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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII Index

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:25 am

This page contains a list with links to all the stories written in Volume XII.

Five Words Stories - Volume XII

NOTE: R attached to a story # refers to it being a Revision Story

• Click on Story #120 (6 Feb 2010) for "Posting for Porlocks"

• Click on Story #121 (26 Feb 2010) for "The Wandering Wizard"

• Click on Story #122 (1 April 2010) for "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970"

• Click on Story #123 (24 April 2010) for "The Wagga Wagga Werewolf: A Fantastical Tale"

• Click on Story #124 (30 May 2010) for "Fixing the Future"

• Click on Story #124R (13 June 2010) for a Revision of "Fixing the Future"

• Click on Story #125 (20 July 2010) for "The Wilkinses Remembered"

• Click on Story #122R (30 November 2010) for a Revision of "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970"

• Click on Story #116R (11 December 2010) for a Revision of "Neville and the Mandrakes: Mission Possible"

• Click on Story #113R (26 December 2010) for a Revision of "A Family Gathering"

• Click on Story #114R (9 April 2011) for a Continuation of "Dear Sisters" ... "Dear Sisters Continued"


When the Harry Potter Lexicon Forum was hosted on World Crossing, the Five Words game used to be played on the separate FanFiction Forum site. When Kip Carter agreed to move Five Words to the Main Forum, where a new volume, Volume XIII was created, there were still more than 800 posts left in Volume XII. So some Five Worders decided to use the remaining posts in Volume XII to revise past stories. The following stories in Volume XII were revised later on in this thread: #122 and #124. Links to these revised stories can be found at the end of their original versions.




 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 7:20 pm; edited 2 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #120

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:22 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Feb 6, 2010 2:58 am (#240 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Potty Five Words: “Posting for Porlocks"



9th January 2010

Dear Luna,

I was very saddened to see even more snow forecast for tomorrow. What weather! I was so eagerly anticipating our going to look for a Porlock. But there's too much snow to be able to see much in Dorset, and Eire has much more on the way, according to those Muggles that divine weather.

Have you given any thought to my previous suggestion? We could always try and do as my Gran suggested. I can ask Parvati to meet us at the end of next week, when the snow has begun to melt and we'll be able to have an easier time tracking Porlocks. Let me know if you'll be able to postpone your search. If bad weather still persists, we'll have to make other arrangements.

Best wishes,
Padma




Dear Padma,

I hope your owl returned to you safely. I thought he might get lost in that freezing blizzard.

I think you're right. We'd better put off our trip as Porlocks like snow less than humans do. Please thank your Gran for her suggestion. Grandmothers are so sensible about these things.

I hate to lose time, though. My research is important, and these delays could affect my presentation for the new nature magazine being published by Rolf Scamander. His grandfather, Newt, authored several books on natural history, including 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them', but my favorite was 'The Crumple-Horned Snorkcack: Myth or Reality'. Rolf likes it, too.

In fact, Rolf and I are going to Sweden in the summer to collect more specimens and observe the Snorkacks in the middle of molting season. He believes, as I do, that they must be protected from souvenir hunters who covet their beautifully curved horns. My dear father would be so heartbroken, were he still alive, to learn that the Snorkacks are becoming endangered. Rolf's assembling a group of volunteers to count the number of mating pairs. The young will be born in October.

More later. I need to feed my owls, Zephyr and Mistral.

Fåravel,
Luna




12th January

Luna,

Fåravel... that's Swedish for goodbye, is it? I was quite impressed to see it!

Interesting, about the Snorkacks, but I'm wondering why Porlocks distrust humans? I can't think of anyone better than you to figure this out for the Society of Equestrian Witches and Wizards. That reminds me... did you know that Porlocks can be tempted out of their hiding places simply by leaving hay sprinkled with single malt whisky nearby? It made me think that it would be something we could try next week when we go out to Dorset. Hagrid's the one with the vast knowledge of Porlocks. Whisky-soaked hay? His idea. Hagrid is so knowledgeable about magical creatures!

Anyway, the Equestrian Witches and Wizards want to use Porlocks to guard their horses, and they asked me to do some research to discover ways to earn their trust. Something seems to have destroyed it. Then again, many creatures have learned to distrust humans — and for good reason. On the other hand, maybe Porlocks never trusted humans anyway? I'll leave it to you to decide.

Looking forward to meeting up with you as the weather begins to clear.

Ciao!
Padma




13th January

Padma,

Perhaps we could meet up this Saturday, the 16th? The Muggle forecasters are predicting a clear day. We might as well try our luck in Dorset. We should be able to locate a few herds of New Forest ponies, which means there will be Porlocks nearby.

I'll ask Rolf if he'd like to join us. He's got a knack for landscape tracking: reading the landscape to locate animals. Really amazing! He'll be happy to explain it to you when we meet up with him. I think it's a Muggle technique he learned from his aunt's husband.

Anyway, with his expertise, we should be able to find some. And the whiskey-soaked hay! Are you sure Hagrid said that that would work? Yes, it should tempt a few, I guess. Who would ever think that Porlocks would have such dipsomaniac tendencies?

By the way, I'm embarrassed to admit that 'fåravel' doesn't mean 'goodbye', as I thought. It means 'sheep farming' or 'sheep breeding'. I should have written 'farväl' instead, which is a more old-fashioned, solemn way to say 'goodbye'. 'Hejdå' seemed too humdrum, if you know what I mean. Looking for Porlocks is exciting! We need to mark the occasion with evocative language and fanfare. I think we should burn a ginger-scented candle and drink some tea made with echinacea blossoms right before the hunt. That should ward off the wrackspurts.

Please let me know if you need to pick another date for our great Porlock hunt.

Until then,
Luna

P.S. Don't forget to bring a few bottles of whisky. See you soon?




22nd January

Luna,

Hope you are well and have recovered from our little adventure! Who would have guessed that Porlocks would be so ticklish? I've never seen any creature, magical or otherwise, so docile and playful. I wasn't sure what to expect with Porlocks as there was so little known and recorded about them. I've got so much information for the Society now, thanks to our observations. Just to clarify what we discussed, we can exchange notes, I thought.

First, we discovered that Hagrid was right about the whiskey-soaked hay. It makes me giggle that they actually hate it and came out of their hiding places just to remove it! I'll make sure to tell Hagrid the next time I see him. He's sure to be surprised.

Second, we found that Porlocks are incredibly ticklish, especially on the top of the neck and the stomach, rather than the knees like you thought. Luckily, we saw that pony's tail flicking a Porlock's neck completely by accident. It started laughing immediately, right?

And when Rolf managed to get close enough to it, he could see that tuft of curly hair right at the nape of their necks. There's no record of that anywhere. But they're really proud of it judging by the way they groomed themselves. Perhaps this can give us a way in to the Porlocks' good graces?

I liked the way Rolf was able to find them so easily by listening for the sound of their fingers scraping the bark off the Chestnut trees.

Now, that's all I remember. What about you?

Padma




26th January

Padma,

We certainly did learn plenty about Porlocks. So much that now I've got enough for a four-page spread in Rolf's magazine. He's calling it 'Faunæ'. I'll be sure to send it to you as soon as it's published. And our notes match completely!

Rolf is so pleased with how our little expedition went. He's already planning our next one.

I think your idea regarding flattery of the Porlocks' tuft is such a... transcendent one! I'm sure we can get one or two Porlocks to help out the Society. Then our search will have been sublimely successful!

I look forward to seeing you at Hermione's promotion party.

Your friend,
Luna






 * Five Words – Volume 12 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:43 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #120 stats

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:24 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Feb 6, 2010 3:12 am (#241 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Statistics for Story 120
ordered by first contribution to the story

 
User
 
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic    90
  legolas returns     34
  mona amon   25
  Puck   3
  Verity Weasley     50
  Solitaire   30
  Dryleaves   03

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 235
Total Words: 1175
Last Submission Date: #236, Feb 3, 2010 5:58 am (Verity Weasley)
Total Time to Create Story: 24 days, 22 hours, and 47 minutes






 * Five Words – Volume 12 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:45 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #120 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:25 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov Nov 24, 2010 7:10 am (#2953 of 2960) [Edited Dec 2, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #120, Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: "Posting for Porlocks"

This story was written from January 9, 2010 to February 3, 2010. Seven writers contributed to the story, which is 1,175 words long. Four of the seven writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Feb 6, 2010 3:28 am: Okay, "Posting for Porlocks", the 120th story on the 12th Volume of Five Words stories, is up! Though it stalled near the end, I think this set of 6 letters worked out quite nicely... we covered a range of subjects: the inclusion of the real-world, real-time winter snowfalls that blanketed the British Isles in January 2010, Luna's acquaintance with Rolf Scamander, the mention of Xeno's death and his fascination with the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, Luna's plans to go to Sweden to study them some more, and all the Porlocks stuff with Padma. Not a bad effort, I'd say.

(In a later post, #244) I forgot to mention in my previous post that in addition to all the other information we managed to pack into those letters, there was also an explanation of the finer points of Swedish vocabulary!

(In still another post, #249) When we wrote the letters between Lily and Petunia, it seemed to go much better. Maybe because more was known about the characters? We can try letters again, perhaps, one more time, and see how it goes then?

- Verity Weasley, Feb 6, 2010 4:34 am: As for the last story, yes it did feel a bit laboured there towards the end when we were writing it, but I don't think it shows in the finished version. It reads quite well, a succinct series of informative letters that just hint at events happening 'off-stage' as it were, and leave you wondering.

(In a later post, #245) That's right, PAH. And anyone who didn't actually participate in the writing of that story will never understand how funny that exchange was and how it came about!

- Solitaire, Feb 6, 2010 11:58 am: I thought the letter exchange turned out to be really cute, Potteraholic. It was fun to read and see how it eventually wound up. I had a more difficult time working with the letter format, for some reason. It seemed harder for me to follow the train of thought, and I had to keep gong back and reading the entire exchange each time I posted ... which is why I eventually dropped out. It was just too much with everything that has been happening around here.

- mona amon, Feb 7, 2010 11:19 am: I thought the last story turned out really well. Who'd have expected it? The fåravel/farväl mistake was a wonderful touch, though I guess it's an inside joke! Good thing Dryleaves was there to point it out. A very appropriate thing to happen when writing a Luna story.






 * Five Words – Volume 12 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:49 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #121

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:41 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Feb 24, 2010 9:08 pm (#645 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Potty Five Words: "The Wandering Wizard"


Sirius Black dropped the bone he had been gnawing and looked anxiously towards the sky. He had been completely preoccupied by his meal, as it had been his first in several days. He thought he had caught a white blur out of the corner of his eye. He was anxious to hear again from his godson and worried about his participation in the upcoming first task of the Triwizard Tournament. The article in the Daily Prophet, naming Harry as the fourth champion, was far too sentimental. It also unnerved Sirius. He couldn't believe that the Goblet had been easily fooled.

A set of approaching footsteps startled him, and he was caught off-guard. He spun around, crouched down, and growled. There, looking tired and haggard, stood Remus Lupin. He held out his hand in greeting and Sirius grasped it warmly.

"You! I wasn't sure whom to expect as I thought that I might've been spotted by a nosy villager when I went scavenging for food just now. How did you find me?"

Remus looked at Sirius's gaunt face with concern. "Dumbledore gave me an idea when I saw him last week in London. He had come over to meet the other members of the Wizengamot."

"So he's reading the signs that others are choosing to ignore and pretend aren't happening. Tell me, have you seen Harry since he found out he will be participating in the Triwizard Tournament?" Sirius croaked, his voice raspy.

"He owled Arthur, and I happened to be at the Burrow then. I tried to find out who Dumbledore thought was responsible, but if he suspects anyone, he's keeping it to himself," Remus admitted. He glanced around, towards the Forbidden Forest, and shivered. He couldn't shake the feeling that Harry was going to be facing mortal danger.

"Why couldn't Dumbledore stop Harry from participating? Surely he has figured out how to best protect him from Voldemort by now," Sirius muttered.

Remus looked at him in surprise. "Surely you know that Dumbledore's doing everything in his power. He got Mad-Eye out of retirement, didn't he?"

Sirius didn't look totally mollified when Remus mentioned Mad-Eye's name. "He's a little jumpy these days."

"And he's not the only one Dumbledore's talked to," Remus continued. "He's been in touch with most of the old gang. The upset at the Quidditch World Cup, with the Dark Mark's appearance, caused many rumors, and Dumbledore feels that extreme caution is warranted.”

Sirius grimaced. "I wish I could've been there to watch it."

"Watch it? I thought you'd have gone after the Death Eaters who tortured those poor Muggles."

"Yes, that would've served them right... a nice bite on a bigot's backside would've been just desserts." Sirius smiled, “At least I'd feel more involved."

"So where were you?"

"I was in a remote area on the coast, north of here. I'd been planning to return ever since I got an owl from Harry. I passed on what he told me to Dumbledore, but I also wanted to be close by... just in case."

