Discussion of the WWN Interviews

Discussion of WWN Interviews

Edited by Oct 10, 2006 5:51 am

This is the temporary Thread for it. Please cut & paste all threads in order from where I left of on the new one from the old thread to the new one.

Thanks.

(Don’t post to the new one until we finish moving all the interviews)

I added the following link. - Kip

Link to the WWNterviews thread on the Lexicon Forum http://worldcrossing.com/WebX?1@@.1ddb09c4

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Carina - Mar 21, 2003 5:57 am (#1 of 384)
Edited by Mar 20, 2003 9:58 pm

Sorry to complicate the system, but maybe we can post what the original post number was so that we can stay in some sort of order?

I removed my post and I'll repost it when we get there. It was originally post 74.

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rettoP yrraH - Mar 21, 2003 6:01 am (#2 of 384)

We are up to post #45 Urg's turn now.

No prob Carina!!

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rettoP yrraH - Mar 21, 2003 6:45 am (#3 of 384)

One more thing I am trying to keep the Main dialog of the Original WWN. So whatever is important like Interviews or anything that has to do with the interviews goes in (leave the chatter out). And after we finish we can get back to good old WWN.

I hope you get what I’m talking about....

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Ticker - Mar 22, 2003 4:05 am (#4 of 384)

How do we keep it in any sort of order? Some of the humor is in the interaction. Can the whole thread be moved & let Sam edit out the chaff? - not that he would want to - I'll gladly move my whole 2 posts but - they're near the end & I'll probably screw something up. Sam - let me know what you want. You have my permission to move them if it is more convenient. I'll check back here later.

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Kip Carter - Mar 22, 2003 7:04 am (#5 of 384)

There is no way to move the whole thread. Sorry about that!

Kip

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Caitlin McCoy - Mar 24, 2003 11:28 pm (#6 of 384)

Oh this is gonna be fun!

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rettoP yrraH - Mar 25, 2003 3:41 am (#7 of 384)

Yea...when Urg gets back..........

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rettoP yrraH - Mar 26, 2003 4:41 am (#8 of 384)

Urg? are you out there?

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Marè - Mar 26, 2003 2:26 pm (#9 of 384)

Well I am honoured that, although I totally missed the moving off the STUFFED thread, I am still the second (after Sam) who got STUFFED. Do I feel turkey now

But boy, is it going to be some work moving this entire thread.

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Urg the Unclean - Mar 29, 2003 5:26 pm (#10 of 384)

Sorry guys. I've been super busy on the community radio project. I'll do my bit late tonight.

Keith (AKA Urg, aka You Know Who, AKA "The Twisted")

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Urg the Unclean - Mar 30, 2003 4:43 am (#11 of 384)

Thanks for moving Firenze. I hope I'm doing this right. Just moved the Binky.

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rettoP yrraH - Mar 30, 2003 10:58 pm (#12 of 384)
Edited by Mar 30, 2003 3:03 pm

WJ or Pyro your up next if you want

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Carina - Mar 31, 2003 6:25 am (#13 of 384)

Poppy, Sam was hoping to keep the thread in somewhat the same order and we're only in the early 70s. The Vex Hex comes later, doesn't it?

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Kip Carter - Mar 31, 2003 12:01 pm (#14 of 384)

If Poppy's posts needs to be deleted, she can do it or if you need me to do it, just let me know.

Sam, it is your decision.

Kip

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rettoP yrraH - Apr 1, 2003 3:06 am (#15 of 384)

Nahh it fits. If your Post doesn’t mess with the general flow by all means put it in!

Whos next?

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Caitlin McCoy - Apr 2, 2003 3:35 am (#16 of 384)

Do Lunai's posts count?

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rettoP yrraH - Apr 2, 2003 3:28 pm (#17 of 384)

I guess so

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 3, 2003 3:28 am (#18 of 384)
Edited by Apr 2, 2003 7:31 pm

With 200 plus postings, no wonder we're losing track of the sequence. Here in order are the bigger postings but there's much fun stuff in between.

WJ's Emma Mathewson interview. Landman's Dobby & Jar Jar conversation. Sam's Professor Dumbledors socks. Hagrid at the help group. Sam's Yoda & Dobby. My official grievance. My non interview with Ronan. Nice stuff from Lunai Koru. Ticker's mutant hex. subsequent Vex Hex stuff. Sam's Martin the Mad Muggle. My meeting with the unicorns & near capture by Amos & Archie. Attempted interview with Weasley's ghoul. The Ludo Bagman mystery. Ticker's orange leprechauns.

Let's move everything over quickly and get back to posting new stuff. I've a feeling Sam's got a good one on hold. We need as much laughter as we can get in the face of such dark news from the real muggle world. I have no objection to anyone moving my posts if I seem slow.

Much love to all

Urg

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Carina - Apr 3, 2003 4:31 am (#19 of 384)

I'm confused... where are we in the scheme of things?

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 3, 2003 2:57 pm (#20 of 384)

WJ is next, then Landman & so on through the order of interviews & news reports I listed in my last post. There are some back & forths that are quite funny amid the bigger posts & it would be great to have them but the quicker we get caught up the better. I'm eager to see some new posts but I don't have any myself yet.

Urg

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Ticker - Apr 3, 2003 4:58 pm (#21 of 384)

I shoulda checked here first - sorry - I just saw Madam Poppy's stuff on the vex hex & thought I should stick the original story in before it got too out of place. You can delete it & I'll put it in later - whatever. I only get to check in about twice a week, but I'll stop here first - I promise. Boy this team-work stuff is tricky, eh? Thanks Urg for the summary. I'll keep my eyes open for WJ so I can nudge her into using her copy machine.

Sincerely looking forward to the next news-worthy interview from all 42 of you!

-Ticker

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rettoP yrraH - Apr 3, 2003 6:28 pm (#22 of 384)

Thanks tick.

Urg the stuff I want to get in order is the part where we have an argument over the pay. The rest will fit in any were

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Carina - Apr 4, 2003 5:42 am (#23 of 384)

uh oh... I saw Ticker's post and posted mine. Should I not have?

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rettoP yrraH - Apr 4, 2003 5:07 pm (#24 of 384)

No prob

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W J - Apr 4, 2003 5:52 pm (#25 of 384)
Edited by Apr 4, 2003 9:59 am

Whew! 'Sorry, I'm late! Kinko's was closed and it took me forever to find another copy shop. Really! It's true!.....well anyway, the editor's interview is posted now and thanks, Ticker, for the nudge.

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Ticker - Apr 4, 2003 8:53 pm (#26 of 384)
Edited by Apr 4, 2003 12:55 pm

No problem! Good to have you in the mix - mixed-up, mixed nuts,...

Now... where's Landman?

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rettoP yrraH - Apr 15, 2003 4:06 am (#27 of 384)

Hope to be back full time in about 2 weeks.

Keep Smiling!!

Sam

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Marè - Apr 15, 2003 8:01 pm (#28 of 384)

Er Sam, were are you going?

Sam???

SAAHAAM??

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Ticker - Apr 17, 2003 4:44 pm (#29 of 384)

Oh no! We're running out of time!!!! Kip - can we add a week or two on? Some of the contributors we'd like to include in transfer aren't regulars to WWNterviews and getting this in order is a trick. Urg has given a great summary in post #18. If we can follow his recommendations, the news room should be set up & ready to produce more insightful interviews soon.

Happy Pesach, Sam.

*rushes off in search of Landman (again)*

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Kip Carter - Apr 17, 2003 7:12 pm (#30 of 384)

I changed the date from April 20th to May 1st.

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Ticker - Apr 18, 2003 1:00 am (#31 of 384)

Thanks Kip!

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 18, 2003 2:35 am (#32 of 384)

Let's do a few stand alone new ones to keep the fun alive. No one did Fleur or Krumm yet. I'll try to think of someone unexpected.

Urg

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Tommie - Apr 18, 2003 2:42 am (#33 of 384)
Edited by Apr 17, 2003 7:42 pm

Ooh...ARCHIE!

Nono...ARCHIE'S NIGHTGOWN!

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rettoP yrraH - Apr 21, 2003 3:14 am (#34 of 384)

Just popping in to tell you that I’m still alive

Urg you can post some of my posts if you want.

Happy Holidays all!

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Ticker - Apr 22, 2003 12:44 am (#35 of 384)

Glad to hear it Sam - Happy Pesach! Anyone talk to Landman?

Tommie - great ideas (lol just thinking about it)!!!

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Landman - Apr 22, 2003 2:14 am (#36 of 384)

Sorry - I haven't been reading this lately. I posted my Dobby/Jar-Jar interview -- is that what I was supposed to do? I'm really not clear on the whole thing here (sorry, my brain cells have been in short supply lately -- too many other things to think about.)

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Pinky - Apr 22, 2003 2:21 am (#37 of 384)

I love that interview, Landman. *laughs*

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 23, 2003 3:13 am (#38 of 384)

Landman, glad you slid the masterpiece in. It allowed me to catch up on a few of mine & Sam's. Now where's the lovely Lunai when we need her?

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 23, 2003 3:16 am (#39 of 384)

Ticker's mutant hex & then the vex hex series ... get ready. Then Sam's Mad Muggle madness

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Ticker - Apr 24, 2003 5:31 pm (#40 of 384)
Edited by Apr 24, 2003 10:35 am

Thanks Landman for moving the Dobby/Jar-Jar interview over! I laugh out loud every time I read it! Urg yours too (smiles really big hoping you can see through the screen) - even though a couple got posted twice :-).

Urg - the Vex Hex already mutated over here & most of the following comments. The Leprechaun news flash could come over any time probably. Just have Ellen's comments following (I think). I'll watch for your attempted Bagman interview.

See you all later! (Goes off in search of Ms. Koru.)

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 25, 2003 1:21 am (#41 of 384)

Yes, where is Lunai the Loverly? I'm not sure what happened with the double posts. Maybe I was trigger happy. This series has been fun to read & fun to write for. I'm glad Sam badgered me in chat to "get in there". The idea of an insecure goblin always trying to please was an accident but now I'm hooked.

Hope you all have some new ones in the pipe. I was thinking of a retired bludgers reunion but can't pull it together ... yet.

Urg

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megfox - Apr 26, 2003 1:12 am (#42 of 384)

Hope you don't mind, but if I don't do it now, I'd totally forget!

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 28, 2003 1:59 am (#43 of 384)

Great Meg. I've moved the last of mine & Sam's to get us within sight of the finish line. Ticker's Orange leprechauns would really do it though there are some hilarious interactions, threats, warnings etc that would be nice to keep. At least we could start on some new ones.

Luckily, when I found out the old thread would melt down I listed all messages & cut & paste them to a text file so if anybody wants the complete thread I have it.

Urg

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Denise S. - Apr 29, 2003 12:52 am (#44 of 384)

I'm not sure if you're having everyone just post what they originally posted themselves on the other thread, but if so, then could you please tell me when my post is up, or you could just go ahead and repost it yourselves...yeah.

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 29, 2003 3:30 am (#45 of 384)

Denise S. You're up. Get that ghostly/ghastly apparition in there. It haunted my dreams for days and I went through quite a bit of pepper up. I'm fortified now.

Did Ms. Koru ever surface? We only have two more days to complete the task. Then ... it's only new stuff (hee hee, chuckle, chuckle).

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Denise S. - Apr 29, 2003 5:25 am (#46 of 384)

Alright, well, I guess it won't be in order. Sorry. I can repost it late on if you want, to a place where it'll fit :-).

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Kip Carter - May 1, 2003 10:32 am (#47 of 384)

Sam,

Today is May 1st. I had extended the original date of April 20th to May 1st.

Someone needs to get a handle of these transfers. We are moving at a snail's pace in moving the threads. I will extend the period to get everything transferred to the end of this month. However, the latest I will be able to grant you time to move is June 20th.

I will be moving the location of the original thread within the next few day to the top of the Jeopardy area which is three-quarters down the main page.

I do not want the original thread deleted; however someone has to coordinate the moves to get them moving. Maybe if people are not going to check here to coordinate the moves, then maybe email needs to be used or something. I wish I had a better solution.

I will post a duplicate of this post at the bottom of the original thread on the Lexicon Forum.

