Potty Game: Five Words (Vol. XV)
+3
Puck
Julia H.
Potteraholic
7 posters
Page 29 of 41
Page 29 of 41 • 1 ... 16 ... 28, 29, 30 ... 35 ... 41
Story #140
image c/o
harrypotter.wikia.com
, but shouldn't take all missteps
Mona, here's what Verity posted here, at the beginning of our current story: (I figured it'd be good to repost it, in case BB, Julia, Puck, or anyone else stopped by. ) And it's still not too late to comment... I have to find a story to 'feature' after all.
This was my comment:
Great choice for our first 'Featured Story of the Week'. Like you, as a reader, I loved the variety of the pieces in this 'story' and the humor. I loved the little nods to canon here and there. From a writing standpoint, I liked writing the shorter pieces best, since there was less we had to keep track of during the writing of those pieces. I remember that writing the 'Vampire' story was a bit ing at times, but, like most Five Words stories, it worked out in the end. I think writing another issue of The Daily Prophet in our next volume is something we should consider. Now that I know how to do all that coding, I don't want to forget! (And looking for the images was fun, too.)
20
post left
for 's
report
harrypotter.wikia.com
, but shouldn't take all missteps
- Spoiler:
- ... to heart... is what I was thinking, with maybe some brief description of a spell gone wrong?
Mona, here's what Verity posted here, at the beginning of our current story: (I figured it'd be good to repost it, in case BB, Julia, Puck, or anyone else stopped by. ) And it's still not too late to comment... I have to find a story to 'feature' after all.
Verity Weasley wrote:Now on to FEATURED STORY OF THE WEEK!
In honour of the completed archives and the amazing display of PAH's HTML skills, there was really only one choice for our first Featured Story of the Week (for those posters who missed it, this is an opportunity to revisit some of our favourite stories from the past and share what we particularly like about them):
The Daily Prophet
I hope the link will work! I LOVE this story! I think it is one of the best examples of why Five Words is so much fun. Just the sheer versatility of our writing styles and genres encapsulated in this one 'story' is great - everything from features to advertisements. This was also our first attempt at horoscopes, which I think was a great success, and I love the very different tones of the Letters to the Editor. It also goes without saying (but I'll say it) that it all looks a hundred times better thanks to PAH's magnificent HTML skills.
What does everyone else think about our first Featured Story of the Week?
This was my comment:
Great choice for our first 'Featured Story of the Week'. Like you, as a reader, I loved the variety of the pieces in this 'story' and the humor. I loved the little nods to canon here and there. From a writing standpoint, I liked writing the shorter pieces best, since there was less we had to keep track of during the writing of those pieces. I remember that writing the 'Vampire' story was a bit ing at times, but, like most Five Words stories, it worked out in the end. I think writing another issue of The Daily Prophet in our next volume is something we should consider. Now that I know how to do all that coding, I don't want to forget! (And looking for the images was fun, too.)
20
post left
for 's
report
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
story #140
to heart, such as the
It really was a great story!
19 posts left for Neville's report
It really was a great story!
19 posts left for Neville's report
Verity Weasley- N.E.W.T.
- Posts : 4464
Join date : 2011-02-18
Age : 54
Location : Egypt
Story #140
into a toilet seat. Mr.
I'd like to thank Verity for the referral to the FSOTW. I especially liked the portions about Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and their actions.
The formatting and pictures were very nice! (Thanks, PAH.)
BB
I'd like to thank Verity for the referral to the FSOTW. I especially liked the portions about Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and their actions.
The formatting and pictures were very nice! (Thanks, PAH.)
BB
Betelgeuse Black- Second Year
- Posts : 287
Join date : 2011-02-20
Location : Texas, USA
Story #140
image c/o
harrypotter.wikia.com
Longbottom got there in the end and.... wonder what that sheet was supposed to turn into?
6 words, I know, but I couldn't resist. (I'll use 4 next time.) And who's going to be reading this report, but Minnie McG's old chum, Augusta (Auggie) herself. So I'm thinking she'd have a bit of fun while writing it.
BB! A toilet seat! Love it! And thanks for your comments re: our first FSOTW. I had to re-read the DP to see where Mr. and Mrs. Weasley (Arthur and Molly) appeared in that issue, and then I got it... you meant Ron and Hermione!
Okay, as per Verity's suggestion, here is the 2nd 'Featured Story of the Week': (I should make a list of these in the header page, methinks.)
"Dean and Seamus' Strange Aussie Excursion"
I almost picked a "Minnie and Auggie adventure" because of our current report, but then thought of the first specifically 'buddy' (only 2 pals as opposed to the trio) stories we wrote here on Five Words. This story took 2 characters we know reasonably well and plopped them smack dab in the middle of a new location with new dangers and new characters. There was very little canon that had to be adhered to in the story, since it was set in Australia, except for the inclusion of an Australian dragon and some canon spells that were used. It was fast-paced, funny, entertaining, and there were liberal references to Australian culture that according to Verity, who's read the story before, were very accurate. I loved how we hinted at Seamus' trouble with spells sometimes with his splinching mishap. This was a very fun story to participate in, since there were so very many opportunities to let our creativity have free rein/reign?, and at 1,325 words, proves that Five Words stories don't have to be long to be good.
