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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV)

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Empty Story #135

Post  Mona Sun May 08, 2011 10:29 pm

them for a moment. Then

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Post  Potteraholic Sun May 08, 2011 11:44 pm

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, quite unexpectedly, she said, "Mr.               

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Post  Verity Weasley Mon May 09, 2011 2:16 am

Potter, I understand you have


affraid 7 posts left

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Post  Julia H. Mon May 09, 2011 3:16 am

inherited this ancient house from

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Post  Puck Mon May 09, 2011 6:34 am

my son, Sirius. I welcome Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2741297909 5 Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2741297909
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Post  Potteraholic Mon May 09, 2011 7:41 am

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you. Bringing my Regulus back               

I'm joining in on all the Slytherin fun before it's too late! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2752390508



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Post  Puck Mon May 09, 2011 8:12 am

to me is worthy of

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Post  Potteraholic Mon May 09, 2011 8:39 am

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my gratitude. However, I must               

Spoiler:



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Post  Betelgeuse Black Mon May 09, 2011 9:52 am

ask you to respect my

Spoiler:

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Post  Verity Weasley Mon May 09, 2011 10:56 am

Slytherin heritage and decorate accordingly!"

The end?

Or do we need a little more?

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Post  Potteraholic Mon May 09, 2011 12:22 pm

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BB, good to see your post here, before this story ended! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2752390508

And Verity, that sounds like a good ending to me. I mean, I'm sure we could go on and on, with Harry's reaction to Mrs. Black's comment and hearing how the rest of the renovation went and the growing friendship between Walburga, Phineas and all the other Black portraits with the newly-married Potters. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 464751818 But those are stories for another time, methinks.

So I'm going to make an executive decision, since we are over 2,000 words, and declare this story officially
Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2741297909 F I N I S H E D! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2741297909

Well done, everyone!

I will temporarily close the thread down until the official story and stats are posted, which should be no later than Tuesday night, 5/10/11, EST. Stay tuned!


EDIT: So much for the best-laid plans and good intentions... Sorry, but I had a busy Tuesday afternoon and evening, so the story did not get posted. I'm hoping by Wednesday evening *fingers crossed*.

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Post  Potteraholic Wed May 11, 2011 7:20 pm

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Five Words: "The Picture of Walburga Black"


"Filthy Mudbloods! Stains of dishonour! Blood traitors!..."

Harry forcefully closed the curtains, but the shrieks and epithets continued to fly forth furiously, at a frenetic pace.

"We'll have to do something about her before we move in," Ginny said with grim determination. "I don't want Mrs. Black regaling us with the richness of her vocabulary every single day." She looked carefully at the curtain. "Perhaps Hermione has some ideas about how to shut this old witch up!"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, maybe the Duro charm might help. All I know is, we can't make this place our real home unless it feels as comfortable as the Burrow." He took her hand and rubbed the golden band he had put there just last month. "I love living with your family, but it'd be nice to have some space to ourselves," he smiled.

"Agreed," Ginny said, moving away from the dusty entrance hall. "So let's sort this place out as soon as possible." Ginny lowered her voice. "Let's try Duro! then. I'd be surprised if it was that easy, however. Even the Order couldn't budge the old battleaxe!"

They each drew their wands, exchanged a determined glance, and approached the portrait once more. "On three," Harry mouthed.

"One, two, three… DURO!" chorused the pair loudly. The dusty curtain fluttered slightly and then froze. Ginny and Harry looked at each other hopefully, but then their faces fell as the hideous visage screamed.

"SCUM! FILTHY BLOOD TRAITORS!" The volume of Mrs. Black's maniacal fury caused minute cracks to appear in the solidified curtains. A trickle of splitting seam soon turned into a minor avalanche.

Kreacher came running from the kitchen to investigate the noise. "Master Harry! Miss Ginny! I heard a terrible sound! Whatever is happening to my Mistress!"

The portrait continued it's deafening cacophony of bloodcurdling screams.

"FILTH! SUFFOCATING ME IN THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS! HOW DARE YOU—"

The three of them hurried to the kitchen. "What are we going to do?" Ginny queried. She plopped into the nearest chair, covering her ears

"Kreacher, do you have any extra curtains somewhere?"

"Yes, Miss Ginny. Would you like me to replace the—"

"LOATHSOME, CONTEMPTUOUS SCUM!"