Kip

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Ticker - May 2, 2003 1:12 am (#48 of 384)
Edited by May 1, 2003 6:14 pm

Whaddarwemissin Urg? You know which Urg I'm referring to, right?

And - geez Kip - get some sleep, eh? Thanks for the e x t e n s i o n we are S L O W .

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Urg the Unclean - May 2, 2003 2:56 am (#49 of 384)

Well, Ticker me old son. We're missing a lot of back and forth: some extra vex hex, some anti Urg, some flying squid stuff, most of it quite funny. But we could move on. I'm ready for a new batch. I figured Sam had something up his sleeve but as he's AWOL we could do some interviews or a newsflash while we wait.

Urg (the other one)

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Denise S. - May 2, 2003 2:10 pm (#50 of 384)

This afternoon, I could spend some time posting the old posts. It's not that hard, and I guess I could do it in order. I'll be sure to keep the names of the original posters in the posts. It'd be a shame to lose all that :-(.

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Urg the Unclean - May 2, 2003 3:46 pm (#51 of 384)

Denise, I can't imagine anyone objecting. The name of the original poster still shows. I have all messages copied to one text file so if the original thread is deleted we still have them.

Keith

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Denise S. - May 2, 2003 8:09 pm (#52 of 384)

Okay. I'll try to make sure I don't post any duplicates, but if I do, I guess there's always the "delete" button I can hit. Do you want some of the comments posted? Do you want me to try to figure out if something is "worthy" to keep for this thread ;-)?

The new WWN posts aren't in order, are they?

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Urg the Unclean - May 3, 2003 1:40 am (#53 of 384)

The order was ruined in the rush to meet the deadline. It seemed that if we waited for a one liner, however funny, we could wait a day or two with the clock ticking. It also seemed we'd not move on until all the big interviews were moved over. I rushed mine and sam's with his permission in the last 48 hours, wanting to put other people's responses in but hesitant to do that in case someone objected.

Something gets lost the longer it drags on. I'd like to see us get to new stuff soon.

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rettoP yrraH - May 4, 2003 4:25 am (#54 of 384)

IM BACK FOR GOOD! (I think) what post # we up to?

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Denise S. - May 4, 2003 5:35 am (#55 of 384)

One billion.

Alright. I have taken the relevant posts from the regular forum and taken them here. There might be one or two duplicates; I think one of the Urg ones is a duplicates, but I posted it again cuz there was conversation afterwards that was amusing and you had to know the context.

And if anyone else sees something in the other thread that you think should be over here, post it yourself. Otherwise, I'd say that the move is finished.

And I'm tired.

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Urg the Unclean - May 4, 2003 10:46 am (#56 of 384)

ALL HAIL Denise

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rettoP yrraH - May 5, 2003 3:42 am (#57 of 384)

I second it

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Marè - May 5, 2003 11:17 am (#58 of 384)

I third it. ^_^

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Urg the Unclean - May 5, 2003 3:13 pm (#59 of 384)

Glad to see you back, you gadabout. Now redeem yourself with a side splitting interview. (no pressure - grin)

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Denise S. - May 5, 2003 7:30 pm (#60 of 384)

Ach, you guys! ^_^

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rettoP yrraH - May 7, 2003 6:34 pm (#61 of 384)

This is gonna be fun! any Q's for me?

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PyroGrl - May 7, 2003 10:15 pm (#62 of 384)

*laughing* C.R.A.P.!!! LOL. Hopefully it's not Kippendoed.

Questions...um...

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Kip Carter - May 8, 2003 1:01 pm (#63 of 384)

I have move the thread WWNterviews on the Lexicon Forum. So that you do not have to scroll down and hunt for the thread all the time, I have added a direct link on the original post for this thread -- WWNterveiws is down please read.

I hope that this will help each of you in your transferring of the original thread on the Lexicon Forum to this FanFiction Forum.

Kip

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rettoP yrraH - May 8, 2003 4:23 pm (#64 of 384)

Thanks Kip

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Carina - May 9, 2003 6:17 am (#65 of 384)

Does that mean we're done?

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rettoP yrraH - May 11, 2003 4:26 am (#66 of 384)

From the Old place yes. Unless you want to move something I’m not sure it’s still there.

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PyroGrl - May 11, 2003 4:29 am (#67 of 384)

So now can we post just...anything? Like -- other interviews, perhaps?

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rettoP yrraH - May 11, 2003 6:00 am (#68 of 384)

As long as it fits in line with what were up to. As of now I am locked in a closet in the studio and the callers are harrasing the centaur.

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rettoP yrraH - May 13, 2003 4:20 am (#69 of 384)

Woa you guys are doing great! keep it up!!

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Istari Jones - May 15, 2003 1:19 am (#70 of 384)

I have just started reading this post a few weeks ago and, boy, am I sorry I didn't start it sooner. This has to be the funniest thread on the entire forum, next to St. Mungo's, of course! You guys are really, really funny. I love the way Urg keeps saying "Boss" ^_^

Are there any interviews with Snape, or Lupin?

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rettoP yrraH - May 15, 2003 2:53 am (#71 of 384)
Edited by May 14, 2003 7:57 pm

Thanks Istari! And you can do an interview of whoever you want as soon as I get out of the closet

But remeber I am still the Boss

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Istari Jones - May 15, 2003 3:02 am (#72 of 384)

OK, "BOSS!" (Snicker, ^_^)

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Istari Jones - May 15, 2003 3:33 am (#73 of 384)

Say, can I be "STUFFED", too? Huh? Pretty please?? (What does it stand for again?)

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rettoP yrraH - May 15, 2003 4:21 am (#74 of 384)
Edited by May 14, 2003 9:25 pm

Istari you are STUFFED

all funny comments are welcome

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Istari Jones - May 15, 2003 12:02 pm (#75 of 384)

Yay! I'm STUFFED like a turkey! YAY!

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Urg the Unclean - May 15, 2003 12:45 pm (#76 of 384)

turkey! STUFFED turkey. (licks lips)

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PyroGrl - May 16, 2003 3:47 am (#77 of 384)

Society for The Union of Flying Feather Errol Dusters??

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Istari Jones - May 16, 2003 4:24 am (#78 of 384)

Do we have a secret handshake?

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Carina - May 16, 2003 6:09 am (#79 of 384)

We flap our arms by our sides and crash into the person we're greeting.

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Urg the Unclean - May 16, 2003 12:23 pm (#80 of 384)

No one's ever shook hands with me.

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Marè - May 16, 2003 12:46 pm (#81 of 384)

That's probably because you will try to grab them and take a bite....

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Ticker - May 16, 2003 6:38 pm (#82 of 384)

OK, Urg, do what I do...

Face me. Good. Now, grab your wrist and shake it like you're trying to kill it. Very good. You do that well! Great!

See since I did it too, we've shook hands together.

Feel better now?

For those of you watching, this is really the only safe way to shake hands with some persons.

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Istari Jones - May 16, 2003 8:03 pm (#83 of 384)

What Urg really needs is a big hug, you guys! After all the comments about shaking his hand you've all hurt his feelings. Everyone should feel bad about how they're treating him. C'mere, Urg. That's it. Poor guy. (Gives Urg a big grandmotherly type hug.) Uh, Urg...you can let go now...Urg?...Let go now. URG!! Let GO! mmmphff...Don't squeeze so hard! I...mmmphhhfff...can't...breathe! Help! Help!

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Urg the Unclean - May 16, 2003 9:08 pm (#84 of 384)

At least no one asked me to wash my hands first. I'm feeling better already.

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Denise S. - Sep 5, 2003 5:35 pm (#85 of 384)

Istari: *by now a deeply-blue form in Urg's arms*

No! Urg, you don't hug for four months straight! Liberare! Ennervate! Urg, if you can't behave like a human, then don't tell us you can! And Istari, always make sure there's a trained wizard nearby just in case of an emergency!

Urg, you're needed at the station, we're having a problem with a giant down there. Use your newly found hugging skills there, okay?

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 5, 2003 6:07 pm (#86 of 384)

Hey all I'll post the next interview Tomorrow night...where is Urg any way?

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B]Ticker[/B] - Sep 19, 2003 2:13 am (#87 of 384)

Maybe he's washing his hands?

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 19, 2003 4:15 am (#88 of 384)

Never! he would melt!

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 22, 2003 3:43 am (#89 of 384)
Edited by Sep 21, 2003 8:49 pm

Ok this is the end folks. I am done posting to this thread. This is the end of this thread. Maybe the end of my posting altogether. I wish you all happy and full lives, one day we may meet again.

Samuel Jacob M.

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Sassi Fras - Sep 22, 2003 6:35 am (#90 of 384)
Edited by Sep 21, 2003 11:45 pm

Hey Sam I hope you reconsider. You're really going to be missed. Who's going to make me laugh? Please come back. Please Please Please Please Please Michelle (aka very very sad)

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The Great Abbycadabra - Sep 22, 2003 6:40 am (#91 of 384)

Hey, Sam! You really are the "man"! We'll miss you in the chatroom and beyond. I hope you dare venture back every now and then and say hi.

Peace, Abby 8-)

*plays bagpipe salute*

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Ticker - Sep 23, 2003 1:36 am (#92 of 384)

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Ssssaaammmmmmmmm - don't leave us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could say goodbye to this thread, but not to you! Please don't mean you aren't posting anymore. Ack!

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Madam Poppy - Sep 24, 2003 9:17 am (#93 of 384)
Edited by Sep 24, 2003 2:17 am

I give him a couple of days, then he will start going through H.P. withdrawal. He'll be back, and then we can hit him over the head for even thinking of leaving.

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Lenka - Oct 14, 2003 11:26 am (#94 of 384)

*sobs*

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[BHermionefan(#1)[/B] - Mar 7, 2004 10:58 pm (#95 of 384)

Um, what are WWNterviews? Is it where you "interview" someone form HP or something?

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Ticker - Mar 8, 2004 2:13 am (#96 of 384)

It was a radio? show (including behind the scenes communications from/with the over-paid staff) that hasn't broadcast in quite some time due to the management leaving. It's well worth the read. Perhaps some enterprising reporters could get it running again. I've heard rumors that the centaurs left the microphones on when they left...

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Marè - Mar 8, 2004 12:54 pm (#97 of 384)

I don't think reading it makes much sense Ticker, the management staff took the interviews when he left. (Including a priceless Errol one.. ) Probably copyright issues I think.

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Ticker - Mar 8, 2004 4:06 pm (#98 of 384)

There was a bit of a problem in transferring to the new studio but most of the interviews got moved. I just re-read most of it & laughed myself silly again.

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 6, 2004 3:42 am (#99 of 384)

We've been on #98 long enough. This is WWN story hour!

It was a dark and stormy night. A curse rang out. A Grim howled. A teenage boy awoke clutching his forehead to ease the terrible pain that had erupted across his brow. His fingers, so used to kneading the lightning shaped scar below his hairline that had been aching almost continuously all summer came into contact with hard, cold, scaly fingers that were not his own. He knew he was in the grip of some diabolical creature reaching to tear his flesh, a creature neither man nor beast that had been attempting to kill him since he was a baby. He cried out. He felt nauseous. His hand withdrew as if he had suddenly received an electric shock and reached in panic for a weapon to defend himself. Why wasn't his wand near? The wand that had saved his life so many times before.

As his fingers fluttered trying to reach something, anything, his life began to flash through his mind: a bright green light, a dog chasing him across a patch of lawn, a teacher screaming at him to get off a roof before he was killed, his best friends' faces, Ron & Hermione and with this last vision he reached further and touched a solid, square, heavy object. His bedside lamp. As he squeezed every last effort to get his fingers around the lamp his thumb brushed the push button that turned it on. Suddenly the room was awash with light. The creature groping at his face withdrew its claws, screeching and beating its limbs madly trying to get away. A roar was heard outside the room.

THAT RUDDY OWL!

The boy, Harry Potter reached for his glasses and put them on. Above him, beating her wings and hovering inches from his face was his faithful snowy owl, Hedwig.

Hedwig, Harry said. "What's the matter? Where is the ..." and then it dawned on him. Hedwig hated stormy nights. She was fearful of howling dogs and since her attack by Professor Umbridge in the spring, jumped at every curse she heard. Hedwig had tried to take refuge with Harry as he lay asleep on his bed. Now that he was sitting up she came to rest on his shoulder and pecked affectionately at his ear.