"You must try to be careful as Wormtail's bound to be planning his revenge," cautioned Remus.

"Wormtail? Pooh! If that lying—"

"Hang on," Remus interrupted. "You should be lying low. Weren't you somewhere tropical? How did you get here? Anyplace warm is a long way from Harry, and I know how determined you are to be near him."

"It wasn't easy, mate." Sirius frowned as he recalled his difficult journey back. "I had to leave my comfortable tropical refuge — Brazil's such a beautiful place — in a Muggle aeroplane, since I didn't have a wand and I hadn't a passport, either."

"A passport? Is that like a Portkey?" Remus asked with a smile.

"Well I suppose, sort of. I had to persuade a young boy to let me borrow his toy car that you could operate by remote control. Without a wand, you could make it do maneuvers of every description." Seeing Remus' astonished expression made Sirius chuckle. "Those Muggles really are inventive. Arthur would've just loved it! Anyway, the device sends out signals, which I harnessed to my advantage. I managed to cause a big enough diversion to enable me to slip onto the plane completely unnoticed. Those contraptions are so useful and could be used as a prank." His eyes twinkled mischievously and a momentary grin flickered across haggard face and disappeared almost immediately.

"So how was the plane ride? I don't know how Muggles can get those metal boxes to fly. Anyway," Remus continued, "where did you go next?"

"Well first of all, I went to New York, as I got on the wrong plane. It's so confusing, Muggle travel. I thought that the Floo Network was bad enough, but traveling by aeroplane is really terrifying. I never want to repeat the experience. I remembered an old friend once told me that he'd flown across the Atlantic on a broomstick and he went straight to St. Mungo's because his injuries were so… um... delicate and tender, if you get my meaning." Sirius broke into a broad grin.

"What happened in New York?"

"I found that it was much more difficult to go anywhere. They were so strict about security. However, I somehow managed to Confund the officials and get into the plane going to London. It just took a bit of wandless magic and a good deal of luck, and I was back in good old Blighty. I was thankful to be back on home soil. My problems didn't end there, as I ran into a Muggle official who asked me for identification. I had to take advantage of a momentary distraction in the form of an exploding light bulb to slip out of sight and transform into Padfoot."

"I bet you were glad to be rid of the place," Remus remarked, "though I have a feeling you might've enjoyed outwitting all those Muggle officials."

"True, but I needed to get up north where I'd left Buckbeak before heading to Brazil. He was very glad to stop flying about, as he'd fallen ill just before I was set to leave. I had to contact Dumbledore, and let him know where I was going to leave Buckbeak. The rest did him a lot of good." Sirius waved his hand towards the clump of trees where Buckbeak was eating some small animals. "An old wizard named Worple, who sold Hagrid the Hippogriffs, took care of him, up in the remote far north. But before I left London, I went to Grimmauld Place. The last time I stepped in that awful place, I was on the run from the Ministry of Magic and trying to get to Hogwarts but Peter caught up with me."

"I know. I still can't believe that he'd kill all those Muggles," Remus agreed. "I wonder what he's up to? If Voldemort's really on his return to power."

Sirius looked thoughtful. "I don't know for sure, but I hope Dumbledore has some idea. I'll tell you this though, the Daily Prophet is reporting such drivel that you'd have thought that Rita Skeeter was downing pints of Ogden's every time she wrote with her blasted quill!"

Remus shook his head. "That woman! I can't abide her!" Behind them, Buckbeak snorted loudly, as if agreeing to every word they'd said. After all, Rita had written some terrible things about him too. "So," Remus continued, "what made you turn up at Grimmauld Place? And how's Kreacher?"

Sirius held up an elf's pillowcase. "Useless git! I asked him to find me some spare robes or an old wand, and he gives me this nasty thing instead. He always finds a way to be difficult and unhelpful. Staying there was the most unpleasant experience... almost as bad as Azkaban!"

Remus suppressed a grin and said, "At least you're not prone to howling at the moon once a month!"

Sirius chuckled, then frowned, saying, "I had a narrow escape from there."

"Why... what happened?"

"As I was leaving, I ran into a couple of Dementors! The Ministry had somehow forgotten to inform them that I wasn't supposed to be given the kiss."

"Well, actually, the only order the Ministry gave was to withdraw the Dementors from Hogwarts. Nothing more."

"Oh well, you can't have everything, I suppose," Sirius muttered. "At least I had a chance to talk to Harry properly during our brief time together before I had to go into hiding."

“What are you going to do now?" Remus asked.

"Well, I'm definitely not going back to Azkaban," Sirius retorted. "Which is why I pulled out all the stops to escape those Dementors. It wasn't easy, I can tell you, especially without a wand. There were Muggles around on the street, so I headed straight for them, walking as fast as I could. They were laughing about something, and I thought they'd be safe from the Dementors because they were happy."

"Laughter's best for Boggarts but you wouldn't feel—"

"Not now, Professor," Sirius laughed.

Remus looked a little ashamed, and smiled sheepishly. "Go on."

"The Dementors went towards one of the Muggles. I pushed open a shop door and shoved him in, as well as his friend, and quickly closed the door. Alone. Wandless. At risk of getting my soul sucked out of me right there and then, I transformed into my shaggy self. Just then, two Ministry people Apparated right next to the Dementors — a young woman, who looked vaguely familiar — and the Auror, Dawlish. They headed towards me, running, wands out. They both cast patronuses, repelling them immediately."

"Dawlish, and who else?" Remus asked curiously. "Can you describe the woman?"

Sirius frowned reminiscently. "She had pink hair," he said. "Pretty, with a heart-shaped face. Anyway, I reckoned that revealing my true form was probably not advisable, with Aurors and Muggles around. I wasn't sure if they were in the area because of me, or for some reason of their own, and I wasn't keen to find myself back in Azkaban. I'm sure I heard them mention that I'd been sighted in London. Some Death Eaters' names were also mentioned, so maybe they arranged the attack?"

Remus looked thoughtful. "I could ask Kingsley Shacklebolt. He'd know. Meanwhile, that was pulling out all the stops, was it?" Remus asked in a slightly sarcastic voice.

"Have you ever tried to escape a Dementor without a wand, Moony?”

"Point taken. It isn't something I'd like to face." Remus shuddered. "What stopped you succumbing to their power?"

"The Aurors, mate!"

"Right. So, what did they do about the Muggles?" said Remus.

"Those two blokes charged out gesticulating wildly and pointing at me, but I sloped away as nonchalantly as I could. I didn't wait around to watch the Muggles get Obliviated. I'm not sure what they would've said. After all, I saved them, didn't I?"

Remus didn't look convinced. "Muggles wouldn't know that they'd just been saved from a fate worse than death. Er... that pink-haired Auror should be known to you. She's closely related. In actual fact, she's your favorite cousin's daughter."

"That's Nymphadora?" Sirius said in surprise. "I haven't seen her—"

"Since Voldemort murdered James and Lily and tried to kill Harry." They both fell silent as they remembered their absent friends.

"So... little Dora's an Auror now? That's good! At least she turned out to have some sense!"

"She's a lovely girl," said Remus. "From what I hear, she's quite a good Auror. I guess it helps being a Metamorphmagus. So, would you like to see her again?"

Sirius nodded. "Absolutely! She saved my life and I'm really fond of anyone who does that. Could you arrange it?"

"Consider it done," Remus replied with a smile.

"It would be best if she visited here as I'm not planning to go too far astray, with so many visitors coming to watch the tournament. I just want to be near Harry, in case he needs any support or encouragement."

"What an excellent godfather you've turned out to be!" Remus said, smiling. "Lily and James made the right choice!"






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 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:43 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #121 stats

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:45 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Feb 26, 2010 12:22 am (#646 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 150px-SiriusBlack

Statistics for Story 121
ordered by first contribution to the story

 
User 
  # of Submissions  
  Verity Weasley     81
  Potteraholic     129
  legolas returns   90
  Solitaire   33
  Julia H.   12
  Dryleaves   1
  mona amon   48
  Snuffles   8

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 402
Total Words: 2010
Last Submission Date: #644, Feb 24, 2010, 9:06 pm (legolas returns)
Total Time to Create Story: 18 days, 16 hours, and 32 minutes






 * Five Words – Volume 12 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #121 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:46 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov Nov 24, 2010 7:10 am (#2954 of 2960) [Edited Dec 2, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 150px-SiriusBlack

Post-Story Comments for Story #121, Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: "The Wandering Wizard"

This story was written from February 6, 2010 to February 24, 2010. Eight writers contributed to the story, which is 2,010 words long. Five of the eight writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Feb 26, 2010 12:23 am: Story #121 is up! It was a twisty-turny tale, wasn't it? It was fun trying to come up with a scenario of how Sirius might've spent his time after flying off on Buckbeak and showing up at Hogwarts again a few months later. Though I did find it challenging, at times, trying to keep the canon straight. But most everything makes sense, sort of. What do you think?

- mona amon, Feb 26, 2010 4:46 am: The last story was good! Very entertaining. LOL @ the transatlantic broomstick flight and Kreacher giving Sirius an Elf's pillowcase when he asked for robes!

- Verity Weasley, Feb 26, 2010 4:59 am: I'm not sure that last story was one of our best, now that I read it through all together. There are some good bits of dialogue, like the part mona mentioned with the pillowcase, but some of the longer sections of dialogue seem to get lost half way through. They sound like they're going in a certain direction, and then head somewhere else entirely. For example, in the paragraph where Sirius is describing his journey back, he mentions a friend in New York, and a transatlantic broom journey. It seems as though he would have gone to find the friend to get help, or even borrow a broom, but then next thing, he's back on the Muggle aeroplane, making that whole section of dialogue fairly redundant.

Essentially, I think the problem was that we got stuck with a story that consisted of a conversation between two characters, nothing more. We needed some action, something actually happening, to drive the story. It was OK, but certainly not great.

- Potteraholic, Feb 26, 2010 5:39 am: Thanks for you feedback, Verity! I agree with the points you raised re: the story basically being a conversation, and the whole flight to New York section. I brought up the action issue here, after you had once before that, but I guess there was too much text to read in my post, LOL!

Also, the plane section was written during our posting spree. I think when posting happens at a fast pace, the potential is there for the story to get ahead of itself, so to speak, where inconsistencies/trip-ups/etc. can occur. While I was updating my compiled version and the stats when that part was being written, I remember being a bit confused about things, and even asking some questions along the way. I remember at one point, I posted a 'PLEASE STOP' post, to check the word count, but I also thought we needed to slow down a bit and think about what we'd written/were writing.

- legolas returns, Feb 26, 2010 8:03 am: I know you joked about calling it "Sirius and his immigration issues". I think we spent a little to long on that. I agree about the too much dialogue compared to action.

- Solitaire, Feb 26, 2010 10:05 am: I agree with Verity about some of the longer pieces of dialogue. There are a couple which, I think, actually start with Sirius and end with Remus ... or the other way around. Perhaps that is why they seem a little confusing.

I did note, like some others have mentioned, that some of the characters' comments seemed kind of awkward. A story that is mainly dialogue is probably harder to write in the 5-words way, because there are so many of us submitting, and we all have our own unique ways of putting words together. Having 4-5 people constructing the syntax of a single sentence of dialogue is quite a feat! Given the difficulty some of my students have in properly constructing and formatting the give-and-take of a conversation between two characters--and I see this issue in every single writing assignment I make--I think everything turned out very well ...






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:50 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #122

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 11:06 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Apr 1, 2010 12:40 am (#1047 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Potty Five Words: "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970"


"Lupin, Remus!"

The Sorting Ceremony was in full swing. Remus settled on the stool and put on the hat with a tear along its brim. With barely a moment's hesitation, the hat shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!" and immediately fell silent. Remus heaved a big sigh of relief as he joined the Gryffindor table.

Other names followed. "Pettigrew, Peter!" and then "Potter, James!"

"GRYFFINDOR!" the Sorting Hat called again and again.

Soon the ceremony ended, after "Snape, Severus!" had been Sorted into Slytherin along with Hemlock Wilkes.

James was tucking into a large pork chop. Sirius Black, sitting next to him, was also enjoying his meal. "Kreacher's food was horrible in comparison to these vittles."

"Who's Kreacher?" Remus asked, leaning across to reach for the pumpkin juice.

"He's the family House Elf. He hates me. Mum and Dad encourage his bad behavior and he's an annoying little—"

"You're here now, mate. Forget about it and enjoy the food. And," James continued, "pass the applesauce and the bowl of mashed potatoes."

The feast soon came to an end and the students were dismissed to their dormitories. Lily Evans, another Gryffindor, walked towards the Slytherin table. "Severus!" she called out.

A dark-haired Slytherin first-year immediately looked around, smiled, and said, "I'm sorry we didn't get to talk after the Sorting. It's a shame that you're not in Slytherin," Severus began. "Still, we'll have some classes together. I'm looking forward to Potions especially! Maybe we can sit together."