"Please hurry, Kreacher," Harry urged. "She'll go hoarse, otherwise," he added, winking at Ginny. Kreacher scurried out, and soon the vitriolic shrieks were muffled.

Harry sighed. "That idea was worth a try. I hope our next plan goes better."

A few days later, the pair met Hermione at her parents' home and shared their dilemma with her. She was surprised to hear how the stony curtain crumbled to dust almost as soon as they uttered the spell.

"According to Useful Spells for Your Home and Hearth by Hestia Habitt," Hermione said, reaching for a worn, leather-bound tome on the bookshelf behind her, "... look... Chapter 35 is about permanent magical charms and how to neutralize them."

Harry was reminded of the times when they all used to research together in the library of Hogwarts, among the tall, voluminous, imposing bookcases.

"Can it be that simple?" he asked. "And if so, why didn't Sirius do something about that demented painting then?"

"I'm sure it's not simple to do. Besides, he hated even walking by that painting."

"Well there's a couple of ideas in here we can try," Hermione suggested. "I could come by tomorrow after work."

"That sounds great," Ginny said hopefully. "I couldn't live with that lunatic's rants day in, day out."

The others nodded, Hermione saying, "Poor Kreacher, though... he'll miss her, won't he?"

"He'll get some compensation, don't worry - he'll have us!" Harry grinned. It was a relief to have a plan.

The following day, they all gathered in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. Hermione pulled out her book. "I think the best approach is to try Confundus. If nothing else, it should be an interesting experiment!" She led them toward the portrait, sweeping aside the curtain with a quick movement. Mrs. Black gave a bloodcurdling scream and immediately followed it up with a torrent of her usual abuse.

"CONFUNDO!" Hermione shouted.

After a brief moment of silence Mrs. Black’s unearthly cry filled the hallway once more.

"Bloodmuds! Scilthy fum! Trood blaitors!"

Harry exchanged confused looks with Ginny as the portrait continued.

"Gurblars! Febouling the fouse of my hathers!"

"ENOUGH!" Hermione screamed, grabbing the heavy curtain and beginning to pull at it.

Suddenly a voice called out from just beyond the frame.

"What's going on in here?" Phineas Nigellus Black demanded. "Can someone enlighten me?" His distinguished face appeared behind the old witch's shoulder, cringing at the assault on his ears. "I was trying to - oh be quiet Walburga. Show some dignity." He shook his head disapprovingly.

Mrs. Black instantly quieted down at the sound of his voice.

"That's better. Now, what are you three up to?"

Harry gave Hermione a quizzical glance and she responded with a barely perceptible nod. "Headmaster," she began, "I'm sure you appreciate Harry's predicament. Living here with all manner of auditory stimulation. You would all enjoy your days here much more satisfactorily if we could find a solution to the excessive noise. Perhaps we can discuss this further, upstairs?" Hermione glanced upwards towards the room where Phineas' portrait usually hung. With a sideways look at Mrs. Black, he nodded, then returned to his own portrait.

Bounding up the stairs, the others soon joined him in the bare bedroom. Harry had rehung the portrait in this particular room, just last week. "So, any idea, Professor, how we could permanently silence the ...er ...previous owner of this house? My wife and I will be moving in soon, and we'd like a bit of peace and quiet, so your help would be greatly appreciated... sir."

Phineas surveyed the trio carefully, with a shrewd gaze. "And what will I get, if I do decide to share the solution with you?" he asked with a condescending sneer.

Ginny replied, "We'll make sure you continue to enjoy your peace and quiet. We would also try to have a new portrait hung somewhere else you might like to go besides the Headmaster's office. Perhaps the Ministry or—"

"... a bag?" Phineas interrupted. Hermione looked a bit sheepish and started to mumble an apology.

"Never mind, silly girl. I was glad to play a part in undermining the war efforts of the Dark side. If I hadn't informed Headmaster Snape of your whereabouts he wouldn't have been able to get the Sword of Gryffindor to you."

Harry nodded. "I agree. We couldn't have destroyed Voldemort's powerful weapons without the sword - or your help. I'm really grateful to you, Professor."

Phineas seemed mollified. After clearing his throat, he continued. "It might be possible to repaint a portrait if the occupant is proving problematic. However, it is quite a difficult and sensitive matter."

“Repaint?" asked Hermione, skeptically.

"Yes... Miss... Granger. That's what I've just said. Or have Walburga's shrieks forever."