Harry listened to his uncle snort then fade to low grumbling until the sound ceased. He hoped Uncle Vernon had gone back to sleep for that is how he liked his relatives best. He dwelled on this as he stroked the soft feathers of his snowy owl. The Dursleys, his only living relatives were better asleep than awake. Awake, the Dursleys were a nightmare. He would rather face a curse and a Grim than ....

Harry went cold. Was it a dream? No! Hedwig wouldn't be so upset by one of his dreams. He touched the claw marks across his cheek and forehead, wiping the droplets of blood away. No he had definitely heard a grim howl ... and a curse ... right outside his open window.

Who from the wizarding world was pursuing him this time?

OK Ticker, finish it off. Urg

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Emily - Apr 6, 2004 9:13 pm (#100 of 384)

What is this thread about? This is WWNterviews still, right? Anyway... post 100!

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Ticker - Apr 7, 2004 5:14 pm (#101 of 384)

URG!!!!! Ugh! No wonder you never got a pay raise. You have to read your story in the microphone at WWNterviews studio if you want to be broadcast. (Er, at least I thought this was more of a "discussion" thread.)

Anyway, I take it that you've resolved your differences with the centaurs & am glad to see that you've come out from under your rock. (Er, make that I'm glad to hear it as you've always been a sight for sore eyes.) I thought the centaurs left the studio out of sheer boredom & large quantities of hate mail. You wouldn't know more about that would you?

I suggest you move your story before the "hour" is up & we run into a commercial or news break or something equally disturbing.

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 11, 2004 12:41 am (#102 of 384)

Well to tell you the truth, the beating I got was a bit deeper than first thought. While we were counter attacking and my mind was occupied I felt OK but then after so many failed attempts to oust the devils I stayed home for a few days and started hitting the flask. I lost it Ticker. My memory went. I had nightmares of being chased by gigantic unshod hooves. Things were looking pretty white there for a while. Short term memory loss was getting shorter and shorter and that's what ended up saving me. I couldn't find the flask.

Anyway. I feel like a new goblin. I decided I wasn't going to hide anymore. I was going to the studios and confront them. WWN is greater than me and if I had to sacrifice myself ... well, you know how it is coming off a binge. So I get there, the studios are empty, the place is a mess, but there's this overwhelming feeling of freedom in the air. I opened a window and howled into the night. I couldn't help myself. Next thing I know there's a clatter and a crashing on the stairs and this witch comes in. She's promised to help me get my life back in order and I feel I can trust her. Only thing is she hasn't got my name right yet but it's a start, Ticker. It's a start.

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Istari Jones - Apr 13, 2004 1:04 am (#103 of 384)

Urg!!! Welcome back! I missed your wonderful WNN contributions and the way you used to say, "Boss" all the time!

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 13, 2004 1:48 am (#104 of 384)

Boss? Boss? Where is the tyrant? If he's hiding out at the Disney site I'll be most offended.

I'll not be here every day. We're in a mad rush to get the other (the real?) radio station on air.hillfm.org if you want to check it out. Actually we're changing web site over so probably incomplete for a week.

So life is good. especially now the centaurs are gone.

Urg/Keith

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Pinky - Apr 13, 2004 3:45 am (#105 of 384)

Urg, it's good to see you again! I was so inspired by Madam Marsh's interview. What a lady!

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Emily - Apr 13, 2004 1:29 pm (#106 of 384)

Wow, Urg, LOL!

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Ticker - Apr 14, 2004 4:50 pm (#107 of 384)

Bwahhahahahaha! Urg, those interviews were truly enlightening! I had no idea about Madam Marsh. That explains a lot.

Hill FM sounds like a great & worthwhile adventure to be involved in. Best wishes in getting it up & running.

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Emily - Apr 16, 2004 8:07 pm (#108 of 384)

Urg, the world owes you for bringing to light the un-truth-ful-ness of the HP 'snake incident'. And I, for one, applaud you for being brave enough to actually go up to a muggle, and then talking to it. That's why I'm not in the liaison office. Ugh.

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Marè - Apr 16, 2004 9:19 pm (#109 of 384)

Urgh, I applaud you! That was too funny!

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Blast - Apr 17, 2004 12:59 am (#110 of 384)

Urg I wish that I had your talent. Very funny.

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Istari Jones - Apr 17, 2004 1:41 am (#111 of 384)

Urg, these were Brilliant!! Very, very creative! I'm so glad you're back. It's refreshing to read your stuff!! I can't wait to read more!

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 18, 2004 11:20 am (#112 of 384)

It is good to be back. It has been a tough winter generally and then trying to get the community radio station on air has taken most of my energy. But everything is falling into place. Life is good.

And now I'm back, seeing old friends, meeting some new. Hopefully Sam will return. He has a special place in my heart.

Urg

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Pinky - Apr 19, 2004 12:48 pm (#113 of 384)

Awesome interview. Loved the explanation of why the inter-office memo's came into being.

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 19, 2004 11:42 pm (#114 of 384)

thanks Pinky. without a boss giving me orders I'll have to do interviews rather than the chit chat back & forth sam & I got into & was so much fun. I hope Ticker & Istari kick in too. we could get the old spirit right back up there.

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 21, 2004 1:33 am (#115 of 384)

I did a Google search under Tyrant. Found Sam. He is alive and well.

Urg

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PyroGrl - Apr 21, 2004 1:48 am (#116 of 384)

He's been on AIM a few times, but I haven't talked to him.

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Istari Jones - Apr 22, 2004 5:31 pm (#117 of 384)

Gee, Urg, thanks for the nudge, but I don't know if I have you ability with dialogue. Your writing is terrific, I have more trouble with dialogue than anything else. But, if I come up with a good idea I'll try!!

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 22, 2004 7:36 pm (#118 of 384)
Edited by Apr 22, 2004 12:38 pm

Istari, my early ones were awful & I didn't post them. Once I settled into this wimpy goblin character it improved. The other thing I didn't do well was using characters from the books so mostly I choose people who are only referred to or never talk. No one knows what Madam Marsh talks like so my version is OK. Also there are characters never mentioned who must exist. Someone invented the office memos but we don't know who.

Another good thing I find is to bring up the unexpected. A very early one was of a ghost & before we found out which ghost the reader would have been thinking of all the important dead people. Suddenly we find it is Lavender Brown's pet rabbit that was eaten by the fox.

I've read the books over looking for these types of characters and there are lots. You have a good use of language and can tell a story. somehow you have to get the story out as though it was on radio. WWNterviews doesn't have to be dialogue. It could be just news reports.

I have faith in you.

Urg

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Marè - Apr 22, 2004 9:17 pm (#119 of 384)
Edited by Apr 22, 2004 2:17 pm

Go Istari! Go Istari! Go Istari!

:I'm doing this little dance that goes with the text here, but you can't see it, so you'll just have to believe me on my word!:



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Urg the Unclean - Apr 23, 2004 12:29 pm (#120 of 384)
Edited by Apr 23, 2004 5:30 am

And you! Give us an interview that's so unexpected we too will dance. You're very capable.

Urg

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Istari Jones - Apr 23, 2004 1:30 pm (#121 of 384)

OK! OK! When I have the time! (Grins!) I didn't submit to the last contest because I didn't have time or a good idea. I'll see if I can get something percolating............

(We'll be looking for something from you too, Mare!)

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Ticker - Apr 23, 2004 5:30 pm (#122 of 384)

Indeed! Nothing like a little competition for that enviable pay raise to inspire the reporters...

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Istari Jones - Apr 23, 2004 10:47 pm (#123 of 384)

We get paid? I thought this was like The Quibbler, where we just do it to see our names in print!

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 24, 2004 12:15 am (#124 of 384)

The pay doesn't amount to much I can tell you. After having to fork out for my own equipment (I might have been the only one who had to do this) and cover my expenses (I had to hitch a ride back from Little Whinging) and pay an entry fee for staff parties (again I might have been the odd man out. I suspect so.) I certainly didn't have enough for the trip to Isengard I'd planned. Had to spend a week in the 100 acre wood which luckily was dirt cheap.

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Pinky - Apr 27, 2004 12:13 pm (#125 of 384)

Oola's interview - too funny! And Sam is back, Sam is back! *happy dance*

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Marè - Apr 27, 2004 12:15 pm (#126 of 384)
Edited by Apr 27, 2004 5:16 am

Something tells me I should have kept my mouth shut....

Well currently it looks like there are more then enough contributors, and seeing how you want to keep your rates high to impress your newly refound Boss, I'll remain audience.
I promise you however, that I will carry with me a little taperecorder, so if I ever come across something highly unusual and interesting I can share it with you all!

And then I have a request for Sam (Hi Sam! :waves to Sam:) Please repost the Errol interview!!!! I always laugh myself to tears with that one!

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 27, 2004 5:05 pm (#127 of 384)

Oh! No. That sense of freedom was only temporary. Well, it was nice while it lasted. Welcome (sniff) back, Boss. I'm ready, willing but as you've often told me, not very able. (sigh)

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Emily - Apr 27, 2004 9:29 pm (#128 of 384)

Hi Sam!

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PyroGrl - Apr 28, 2004 2:41 am (#129 of 384)

SSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs* We missed you, DUDE!!!

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Denise P. - Apr 28, 2004 2:51 am (#130 of 384)

Sam! Good to see you back! Errol has missed you

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Istari Jones - Apr 28, 2004 3:01 am (#131 of 384)
Edited by Apr 27, 2004 8:02 pm

Urg, you should get a Pulitzer Prize for that last entry! It was SOOO funny! I laughed all the way through it! "Visitor to the Ministry of Magic..." And the scene where she's talking about cleaning the Prophecy Room. Absolutely Priceless!

And Sam!! SAM! SAMMY! SAM!! Welcome back! We missed your zany sense of humor a lot! (Gives Sam a rib-cracking hug!)

I need to tell you that Urg has done a magnificent job in your stead. As a result I feel he deserves a significant pay raise, his own broom parking spot, a gift certificate for the Hogsmeade HealthSpa and a case of Gilderoy Lockhart hair care products. And a title befitting his success and power.

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PyroGrl - Apr 28, 2004 3:23 am (#132 of 384)

Hey dude, I got the thing back up!! (sort of...OK, not really) Do I get a rise?

...

Do I get paid, even???

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Hem Hem - Apr 29, 2004 3:15 am (#133 of 384)
Edited by Apr 28, 2004 9:14 pm

Welcome back, Sam!

We've been ignoring dusting the "Errol is King Ward" diligently. If you get a chance, check out the last dozen or so posts of the original St Mungo's thread...they're kinda nostalgic posts....

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Istari Jones - Apr 29, 2004 11:55 am (#134 of 384)

(Yes, definitely Pyro, too. Sorry Pyro!)

And what I suggested to give to Urg, give to Pyro also, plus coupons for free bowling at Bowlin' Alley in London!

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 29, 2004 10:50 pm (#135 of 384)

I feel he deserves a significant pay raise, his own broom parking spot, a gift certificate for the Hogsmeade HealthSpa and a case of Gilderoy Lockhart hair care products. And a title befitting his success and power.

Sir Urg. Lord Urg. (hem) THE Urg. (ah no.) Nouveau Rich Urg. That I could live with. If I get a pay raise I'll be happy.

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 30, 2004 3:50 am (#136 of 384)

If it's a significant pay raise (and I mean cash, not sticks of celery) I'll share it with Pyro. Of course, if Pyro is addicted to celery I'll happily give all of it.

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PyroGrl - Apr 30, 2004 4:59 pm (#137 of 384)

No celery for me!! *points to braces* They break and you pay for them, dude.

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 30, 2004 10:37 pm (#138 of 384)

The Programs Director of WWN (I'll not mention his name) is such a tightwad that I wouldn't expect it to be very fresh celery. Probably the braces would survive.

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PyroGrl - Apr 30, 2004 10:42 pm (#139 of 384)

*raises eyebrows skeptically* Not fresh? Definitely won't eat it then!

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rettoP yrraH - May 3, 2004 3:52 am (#140 of 384)

There's peanut butter on it.

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Kip Carter - May 3, 2004 12:51 pm (#141 of 384)

Too, too much, Istari! RITFLMYFHO! A Democrat!?!

