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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Story #115 stats

Post  Potteraholic Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:12 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Oct 26, 2009 6:46 am (#1977 of 2999) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

  FW - Year 4!  

Statistics for Story 115
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic     66
  Verity Weasley    26
  mona amon   27
  Julia H.   28
  Finn BV     3
  freshwater   3
  legolas returns   32
  Solitaire   8
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 193
Total Words: 2316
Last Submission Date: #1974, Oct 24, 2009, 8:59 am (Julia H.)
Total Time to Create Story: 15 days, 7 hours, and 51 minutes






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 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Story #115 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:14 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:07 am (#2947 of 2960) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

  FW - Year 4!  

Post-Story Comments for Story #115, Volume XI,
Potty Five Words: "The 3 Ds: Dursleys, Dementors, and Dinner"

This story was written from October 9, 2009 to October 24, 2009. Eight writers contributed to the story, which is 2,316 words long. Five of the eight writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Oct 26, 2009 7:00 am: This story had some twists and turns, as befits one that is more than 2300 words long, but I think it holds together well enough. Perhaps there was just a wee too much going on? I just wish we got to hear more conversation, from more people — some Muggle and Wizard/Witch interaction — around the dinner table, including some 'Kreacherisms'. Maybe another time!

- legolas returns, Oct 26, 2009 5:39 pm: I am glad that Harry has been instilling the value of choices to his children. The ending was sweet. Perhaps the sudden jump from Dementors to food and then forgetting about the Dementors was a little bit strange. Perhaps Dudley can only think about one thing at a time.

- Julia H., Oct 26, 2009 5:52 pm: LOL, Legolas! Yes, Dudley was supposed to be awfully scared at the beginning, but mention dinner, and all his troubles are forgotten.

Perhaps it took us a bit long to decide what the story would be about. (That's why 12 words are tricky...) I think that is why we did not very much exploit the opportunities provided by Muggles, wizards and a house elf being all in one place. Still, the story was fun to write. The sudden changes in the plot were really "five-wordish", so perhaps that's not a problem here. Very good title! LOL!

On the other hand, I'm sorry that we never found out what kind of cakes Kreacher made.

- Verity Weasley, Oct 27, 2009 3:10 am: I agree with previous posters about the last story. It turned out quite well, and the ending was sweet, but I think we could have made more of the opportunity. I would have liked to have seen around 12 Grimmauld Place now that the Potters call it home, and some more 'Muggle in a wizard house' type action. I also think we have all been awfully forgiving of Dudley. If you have a definite idea of where the story is going, then 12 words can be great, but otherwise, it can be much harder than posting only 5 at a time. The dialogue around the table was good, but the problem, and the 'dealing' with it, felt a bit rushed.

- mona amon, Oct 27, 2009 11:21 am: The previous story was quite good. Maybe a bit more of #12 GP and Kreacher would have been nice. Albus Potter was a bit too preachy for me. For once I found the cake-stealing little James more appealing.

Great title as always, PAH. And very pretty pumpkins!






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 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:40 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Story #116

Post  Potteraholic Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:18 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 23, 2009 11:48 am (#2379 of 2999) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Ft023_pumpkin15_l



Potty Five Words: "Neville and the Mandrakes: Mission Possible"


Neville opened the greenhouse door very quietly. It was dark, but he wanted to check on the Mandrakes, even though he knew that they would probably be covered up. The cold chilled him to the bone. Neville wished he had worn the red and gold scarf his Gran had ordered specially from Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions to mark his return to school. It had been Neville's favorite scarf ever since.

Adjusting to the dim wandlight, he carefully slipped into the deserted greenhouse, and went carefully past the sprouting Venomous Tentacula. Its spiky dark red flowers and faintly rattling seedpods fascinated him, but he didn't stop to look because he didn't fancy getting bitten again.

Holding his wand out so its light could shine directly ahead, he made his way toward the room where the Mandrakes were. A pair of earmuffs lay on the floor among the pots of Fanged Geraniums. As Neville reached down to pick up the fluffy muffs he stiffened as he suddenly noticed something very unusual: two sets of muddy footprints that led off towards the Mandrakes. "Hominum revelio," Neville whispered as he took his wand and pointed it, quickly, at the area behind the plants.

The Creevey brothers, Colin and Dennis, stepped out looking excited. "Neville!" Dennis crowed. "I'm glad it's you! For a moment, I thought it was Snape and was afraid we were Blast-Ended Skrewt food!"

"But what are you two doing here?" Neville asked incredulously.

"Well, we wanted to have a look at Dumbledore's tomb and put some flowers on it," replied Colin, showing a battered bouquet of oddly shaped blossoms to an astonished Neville.

"We picked puffapods," Dennis said proudly. "They are wonderful plants, don't you agree?"

"Yes, I think Dumbledore would've liked them," Neville answered quietly.

"What are you doing here?" Colin asked Neville. "It's dangerous to be out alone after dark."

"I was thinking that I should check on the Mandrakes," Neville explained. "But, tell me, how'd you get down here without getting caught?"

Colin winked and said, "We learnt a few things from following Harry and Ron around. But I wish we had an invisibility cloak. We almost got spotted by the Carrows as we were walking past the Great Hall."

Neville couldn't imagine how they were all going to return without trouble. Taking the puffapods to Dumbledore's grave would be risky. "We could ask Peeves for help," Neville suggested. "But first, I need to check on those Mandrakes."

The three of them continued to the far end of the greenhouse, where the Mandrakes were kept. Donning a pair of earmuffs each, they entered the room and froze in surprise as they saw a most unusual sight: Professor Slughorn polishing the leaves of the Mandrakes with a white cloth. He looked up with a start, and almost dropped the cloth.

"Merlin's beard!" he exclaimed. "What are you three doing here? And take those ridiculous things off!" He pointed to their earmuffs, saying, "The Mandrakes won't hurt you while they're in their pots. Surely you know that, Mr. Longbottom?"

"My ears were cold," said Neville, after removing the earmuffs.

"In a greenhouse?" Professor Slughorn asked. "Three Gryffindors? After dark? What are you up to? If you're found by the Carrows you will be severely punished," he said, frowning. "I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"Thanks for your concern, Professor," said Neville. "I just had to check that the Mandrakes are safe and secure. They are rather rare and valuable, aren't they, Professor?"

Slughorn looked a little sheepish as he folded his arms across his huge belly and sighed. "True," he said. "The leaves are priceless on the black market, and in these troubled times a few extra Galleons would certainly help, wouldn't they?"

Slughorn's eyes scrutinized the three boys standing in front of him. "What do you know about the uses of Mandrake leaves? Everyone knows about the roots but do you know that carefully tended, top quality leaves, especially the darker purplish ones, are so highly prized throughout our world?"

"Why, Sir?" asked Colin breathlessly.

"They are used in making the antidote for poisonous snake bites that would otherwise prove lethal, like from the snake belonging to You-Know-Who himself, which bit Mr. Weasley. Remember?"

Neville nodded and swallowed hard. He remembered what happened during his fifth year just before Christmas. His suspicion concerning Slughorn was alleviated a bit. Just to be sure, he decided to test the waters with an obvious trap. "Professor, will you be taking some of the leaves with you, back to your office?"

Slughorn pondered what Neville had meant by that. "Taking the leaves at this early stage of growth would harm these delicate plants, as you know, Longbottom, and the time may come when they'll be needed to save lives."

Neville blinked in surprise. After all, Slughorn was a Slytherin, and Slytherins were not noted for their concern for others.

Slughorn put the polishing cloth away. "Longbottom, what exactly brings you here at this time of the night? And for October, quite a chilly one, too..."

Neville beckoned to the Creevey brothers, who immediately stepped closer to him as they wanted to hear every word of his explanation. Leaning forward, they held their breath while Neville began to speak.

"I had a hunch that these Mandrakes could prove useful in our fight against the Death Eaters. If I can hide a few, we may be able to have some ready in case of an attack."

Colin's eyes narrowed. "How would the Mandrakes help us fight Death Eaters?"

"The cry of the Mandrake can prove fatal," Neville reminded Colin. "We could use that advantage, if Voldemort mounts an attack here. And the roots could be used to help those who'd been hit by curses."

Slughorn was nodding in agreement, impressed by Neville's farsightedness. "We just need to make sure you don't forget your earmuffs," he said.

"So are we going to hide one of the Mandrakes?" Dennis suggested, grinning broadly. "Where should we hide it?"

"I've already thought of the perfect place," whispered Neville, rubbing his hands together, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Really, Longbottom? Do tell," Slughorn coaxed.

Neville hesitated. Could he really trust Slughorn? He was evidently on their side, but what if someone else appealed to his opportunistic side? Would he be able to resist? But, it could be useful to have a teacher on their side as they would be less constrained by the Carrows' new regulations.

"I thought we could hide them in the Room of Requirement," said Neville, "and it could become a hideout, or 'safe house', for DA members."

"With a mini-greenhouse?" said Dennis in a breathless voice, his eyes alight with anticipation.

"What about these puffapods?" asked Colin. "I really want to put some on Dumbledore's grave."

"Well, you'd better do it quickly," Slughorn advised. "The doors will be locked in half an hour, and you don't want to be caught outside after curfew. The Carrows are not to be trifled with."

"Take a Mandrake each, and don't let their roots get exposed," cautioned Neville, reaching for a large potted Mandrake and hiding it under his cloak. "We need to get out of here, and fast!"

Neville led the way out of the greenhouse, and soon the four of them were heading towards the white tomb, thankful for the cover of darkness and the long shadows.

Presently they saw the gleaming white marble tomb up ahead against the dark background of the lake, and were soon standing before it.

Slughorn looked as if he might start to head back to the castle... but he didn't. Instead, he watched, silent and motionless and seemed deep in thought. His eyes glistened with emotions, which he quickly wiped away when Colin carefully placed the puffapods at the foot of the tomb. He then turned to Dennis and said, "You had better get yourself—"

"Shhh! Someone's coming!" Neville whispered in a panicked voice and all four wizards immediately fell silent. Slughorn acted quickly and Disillusioned the boys and they immediately blended in with the surroundings. Slughorn didn't have time to hide the flowers before he saw Hagrid and Fang approaching.

"Oh, it's only you." Slughorn sighed with relief. "I'll be on my way, then," and he was about to undo the Disillusionment Charm that he had cast on the boys, when the unmistakable voice of Amycus Carrow sounded behind him.

"Slughorn!" Amycus bellowed. "What's going on 'ere? Why are you out 'ere at this hour?" There was a vicious sneer playing around his lips.

"I-I-I... needed some potion ingredient," stammered Slughorn, trying to keep his voice level. "There's a patch of knotgrass somewhere here."

"Knotgrass? At this time of the year?"

The Death Eater advanced menacingly towards Slughorn, who looked a bit queasy. Suddenly, he caught sight of the bouquet of puffapods propped up against the tomb.

"What are they doin' 'ere?" growled Amycus. He grabbed the puffapods and flung them into the bushes and then poked his wand in Slughorn's face.

"Payin' yer respects, I see," he said, with scorn.

"That's right," Hagrid growled from the shadows, causing both Slughorn and Amycus to jump back a step in surprise. "Yer got a problem with me askin' Professor—"

Hagrid stopped abruptly as a clod of earth flew past him and landed on Amycus's head, showering him with dirt.

Amycus looked a little bit dumbstruck and turned around to see where the missile had come from. Fortunately, the shadows hid the three Disillusioned kids, and since neither Hagrid nor Slughorn knew exactly where Neville and the Creeveys were by this time, they stood by, hoping Amycus would give up quickly and go back to the castle. But he stomped off into the bushes instead.

Slughorn acted swiftly. "Quick, you three," he said removing the Charm, "get back to your dormitory as fast as you can and go straight to bed."

"Merlin's pants!" Hagrid cried when the three boys appeared before him. "Yeh've been here the whole time? So that's where tha' bit o' mud came from!" With a broad grin he whispered, "Off yeh go!"

As the three Gryffindors made their way back, the Mandrakes bulging visibly under their cloaks, Slughorn and Hagrid stood guard in case Amycus should return. Between them, they figured they could keep him occupied, giving the boys enough time to reach the castle. The puffapods that had fallen around the grave had burst into bloom, their large petals glowing in the moonlight like the floating candles in the Great Hall.

"I can't see them anymore," said Slughorn, squinting into the darkness, "I think they must be back at the castle by now."

