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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV)

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Story #138

Post  Potteraholic Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:59 am

image c/o harrypotter.wikia.com
Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Crookshanks4

MUCH I APPRECIATE HIM.                

Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 464751818 Puck, I used 6 on purpose, so that folks wouldn't think it was an ending but didn't make a note of it. Have 4 now. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508

Hmmm... so does Crooksy know Ron hates spiders? Or not? Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 464751818 Could this be the end?

EDIT: Okay, so I see Five Worders have posted on other threads since this post, but not here. I guess that means folks think this story is finished? I'll check back in a few more hours to see...





Okay, since no one has posted for a few hours, I'm going to declare this story officially F I N I S H E D ! The story will be up sometime over the weekend. Until then, this thread will be locked. and stats. Puck, I'm passing on story-starting honors to you, since I started this one. Happy choosing! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508




Also, there were 4 NON-POSTS on page 16, due to posting blip of some kind. Since 2 of those posts were mine, I inserted 2 sets of 5 words earlier in the story, where my posts were not directly preceding or following the new words:


Spoiler:

Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 PAH3

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XV, Story #138

Post  Potteraholic Sun Jul 17, 2011 11:47 am

image c/o harrypotter.wikia.com
Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Crookshanks4

Five Words: "The Chronicles of Crookshanks: Meeting the Beast"


DETAIL LOG
CROOKSHANKS
SUBJECT: HERMIONE GRANGER
DATE: 23 JUNE 2002

1015: HERMIONE ASKS RON TO GET HER A BOOK FROM THE KITCHEN... A COOKBOOK. RON GRUMBLES THAT HE IS BUSY BUT GETS UP ANYWAY WHEN HERMIONE GIVES HIM ONE OF HER "YOU-BETTER-DO-IT-BEFORE-I-TURN-YOU-INTO-A-RUG" LOOKS.

1020: HE RETURNED, MUNCHING ON A SCONE ABSENTMINDEDLY, BUT WITHOUT THE BOOK, WHICH CAUSED AN INTERESTING RESPONSE. FIVE CANARIES CHASED HIM BACK TO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE QUICKLY RETRIEVED THE BOOK. I FOLLOWED HIM.

1030: TRIED CATCHING A CANARY, BUT IT SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED IN A PUFF OF SMOKE. NOT FAIR. DISAPPOINTED, I FOUND RON'S SHOELACE AND CHEWED IT FOR A BIT.

1037: DISCOVERED WHY HERMIONE NEEDED THE COOKBOOK: SHE HAD HIDDEN A KEY — OLD AND RUSTY — INSIDE.

1038: RON ASKED HERMIONE WHAT SHE NEEDED IT FOR, AND SHE TOLD HIM IT WAS A SURPRISE.

1045: TIME FOR A KIP.

1122: THAT SPASTIC OWL JUST SWOOPED INTO THE KITCHEN AND CRASHED INTO THE WALL, WAKING ME UP FROM MY NAP. HERMIONE RAN OVER TO KEEP ME FROM RIPPING FEATHERS FROM THE MANGY FLYING DISHCLOTH.

1214: MY STOMACH’S GROWLING. LUNCHTIME!

1337: HERMIONE HAS TAKEN THE KEY DOWN TO THE SHED. PLENTY OF SPIDERS TO CHASE THERE. I DECIDE TO FOLLOW. SHE LIFTS A COBWEB COVERED BROOMSTICK OUT OF THE WAY AND I SEE AN OLD, RUSTY MONSTER WITH FOUR WHEELS AND ENORMOUS STARING EYES. I APPROACH WITH CAUTION, SNIFFING ITS REAR END, WHICH SUDDENLY EMITS A BURST OF FOUL SMOKE. APPARENTLY SATISFIED, HERMIONE LEFT THE SHED, LEAVING ME ALONE WITH THE HULKING BEAST.