RITFLMFHO is "Rolling in the floor laughing my fool head off!", for those who do not know!

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megfox - May 3, 2004 1:03 pm (#142 of 384)

Istari, that was really funny. Thanks, I needed that!

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Istari Jones - May 3, 2004 1:07 pm (#143 of 384)

Thanks Meg! (Looks puzzled...) Now, wait a minute, Kip...you think it's funnier that I'm a Democrat than getting hit in the head with a newspaper full of owl droppings?!? Wow, you do have keen sense of humor!

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Marè - May 3, 2004 1:20 pm (#144 of 384)
Edited by May 3, 2004 6:20 am

:Applauds Istari:

Celery for Istari!!

PS Kip, How do you do that... rolling in the floor?

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Urg the Unclean - May 3, 2004 4:26 pm (#145 of 384)
Edited by May 3, 2004 9:28 am

Istari is our King. Istari is our King. She got attacked by a bin. Istari is our King

2 sticks of celery plus a whole jar of peanut butter.

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Anna Katarina - May 3, 2004 5:17 pm (#146 of 384)

...she got attacked by a bin... Classic!

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PyroGrl - May 3, 2004 10:16 pm (#147 of 384)
Edited by May 3, 2004 3:16 pm

A Yankee to boot!

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Istari Jones - May 4, 2004 2:05 am (#148 of 384)
Edited by May 3, 2004 7:08 pm

*Stubs toe bashfully in the ground*

Aww, shucks, folks! I thought I'd start with inanimate objects and progress up to more difficult things. Any suggestions for the next one?

Where's Sam, anywho? Is he on special assignment somewhere?

Say, Mare', what does that mean under your name?

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Urg the Unclean - May 4, 2004 2:33 am (#149 of 384)

Wow! I'd think inanimate objects would be the hardest. I mean, where do they keep their brains?

Suggestions? sounds like a writer's challenge to me. I had one: The Weasley's ghoul. Wrote four before I did one I liked.

How about one of the portraits? Fat Lady's friend. What goes on in that little chamber when school champs not meeting there? Or Dippet? How do old headmasters/mistresses get along when Dumbledore's ten pin bowling or at the opera?

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Marè - May 4, 2004 8:56 am (#150 of 384)
Edited by May 4, 2004 1:57 am

My second line of information you mean?
It refers to my forumname, Mare is latin for sea. I added the ' when these strange english talking folk () thought I associated myself with a female horse...
My second line of information is the word "sea" in several other languages. I even had it in chinese, but WX didn't let me put up the chinese symbol.

PS How about the portraits playing pin bowling?

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rettoP yrraH - May 5, 2004 8:22 pm (#151 of 384)

I hate TV kids shows...'specaly when they have an agenda or play old agendas...or clips from the 70's becuase they are too lazy to make new clips....

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Emily - May 5, 2004 8:48 pm (#152 of 384)

LOL Istari!

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Urg the Unclean - May 6, 2004 2:51 am (#153 of 384)

Wow! The Boss goes on location to what sounds like a Forbidden Forest Theme Park. I gotta check that. Hope he's not trying to spy on me like he used to. Docked me two hours once while I waited to have my recorder repaired.

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Istari Jones - May 6, 2004 3:54 am (#154 of 384)

Docked you 2 hours? What did he do? Leave you radishes instead of celery?

That's too funny Sam! (vote Nixon - sheesh!) But a big 10-4 on the purple dino attack!

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Ticker - May 6, 2004 3:33 pm (#155 of 384)

Bwahahahahaha! I come back to find more great interviews & SSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! Woo-hooo!

You mean we're s'posed to get celery? I've been working for parsley. Dang. I'm still trying to find the piece that will promote me to peanuts.

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Istari Jones - May 13, 2004 3:44 pm (#156 of 384)

ROTFLMFHO! Urg, that's brilliant! That'll be a classic! Different shades of purple (*Snort!*) And where can I get some of that chocolate? The itinerary of towns was really creative ("Missed her daughter's wedding") Very very funny, Urg!

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Urg the Unclean - May 13, 2004 9:29 pm (#157 of 384)

Thanks Istari. One of my 3am specials. Actually, it might be the only one I did at 3am. I guess I owe you one for the praise. Give me a subject & I'll write one dedicated to you.

Urg

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PyroGrl - May 29, 2004 9:35 pm (#158 of 384)

I love "Brother Bear"...lol. Rutt and Tuke's little brother discussion worked perfectly for this, and so did their commentary. LOL.

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Urg the Unclean - May 30, 2004 11:33 am (#159 of 384)

Pyro. You have the password to the Ravenclaw common room? Wow! you have connections.

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PyroGrl - May 30, 2004 8:31 pm (#160 of 384)

*evil grin* Don't I?

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Urg the Unclean - May 31, 2004 2:21 am (#161 of 384)

Brother Bear is on satellite. I'll try to see it if my 13 year old ever lets me near. He just got his brown belt in jujitsu so no point fighting him for the remote. He had me watching Blade Runner last night. Weird movie.

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Istari Jones - Jun 4, 2004 1:53 am (#162 of 384)

Hmmm, Urg...that Orange and Spice tea sounds a wee bit familiar...Doth I suspect a bit of parody on my behalf, or am I being too paranoid?

Ha! "totalled a hippogriff"...does that mean their insurance rates will go up???

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Urg the Unclean - Jun 5, 2004 2:13 am (#163 of 384)
Edited by Jun 4, 2004 7:20 pm

Istari,

most of it should be familiar. Not parody, just fun. I took a number of your great lines & rearranged them to see if I could form an interview from them. Ticker's next.

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Ticker - Jun 5, 2004 6:05 pm (#164 of 384)

I'm afraid they won't give me back my microphone for a while.

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Urg the Unclean - Jun 6, 2004 12:57 am (#165 of 384)

The swines! And here I've been thinking I'm the only one being kicked around. Now, if they'd only boost me to roving correspondent # 39.

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 1, 2004 3:27 am (#166 of 384)

Happy Canada day Pyro. Hope your family voted Green. Everybody else, happy whatever day you think it is.

Draco loves Ginny? He must have got off on those bat bogies. I hear people pay good money to be abused.

Ticker. I've cut & pasted some of your good lines. the trick is to create a situation to use them as a WWN interview. It's a good writing exercise. The one with Istari wasn't a big challenge as I already had Ron's side in my head wondering how to use it.

Urg

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Ticker - Jul 2, 2004 9:43 pm (#167 of 384)

<-- feels it's much too hot to exercise & runs after baby instead.





Urg - where do you find these poor blokes? I wonder if you could track down the poor soul who has to oil the gears on the spinning room? Or the inventor of the special duster used on the Arch of No Return (or whatever it's called)?

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 3, 2004 12:22 pm (#168 of 384)

They are out there living quiet lives in the shadows. It is so rewarding to bring them a moment of fame. Take Colonel Fubster now: the drudgery of puppy-sitting or puppy-drowning for Aunt Marge. It's appalling that after an active live clawing his way up through the military, a commander of men, he should be reduced to this. He needs to have one more moment of glory before he heads for the big battlefield in the sky. If WWN had a reason for interviewing him I'd be happy to take that assignment.

The author of Prefects Who Gained Power deserves a good talking to. Look what he/she did for Percy. Fresh out of school he becomes Special Assistant to the Minister.

The bartender of The Hog's Head could have some interesting stories if you could only get him to talk.

Oh! Well. I'll go wherever the Boss sends me.

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rettoP yrraH - Jul 5, 2004 6:02 am (#169 of 384)

Get these butts off the floor!

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Pinky - Jul 5, 2004 12:44 pm (#170 of 384)

Sam, loved that interview!

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rettoP yrraH - Jul 6, 2004 5:04 am (#171 of 384)

I thought it was rather lame...btw...Shloof in yiddish means Sleep or Snore

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Ticker - Jul 12, 2004 5:23 pm (#172 of 384)

Sam, Urg - nice job with the doctor. Sam, you did make sure Urg didn't eat him, right? Very funny, guys. And thanks for the yiddish lesson, Sam. I had no idea. I am definitely going to try & incorporate more shloof in my life from now on (minus the phone book).

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 13, 2004 12:05 am (#173 of 384)

OK Ticker. If I hear a loud rumbling shloof, I'll know it's not Dudley.

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rettoP yrraH - Jul 14, 2004 5:40 am (#174 of 384)

Idea of tour spawned loosley from driving with my older brother...who is learning how to drive.

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Ticker - Jul 14, 2004 11:43 am (#175 of 384)
Edited by Jul 14, 2004 4:44 am

I'm feeling a little queasy after that one Sam. Maybe your brother shouldn't drive, er maybe you shouldn't eat while he does.

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Pinky - Jul 14, 2004 10:30 pm (#176 of 384)

Loved it Sam! You haven't lost your touch. Under the bus is a former employee.... *heehee*

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Hem Hem - Jul 14, 2004 11:57 pm (#177 of 384)

The last post was really funny, Sam!

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 15, 2004 4:08 am (#178 of 384)

Yep! Classic Sam.

So Sam. driving with your brother, were you really ... er ... you know, out the back window?

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rettoP yrraH - Jul 15, 2004 4:36 am (#179 of 384)

Nope but my hand was on the bail button....

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Istari Jones - Jul 17, 2004 2:40 am (#180 of 384)

Sam, that's great! Reminds me of the last school trip I was on. So, were you using Urg as an airbag safety device, or what? Emergency brake?

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 17, 2004 3:30 am (#181 of 384)
Edited by Jul 16, 2004 8:31 pm

He told me there was no room for me inside and I had to ride underneath. Too late I realized there were 40 seats but only 34 people got off. He's always doing that. Kinda like Lucy always snatching the ball away when Charlie Brown goes to kick it. I'll learn one day.

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Istari Jones - Jul 17, 2004 4:40 am (#182 of 384)

So...,like....why didn't you ride on the roof instead?

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 17, 2004 12:19 pm (#183 of 384)

I'm obedient even if I'm not too bright,

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Istari Jones - Jul 18, 2004 2:42 am (#184 of 384)
Edited by Jul 17, 2004 7:43 pm

Ahhh! The mindless obedience of the mindless masses, or I guess that would be "mass" since there is only one of you! Hopefully you will get an increase in your celery for being so dedicated!

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rettoP yrraH - Jul 18, 2004 5:45 am (#185 of 384)

The said he wouldn’yt mind riding in steerage...so I let him.

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Ticker - Jul 18, 2004 10:24 pm (#186 of 384)

Oh dear, poor Urg. First the bus, then the gargoyles...

Did I just say that?

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 19, 2004 2:42 am (#187 of 384)

The gargoyles can wait. I'm busy translating the first five books into Aria speak.

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 19, 2004 2:53 am (#188 of 384)
Edited by Jul 18, 2004 7:58 pm

Keeper: What happened to your face? Urg: My good sir. There is absolutely nothing wrong with .... Keeper: Its all hairy and misshapen. Urg: It's ... sigh ... I have a part in a movie to go to as soon as we finish this interview so .... Keeper: My goodness but they do do a good job. It looks so real. I mean, that nose, off to the side like that. It's wonderful. Really wonderful.

er... ummm...

The real Urg - for the curious, http://www.hillfm.org/Keithannounce.php

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Ticker - Jul 19, 2004 4:48 am (#189 of 384)
Edited by Jul 18, 2004 9:49 pm

Awwww, shucks, Urg. Thanks! That should be interesting. Let's see... she knows da, la, ba, (squeeeeeeeeeeal), mmmmm, & raaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh (in best channelled pirate voice)!

Are you putting the trap set together on the left or the one doing the mike check (aka say whatever you want really loud while no one is listening)?

Edit: Errrr, lemme guess... Kiethannounce... hmmmmmm.

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 20, 2004 3:21 am (#190 of 384)

I knew we'd get there in the end Fudge to Bulgarian Minister.

There were 370 people around the stage & beer garden but I think you're right. No one was listening. We do another fund raiser 9/11 (the big day) another afternoon & evening live band show with BBQ in between. This will be another 20 hour day most likely so don't expect an Urg post on that day.

I was at a music festival a year ago and interviewed about 20 kids from 6 to 20 about Harry Potter. We all sat in a circle on the grass in the sun for 2 hours and just talked. Pretty neat time.