As he said this, Amycus returned with the Headmaster at his heels. Snape looked at the scene around him, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Well, Amycus, what did you want to show me?" he demanded, staring at the burgeoning puffapods with inscrutable face for a few moments.

The silence stretched out, becoming uncomfortable.

"Memorializing Dumbledore is expressly against the Dark Lord's orders," Amycus said pointedly.

"Who dropped these puffapods?" Snape burst out angrily.

"I put them on the tomb after my party for Harry," Hagrid said in a robust and hearty voice, causing Snape to clench his jaw. "Great man, Dumbledore! What would he say if he could see Hogwarts now, with the likes of you Death Eaters in charge? Criminals, more like!" he snorted in disdain. He looked back at Hogwarts, and said, "I'd have never believed it, Hogwarts in You-Know-Who's control. Unnatural..."

"You would be wise to keep your opinions to yourself," said Snape coldly. "Your duties can of course be carried out by Professor Grubbly-Plank. Again."

"I promised Professor Dumbledore I'd keep the kids safe," Hagrid growled.

"Be careful then," Snape advised.

"We will," said Slughorn, solemnly.

"Come," said Snape to Amycus. "I'll deal with these two later."

He turned and quickly walked away, his robes billowing angrily as he went.

This story was later revised in Volume XII, and can be found here.




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Last edited by Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 4:56 pm; edited 3 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Story #116 stats

Post  Potteraholic Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:19 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 23, 2009 11:49 am (#2380 of 2999) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

    image c/o ecco.com.blogspot
Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Ft023_pumpkin15_l

Statistics for Story 116
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  legolas returns   61
  Julia H.   59
  Potteraholic     116
  Verity Weasley     47
  mona amon   61
  Solitaire   53
  John Bumbledore   3
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 398
Total Words: 1990
Last Submission Date: #2377, Nov 22, 2009, 6:42 pm (Julia H.)
Total Time to Create Story: 27 days, 1 hour, and 3 minutes






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 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Story #116 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:21 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:07 am (#2948 of 2960) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

    image c/o ecco.com.blogspot
Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Ft023_pumpkin15_l

Post-Story Comments for Story #116, Volume XI,
Potty Five Words: "Neville and the Mandrakes: Mission Possible"

This story was written from October 26, 2009 to November 22, 2009. Seven writers contributed to the story, which is 1,990 words long. Four of the seven writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Nov 23, 2009 11:49 am: It took almost a month to write and was another long one, too, at nearly 2,000 words. I think it's hard to keep the momentum going on these longer stories when there are less people posting less frequently. I think the story worked out well enough, but I would've liked to have ended with Neville, somehow, since the story started with him.

- legolas returns, Nov 23, 2009 5:08 pm: I don't actually mind that it does not finish on Neville. I think it ends menacingly enough on Snape saying that he is going to deal with Hagrid and Slughorn later.

- mona amon, Nov 24, 2009 2:59 am: I just read the previous story, and I think it turned out quite well. I too feel it should have ended with Neville. It seemed to change direction in the end. But on the whole it was good!

- Verity Weasley, Nov 24, 2009 11:38 am: The previous story was OK. It did feel a little rushed at the end, and there were a few awkward moments, such as when Slughorn looked like he was going back to the castle, but didn't. Amycus wasn't quite menacing enough really, conveniently disappearing off into the bushes when he did. But given our post constraints, I think we did quite well.






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:41 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Story #117

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:25 am

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Dec 16, 2009 10:31 pm (#2585 of 2999) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

image c/o www.harrypotterrealm.com
Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Harrymelling2

Potty Five Words: "A Birthday… Surprise!"


Gertrude and Dudley's son, Simon was ensconced in the living room, on the big red sofa. He was reading a book with colorful pictures of cheese from around the world called Cheeses Here and Cheeses There: Cheeses, Cheeses, Everywhere! It had no words in it, but the toddler seemed captivated by the pictures, which moved when he poked them. He squealed in a delighted fashion and called out, "Da-da, Da-da!"

Dudley was bustling about, getting things ready for Simon's first birthday party. The balloons were hanging all around the room. "What's it that you're trying to show Daddy?" he cooed walking to the sofa. "Tell Daddy what you've got? Let Daddy see. Oh, you've got Auntie Greta's present!" He sat down next to his son, ruffling his hair. He bent down to look at the book.

"Da-da!" Simon grinned, pointing at an Edam cheese, "Ball!"

Shock, then panic, filled Dudley's mind as he realized exactly what this meant. His son must be magical! "Gertrude! Simon was pointing at a moving picture. He said its name and it just moved!"

Gertrude looked up from her baking with a smile. "Oh, he's just a little parrot," she smiled. "I was reading that book to him after breakfast this morning. Auntie Greta said that the pictures would only move when touched." She walked over from the counter and joined Simon and Dudley on the sofa.

"I think perhaps we should put it away until after the party," Dudley cautioned. "Dad'll throw a fit if he sees anything that seems remotely magical."

"You're probably right," agreed Gertrude, "Although if he really is a wizard, they'll have to know sooner or later. We can't hide it forever. For now, though, let's get on with the party preparations." A few hours from now, Vernon and Petunia would be arriving, and Gertrude wanted everything to be perfect.

Later that day, the doorbell rang. Simon raced excitedly toward the door, but stumbled, his little legs unsteady. Dudley opened the door, and there stood his mum and dad. Soon the house was filled with shrill cries of "Come to Gran-Gran, my little sweet-sweet." Petunia picked Simon up and gave him a hug.

Vernon cuffed him on the chin and bounced him on his knee. "That's my boy," he chortled. Simon wriggled and squealed. Fortunately, the doorbell rang again and Gertrude's Uncle Elfred entered, a large present in hand, followed soon after by Aunt Greta and Gertrude's parents.

"Has everybody met each other before? I met you two at the wedding!" boomed Greta enthusiastically, turning to the Dursleys.

"Yes," Petunia replied caustically, "I'll never forget that interesting dress you wore."

Greta's face lit up. "Did you like it? It was made especially, by Madame Malkin, for the occasion."

Petunia couldn't decide exactly what to say. Elfred saved her the trouble by choosing that moment to send rainbow-colored sparks into the air. Little Simon squealed with delight and clapped his hands as the sparks flew in multiple directions and criss-crossed just above his head. Vernon looked horror-struck, while Petunia looked firmly in the other direction. Suddenly, the fizzling embers transformed into a flock of multi-colored butterflies.

"Stop that nonsense at once!" cried Vernon furiously. "My grandson must not be subjected to the influence of this perverse behavior... this abnormality!"

"Dad! That's utterly unfair and very rude. He's only doing magic!" Dudley said in a forceful voice. Just then, Vernon's tie flew up into his large face and began slapping him, playfully.

"Elfred, please," Greta said uncomfortably. "Stop moving Mr. Dursley's tie!"

"I'm not doing that!" Elfred said, changing a snort into a cough. The assembled adults all looked puzzled and shrugged... except for Uncle Vernon, who turned purple in the face. The vein in his temple throbbed. His jaw was clenched. He looked like he was about to explode, when Simon giggled and pointed at Vernon's tie. He clapped his chubby hands and bounced up and down, mimicking the action of the errant accessory.

"Simon?" Gertrude spluttered in a slightly higher voice. "What are you doing? Why are you mimicking what that tie's doing, my little darling?"

"He's the one who's doing it? Wonderful! Already showing magical prowess at such a tender age?" Elfred exclaimed excitedly.

"Preposterous!" Vernon bellowed. "He's just a baby!"

"Didn't something similar happen with Harry when he was about that age? I remember Aunt Marge's handkerchief story..." Dudley trailed off, looking at his parents. "She was trying to pick it up and it kept blowing across the room, down the stairs and she thought it was caused by the breeze. But Harry had just been annoying her."

"He was crying," Petunia added, "because she passed unkind comments about his hair. She waved the handkerchief at him to tell him to stop blubbering, but that was when it flew out of her hand."

"I remember other things, too," Dudley exclaimed. "That jumper! The one that kept shrinking when you tried to force it over his head! I remember poor Harry saying, 'It hurts!' And soon it was so small that it would only fit a very small infant."

Aunt Greta nodded, saying, "That makes sense. It's only natural that little Simon would be magical, since both his parents carry the gene."

"WHAT???" Vernon yelled, jumping up so fast that he knocked a small vase of flowers over. He turned to Petunia and said, "I married a freak gene carrier?"

"Dad! That's enough! Don't say that your grandson is a freak, or I'll have to ask you to leave and not come back until you've stopped judging Simon for something he can't control."

"And apologized, too!" said Gertrude in a trembling voice. "For ruining Simon's birthday party with your prejudiced comments."

Vernon blinked, then said, "Fine!" and stormed toward the front door.

"Petunia?"

"I'm staying," she mumbled. Suddenly the doorbell rang, just as Vernon jerked the door open.

"Er... hello," said Harry, who was standing on the doorstep with Ginny and the kids.

"Aarrgh!!!" cried Uncle Vernon, who looked like he was going to explode. "More freaks? I'm off! Goodbye!"






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:41 pm; edited 2 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Story #117 stats

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:31 am

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Dec 16, 2009 10:32 pm (#2586 of 2999) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

image c/o www.harrypotterrealm.com
Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Harrymelling2

Statistics for Story 117
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic     65
  mona amon   31
  legolas returns   38
  Verity Weasley     23
  Solitaire     26
  Julia H.   17
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 200
Total Words: 1,005*
Last Submission Date: #2584, Dec 15, 2009, 10:15 am (mona amon)
Total Time to Create Story: 21 days, 22 hours, and 26 minutes

* Note: In order to clarify a section of plot in the story, one post has 10 words instead of the usual 5. This explains the extra 5 words in the story, which would have contained 1,000 words with 200 posts.






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 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

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Last edited by Potteraholic on Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:49 am; edited 2 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Story #117 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:32 am

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:08 am (#2949 of 2960) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Harrymelling2

Post-Story Comments for Story #117, Volume XI,
Potty Five Words: : "A Birthday… Surprise!"

This story was written from November 23, 2009 to December 15, 2009. Six writers contributed to the story, which is 1,005 words long. Four of the six writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Dec 16, 2009 10:34 pm: Story #117, the first tale of the Dursley Triumvirate, is up! As is true with most Five Words stories, there were some teeny-tiny hiccups along the way, but for the most part, I think we avoided inconsistencies and stayed true to character. I know some may find the ending a bit abrupt, but with only 415 posts left to fit in 2 more stories of 200 posts each, with some extra 'wiggle room' posts if we need them, sometimes a quick ending is necessary.

- mona amon, Dec 17, 2009 4:26 am: I agree. It turned out well despite the hiccups, which are probably what give a Five Words story its distinctive touch, anyway.

- Julia H., Dec 17, 2009 6:10 am: I think Vernon can be our major source of humour in these stories. Unlike this reformed Dudley, we have kept him in character.

I liked the sudden appearance of the Potters at the end of the last story.

- mona amon, Dec 17, 2009 11:19 am: I liked that too, Julia.

- Verity Weasley, Dec 17, 2009 1:52 pm: I liked the previous story. Abrupt endings can sometimes be very effective, especially in a short story format. It was an interesting slice of life at the new Dursley home.






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:43 am; edited 2 times in total

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Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:41 am

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Jan 1, 2010 5:58 pm (#2788 of 2999) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 PetuniaDursley

Potty Five Words: "Owl Post!"


Simon Dursley was playing checkers with his Gran Petunia. His Grandpa Vernon sat watching him as though he were a ticking bomb, likely to explode at any moment. It was midway through summer break and Petunia and Vernon were visiting for Dudley's birthday. They were drinking tea and having some leftover birthday cake and jelly with ice cream.

"Gran, this is cool, particularly the mandarin orange slices. Mum never makes me fun stuff like this!"

"What don't I ever make?" said Gertrude, frowning. "I thought you loved my cooking?"

Simon hurriedly looked up, saying, "Oh, Mum! I do love it, but Gran's food is always like holidays... different and special!" Petunia's thin face glowed with pride and satisfaction that her grandson enjoyed her cooking so much. It made her feel happy, especially since Dudley didn't eat many of her desserts anymore. Ever since his marriage, he had become more health conscious.

"So, Dudley," Vernon began, "where are you thinking of sending young Simon? Smeltings, of course, is an excellent school. I presume you'll be—"

"Dad there are other schools besides Smeltings… schools that will help mold Simon better. As you know, we've been exploring other options. We've even talked to Harry..." Dudley paused, looking warily at his father, expecting the worst.