Lily nodded in agreement. "The hat seemed quite sure that I should be in Gryffindor. I don't mind except that I'm in the same house as those two idiots on the train. I'm planning on avoiding those two, but the other Gryffindors seem very nice."

"I wish you could see my room," Severus enthused, "but we're not allowed visitors from other houses yet." They parted at the doors, Lily heading upstairs to the Gryffindor Tower, whilst Severus descended to the floor below.

The maze of changing staircases prompted Lily to run to catch up with the rest of the Gryffindors. "The password's 'belladonna'", said the Head Girl called Joanne Rowling. "Don't forget it, or you'll be sleeping out here with Peeves and Mrs. Norris. If you're very unlucky Filch may give you a detention cleaning bedpans, without using your wands."

James chuckled. "Filch seems to hate Wizard kids, doesn't he?"

"Maybe just the obnoxious, annoying ones," responded Lily.

James nudged Sirius. "Listen to her, will you? She's probably referring to us. I don't think she likes us."

Lily walked silently through the door, without acknowledging their comment. The other two followed.

A few days later, on their way to Transfiguration, Remus and Peter sank through a trick stair. They were stuck there, side by side, until an auburn-haired Ravenclaw came along. "Oh dear! I see you've been caught. It only takes one time and you'll never be caught again." She smiled, pointed her wand, and uttered, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

Slowly, Remus began to rise. Once he was out, Peter was able to wriggle free and then they set off for Professor McGonagall's classroom, hoping they weren't that late. McGonagall was stern but understanding. Still, Remus and Peter didn't ever want to be late again. Not after they saw what happened when James and Sirius accidentally turned their match into feathers. They were late, too, that day and didn't bother to ask about the instructions they'd need to transfigure the match properly.

"Counterclockwise," McGonagall had instructed clearly, "with a little flick of the wrist, otherwise you'll end up with something quite unexpected."

The boys truly enjoyed Transfiguration lessons with McGonagall. Potions, however, was a different story. Professor Slughorn was jolly enough, but neither Remus nor the other Gryffindor boys, except Sirius, seemed to interest him. Lily, however, had quickly become his favorite, along with Severus. They both joined the Potions Master for visits to the lake, where an interesting patch of leaping toadstools could be found.

"Now class," McGonagall continued briskly. "For homework, you will need to practice turning your matches into needles. I expect everyone to be able to do it perfectly before the next class."

"That soon, Professor?" asked Peter tremulously. He'd had no success with his match, as it had remained stubbornly, and most decidedly, a match.

However, instead of practicing their wand movements, Peter and Remus decided that they couldn't be bothered and chose to spend the weekend exploring the grounds. "Remus, after breakfast, we should go down to the Forbidden Forest," Peter suggested.

"Okay," Remus agreed, "but isn't it out of bounds?"

"What is?" James said, with the light of mischief twinkling in his eyes.

"The Forbidden Forest," Remus said, is sure to have many fascinating creatures, but we're not supposed to go there, right?"

"Well," said Sirius, joining the conversation, "that's the best reason to do it, because it's not allowed!"

"Well we could always use my cloak, I guess. It'll cover all four of us, I think. We'll be able to take it off once we get to the forest," James said, winking conspiratorially. The four of them smiled and nodded in agreement.

Very soon, the four boys left the castle and proceeded slowly down the path, under the invisibility cloak. It was a bit uncomfortable, but they were sure they hadn't been spotted.

"Let's go over there," Sirius suggested, pointing towards a tree quite far into the forest. There was an interesting path that led to it.

"We can take off the cloak now as we're out of sight," said Remus matter-of-factly.

They shrugged off the cloak and looked all around. "I'm not sure about this," Peter whispered, his eyes darting furtively to the shadows beyond the nearest trees. "I've heard there are werewolves in here," he continued, edging closer to Remus.

James laughed. "I don't think—"

A loud SNAP! in the undergrowth made them all jump at once. "What was that?" whispered a very frightened and cowering Peter.

"Wands out!" Sirius commanded, as they peered into the foliage.

"Maybe we should head back," Remus suggested, but James and Sirius seemed too intent on investigating the mysterious sound, and started walking towards it. Suddenly, a menacing growl was heard, making them both retreat, faster than you could say, "Expelliarmus!"

"Fang! Heel!" a voice boomed. "How many times have I told yeh not to go chasing them bowtruckles?" Rubeus Hagrid, Hogwarts' caretaker, emerged from the gloom and advanced towards the four Gryffindors. "What yeh doin' wanderin' around here? Back ter school! Come, Fang!" Hagrid shepherded the miscreants back to the castle, then went to reinforce the fence around the newly-planted Whomping Willow.

The friends headed for the lake and saw the giant squid basking in the shallows. Lily was tickling his tentacles and Severus was sitting nearby, watching. "Sev, come and look," she called, "he's so friendly!"

Severus inched closer and cautiously reached down. One lone finger gingerly touched the squid and quickly retracted. "There, I've touched it."

Sirius walked up to the pair and said, "What are you doing with a slimy creature like that? Don't you think you could find something better to hang out with?"

"I like the giant squid and he's really not slimy," retorted Lily.

"I wasn't referring to the squid!" Sirius quipped, winking at James.

"Who are you talking about then?" Lily demanded angrily. She suddenly realized what Sirius meant, stood up quickly and stuck her finger into Sirius' face. "You take that back! Why are you always so nasty? Come on Sev, let's go!" She hauled him to his feet and they headed toward the castle.

"Wait!" James called.

Lily turned, glaring at James as though he was a rotten flobberworm. "Well? What do you want?” she asked accusingly. "More insults?" And without waiting to hear his answer, she turned on her heel and stormed off.

Severus looked back at the taunting duo with disdain and wondered why they continued to follow him and Lily around. "Always have to pair up to pick on someone. Pathetic!" Severus proclaimed, vehemently. "Brave Gryffindors? Don't make me laugh!"

Lily, calling over her shoulder, said, "Don't worry about those arrogant toerags, Sev. They just want attention."

James sighed as he watched her retreating back. Sirius shrugged and Severus left.

"Why did you do that if you like that girl?" Remus asked.

"But I didn't say anything this time!" James protested, loudly.

"Then why didn't you stop Sirius from having a go at Severus?"

"She really didn't give me a chance, Remus."

"It's hard luck when the girl you fancy," Sirius began, "won't even give you the time of day!"

"Shut up! I don't even like her!"

"Why not?" Peter asked. "Lily is very pretty and popular. She's a nice girl and very talented from what I can see in all of our classes."

"She's a swot," Sirius muttered. "Who'd want to go out with someone like that?"

"Sirius, you know you get good marks yourself. Maybe you're a swot too," laughed James.

"Well, I'm naturally brilliant, suave, sophisticated and handsome," Sirius replied, clapping his friend's back.

"Suave? What does that mean?" Peter asked, unsure if Sirius knew what he was talking about. The four of them just laughed the whole thing off and headed back to the castle.

Lily and Severus had flopped down under the shade of a tree. The water was so calm and peaceful. Despite the taunting, Severus was enjoying the warm September day, especially with Lily sitting beside him and chatting about their latest Potions lesson. They had both found that they enjoyed the artful complexity of potion-making. Other students complained about all the chopping and measuring, but Severus was fascinated by the endless possibilities in combining different ingredients.

"Did you see what happened when I combined the dried nettles with stewed horn slugs?" asked Lily.

"Yes," Severus smiled. "That wisp of purple smoke rose and spun in circles! That was amazing!"

"And when you added the crushed snake fangs, sparks twinkled right above the cauldron's surface!" added Lily excitedly. "Reminded me of when Tuney had sparklers on her birthday cake."

"I still can't believe she had the nerve to write to the Headmaster, asking to be accepted into this school. She's not magical at all! Muggles don't belong here. She—"

"Hang on, Sev," Lily protested. "I know Tuney has been a bit rude to you when we've been together, but she's still my sister and she must feel so awful not being able to come here. So don't be mean!"

"But, Lily, I only meant that she wouldn't fit in here. She'd be an outcast," Severus explained. "She'd always say the wrong thing, and—"

"You're just being cruel, Sev! Stop! Besides, you're one to talk! You don't exactly fit in back home, do you?"

"I don't care about fitting in with Muggles. I've never felt the need to talk to them or get to know them!"

Beside herself, Lily seethed, "My whole family are Muggles, so I guess you don't want me around either! I might as well become friends with that Gryffindor gang! At least they aren't prejudiced against Muggle-borns!" With that, Lily got up, whipped around, and marched off towards the castle.

Severus rushed after her, saying, "Lily, wait! That's not what I meant at all. You are the best sort of person I've ever met." He faltered, then said, "I'm sorry for saying... I didn't mean to..." Severus looked awkwardly down at his scuffed shoes.

Lily sighed. She stopped and turned back, saying, "Sev. Listen. Sometimes you get carried away when you talk about Muggles. Remember, I'm Muggle-born! Merlin's pants! The next thing I know, you'll be hating me, too. I couldn't be friends with someone who hated people because they're Muggles—"

“I don't," Severus interrupted. "Really."

Lily's stare penetrated his own, as if she were trying to read his thoughts. "Sev, let's forget it, okay? Why don't we go to the library and research rare potion ingredients? Maybe Professor Slughorn will be there, too."

Severus nodded, and they walked off together.

This story was revised later, in this Volume, and can be found here.




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Last edited by Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 4:57 pm; edited 3 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #122 stats

Post  Potteraholic Thu Aug 11, 2011 11:13 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Apr 1, 2010 12:40 am (#1048 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Statistics for Story 122
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic   145
  mona amon  41
  Verity Weasley     79
  legolas returns     60
  Solitaire  44
  freshwater     2
  Phoenixfeather     29

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 400
Total Words: 2000
Last Submission Date: #1046, Mar 31, 2010, 2:43 am (Solitaire)
Total Time to Create Story: 1 month, 5 days, 22 hours, 9 minutes






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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #122 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:46 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:10 am (#2955 of 2960) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #122, Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970"

This story was written from February 26, 2010 to March 31, 2010. Seven writers contributed to the story, which is 2,000 words long. Five of the seven writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Apr 2, 2010 2:36 am: I think we did a great job of including bits of Potterverse into the story in a very natural, informative, and entertaining way. I think we stuck to character pretty well throughout the writing of this story, writing some humorous dialogue, but we sometimes forget that we were writing about the Marauders as first years, and not as the young wizards we saw in Snape's Worst Memory. There were 6 principal characters: the 4 Marauders, Lily, and Snape. Lily and Snape's sections were the strongest, in my opinion. I suppose it's because it's easier to write dialogue between two people, as opposed to four. In the Young Marauders' section, with 4 people interacting and speaking, we needed to work harder to give ALL 4 of them something to say and/or do, esp. Peter. But I think we managed well enough in their sections.

- Verity Weasley, Apr 2, 2010 7:57 am: As for the last story, yes, it certainly did take a long time to write. I think it got better in the second half, from when the Marauders went out to the forest. The first half seemed a little disjointed, jumping around a bit without really including enough description or commentary to link the early parts together. I think that can happen when the writing of the story is moving slowly because otherwise it would feel like we are spending a week on describing a particular setting or exchange. I liked the interaction between the Marauders and Lily and Sev, but I agree with PAH that the characterisation probably more closely resembles the later Marauders. The pace seemed to pick up at the end, and that was great.

- legolas returns, Apr 3, 2010 9:03 am: I agree the beginning of the last story jumps through a number of different things but I guess that’s what needs to happen to get to the good stuff. Not much happens in PS until a good way through. We just took a shortcut.

Someone mentioned that Peter didn't say much but I got the impression from all of the memories that he was a "hanger-on" rather than someone who contributed to the group. In some of the memories didn't he just begin to look interested when Snape was hung upside-down? McGonagall mentions him also in POA and doesn't really say much to his credit.

I guess the stuff about fancying Lily is stretching it a little. I don't really know much about 11 year-olds but I guess they wouldn't be that in touch with feelings and such. I could imagine that Sirius might have repeated what he heard someone older than him say about himself but without totally understanding.

I like how Lupin was challenging people for being mean to others. Way to go! It didn't stop them then and wouldn't stop them later.

- Phoenixfeather, Apr 3, 2010 1:07 pm: It did jump around, but for me one theme did emerge out of it all - how 2 very different boys found themselves attracted to Lily, and both screwed it up in their own uniquely prejudiced way - James hating Slytherin and Severus hating Muggles. The story could have been called Wait...Lily!

- legolas returns, Apr 3, 2010 1:12 pm: In the end, Phoenixfeather. there was one loser and one winner. I agree with what your say though about the prejudice.

- Phoenixfeather, Apr 3, 2010 1:23 pm: legolas, you're right about that - it is a bit ironic how that switches in years to come...