Harry glanced round, wondering just how difficult this renovation would be.

"Tell us how to start... please," Ginny asked.

At that moment Kreacher entered, carrying a tray laden with glasses and a bottle of Elf-made wine. "Thanks, Kreacher," said Harry.

The elf stared at Phineas' portrait with wide eyes. "Master Harry, I thought you all might need something to calm your nerves after all the excitement downstairs." He set the tray down and shuffled back into the corner. He proceeded to start dusting the cobwebs from the windowsill.

Harry turned back to Phineas. "So, umm, what supplies would we need for painting over the walls?" Harry asked with a meaningful nod towards Kreacher.

"What do you mean, walls?" Phineas asked, confused. "I said it was possible to repaint the portrait if—"

"Mistress? Kreacher cannot let you harm her! Please..." The elf's voice wavered.

Hermione rushed forward and put her hand on Kreacher's tiny shoulder. "Don't worry," she reassured him. "There must be some way we can prevent Mrs. Black from being—"

"I've been thinking," Phineas cut in, "and there is another possibility. Perhaps it would be possible to add another person... into the portrait - someone who would be able to divert her thoughts and whose company she would enjoy."

Harry stared at him, amazed at Phineas' sudden sensitivity. "Could that really work?" he queried.

"I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't think it would work, Mr. Potter."

Phineas looked slightly affronted, so Hermione stepped in and said, "Sir, I think what Harry means is, he's surprised that the solution is so ingeniously simple."

Phineas gave a gratified nod.

"My Mistress will stay where she is, then?" asked Kreacher.

"Yes," Harry said, "but she’ll have a friend to keep her company. I wonder who... Kreacher do you know anyone that your Mistress would enjoy spending some time with?"

"Her favourite cousin was Araminta Melliflua," Kreacher suggested.

Harry searched his memory. The name sounded vaguely familiar, but he didn't immediately remember where he'd heard it before. Then it came to him. "I'm not sure that's a good idea," he said, thinking that Araminta would exacerbate the situation, given her desire to torture Muggles. "Anyone else, Kreacher? Someone... younger, perhaps?"

Kreacher's eyes suddenly lit up, a wide smile spreading across his gnarled face. "Master Regulus! Mistress would be overjoyed to be with her favorite son."

Harry nodded, remembering the stories Sirius had told him about his unhappy childhood and his pure-blood family. "Fine, then. Regulus it shall be."

Kreacher began doing a dance of joy, his thin arms outstretched, his wrinkled face beaming. They all smiled at the sight, even Phineas.

"So how do we modify the painting? It has resisted all forms of magic in the past," Harry said.

Everyone turned to look at Phineas. He savored the moment of tense attention before beginning to explain. "It's an arcane combination of art and magic. The exact process is a closely-guarded secret, but I will endeavour to explicate some of the less abstruse points to you."

Ten minutes later, their minds reeling with the complicated instructions, they set about gathering all the photos of Regulus they could find. A painter's skills would be needed, too.

"Who d'you think..." Harry began, but Ginny chimed in immediately with her suggestion. "Luna Lovegood. She's a brilliant painter!"

"Yes," Hermione agreed, "but is she back from Finland yet? I thought she left right after your wedding."

"We can wait a bit," Ginny said.

A week later, Luna arrived. "I found the perfect set of brushes in Helsinki after I got your owl. They're made from blending unicorn and sable hairs. The paint was more difficult to find, but my father managed to get some in Wimbourne when—"

"That's great," Ginny interrupted. "How soon can you start?"

"No time like the present. I've got my earmuffs so just leave it to me, and Regulus'll soon be in the picture, being warmly greeted by his mother. She'll be gobsmacked at first, of course, but it'll be for just a few seconds. Then, a happy family reunion."

A short while later, Luna had begun painting, earmuffs firmly in place: a wise precaution because Mrs. Black was already regaling them all with another round of ear-splitting insults and imprecations. Luna smiled serenely at her as she deftly manipulated her paintbrush.

"It's okay, Mrs. Black," she said soothingly, "everything will be just fine when I've finished." In Luna's skilful fingers, a remarkably vibrant and striking image of Regulus took form. Mrs. Black, in full throttle, tried to shove him out of the frame, but her efforts were thwarted by Kreacher, who was able to immobilize her with some powerful elf magic.

Hours later, Luna entered the kitchen and announced, "I'm finished. Come and see."