1354: I'VE STARED INTO ITS EYES FOR SEVERAL MINUTES... NEARLY TEN. I FINALLY HAD TO BLINK. DARN THING DIDN'T EVEN TWITCH.

1359: WITH A SUDDEN INSPIRATION, I BROUGHT THE BEAST AN OFFERING: A BIG, FAT RAT, WHICH I PLACED ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF IT. STILL NO RESPONSE. APPARENTLY, THE MYSTERIOUS CREATURE WILL NOT BE PLACATED.

1401: HERMIONE'S CALLING MY NAME. PERHAPS SHE HAS A TREAT FOR ME. I RESOLVE TO RETURN LATER - AFTER ANOTHER NAP.

1512: RON'S FATHER IS HERE. I PURR CONTENTEDLY WHEN HE SCRATCHES ME BEHIND THE EARS. HERMIONE LEADS HIM TO THE GARDEN.

1515: TIME TO INVESTIGATE. THEY LIFT THE BEAST'S WING AND IT STARTS GROWLING, QUIETLY. SUDDENLY, IT BEGINS TO MOVE. FROM MY POSITION BENEATH THE OLD GARDEN CHAIRS, I CAN SEE IT INCHING ITS WAY FORWARD.

1517: RON'S FATHER IS POINTING HIS WAND AT THE CREATURE. I'M HOLDING MY BREATH. THE BEAST SHUDDERS AND JERKS FORWARD A FEW FEET. HERMIONE CHEERS AND ASKS RON'S FATHER IF HE BROUGHT TURTLE WAX. HE SAID A SPELL WOULD BE FASTER, AND WAVING HIS WAND ONCE AGAIN, HE MUTTERED AUTOMOTUM POLIRERUM.

1520: THE BEAST IS GLEAMING IN THE SUNSHINE. AMAZING SPELL.

1530: AFTER TINKERING INSIDE ITS HUGE, GAPING MOUTH WITH EVERY EVIDENCE OF ENJOYMENT, RON’S FATHER DECLARED THAT IT WAS IN WORKING ORDER.

1623: I WANDERED INTO THE KITCHEN JUST IN TIME TO GREET RON, WHO WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO EAT.

1630: THE FLYING PEST HAS EATEN MY DEAD DORMOUSE. I WAS SAVING IT FOR A PEACEFUL AND LIGHT SNACK TO TIDE ME OVER UNTIL DINNER.

1640: RON'S FATHER ENTERS THE KITCHEN. RON SEEMED SURPRISED TO SEE HIM. HERMIONE ENTERS, A HUGE SMILE ON HER FACE. RON QUICKLY SWALLOWS THE LAST MOUTHFUL OF CRUSTY BREAD AND CHEESE HE'D BEEN EATING THEN ASKS THEM WHY THEY WERE LOOKING SO CHEERFUL.

1644: HERMIONE LEADS RON OUT INTO THE GARDEN WITH HER KERCHIEF COVERING HIS EYES. RON TRIPS OVER THE THRESHOLD AND HERMIONE TUMBLES ALONGSIDE HIM. I CONSIDER TRIPPING HIM AGAIN, BUT DECIDE IT'S NOT WORTH THE RISK. LAST TIME I MADE RON TRIP, HERMIONE'S FAVORITE VASE WAS SMASHED TO SMITHEREENS.

1646: RON SEES THE BEAST AS HERMIONE TAKES THE KERCHIEF FROM HIS FACE. HE SEEMS CONFUSED. HE STARES AT IT WITH HIS MOUTH HANGING OPEN.

1649: RON HAS VENTURED INSIDE THE BELLY OF THE BEAST. HE CHEERS WITH GLEE AS IT STARTS TO MAKE SOFT PURRING SOUNDS. INTRIGUED, I MOVE CLOSER, BUT START BACK IN ALARM WHEN A LOUD BANG ISSUES FROM THE CREATURE'S REAR END.