"Harry?! What for?! Why speak to him?" sneered Vernon. "All his children went to that freak borstal that he attended. Why would you ask him anything about schooling for Simon? He's a Dursley, and all Dursley men go to Smeltings! It's a family tradition!" Vernon was breathing heavily and his face was turning purple. Dudley knew the warning signs and tried to change the subject to something that Vernon liked.

"We saw Aunt Marge last month and she seemed—"

"Don't try changing the subject!" growled Vernon. "I want an answer."

Dudley and Gertrude exchanged looks, and Gertrude began to speak. "Simon has been showing some unmistakable manifestations of early magic. He's clearly a wizard! Remember his first birthday party? That was only the start of his innate magical aptitude."

Vernon's face began to turn purple again and then deathly pale, for at that moment, a small, tawny owl zoomed in through the open window. Vernon stared at the yellow envelope, and Petunia whimpered.

Gertrude hurried over to the owl, unfastened the letter, and said, "It's from Hogwarts, Simon. It's addressed to you!"

Simon reached for it, as did Vernon. But Simon was faster and snatched it away.

"Dad, that's Simon's mail, not yours. He's got the right to open his own mail, after all. Just like Harry did, even though he was never allowed to that summer... when he was with us. I sometimes feel very guilty about—"

"Dad, Mom, Gran!" interrupted Simon, "Look at this! I've been invited to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry when I go back to school after I finish up primary school."

"What? Give me that!" Vernon barked.

"No, Dad. I'll read it. You get so upset when the word 'magic' is mentioned. But Dad, you're going to have to grow up! Simon's a wizard. Deal with it as it won't go away."

Vernon sat in silence, unused to being given ultimatums.

Dudley nodded and said, "Right, now that that's settled, let's dig into that cake and—"

"Wait... what's been settled?" Petunia asked in a slightly bemused tone. "Will Simon be going to Hogwarts next year or is there some other alternative?"

"Yes, next year. His place is there, where he can reach his full magical potential. What's more, he won't be alone. It'll be Lily's last year, and she'll watch out for him."

Simon nodded eagerly and asked, "Can we send both letters right away?"

"Both?"

"One to Hogwarts, accepting their invitation. And one to Lily, telling her I'm a wizard, too," Simon explained.

"Oh, Simon, you don't need an owl! Just send a letter. That's what I did," Petunia said.

Dudley turned and goggled at her. But Vernon goggled even harder. What was she saying? This thought ran through Vernon's brain like a speeding locomotive. Was it possible that his wife's attitude to magic wasn't what it seemed? How could it be that she'd kept this a secret all these years.

"You received this sort of rubbish all those years ago?"

"No, Vernon. I wrote to Dumbledore. You see, I wanted to join Lily at Hogwarts, because I missed her."

"You did?" Dudley asked. "You never told me that. You only spoke ill of her and said you were glad that she—"

"Stop! Enough!" Petunia cried. "It's time you knew... I just wanted to do magic ... like Lily did! There!" Petunia sighed heavily, then looked away. A long silence followed her emotional confession.

Dudley was about to speak, but Vernon held up his hand and quickly said, "Petunia, we should probably get going. It's late and I've—"

"Grandpa! Gran! Don't leave yet!

"No, Mum, Dad..." Dudley began. "This is important. It's time we talked about the things that you've ignored."

Gertrude spoke up. "Simon's letter needs a reply," she reminded them. "And the owl's still standing here, waiting. Simon, it's your choice."

"Yes," Petunia added, "and it is important to be open-minded—"

"I will, Gran, and thanks for understanding. It'll be great to see Hogwarts and Lily, and learn more about magic and how to fly! Actually, Harry could teach me and—"

Chuckling, Gertrude said, "I guess we'd better send those letters off, my dear."

"Right-o, Trudie!" Dudley agreed, looking at Simon. "Ready, mate?" Simon nodded enthusiastically and threw his energies into writing his letters.

"Mum, thank you for telling us about you and Aunt Lily. I know it was hard for you. And Dad, I really hope you can set aside your feelings about magic ... or maybe reassess them, given Mum's change of heart."

Dudley thought he saw the slightest nod.

"Ready, Dad!" Simon announced, handing him the letters. After attaching both to the owl's leg, he opened the window, and the owl flew into the night, toward Hogwarts.






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:42 pm; edited 2 times in total

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Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:44 am

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Jan 1, 2010 6:02 pm (#2789 of 2999) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 PetuniaDursley

Statistics for Story 118
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic     75
  mona amon   21
  Solitaire     68
  Julia H.   1
  Verity Weasley     7
  legolas returns     27
  azi   1
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 200
Total Words: 1,000
Last Submission Date: #2786, Dec 30, 2009, 4:47 am (Solitaire)
Total Time to Create Story: 13 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:50 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Story #118 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:46 am

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:08 am (#2950 of 2960) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 PetuniaDursley

Post-Story Comments for Story #118, Volume XI,
Potty Five Words: "Owl Post!"

This story was written from December 16, 2009 to December 30, 2009. Seven writers contributed to the story, which is 1,000 words long. Four of the seven writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Jan 1, 2010 6:41 pm: There were some minor inconsistencies (or almost-inconsistencies) in this story, and while Five Words stories are not perfectly constructed tales, by any stretch of the imagination, there are ways to avoid inconsistencies.

About the story itself, while it was being written, it was hard to know how contrite Petunia would be and resolute Vernon would be in his anti-magic stance. I think we did a good job of keeping all the Dursleys in character, given how we know nothing of them post-DH. If I ever got the chance to meet Jo, and ask her any questions, asking about any reconciliation between Harry and the senior Dursleys is one of the first things I'd ask her.

I think we ended the story perfectly, and the time stats confirm my opinion. It took 13 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes to write this story. This '13ish' palindromic evidence is enough to prove the perfectness of the ending, to me!

- Solitaire, Jan 2, 2010 2:48 am: I thought it was brilliant! The people who created it must be extremely gifted and creative! I hope they--what's that? My opinion doesn't count because I helped write it? Hm ... I was afraid of that.

- Potteraholic, Jan 2, 2010 3:07 am: LOL, Solitaire! Yes, we did help write it, but it's still good to hear how the process went, what difficulties, if there were any, thinking of what to write next, etc. Story participants writing post-story comments is something that Finn, who created this thread, strongly encouraged; I wish I had those posts ready at my fingertips... he said it so well... something about self-reflection or -assessment. It's a longstanding practice, but I suppose it is easier to write post-story comments when more people have contributed to the story, and the writing is more spread out, among a range of writers instead of concentrated with a few. With the holidays drawing to a close, maybe more folks will be able to join in the writing of this story and close out this thread with a BANG!

- Verity Weasley, Jan 2, 2010 3:11 am: I missed the writing of most of the last story, so it was interesting reading the finished story when I hadn't really contributed that much. It felt very short, those 200 posts don't go very far do they, but it was long enough to deal with the subject matter. I think the characterisation was consistent with all we have written about the post-DH Durselys before. It was just a little confusing about when the story was taking place. I'm not sure it was entirely clear that this was an advance notice letter, rather than the one that Harry got. But I don't think it really affected the outcome of the story in any way.

- Potteraholic, Jan 2, 2010 3:19 am: I agree, Verity, the time setting for the last story was a bit confusing: Dudley's birthday is in June, and they were eating leftover birthday cake, but it was halfway through the summer holidays, like sometime in July? (Hope the cake was in the freezer...) Then the other unclear piece... about Simon's letter being an advance letter, and not the kind Harry received ('Surprise! You're going to Hogwarts!). In hindsight, I suppose even if Dudley and Gertrude had made firm plans in advance to send Simon somewhere for secondary school, they would've been willing to change their minds quickly to send him to Hogwarts at the last minute, if he received a more 'surprise' type letter. But, as you say, those unclear details did not change the outcome of the story. So that's good, innit?

- mona amon, Jan 2, 2010 6:22 am: I think the last story turned out well. I've always felt that Petunia would be secretly thrilled to have a magical grandchild, and I think the nuances of her ambivalent attitude towards magic came out rather well in the previous two stories.

"I thought it was brilliant! The people who created it must be extremely gifted and creative!" - Soli

Hee Hee! My thoughts exactly!

- Potteraholic, Jan 2, 2010 11:02 am: Thanks for your comments, mona! Petunia's one tricky character, isn't she? I wonder what she'll end up saying/doing in this story?

Something that I wondered about in the story 'bout Simon's birthday is the how little Gertrude's parents are mentioned in their first grandchild's life. It makes them look very uninvolved, almost like the Dursleys were in Harry's life! I'm not suggesting they appear in this story, but maybe they at least get a passing mention? Perhaps they said goodbye to Simon earlier that day? Something?






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:45 am; edited 2 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Story #119

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:47 am

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Jan 9, 2010 2:17 am (#2996 of 2999) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 VernonDursley

Potty Five Words: "A Barrier Breached"


September first had finally arrived! Simon Dursley's Hogwarts trunk was loaded with robes, books, and everything else included on his list, as the Dursleys pulled into King's Cross Station.

"Dad," said Simon excitedly, "look!" He was pointing at Harry, Ginny, and Lily, who were standing by the station entrance, waving excitedly. Minutes later, Simon breathlessly joined them, while Dudley and Gertrude wrestled his heavy trunk onto a trolley.

"Shall we?" Dudley asked, and they both grabbed the handlebar and pushed the trolley over.

"Harry! Ginny! Glad to see you! We could use some help getting onto Platform 9¾," Dudley admitted.

"Yes," Gertrude agreed, "But we were hoping Petunia and Vernon would've at least tried to make it in time to say goodbye. My parents rang from the cruise ship and spoke to Simon right before we left this morning and wished him luck. He'll be so disappointed if Petunia, at least, doesn't come to see him off."

Dudley scanned the parking lot for Petunia's car while Simon asked Harry questions about Hogwarts. Suddenly, Dudley saw a familiar dark blue Vauxhall stop across the street. Petunia stepped out, saw Dudley, and stopped for a moment. Just then, the car behind hooted irritably, and she started walking quickly, calling, "Vernon, hurry! Park and let's get over there." Petunia crossed the road quickly. "It's nearly 10:30!"

"Right, dear!" Vernon mumbled, moving off into the general direction where the other cars were heading.

"Oh, Gran! You're here!" Simon exclaimed as Petunia joined them. Together they made their way towards the designated platform: the three Potters and the Dursleys making animated conversation.

"Wait!" said Petunia as they approached the ticket barrier. "Your Grandad's on his way. He'll be just a minute."

"No problem," Ginny said. "There's still twenty minutes until the train leaves."

Harry looked around, remembering how he felt all those years ago. "Aunt Petunia," said Harry suddenly, "what happened when my mum, you, and your parents came here before? How did you all get onto Platform 9¾? I know I didn't have a clue and wouldn't have known if it wasn't for Ginny's mum."

Petunia looked at Harry for a moment, somewhat shamefacedly. "Harry," she began haltingly, "there is no acceptable reason for my silence on the subject all this time."

"Aunt Petunia, it's probably not the ideal time to talk now. The train's pulling out soon. We need to get through the barrier now. Okay, Aunt Petunia... I need to know how you got through. You're the only one who knows."

"It's simple...," said Petunia. "We just have—"

"Gran, let me tell him! It was explained in my letter from Hogwarts. I guess only Muggle-born kids are told how, since everyone else would be able to enter, too. You just have to hold onto me! Harry and Ginny can help, and Lily, too! Let's go!"

Harry offered his hand to Petunia. She gingerly took it and together they advanced towards the seemingly solid surface.

"Petunia... Simon! I'm... h-h-here!" The whole group looked around. Vernon approached them; his breathing was labored. He gave a perfunctory nod to the Potters and greeted his grandson with a warm embrace.

"Glad you made it! C'mon! We need to hurry, Grandad!"

"Watch!" Lily grabbed Gertrude's hand and casually placed it on her trolley's handlebar. Then they both advanced. "Don't worry, just run right at it! You'll see!" The pair sped down to the wall and—whoosh! They disappeared!

"Our turn!" Simon pulled Vernon over and steered him towards the barrier. "Smile, Grandad. This'll be fun!"

"No! Not... Appartation!"

"No, Uncle Vernon, it's not the same. Just let Simon lead. You can trust him." Harry had instinctively reached to encourage Simon.

"Ready, steady, go!" said Simon, racing towards the barrier, with Vernon trying to hang on. Then—whoosh! They were on Platform 9¾! The gleaming scarlet steam engine appeared before them, as did Lily and Gertrude. Seconds later, Ginny and Dudley arrived, followed by Harry and Petunia. Suddenly, the steam parted allowing them a full view of the train and all the gathered families.