Together, they all raced upstairs. Kreacher was gazing at the painting, smiling at Regulus, who was deep in conversation with his mother.

Harry and the others were dumbstruck at the transformation of Mrs. Black. She was listening intently to Regulus, smiling at his every word.

Luna motioned Harry forward. "It's okay, you can come closer. She won't scream. Trust me. Listen."

They all edged a little closer.

"... and you say he just left Kreacher there? But why would the Dark Lord—"

Noticing the onlookers, Mrs. Black turned and stared grimly at them for a moment. Then, quite unexpectedly, she said, "Mr. Potter, I understand you have inherited this ancient house from my son, Sirius. I welcome you. Bringing my Regulus back to me is worthy of my gratitude. However, I must ask you to respect my Slytherin heritage and decorate accordingly!"






 * Five Words – Volume 14 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:13 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Post  Potteraholic Wed May 11, 2011 7:20 pm

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Statistics for Story 135
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User  
  # of  
  Submissions  
  Verity Weasley     121  
  Puck     90  
  Potteraholic     118  
  Betelgeuse Black     5  
  Mona     34  
  Julia H.    48  
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times.

Total Submissions: 416
Total Words: 2,080
Last Submission Date: May 9, 2011 10:56 am (EST). (Verity Weasley)
Total Time to Create Story: 16 days, 19 hours, 40 minutes






 * Five Words – Volume 14 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:17 pm; edited 6 times in total
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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XIV, Story #135 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Wed May 11, 2011 7:25 pm

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Post-Story Comments for Story #135, Volume XIV,
Potty Five Words: "The Picture of Walburga Black"

This story was written from April 22, 2011 to May 9, 2011. Six writers contributed to the story, which is 2,080 words long. Six of the six writers posted feedback. All times listed are EST.

- Potteraholic, May 11, 2011 8:02 pm: Story #135, "The Picture of Walburga Black", is up, the first that we wrote here in our new home, from start to finish. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2752390508 I absolutely love the fact that all six writers who helped create this story contributed posts in the final sentences of the story. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2222139670

Verity graciously passed on story-starting rights to me, and I, in turn, am passing them on to Puck. It's great to see you posting here in this thread again, and with such fervor. I look forward to more of the same in the following story, and wonder what the first 5 words of Story #136 will be. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 266347159

A few words about the recently finished story...

It was fun trying to imagine what Harry and Ginny would have to do to make 12 GP habitable, which could not happen without dealing with a certain Walburga Black first. I loved the words spewing forth from a Confunded Walburga! Inspired writing! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 1003735042

I wonder, tho', since Mrs. Black and Kreacher loved Regulus so, why he wouldn't have been Kreacher's immediate choice for a portrait companion, knowing his Mistress like he did? This story touched on so many things that would be interesting to develop further, like the continued renovation of 12 GP, the relationship between Mrs. Black and Regulus, and the relationship that would develop between all the portrait-Blacks, Phineas esp. and the Potters. And then there's Luna's talents as a painter. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 266347159 In hindsight, there was a lot going on in this story, but we did a pretty good job of writing a cohesive story, methinks. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2752390508

- Puck, Wed May 11, 2011 10:57 pm: I just read the last story. I thought it was fun. I just have a question about one part which reads
"Yes... Miss... Granger. That's what I've just said. Or have Walburga's shrieks forever."

Harry glanced round, wondering just how difficult this renovation would be.
It seems part of a sentence is missing. I'm surprised we overlooked that. Overall, however, I thought we did a great job. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2752390508

- Verity Weasley, May 12, 2011 2:20 am: I really enjoyed reading through our last story. I think it is one of our better recent stories, perhaps because, although there was quite a lot going on, it was a relatively simple story - dealing with Mrs Black. I thought the characterisation of all the main characters was pretty spot-on but we probably didn't really do justice to Luna because of post constraints. That's OK though, it was a fine balance and the length was good. Writing (and reading) confunded Mrs Black was fun! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 1003735042

I didn't really think there was anything wrong with that section that Puck mentioned. It sounds OK to me. The one section I thought could be improved was where we had, 'A week later, Luna arrived.' And then we launched straight into Luna dialogue. That section just felt a bit rushed when reading the story back, and I think could have benefited from some narrative or description. But that's a minor quibble. Overall, it was a great story.