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rettoP yrraH - Jul 20, 2004 4:45 am (#191 of 384)

Wow your coolness went up another 100 points Kieth

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 20, 2004 2:35 pm (#192 of 384)

Cool? Well, I dunno. there are times I don't stand tall.

Last year for instance, my son, Kosha and I had gone to the camp ground washroom for our end of the day teeth brushing session. We had the place to ourselves and with towels around our necks were debating who'd had the responsibility of bringing the toothpaste. A full grown black bear ambled in. Kosha looked at it, said "Dad. Deal with that" and walked into one of the cubicles. I now had the opportunity to test one of my theories.

I always believed that bears had a certain 'joie de vivre', a 'je ne sais crois' so my intention was to retreat into a corner and start screaming to see if the bear would think "this is really not my trip" and go seek company elsewhere. Sadly, this was not a Quebec bear. I retreated, I screamed; the bear looked at me in astonishment, Kosha opened the door of the cubicle, looked at the bear, looked at me, said "Dad, are you all right?" and when I failed to answer he said to the bear "Go on. Out you go." With a look of deep disgust the bear left.

Kosha was only 13 so he didn't understand the finer points of research: the test model, the control model and all that, so his parting shot of "It was only a bear" as he retreated with a fresh roll of toilet paper made me feel that I hadn't encouraged a sense of value in scientific investigation. To top it off I was all the way back to the tent before I found the toothpaste in my breast pocket.

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Marè - Jul 20, 2004 3:10 pm (#193 of 384)

Okay...
I don't even know how to respond to this... I'm almost falling of my chair with laughter. I really wish we could hear the bear’s version of that tale!

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Ticker - Jul 20, 2004 5:14 pm (#194 of 384)

Oh my! To borrow a movie line, "Good thing we didn't panic." So much for scientific investigation. Fortunately you get to keep your cool points because you made it into a great story. (hee, hee, snort)

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 20, 2004 10:32 pm (#195 of 384)

I really wish we could hear the bear’s version of that tale!

It was a beautiful night. I was well fed, replete you might say, full of berries and good will. So I go for a goodnight stroll before settling in. I was passing the brick building where they have the water running sometimes, thought I may as well get a quick lick of the outside spigot when I heard voices inside. Sounded like a big human and its cub arguing over something and the cub was getting the better of it. Decided to check it out. Mistake! They have the lights so bright in those places.

Anyway, sure enough there was a human and a cub. The cub kind of smiles and goes into the box where they squat. His old man was just looking at me, big eyes, big mouth. Then he backs up and lets out a hideous scream. Sounded like a frog being eaten by a snake.

Now I've never understood humans too well. They are the very opposite of us bears. If we don't have berries and we see berries, we run toward the berries ... quietly. A human on the other hand, at least the ones I've stumbled across have the berries, scream, drop the berries, then run from the berries. So you can imagine that I found the behaviour of this human in the water room incomprehensible. The cub came out of its box, asked the big human if it was OK and told me I should maybe leave until things calmed down or something like that. It was all very distasteful so I went outside and sat under this big poplar trying to make sense of it all.

A little while later the big human came out and went down to his little flimsy den. Just as he got there I saw him take something off of his chest and heard him say 'Damn!' He then threw whatever it was into the den and shouted "KOSHA! YOU LEFT IT ON YOUR SLEEPING BAG."

I'm not sure I'll ever understand humans.

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PyroGrl - Jul 20, 2004 10:45 pm (#196 of 384)

**Ribs are aching from suppressed laughter**

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Istari Jones - Jul 21, 2004 3:18 am (#197 of 384)
Edited by Jul 20, 2004 8:19 pm

Let's see...

...bear - free

...community bathroom - free

...teenager at developmental age where Dad is just not quite as cool as he was when teenager was only 5 years old - free

...Dad considerately leaving teenager unparalleled memories of Dad's bravery to share with his own children - priceless

*Wipes tears of laughter from eyes*  Urg, that's the funniest thing I have read in a long, long while! ( Please, I really am not making fun of you. I quite intelligently locked my keys in the car with the car running at work last week. Yep. If you're gonna make a fool of yourself, go for it all the way!)

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rettoP yrraH - Jul 21, 2004 5:19 am (#198 of 384)

Moo

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Urg the Unclean - Jul 21, 2004 5:21 pm (#199 of 384)

Kosha just read this. His response:

If I met a really angry bear, I'd feel safer with you.

Me: Thanks Kosha. you reckon I can handle a bear?

Kosha: No. But while you were standing there paralysed with fright, I'd run. And when I heard you stop screaming, I'd run faster.

Damn kids!

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Ticker - Jul 21, 2004 11:35 pm (#200 of 384)

Awwww, how sweet. We all find our place in the food chain sooner or later. At least he knows you love him enough to be bear bait.

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Pinky - Jul 22, 2004 2:59 am (#201 of 384)

*dying with laughter*

Well, they say you don't have to run faster than the bear... just faster than the other person!

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Istari Jones - Jul 22, 2004 5:26 am (#202 of 384)

These posts are incredibly funny at 1:40 in the morning. I know it's off topic, but can any of you imagine giving a eulogy at a funeral for someone caught in this situation?

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rettoP yrraH - Aug 1, 2004 6:04 am (#203 of 384)

That was embarrassing to read...oh well... I lost my collection of WWN Interviews in the great scouring of the hard drive...good to see we have a loyal fan base.

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Urg the Unclean - Aug 2, 2004 6:15 am (#204 of 384)

Not embarrassing at all. It provoked muchos effort on other people's part. You's da boss.

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Ticker - Aug 6, 2004 11:19 pm (#205 of 384)

Oh, man... I love that Errol interview! Sam, I do hope you can find & wake him up for another informative piece.

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Urg the Unclean - Aug 7, 2004 1:21 am (#206 of 384)

Exactly! It's a hoot.

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Elfcat - Aug 18, 2004 6:38 pm (#207 of 384)

OMG, this is the funniest! Even the discussion thread rocks!! All hail the Mighty Urg, for he is hilarious! LOL, ROFLMFHO!!!

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Urg the Unclean - Aug 20, 2004 5:38 pm (#208 of 384)

Hmmmm. That is mightier than I deserve. Thanks tho' Elfcat. Sam's the Guru & whip cracking slave driver deserving most of the credit for getting this thread rocking. Expect the unexpected with him.

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Pinky - Aug 20, 2004 11:50 pm (#209 of 384)
Edited by Aug 20, 2004 4:51 pm

Brilliant! That is too incredibly funny! This should go down as one of the WWW classics for sure.

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Ticker - Aug 21, 2004 4:27 am (#210 of 384)

Bwahahahahahaha.. heh, heh! Great job Urg! So that's a jerkin you're wearing? I had no idea.

That reminds me.. I was feeding Aria tonight while hubby watched the Olympics & I heard them announce the Dining competition. I swear that's what they said... though why it was so difficult last year for the girl with a broken foot I can't figure...

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Urg the Unclean - Aug 21, 2004 12:16 pm (#211 of 384)

Goblins can dine on broken feet. Maybe she should have had the salad.

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Pinky - Aug 22, 2004 3:00 am (#212 of 384)

I can't stand it either!!! Jobblin, kobblin, lobblin....

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rettoP yrraH - Aug 22, 2004 7:17 am (#213 of 384)

Very good!

On Olympics, there was great article saying that Fencing should be renamed Sword Fighting or Swashbuckling. And that Fencing sounds like classes at the Home Depot.

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Urg the Unclean - Aug 22, 2004 10:18 am (#214 of 384)

touche

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Ticker - Aug 23, 2004 3:17 am (#215 of 384)

Arrrrrrrrr, Sam! Good point.

Urg, that must have been some shaving accident to cause your limp. Good thing Curiosity only kills cats. Hmm, hmmm. A limeric for Curious Urg:

There once was a gobblin

Who went along hobblin'

From the witch in the pointy black hat.

He would not be cobblin'

Or always a-grovelin'

Had he simply not eaten her cat.

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Urg the Unclean - Aug 23, 2004 11:32 am (#216 of 384)

How did you know about the cat? That happened off microphone.

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PyroGrl - Aug 29, 2004 4:59 am (#217 of 384)

It's a good thing I wasn't eating or drinking anything when I (FINALLY!) read your last interview. Unfortunately it was one in the morning and I woke up my parents who gave me a severe lecture on staying up too late.

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Elfcat - Aug 30, 2004 9:42 pm (#218 of 384)

I know that feeling, Pyro.

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Urg the Unclean - Sep 1, 2004 2:54 am (#219 of 384)

How can anybody on the HPL FanFiction be up too late?

Read them the part from Dumbledore's speech where he says it's wrong for the old to forget what it's like to be young.

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Urg the Unclean - Sep 1, 2004 3:02 am (#220 of 384)

that must have been some shaving accident to cause your limp

It was that bloody Verona Pike backstage at the Weird Sisters' concert.

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Ticker - Sep 3, 2004 3:28 am (#221 of 384)
Edited by Sep 2, 2004 8:35 pm

Look Urg, what you & Veronica Pike do backstage while shaving is not my business, I'm sure...

Er, Boss... I heard roumors you might be re-starting the blackmail business. Well, have I got some interesting news for you...

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 6, 2004 4:55 am (#222 of 384)

Urg you’re using a megaphone next time...

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Ticker - Sep 6, 2004 4:18 pm (#223 of 384)

Gee, can I get a megaphone, Boss? I could really get into indiscriminate broadcasting.

(Dreams about using megaphone on Knight Bus: ... "HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME, YOU'RE ONLY 4 FEET AWAY. I SAY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GIVE AN INTERVIEW WITH ME FOR WWN? YEAH, YOU COULD SAY I'M A STAR REPORTER...)

Boss, whadda ya say?

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Ticker - Sep 6, 2004 6:24 pm (#224 of 384)

Wow, Sam! You found your feather duster, I mean, Errol again! Way to go!

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 7, 2004 3:03 am (#225 of 384)

Urg is still hacking it up....

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Urg the Unclean - Sep 7, 2004 10:46 am (#226 of 384)

When you said you were keeping your hand in I didn't think you were going to use a puppet.

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 7, 2004 4:59 pm (#227 of 384)

You're lucky I wasn’t playing Capt' Hook...

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Urg the Unclean - Sep 7, 2004 6:12 pm (#228 of 384)

ROTCDTTMUSM (rolling on the computer desk trying to mop up spilt milk)

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Elfcat - Sep 7, 2004 10:42 pm (#229 of 384)

That's one heck of an abbreviation, Urg. Lucky I don't have any milk with me or I'd be doing the same. ;-)

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 8, 2004 3:50 am (#230 of 384)

Rollover boy! no, not in the milk....

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Urg the Unclean - Sep 9, 2004 1:44 am (#231 of 384)
Edited by Sep 8, 2004 6:45 pm

Ah! A new delivery. Celery, somewhat wilted. Hmmm. Peanut butter, no jam. Hmmm. Free tickets to the Hobgoblins revival concert. BUT NO MEGAPHONES! WHEN DO TICKER & I GET OUR MEGAPHONES?

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PyroGrl - Sep 9, 2004 2:00 am (#232 of 384)

When do I get mine?

Hey Boss, I just got a letter stating that WWNterviews are not permitted in Hogwarts castle because of stress towards students *coughCHANGcough*. What will we do now???

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 9, 2004 5:43 am (#233 of 384)

Keep sending the broadcasts that way, the kids'll hear them if they want.

Hey Urg, get a stack of free ones from WitchWay Airways, they give out free headphones in first class...

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Urg the Unclean - Sep 9, 2004 9:54 am (#234 of 384)

Haven't flown Witch Way since they started pushing the vegetarian meals.

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 9, 2004 4:37 pm (#235 of 384)

For the last time, The Pilots and Crew are not for snack! Chicken IS meat you dolt!

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Urg the Unclean - Sep 9, 2004 7:42 pm (#236 of 384)

If God didn't intend us to eat the pilots why did he make them out of meat?

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Pinky - Sep 10, 2004 12:39 am (#237 of 384)

Can't...breathe...too...funny.....

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 10, 2004 4:30 am (#238 of 384)

What're they supposed to fly with? toothpicks?

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Ticker - Sep 12, 2004 8:13 pm (#239 of 384)

(Joins Kieth in ROTCDTTMUSM... Man, you guys are too funny!) Toothpicks... ha, ha.. Urg could use a few of those too.