"COOL!" Simon exclaimed.

Vernon tried to keep an impassive face, but he couldn't help that his expression matched his thoughts. He was impressed. "Blimey, what a place! I thought it would look common, but—"

"Oh, dear! It's nearly departure time!" Gertrude interrupted. "You'd better get on the train. Harry, can you help with the trunk? We need to get it on board." Harry obliged, accompanied by Ginny and Lily.

Vernon turned to Simon. "Well my boy, are you sure this is what you want?"

"Now, Dad..."

"Yes, Grandad, more now than ever! Of course, I'll miss everyone, but I'm a wizard and I have to go to Hogwarts. I'm really sure it'll be the best school for me to go to and I'll become the best wizard I can."

"I know you'll do your best," said Petunia.

Everyone agreed and Vernon said, "Atta boy! Show 'em what us Dursleys are made of. Make us proud!"

"Time for hugs," Gertrude said, glancing at the clock.

After Simon received his grandparents' warm embraces, Harry bent over and whispered, "Steer clear of Hagrid’s stoat sandwiches." He shook Simon's hand and smiled. "Goodbye, then. Enjoy yourself! Keep an eye on Lily for me, okay?"

"Bye everyone! See you at Christmas!" Giving his parents one final hug, Simon clambered aboard the Hogwarts Express. He and Lily waved madly as the train departed.

The Dursleys and the Potters watched and waved until it was out of sight. Looking at Petunia, Vernon said, "Now, how are we supposed to get back to the real world?"

"Oh, that's easy. Just walk through. The return trip's included!" said Petunia with a mild chuckle and a wave of her hand.

"How about a cup of tea and some refreshments?" Dudley suggested. Everyone agreed, and they made their way towards the barrier. They walked through, one by one, and headed to a nearby tea room.

"Table for six," Dudley said.

"Oh, no,"said Harry. "We wouldn't want to impose. It's a family party."

"Exactly... and you're family!" Petunia declared. "Although I didn't treat you as such when should've done. Now's the right time to make amends."






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:42 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:52 am

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Jan 9, 2010 2:17 am (#2997 of 2999) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

   image c/o www.ukstudentlife.com
Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 VernonDursley

Statistics for Story 119
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Solitaire     49
  Potteraholic     86
  Verity Weasley     23
  mona amon   19
  legolas returns   28
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 205
Total Words: 1,030*
Last Submission Date: #2995, Jan 8, 2010, 5:58 pm (legolas returns)
Total Time to Create Story: 6 days, 22 hours, and 6 minutes

* Note: In order to clarify a section of plot in the story, one post, #2922, has 10 words instead of the usual 5. This explains the extra 5 words in the story, which would have contained 1,025 words with 205 posts.






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Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:53 am

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:08 am (#2951 of 2960) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 8 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 VernonDursley

Post-Story Comments for Story #119, Volume XI,
Potty Five Words: "A Barrier Breached"

This story was written from January 1, 2010 to January 8, 2010. Five writers contributed to the story, which is 1,030 words long. Five of the five writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Jan 9, 2010 7:11 am: We ended Volume XI with a trio of stories about the Dursleys set post-DH where we tried to stick to HP canon as well as canon that we had created in these other stories about the Dursley family: "The Magical Wedding", "Driving and Disapparation to... Destination, Unknown", and "The 3 Ds: Dursleys, Dementors, and Dinner". With all that canon to stick to, it was hard not to trip up sometimes!

But I think we did quite well, though some folks may think the senior Dursleys have changed too much, esp. Vernon, who didn't put up much resistance to having tea with Harry in a public tea room. Perhaps the subject of these stories, Petunia and/or Vernon trying to right their past wrongs to Harry, could've been better fleshed out in longer stories, but the palindromic length of time to write this story, 6 days 22 hours, and 6 minutes, makes me think we hit close to the mark, just like we did in the equally numerically palindromic "Owl Post!" story.

- mona amon, Jan 9, 2010 2:54 pm: Another good story, I think, and another great title, PAH. I agree that Vernon wouldn't have mellowed so easily, but I think we managed it all rather well in 200 odd posts.

- legolas returns, Jan 9, 2010 8:33 pm: In the third story I wondered if Vernon was being on his best behaviour? Given his previous views I would have thought that he would have had a lot of misgivings about Simon going to Hogwarts but just voiced them in a caring for your welfare way rather than his usual ranty self. I guess keeping in contact with his Dudley/Grandson was more important.

I also wondered if Petunia had had a cheaky with shot of Gin in her tea as she appeared to be in such a high good humor. I would have thought going back to platform 9 ¾ would have brought back a lot of mixed emotions. I am much more convinced that she could have moved on and accepted Simon as a wizard more easily than Vernon.

- Potteraholic, Jan 9, 2010 9:18 pm: legolas, thanks for your comments! In hindsight, writing stories about the senior Dursleys having a change of heart, or at least beginning to, would have been much easier, or more realistic, if told at a slower pace. A lot more things needed to be said. The 'express' stories at the end of a thread (the few times we use countdowns), are best-suited for more lighthearted tales. Oh, well! Live and learn!

- Solitaire, Jan 9, 2010 9:27 pm: … I did note that your title was absolutely perfect, as it pertained to two "barriers."

- Verity Weasley, Jan 10, 2010 1:57 am: Great title as always PAH. You really have a knack for it. I always struggle with titles for anything I write. You took the words out of my mouth in your earlier comment. I enjoyed these three stories but I did feel that they were a bit rushed for what we were trying to do. In such a short story, something has to be sacrificed. Either character development, or plot. While we had interesting events happening in these stories, they could have benefited from a bit more fleshing out, I feel. In our last story, I imagine that Vernon was under strict instructions to be on his best behaviour.






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:46 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XI, Stories #117, 118, #119 all-in-one

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:12 am

Note: Stories #117, #118, and #119 are a trio of stories about the Dursleys set post-DH and explore the notion that the Dursleys may have a bit of magic in them yet. This post lets you read all of them very easily, all in one place. Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 2752390508





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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Harrymelling2

Potty Five Words: "A Birthday… Surprise!"


Gertrude and Dudley's son, Simon was ensconced in the living room, on the big red sofa. He was reading a book with colorful pictures of cheese from around the world called Cheeses Here and Cheeses There: Cheeses, Cheeses, Everywhere! It had no words in it, but the toddler seemed captivated by the pictures, which moved when he poked them. He squealed in a delighted fashion and called out, "Da-da, Da-da!"

Dudley was bustling about, getting things ready for Simon's first birthday party. The balloons were hanging all around the room. "What's it that you're trying to show Daddy?" he cooed walking to the sofa. "Tell Daddy what you've got? Let Daddy see. Oh, you've got Auntie Greta's present!" He sat down next to his son, ruffling his hair. He bent down to look at the book.

"Da-da!" Simon grinned, pointing at an Edam cheese, "Ball!"

Shock, then panic, filled Dudley's mind as he realized exactly what this meant. His son must be magical! "Gertrude! Simon was pointing at a moving picture. He said its name and it just moved!"

Gertrude looked up from her baking with a smile. "Oh, he's just a little parrot," she smiled. "I was reading that book to him after breakfast this morning. Auntie Greta said that the pictures would only move when touched." She walked over from the counter and joined Simon and Dudley on the sofa.

"I think perhaps we should put it away until after the party," Dudley cautioned. "Dad'll throw a fit if he sees anything that seems remotely magical."

"You're probably right," agreed Gertrude, "Although if he really is a wizard, they'll have to know sooner or later. We can't hide it forever. For now, though, let's get on with the party preparations." A few hours from now, Vernon and Petunia would be arriving, and Gertrude wanted everything to be perfect.

Later that day, the doorbell rang. Simon raced excitedly toward the door, but stumbled, his little legs unsteady. Dudley opened the door, and there stood his mum and dad. Soon the house was filled with shrill cries of "Come to Gran-Gran, my little sweet-sweet." Petunia picked Simon up and gave him a hug.

Vernon cuffed him on the chin and bounced him on his knee. "That's my boy," he chortled. Simon wriggled and squealed. Fortunately, the doorbell rang again and Gertrude's Uncle Elfred entered, a large present in hand, followed soon after by Aunt Greta and Gertrude's parents.

"Has everybody met each other before? I met you two at the wedding!" boomed Greta enthusiastically, turning to the Dursleys.

"Yes," Petunia replied caustically, "I'll never forget that interesting dress you wore."

Greta's face lit up. "Did you like it? It was made especially, by Madame Malkin, for the occasion."

Petunia couldn't decide exactly what to say. Elfred saved her the trouble by choosing that moment to send rainbow-colored sparks into the air. Little Simon squealed with delight and clapped his hands as the sparks flew in multiple directions and criss-crossed just above his head. Vernon looked horror-struck, while Petunia looked firmly in the other direction. Suddenly, the fizzling embers transformed into a flock of multi-colored butterflies.

"Stop that nonsense at once!" cried Vernon furiously. "My grandson must not be subjected to the influence of this perverse behavior... this abnormality!"

"Dad! That's utterly unfair and very rude. He's only doing magic!" Dudley said in a forceful voice. Just then, Vernon's tie flew up into his large face and began slapping him, playfully.

"Elfred, please," Greta said uncomfortably. "Stop moving Mr. Dursley's tie!"

"I'm not doing that!" Elfred said, changing a snort into a cough. The assembled adults all looked puzzled and shrugged... except for Uncle Vernon, who turned purple in the face. The vein in his temple throbbed. His jaw was clenched. He looked like he was about to explode, when Simon giggled and pointed at Vernon's tie. He clapped his chubby hands and bounced up and down, mimicking the action of the errant accessory.

"Simon?" Gertrude spluttered in a slightly higher voice. "What are you doing? Why are you mimicking what that tie's doing, my little darling?"

"He's the one who's doing it? Wonderful! Already showing magical prowess at such a tender age?" Elfred exclaimed excitedly.

"Preposterous!" Vernon bellowed. "He's just a baby!"

"Didn't something similar happen with Harry when he was about that age? I remember Aunt Marge's handkerchief story..." Dudley trailed off, looking at his parents. "She was trying to pick it up and it kept blowing across the room, down the stairs and she thought it was caused by the breeze. But Harry had just been annoying her."

"He was crying," Petunia added, "because she passed unkind comments about his hair. She waved the handkerchief at him to tell him to stop blubbering, but that was when it flew out of her hand."

"I remember other things, too," Dudley exclaimed. "That jumper! The one that kept shrinking when you tried to force it over his head! I remember poor Harry saying, 'It hurts!' And soon it was so small that it would only fit a very small infant."

Aunt Greta nodded, saying, "That makes sense. It's only natural that little Simon would be magical, since both his parents carry the gene."

"WHAT???" Vernon yelled, jumping up so fast that he knocked a small vase of flowers over. He turned to Petunia and said, "I married a freak gene carrier?"

"Dad! That's enough! Don't say that your grandson is a freak, or I'll have to ask you to leave and not come back until you've stopped judging Simon for something he can't control."

"And apologized, too!" said Gertrude in a trembling voice. "For ruining Simon's birthday party with your prejudiced comments."

Vernon blinked, then said, "Fine!" and stormed toward the front door.

"Petunia?"

"I'm staying," she mumbled. Suddenly the doorbell rang, just as Vernon jerked the door open.

"Er... hello," said Harry, who was standing on the doorstep with Ginny and the kids.

"Aarrgh!!!" cried Uncle Vernon, who looked like he was going to explode. "More freaks? I'm off! Goodbye!"




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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 PetuniaDursley

Potty Five Words: "Owl Post!"


Simon Dursley was playing checkers with his Gran Petunia. His Grandpa Vernon sat watching him as though he were a ticking bomb, likely to explode at any moment. It was midway through summer break and Petunia and Vernon were visiting for Dudley's birthday. They were drinking tea and having some leftover birthday cake and jelly with ice cream.

"Gran, this is cool, particularly the mandarin orange slices. Mum never makes me fun stuff like this!"

"What don't I ever make?" said Gertrude, frowning. "I thought you loved my cooking?"

Simon hurriedly looked up, saying, "Oh, Mum! I do love it, but Gran's food is always like holidays... different and special!" Petunia's thin face glowed with pride and satisfaction that her grandson enjoyed her cooking so much. It made her feel happy, especially since Dudley didn't eat many of her desserts anymore. Ever since his marriage, he had become more health conscious.