- Mona, May 12, 2011 3:44 am: I enjoyed the last story. It had a very interesting plot, LOL. Quite a page turner! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 266347159

- Potteraholic, Thu May 12, 2011 6:28 am:
Puck wrote:
"Yes... Miss... Granger. That's what I've just said. Or have Walburga's shrieks forever."
It seems part of a sentence is missing. I'm surprised we overlooked that.
Nope, nothing was overlooked. At the time, the follow-up to my words surprised me, since I was expecting, "Or have Walburga's shrieks" to be followed by some snarky remark from Phineas about Hermione's hearing, but as often happens in this game, the sentence went in an entirely different direction. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 1003735042 That sentence has grown on me now. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 464751818

- Verity Weasley, Thu May 12, 2011 6:55 am: Yes PAH, I immediately thought of Dorian Gray when I read the title. So does that mean somewhere there's a sweet-natured, kindly Walburga? Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 464751818

- Potteraholic, Thu May 12, 2011 7:11 am:
Verity Weasley wrote:Yes PAH, I immediately thought of Dorian Gray when I read the title. So does that mean somewhere there's a sweet-natured, kindly Walburga? Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 464751818
Anything's possible! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2281877974

- Puck, Thu May 12, 2011 7:45 am:
I think I read that section in a different tone. I was thinking of Phineas words as a question, not a statement, as in "Have Walpurga's shriek's forever damaged your hearing? If I read it with a statement in mind, it does sound fine. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 1003735042

- Betelgeuse Black, Thu May 12, 2011 10:53 am: I liked the previous story. There are some parts that could be improved with editing (as with almost all stories) but I think it stands up well as it is. I really liked the idea of adding a friendly companion to help. Once it was suggested, I thought it made a lot of sense. It was one of those "why didn't I think of that" moments. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2398211921

- Julia H., Fri May 13, 2011 4:23 am: I think, despite some surprising sentences, Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 464751818 the last story was one of our better ones - and a lot of fun to write. The task was ideally specified by the beginning of the story: Harry and Ginny had to do something about Mrs Black and they had to succeed eventually.

We didn't find out much about the painting of magical portraits, but perhaps we'll have another chance in the future...

As for why Kreacher did not suggest Regulus at once, I guess he was thinking of Mrs Black's friends at first (the ones he had most often seen her with), and not so much of who he, personally, would like to see most. Even if Regulus was the favourite son, I think Mrs Black must have been, as a mother, rather dominant and not excessively indulgent, so I'm glad she got along so well with her "returned" son. Kreacher has also understood by now that, at the end of his life, Regulus broke with the family values finally. I definitely saw some risks for Regulus in the "shared" portrait. Perhaps these were the reasons why Kreacher did not think of him immediately as the most likely person Walburga would be happy to see. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2222139670

I really like the ending. I wonder how Harry and Ginny will "decorate accordingly" though. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 1003735042 Using lots of green? Putting up Professor Snape's portrait next to his colleague's? Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2775603007






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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Empty Story #135 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Wed May 11, 2011 8:02 pm

image c/o kreacher-.tumblr.com
Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Avatar_8e0911dbf6cc_128

Story #135, "The Picture of Walburga Black", is up, the first that we wrote here in our new home, from start to finish. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2752390508 I absolutely love the fact that all six writers who helped create this story contributed posts in the final sentences of the story. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2222139670

Verity graciously passed on story-starting rights to me, and I, in turn, am passing them on to Puck. It's great to see you posting here in this thread again, and with such fervor. I look forward to more of the same in the following story, and wonder what the first 5 words of Story #136 will be. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 266347159

A few words about the recently finished story...

It was fun trying to imagine what Harry and Ginny would have to do to make 12 GP habitable, which could not happen without dealing with a certain Walburga Black first. I loved the words spewing forth from a Confunded Walburga! Inspired writing! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 1003735042

I wonder, tho', since Mrs. Black and Kreacher loved Regulus so, why he wouldn't have been Kreacher's immediate choice for a portrait companion, knowing his Mistress like he did? This story touched on so many things that would be interesting to develop further, like the continued renovation of 12 GP, the relationship between Mrs. Black and Regulus, and the relationship that would develop between all the portrait-Blacks, Phineas esp. and the Potters. And then there's Luna's talents as a painter. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 266347159 In hindsight, there was a lot going on in this story, but we did a pretty good job of writing a cohesive story, methinks. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2752390508

In order to conserve posts, please wait for Puck to post the starting 5 words of the next story before posting your story comments. Thanks. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2752390508 Stay tuned!


Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 PAH3


Last edited by Potteraholic on Thu May 12, 2011 6:10 am; edited 2 times in total

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Empty story #136

Post  Puck Wed May 11, 2011 10:57 pm

Fred perched with the Sorting

Thanks for passing along the starting rights! It's been years since I've had the honor! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 3845856932

I thought we could go back to when Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2353527630 first start at Hogwarts. So many fun paths we could take... Owls from home, secret passageways, Filch, Percy.... Hmmm, wondering about the first bit of mischief they got into at school.

Let the fun begin!


I just read the last story. I thought it was fun. I just have a question about one part which reads
"Yes... Miss... Granger. That's what I've just said. Or have Walburga's shrieks forever."

Harry glanced round, wondering just how difficult this renovation would be.

It seems part of a sentence is missing. I'm surprised we overlooked that. Overall, however, I thought we did a great job. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2752390508
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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Empty Story #136

Post  Verity Weasley Thu May 12, 2011 2:20 am

Hat on his head, awaiting

I really enjoyed reading through our last story. I think it is one of our better recent stories, perhaps because, although there was quite a lot going on, it was a relatively simple story - dealing with Mrs Black. I thought the characterisation of all the main characters was pretty spot-on but we probably didn't really do justice to Luna because of post constraints. That's OK though, it was a fine balance and the length was good. Writing (and reading) confunded Mrs Black was fun! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 1003735042

I didn't really think there was anything wrong with that section that Puck mentioned. It sounds OK to me. The one section I thought could be improved was where we had, 'A week later, Luna arrived.' And then we launched straight into Luna dialogue. That section just felt a bit rushed when reading the story back, and I think could have benefited from some narrative or description. But that's a minor quibble. Overall, it was a great story.

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Empty Story #136

Post  Mona Thu May 12, 2011 3:44 am

its verdict impatiently. The

I enjoyed the last story. It had a very interesting plot, LOL. Quite a page turner! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 266347159


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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Empty Story #136

Post  Verity Weasley Thu May 12, 2011 4:09 am

Gryffindor table cheered loudly as

Mona, you only used four words! Make sure you use six next time. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2353527630

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Post  Potteraholic Thu May 12, 2011 6:28 am

image c/o potterpuffs
Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Potterpuffsweasleys-1

it shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!" Fred beamed

Great idea, Puck! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2353527630

Puck wrote:
"Yes... Miss... Granger. That's what I've just said. Or have Walburga's shrieks forever."
It seems part of a sentence is missing. I'm surprised we overlooked that.

Nope, nothing was overlooked. At the time, the follow-up to my words surprised me, since I was expecting, "Or have Walburga's shrieks" to be followed by some snarky remark from Phineas about Hermione's hearing, but as often happens in this game, the sentence went in an entirely different direction. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 1003735042 That sentence has grown on me now. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 464751818

EDIT: So, did anyone get the reference I was trying to make with the title? To a certain book by Oscar Wilde?


Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 PAH3

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Post  Verity Weasley Thu May 12, 2011 6:55 am

and joined his older brothers

Yes PAH, I immediately thought of Dorian Gray when I read the title. So does that mean somewhere there's a sweet-natured, kindly Walburga? Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 464751818

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Post  Potteraholic Thu May 12, 2011 7:11 am

image c/o potterpuffs
Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Potterpuffsweasleys-1

at the Gryffindor table.

George's


Were all 3 older Weasleys there? Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 1242326132 Or had Bill left by then?

Verity Weasley wrote:Yes PAH, I immediately thought of Dorian Gray when I read the title. So does that mean somewhere there's a sweet-natured, kindly Walburga? Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 464751818
Anything's possible! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 2281877974

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Post  Mona Thu May 12, 2011 7:29 am

turn was next, and they watched

Six words, to make up for the four words used here.

Nice pic, PAH! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 266347159

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 Empty story #136

Post  Puck Thu May 12, 2011 7:45 am

eagerly as Professor McGonagall placed


I think I read that section in a different tone. I was thinking of Phineas words as a question, not a statement, as in "Have Walpurga's shriek's forever damaged your hearing? If I read it with a statement in mind, it does sound fine. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XIV) - Page 22 1003735042


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Post  Mona Thu May 12, 2011 8:24 am

the Hat on his head

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