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Elfcat - Sep 14, 2004 11:26 pm (#240 of 384)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.......ahahahahahahahaha!

*gasp* *pantpant* okay! This idea has been buzzing around in my head and it's driving me SANE!!! Any one can give an interview, right?

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 15, 2004 2:40 am (#241 of 384)

Yes, 'cept for Jabberknoles....and clams. Clams cannot give interviews! They have to clean the fish tank...

and your lawnchair was right in middle of the passing lane Elfcat...

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Elfcat - Sep 17, 2004 12:34 am (#242 of 384)

Eh? Does that mean you smushed it?

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Ticker - Sep 18, 2004 10:07 pm (#243 of 384)

Elfcat - some helpful suggestions in working at WWN:

1 - Leave the feather duster alone. It's survived this long with Urg around & the Boss is rather attached to it.

2 - Don't have tea on the patio. We've lost a lot of perfectly good lawn furniture (& customers) that way.

and 3 - Automatic translation spells never work for French. (Snort - duck in your elevator - too funny!)

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Urg the Unclean - Sep 18, 2004 10:59 pm (#244 of 384)

And 4 - Don't eat peanut butter right before an interview.

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Ticker - Sep 20, 2004 3:08 pm (#245 of 384)

Urg, I didn't know you ever ate peanut butter.

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Urg the Unclean - Sep 21, 2004 1:20 am (#246 of 384)

Once in a while spread on old, tasteless groundhog

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rettoP yrraH - Sep 21, 2004 2:31 am (#247 of 384)

Chunchy or creamy?

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Urg the Unclean - Sep 21, 2004 7:47 pm (#248 of 384)

Crunchy on the old fat ones. Creamy on the old skinny ones.

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Ticker - Sep 24, 2004 4:03 am (#249 of 384)

I won't look at Jif the same again.

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Ticker - Oct 1, 2004 2:34 pm (#250 of 384)

(Hee, hee. Snort.) Ah, Urg. No one has luck like you. (Giggle.) Here's a quill & parchment. You do know how to write, don't you? (Snicker... -turns away- Hahahahahahahahaha...)

------------

(Kieth, you brighten my day again & again. You have a marvelous sense of timing. Thank you.)

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 3, 2004 6:50 pm (#251 of 384)

Good old Blast. There is someone else who has my luck. good one.

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Pigwidgeon - Oct 6, 2004 2:38 am (#252 of 384)

I am so glad I swallowed my apple juice, or it would be covering my computer screen now. I had tears rolling down my face!!! Wow, awesome comic writing!

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 7, 2004 1:44 am (#253 of 384)

I've just remembered who Kettleburn was. Now I'm laughing twice as hard.

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 8, 2004 11:32 pm (#254 of 384)

OOPS! In the Fleur interview, Fleur was to have made a mistake wiz 'er Eenglish ... but not me. Line should read (sound of flouncing footsteps)

Ticker. You haven't reported baby's new words lately. Can she say 'microwave oven' yet?

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Elfcat - May 8, 2003 6:11 am (#255 of 384)
Edited by Oct 11, 2004 3:34 pm

*Laughing head off at new interviews* Dang, you guys are funny. One thing though: a French accent is more likely to cause the word "Meestair" than "Meesta". Unless you're form France, trust me. I lived there for a while. If you live there, ignore me.

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 11, 2004 10:36 pm (#256 of 384)

Thanks for the suggestion seestair

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Elfcat - Oct 11, 2004 10:41 pm (#257 of 384)

No problem, mon frere. (crap, it's been too long, can't spell!)

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Sabotage - Oct 11, 2004 11:10 pm (#258 of 384)

I'm laughing with my self!!!! He he! Who was Kettleburn? I haven't read the books for so long... Hmmm... that gives me an idea... I've gotta go to Hogwarts y'al!

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Blast - Oct 12, 2004 9:41 am (#259 of 384)

Urg was using the Quebecquois accent.

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 13, 2004 3:16 am (#260 of 384)

Just got a speedeen tiquette driving back from Montreal. Only $52.50 lucky moi.

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Blast - Oct 13, 2004 10:15 am (#261 of 384)

It is funny Urg, I once got a ride with someone on the Queen Elisabeth Way. As we almost broke the sound barrier on our trip, the person just explained her driving as “I'm from Montreal.”

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 13, 2004 12:19 pm (#262 of 384)

The few times I headed for Niagra on the QE the traffic was so heavy I couldn't get near the speed limit. I'm soon going to split my time between my current boondock hideaway & Toronto so maybe I'll have more chances at the sound barrier.

K

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Ticker - Oct 18, 2004 3:08 am (#263 of 384)

Why is it when you'd like to have your car totalled, no one cooperates? We just got back from a big ol' road trip across Wyoming & do you think we could hit a deer, or at least an antelope? Urg, what is your secret? I mean, you've clearly run into a few deer in your time. Well, not that it shows but... Man, I hate my car. It's easier hating it than hating being too cheap to get another one.

Ticker. You haven't reported baby's new words lately. Can she say 'microwave oven' yet?[

The newest is "uh-oh". Much nicer than "no", though I anticipate she'll pick that up soon enough. We're still working on "spark controlled computer of an electronic lean burn system". Just a few more syllables to go!

Fabulous interviews Blast! You never fail to make me laugh.

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rettoP yrraH - Oct 18, 2004 4:56 am (#264 of 384)

THE BLACK ADDER! Wow! I thought I was the only fan of that show that still tries to get copies of it off of...err never mind

Would you like some 'wine'?

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 18, 2004 9:02 pm (#265 of 384)

Urg, what is your secret? I mean, you've clearly run into a few deer in your time.

Just before last Xmas Kosha & I were coming home after dusk & saw a handsome stag on the shoulder of the road. It rears up, perfectly vertical on its hind legs. Magnificent.

Keith: There's a deer.

Stag then leans away from the road and flooows down the slope toward the valley where we live. We look right and see a doe waiting for him.

Keith: There's two deer.

You should never take your eyes off the road. BANG!We almost hit the wind shield.

Kosha: There's three deer.

Luckily we were in the old '89 Safari & the bumper took the worst of it. We threw the corpse in the back & took it home for our old shepherd. He guarded it for days until an immature eagle came & took the best parts then a wolf came & took the hind end. We have both on film. The dog barked at the eagle but not at the wolf.

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Ticker - Oct 19, 2004 12:56 am (#266 of 384)
Edited by Oct 18, 2004 6:05 pm

Wow! I thought our little nature experiment with a black widow & a wasp in a jar was exciting.

(Actually, there is a bit more drama when I add that the spider was found inches away from where I left Aria to play the day before.)

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 19, 2004 11:29 am (#267 of 384)

Never seen a Black Widow. That is exciting. I like unusual things. Have film of a snake eating another snake. Pity I didn't catch the actual strike as the film could be worth a few bucks. Still, the eater wasn't much bigger than the eatee & it was amazing to see it suck everything in. They must be 9/10 stomache.

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 19, 2004 11:30 pm (#268 of 384)

You’re lucky Glenda didn't get the stick as part of the settlement

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Ticker - Oct 20, 2004 1:15 am (#269 of 384)

Congratulations Sabby on your, er promotion... I think. Way to keep us all guessing! By the way, which way is it to the tennis courts?

Wow, Blast - you are older than dirt. The Binns incident? Too funny! You weren't caught high-sticking a professor were you?

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 20, 2004 3:42 am (#270 of 384)

Where's the Boss? Hope he wasn't giving his brother another driving lesson. Didn't sound like he'd survive too many of those.

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rettoP yrraH - Oct 20, 2004 3:56 am (#271 of 384)

Err. . . . . I gave my other brother a driving lesson...the younger one. I'm waiting for my hair to change back.

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Ticker - Oct 20, 2004 2:05 pm (#272 of 384)

Prematurely gray? Have I got a product for you! It took the hair right off my dog. You'll never have to worry about your "do" again. Unfortunately it doesn't improve anyone's chances at surviving driving lessons. Good luck.

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 20, 2004 4:52 pm (#273 of 384)

Harry Potter's hair sticks up at the back and he only thought he'd been in a car accident.

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Blast - Oct 21, 2004 2:32 am (#274 of 384)

Ishtari your story brings back fond memories of lifting the lid from a septic tank. A willow tree root had grown through it and blocked the exit and with the added pressure, I guess that Newton was right. It looked like I had a bad case of Slpattergoit.

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Pigwidgeon - Oct 21, 2004 4:06 am (#275 of 384)

Istari!!!

Great to see you back in action, and in rare form I might add! Hee hee hee, I needed the laugh, the way this week has been going.

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Istari Jones - Oct 21, 2004 6:56 am (#276 of 384)

My life this summer has kinda gone the way of the septic tank also! Boy it's great to be back. So many fanfics, so little time! My stupid computer keeps kicking me off the internet and downloads very s-l-o-w-l-y at times so it's been frustrating trying to be here with you all again. I 've missed you all very much!

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Ticker - Oct 21, 2004 6:19 pm (#277 of 384)
Edited by Oct 21, 2004 11:20 am

Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo! (Does the happy dance in front of her computer at seeing Istari back... definitely not to be confused with the pee-pee dance... YIKES! My life is starting to resemble a day care.) Oh wow! That was very funny, Istari. (Smiles in a dignified grown-up sort of way...)

It also helps me decide to not follow Urg's advise in getting an interview the local meat packing plant. I don't care if they have had reports of a horklump infestation. Just because they won't let Urg in anymore, is no reason to subject my nose to that.

Er, sorry Istari... it's good to see you & all, but I have to go somewhere, erm, farther away...

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Istari Jones - Oct 21, 2004 6:28 pm (#278 of 384)

Please, it's not my breath, is it? I do not mean to offend...

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Ticker - Oct 21, 2004 6:33 pm (#279 of 384)

You came straight here after your interview, did you?

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 22, 2004 12:52 am (#280 of 384)

that's coming back with a vengeance. pro-li-fic. I.J. whereyoubin?

Bethnal Green is a borough of London notorious along with Hoxton through the 50s & 60s as hotbeds of criminal activity.

Glad you & Ticker are getting along OK

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Istari Jones - Oct 22, 2004 12:54 am (#281 of 384)

Thanks, Urg. Talk to you all some more after I've had a shower. Anyone have any industrial strength odor eaters?

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Elfcat - Oct 22, 2004 1:30 am (#282 of 384)

* laughs out loud for the whole ten minutes it takes her to catch up*

I swear this is the only thread funnier than St. Mungo's. Blast's avatar alone is enough to make me giggle under my breath (note to self: watch a full episode of Blackadder)

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 27, 2004 3:18 am (#283 of 384)
Edited by Oct 26, 2004 8:19 pm

I come back from a wicked weekend in Toronto and there is more, more, MORE!

Very well done Istari. Mixing your anis with the inanis now. Sad about losing the Pullitzer. Have Severus mix you the same potion he made for himself when he missed The Order of Merlin. Two flagons should suffice.

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Istari Jones - Oct 27, 2004 3:44 am (#284 of 384)

Yeah, I guess I misseed out on my 15 minutes of fame, huh?

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Istari Jones - Oct 27, 2004 11:44 am (#285 of 384)
Edited by Oct 27, 2004 4:52 am

Blast, the Witch Weekly Awards idea is absolutely brilliant! Look at all the opportunities for "interviews" here. Oh, what a goldmine you have sitting in front of you! Can't wait to see what else you come up with. How about an interview with Alberforth and Rosmerta? How did he talk her into going with him? maybe she just liked his new cologne, Eau de Goat?

Urg: Anis? Ooo, yippee! A new word to look up! Anis: a variety of anisette made esp. in Spain and Latin America. Anisette: a cordial or liquer flavored with aniseed. Whew! For a moment I thought your were referring to my anis vs. my Uranis... (

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Blast - Oct 27, 2004 5:18 pm (#286 of 384)

Thanks kids, I had a nasty fall this morning maybe it will shake out some ideas.

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 27, 2004 7:15 pm (#287 of 384)

anis: (noun) derived from lazy gobbledgook, shortened form of 'animate objects'.(antonym) inanis. shortened form of 'inanimate objects'.