- Solitaire, Apr 5, 2010 1:42 am: Regarding the specific story, I liked it. I agree with whoever said that some of the characters' comments seemed to be more like the older characters--was that you, PAH, or perhaps Verity? I think it is natural, though, considering we don't really see much of the Marauders as young kids. Then again, the Trio, even when they are quite young, seem older than regular Muggle characters of the same age in Muggle books (or in real life "Muggledom") ... well, they do to me. Perhaps it is the serious nature of their "adventures" and the knowledge of what lies ahead for Harry that makes them seem more advanced than their real life counterparts.

About the young Marauders ... it was interesting to see the focus on Sirius rather than James, since we know that James was the Marauder who was really smitten with Lily, even as a younger kid. Peter and Lupin didn't seem to say much. I had thought, in the earliest part of the story, that things might focus on Remus--perhaps explain how the others came to know he was a Werewolf and how they, as well as Lily, initially reacted. I guess we never really know where a story will go, do we?






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:52 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 1:32 am

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Apr 21, 2010 10:27 pm (#1321 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 C04--at-flourish-and-blotts

Potty Five Words: "The Wagga Wagga Werewolf: A Fantastical Tale"


Gilderoy Lockhart looked straight at the woman from the publishing house and flashed his biggest, toothiest, glossiest smile at her.

She blushed a delicate shade of pink and said, "It's a fantastic story, Mr. Lockhart! How ever did you manage to muster the courage to overpower that terrible creature, the Wagga Wagga Werewolf?"

Gilderoy waved as if it were nothing and said, "It was really nothing. Someone had to risk their life to save everybody in the village! It was my duty."

Clio Cadmus, the publisher, looked at him, starstruck. "You're so selfless and courageous!" Then winking, she added, "I would have been absolutely terrified!"

Gilderoy basked in her approval as she continued her effusive praise. "It's all in a day's work!"

"It's going to be another bestseller," Clio raved. "Especially after the listeners hear you read an excerpt from Wandering with Werewolves on the WWN."

"Yes," Gilderoy began, "hearing my story in my own voice is bound to increase the listeners' enjoyment, not to mention, sales of the book!"

"I think your fans will be mesmerized... the tale of your derring-do is riveting," Clio gushed, batting her eyes at the dapper wizard.

A week later, Clio's assistant, Oliphant Castlerook, accompanied Gilderoy to the studio and took publicity shots prior to the broadcast. Witch Weekly also sent along a reporter to cover the event and a photographer to take pictures.

The presenter of the show, Zephyr Winstone, opened it with his signature theme song, and announced, "Welcome to 'Winstone's Wizard Interviews'! Today I am joined by Gilderoy Lockhart, the hero of those inimitable bestsellers, Gadding with Ghouls, Travels With Trolls, and Voyages With Vampires. Today, he'll be reading an extract from Wandering With Werewolves, his latest adventure. So, without further ado, I present Gilderoy Lockhart!"

"Thank you, Zephyr! It's good to be back on the show again. I feel quite at home and know my faithful fans will enjoy what they'll hear. I'm sure my fantastic and stirring—"

"Gilderoy," Zephyr whispered, pointing at his watch, hoping Gilderoy noticed.

"Let's get right to it, then, shall we?" Gilderoy opened his book and began to read.

It was a dark and threatening night in the city of Wagga Wagga, Australia. The full moon was rising up over the clouds, shedding an eerie glow over the small metropolis. The streets were empty, for fear of attack by the incredibly dangerous creature known as... the Wagga Wagga Werewolf! I happened to be in the area accepting an award and signing autographs for my fans, when a blood-curdling howl pierced the night! A shocked silence fell over the large audience, then someone screamed, "It's the Wagga Wagga Werewolf!"

Everyone began to panic. Mothers and fathers desperately clutched their children, Disapparating all around me. I immediately pulled out my wand and remained on the spot, carefully listening for a sign that could reveal where the terrifying creature was located. A piercing scream came from around the corner.


Gilderoy paused and looked at Oliphant, motioning for a glass of butterbeer. Oliphant sighed and Summoned one from the far corner of the studio, where various refreshments were laid out. Gilderoy took a large swig quickly, wiped off his foam moustache, and resumed his narrative.

I strode forward, my wand held out in front of me. I heard glass breaking outside, and I eased open the door and looked out. Signs of destruction were everywhere: the shattered, glass shop-front of a restaurant, overturned rubbish bins, and a shredded awning, hanging by a thread from its mooring.

In the shadows at the end of the high street, I caught a glimpse of its ferocious teeth, gleaming in the moonlight like pearly daggers. Without any thought for my own safety, I confronted the snarling, restless beast. It turned, fixing a bloodthirsty glare upon me, but I held my ground, and began my attack.

"Incarcerous!", I cried, my wand aimed squarely at the werewolf's shaggy chest. Thick ropes began to wrap around him, but he struggled against them. The ropes were no match for his brute strength, and he tossed them aside, handily. I could see it would take a wizard of incomparable skill to defeat such a fearsome beast.

At the other end of the street a small girl skipped from a shop entrance, blissfully oblivious to the terror lurking outside. Her mother followed, a parcel dangling from each hand. The werewolf, picking up their scent, started to bound across the street right at them. I immediately realized the danger, yelled,
"Protego!", and Apparated right in front of them, blocking the beast's attack. Momentarily startled, the werewolf roared in frustration. He began to roll his wild, bloodshot eyes and flare his large hairy nostrils. Behind me, the two Muggles stood stock still, frozen in terror.


Just then a tune started playing in the background and Zephyr interrupted the vivid retelling. "Pardon me for breaking in at this highly suspenseful moment, but it's time to let our listeners know about the exciting new breakthrough in magical mess removers!"

"But I'm about..."

"Spilt potion ingredients?" Zephyr continued, casting a silencing glare at Gilderoy. "Your best robes stained with bobotuber pus? They'll be as good as new with just a dab of Merlin's Magical Mixture! It even repairs the holes caused by Doxy infestations in your wardrobe. So don't wait! Don't delay! Get your Merlin's Magical Mixture today! And now, back to our thrilling encounter with the Wagga Wagga Werewolf!"

"Thank you, Zephyr! Merlin's Magical Mixture did wonders when my robes got muddied while battling the Bandon Banshee. There's always time for personal grooming even while facing grave danger."

Gilderoy resumed reading.

I quickly ushered them to safety, back into the shop from which they had come, before turning back to the werewolf. He then snatched my robes and pulled me towards him. I swung around, landing right in front of a hair salon. The beast roared and charged at me, sending us both sprawling into the salon. I scrambled to my feet, but the werewolf was on me, knocking me back, his fangs dripping saliva onto my face. I had dropped my wand in the crash through the window, so I was defenseless. I rolled over, reaching for a bottle of hairspray — that's something Muggles use to stiffen their hair — and I sprayed it in his eyes. Yelping and blinded, it was distracted long enough for me to find my wand lying in the shattered glass. I snatched it, but the werewolf had begun to recover. Without hesitation, I pounced, slamming him, with great force, knocking his hairy body down.

Gilderoy cleared his throat before continuing, his voice sounding more mysterious now, "Ladies and gentlemen, the situation was more fraught with danger than you can imagine. Let me assure you, if you buy Wandering with Werewolves, available at all discerning booksellers, you will learn the fate of the Wagga Wagga Werewolf! I will be autographing copies at Flourish and Blotts where you will see me, this Saturday...Oliphant, would you please announce the details to our listeners?"

Oliphant gracefully walked over to the microphone and spoke in a careful, clipped voice. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart will be at Flourish and Blotts next Saturday, 17th May, from 2:00 to 5:00."

"Don't forget to tell them that one lucky person will have a photograph taken with me, the latest winner, again, of Witch Weekly's 'Most Charming Smile' award."

"Is there anything else our listeners should know?" Oliphant asked, with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

"Yes," Zephyr began, "perhaps you'd like to say a few parting words, Gilderoy?"

"Thank you all for tuning in to hear my latest thrilling tale. You're the reason I continue putting my life in extremely dangerous situations! My goal is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of wonderful hair-care products."







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Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 1:40 am

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Apr 21, 2010 10:27 pm (#1322 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Statistics for Story 123
ordered by first contribution to the story

 
User
  # of Submissions  
  Verity Weasley     79
  Dryleaves   12
  Potteraholic     77
  legolas returns     16
  Phoenixfeather     48
  Solitaire   13
  mona amon   17

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 262
Total Words: 1310
Last Submission Date: #1314, Apr 21, 2010, 6:58 am (legolas returns)
Total Time to Create Story: 18 days, 23 hours, 1 minute






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Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 1:41 am

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:11 am (#2956 of 2960) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #123, Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: "The Wagga Wagga Werewolf: A Fantastical Tale"

This story was written from April 2, 2010 to April 21, 2010. Seven writers contributed to the story, which is 1,310 words long. Five of the seven writers posted feedback.

- Phoenixfeather, Apr 24, 2010 4:25 pm: Regarding the last story, I think it came out really well! Gilderoy was true to form, the descriptions were duly gruesome, I loved the names that were chosen for the surrounding characters. It had many little humorous spots in it too that fit in nicely. And it flowed well.

- Potteraholic, Apr 25, 2010 12:12 am: "There's always time for personal grooming even while facing grave danger." I love this line! It's just indicative of how fun this story was to write. I think we did a good job of adopting Gilderoy's voice in both his dialogue and his writing style. And I love how we tucked in bits of Potterverse here and there, or came up with Potterverse-like details, to give our story a more authentic feel. Even though this story had to be centered on Gilderoy, we found ways to include two of the background characters in such a way that highlighted Gilderoy's over-inflated sense of himself. I enjoy these lighthearted stories a lot... it's fun to get a bit silly sometimes. And, I agree with everything PF said, too.

- Verity Weasley, Apr 25, 2010 1:15 am: I agree, this was a fun story to write. Gilderoy is such a fun character and it's thanks to JKR that we had him to work with. I think we did a good job of imagining his writing style, and his personality clearly came through. I also love the little touches, like him using the hairspray against the werewolf! The supporting characters we invented also enhanced the story nicely. I think we got Clio's fawning, and Oliphant's slight impatience just right.

- Solitaire, Apr 25, 2010 8:54 pm: "The Wagga-Wagga Werewolf: A Fantastical Tale" came out great, though, even without my help. I thought Gilderoy was perfectly nailed, right down to his big, fat ego. I loved his use of Muggle hairspray to repel the Werewolf. Hehe

- mona amon, Apr 28, 2010 10:26 am: I just read the Wagga Wagga Werewolf story (at last), and I thought it was just perfect! Wish I'd posted more, to have contributed more towards the perfection, LOL. Not much of a review, but there it is!






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:53 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 1:49 am

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - May 30, 2010 10:35 pm (#1724 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Potty Five Words: "Fixing the Future"


"Voldemort's really dead," Ron mused. "It's two weeks later, and he's really dead. He's not stuck in a locket, or some stupid tiara. He's just dead."

"It's hard to believe we can now finally return to normal," Hermione agreed. "I mean, as normal as we can be without—" she paused, unsure of how to continue, looking at Ron with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Don't worry, Hermione, I know it's hard now, but they'd want us to remember what they gave their lives for," Ron said quietly. "Fred wouldn't want us to be moping around here for ages."

"You're right," agreed Harry. "The one I'm worried about is George. Losing Fred was like losing a part of himself. Will he ever be himself again?"

"I dunno. I'm going to try and spend more time with him. Maybe help him at the shop," Ron suggested.

"That's a good idea Ron," Hermione said, squeezing his hand gently.

After a moment of silence, the three friends' attention turned to other topics. "What do we do now?" Harry asked.

"We could take dueling lessons from my mum!" quipped Ron, grabbing his wand, lying next to him on the bed and casting red sparks on the bright orange bedspread.

As if on cue, Mrs. Weasley bustled in. "Kingsley's downstairs and wants a word with you three," she said, dumping a pile of laundry onto the bed. "I wonder what he wants. I told him what I think — that you three should go back to Hogwarts — and he agreed."

"Mum, I don't think I'll be going back," Ron muttered sheepishly.

"What?! Of course you're going back!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "What do you think you'll be able to do with no formal qualifications? Become Minister of Magic?!"

"I've never wanted to be Minister, Mum," Ron answered warily. "I was thinking of helping George—"

"Mrs. Weasley," interrupted Hermione, in a clear attempt to change the subject, "perhaps we should go downstairs now? Kingsley's waiting!"

Mrs. Weasley nodded reluctantly and turned to go.

"We'll explain our reasons later, Mrs. Weasley," Harry added, following her and the others down the narrow stairs and into the living room.

"Hello, everyone," Kingsley greeted them, smiling. "I wanted to talk to you three about your future."

Mrs. Weasley interjected hastily, "Oh, Kingsley! I hope you're going to tell them to complete their education! They need qualifications to get on with their careers, don't they?" She gave Kingsley a pointed look, which he managed to avoid, as he addressed Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"It's a little unusual, but it was unanimously agreed upon by every member of the Wizengamot that you three should be drafted in to help with rounding up the last few Death Eaters. We don't have a full Auror department anymore and quite frankly, we could use three young, resourceful, experienced wizards who've faced what you have in defeating Voldemort."