16
post left
for 's
report
harrypotter.wikia.com
Longbottom got there in the end and.... wonder what that sheet was supposed to turn into?
6 words, I know, but I couldn't resist. (I'll use 4 next time.) And who's going to be reading this report, but Minnie McG's old chum, Augusta (Auggie) herself. So I'm thinking she'd have a bit of fun while writing it.
BB! A toilet seat! Love it! And thanks for your comments re: our first FSOTW. I had to re-read the DP to see where Mr. and Mrs. Weasley (Arthur and Molly) appeared in that issue, and then I got it... you meant Ron and Hermione!
Okay, as per Verity's suggestion, here is the 2nd 'Featured Story of the Week': (I should make a list of these in the header page, methinks.)
"Dean and Seamus' Strange Aussie Excursion"
I almost picked a "Minnie and Auggie adventure" because of our current report, but then thought of the first specifically 'buddy' (only 2 pals as opposed to the trio) stories we wrote here on Five Words. This story took 2 characters we know reasonably well and plopped them smack dab in the middle of a new location with new dangers and new characters. There was very little canon that had to be adhered to in the story, since it was set in Australia, except for the inclusion of an Australian dragon and some canon spells that were used. It was fast-paced, funny, entertaining, and there were liberal references to Australian culture that according to Verity, who's read the story before, were very accurate. I loved how we hinted at Seamus' trouble with spells sometimes with his splinching mishap. This was a very fun story to participate in, since there were so very many opportunities to let our creativity have free rein/reign?, and at 1,325 words, proves that Five Words stories don't have to be long to be good.
16
post left
for 's
report
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
Story #140
; and the cast iron cauldron
I think that was the goal.
I'm curious about the Featured Story of the Week. Good idea!
PAH, thanks for mentioning it, I may indeed need help with the reposting - I haven't got round to continuing it for a long time.
I think that was the goal.
I'm curious about the Featured Story of the Week. Good idea!
PAH, thanks for mentioning it, I may indeed need help with the reposting - I haven't got round to continuing it for a long time.
Julia H.- Prefect
- Posts : 6172
Join date : 2011-02-18
Story #140
image c/o
harrypotter.wikia.com
that I asked him 4 words b/c I used 6 before.
Okay, I'm a bit flummoxed, as I thought turning the sheet into a toilet seat was a misstep in the process of transfiguring it into something else. And I wasn't sure what to follow-up the cauldron with... but I've only got to use 4 words, so... hope this works!
After a few comments about the 2nd 'FSOTW', who'd like to select the next featured story?
Just a reminder, folks, to post the posts left for each student's report. Thanks!
Julia, just let me know in a PM or an email.
15
post left
for 's
report
harrypotter.wikia.com
that I asked him 4 words b/c I used 6 before.
Okay, I'm a bit flummoxed, as I thought turning the sheet into a toilet seat was a misstep in the process of transfiguring it into something else. And I wasn't sure what to follow-up the cauldron with... but I've only got to use 4 words, so... hope this works!
After a few comments about the 2nd 'FSOTW', who'd like to select the next featured story?
Just a reminder, folks, to post the posts left for each student's report. Thanks!
Julia, just let me know in a PM or an email.
15
post left
for 's
report
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
Story #140
to try again to produce
OK, I thought Neville should have transfigured a sheet into a cauldron, but (perhaps because of some unlucky associations ) he produced a toilet seat instead, and perhaps McGonagall gave him some more sheets (or turned the toilet seat back into one), and finally Neville did manage to turn the sheet into a cauldron (not necessarily in the same class). I thought "he got there in the end" meant that in the end he successfully turned a sheet into the required object (with persistent practice perhaps).
I'm not sure that my five words work now, so feel free to transfigure them into something better, but I wanted to clarify what I meant.
OK, I thought Neville should have transfigured a sheet into a cauldron, but (perhaps because of some unlucky associations ) he produced a toilet seat instead, and perhaps McGonagall gave him some more sheets (or turned the toilet seat back into one), and finally Neville did manage to turn the sheet into a cauldron (not necessarily in the same class). I thought "he got there in the end" meant that in the end he successfully turned a sheet into the required object (with persistent practice perhaps).
I'm not sure that my five words work now, so feel free to transfigure them into something better, but I wanted to clarify what I meant.
Julia H.- Prefect
- Posts : 6172
Join date : 2011-02-18
story #140
eventually materialised. His written work
I'll re-read the new featured story of the week and be back with comments later.
13 posts left for Neville's report
I'll re-read the new featured story of the week and be back with comments later.
13 posts left for Neville's report
Verity Weasley- N.E.W.T.
- Posts : 4464
Join date : 2011-02-18
Age : 54
Location : Egypt
Story #140
image c/o
harrypotter.wikia.com
is full of relevant information and... ? but...?