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Blast - Oct 27, 2004 7:47 pm (#288 of 384)

My wife was shopping one time, when the person in front had purchased some anis. The clerk did not know the price and yelled to the back of the store how much is the anis only it was misspronounced. It is funny how a little mistake in saying something can completely bring a different and funny meaning to something.

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Istari Jones - Oct 28, 2004 1:25 am (#289 of 384)

Unlike here, where we do it intentionally....

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 28, 2004 2:25 am (#290 of 384)

Blast, you've really got a good series going. Clever idea.

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rettoP yrraH - Oct 28, 2004 3:54 am (#291 of 384)

<<>>

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Istari Jones - Oct 28, 2004 1:32 pm (#292 of 384)

*Crosses arms and taps foot harshly*  Ok, Blast, so just what are you doing horning in on my territory? The Boss has me covering trash bins, you know. ^_^

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 28, 2004 11:09 pm (#293 of 384)

Great dialogue! So much for only handling inanimate objects. Next thing you'll be slapping Draco's face.

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Istari Jones - Oct 28, 2004 11:46 pm (#294 of 384)

(Thanks, but mostly for the encouragement you all have given me!)

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 29, 2004 10:46 pm (#295 of 384)

It is a giving kind of a place isn't it? So many wonderful people here.

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Emily - Oct 30, 2004 12:13 am (#296 of 384)

Hey, great interviews, guys! I wish someone really would talk to Fudge like that.

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Urg the Unclean - Nov 1, 2004 2:46 am (#297 of 384)

Beautithul. Blatht, you really have got thomething good going.

(Urg trots off to cover the back door as the boss wants us to cover the gate crashers)

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Istari Jones - Nov 2, 2004 2:02 am (#298 of 384)

Cover the gate crashers...with what? Towels? Blankets?

OK, Sam...I mean "Buttons". Where are you, Sam? Yoo Hoo!

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Urg the Unclean - Nov 2, 2004 11:57 am (#299 of 384)

bat bogies

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Istari Jones - Nov 4, 2004 12:47 am (#300 of 384)

It's not even your own hair. It looks like a shoe brush. I can see the straps under your chin. Oh my goodness! "Scared the Bemerlin out of me." "...T for surreptitiousness..." Oh, that's too funny! So witty! I bow to the master, Urg!

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archivist's note:  Posts 301-303 were missing when this thread was archived.

Istari Jones - Nov 5, 2004 4:06 am (#304 of 384)

Nicely said, Urg. It's kinda neat how the characters take on a life of their own and seem to write themselves.

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Ticker - Nov 5, 2004 5:49 pm (#305 of 384)

Oh man! What a great bunch of laughs! I can barely contain myself!

*Crosses legs & does a shuffling run to the toilet...*

HAHAHAHAHAhahahahahhahahahahah............whew! Hahahaha!

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Urg the Unclean - Nov 5, 2004 10:25 pm (#306 of 384)

Damn Ticker. I was going to put the shuffling run in my next interview.

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Pinky - Nov 6, 2004 2:22 am (#307 of 384)

I just read 12 interviews in a row. Istari, the first garbage bin scene with the lid hitting Lord V., was brilliant. I loved it! Very creative and well-written. All the other posts were great too, but I laughed at that one the most.

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Urg the Unclean - Nov 6, 2004 3:00 am (#308 of 384)

You read 12 in a row and was still able to type? Wow!

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Istari Jones - Nov 7, 2004 4:13 am (#309 of 384)
Edited by Nov 6, 2004 8:13 pm

She read all twelve in a round and is still able to think? Double wow!

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Ticker - Nov 10, 2004 4:11 pm (#310 of 384)
Edited by Nov 10, 2004 8:24 am

(Snicker, hee, hee...) I barely type & rarely think & never read 12 interviews in a row. Hats off to you Pinky! (If I could just get my eyebrows unstuck from this one...)

Kieth, I don't have the corner toilet. I mean, the corner on shuffling toilet runs. Istari has toilets down pretty well & Urg certainly ends up running quite a bit. I can't even shuffle cards properly, so if you want the shuffle, it's yours.

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rettoP yrraH - Nov 15, 2004 5:58 am (#311 of 384)

FYI Sam is Sam.

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Ticker - Nov 16, 2004 10:45 pm (#312 of 384)
Edited by Nov 16, 2004 2:55 pm

There he is Istari! - (Better luck this time.)

Urg, how do you manage it? To get an interview, but never what you expected... ah the beauty of live radio. Way to flow with the pushes & shoves (er, whatever you flow with)

Thanks Kieth! Another fabulous interview! Well worth the wait.

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Elfcat - Nov 17, 2004 1:58 am (#313 of 384)

Dang kids always messing things up...

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Urg the Unclean - Nov 20, 2004 11:49 am (#314 of 384)

Where is everybody? Blast had such a great series going. I was getting recharged everytime I saw a new one.

*Urg trots off to the missing persons bureau.*

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Ticker - Nov 21, 2004 11:10 pm (#315 of 384)

Urg, don't they have your face on a poster down there since your last, erm, interview with a centaur?

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Urg the Unclean - Nov 22, 2004 12:05 am (#316 of 384)

Had liposuction on both cheeks. I'm confidant I'll go unnoticed.

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Ticker - Nov 22, 2004 5:55 pm (#317 of 384)

Oh! I thought you had just been sucking lemons. Who ever heard of a goblin doing that? Great disguise!

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Urg the Unclean - Nov 22, 2004 10:50 pm (#318 of 384)

Twas a question of survival. Also Bratta the Silky said she liked slim men.

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Elfcat - Nov 30, 2004 11:35 pm (#319 of 384)

I'm around. Not frequently, though.

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Urg the Unclean - Dec 1, 2004 12:09 am (#320 of 384)

I've just moved to Toronto, so out of the boonies where you would never have found me. I'm happy to meet any of you if you are in town.

Keith/Urg

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PyroGrl - Dec 1, 2004 12:26 am (#321 of 384)

I've never actually visited Toronto. Driven through it to get to Niagara Falls, though...it was interesting.

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Urg the Unclean - Dec 2, 2004 11:13 pm (#322 of 384)

You're in Alberta if I remember rightly. I lived in Edmonton ages ago. Before THE mall. hope all is well with you. Enjoying your creations as you fire them out.

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Ticker - Dec 21, 2004 5:54 am (#323 of 384)
Edited by Dec 20, 2004 9:55 pm

Oh! Bravo!! Bravo!!! Just the thing for the holidays - another fabulous Urg Interview! Thank you Kieth! The banana peel was a nice touch. I never thought of the Archway as a means of weeding out inept employees before. Hmmmmmmm.... Good thing we don't have one at the station.

Urg, it's so fortunate that someone on the other side whispers sweet songs to you. I can't believe you weren't strangely drawn to it. I hear most people have a hard time leaving that room. Crumb's secretary said you blazed out of there with your hands clamped to your ears muttering, "You can't make me sing along... No! I won't do it..." Ah, well - no accounting for taste.

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rettoP yrraH - Jan 5, 2005 6:00 am (#324 of 384)

Well guys,

I'm heading to school in Israel tommorow. You've all been a great bunch of guys, I really have to single Keith out though.

Urg keep on writing, what more can I say?

I'll try to check up on here once in a while from school, otherwise

Thanks all of you

Sam M.

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Pinky - Jan 5, 2005 12:46 pm (#325 of 384)

Sam, wave to Jackie (Hem Hem) while you're there. She's in Israel right now, too! Be sure to check in when you can. We'll miss you.

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Urg the Unclean - Jan 6, 2005 2:43 am (#326 of 384)

Good job this is the WORLD WIDE web.

You'll be in my heart until I die my friend. Best wishes for school.

Keith

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Ticker - Jan 7, 2005 4:56 am (#327 of 384)

Wow, Sam! That will be an amazing two Knut experience. May all go well for you & shalom.

So, er... about those pay raises... ???

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Ticker - Jan 31, 2005 1:51 am (#328 of 384)

*Wanders tentatively down very dark WWN hallway...*

Criminy! Where did all these mice & spiders come from?! No feather duster & no perpetually hungry goblin... Urg must still be dieting for Bratta the Silky.

*Sees mice playing something that resembles quidditch...*

Wow. I guess that old saying is true.

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Urg the Unclean - Feb 2, 2005 4:59 am (#329 of 384)

You trickster. I don't see one mouse nor an eensy teensy spider's leg. (stomache rumbles)

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Ticker - Feb 4, 2005 3:47 pm (#330 of 384)

Apparently they saw you first.

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Urg the Unclean - Feb 6, 2005 10:37 pm (#331 of 384)

Ticker, that's a wonderful interview with the Puxatawnee KB Rabbit. I would love to ... er... accompany you on any follow up interview you may do. I could ... er ... (stomache rumbles) hold your camera for you and you could use this tripod I cleverly made out of this camping cutlery set I found. (sigh) Would sure love to meet the rabbit.

Urg

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Ticker - Feb 7, 2005 4:21 am (#332 of 384)

Thank you. You know, Urg, you may have been the perfect one for that particular job. Rats! Why didn't I think of that before I accepted the Scooby snacks? Ooops... didn't mean to make all those food references - sorry.

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Urg the Unclean - Feb 8, 2005 2:32 am (#333 of 384)

BTW. My relationship with Bratta The Silky is struggling. She invited me to what she said was a fancy dress party last week. I don't know if you've ever sat in a corner all evening dressed as a unicorn with every one else in their leathers and chains while your loved one is laughing with a whole gang of guys at the bar but I can tell you it is not encouraging. There was a lot of sneering and snide remarks which tested my inner strength almost to the limit. I'm hoping she will recognize this and conclude I'm the best one for her.

Urg

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Ticker - Feb 8, 2005 9:54 pm (#334 of 384)

Oh, Urg! How could you doubt that you are the one with the most, er, I mean, best character? That's a pretty rough date though. I wonder if you see more in her than she... um,... has. Good luck anyway.

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Urg the Unclean - Feb 9, 2005 11:32 pm (#335 of 384)

She's a goblin's dream. Her name says it all.

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Pinky - Feb 12, 2005 9:15 pm (#336 of 384)
Edited by Feb 12, 2005 7:43 pm

Ticker, I admire your bravery, your gumption, your... er... your sheer stupidity and luck! You've actually entered the KBR's lair and lived to talk. Wow. Amazing interview. One bit of advice though... check that picture you took. Did you actually take the KBR's shadow? I'd hate the KBR to start missing his shadow and come after it a la Peter Pan....

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Ticker - Feb 16, 2005 6:18 pm (#337 of 384)

Oh dear... Maybe I'll go paint over the attic's windows.

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Ticker - Mar 15, 2005 2:53 am (#338 of 384)

Urg, what do you mean by ordering 4 boxes of girl scouts?!?!?

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Urg the Unclean - Mar 16, 2005 12:20 am (#339 of 384)

I thought they'd see me through Easter. Should I have ordered more?

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Emily - Mar 17, 2005 9:50 pm (#340 of 384)
Edited by Mar 17, 2005 1:50 pm

Speaking as a Girls Scout, yes. You can always use more. Although maybe not the Scouts themselves, just the cookies.

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Urg the Unclean - Mar 20, 2005 11:06 pm (#341 of 384)

Now we're talking. A banquet!

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Ticker - Mar 22, 2005 2:35 am (#342 of 384)
Edited by Mar 21, 2005 6:43 pm

Urg, at least wipe the drool off your chin when speaking with Emily. I know it may be hard for you to hear but she is not dinner.

Or dessert.

Quit smacking your lips, I mean it. (Practices her "You picked the wrong day to mess with mommy" look... I've been working on this one. The haggard, sleep-deprived, edgy look has lost it's effectiveness.)

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Urg the Unclean - Mar 23, 2005 2:57 am (#343 of 384)

Girl guides for roasting.

Mummies for soup.

It's time for another interview. Submissions on the forum have been very light in every thread for ages. Even St. M's has tailed off.

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Emily - Mar 23, 2005 3:33 pm (#344 of 384)

Hey, Ticker is right! I am NOT food!