Mrs. Weasley looked at Kingsley in utter dismay. She looked ready to start arguing with him. She took a deep breath as she prepared for the verbal attack, but Hermione interjected.

"Mr. Shacklebolt, I'd really like to return to Hogwarts to finish my education, but not because I feel unprepared for the job. I do. It's just... I haven't taken my N.E.W.T.s... and, well, I need the extra knowledge. I'd like to finish what I started at Hogwarts. It's important to me. I want to learn everything possible before I embark on the career of my choice."

Hermione looked from Harry to Ron, both of whom were trying hard to suppress giggles and grins. She glared at them, as Mrs. Weasley nodded in agreement.

"Don't laugh," admonished Kingsley. "I'm not suggesting you abandon your studies entirely. If you do decide to become Aurors, you'll need more expertise and training, and we can provide that for you."

"What do we have to do? And how long will it take?" Harry asked, looking at Kingsley inquiringly.

"It shouldn't take that long; three to four months, given your experience in practical defensive magic. It's amazing that you managed to be so effective..." Kingsley broke off, thinking of all the experienced witches and wizards, including Aurors, who had fallen in the fight against Voldemort. "After that level of success you could learn the additional skills needed to become a full-time member of the Auror department quickly. You'd be welcome to continue with your studies, Hermione. We could use your help on special assignments. How does that sound to you, then?" he queried.

"It sounds wonderful, sir," Hermione admitted, "but I'm not sure I can just leave when I'm needed. What if I'm in the middle of exams? I can't miss them!"

"You're absolutely right. No would want to miss their exams," he said, glancing over at Harry and Ron with a wink. They both smiled and turned away quickly.

"I'd be absolutely gutted," Ron whispered to Harry. "Wouldn't you?"

Harry grinned, then straight-faced, replied, "Catch a Death Eater or miss exams? Ummm... let's see, catching one of those murderous thugs seems tame compared to getting Outstanding in all your N.E.W.T.s."

Overhearing the last comment, Hermione gave them both a withering look, then picked up the teapot and began to pour. Mrs. Weasley, realizing she'd left the fancy biscuits in the kitchen, rushed off to get them.

"Anyway, Mr. Shacklebolt," Hermione continued, "if you can work out the details with the authorities and with Professor McGonagall, I'd be happy to help. Just as soon as I get back from Australia."

Kingsley turned to pick up something from the bag he'd brought. "Australia? Let me see if travel... hang on... why Australia?" he asked Hermione in a puzzled voice.

"It's where my parents are. I thought they would be safer there, in case Death Eaters tried to find them, to get to Harry, through me. I have to go and get them as I had to put a well... get them there... quickly. I'm not that sure where they are... Sydney, perhaps? They're opera enthusiasts and love the theater."

"I see," Kingsley replied. "Let me see if there are any authorities who could help you find them."

"Thank you, Mr. Shacklebolt, but I think I'll manage well enough on my own. We'll probably travel around a bit, my parents and I. We may visit Wagga Wagga—"

Ron and Harry were choking back giggles, and Hermione gave them another withering look.

"Anyway," Ron interjected. "Hermione won't be going alone. I'll go along, to keep her company. It's about time I met her parents, after all we've been through together." He smiled at her, and she squeezed his hand.

"Ron!" Mrs. Weasley remonstrated. "You can't just run off to Australia at the drop of a wand! What about your studies? Sorry Hermione, but I don't know if Ron should go. Maybe Bill and Fleur could go with you. There are still matters that need Ron's attention here."

"What exactly do you mean? Mum?"

"We, you and your father and I, need to have a long, private talk about your future," explained Mrs. Weasley, casting a sidelong glance at both Hermione and Kingsley, which prompted them to remain silent.

"Mum, I think it's my decision where I go. And why do we have to have a private talk? Anything you've got to say, can be said in front of Hermione and Harry."

"All right, if that's what you want," Mrs. Weasley said, looking uncertain. "Since your father is due home anytime now, perhaps you could all come into the kitchen."

"I'll be going," Kingsley began, standing up, but Mrs. Weasley interrupted, "Kingsley, you're welcome to stay, and join us. I know I made enough shepherd's pie to last for two meals."

"Sounds lovely, Molly, but I really must be getting back as I have a lot of work to do. Let me know what you decide."

After Kingsley left, Mrs. Weasley turned to Ron and Hermione and said, "It's been a difficult year, but now we have a chance to rebuild our lives. Of course, things will never be the same without Fred... but he would have wanted us to carry on and be happy. You've all been through so much this past year. I think you've had to grow up so much more quickly than you needed to, at your age."

"I'm home!" Mr. Weasley called from the front room.

"Arthur, we're in the living room," Mrs. Weasley replied.

"Hello everyone," Mr. Weasley greeted them as he entered, "I see you've just had some visitors," he said, spotting the good china.

"Yes, Kingsley stopped by," Mrs. Weasley explained. "He talked to these three about joining the Auror department and not returning to Hogwarts to finish their education and sit their exams!"

"Did he now?" Mr. Weasley mused.

"That's not the reaction I was hoping for," fumed Mrs. Weasley. "Don't—"

"Mum, that's not what Kingsley said," Ron protested, "and anyway I really do want to help Hermione find her parents in Australia. I'm sure we'll be gone for only a few days, really. Hermione has to be back for school."

"Hermione," suggested Mrs. Weasley hopefully, "maybe you can talk some sense into him."

"I think," Harry began, "Ron should decide for himself what he wants to do. As you've said, we've had to take responsibility for things people our age don't normally face, and we've, by and large, made good choices."

He held Mrs. Weasley's gaze for a few seconds, then turned to Mr. Weasley, who appeared to be pondering something.

"I think Harry's got a good point! We can't dictate our children's futures, dear," said Mr. Weasley. "After all, they are of age now and I think they've shown a great deal of maturity, this year, especially. Kingsley told me that he planned to ask them if they'd like to join the Ministry in the Auror Department. With Death Eaters still at large both here and abroad, we could use all the help we can get. But Hermione's got to find her parents."

"That's right, Dad, and the sooner, the better. If there are other jobs the Ministry needs doing, they'll just have to wait."

In the end, Hermione decided that Ron was needed at home with his family for the time being, and went to Australia with Luna instead. Meanwhile, Ron decided to start his Auror training with Harry, after George made it clear that he'd be closing he shop for a short time. He wanted to help round up the remaining Death Eaters, especially the one who killed Fred. He wanted to make sure his brother's killer would not walk free. It was a slow process, but Harry and Ron proved to be quite skillful Aurors, catching a particularly elusive Death Eater named Rabastan Lestrange.

Hermione and her parents returned from Australia a few weeks later. They had fully restored memories and great tans. Although they still didn't quite understand why Hermione had acted as she had, they were happy to be back home, and their patients were glad to see them, too.

Boarding the Hogwarts Express once more, Hermione and Ginny looked back at their families, not totally sure that they'd be able to get used to going to Hogwarts without Ron and Harry. It would be good, however, to see Hagrid and the other teachers, as well as the castle itself, which had recently been restored. The old building and the grounds looked as good as they did when Hermione first saw them, all those years ago, as an eager, yet naïve, first year.

"It looks beautiful," Hermione said softly as the train rounded the bend.

"It does," Ginny agreed. "It'll be good to have simple things to worry about instead of the constant fear we lived with before."

"Exactly," Hermione said. "Nothing to worry about now."

"N.E.W.T.s? Maybe we could just worry about getting good marks instead of worrying about getting killed."

"Or worse, expelled," Hermione chuckled, remembering her first thrilling adventure with her best friends, Harry and Ron.

This story was revised later, in this Volume, and can be found here.




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Last edited by Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 4:58 pm; edited 2 times in total

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Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:19 am

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - May 30, 2010 10:40 pm (#1725 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Statistics for Story 124
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User
  # of Submissions  
  Phoenixfeather     54
  Potteraholic     122
  Verity Weasley     101
  mona amon   37
  Solitaire   36
  legolas returns     49

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 399
Total Words: 2000
Last Submission Date: #1723, May 29, 2010, 3:18 pm (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 1 month, 4 days, 22 hours, 53 minutes






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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #124 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:21 am

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:11 am (#2957 of 2960) [Edited Dec 3, 2010 1 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #124, Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: "Fixing the Future"

This story was written from April 24, 2010 to May 29, 2010. Six writers contributed to the story, which is 2,000 words long. Four of the six writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, May 30, 2010 11:16 pm: Some words about 'Fixing the Future" (a nod to 'Unfogging the Future')... I s'pose mine isn't really an objective opinion, as I contributed quite a few posts in the writing of this story, but I think it turned out quite well. It flows together pretty smoothly, there don't seem to be any inconsistencies (though I still wonder what Kingsley was reaching for in his briefcase), and the characterizations seem accurate.

- Verity Weasley, May 31, 2010 4:59 am: Yes, the last story turned out OK but I think it was a very difficult one to write. I think it is just extremely hard for us to imagine what life was like those first few weeks after Voldemort's defeat, there would have been so many emotions involved. Relief that LV was finally gone for good and people didn't have to live in fear, exhilaration and satisfaction at having triumphed, but tempered with grief, disbelief and anger at the deaths that occurred. Then there's the uncertainty of what happens next, which our story tended to focus on. But I think trying to convey all of those emotions is a very difficult job - obviously too difficult even for JKR since she decided to skip ahead 19 years! Having said all that, I think we did OK, and we mostly got the characterisation right, but I thought some of the dialogue seemed a bit choppy. I would have liked more narrative to separate some of the speech a bit, to tease out some of the gestures and feelings a bit more. Some of it seemed a bit rushed, like when Mrs Weasley fumes 'that's not the reaction I expected,' when poor Mr Weasley had only said 'did he now?' A minor criticism though. On the whole, I thought it turned out pretty well for such a tough subject.

- Solitaire, May 31, 2010 4:43 pm: I thought the story came out pretty well, although I agree with Verity about it seeming a bit rushed. I think that's the nature of the beast, though, with the short length. I, too, would have liked to see more narrative and description of characters' gestures, facial expressions, etc. I thought some of the funniest moments were where Ron and Harry were stifling giggles at things Hermione said, because that reminded me of "old times." BTW, I think it would be fun to do a story on how Harry and Ron bring in Rabastan Lestrange.

- mona amon, Jun 3, 2010 3:20 am: Just finished reading the last story. Wow, it was a difficult topic and we tried to squeeze in as much as we could - the relief, the deaths, the unfinished work, the attempts to pull themselves together and carry on with their lives. Perhaps the story got a bit crowded. It didn't seem as smooth as usual or something.

I loved the cross-talk about missing exams vs catching DEs and the allusion to Hermione's crush on Gilderoy Lockhart.

I felt Verity and PAH did a brilliant job wrapping up the story. That was a really good bit of writing!






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:55 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:26 am

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Jun 13, 2010 10:41 am (#1828 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Potty Five Words: A Revision of "Fixing the Future"


NOTE: The revisions to the story are written in blue.

"Voldemort's really dead," Ron mused. "It's two weeks later, and he's really dead. He's not stuck in a locket, or some stupid tiara. He's just dead."

"It's hard to believe we can now finally return to normal," Hermione agreed. "I mean, as normal as we can be without—" she paused, unsure of how to continue, looking at Ron with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Don't worry, Hermione, I know it's hard now, but they'd want us to remember what they gave their lives for," Ron said quietly. "Fred wouldn't want us to be moping around here for ages."

"You're right," agreed Harry. "The one I'm worried about is George. Losing Fred was like losing a part of himself. Will he ever be himself again?"

"I dunno. I'm going to try and spend more time with him. Maybe help him at the shop," Ron suggested.

"That's a good idea Ron," Hermione said, squeezing his hand gently.

After a moment of silence, the three friends' attention turned to other topics. "What do we do now?" Harry asked.

"We could take dueling lessons from my mum!" quipped Ron, grabbing his wand, lying next to him on the bed and casting red sparks on the bright orange bedspread.

As if on cue, Mrs. Weasley bustled in. "Kingsley's downstairs and wants a word with you three," she said, dumping a pile of laundry onto the bed. "I wonder what he wants. I told him what I think — that you three should go back to Hogwarts — and he agreed."

"Mum, I don't think I'll be going back," Ron muttered sheepishly.

"What?! Of course you're going back!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "What do you think you'll be able to do with no formal qualifications? Become Minister of Magic?!"

"I've never wanted to be Minister, Mum," Ron answered warily. "I was thinking of helping George—"

"Mrs. Weasley," interrupted Hermione, in a clear attempt to change the subject, "perhaps we should go downstairs now? Kingsley's waiting!"

Mrs. Weasley nodded reluctantly and turned to go.

"We'll explain our reasons later, Mrs. Weasley," Harry added, following her and the others down the narrow stairs and into the living room.

They hadn't seen Kingsley for almost two weeks. The aftermath of the battle kept him busy, and they had been filled with meetings and hearings.

