out of San Francisco, CA. (The hour is not the only number that is off; the minutes are somewhat fast as well, but the number by which they vary has not been constant across the whole posting period, and thus they will remain as they are.)

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Potteraholic Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:48 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - (date, time, and post # not copied/archived) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Post-Story Comments for Story #55, Volume V,
Potty Five Words: "The Three-Horned Creature's Wax Seal"

This story was written from November 11, 2007 to November 27, 2007. Twelve writers contributed to the story, which is 1,540 words long. One of the twelve writers posted feedback.

- Finn BV, Nov 29, 2007 3:27 am: Well, it is with no surprise that Potteraholic will be starting our next story! Congratulations to a now well-established "newbie"!

I have a request for the next story -- this one, while I enjoyed its many twists and turns, was an epic. We haven't had this long a story in quite a while (since the first story on this thread, July 5, 2007, with 417 posts). We used to have stories that only lasted 5 or 6 days and were of about half the length (some were of the same length, too, like one of my favorite stories, "The Most Evil Source of Evil"). Can we aim to finish this story by next Tuesday or so? Let's create a nice little vignette -- I suggest we all go back and read from the terribly unofficial and just-now named "Golden Age" of Potty Five Words (will get some links in just a sec).

Anyway, glad to see such a resurgence in Five Words!

EDIT: I would estimate about May to November 2006 was our Golden Age. Here's a totally wacky story that we all quite enjoyed, "Tax Forms, or, the Giant Chicken in the Road". (Actually, it might be helpful to read through it post-by-post to see the thought process, but only if you have time.)

This was a lot of fun. I just got very Five Words-nostalgic.  

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