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Elfcat - Mar 23, 2005 5:58 pm (#345 of 384)

Urg, you are not allowed to complain that no one posts at St. M's if you don't either. Now would be a fine time to join, We're on our way to Disney World on the Rubber duck. Just don't eat the inmates. (or the disney characters, for that matter)

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Urg the Unclean - Mar 24, 2005 10:48 pm (#346 of 384)

Mmmmmn. Seven course dinner: Happy, Grumpy, Doc ... Mmmmmn

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Pinky - Apr 2, 2005 3:29 am (#347 of 384)

Urg, your last interview was great! I think it should definitely assure you a permanent post at the radio station. Crookshank's responses to your questions were positively brilliant.

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 4, 2005 3:08 am (#348 of 384)

He's a smart little devil, I'll admit.

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Ticker - Apr 18, 2005 4:41 pm (#349 of 384)

Nice job with the cat Urg! I'm always amazed by what you come up with. Er... .. . . Is that a hairball on your foot?

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Urg the Unclean - Apr 22, 2005 3:25 am (#350 of 384)

No. Just my foot.

Thanks Ticker. Hope all is well & family "growing".[/b][/size]

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Ticker - Oct 13, 2005 2:33 am (#351 of 384)
Edited by Oct 12, 2005 7:49 pm

Wow, Urg! That was enlightening. You got a real scoop that time. I always appreciate how far out of your element you are able to step for the sake of an interview.

It is a pleasure to hear your raspy voice on the airways again. Thanks again for another unsurpassed interview.

Oh, & by the way, family is growing. Aria is almost 2 & I just found out she's going to be a big sister. (Pardon me while I erp into my trash can...) I think I'm really going to enjoy Aria at two - she's just finished a 1/2 hour screaming fit over a sticker that lost it's stickiness. It's such a cruel world. I almost hate to bring another little person into it. Almost.

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 14, 2005 1:16 am (#352 of 384)

Ticker. Ticker, Ticker, Ticker. I'll send a signed copy of my new book, Muddling with Mothers.

Perhaps Aria will be a real mother's helper when #2 arrives. You might get to put your feet up or even have a little screaming fit yourself. Congratulations. It's good news.

Keith

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Marie E. - Oct 21, 2005 11:28 pm (#353 of 384)

Hilarious as always Urg. Never knew Professor Sprout could be so bossy.

Congratulations, Ticker! Mine are 27 months apart so I know a little about how you're feeling. Sadly my oldest didn't potty-train until she was almost three so I had two in diapers for almost a year. Good times.

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Urg the Unclean - Oct 26, 2005 12:23 am (#354 of 384)

Boss Sprout. Has a ring to it.

Life is great fun here in Toronto though the two of you bring back the most wonderful memories of when Kosha was little. Now I have an added teenager to Kosha who still keeps me on my toes. Jarek is my new partner's boy, 16 & into anything loud. So not screaming fits exactly but comparable noise. And not frustration over stickies past their shelf life but still "really important issues" that I rarely find significant. No doubt my mother used to shake her head at me.

Best wishes to you both

Keith

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Istari Jones - Nov 10, 2005 8:12 am (#355 of 384)
Edited by Nov 10, 2005 12:12 am

*Spins around wildly and lands in a heap on the WNN floor*

Whoa! Hey, everyone! Got lost in the Flue Network. Well, Urg, great interview as always! Say, how about an interview with the Venomous Tentacula? (Burping sound heard from the area of the Venomous Tentacula) Urg? Hey Urg, you there?

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Ticker - Nov 11, 2005 9:58 pm (#356 of 384)

Istari! Cough, cough, choke, gargle... ahhhhhhhemmmmmmmmmm. Excuse me, just swallowed my drink wrong. Is it really you Istari? I've been wondering what sort of trouble you ran into at the Witch's Weekly Awards. Thought some disgruntled hag with an otherwise charming smile might have done you in. Anyway, you (& all that high-tech recording gear you were last seen with ) have been sorely missed. Good to see you again!

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Urg the Unclean - Nov 14, 2005 10:46 pm (#357 of 384)

This little Istari went to the Grey Havens. This little Istari pushed his servant too far. This little Istari got lost in the Flue Network. This little Ist ... whoa! Where'd the other two go?

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PyroGrl - May 12, 2006 1:49 am (#358 of 384)

Oh noes! Flying marbles!

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Finn BV - May 12, 2006 2:20 am (#359 of 384)

urg the unclean, I don't think I've ever seen you before, but it looks like you've been on an extended vacation from St. Mungo's! Welcome back to the insanity!

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Emily - May 12, 2006 8:48 pm (#360 of 384)

Welcome back, Urg! That was awesome.

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Urg the Unclean - May 14, 2006 1:20 pm (#361 of 384)
Edited by May 14, 2006 4:52 pm

Hi pyro, Emily.

Finn BV. I first thought you'd said 'welcome back to the insanitory' & was puzzled 'cos I'd never really left. But Insanity! Check back through the Nterviews for SamIam's interview with Errol the Owl. Admissions to St. Mungos rose sharply after that.
https://hplf.forumotion.com/t495p60-wizarding-wireless-network-interviews#43874
Urg

I added the link to the Nterview. The original was produced by rettoP yrraH (one of our original members, as was urg) on the Lexicon Forum before this FanFiction Forum began. Thanks to urg for posting the original text here being that it no longer exist on the Lexicon Forum. – Kip

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Urg the Unclean - May 15, 2006 2:29 pm (#362 of 384)

great Kip. Thanks.

This was the post that inspired a generation I think. Sam went off to a special school in Israel last September (it might have been Hogschwartz) and when he gets back I hope the forum is his first stop. I miss the tyrant.

urg

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Kip Carter - May 15, 2006 2:33 pm (#363 of 384)

urg, I do too!

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Elfcat - May 17, 2006 4:22 pm (#364 of 384)

HI URG! Nice to see a new interview again. Which was, of course, brilliant.

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rettoP yrraH - May 18, 2006 5:03 am (#365 of 384)

That and your little dog too!

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rettoP yrraH - May 18, 2006 5:28 am (#366 of 384)

DISCLAMER! ATTENTION!! WARNING!! BUTTERBEER DISCUSSED HERE AND TYLENOL!! IF YOU ARE UNDER 3 1/2 DON'T READ!! I HATE PIZZA!!

Well folks, yes I'm back from Hogscwartz, Yes I learnt the power or the Schwartz there. And yes my Schwartz is...err, spaceball moment...where are my Dried Frog Pills?

Anyhow, Hogscwartz is located and owns......THE LAST SUPPER ROOM! yes yes ladies and gents I was in there. Yes yes at 3am with a case of...butterbeer...and a bunch of freinds. Great acustics I may add. My freinds sax sounded great in there.

So, I come back with an exstensive education in nar...tylenol and advil and such. Never took any myself *ehme ehem* ok ok there was this one Rabbi who had a pack of GUM on him...but thats for a diffrent time.

List of things I learnt in the Holy Land.

A. Do not, I REAPEAT DO NOT Flush bullets down a toilet!
B. Some nifty trick with gunpowder and a square sticker
C. Akido
D. Knife Fighting (No really almost got stabbed to many times)
E. How to yell for help realyrealy loud
F. How to drink lots and lots of Butterbeer. (my roommate was dutch)
G. French people really do smell. (Two flatmates who were french)
H. Not to offend French people talking about their odor...they dont get it
I. How to battle the Vatican in a court of law using a 486er and alot of...butterbeer!
J. How to kill dinner mercifully, and get a certificate for it. ect...more later

Anyhow, I had a band there. 'twas rather succsefull I played Bass and the fool. made a bit of cash and spent it.

Oh yeah, I allso learnt how to stuff a Hooka, or as known a Nargila, or a B......Bottle of coke. I never put anything illegal in it! Did I say that?...Well Dumbledore smoked a pipe, and Hagrid drinks amber liquid from a bottle...ok ok

Jeeze someone is definitly gonna censure this...

(Let it go this one time Kip Please? With a steak ontop?)

Right, so I'm not on AIM anymore and I don't have Net on my PC. Using my dad’s. But, be sure to see something posted in the future.

Live from Hogschwarts...wait hogs aint kosher...Live from COWschwartz this is Deranged Sam, may the Schwartz be with you.

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PyroGrl - May 18, 2006 10:26 pm (#367 of 384)

SAMMMMM!!!! *glompifies you* I missed you!! Do you remember us little people?

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Urg the Unclean - May 18, 2006 11:50 pm (#368 of 384)

Well! Speak of the Dervish.

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rettoP yrraH - May 19, 2006 3:04 am (#369 of 384)

What in the low levels of dante's hell is WWN doing on the bottom of the page may I ask?

Go elf yourself Ugh. Good to see you too.

And hello Pyro.

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Elfcat - May 19, 2006 3:22 pm (#370 of 384)

HI SAM! Wow, it's like the WWN fairy just showed up and brought back all our people.

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rettoP yrraH - May 19, 2006 4:36 pm (#371 of 384)

*hurmph* Did you just call me a Fairy? I have lawyers you know!

No self-respecting evolved hobbit would call themselves a.....fairy!

Are you relitivly new Elfcat? 'cause if you are I have this to say, Welcome and go Elf you're self!

No really, thanks for posting, I's ap-ri-she-ate it. Now go back to your corner! We have shows to prep!

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Urg the Unclean - May 19, 2006 5:41 pm (#372 of 384)

An Elfkitten is new. An Elfcat has been around.

Hi Elfcat. Hope life is purrrrfectly ... er ... em ... perfect he ends lamely

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rettoP yrraH - May 21, 2006 5:21 am (#373 of 384)

*tosses something random for the heck of it*

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Elfcat - May 23, 2006 5:23 pm (#374 of 384)

Actually the fairy in question was not meant to be you, Sam. And I have been here for almost 2 years, I even did some WWN interviews once or twice, but they really sucked so I went back to spectating.

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Urg the Unclean - May 24, 2006 12:46 am (#375 of 384)

They did not suck. I'd hoped you'd stick with it.

The more you write the better you get.

Keith

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rettoP yrraH - May 24, 2006 2:58 am (#376 of 384)

Elf, my job is to find something insulting in everything any one says to me! Look at Ugh he is always trying to insult me, but it never works. I mean he opens his mouth and the smell knocks you out before he can insult you. He's got Cybertosis.

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Elfcat - May 25, 2006 4:30 pm (#377 of 384)

YES Sam, I've figured out your insult thing. I always read threads before I join them.

Maybe I'll try another interview sometime.

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rettoP yrraH - Jun 8, 2006 3:29 am (#378 of 384)

Ugh? have you been test flying Errol again?

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Urg the Unclean - Jun 9, 2006 1:44 pm (#379 of 384)

Errol's not talking to me since I tried to dust off my microphone with him.

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Ticker - Jun 14, 2006 2:07 am (#380 of 384)

Cough*** Don't have time to catch up properly, but great interviews Urg, OMGIS!!!! (OMG It's Sam!!!!) & Elfcat DO write more please. Now I must go back to my unconnected muggle appartment & I don't know when I'll be back. Um, hi.

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Urg the Unclean - Jun 15, 2006 1:35 am (#381 of 384)

Hi! My friend. I hope ... where's she gone? Ah! There you ... Damn! this is like the time with Heathertoes.

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Urg the Unclean - Aug 6, 2006 2:28 am (#382 of 384)

Ticker, get those babies to sleep at the same time so you can spend some time with us. I (and I'm sure every old hand) would like to hear about number two and whether aria sings her to sleep.

I'm still in Toronto but living alone now. Never felt so alive. Kosha was just down for a week. He turned 16 a few weeks ago. Still has his dry humor. Wants to learn to drive. I should hook him up with sam.  Perhaps I should talk to sam's brothers first to see if they actually learned anything from him. BTW Sam, did your hair ever 'turn back'?

Any ideas for another Nterview? I'm lost & need some direction.

Urg

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Urg the Unclean - Aug 22, 2007 3:52 am (#383 of 384)

WOW! A whole year gone by and the family disbanded. I hope you're all off making your fortunes.

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Ticker - Dec 29, 2007 7:32 pm (#384 of 384)

No joke, Urg   *Jingles loose change in pocket - unfortunately not enough to buy a lollipop even... *

Loved your last Nterviews. Hope Toronto is treating you well. My sister lived there a while... blah, blah,... chit, chat... Seriously glad you are/were more alive. You know flossing can get rid of some of the decay you find in those teeth of yours. Hope your holidays were good & the same to anyone else reading this.