Letters to Rowling

Letters To Rowling

Edited by Oct 10, 2006 5:12 am

A collection of "letters" that come only come from the minds of the oddest, most obsessive Harry Potter fans.

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Alaria Relladrem - Apr 22, 2003 1:16 am (#1 of 28)

On "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" and the "horrible death" in that book...

Dear Ms. Rowling,

Oh, please, PLEASE tell us if it's Neville who dies. We don't care to know who it is if it's not him, and we swear we won't tell anyone!

We beg you! If we read about his death without warning, none of us will be able to get through Books 6 and 7! We may go into shock and have to be put in St. Mungo's! Wait. We forgot -- we're already there.

Skystrike may even go insane and use the Avada Kedavra curse on 144 people ... twice each! And make it work ... both times! Worse, she may steal everyone's underwear and build a giant monument to Neville with 'em.

Please, PLEASE tell us! We swear by the Mirror of Erised, the Sorting Hat, and Merlin's beard (as well as his right big toe) that we won't tell ANYONE!

Sincerely,

Lubby, Fuzzface, and Skystrike

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Madam Poppy - May 21, 2003 3:23 am (#2 of 28)
Edited by May 20, 2003 8:25 pm

Dear Ms. Rowling,

During the Quidditch World Cup, I would like to know why the kids had to go to the pump to get water, when their tent already had a kitchen and bathroom?

Also, is Madam Pomfrey's job in danger in the last 2 books? I would like to know if I need to work on my resume.

Thanks, Poppy

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Cliff Hamaker - May 22, 2003 2:06 am (#3 of 28)

Dear Ms. Rowling,

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Sincerely yours,

Me!

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Ticker  - May 23, 2003 4:25 pm (#4 of 28)

Dear Ms. Rowling,

Could you please write faster?

Sincerely,

Ticker

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Liz Mann - Sep 27, 2003 8:53 pm (#5 of 28)

Dear Miss Rowling,

I'd like to know how Harry got the Marauder's Map back when, the last we heard, the fake Moody had it.

Lexicon Surfer Liz.

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Lenka - Oct 1, 2003 11:31 am (#6 of 28)

Dear Miss Rowling,

I read the first four books in a week and the fifth in three days... I'm giving you a month to finish the sixth and seventh...

Sincerelly,

Lenka

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Liz Mann - Oct 6, 2003 10:55 pm (#7 of 28)

Lol!

Dear Miss Rowling,

If you dare harm one hair on Ron's head, you'll really need those bodyguards you've hired!!!!

Your biggest fan,

Lexicon Surfer and Official Pottie, Liz

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Madam Poppy - Oct 11, 2003 9:07 pm (#8 of 28)

Dear Ms. Rowling, I would like to know why 5th year Prefect Ron didn't know that he couldn't go up into the girl's dormitory?
Sincerely, Madam Poppy

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Joost! - Oct 11, 2003 9:31 pm (#9 of 28)
Edited by Oct 11, 2003 2:35 pm

Dear Madam Poppy,

That's because Ron never read Hogwarts, A History.

Sincerely,

Jo Rowling

P.S. Love your name!
P.P.S HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related indicia are trademarks of and Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. 2003, you'll be hearing from a lawyer very soon.

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Jasmine Evans - Nov 13, 2003 9:20 pm (#10 of 28)

Dear Mrs. Rowling.

I enjoy your books very much, and I look forward to book 6 and 7, but I am very unsatisfied that Sirius is dead. Why exactly him? Why couldn't it be Malfoy, Umbridge or one of the other less pleasant characters?

Well, it can't be different, I know, but now at least I've got an outlet for my frustration.

Sincerely, Jasmine.

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Lenka - Nov 17, 2003 12:53 pm (#11 of 28)

Dear Jasmine,

Unpleasant characters? Whatever do you mean? Draco is such a sweetheart, and my dear Dolores, I based her on my very favorite auntie. On the other hand, Sirius is irresponsible, wild and a blood traitor. I suppose the world will be a much happier place with him out of the way.

Joanne Kathleen Rowling.

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Jasmine Evans - Nov 17, 2003 3:11 pm (#12 of 28)

My dear Joanne,

you're disappointing me.

Jasmine.

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Lenka - Nov 17, 2003 7:12 pm (#13 of 28)

Dear Miss Evans

You completely deserve it.

I shudder at the idea of anyone finding my beloved Auntie Dolores and unpleasant character. Why, she is so sweet and lovable!

J.K. Rowling.

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Jasmine Evans - Nov 18, 2003 7:06 pm (#14 of 28)
Edited by Nov 18, 2003 11:07 am

Dear Miss Rowling.

I apologize for my attitude to your auntie. I love her.

( Almost as much as migraine on a Christmas day ).

Sincerely, Mrs. Evans.