1652: THE CREATURE HAS BEGUN TO MOVE SLOWLY FORWARD. IT CIRCLES THE GARDEN. RON'S FACE IS ALL SMILES. HE WAVES TO HERMIONE AND SHE GRINS AND WAVES BACK.

1700: I SPOT A GNOME AMONG THE ROSE BUSHES, AND POUNCE. I MISS THE GNOME BY MERE INCHES AS I CHASE IT FRANTICALLY AROUND THE POND. HERMIONE SCREAMS AS THE CREATURE SUDDENLY CHANGES DIRECTION TO AVOID COLLIDING WITH ME.

1701: RON STOPS AND GETS OUT QUICKLY. NOT NOTICING HIS PROXIMITY TO THE POND, RON LEANS AGAINST A TREE LIMB. IT SNAPS QUITE SUDDENLY AND POOR RON TUMBLES INTO THE WATER.

1718: EVERYONE'S BACK INSIDE THE KITCHEN HAVING A CUP OF TEA. RON STILL HAS A TOWEL IN HIS HAND. HE'S BEEN GIVING ME THE EVIL EYE EVER SINCE I CAME IN WITH THE GNOME IN MY MOUTH.

1722: THE GNOME REGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS ON HERMIONE'S LILAC CUSHION AND QUICKLY SCAMPERS BACK OUTSIDE. I CONSIDER FOLLOWING HIM, BUT, AS I'M IN THE KITCHEN, I DECIDE IT'S SNACK TIME.

1725: UNBELIEVABLE! HERMIONE'S SHOOED ME OUT INTO THE GARDEN! WHY WOULD SHE DO SUCH A THING? MAYBE SHE THOUGHT I'D BEEN TO BLAME FOR RON'S FOUL MOOD? SHE HAD LAUGHED A LITTLE WHEN RON FELL INTO THE POND. HUMANS ARE SO TEMPERAMENTAL. I'LL SHOW HER!

1802: I HAVE DUG UP HER AGAPANTHUS BY THE FRONT DOOR. WILL ATTACK THE PETUNIAS NEXT.

1817: THAT RUDDY OWL NEARLY CRASHED INTO ME WHEN I JUMPED ONTO THE KITCHEN WINDOWSILL TO WATCH HERMIONE AS SHE STARTED WATERING HER FLOWERS.

1829: MY WHISKERS TREMBLE WITH ANTICIPATION. HOWEVER, THE LETTER IN PIG'S GRASP DIVERTS HER ATTENTION. SHE SCANS IT QUICKLY, THEN SMILES, SAYING THAT HARRY AND GINNY ARE COMING TO VISIT. RON STARTS PLANNING THE FOOD FOR DINNER. I HOPE ROAST CHICKEN IS ON THE MENU. HE ALWAYS MAKES GREAT CHOICES WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD. HE'S ALL RIGHT, REALLY. I LIKE TEASING HIM SOMETIMES, BUT HERMIONE COULD HAVE DONE WORSE.

1915: I SNAFFLE A CHICKEN LEG WHILE HERMIONE"S BUSY GREETING THE POTTERS. I CARRY IT OVER TO MY FAVORITE SPOT, THE LARGE DOUBLE BED IN THE GUEST ROOM.

1931: FINISHED! WITH ROOM FOR DESSERT!

1933: GINNY IS LAUGHING AS HERMIONE TELLS HER ABOUT THE GNOME INCIDENT. EVEN RON CRACKS A SMILE AND TOSSES ME A BIT OF PIE CRUST. HARRY MENTIONS THE BEAST AGAIN. HE WANTS TO GO SEE IT. APPARENTLY, HE'D SEEN IT YEARS EARLIER.

1940: EVERYONE IS OUTSIDE TOSSING TOAST TO THE GIANT VENOMOUS TENTACULAR IN THE CORNER OF THE GARDEN THAT HERMIONE GROWS FOR POTIONS PURPOSES.