"Hello, everyone," Kingsley greeted them, smiling. "I wanted to talk to you three about your future."

Mrs. Weasley interjected hastily, "Oh, Kingsley! I hope you're going to tell them to complete their education! They need qualifications to get on with their careers, don't they?" She gave Kingsley a pointed look, which he managed to avoid, as he addressed Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"It's a little unusual, but it was unanimously agreed upon by every member of the Wizengamot that you three should be drafted in to help with rounding up the last few Death Eaters. We don't have a full Auror department anymore and quite frankly, we could use three young, resourceful, experienced wizards who've faced what you have in defeating Voldemort."

Mrs. Weasley looked at Kingsley in utter dismay. She looked ready to start arguing with him. She took a deep breath as she prepared for the verbal attack, but Hermione interjected.

"Mr. Shacklebolt, I'd really like to return to Hogwarts to finish my education, but not because I feel unprepared for the job. I do. It's just... I haven't taken my N.E.W.T.s... and, well, I need the extra knowledge. I'd like to finish what I started at Hogwarts. It's important to me. I want to learn everything possible before I embark on the career of my choice."

Hermione looked from Harry to Ron, both of whom were trying hard to suppress giggles and grins. She glared at them, as Mrs. Weasley nodded in agreement.

"Don't laugh," admonished Kingsley. "I'm not suggesting you abandon your studies entirely. If you do decide to become Aurors, you'll need more expertise and training, and we can provide that for you."

"What do we have to do? And how long will it take?" Harry asked, looking at Kingsley inquiringly. Harry fondly remembered his careers interview with Professor McGonagall at the end of which she told him that he'd need many years more study if he wanted to be an Auror. He wondered what Umbridge would say if she knew he would be joining the ranks of the Auror Department.

"It shouldn't take that long; three to four months, given your experience in practical defensive magic. It's amazing that you managed to be so effective..." Kingsley broke off, thinking of all the experienced witches and wizards, including Aurors, who had fallen in the fight against Voldemort. "After that level of success you could learn the additional skills needed to become a full-time member of the Auror department quickly. You'd be welcome to continue with your studies, Hermione. We could use your help on special assignments. How does that sound to you, then?" he queried.

"It sounds wonderful, sir," Hermione admitted, "but I'm not sure I can just leave when I'm needed. What if I'm in the middle of exams? I can't miss them!"

"You're absolutely right. No would want to miss their exams," he said, glancing over at Harry and Ron with a wink. They both smiled and turned away quickly.

"I'd be absolutely gutted," Ron whispered to Harry. "Wouldn't you?"

Harry grinned, then straight-faced, replied, "Catch a Death Eater or miss exams? Ummm... let's see, catching one of those murderous thugs seems tame compared to getting Outstanding in all your N.E.W.T.s."

Overhearing the last comment, Hermione gave them both a withering look, then picked up the teapot and began to pour. Mrs. Weasley, realizing she'd left the fancy biscuits in the kitchen, rushed off to get them.

"Anyway, Mr. Shacklebolt," Hermione continued, "if you can work out the details with the authorities and with Professor McGonagall, I'd be happy to help. Just as soon as I get back from Australia."

"Australia? Let me see if travel... hang on... why Australia?" he asked Hermione in a puzzled voice, turning to pick up something rolled-up from the bag he'd brought.

"It's where my parents are. I thought they would be safer there, in case Death Eaters tried to find them, to get to Harry, through me. I have to go and get them as I had to put a well... get them there... quickly. I'm not that sure where they are... Sydney, perhaps? They're opera enthusiasts and love the theater."

"I see," Kingsley replied. "Let me see if there are any authorities who could help you find them."

"Thank you, Mr. Shacklebolt, but I think I'll manage well enough on my own. We'll probably travel around a bit, my parents and I. We may visit Wagga Wagga—"

Ron and Harry were choking back giggles, and Hermione gave them another withering look.

"Anyway," Ron interjected. "Hermione won't be going alone. I'll go along, to keep her company. It's about time I met her parents, after all we've been through together." He smiled at her, and she squeezed his hand.

"Ron!" Mrs. Weasley remonstrated. "You can't just run off to Australia at the drop of a wand! What about your studies? Sorry Hermione, but I don't know if Ron should go. Maybe Bill and Fleur could go with you. There are still matters that need Ron's attention here."

"What exactly do you mean? Mum?"

"We, you and your father and I, need to have a long, private talk about your future," explained Mrs. Weasley, casting a sidelong glance at both Hermione and Kingsley, which prompted them to remain silent.

"Mum, I think it's my decision where I go. And why do we have to have a private talk? Anything you've got to say, can be said in front of Hermione and Harry."

"All right, if that's what you want," Mrs. Weasley said, looking uncertain. "Since your father is due home anytime now, perhaps you could all come into the kitchen."

"I'll be going," Kingsley began, standing up, but Mrs. Weasley interrupted, "Kingsley, you're welcome to stay, and join us. I know I made enough shepherd's pie to last for two meals."

"Sounds lovely, Molly, but I really must be getting back as I have a lot of work to do. I have to review this list of international Aurors who have been monitoring Death Eater activity in their countries." He turned to the trio, smiled, and said, "Let me know what you decide."

After Kingsley left, Mrs. Weasley turned to Ron and Hermione and said, "It's been a difficult year, but now we have a chance to rebuild our lives. Of course, things will never be the same without Fred... but he would have wanted us to carry on and be happy. You've all been through so much this past year. I think you've had to grow up so much more quickly than you needed to, at your age."

Hermione nodded in agreement, while Harry and Ron looked at each other with silent understanding. They both remembered what happened and everything they had been forced to deal with lately. It seemed like such a long time since they first shared chocolate frogs on the Hogwarts Express on that September day, long ago.

"I'm home!" Mr. Weasley called from the front room.

"Arthur, we're in the living room," Mrs. Weasley replied.

"Hello everyone," Mr. Weasley greeted them as he entered, "I see you've just had some visitors," he said, spotting the good china.

"Yes, Kingsley stopped by," Mrs. Weasley explained. "He talked to these three about joining the Auror department and not returning to Hogwarts to finish their education and sit their exams!"

"Did he now?" Mr. Weasley mused. "I thought it might be for that reason. I've heard rumors at work. Very interesting. First time for everything, aye?"

"That's not the reaction I was hoping for," fumed Mrs. Weasley. "Don't—"

"Mum, that's not what Kingsley said," Ron protested, "and anyway I really do want to help Hermione find her parents in Australia. I'm sure we'll be gone for only a few days, really. Hermione has to be back for school."

"Hermione," suggested Mrs. Weasley hopefully, "maybe you can talk some sense into him."

"I think," Harry began, "Ron should decide for himself what he wants to do. As you've said, we've had to take responsibility for things people our age don't normally face, and we've, by and large, made good choices."

He held Mrs. Weasley's gaze for a few seconds, then turned to Mr. Weasley, who appeared to be pondering something.

"I think Harry's got a good point! We can't dictate our children's futures, dear," said Mr. Weasley. "After all, they are of age now& and I think they've shown a great deal of maturity, this year, especially. Kingsley told me that he planned to ask them if they'd like to join the Ministry in the Auror Department. With Death Eaters still at large both here and abroad, we could use all the help we can get. But Hermione's got to find her parents."

"That's right, Dad, and the sooner, the better. If there are other jobs the Ministry needs doing, they'll just have to wait."

In the end, Hermione decided that Ron was needed at home with his family for the time being, and went to Australia with Luna instead. Meanwhile, Ron decided to start his Auror training with Harry, after George made it clear that he'd be closing the shop for a short time. He wanted to help round up the remaining Death Eaters, especially the one who killed Fred. He wanted to make sure his brother's killer would not walk free. It was a slow process, but Harry and Ron proved to be quite skillful Aurors, catching a particularly elusive Death Eater named Rabastan Lestrange.

Hermione and her parents returned from Australia a few weeks later. They had fully restored memories and great tans. Although they still didn't quite understand why Hermione had acted as she had, they were happy to be back home, and their patients were glad to see them, too.

Boarding the Hogwarts Express once more, Hermione and Ginny looked back at their families, not totally sure that they'd be able to get used to going to Hogwarts without Ron and Harry. It would be good, however, to see Hagrid and the other teachers, as well as the castle itself, which had recently been restored. The old building and the grounds looked as good as they did when Hermione first saw them, all those years ago, as an eager, yet naïve, first year.

"It looks beautiful," Hermione said softly as the train rounded the bend.

"It does," Ginny agreed. "It'll be good to have simple things to worry about instead of the constant fear we lived with before."

"Exactly," Hermione said. "Nothing to worry about now."

"N.E.W.T.s? Maybe we could just worry about getting good marks instead of worrying about getting killed."

"Or worse, expelled," Hermione chuckled, remembering her first thrilling adventure with her best friends, Harry and Ron.






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:36 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:28 am

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Jun 13, 2010 10:43 am (#1829 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Statistics for A Revised Version of Story 124(R)

Total Words in original version: 2000
Total Words in revised version: 2175

Based on a few post-story comments about the original version of "Fixing the Future" not containing enough narrative, and feeling a bit rushed, I posted the idea of trying to write a revision of the previous story while simultaneously writing the next one. This revision of an already finished story was a break from standard Five Words procedure, but it was worth a try.

This revision was started on June 3, 2010 at 7:13 pm, and ended on June 13, 2010 at 2:36 am. It took 35 posts and 175 words. One sentence was re-ordered, with an additional word inserted to take the place of a proper noun that was removed.






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:37 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #124(R) post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:39 am

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:12 am (#2958 of 2960) [Edited Dec 3, 2010 9 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Post-Story Comments for Story #124(R), Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: A Revision of "Fixing the Future"

The following comments are about a revision done for Five Words story #124, "Fixing the Future". This version was written from June 3, 2010 to June 13, 2010. This is the 1st Five Words story to be revised. Two writers (Potteraholic and Verity Weasley), participated in this revision, and 175 words were added to the original story's length of 2,000 words.

Potteraholic, Jun 13, 2010 10:52 am: The revised version of "Fixing the Future" is posted. Any thoughts about the new version? About the process of writing it? I rather enjoyed the process, and like the revised version, too. I hope we can take what we learned about what we thought was lacking in the previous story and apply it to the writing of this and future stories.

Verity Weasley, Jun 13, 2010 11:51 am: I think the new version of 'Fixing the Future' is much better (but then I would say that, wouldn't I?) It was certainly interesting to revise the previous story while writing the current one. I think that most of our stories don't need revision - any 'faults' are part of the Five Words charm - but I think this one really benefitted from those extra little touches.






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:56 am; edited 3 times in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #125

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:43 am

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Jul 20, 2010 3:49 pm (#2140 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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H E R M I O N E   &   L U N A
A u s t r a l i a - S u m m e r '9 8

Potty Five Words: "The Wilkinses Remembered"


"Luna! We're here... in Sydney!" Hermione exclaimed, looking around. She could see the gleaming, white shells of the Sydney Opera House, off in the distance. The nearby Jacaranda trees provided the pair with plenty of cover from any accidental onlookers.

Luna put the old boot that had served as their portkey into her backpack. She looked at Hermione expectantly. "Where do you think we should go first?"

Hermione took a map from her beaded and studied it very carefully. "The Shangri-La Hotel... that's where the Ministry said my parents were staying. It's not too far from here. I think we can get to it via a short bus ride." They searched around for the nearest bus stop, which was just outside the park's entrance. As they walked toward the road, Hermione gave a sidelong glance, appraising Luna's attire. "Luna, do you think those earrings will get caught on your collar? It's so lacy and pretty. I wouldn't want it to tear. Perhaps you should let me tuck them into my bag for safekeeping?"

"You don't think I should wear them?" Luna asked, with a smile. "Don't worry. I've put a protective charm on the collar, and an anti-snagging charm on the radishes," she said with a slight smile. "So it's all right, Hermione. Thanks, anyway."

Ten minutes later, with her radishes bobbing merrily from her ears, Luna and Hermione were in the bus, bumping along towards the hotel.

"176 Cumberland Street!" the bus driver announced. "'Round the corner, ladies. You'll be right."

The hotel, a modern high-rise building, stood proudly against the Sydney skyline. "My, this is quite a sight," Luna exclaimed, staring up at the shiny glass and steel structure. "I wonder how tall it is, and which floor we're on. I hope our room has a nice view.

The pair walked into the hotel, crossed the lobby, and went to the Reception desk. However, just then, two guests walked over, bumping into Luna.

"Mu- er...Monica!" exclaimed Hermione, looking a bit flustered, "And Wendell! So nice to meet you both."

Looking confused, Monica asked the daughter she didn't remember, "Sorry, but I don't know you, do I?" She turned to her husband and looked at him with a shrug.

Wendell, aka Mr. Granger, shrugged and held out his hand. "Pleased to meet you. What are your names and how do we know you?"

Hermione turned red and seemed to have been struck dumb.