"So, Dudley," Vernon began, "where are you thinking of sending young Simon? Smeltings, of course, is an excellent school. I presume you'll be—"

"Dad there are other schools besides Smeltings… schools that will help mold Simon better. As you know, we've been exploring other options. We've even talked to Harry..." Dudley paused, looking warily at his father, expecting the worst.

"Harry?! What for?! Why speak to him?" sneered Vernon. "All his children went to that freak borstal that he attended. Why would you ask him anything about schooling for Simon? He's a Dursley, and all Dursley men go to Smeltings! It's a family tradition!" Vernon was breathing heavily and his face was turning purple. Dudley knew the warning signs and tried to change the subject to something that Vernon liked.

"We saw Aunt Marge last month and she seemed—"

"Don't try changing the subject!" growled Vernon. "I want an answer."

Dudley and Gertrude exchanged looks, and Gertrude began to speak. "Simon has been showing some unmistakable manifestations of early magic. He's clearly a wizard! Remember his first birthday party? That was only the start of his innate magical aptitude."

Vernon's face began to turn purple again and then deathly pale, for at that moment, a small, tawny owl zoomed in through the open window. Vernon stared at the yellow envelope, and Petunia whimpered.

Gertrude hurried over to the owl, unfastened the letter, and said, "It's from Hogwarts, Simon. It's addressed to you!"

Simon reached for it, as did Vernon. But Simon was faster and snatched it away.

"Dad, that's Simon's mail, not yours. He's got the right to open his own mail, after all. Just like Harry did, even though he was never allowed to that summer... when he was with us. I sometimes feel very guilty about—"

"Dad, Mom, Gran!" interrupted Simon, "Look at this! I've been invited to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry when I go back to school after I finish up primary school."

"What? Give me that!" Vernon barked.

"No, Dad. I'll read it. You get so upset when the word 'magic' is mentioned. But Dad, you're going to have to grow up! Simon's a wizard. Deal with it as it won't go away."

Vernon sat in silence, unused to being given ultimatums.

Dudley nodded and said, "Right, now that that's settled, let's dig into that cake and—"

"Wait... what's been settled?" Petunia asked in a slightly bemused tone. "Will Simon be going to Hogwarts next year or is there some other alternative?"

"Yes, next year. His place is there, where he can reach his full magical potential. What's more, he won't be alone. It'll be Lily's last year, and she'll watch out for him."

Simon nodded eagerly and asked, "Can we send both letters right away?"

"Both?"

"One to Hogwarts, accepting their invitation. And one to Lily, telling her I'm a wizard, too," Simon explained.

"Oh, Simon, you don't need an owl! Just send a letter. That's what I did," Petunia said.

Dudley turned and goggled at her. But Vernon goggled even harder. What was she saying? This thought ran through Vernon's brain like a speeding locomotive. Was it possible that his wife's attitude to magic wasn't what it seemed? How could it be that she'd kept this a secret all these years.

"You received this sort of rubbish all those years ago?"

"No, Vernon. I wrote to Dumbledore. You see, I wanted to join Lily at Hogwarts, because I missed her."

"You did?" Dudley asked. "You never told me that. You only spoke ill of her and said you were glad that she—"

"Stop! Enough!" Petunia cried. "It's time you knew... I just wanted to do magic ... like Lily did! There!" Petunia sighed heavily, then looked away. A long silence followed her emotional confession.

Dudley was about to speak, but Vernon held up his hand and quickly said, "Petunia, we should probably get going. It's late and I've—"

"Grandpa! Gran! Don't leave yet!

"No, Mum, Dad..." Dudley began. "This is important. It's time we talked about the things that you've ignored."

Gertrude spoke up. "Simon's letter needs a reply," she reminded them. "And the owl's still standing here, waiting. Simon, it's your choice."

"Yes," Petunia added, "and it is important to be open-minded—"

"I will, Gran, and thanks for understanding. It'll be great to see Hogwarts and Lily, and learn more about magic and how to fly! Actually, Harry could teach me and—"

Chuckling, Gertrude said, "I guess we'd better send those letters off, my dear."

"Right-o, Trudie!" Dudley agreed, looking at Simon. "Ready, mate?" Simon nodded enthusiastically and threw his energies into writing his letters.

"Mum, thank you for telling us about you and Aunt Lily. I know it was hard for you. And Dad, I really hope you can set aside your feelings about magic ... or maybe reassess them, given Mum's change of heart."

Dudley thought he saw the slightest nod.

"Ready, Dad!" Simon announced, handing him the letters. After attaching both to the owl's leg, he opened the window, and the owl flew into the night, toward Hogwarts.




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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 VernonDursley

Potty Five Words: "A Barrier Breached"


September first had finally arrived! Simon Dursley's Hogwarts trunk was loaded with robes, books, and everything else included on his list, as the Dursleys pulled into King's Cross Station.

"Dad," said Simon excitedly, "look!" He was pointing at Harry, Ginny, and Lily, who were standing by the station entrance, waving excitedly. Minutes later, Simon breathlessly joined them, while Dudley and Gertrude wrestled his heavy trunk onto a trolley.

"Shall we?" Dudley asked, and they both grabbed the handlebar and pushed the trolley over.

"Harry! Ginny! Glad to see you! We could use some help getting onto Platform 9¾," Dudley admitted.

"Yes," Gertrude agreed, "But we were hoping Petunia and Vernon would've at least tried to make it in time to say goodbye. My parents rang from the cruise ship and spoke to Simon right before we left this morning and wished him luck. He'll be so disappointed if Petunia, at least, doesn't come to see him off."

Dudley scanned the parking lot for Petunia's car while Simon asked Harry questions about Hogwarts. Suddenly, Dudley saw a familiar dark blue Vauxhall stop across the street. Petunia stepped out, saw Dudley, and stopped for a moment. Just then, the car behind hooted irritably, and she started walking quickly, calling, "Vernon, hurry! Park and let's get over there." Petunia crossed the road quickly. "It's nearly 10:30!"

"Right, dear!" Vernon mumbled, moving off into the general direction where the other cars were heading.

"Oh, Gran! You're here!" Simon exclaimed as Petunia joined them. Together they made their way towards the designated platform: the three Potters and the Dursleys making animated conversation.

"Wait!" said Petunia as they approached the ticket barrier. "Your Grandad's on his way. He'll be just a minute."

"No problem," Ginny said. "There's still twenty minutes until the train leaves."

Harry looked around, remembering how he felt all those years ago. "Aunt Petunia," said Harry suddenly, "what happened when my mum, you, and your parents came here before? How did you all get onto Platform 9¾? I know I didn't have a clue and wouldn't have known if it wasn't for Ginny's mum."

Petunia looked at Harry for a moment, somewhat shamefacedly. "Harry," she began haltingly, "there is no acceptable reason for my silence on the subject all this time."

"Aunt Petunia, it's probably not the ideal time to talk now. The train's pulling out soon. We need to get through the barrier now. Okay, Aunt Petunia... I need to know how you got through. You're the only one who knows."

"It's simple...," said Petunia. "We just have—"

"Gran, let me tell him! It was explained in my letter from Hogwarts. I guess only Muggle-born kids are told how, since everyone else would be able to enter, too. You just have to hold onto me! Harry and Ginny can help, and Lily, too! Let's go!"

Harry offered his hand to Petunia. She gingerly took it and together they advanced towards the seemingly solid surface.

"Petunia... Simon! I'm... h-h-here!" The whole group looked around. Vernon approached them; his breathing was labored. He gave a perfunctory nod to the Potters and greeted his grandson with a warm embrace.

"Glad you made it! C'mon! We need to hurry, Grandad!"

"Watch!" Lily grabbed Gertrude's hand and casually placed it on her trolley's handlebar. Then they both advanced. "Don't worry, just run right at it! You'll see!" The pair sped down to the wall and—whoosh! They disappeared!

"Our turn!" Simon pulled Vernon over and steered him towards the barrier. "Smile, Grandad. This'll be fun!"

"No! Not... Appartation!"

"No, Uncle Vernon, it's not the same. Just let Simon lead. You can trust him." Harry had instinctively reached to encourage Simon.

"Ready, steady, go!" said Simon, racing towards the barrier, with Vernon trying to hang on. Then—whoosh! They were on Platform 9¾! The gleaming scarlet steam engine appeared before them, as did Lily and Gertrude. Seconds later, Ginny and Dudley arrived, followed by Harry and Petunia. Suddenly, the steam parted allowing them a full view of the train and all the gathered families.

"COOL!" Simon exclaimed.

Vernon tried to keep an impassive face, but he couldn't help that his expression matched his thoughts. He was impressed. "Blimey, what a place! I thought it would look common, but—"

"Oh, dear! It's nearly departure time!" Gertrude interrupted. "You'd better get on the train. Harry, can you help with the trunk? We need to get it on board." Harry obliged, accompanied by Ginny and Lily.

Vernon turned to Simon. "Well my boy, are you sure this is what you want?"

"Now, Dad..."

"Yes, Grandad, more now than ever! Of course, I'll miss everyone, but I'm a wizard and I have to go to Hogwarts. I'm really sure it'll be the best school for me to go to and I'll become the best wizard I can."

"I know you'll do your best," said Petunia.

Everyone agreed and Vernon said, "Atta boy! Show 'em what us Dursleys are made of. Make us proud!"

"Time for hugs," Gertrude said, glancing at the clock.

After Simon received his grandparents' warm embraces, Harry bent over and whispered, "Steer clear of Hagrid’s stoat sandwiches." He shook Simon's hand and smiled. "Goodbye, then. Enjoy yourself! Keep an eye on Lily for me, okay?"

"Bye everyone! See you at Christmas!" Giving his parents one final hug, Simon clambered aboard the Hogwarts Express. He and Lily waved madly as the train departed.

The Dursleys and the Potters watched and waved until it was out of sight. Looking at Petunia, Vernon said, "Now, how are we supposed to get back to the real world?"

"Oh, that's easy. Just walk through. The return trip's included!" said Petunia with a mild chuckle and a wave of her hand.

"How about a cup of tea and some refreshments?" Dudley suggested. Everyone agreed, and they made their way towards the barrier. They walked through, one by one, and headed to a nearby tea room.

"Table for six," Dudley said.

"Oh, no,"said Harry. "We wouldn't want to impose. It's a family party."

"Exactly... and you're family!" Petunia declared. "Although I didn't treat you as such when should've done. Now's the right time to make amends."






 * Five Words – Volume 11 Index * 

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII Index

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:25 am

This page contains a list with links to all the stories written in Volume XII.

Five Words Stories - Volume XII

NOTE: R attached to a story # refers to it being a Revision Story

• Click on Story #120 (6 Feb 2010) for "Posting for Porlocks"

• Click on Story #121 (26 Feb 2010) for "The Wandering Wizard"

• Click on Story #122 (1 April 2010) for "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970"

• Click on Story #123 (24 April 2010) for "The Wagga Wagga Werewolf: A Fantastical Tale"

• Click on Story #124 (30 May 2010) for "Fixing the Future"

• Click on Story #124R (13 June 2010) for a Revision of "Fixing the Future"

• Click on Story #125 (20 July 2010) for "The Wilkinses Remembered"

• Click on Story #122R (30 November 2010) for a Revision of "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970"

• Click on Story #116R (11 December 2010) for a Revision of "Neville and the Mandrakes: Mission Possible"

• Click on Story #113R (26 December 2010) for a Revision of "A Family Gathering"

• Click on Story #114R (9 April 2011) for a Continuation of "Dear Sisters" ... "Dear Sisters Continued"


When the Harry Potter Lexicon Forum was hosted on World Crossing, the Five Words game used to be played on the separate FanFiction Forum site. When Kip Carter agreed to move Five Words to the Main Forum, where a new volume, Volume XIII was created, there were still more than 800 posts left in Volume XII. So some Five Worders decided to use the remaining posts in Volume XII to revise past stories. The following stories in Volume XII were revised later on in this thread: #122 and #124. Links to these revised stories can be found at the end of their original versions.




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 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 7:20 pm; edited 2 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #120

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:22 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Feb 6, 2010 2:58 am (#240 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Img-thing?

Potty Five Words: “Posting for Porlocks"



9th January 2010

Dear Luna,

I was very saddened to see even more snow forecast for tomorrow. What weather! I was so eagerly anticipating our going to look for a Porlock. But there's too much snow to be able to see much in Dorset, and Eire has much more on the way, according to those Muggles that divine weather.