1950: RON FINALLY SHOWS HARRY THE CREATURE. HE PATS IT FONDLY, THEN JUMPS INSIDE IT.

1951: THE MONSTER VANISHES, TAKING HARRY ALONG WITH IT!

1952: IT'S VERY PECULIAR. IT LOOKS LIKE THE TIME HARRY DISAPPEARED UNDER THAT FUNNY CLOAK OF HIS. I CAN STILL HEAR THE GREAT SHINY THING GROWLING UNDERNEATH. HERMIONE AND GINNY ARE STANDING NEXT TO RON. NOBODY SEEMS SURPRISED BY THE CREATURE'S ODD BEHAVIOUR BUT IT SEEMS FISHY TO ME.

1954: IT'S BACK! HARRY CLIMBS OUT LOOKING UNHARMED.

1957: GINNY SUGGESTS VISITING NEVILLE AND SHOWING HIM THE BEAST. WHY HE'D BE INTERESTED, I CAN'T UNDERSTAND.

2001: THE BEAST FLIES? NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OF THAT, ESPECIALLY IF IT FLIES LIKE THAT DARN OWL.

2012: HARRY AND GINNY HAVE LEFT. I'M CURLED UP ON HERMIONE'S LAP, PURRING LOUDLY BECAUSE SHE'S STROKING ME. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE DUG UP HER AGAPANTHUSES AFTER ALL. I LOVE HER.

2102: AWAKENED AS HERMIONE STOOD.

2106: AHHH... RON'S COMFY ORANGE CHUDLEY CANNONS QUILT. PERHAPS I SHOULD BE NICER TO RON FROM NOW ON. A NICE SPIDER WILL SHOW HIM JUST HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE HIM.






 * Five Words – Volume 15 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 9:32 pm; edited 3 times in total

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XV, Story #138 stats

Post  Potteraholic Sun Jul 17, 2011 11:53 am

image c/o harrypotter.wikia.com
Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Crookshanks4

Statistics for Story 138
ordered by first contribution to the story

  User  
  # of  
  Submissions  
  Potteraholic     73  
  Julia H.     32  
  Puck     65  
  Betelgeuse Black     4  
  Verity Weasley     53  
  Mona     21  
  freshwater     4  
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times.

Total Submissions: 252
Total Words: 1,260
Last Submission Date: Jul 12, 2011 10:59 am (EST). (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 19 days, 3 hours, 50 minutes.






 * Five Words – Volume 15 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Tue Aug 16, 2011 9:34 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume XV, Story #138 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sun Jul 17, 2011 11:54 am

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Crookshanks4

Post-Story Comments for Story #138, Volume XV,
Potty Five Words: "The Chronicles of Crookshanks: Meeting the Beast"

This story was written from Jun 23, 2011 to Jul 12, 2011. Seven writers contributed to the story, which is 1,260 words long. Six of the seven writers posted feedback. All times listed are EST.

- Potteraholic, Jul 17, 2011 12:07 pm: Story #138. 'The Chronicles of Crookshanks: Meeting the Beast' is up! Thanks for your patience, folks! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508

I liked this story, even when Crooksy is a bit of a grump to poor Pig and Ron. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2222139670 Maybe he'll lighten up as the years go by and if we happen to write another 'Chronicle of Crookshanks' in the future, we'll find that he's a tad bit nicer to those two. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 464751818

There were a couple of places where the story could've strayed a bit, but we managed to get it back on track. YAY, us! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1003735042

Looking forward to finding out what others thought of the story...

Okay, Puck, dunno if you saw my earlier message here, but I'm passing on story-starting honors to you. Looking forward to Story #139's first five words! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508

- Puck, Jul 17, 2011 2:33 pm: I really liked this story. I think the whole time stamps thing kept us on track, as did seeing through the eyes of a single character. It seemed authentic when it did stray a bit, as it seemed very cat-like to be thinking about naps, spiders, annoying birds, etc.... Plus, it was fun to write.