"I'm Luna, and this is Hermione," Luna said, moving away from the reception desk. "We need to talk to you about the Wagga Wagga Werewolf."

"Luna!" Hermione hissed, as Monica and Wendell exchanged astonished glances. "Don't be silly, Luna! There's no such thing as werewolves. Ummm... the receptionist told us about the superstitions of the Australians. She'd said some fellow Brits had recently been to the place and she said their names were Monica and and Wendell Wilkins. She pointed you out to us!" Hermione finished in a rush, with Luna nodding dreamily behind her.

"Actually, we'd like to visit Wagga Wagga, " said Wendell politely. "It's home to a Clydesdale stud farm. We love horses, you know. Actually," he continued, turning to Monica, "we need two more people for our tour of the Aurora Farm, don't we, dear?"

Monica nodded slowly as she realized what Wendell was trying to do. She gave the girls a warm smile and said, "What my husband is suggesting is that you two join us. It's quite a long journey and we'd like to make an early start. Perhaps we can discuss it over a cup of tea, and you can check with your parents, if you decide to join us."

"Sounds lovely!" Hermione exclaimed, and the four of them headed towards the hotel coffee shop, the Gloucester Street Pantry.

Finding an unoccupied table in a quiet corner, overlooking Sydney Harbor, Hermione steered them towards it. When they were all seated in the comfy deep padded chairs, Wendell began to explain the particulars of the trip to the girls. However, Hermione only pretended to listen, her mind a jumble of thoughts. Should I lift the enchantment now, or try to explain first? Would that lessen the shock? What if I couldn't get them to believe me? I couldn't remove the charm from both of them at the same time. It requires immense skill. I've never done anything like that before, but...

Before Hermione could finish that particular train of doubtful thought, the waiter came by to take their order. Wendell ordered a large iced tea, while Hermione raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"You never used to drink iced tea," she said absent-mindedly, glancing at her menu. A swift kick under the table from Luna brought Hermione back to her senses. "Ummm...I mean... that is, you... I mean, us... English... we don't usually—"

"Look! A kangaroo!" Luna shouted, pointing out the window. The Wilkinses turned their heads quickly. "I mean," she corrected herself, "it was a picture of one on a moving advert. For a moment I thought it was real! Wishful thinking, I guess."

Wendell looked confusedly from one to the other.

Hermione wiggled in her seat.

"What are you two girls doing here in Sydney?" he asked, with a slight frown.

"Oh, we're here on holiday. We go back to England before school starts again in September," Luna explained.

"Where do you go to school? And where are your parents?" Monica asked, a look of concern, spreading across her tanned face.

"That's a long story actually," said Luna airily. "I think Hermione can explain exactly where they are." She beamed at her friend encouragingly.

Hermione took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "This is going to be a bit of a shock, but I have to tell you anyway. You see, both of you are suffering from amnesia. You must have noticed that there are certain blanks in your memories." She paused, looking uncertainly at each of them.

They exchanged dubious glances, then Wendell said slowly, "It's true. My wife and I have very fuzzy memories of England. Sometimes it's as if we can't remember our childhoods or our life before we... but how would you know about that?" he asked sharply. "We're complete strangers." He stood up abruptly, as if he were going to storm off, but Monica reached for his hand and said, "Please, dear. Wait. Let's hear what they have to say before we make a fuss. They seem to know something we don't."

Reluctantly, Wendell resumed his seat, still looking concerned. Luna was humming quiet, at peace with the world. Hermione looked anxious, unsure of what to say or do next.

Finally, Monica broke the silence and said awkwardly to Hermione, "Why don't you just tell us what you know, all in one fell swoop?"

Hermione took a few moments to compose herself while Monica and Wendell looked at her expectantly. "We promise to hear you out, don't we, dear?" Monica reached out and patted her hand reassuringly.

Well, I'd better start at the beginning," Hermione said resolutely. "You may not believe me, but I'm not a stranger to you. Look at this photograph, for instance." Hermione fished in her beaded bag and produced a photo of herself and her parents, taken a couple of years earlier. She handed it to them and they looked at it, in amazement.

"What? How did you do that?"

"Is that us?" Monica exclaimed. "Where was this picture taken? I don't remember anything about it."

Luna leaned in to have a look. "Oh, why is nobody moving? It must be a Muggle photo," she remarked, beaming at Monica, who was still examining the picture.

"Muggle? That sounds strangely familiar," Wendell commented. "What do you mean by it?"

Hermione gave Luna an exasperated look but she didn't seem to notice. "Ummm... a Muggle is... well, it's difficult to explain but it's actually one of the—"

"Muggles are non-magical people," Luna interjected, with a smile.

"Non-magical people? What, are there magical people then?" Wendell joked.

Hermione gave an uncomfortable laugh and tried to continue with her explanation. "Well, yes, Wendell, actually there are magical people. In fact, I'm a magical person, and so is Luna. Some magical people think they're better than others. There's been—"

"Wait, you're magical? Prove it!" Wendell demanded, looking skeptically from one witch to the other.

"Er... we're not allowed to do magic in front of Muggles," Hermione began, but Luna had already reached for her wand, muttered Wingardium Leviosa and sent her napkin floating above the table. The Wilkinses stared in utter disbelief, their mouths agape. Hermione looked around hastily, but none of the other guests seemed to have noticed the unusual sight.

Wendell reached out to catch the napkin, then searched for a thread that might have been attached to it. "There's nothing here!" he exclaimed. "How'd you do that?"

"Simple... with magic," Luna replied matter-of-factly, as if it were nothing unusual. Wendell still looked a little unsure and reexamined the napkin.

"I believe it's time you tell us exactly what this is about. What do magical people have to do with us?" Monica asked. "Just tell us plainly."

"Yes, I think it'll be better that way," Hermione agreed. "Monica, Wendell, I am your daughter!" There was a stunned silence as the sound of that last word echoed around the room.

"Our... daughter?!" Wendell shouted, "How can that be? We'd remember our daughter, surely? What kind of trick is this?"

"I know this is hard to believe. Ummm... do you have your passports with you?î

"Yes," Monica replied. "But why do you want our passports?"

"I'll show you," Hermione said.

Monica agreed, curious to see what Hermione wanted to show them. She placed the two passports on the table.

"Thanks." Hermione opened Monica's first. Her mother's face looked back at her from the passport. She knew that when her mother saw her name, Monica Wilkins, it would be for the last time and everything after that would be different and back to the way it used to be. She drew her wand out of her beaded bag, inconspicuously pointed it at the open book, and muttered Obscurus Revelio.

A stunned Monica stared at her altered passport in utter disbelief. The name now read Portia Granger. "What? How did you do that?"

"Please," whispered Hermione, "first let me do the same to the other passport. Hermione opened Wendell's passport and repeated the spell. She showed him the result. Then she took out her own passport.

"Look," she said, handing it to Wendell, who slowly opened it. "Those are your real names but my passport is unaltered. See? I really am your daughter. Last year I was in danger and had to go into hiding. I needed to protect you, so I altered your memories and influenced you to go to Australia where you'd be safe. I didn't want you tortured for information about me, and if I died..." Hermione left the sentence unfinished, looking grim.

After a brief silence, Monica responded. "You're very convincing, dear. And I believe you."

"So do I," Wendell agreed. "What happens now? Are you still in danger?"

"No, the War is over, and it's safe to return to England. I must return to school in a few weeks. Now just need to…" she hesitated, then proceeded hastily, "...lift the enchantment. Please close your eyes and relax. This will take just a few minutes."

Monica instinctively reached for Wendell's hand under the table and held it tightly, as they both closed their eyes obediently. Hermione waved her wand with a "swish and flick" and whispered, "Memoria Reverto!" The Wilkinses felt gentle tickling sensations in their temples, which spread out across their forehead and scalp.

Hermione whispered, "Mum? Dad? Say something!"

"Australia! Why Australia? Wouldn't France have done just as well?”

"Australia was as far from danger as possible... but does it really matter? I'm just glad you're back to normal. You do remember who you are don't you?" said Hermione.

"Yes, dear. I'm Portia Granger and this is my husband, Egeus. Now, suppose you tell us exactly what you've been doing, over a nice pot of tea. The Wilkinses may have drunk iced tea, but the Grangers like theirs hot!"






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Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:47 am

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Jul 20, 2010 3:59 pm (#2141 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Australian_flag
H E R M I O N E   &   L U N A
A u s t r a l i a - S u m m e r '9 8

Statistics for Story 125
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic     124
  Verity Weasley     114
  Solitaire   43
  legolas returns     53
  Julia H.   2
  mona amon   69

The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 405
Total Words: 2020
Last Submission Date: #2136, July 17, 2010, 1:25 am (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 1 month, 16 days, 2 hours, 9 minutes






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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #125 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:49 am

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 7:13 am (#2959 of 2960) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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H E R M I O N E   &   L U N A
A u s t r a l i a - S u m m e r '9 8

Post-Story Comments for Story #125, Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: "The Wilkinses Remembered"

This story was written from May 30, 2010 to July 17, 2010. Six writers contributed to the story, which is 2,020 words long. Three of the six writers posted feedback.

- Verity Weasley, Jul 20, 2010 10:01 pm: Overall, I think this story turned out really well. It was a difficult subject matter and I'm not sure if all of our ideas really came off as well as we intended. For example, in the early bit about Luna's earrings, I'm not sure if Hermione's true intentions came out without the benefit of the accompanying notes in each post. However, on the whole I think we did a good job. Luna didn't really have a lot to do, but I enjoyed her light-hearted touches of humour, when they appeared. The Wilkinses/Grangers might have been a bit quick to accept everything they were hearing, but given our word limit, that was largely unavoidable. I really like the ending.

- Solitaire, Jul 20, 2010 10:25 pm: I think the story turned out well. I also think it had a pretty good balance between narrative and dialogue.

I do think we missed a great comic opportunity, though. I can't believe we didn't think about having Mr. Wilkins make some sort of remark about Luna's radish earrings! They must have been rather ... um ... striking! LOL

At some point in time, maybe in a future story, I think it would be interesting to bring Luna into contact with some of Australia's more exotic animals. Can't you just imagine her with a Tasmanian Devil?

Edit: It's funny, Verity, that you mentioned the earrings, too. I had my page open before you posted so did not see what you had to say.

- legolas returns, Jul 21, 2010 12:29 am: I liked the story but agree that some of it was hard to write. I often wasn't sure exactly what to say.

Perhaps Hermione did a charm on the earrings that made them appear as bobbles to Muggles Wink






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:57 am; edited 1 time in total

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #122(R)

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:52 am

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 30, 2010 10:26 am (#2237 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Potty Five Words: A Revision of "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970"


NOTE: The revisions to the story are written in blue.
- Sentences that were re-ordered are written in italics.
- Wording that was changed is underlined.

"Lupin, Remus!"

The Sorting Ceremony was in full swing. Remus settled on the stool and put on the hat with a tear along its brim. With barely a moment's hesitation, the hat shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!" and immediately fell silent. Remus heaved a big sigh of relief as he joined the Gryffindor table.

Other names followed. "Pettigrew, Peter!" and then "Potter, James!"

"GRYFFINDOR!" the Sorting Hat called again and again.

Soon the ceremony ended, after "Snape, Severus!" had been Sorted into Slytherin along with Hemlock Wilkes.

"Welcome to Slytherin," said Lucius Malfoy with a superior smile, patting each first-year's shoulder. "If you have any questions, you may ask me, since I am the Prefect." His badge gleamed brightly as he spoke.

After the Headmaster's short welcome speech, platters of food appeared on all the tables and the feast began.

Back at the Gryffindor table, a ravenous
James was tucking into a large pork chop. Sirius Black, sitting next to him, was also enjoying his meal. "Kreacher's food was horrible in comparison to these vittles."

"Who's Kreacher?" Remus asked, leaning across to reach for the pumpkin juice.

"He's the family House Elf. He hates me. Mum and Dad encourage his bad behavior and he's an annoying little—"

"You're here now, mate. Forget about it and enjoy the food. And," James continued, "pass the applesauce and the bowl of mashed potatoes."

The feast soon came to an end and the students were dismissed to their dormitories. Lily Evans, another Gryffindor, walked towards the Slytherin table. "Severus!" she called out.

A dark-haired Slytherin first-year immediately looked around, smiled, and said, "I'm sorry we didn't get to talk after the Sorting. It's a shame that you're not in Slytherin," Severus began. "Still, we'll have some classes together. I'm looking forward to Potions especially! Maybe we can sit together."

Lily nodded in agreement. "The hat seemed quite sure that I should be in Gryffindor. I don't mind except that I'm in the same house as those two idiots on the train. I'm planning on avoiding those two, but the other Gryffindors seem very nice."

"I wish you could see my room," Severus enthused, "but we're not allowed visitors from other houses yet." They parted at the doors, Lily heading upstairs to the Gryffindor Tower, whilst Severus descended to the floor below.