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Lenka - Nov 19, 2003 6:19 am (#15 of 28)

Dear Jasmine,

You must then really love a migraine on a Christmas day.

J.K.Rowling

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Blast - Dec 12, 2003 11:59 pm (#16 of 28)

Dear .Ms. Rowling, It is not necessary that you have to shred all your paper. We promise that we won't go through it any more. Your Recycle Man

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Blast - Mar 19, 2004 7:45 am (#17 of 28)
Edited by Mar 18, 2004 11:46 pm

Dear Jo, I have a great Idea, remember that little joke we tossed around about the Giant Squid, well lets put a little twist on it. Who would ever suspect that it is Snape's anamagus form.Yours in heart and soul, Blast.

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Emily - Mar 22, 2004 11:54 pm (#18 of 28)

Dear Ms. Rowling,

I first wish to inform you of what an excellent writer you are, but will you please release just an outline of the next book to us poor lexicon readers who are desperate for information. We would use it only for research purposes, of course, and would never dream of releasing any of the information.

By the way, I know that you realize you have thousands of fans, but I don't think you realize to what extent your fans will go to get the information they desire. This is why I suggest you entrust all your notes to the nice people at the Lexicon, who would never release your notes on the web, and not anyone else! While you are doing so, perhaps you could inform us of your screen name on the Forum?

Another issue is who you are allowing to write the movie sharing a title with your books. Steve Kloves, while I'm sure is creative, is just not faithful enough to the plot. He changes major details that effect the plot and the rest of the series, and makes the times much too short! I can't possibly imagine how he shall fit the elaborate plot of Goblet of Fire into two and a half hours! Do you and he not realize that your true fans would sit through any length of time to witness a movie that is faithful to your masterpieces, not to mention that you deserve no less than the very best screen writer! has also come to my attention that Kloves is, in rumor, planning to make Snape actually rescue Harry, Ron, and Hermione from the Shrieking Shack! This would completely ruin the last scene in most people's favorite book (myself included). If Snape rescues the kids, then Pettigrew will not be able to escape the same way, leaving the second prophecy of Trelawney unfulfilled. It also means that thousands of people who have never read the book (if that can be believed!) will view Snape in a fashion quite contrary to how you have written him in your excellent series. Please do not allow this butchering of your works to be continued!

In case you are wondering why I am bothering to write to you, I do realize that you are much too busy (hopefully writing, and not overseeing the production of the movie or some such), but I believe you would be wise to follow my advice. Remember that the fate of the wizarding world rests in your hands. But this is not the only reason that I am writing to you, there is an excellent Harry Potter Obsession Quiz out there on the web, and writing to you is a requirement. Hoping you receive this (because I know you read the forum), and wishing very much for your correspondence,

Lexicon Forum Member and Official Potty,

Emily

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SHEla WOLFsbane - Mar 23, 2004 11:05 am (#19 of 28)

Dear JK Rowling, Your books have caused me to find the Lexicon forum. I would say thank you, but you see, I have a migraine coming on, and laughing this hard, well, it's just not good! Snape as the giant squid!!! Ha, Ha, I love it! Alas, it is also because of your wonderful story telling that I am even on such a thing as a computer-for that I will not thank you. I do however, thank you in advance for your prompt release of book six. Hint, hint. Thank you for your time. SHEWOLF las bane

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Julia. - Apr 11, 2004 9:25 pm (#20 of 28)
Edited by Apr 11, 2004 2:26 pm

Dear Ms Rowling, I have several questions that have been bugging the hell out of me for quite some time now. I have decided that I will ask you them should I ever meet you, but I have a feeling that that will never happen, so I decided that this letter would be a much more efficient way of asking my questions, although i highly doubt your ability to give solid answers. Anyway, here they are.

1. What house was Moaning Myrtle in?
2. Did Lockhart go to Hogwarts? If so, what house was he in?
3. Would you please explain the whole Lupin/Wolfsbane potion/not truning into a werewolf as soon as the moon rose thing?
4.  Is Aberforth Dumbledore the bartender at the Hogs Head?
5. Is Dumbledore the Giant Squid?

I think that about covers it. Fell free not to answer these now, there's still a chance (however minimal) that I might actually meet you and get to ask these brainteasers in person.

Lex Forumer and Pottie all the way,
Julia K.


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Acceber  - Apr 13, 2004 8:34 pm (#21 of 28)
Edited by Apr 13, 2004 1:36 pm

Dear Ms Rowling, I have never met you in real life, although I have seen many pictures and I had a dream about meeting you. I, like Julia, have a few questions to ask you, which you probably will send a form letter back to, without answering any questions. Oh well, here goes:

~Who will inherit 12 Grimmauld Place now that Sirius is dead?
~Do Petunia and Figgy know more about the wizarding world than they're letting on?
~Will any Weasleys die?
~Will Tonks die?
~Will Lupin die?
~Will Dumbledore die?
~What is the thing about ghosts you've been saving for Book 7?
~Why are the Potters so rich?
~What did Dudley see in place of dementors?
~Will Harry and Snape's relationship ever change?
~How much longer until Book 6?
~How could you possibly have messed up the Priori Incantatem thing in the graveyard?  