Thanks to PAH for passing me the baton! Yes, I had checked to see it was still locked, but just saw your message on the chat thread, and checked again.

- Verity Weasley, Jul 17, 2011 3:14 pm: I think the last story turned out well too. It seemed a lot longer when I read it back than when we were writing it. I think we managed to capture Crookshanks' personality well, and although things got a little confusing with the gnome and the beast/creature, we managed to keep it on track. Altogether, a fun, highly probable day in the life of Crookshanks. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508

- Potteraholic, Jul 17, 2011 3:16 pm:
Puck wrote:I really liked this story. I think the whole time stamps thing kept us on track, as did seeing through the eyes of a single character. It seemed authentic when it did stray a bit, as it seemed very cat-like to be thinking about naps, spiders, annoying birds, etc.... Plus, it was fun to write.
I agree, it was fun to write! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1003735042 And by straying, I didn't mean Crooksy's attention wandering thinking about food, or being annoyed at Pig. It was just one thing, really... the trio and Ginny going out in the garden to look at the car, but tossing bits of toast at something instead. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1242326132 Seemed a bit out of left field and seemed as if the 4 humans forgot what they were out there for. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 464751818

- Julia H., Jul 17, 2011 6:01 pm: I've read the blog now. Despite our hero's wandering attention, as mentioned by others, it is a coherent story, and it was fun to read, as well as to write. There is one inconsistency that I discovered - Crookshanks mentions one agapanthus first, then agapanthuses later.

I like it how Crooksy's cat personality comes across, and the ending is a real punch line! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2222139670

- Potteraholic, Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:18 pm: Crooksy might have planned on digging up the one plant, at first, and then got carried away later. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 464751818

- Mona, Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:14 am: Crookshanks' log turned out really well, and was fun to write, too. We've managed to give him a distinctive personality, and a very endearing one at that.

I wish he was my cat! I love you

I don't mind the toast chucking part - gives the story the Five-wordsy feel! Wink

- Potteraholic, Jul 18, 2011 7:29 am: Okay, please excuse me, but I need to have a bit of a [rant]. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 3276373137 It would be great, if, every once in a while, folks could acknowledge the fact that I posted the official story and stats with some words of appreciation. When I look at the comments for the other Potty Games: the trivia quiz, riddle, hangman, and 20 Questions, folks get nice comments there all the time. Granted, I am not creating the story on my own, but I am certainly compiling it, thinking of a title, formatting the text and the stats, and posting it, usually very quickly, all on my own. And sometimes, I wonder, why bother trying to get things done quickly? No one seems to say a thing about it. Yes, I realize folks are busy, but I have things to do, too. It takes more than magic to get this stuff done. [/rant]

- Mona, Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:00 am: Oh PAH, I'm so sorry! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1437562208 Embarassed

I guess it's kind of like housework - people only notice it if it isn't done. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2222139670

When you keep doing as good a job as you always do, I guess we take it for granted. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1437562208

Sorry once again, and let me say it at least now - great job!

- Betelgeuse Black, Mon Jul 18, 2011 9:25 am: PAH,

I'm sorry that you have not been congratulated and thanked for your work getting this stuff together. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1437562208 I have only recently started with running a trivia quiz and it really does take some time. I think the forum is a great place to be because of people like you who take the time to let me stop by and drop a few posts and feel like a part of something great.

Sooooo, thank you for all that you have done for us! flower rendeer farao jocolor

- Potteraholic, Jul 18, 2011 12:31 pm: Thanks, Mona and BB. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508 I read rants on the Chat thread from other Forum members that speak of the same sort of thing in their non-Forum lives, and I thought, "Well, it happens here, too, from time to time." Anyways, I'll put my own horn away now. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 464751818

- Potteraholic, Jul 19, 2011 6:08 am: As I mentioned in this post earlier, since there is no real reason for me to hurry to post a story and its stats once it's finished, from now on Five Worders, please allow for up to a week between one story's completion and the next story's start. Thanks in advance for your patience.