The maze of changing staircases prompted Lily to run to catch up with the rest of the Gryffindors. "The password's 'belladonna'", said the Head Girl called Joanne Rowling. "Don't forget it, or you'll be sleeping out here with Peeves and Mrs. Norris. If you're very unlucky Filch may give you a detention cleaning bedpans, without using your wands."

James chuckled. "Filch seems to hate wizard kids, doesn't he?"

"Maybe just the obnoxious, annoying ones," responded Lily.

James nudged Sirius. "Listen to her, will you? She's probably referring to us. I don't think she likes us."

Lily walked silently through the door, without acknowledging their comment. The other two followed.

A few days later, on their way to Transfiguration, Remus and Peter sank through a trick stair. They were stuck there, side by side, until an auburn-haired Ravenclaw came along. "Oh dear! I see you've been caught. It only takes one time and you'll never be caught again." She smiled, pointed her wand, and uttered, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

Slowly, Remus began to rise. Once he was out, Peter was able to wriggle free and then they set off for Professor McGonagall's classroom, hoping they weren't that late.

McGonagall was stern but understanding. Still, Remus and Peter didn't ever want to be late again. Not after they saw what happened when James and Sirius accidentally turned their match into feathers. They were late, too, that day and didn't bother to ask about the instructions they'd need to transfigure the match properly.

"Counterclockwise," McGonagall had instructed clearly, "with a little flick of the wrist, otherwise you'll end up with something quite unexpected."

"More unexpected than feathers?" James asked impudently, holding out a bunch of fuzzy, brown ones. Next to him, Sirius let out a small bark of laughter.

The Professor's reaction was swift. "Mr. Potter! Mr. Black!" she said ominously. "Unless you want to be dismissed from my class forever, you'd better pay closer attention and keep your ears open when I speak." She was looking daggers at them, closely monitoring their reaction. They looked slightly penitent.


"Now class," McGonagall continued briskly. "For homework, you will need to practice turning your matches into needles. I expect everyone to be able to do it perfectly before the next class."

"That soon, Professor?" asked Peter tremulously. He'd had no success with his match, as it had remained stubbornly, and most decidedly, a match.


"Yes, Mr. Pettigrew," MacGonagall replied crisply. "I've given you sufficient instruction to master this skill in a week's time, so be sure to use your time wisely."

Despite the challenges and the hard, disciplined work, the boys truly enjoyed Transfiguration lessons with McGonagall.

Potions, however, was a different story. Professor Slughorn was jolly enough, but neither Remus nor the other Gryffindor boys, except Sirius, seemed to interest him. Sirius, being a member of an influential family with several famous ancestors, like Phineas Nigellus, was invited to be part of the Professor's exclusive 'Slug Club'. Slughorn had referred to Headmaster Black, the last Slytherin Headmaster of Hogwarts, in their first lesson, extolling his virtues and sense of fairness.

"Fairness?" snorted Sirius. "He knew very little about fairness. Nothing, in fact, about anything except for giving loads of assignments and detentions."

Slughorn was not too pleased.
Lily, however, had quickly become his favorite, along with Severus. [color=blue] Lily possessed an amazing knowledge of herbs and magical fungi for a Muggle-born of her age, due to extensive reading, and Severus had a natural affinity for the most imaginative ways of potion-making, surprising Slughorn with his original ideas and eagerness to experiment.

That morning, while working on a potion to cure boils, Severus had suggested that an infusion of dried bubotuber pus added before the porcupine quills could possibly reduce the size of the blisters, and Slughorn was so impressed that he asked him to accompany him when he went to collect potions ingredients. He asked Lily to join them, too. She was happy to oblige. They both joined the Potions Master and visited the lake, where an interesting patch of leaping toadstools could be found.

Later that afternoon, the first-year Gryffindor boys were relaxing in the common room, playing chess. Remus reminded them that they had homework from Professor McGonagall. "We've got to read the chapter assigned and practice turning matches into needles, remember?"

"We've got all weekend for that," Peter said. "Let's do it tomorrow."


However, instead of practicing their wand movements, Peter and Remus decided that they couldn't be bothered and chose to spend the weekend exploring the grounds. "Remus, after breakfast, we should go down to the Forbidden Forest," Peter suggested.

"Okay," Remus agreed, "but isn't it out of bounds?"

"What is?" James said, with the light of mischief twinkling in his eyes.

"The Forbidden Forest," Remus said, is sure to have many fascinating creatures, but we're not supposed to go there, right?"

"Well," said Sirius, joining the conversation, "that's the best reason to do it, because it's not allowed!"

"Well we could always use my cloak, I guess. It'll cover all four of us, I think. We'll be able to take it off once we get to the forest," James said, winking conspiratorially. The four of them smiled and nodded in agreement.

Very soon, the four boys left the castle and proceeded slowly down the path, under the invisibility cloak. It was a bit uncomfortable, but they were sure they hadn't been spotted.

"Let's go over there," Sirius suggested, pointing towards a tree quite far into the forest. There was an interesting path that led to it.

"We can take off the cloak now as we're out of sight," said Remus matter-of-factly.

They shrugged off the cloak and looked all around. "I'm not sure about this," Peter whispered, his eyes darting furtively to the shadows beyond the nearest trees. "I've heard there are werewolves in here," he continued, edging closer to Remus.

James laughed. "I don't think—"

A loud SNAP! in the undergrowth made them all jump at once. "What was that?" whispered a very frightened and cowering Peter.

"Wands out!" Sirius commanded, as they peered into the foliage.

"Maybe we should head back," Remus suggested, but James and Sirius seemed too intent on investigating the mysterious sound, and started walking towards it. Suddenly, a menacing growl was heard, making them both retreat, faster than you could say, "Expelliarmus!"

"Fang! Heel!" a voice boomed. "How many times have I told yeh not to go chasing them bowtruckles?" Rubeus Hagrid, Hogwarts' caretaker, emerged from the gloom and advanced towards the four Gryffindors. "What yeh doin' wanderin' around here? Back ter school! Come, Fang!" Hagrid shepherded the miscreants back to the castle, then went to reinforce the fence around the newly-planted Whomping Willow.

The friends headed for the lake and saw the giant squid basking in the shallows. Lily was tickling his tentacles and Severus was sitting nearby, watching. "Sev, come and look," she called, "he's so friendly!"

Severus inched closer and cautiously reached down. One lone finger gingerly touched the squid and quickly retracted. "There, I've touched it."

Sirius walked up to the pair and said, "What are you doing with a slimy creature like that? Don't you think you could find something better to hang out with?"

"I like the giant squid and he's really not slimy," retorted Lily.

"I wasn't referring to the squid!" Sirius quipped, winking at James.

"Who are you talking about then?" Lily demanded angrily. She suddenly realized what Sirius meant, stood up quickly and stuck her finger into Sirius' face. "You take that back! Why are you always so nasty? Come on Sev, let's go!" She hauled him to his feet and they headed toward the castle.

"Wait!" James called.

Lily turned, glaring at James as though he was a rotten flobberworm. "Well? What do you want?” she asked accusingly. "More insults?" And without waiting to hear his answer, she turned on her heel and stormed off.

Severus looked back at the taunting duo with disdain and wondered why they continued to follow him and Lily around. "Always have to pair up to pick on someone. Pathetic!" Severus proclaimed, vehemently. "Brave Gryffindors? Don't make me laugh!"

Lily, calling over her shoulder, said, "Don't worry about those arrogant toerags, Sev. They just want attention."

James sighed as he watched her retreating back. Sirius shrugged and Severus left.

"Why did you do that if you like that girl?" Remus asked.

"But I didn't say anything this time!" James protested, loudly.

"Then why didn't you stop Sirius from having a go at Severus?"

"She really didn't give me a chance, Remus."

"It's hard luck when the girl you fancy," Sirius began, "won't even give you the time of day!"

"Shut up! I don't even like her!"

"Why not?" Peter asked. "Lily is very pretty and popular. She's a nice girl and very talented from what I can see in all of our classes."

"She's a swot," Sirius muttered. "Who'd want to go out with someone like that?"

"Sirius, you know you get good marks yourself. Maybe you're a swot too," laughed James.

"Well, I'm naturally brilliant, suave, sophisticated and handsome," Sirius replied, clapping his friend's back.

"Suave? What does that mean?" Peter asked, unsure if Sirius knew what he was talking about. The four of them just laughed the whole thing off and headed back to the castle.

Lily and Severus had flopped down under the shade of a tree. The water was so calm and peaceful. Despite the taunting, Severus was enjoying the warm September day, especially with Lily sitting beside him and chatting about their latest Potions lesson. They had both found that they enjoyed the artful complexity of potion-making. Other students complained about all the chopping and measuring, but Severus was fascinated by the endless possibilities in combining different ingredients.

"Did you see what happened when I combined the dried nettles with stewed horn slugs?" asked Lily.

"Yes," Severus smiled. "That wisp of purple smoke rose and spun in circles! That was amazing!"

"And when you added the crushed snake fangs, sparks twinkled right above the cauldron's surface!" added Lily excitedly. "Reminded me of when Tuney had sparklers on her birthday cake."

"I still can't believe she had the nerve to write to the Headmaster, asking to be accepted into this school. She's not magical at all! Muggles don't belong here. She—"

"Hang on, Sev," Lily protested. "I know Tuney has been a bit rude to you when we've been together, but she's still my sister and she must feel so awful not being able to come here. So don't be mean!"

"But, Lily, I only meant that she wouldn't fit in here. She'd be an outcast," Severus explained. "She'd always say the wrong thing, and—"

"You're just being cruel, Sev! Stop! Besides, you're one to talk! You don't exactly fit in back home, do you?"

"I don't care about fitting in with Muggles. I've never felt the need to talk to them or get to know them!"

Beside herself, Lily seethed, "My whole family are Muggles, so I guess you don't want me around either! I might as well become friends with that Gryffindor gang! At least they aren't prejudiced against Muggle-borns!" With that, Lily got up, whipped around, and marched off towards the castle.

Severus rushed after her, saying, "Lily, wait! That's not what I meant at all. You are the best sort of person I've ever met." He faltered, then said, "I'm sorry for saying... I didn't mean to..." Severus looked awkwardly down at his scuffed shoes.

Lily sighed. She stopped and turned back, saying, "Sev. Listen. Sometimes you get carried away when you talk about Muggles. Remember, I'm Muggle-born! Merlin's pants! The next thing I know, you'll be hating me, too. I couldn't be friends with someone who hated people because they're Muggles—"

“I don't," Severus interrupted. "Really."

Lily's stare penetrated his own, as if she were trying to read his thoughts. "Sev, let's forget it, okay? Why don't we go to the library and research rare potion ingredients? Maybe Professor Slughorn will be there, too."

Severus nodded, and they walked off together.





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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #122(R) stats

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:53 am

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 30, 2010 10:26 am (#2238 of 2839) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 13918

Statistics for A Revised Version of Story 122(R)

Total Words in original version: 2000
Total Words in revised version: 2415

Based on a few post-story comments about the original version of "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970" having a section in the beginning to middle of the story jumping around a bit in the narrative and not having enough specific information, it was deemed a good one to revise. This revision of an already finished story is the 2nd one Five Worders have written.

This revision was started on Nov 8, 2010 at 11:07 pm, and ended on Nov 29, 2010 at 7:42 pm. It took 83 posts and 415 words. Six sentences (in 3 sections) were re-ordered, and the wording was changed in one sentence.






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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XII, Story #122(R) post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:56 am

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 30, 2010 10:27 am (#2239 of 2839) [Edited Dec 13, 2010 7 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

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Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 15 13918

Post-Story Comments for Story #122(R), Volume XII,
Potty Five Words: A Revision of "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970"

The following comments are about a revision done for Five Words story #122,"Hogwarts, Year One, 1970". This revision was written from November 8, 2010 to November 29, 2010. This is the 2nd Five Words story to be revised. Four writers (Potteraholic, Julia H, mona amon, and Verity Weasley), participated in this revision, and 415 words were added to the original story's length of 2,000 words. Three of the four writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Nov 30, 2010 11:26 am: Our 2nd revision story is done! This one was a bit trickier to revise than the first one, and took more than double the posts to revise it than the other story (415 vs. 175). But I think we improved the story considerably and helped the story flow better.

The added changes didn't change the main plot at all (the tension between Lily/Severus and James/Sirius); they just helped paint a more detailed picture of scenes and conversations that were rushed and a bit mixed-up before, specifically the Transfiguration and Potions class sections.

- Verity Weasley, Nov 30, 2010 3:24 pm: About the last story, I agree that the revision really helped to flesh it out. As you said, PAH, it didn't change the main events of the story at all but it really helped the first part to be less choppy. It added a lot of detail but made the story flow a lot better.

- mona amon, Dec 3, 2010 1:29 pm: The extra bits that we added connected the jumpy bits together nicely, and the story flows much better. It has definitely benefitted from the revision!






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Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:00 am; edited 4 times in total

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