Have you given any thought to my previous suggestion? We could always try and do as my Gran suggested. I can ask Parvati to meet us at the end of next week, when the snow has begun to melt and we'll be able to have an easier time tracking Porlocks. Let me know if you'll be able to postpone your search. If bad weather still persists, we'll have to make other arrangements.

Best wishes,
Padma




Dear Padma,

I hope your owl returned to you safely. I thought he might get lost in that freezing blizzard.

I think you're right. We'd better put off our trip as Porlocks like snow less than humans do. Please thank your Gran for her suggestion. Grandmothers are so sensible about these things.

I hate to lose time, though. My research is important, and these delays could affect my presentation for the new nature magazine being published by Rolf Scamander. His grandfather, Newt, authored several books on natural history, including 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them', but my favorite was 'The Crumple-Horned Snorkcack: Myth or Reality'. Rolf likes it, too.

In fact, Rolf and I are going to Sweden in the summer to collect more specimens and observe the Snorkacks in the middle of molting season. He believes, as I do, that they must be protected from souvenir hunters who covet their beautifully curved horns. My dear father would be so heartbroken, were he still alive, to learn that the Snorkacks are becoming endangered. Rolf's assembling a group of volunteers to count the number of mating pairs. The young will be born in October.

More later. I need to feed my owls, Zephyr and Mistral.

Fåravel,
Luna




12th January

Luna,

Fåravel... that's Swedish for goodbye, is it? I was quite impressed to see it!

Interesting, about the Snorkacks, but I'm wondering why Porlocks distrust humans? I can't think of anyone better than you to figure this out for the Society of Equestrian Witches and Wizards. That reminds me... did you know that Porlocks can be tempted out of their hiding places simply by leaving hay sprinkled with single malt whisky nearby? It made me think that it would be something we could try next week when we go out to Dorset. Hagrid's the one with the vast knowledge of Porlocks. Whisky-soaked hay? His idea. Hagrid is so knowledgeable about magical creatures!

Anyway, the Equestrian Witches and Wizards want to use Porlocks to guard their horses, and they asked me to do some research to discover ways to earn their trust. Something seems to have destroyed it. Then again, many creatures have learned to distrust humans — and for good reason. On the other hand, maybe Porlocks never trusted humans anyway? I'll leave it to you to decide.

Looking forward to meeting up with you as the weather begins to clear.

Ciao!
Padma




13th January

Padma,

Perhaps we could meet up this Saturday, the 16th? The Muggle forecasters are predicting a clear day. We might as well try our luck in Dorset. We should be able to locate a few herds of New Forest ponies, which means there will be Porlocks nearby.

I'll ask Rolf if he'd like to join us. He's got a knack for landscape tracking: reading the landscape to locate animals. Really amazing! He'll be happy to explain it to you when we meet up with him. I think it's a Muggle technique he learned from his aunt's husband.

Anyway, with his expertise, we should be able to find some. And the whiskey-soaked hay! Are you sure Hagrid said that that would work? Yes, it should tempt a few, I guess. Who would ever think that Porlocks would have such dipsomaniac tendencies?

By the way, I'm embarrassed to admit that 'fåravel' doesn't mean 'goodbye', as I thought. It means 'sheep farming' or 'sheep breeding'. I should have written 'farväl' instead, which is a more old-fashioned, solemn way to say 'goodbye'. 'Hejdå' seemed too humdrum, if you know what I mean. Looking for Porlocks is exciting! We need to mark the occasion with evocative language and fanfare. I think we should burn a ginger-scented candle and drink some tea made with echinacea blossoms right before the hunt. That should ward off the wrackspurts.

Please let me know if you need to pick another date for our great Porlock hunt.

Until then,
Luna

P.S. Don't forget to bring a few bottles of whisky. See you soon?




22nd January

Luna,

Hope you are well and have recovered from our little adventure! Who would have guessed that Porlocks would be so ticklish? I've never seen any creature, magical or otherwise, so docile and playful. I wasn't sure what to expect with Porlocks as there was so little known and recorded about them. I've got so much information for the Society now, thanks to our observations. Just to clarify what we discussed, we can exchange notes, I thought.

First, we discovered that Hagrid was right about the whiskey-soaked hay. It makes me giggle that they actually hate it and came out of their hiding places just to remove it! I'll make sure to tell Hagrid the next time I see him. He's sure to be surprised.

Second, we found that Porlocks are incredibly ticklish, especially on the top of the neck and the stomach, rather than the knees like you thought. Luckily, we saw that pony's tail flicking a Porlock's neck completely by accident. It started laughing immediately, right?

And when Rolf managed to get close enough to it, he could see that tuft of curly hair right at the nape of their necks. There's no record of that anywhere. But they're really proud of it judging by the way they groomed themselves. Perhaps this can give us a way in to the Porlocks' good graces?

I liked the way Rolf was able to find them so easily by listening for the sound of their fingers scraping the bark off the Chestnut trees.

Now, that's all I remember. What about you?

Padma




26th January

Padma,

We certainly did learn plenty about Porlocks. So much that now I've got enough for a four-page spread in Rolf's magazine. He's calling it 'Faunæ'. I'll be sure to send it to you as soon as it's published. And our notes match completely!

Rolf is so pleased with how our little expedition went. He's already planning our next one.

I think your idea regarding flattery of the Porlocks' tuft is such a... transcendent one! I'm sure we can get one or two Porlocks to help out the Society. Then our search will have been sublimely successful!

I look forward to seeing you at Hermione's promotion party.

Your friend,
Luna






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:43 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #120 stats

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:24 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Feb 6, 2010 3:12 am (#241 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Img-thing?

Statistics for Story 120
ordered by first contribution to the story

 
User
 
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic    90
  legolas returns     34
  mona amon   25
  Puck   3
  Verity Weasley     50
  Solitaire   30
  Dryleaves   03

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 235
Total Words: 1175
Last Submission Date: #236, Feb 3, 2010 5:58 am (Verity Weasley)
Total Time to Create Story: 24 days, 22 hours, and 47 minutes






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:45 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #120 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:25 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov Nov 24, 2010 7:10 am (#2953 of 2960) [Edited Dec 2, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #120, Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: "Posting for Porlocks"

This story was written from January 9, 2010 to February 3, 2010. Seven writers contributed to the story, which is 1,175 words long. Four of the seven writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Feb 6, 2010 3:28 am: Okay, "Posting for Porlocks", the 120th story on the 12th Volume of Five Words stories, is up! Though it stalled near the end, I think this set of 6 letters worked out quite nicely... we covered a range of subjects: the inclusion of the real-world, real-time winter snowfalls that blanketed the British Isles in January 2010, Luna's acquaintance with Rolf Scamander, the mention of Xeno's death and his fascination with the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, Luna's plans to go to Sweden to study them some more, and all the Porlocks stuff with Padma. Not a bad effort, I'd say.

(In a later post, #244) I forgot to mention in my previous post that in addition to all the other information we managed to pack into those letters, there was also an explanation of the finer points of Swedish vocabulary!

(In still another post, #249) When we wrote the letters between Lily and Petunia, it seemed to go much better. Maybe because more was known about the characters? We can try letters again, perhaps, one more time, and see how it goes then?

- Verity Weasley, Feb 6, 2010 4:34 am: As for the last story, yes it did feel a bit laboured there towards the end when we were writing it, but I don't think it shows in the finished version. It reads quite well, a succinct series of informative letters that just hint at events happening 'off-stage' as it were, and leave you wondering.

(In a later post, #245) That's right, PAH. And anyone who didn't actually participate in the writing of that story will never understand how funny that exchange was and how it came about!

- Solitaire, Feb 6, 2010 11:58 am: I thought the letter exchange turned out to be really cute, Potteraholic. It was fun to read and see how it eventually wound up. I had a more difficult time working with the letter format, for some reason. It seemed harder for me to follow the train of thought, and I had to keep gong back and reading the entire exchange each time I posted ... which is why I eventually dropped out. It was just too much with everything that has been happening around here.

- mona amon, Feb 7, 2010 11:19 am: I thought the last story turned out really well. Who'd have expected it? The fåravel/farväl mistake was a wonderful touch, though I guess it's an inside joke! Good thing Dryleaves was there to point it out. A very appropriate thing to happen when writing a Luna story.






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:49 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #121

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:41 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Feb 24, 2010 9:08 pm (#645 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Potty Five Words: "The Wandering Wizard"


Sirius Black dropped the bone he had been gnawing and looked anxiously towards the sky. He had been completely preoccupied by his meal, as it had been his first in several days. He thought he had caught a white blur out of the corner of his eye. He was anxious to hear again from his godson and worried about his participation in the upcoming first task of the Triwizard Tournament. The article in the Daily Prophet, naming Harry as the fourth champion, was far too sentimental. It also unnerved Sirius. He couldn't believe that the Goblet had been easily fooled.

A set of approaching footsteps startled him, and he was caught off-guard. He spun around, crouched down, and growled. There, looking tired and haggard, stood Remus Lupin. He held out his hand in greeting and Sirius grasped it warmly.

"You! I wasn't sure whom to expect as I thought that I might've been spotted by a nosy villager when I went scavenging for food just now. How did you find me?"

Remus looked at Sirius's gaunt face with concern. "Dumbledore gave me an idea when I saw him last week in London. He had come over to meet the other members of the Wizengamot."

"So he's reading the signs that others are choosing to ignore and pretend aren't happening. Tell me, have you seen Harry since he found out he will be participating in the Triwizard Tournament?" Sirius croaked, his voice raspy.

"He owled Arthur, and I happened to be at the Burrow then. I tried to find out who Dumbledore thought was responsible, but if he suspects anyone, he's keeping it to himself," Remus admitted. He glanced around, towards the Forbidden Forest, and shivered. He couldn't shake the feeling that Harry was going to be facing mortal danger.

"Why couldn't Dumbledore stop Harry from participating? Surely he has figured out how to best protect him from Voldemort by now," Sirius muttered.

Remus looked at him in surprise. "Surely you know that Dumbledore's doing everything in his power. He got Mad-Eye out of retirement, didn't he?"

Sirius didn't look totally mollified when Remus mentioned Mad-Eye's name. "He's a little jumpy these days."

"And he's not the only one Dumbledore's talked to," Remus continued. "He's been in touch with most of the old gang. The upset at the Quidditch World Cup, with the Dark Mark's appearance, caused many rumors, and Dumbledore feels that extreme caution is warranted.”

Sirius grimaced. "I wish I could've been there to watch it."

"Watch it? I thought you'd have gone after the Death Eaters who tortured those poor Muggles."

"Yes, that would've served them right... a nice bite on a bigot's backside would've been just desserts." Sirius smiled, “At least I'd feel more involved."

"So where were you?"

"I was in a remote area on the coast, north of here. I'd been planning to return ever since I got an owl from Harry. I passed on what he told me to Dumbledore, but I also wanted to be close by... just in case."

"You must try to be careful as Wormtail's bound to be planning his revenge," cautioned Remus.

"Wormtail? Pooh! If that lying—"

"Hang on," Remus interrupted. "You should be lying low. Weren't you somewhere tropical? How did you get here? Anyplace warm is a long way from Harry, and I know how determined you are to be near him."

"It wasn't easy, mate." Sirius frowned as he recalled his difficult journey back. "I had to leave my comfortable tropical refuge — Brazil's such a beautiful place — in a Muggle aeroplane, since I didn't have a wand and I hadn't a passport, either."

"A passport? Is that like a Portkey?" Remus asked with a smile.

"Well I suppose, sort of. I had to persuade a young boy to let me borrow his toy car that you could operate by remote control. Without a wand, you could make it do maneuvers of every description." Seeing Remus' astonished expression made Sirius chuckle. "Those Muggles really are inventive. Arthur would've just loved it! Anyway, the device sends out signals, which I harnessed to my advantage. I managed to cause a big enough diversion to enable me to slip onto the plane completely unnoticed. Those contraptions are so useful and could be used as a prank." His eyes twinkled mischievously and a momentary grin flickered across haggard face and disappeared almost immediately.

"So how was the plane ride? I don't know how Muggles can get those metal boxes to fly. Anyway," Remus continued, "where did you go next?"

"Well first of all, I went to New York, as I got on the wrong plane. It's so confusing, Muggle travel. I thought that the Floo Network was bad enough, but traveling by aeroplane is really terrifying. I never want to repeat the experience. I remembered an old friend once told me that he'd flown across the Atlantic on a broomstick and he went straight to St. Mungo's because his injuries were so… um... delicate and tender, if you get my meaning." Sirius broke into a broad grin.