 * Five Words – Volume 15 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:57 am; edited 3 times in total

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Awaiting the start of... Story #139

Post  Potteraholic Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:07 pm

Story #138. 'The Chronicles of Crookshanks: Meeting the Beast' is up! Thanks for your patience, folks! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508

I liked this story, even when Crooksy is a bit of a grump to poor Pig and Ron. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2222139670 Maybe he'll lighten up as the years go by and if we happen to write another 'Chronicle of Crookshanks' in the future, we'll find that he's a tad bit nicer to those two. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 464751818

There were a couple of places where the story could've strayed a bit, but we managed to get it back on track. YAY, us! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1003735042

Looking forward to finding out what others thought of the story...

Okay, Puck, dunno if you saw my earlier message here, but I'm passing on story-starting honors to you. Looking forward to Story #139's first five words! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508




EDIT: OOP! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1437562208 Just realized I had forgotten to unlock the thread; mods can add posts to a locked thread without having to ublock it first. Sorry, Puck, if you tried to post before. Was reposting some Archived threads in the 'Magical items' folder, and it completely slipped my mind.

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty story #139

Post  Puck Sun Jul 17, 2011 2:33 pm

I really liked this story. I think the whole time stamps thing kept us on track, as did seeing through the eyes of a single character. It seemed authentic when it did stray a bit, as it seemed very cat-like to be thinking about naps, spiders, annoying birds, etc.... Plus, it was fun to write.

Thanks to PAH for passing me the baton! Yes, I had checked to see it was still locked, but just saw your message on the chat thread, and checked again.

I thought it would be fun to write something about Lily and Severus during that first year at Hogwarts. And so, let us begin with...

Severus awoke in the dungeon


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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Story #139

Post  Verity Weasley Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:14 pm

dormitory with a sense of

I think the last story turned out well too. It seemed a lot longer when I read it back than when we were writing it. I think we managed to capture Crookshanks' personality well, and although things got a little confusing with the gnome and the beast/creature, we managed to keep it on track. Altogether, a fun, highly probable day in the life of Crookshanks. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Story #139

Post  Potteraholic Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:16 pm

image c/o
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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 The_pr10

excitement. It was Halloween morning                             

Puck wrote:I really liked this story. I think the whole time stamps thing kept us on track, as did seeing through the eyes of a single character. It seemed authentic when it did stray a bit, as it seemed very cat-like to be thinking about naps, spiders, annoying birds, etc.... Plus, it was fun to write.
I agree, it was fun to write! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1003735042 And by straying, I didn't mean Crooksy's attention wandering thinking about food, or being annoyed at Pig. It was just one thing, really... the trio and Ginny going out in the garden to look at the car, but tossing bits of toast at something instead. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1242326132 Seemed a bit out of left field and seemed as if the 4 humans forgot what they were out there for. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 464751818

Great idea for a story, Puck! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508

I found another Lily and Severus story we wrote last year that's set right at the start of term. This was written when Five Words had already moved onto WX's Main Forum. But since there still was a Five Words volume on the FFF, Volume XII, with lots of posts left, we had the idea of using the remaining posts to revise previous stories. The first version of this story was chosen as a good candidate for revision, and both versions are included below. One of these days weeks months Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1437562208, ALL the previous stories will be readily accessible in the Five Words Archives. (When it comes to formatting things and getting all the codes right, things take longer than i think they will.) Maybe the Archives will be done by September 1st. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 464751818


Story #122, "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970" (1 April 2010)
Spoiler:

Story #122R, "Hogwarts, Year One, 1970: A Revision" (30 November 2010)
Spoiler:


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:08 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Story#139

Post  Julia H. Sun Jul 17, 2011 5:24 pm

, and he looked forward to

Yes, great story idea!