There, I think that about covers it. Thank you for your time.

Obssessed Freak, Proud Lexicon Forum Member, and Potty,
Acceber

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Jasmine Evans - Jul 31, 2004 2:47 pm (#22 of 28)
Edited by Jul 31, 2004 7:49 am

Dear Jo.

Happy birthday to you and Harry, and congratulations on your pregnancy. My best wishes for you and your family - though one of your unveilings in your home page (In F.A.Q. Poll) disappointed me. Never mind, I'll forgive you.

Greetings, Jasmine.

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Denise S. - Nov 18, 2004 10:25 am (#23 of 28)
Edited by Nov 18, 2004 2:27 am

Dear Ms. Rowling,

We Potties have giggled and joked and believed and obsessed on our darling little forum here for some two years now. We take our theorizing siriusly (seriously) and grow quite attached to them. Okay, so we completely screwed up when we decided that Snape didn't want the DADA position after all, but hey, we can admit that. We learned our lesson.

As we are incredibly, insanely obsessed with the Potterverse, ever since you admitted going to chat rooms and using the HP Lexicon, we wonder amongst ourselves if you have ever read our threads and posts. Perhaps you have heard of our DIGS theory, whether by reading a post or maybe it leaked on the Lexicon or something.

Now, there is no doubt in our collective forum mind that Dumbledore is, in fact, the Giant Squid. All evidence points in that direction, and the most rabid of us will fight to the death to defend this. We have even sent members to infiltrate the public chats you occasionally do to try to get our eternal question--"Is Dumbledore the Giant Squid?"--past the other hundreds of pointless questions that you've already been asked a thousand times.

When I first became a believer of the DIGS theory, I thought I would be able to handle an answer of "no" to this question. However, Ms. Rowling, I, and hundreds of others, passed that point long ago. If we were to be told that Dumbledore is not the Giant Squid, I cannot imagine how many of us would be forced to take permanent residence in St. Mungo's from the shock and despair; I daresay the rabid believers would be pushed to commit suicide. Please, Ms. Rowling, do not let this happen!

You see, there is no other option--Dumbledore must be the Giant Squid. Now, if you had not planned for this, do not worry, for none of us will claim that you "stole" the idea (tho' we would claim "I TOLD YOU SO!" rights). But I thought you ought to know that you might one day be doing a chat and have this question pop up. For the love of all things Potter, say that it is true!

Yours in DIGSdom,

Denise S.
Grand Poobah of Ravens for Ravenclaw

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Marè - Nov 18, 2004 11:23 am (#24 of 28)

I'm touched, Denise, *snif snif,* that is SO true!

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Denise S. - Nov 18, 2004 11:57 am (#25 of 28)
Edited by Nov 18, 2004 3:58 am

The sad thing about this, Marè, is that when I started this letter, I meant it to be an exaggerated joke, but when I started writing it, it only got more and more earnest. *tsk tsk* I am gone beyond hope!

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Marè - Nov 18, 2004 12:43 pm (#26 of 28)

No I feel the same way! I was so disappointed when she told us that Lupin was not James, not because I believed that theory, but because our crazy theories are all we have between the books. And some of the craziest ones inspire the most brilliant discussions!
My wish for the DIGS theory would be to have it neither denied nor confirmed at the end of book 7. But that there are verrry subtle hints and clues in the last two books that it might be possible (only for the believers to see), that we never see the squid and dumbledore in the same setting, and that Jo never answers that questions so we can always keep on dreaming. That would be HP heaven!

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Denise S. - Nov 18, 2004 1:54 pm (#27 of 28)

My personal best case scenario would be an added detail added, it would seem, "just for us." (Like with the Lucius age bit in OoP, I jumped up and swore that she had heard our debate on his age.) I wouldn't refuse a "yes" to DIGS, but because there's a 50% chance we wouldn't get that if we asked, I think we're all better off left to our own musings!

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Hermionefan(#1) - Jun 18, 2005 9:49 pm (#28 of 28)

Dear Ms. Rowling,

I was just wondering, Lockhart never did anything in his books, did he? But they really happened, it just wasn't him, right? Yes, so what about the book in which Lockhart saved a village from a Wagga-Wagga Werewolf? Didn't he use some spell that changed him into a normal man? Yes, well why has no one thought to use it on Lupin? Sincerely, Hermy[/color]