"What happened in New York?"

"I found that it was much more difficult to go anywhere. They were so strict about security. However, I somehow managed to Confund the officials and get into the plane going to London. It just took a bit of wandless magic and a good deal of luck, and I was back in good old Blighty. I was thankful to be back on home soil. My problems didn't end there, as I ran into a Muggle official who asked me for identification. I had to take advantage of a momentary distraction in the form of an exploding light bulb to slip out of sight and transform into Padfoot."

"I bet you were glad to be rid of the place," Remus remarked, "though I have a feeling you might've enjoyed outwitting all those Muggle officials."

"True, but I needed to get up north where I'd left Buckbeak before heading to Brazil. He was very glad to stop flying about, as he'd fallen ill just before I was set to leave. I had to contact Dumbledore, and let him know where I was going to leave Buckbeak. The rest did him a lot of good." Sirius waved his hand towards the clump of trees where Buckbeak was eating some small animals. "An old wizard named Worple, who sold Hagrid the Hippogriffs, took care of him, up in the remote far north. But before I left London, I went to Grimmauld Place. The last time I stepped in that awful place, I was on the run from the Ministry of Magic and trying to get to Hogwarts but Peter caught up with me."

"I know. I still can't believe that he'd kill all those Muggles," Remus agreed. "I wonder what he's up to? If Voldemort's really on his return to power."

Sirius looked thoughtful. "I don't know for sure, but I hope Dumbledore has some idea. I'll tell you this though, the Daily Prophet is reporting such drivel that you'd have thought that Rita Skeeter was downing pints of Ogden's every time she wrote with her blasted quill!"

Remus shook his head. "That woman! I can't abide her!" Behind them, Buckbeak snorted loudly, as if agreeing to every word they'd said. After all, Rita had written some terrible things about him too. "So," Remus continued, "what made you turn up at Grimmauld Place? And how's Kreacher?"

Sirius held up an elf's pillowcase. "Useless git! I asked him to find me some spare robes or an old wand, and he gives me this nasty thing instead. He always finds a way to be difficult and unhelpful. Staying there was the most unpleasant experience... almost as bad as Azkaban!"

Remus suppressed a grin and said, "At least you're not prone to howling at the moon once a month!"

Sirius chuckled, then frowned, saying, "I had a narrow escape from there."

"Why... what happened?"

"As I was leaving, I ran into a couple of Dementors! The Ministry had somehow forgotten to inform them that I wasn't supposed to be given the kiss."

"Well, actually, the only order the Ministry gave was to withdraw the Dementors from Hogwarts. Nothing more."

"Oh well, you can't have everything, I suppose," Sirius muttered. "At least I had a chance to talk to Harry properly during our brief time together before I had to go into hiding."

“What are you going to do now?" Remus asked.

"Well, I'm definitely not going back to Azkaban," Sirius retorted. "Which is why I pulled out all the stops to escape those Dementors. It wasn't easy, I can tell you, especially without a wand. There were Muggles around on the street, so I headed straight for them, walking as fast as I could. They were laughing about something, and I thought they'd be safe from the Dementors because they were happy."

"Laughter's best for Boggarts but you wouldn't feel—"

"Not now, Professor," Sirius laughed.

Remus looked a little ashamed, and smiled sheepishly. "Go on."

"The Dementors went towards one of the Muggles. I pushed open a shop door and shoved him in, as well as his friend, and quickly closed the door. Alone. Wandless. At risk of getting my soul sucked out of me right there and then, I transformed into my shaggy self. Just then, two Ministry people Apparated right next to the Dementors — a young woman, who looked vaguely familiar — and the Auror, Dawlish. They headed towards me, running, wands out. They both cast patronuses, repelling them immediately."

"Dawlish, and who else?" Remus asked curiously. "Can you describe the woman?"

Sirius frowned reminiscently. "She had pink hair," he said. "Pretty, with a heart-shaped face. Anyway, I reckoned that revealing my true form was probably not advisable, with Aurors and Muggles around. I wasn't sure if they were in the area because of me, or for some reason of their own, and I wasn't keen to find myself back in Azkaban. I'm sure I heard them mention that I'd been sighted in London. Some Death Eaters' names were also mentioned, so maybe they arranged the attack?"

Remus looked thoughtful. "I could ask Kingsley Shacklebolt. He'd know. Meanwhile, that was pulling out all the stops, was it?" Remus asked in a slightly sarcastic voice.

"Have you ever tried to escape a Dementor without a wand, Moony?”

"Point taken. It isn't something I'd like to face." Remus shuddered. "What stopped you succumbing to their power?"

"The Aurors, mate!"

"Right. So, what did they do about the Muggles?" said Remus.

"Those two blokes charged out gesticulating wildly and pointing at me, but I sloped away as nonchalantly as I could. I didn't wait around to watch the Muggles get Obliviated. I'm not sure what they would've said. After all, I saved them, didn't I?"

Remus didn't look convinced. "Muggles wouldn't know that they'd just been saved from a fate worse than death. Er... that pink-haired Auror should be known to you. She's closely related. In actual fact, she's your favorite cousin's daughter."

"That's Nymphadora?" Sirius said in surprise. "I haven't seen her—"

"Since Voldemort murdered James and Lily and tried to kill Harry." They both fell silent as they remembered their absent friends.

"So... little Dora's an Auror now? That's good! At least she turned out to have some sense!"

"She's a lovely girl," said Remus. "From what I hear, she's quite a good Auror. I guess it helps being a Metamorphmagus. So, would you like to see her again?"

Sirius nodded. "Absolutely! She saved my life and I'm really fond of anyone who does that. Could you arrange it?"

"Consider it done," Remus replied with a smile.

"It would be best if she visited here as I'm not planning to go too far astray, with so many visitors coming to watch the tournament. I just want to be near Harry, in case he needs any support or encouragement."

"What an excellent godfather you've turned out to be!" Remus said, smiling. "Lily and James made the right choice!"






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:43 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #121 stats

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:45 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Feb 26, 2010 12:22 am (#646 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Statistics for Story 121
ordered by first contribution to the story

 
User 
  # of Submissions  
  Verity Weasley     81
  Potteraholic     129
  legolas returns   90
  Solitaire   33
  Julia H.   12
  Dryleaves   1
  mona amon   48
  Snuffles   8

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 402
Total Words: 2010
Last Submission Date: #644, Feb 24, 2010, 9:06 pm (legolas returns)
Total Time to Create Story: 18 days, 16 hours, and 32 minutes






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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #121 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:46 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov Nov 24, 2010 7:10 am (#2954 of 2960) [Edited Dec 2, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #121, Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: "The Wandering Wizard"

This story was written from February 6, 2010 to February 24, 2010. Eight writers contributed to the story, which is 2,010 words long. Five of the eight writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Feb 26, 2010 12:23 am: Story #121 is up! It was a twisty-turny tale, wasn't it? It was fun trying to come up with a scenario of how Sirius might've spent his time after flying off on Buckbeak and showing up at Hogwarts again a few months later. Though I did find it challenging, at times, trying to keep the canon straight. But most everything makes sense, sort of. What do you think?

- mona amon, Feb 26, 2010 4:46 am: The last story was good! Very entertaining. LOL @ the transatlantic broomstick flight and Kreacher giving Sirius an Elf's pillowcase when he asked for robes!

- Verity Weasley, Feb 26, 2010 4:59 am: I'm not sure that last story was one of our best, now that I read it through all together. There are some good bits of dialogue, like the part mona mentioned with the pillowcase, but some of the longer sections of dialogue seem to get lost half way through. They sound like they're going in a certain direction, and then head somewhere else entirely. For example, in the paragraph where Sirius is describing his journey back, he mentions a friend in New York, and a transatlantic broom journey. It seems as though he would have gone to find the friend to get help, or even borrow a broom, but then next thing, he's back on the Muggle aeroplane, making that whole section of dialogue fairly redundant.

Essentially, I think the problem was that we got stuck with a story that consisted of a conversation between two characters, nothing more. We needed some action, something actually happening, to drive the story. It was OK, but certainly not great.

- Potteraholic, Feb 26, 2010 5:39 am: Thanks for you feedback, Verity! I agree with the points you raised re: the story basically being a conversation, and the whole flight to New York section. I brought up the action issue here, after you had once before that, but I guess there was too much text to read in my post, LOL!

Also, the plane section was written during our posting spree. I think when posting happens at a fast pace, the potential is there for the story to get ahead of itself, so to speak, where inconsistencies/trip-ups/etc. can occur. While I was updating my compiled version and the stats when that part was being written, I remember being a bit confused about things, and even asking some questions along the way. I remember at one point, I posted a 'PLEASE STOP' post, to check the word count, but I also thought we needed to slow down a bit and think about what we'd written/were writing.

- legolas returns, Feb 26, 2010 8:03 am: I know you joked about calling it "Sirius and his immigration issues". I think we spent a little to long on that. I agree about the too much dialogue compared to action.

- Solitaire, Feb 26, 2010 10:05 am: I agree with Verity about some of the longer pieces of dialogue. There are a couple which, I think, actually start with Sirius and end with Remus ... or the other way around. Perhaps that is why they seem a little confusing.

I did note, like some others have mentioned, that some of the characters' comments seemed kind of awkward. A story that is mainly dialogue is probably harder to write in the 5-words way, because there are so many of us submitting, and we all have our own unique ways of putting words together. Having 4-5 people constructing the syntax of a single sentence of dialogue is quite a feat! Given the difficulty some of my students have in properly constructing and formatting the give-and-take of a conversation between two characters--and I see this issue in every single writing assignment I make--I think everything turned out very well ...






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:50 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 11:06 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Apr 1, 2010 12:40 am (#1047 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Potty Five Words: "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970"


"Lupin, Remus!"

The Sorting Ceremony was in full swing. Remus settled on the stool and put on the hat with a tear along its brim. With barely a moment's hesitation, the hat shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!" and immediately fell silent. Remus heaved a big sigh of relief as he joined the Gryffindor table.

Other names followed. "Pettigrew, Peter!" and then "Potter, James!"

"GRYFFINDOR!" the Sorting Hat called again and again.

Soon the ceremony ended, after "Snape, Severus!" had been Sorted into Slytherin along with Hemlock Wilkes.

James was tucking into a large pork chop. Sirius Black, sitting next to him, was also enjoying his meal. "Kreacher's food was horrible in comparison to these vittles."

"Who's Kreacher?" Remus asked, leaning across to reach for the pumpkin juice.

"He's the family House Elf. He hates me. Mum and Dad encourage his bad behavior and he's an annoying little—"

"You're here now, mate. Forget about it and enjoy the food. And," James continued, "pass the applesauce and the bowl of mashed potatoes."

The feast soon came to an end and the students were dismissed to their dormitories. Lily Evans, another Gryffindor, walked towards the Slytherin table. "Severus!" she called out.

A dark-haired Slytherin first-year immediately looked around, smiled, and said, "I'm sorry we didn't get to talk after the Sorting. It's a shame that you're not in Slytherin," Severus began. "Still, we'll have some classes together. I'm looking forward to Potions especially! Maybe we can sit together."

Lily nodded in agreement. "The hat seemed quite sure that I should be in Gryffindor. I don't mind except that I'm in the same house as those two idiots on the train. I'm planning on avoiding those two, but the other Gryffindors seem very nice."

"I wish you could see my room," Severus enthused, "but we're not allowed visitors from other houses yet." They parted at the doors, Lily heading upstairs to the Gryffindor Tower, whilst Severus descended to the floor below.

The maze of changing staircases prompted Lily to run to catch up with the rest of the Gryffindors. "The password's 'belladonna'", said the Head Girl called Joanne Rowling. "Don't forget it, or you'll be sleeping out here with Peeves and Mrs. Norris. If you're very unlucky Filch may give you a detention cleaning bedpans, without using your wands."

James chuckled. "Filch seems to hate Wizard kids, doesn't he?"

"Maybe just the obnoxious, annoying ones," responded Lily.

James nudged Sirius. "Listen to her, will you? She's probably referring to us. I don't think she likes us."

Lily walked silently through the door, without acknowledging their comment. The other two followed.