I have not had the time yet to read Crooksy's blog. Will do it tonight, hopefully. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Story #139

Post  Potteraholic Sun Jul 17, 2011 5:32 pm

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the special evening feast later.                            .


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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Story#139

Post  Julia H. Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:01 pm

He hurried to the Great

...Hall

I've read the blog now. Despite our hero's wandering attention, as mentioned by others, it is a coherent story, and it was fun to read, as well as to write. There is one inconsistency that I discovered - Crookshanks mentions one agapanthus first, then agapanthuses later.

I like it how Crooksy's cat personality comes across, and the ending is a real punch line! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2222139670

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Story #139

Post  Potteraholic Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:18 pm

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Hall because he'd asked Lily                             

Crooksy might have planned on digging up the one plant, at first, and then got carried away later. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 464751818


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Post  Julia H. Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:26 pm

to meet him before breakfast

PAH: Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2222139670

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Post  Potteraholic Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:28 pm

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 The_pr10

. He had a present for                             

Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508


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Post  Julia H. Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:31 pm

her, and he wanted to

Idea:
Spoiler:

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Post  Betelgeuse Black Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:17 pm

surprise her with it, privately.

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Post  Puck Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:54 pm

He found her waiting beside
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Post  Verity Weasley Mon Jul 18, 2011 2:05 am

the house point jars and

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Post  Julia H. Mon Jul 18, 2011 2:42 am

his heart leapt with joy

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Post  Mona Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:14 am

, as it always did at

Spoiler:

Crookshanks' log turned out really well, and was fun to write, too. We've managed to give him a distinctive personality, and a very endearing one at that.

I wish he was my cat! I love you

I don't mind the toast chucking part - gives the story the Five-wordsy feel! Wink

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Post  Betelgeuse Black Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:26 am

the sight of those green

Spoiler:

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Story #139

Post  Potteraholic Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:29 am

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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 The_pr10

eyes.

"Hi, Severus," said Lily                             


Thanks for the comments about the Crookshanks story, folks. It would be great to hear from everyone who participated, even if it was just for a few posts. Thanks! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2752390508



Okay, please excuse me, but I need to have a bit of a [rant]. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 3276373137 It would be great, if, every once in a while, folks could acknowledge the fact that I posted the official story and stats with some words of appreciation. When I look at the comments for the other Potty Games: the trivia quiz, riddle, hangman, and 20 Questions, folks get nice comments there all the time. Granted, I am not creating the story on my own, but I am certainly compiling it, thinking of a title, formatting the text and the stats, and posting it, usually very quickly, all on my own. And sometimes, i wonder, why bother trying to get things done quickly? No one seems to say a thing about it. Yes, I realize folks are busy, but I have things to do, too. It takes more than magic to get this stuff done. [/rant]



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Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 Empty Story #139

Post  Mona Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:00 am

brightly. "What did you want

Spoiler:

Oh PAH, I'm so sorry! Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1437562208 Embarassed

I guess it's kind of like housework - people only notice it if it isn't done. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 2222139670

When you keep doing as good a job as you always do, I guess we take it for granted. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1437562208

Sorry once again, and let me say it at least now - great job!

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Post  Puck Mon Jul 18, 2011 9:11 am

to show me?"

Now that


Perhaps he feels a bit nervous now that she is right in front of him?
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Post  Betelgeuse Black Mon Jul 18, 2011 9:25 am

she was gazing at him,

(here I go again with the eyes...)

PAH,

I'm sorry that you have not been congratulated and thanked for your work getting this stuff together. Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV) - Page 11 1437562208 I have only recently started with running a trivia quiz and it really does take some time. I think the forum is a great place to be because of people like you who take the time to let me stop by and drop a few posts and feel like a part of something great.

Sooooo, thank you for all that you have done for us! flower rendeer farao jocolor

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