A few days later, on their way to Transfiguration, Remus and Peter sank through a trick stair. They were stuck there, side by side, until an auburn-haired Ravenclaw came along. "Oh dear! I see you've been caught. It only takes one time and you'll never be caught again." She smiled, pointed her wand, and uttered, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

Slowly, Remus began to rise. Once he was out, Peter was able to wriggle free and then they set off for Professor McGonagall's classroom, hoping they weren't that late. McGonagall was stern but understanding. Still, Remus and Peter didn't ever want to be late again. Not after they saw what happened when James and Sirius accidentally turned their match into feathers. They were late, too, that day and didn't bother to ask about the instructions they'd need to transfigure the match properly.

"Counterclockwise," McGonagall had instructed clearly, "with a little flick of the wrist, otherwise you'll end up with something quite unexpected."

The boys truly enjoyed Transfiguration lessons with McGonagall. Potions, however, was a different story. Professor Slughorn was jolly enough, but neither Remus nor the other Gryffindor boys, except Sirius, seemed to interest him. Lily, however, had quickly become his favorite, along with Severus. They both joined the Potions Master for visits to the lake, where an interesting patch of leaping toadstools could be found.

"Now class," McGonagall continued briskly. "For homework, you will need to practice turning your matches into needles. I expect everyone to be able to do it perfectly before the next class."

"That soon, Professor?" asked Peter tremulously. He'd had no success with his match, as it had remained stubbornly, and most decidedly, a match.

However, instead of practicing their wand movements, Peter and Remus decided that they couldn't be bothered and chose to spend the weekend exploring the grounds. "Remus, after breakfast, we should go down to the Forbidden Forest," Peter suggested.

"Okay," Remus agreed, "but isn't it out of bounds?"

"What is?" James said, with the light of mischief twinkling in his eyes.

"The Forbidden Forest," Remus said, is sure to have many fascinating creatures, but we're not supposed to go there, right?"

"Well," said Sirius, joining the conversation, "that's the best reason to do it, because it's not allowed!"

"Well we could always use my cloak, I guess. It'll cover all four of us, I think. We'll be able to take it off once we get to the forest," James said, winking conspiratorially. The four of them smiled and nodded in agreement.

Very soon, the four boys left the castle and proceeded slowly down the path, under the invisibility cloak. It was a bit uncomfortable, but they were sure they hadn't been spotted.

"Let's go over there," Sirius suggested, pointing towards a tree quite far into the forest. There was an interesting path that led to it.

"We can take off the cloak now as we're out of sight," said Remus matter-of-factly.

They shrugged off the cloak and looked all around. "I'm not sure about this," Peter whispered, his eyes darting furtively to the shadows beyond the nearest trees. "I've heard there are werewolves in here," he continued, edging closer to Remus.

James laughed. "I don't think—"

A loud SNAP! in the undergrowth made them all jump at once. "What was that?" whispered a very frightened and cowering Peter.

"Wands out!" Sirius commanded, as they peered into the foliage.

"Maybe we should head back," Remus suggested, but James and Sirius seemed too intent on investigating the mysterious sound, and started walking towards it. Suddenly, a menacing growl was heard, making them both retreat, faster than you could say, "Expelliarmus!"

"Fang! Heel!" a voice boomed. "How many times have I told yeh not to go chasing them bowtruckles?" Rubeus Hagrid, Hogwarts' caretaker, emerged from the gloom and advanced towards the four Gryffindors. "What yeh doin' wanderin' around here? Back ter school! Come, Fang!" Hagrid shepherded the miscreants back to the castle, then went to reinforce the fence around the newly-planted Whomping Willow.

The friends headed for the lake and saw the giant squid basking in the shallows. Lily was tickling his tentacles and Severus was sitting nearby, watching. "Sev, come and look," she called, "he's so friendly!"

Severus inched closer and cautiously reached down. One lone finger gingerly touched the squid and quickly retracted. "There, I've touched it."

Sirius walked up to the pair and said, "What are you doing with a slimy creature like that? Don't you think you could find something better to hang out with?"

"I like the giant squid and he's really not slimy," retorted Lily.

"I wasn't referring to the squid!" Sirius quipped, winking at James.

"Who are you talking about then?" Lily demanded angrily. She suddenly realized what Sirius meant, stood up quickly and stuck her finger into Sirius' face. "You take that back! Why are you always so nasty? Come on Sev, let's go!" She hauled him to his feet and they headed toward the castle.

"Wait!" James called.

Lily turned, glaring at James as though he was a rotten flobberworm. "Well? What do you want?” she asked accusingly. "More insults?" And without waiting to hear his answer, she turned on her heel and stormed off.

Severus looked back at the taunting duo with disdain and wondered why they continued to follow him and Lily around. "Always have to pair up to pick on someone. Pathetic!" Severus proclaimed, vehemently. "Brave Gryffindors? Don't make me laugh!"

Lily, calling over her shoulder, said, "Don't worry about those arrogant toerags, Sev. They just want attention."

James sighed as he watched her retreating back. Sirius shrugged and Severus left.

"Why did you do that if you like that girl?" Remus asked.

"But I didn't say anything this time!" James protested, loudly.

"Then why didn't you stop Sirius from having a go at Severus?"

"She really didn't give me a chance, Remus."

"It's hard luck when the girl you fancy," Sirius began, "won't even give you the time of day!"

"Shut up! I don't even like her!"

"Why not?" Peter asked. "Lily is very pretty and popular. She's a nice girl and very talented from what I can see in all of our classes."

"She's a swot," Sirius muttered. "Who'd want to go out with someone like that?"

"Sirius, you know you get good marks yourself. Maybe you're a swot too," laughed James.

"Well, I'm naturally brilliant, suave, sophisticated and handsome," Sirius replied, clapping his friend's back.

"Suave? What does that mean?" Peter asked, unsure if Sirius knew what he was talking about. The four of them just laughed the whole thing off and headed back to the castle.

Lily and Severus had flopped down under the shade of a tree. The water was so calm and peaceful. Despite the taunting, Severus was enjoying the warm September day, especially with Lily sitting beside him and chatting about their latest Potions lesson. They had both found that they enjoyed the artful complexity of potion-making. Other students complained about all the chopping and measuring, but Severus was fascinated by the endless possibilities in combining different ingredients.

"Did you see what happened when I combined the dried nettles with stewed horn slugs?" asked Lily.

"Yes," Severus smiled. "That wisp of purple smoke rose and spun in circles! That was amazing!"

"And when you added the crushed snake fangs, sparks twinkled right above the cauldron's surface!" added Lily excitedly. "Reminded me of when Tuney had sparklers on her birthday cake."

"I still can't believe she had the nerve to write to the Headmaster, asking to be accepted into this school. She's not magical at all! Muggles don't belong here. She—"

"Hang on, Sev," Lily protested. "I know Tuney has been a bit rude to you when we've been together, but she's still my sister and she must feel so awful not being able to come here. So don't be mean!"

"But, Lily, I only meant that she wouldn't fit in here. She'd be an outcast," Severus explained. "She'd always say the wrong thing, and—"

"You're just being cruel, Sev! Stop! Besides, you're one to talk! You don't exactly fit in back home, do you?"

"I don't care about fitting in with Muggles. I've never felt the need to talk to them or get to know them!"

Beside herself, Lily seethed, "My whole family are Muggles, so I guess you don't want me around either! I might as well become friends with that Gryffindor gang! At least they aren't prejudiced against Muggle-borns!" With that, Lily got up, whipped around, and marched off towards the castle.

Severus rushed after her, saying, "Lily, wait! That's not what I meant at all. You are the best sort of person I've ever met." He faltered, then said, "I'm sorry for saying... I didn't mean to..." Severus looked awkwardly down at his scuffed shoes.

Lily sighed. She stopped and turned back, saying, "Sev. Listen. Sometimes you get carried away when you talk about Muggles. Remember, I'm Muggle-born! Merlin's pants! The next thing I know, you'll be hating me, too. I couldn't be friends with someone who hated people because they're Muggles—"

“I don't," Severus interrupted. "Really."

Lily's stare penetrated his own, as if she were trying to read his thoughts. "Sev, let's forget it, okay? Why don't we go to the library and research rare potion ingredients? Maybe Professor Slughorn will be there, too."

Severus nodded, and they walked off together.

This story was revised later, in this Volume, and can be found here.




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Last edited by Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 4:57 pm; edited 3 times in total

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Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 11:13 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Apr 1, 2010 12:40 am (#1048 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Statistics for Story 122
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic   145
  mona amon  41
  Verity Weasley     79
  legolas returns     60
  Solitaire  44
  freshwater     2
  Phoenixfeather     29

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 400
Total Words: 2000
Last Submission Date: #1046, Mar 31, 2010, 2:43 am (Solitaire)
Total Time to Create Story: 1 month, 5 days, 22 hours, 9 minutes






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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 14 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #122 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:46 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:10 am (#2955 of 2960) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #122, Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970"

This story was written from February 26, 2010 to March 31, 2010. Seven writers contributed to the story, which is 2,000 words long. Five of the seven writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Apr 2, 2010 2:36 am: I think we did a great job of including bits of Potterverse into the story in a very natural, informative, and entertaining way. I think we stuck to character pretty well throughout the writing of this story, writing some humorous dialogue, but we sometimes forget that we were writing about the Marauders as first years, and not as the young wizards we saw in Snape's Worst Memory. There were 6 principal characters: the 4 Marauders, Lily, and Snape. Lily and Snape's sections were the strongest, in my opinion. I suppose it's because it's easier to write dialogue between two people, as opposed to four. In the Young Marauders' section, with 4 people interacting and speaking, we needed to work harder to give ALL 4 of them something to say and/or do, esp. Peter. But I think we managed well enough in their sections.

- Verity Weasley, Apr 2, 2010 7:57 am: As for the last story, yes, it certainly did take a long time to write. I think it got better in the second half, from when the Marauders went out to the forest. The first half seemed a little disjointed, jumping around a bit without really including enough description or commentary to link the early parts together. I think that can happen when the writing of the story is moving slowly because otherwise it would feel like we are spending a week on describing a particular setting or exchange. I liked the interaction between the Marauders and Lily and Sev, but I agree with PAH that the characterisation probably more closely resembles the later Marauders. The pace seemed to pick up at the end, and that was great.

- legolas returns, Apr 3, 2010 9:03 am: I agree the beginning of the last story jumps through a number of different things but I guess that’s what needs to happen to get to the good stuff. Not much happens in PS until a good way through. We just took a shortcut.

Someone mentioned that Peter didn't say much but I got the impression from all of the memories that he was a "hanger-on" rather than someone who contributed to the group. In some of the memories didn't he just begin to look interested when Snape was hung upside-down? McGonagall mentions him also in POA and doesn't really say much to his credit.

I guess the stuff about fancying Lily is stretching it a little. I don't really know much about 11 year-olds but I guess they wouldn't be that in touch with feelings and such. I could imagine that Sirius might have repeated what he heard someone older than him say about himself but without totally understanding.

I like how Lupin was challenging people for being mean to others. Way to go! It didn't stop them then and wouldn't stop them later.

- Phoenixfeather, Apr 3, 2010 1:07 pm: It did jump around, but for me one theme did emerge out of it all - how 2 very different boys found themselves attracted to Lily, and both screwed it up in their own uniquely prejudiced way - James hating Slytherin and Severus hating Muggles. The story could have been called Wait...Lily!

- legolas returns, Apr 3, 2010 1:12 pm: In the end, Phoenixfeather. there was one loser and one winner. I agree with what your say though about the prejudice.

- Phoenixfeather, Apr 3, 2010 1:23 pm: legolas, you're right about that - it is a bit ironic how that switches in years to come...

- Solitaire, Apr 5, 2010 1:42 am: Regarding the specific story, I liked it. I agree with whoever said that some of the characters' comments seemed to be more like the older characters--was that you, PAH, or perhaps Verity? I think it is natural, though, considering we don't really see much of the Marauders as young kids. Then again, the Trio, even when they are quite young, seem older than regular Muggle characters of the same age in Muggle books (or in real life "Muggledom") ... well, they do to me. Perhaps it is the serious nature of their "adventures" and the knowledge of what lies ahead for Harry that makes them seem more advanced than their real life counterparts.

About the young Marauders ... it was interesting to see the focus on Sirius rather than James, since we know that James was the Marauder who was really smitten with Lily, even as a younger kid. Peter and Lupin didn't seem to say much. I had thought, in the earliest part of the story, that things might focus on Remus--perhaps explain how the others came to know he was a Werewolf and how they, as well as Lily, initially reacted. I guess we never really know where a story will go, do we?






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:52 am; edited 1 time in total

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