Okay, Verity. Looking forward to it!
12
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report
harrypotter.wikia.com
is full of relevant information and... ? but...?
Ohhhh, I see, Julia. The italicized 'that' is what threw me, I realize. I'll update the story, and see if anything needs to be transfigured.Julia H. wrote:I think that was the goal.
Okay, Verity. Looking forward to it!
12
post left
for 's
report
Last edited by Potteraholic on Wed Sep 14, 2011 9:41 am; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
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Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
Story #140
especially with regard to plant transfiguration
I used toilet seat since it would be a bit embarrassing and funny. Cauldrons aren't funny unless they are leaky and thin bottomed.
Remember the the wizard Barrufino (sp?) who said f instead of s and wound up with a buffalo on his chest? What was he supposed to be saying? We don't know! Some things are better left to the imagination.
Off to read the next story!
BB
I used toilet seat since it would be a bit embarrassing and funny. Cauldrons aren't funny unless they are leaky and thin bottomed.
Remember the the wizard Barrufino (sp?) who said f instead of s and wound up with a buffalo on his chest? What was he supposed to be saying? We don't know! Some things are better left to the imagination.
Off to read the next story!
BB
Betelgeuse Black- Second Year
- Posts : 287
Join date : 2011-02-20
Location : Texas, USA
Story #140
image c/o
harrypotter.wikia.com
, but needs to be organized
Okay, BB. Looking forward to your comments!
Just another friendly reminder to post the 'posts left' update for each report. They are about 25 posts long. The updates help us stay on track, and not go overly long, and we usually try to get to the behavior paragraph about nowish/soonish. Thanks!
10
post left
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report
harrypotter.wikia.com
, but needs to be organized
- Spoiler:
- a bit better, as it rambles, occasionally ... is what I was thinking, or something else that fit Neville's personality, etc.
Okay, BB. Looking forward to your comments!
Just another friendly reminder to post the 'posts left' update for each report. They are about 25 posts long. The updates help us stay on track, and not go overly long, and we usually try to get to the behavior paragraph about nowish/soonish. Thanks!
10
post left
for 's
report
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
Story #140
better to avoid future
I just noticed I posted 6 words so I followed up with 4 in this one. Sorry about that.
9
post left for Neville's report
(sorry, I don't have the formatting or Neville's smiley)
BB
I just noticed I posted 6 words so I followed up with 4 in this one. Sorry about that.
9
post left for Neville's report
(sorry, I don't have the formatting or Neville's smiley)
BB
Betelgeuse Black- Second Year
- Posts : 287
Join date : 2011-02-20
Location : Texas, USA
Story #140
image c/o
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lapses in purpose and composition.
Thanks for catching that, BB! And for anyone who'd like to use , here's the code for it:
Now, on to Neville's behavior section. Hmmm... I wonder what Minne McG will highlight?
8
post left
for 's
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harrypotter.wikia.com
lapses in purpose and composition.
Thanks for catching that, BB! And for anyone who'd like to use , here's the code for it:
- Code:
[img]http://www.butterbier.de/Icons/smilie_neville_longbottom.gif[/img]
Now, on to Neville's behavior section. Hmmm... I wonder what Minne McG will highlight?
8
post left
for 's
report
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
story #140
Mr Longbottom is generally attentive
I've had a bit of a crazy day but I finally had a chance to read the new featured story of the week. Great choice PAH! It really was a unique story, and must have one of the most unusual first five words of all our stories. It was a fun story, and all the Australian details really add depth and interest. Some of the phrasing was a little clumsy in places, but in other places, the writing was very eloquent. I loved the comedy of the splinching incident and the way this was used in the conclusion of the story was a nice touch. At one point, I thought we might have strayed into Narnia with the dragon wranglers Peter and Edmund!
7 posts left for Neville's report
I've had a bit of a crazy day but I finally had a chance to read the new featured story of the week. Great choice PAH! It really was a unique story, and must have one of the most unusual first five words of all our stories. It was a fun story, and all the Australian details really add depth and interest. Some of the phrasing was a little clumsy in places, but in other places, the writing was very eloquent. I loved the comedy of the splinching incident and the way this was used in the conclusion of the story was a nice touch. At one point, I thought we might have strayed into Narnia with the dragon wranglers Peter and Edmund!
7 posts left for Neville's report
Verity Weasley- N.E.W.T.
- Posts : 4464
Join date : 2011-02-18
Age : 54
Location : Egypt
The 'Featured Story of the Week'
The 'Featured Story of the Week'
The 'Featured Story of the Week' is an idea that Verity Weasley first introduced here: "The Five Words archives are a wonderful record of our years on this forum. It's nice to look back and remember some of our earlier stories. One of my favourites remains the one with Luna and her father, but I also love the ones where we have given our creativity free rein, such as the special edition of the Daily Prophet. Maybe we could have a 'Featured Story of the Week' or something like that, where we take turns to choose a story and recommend it to our fellow Five Worders?"
She then later added to it here: "I was just thinking that we have a wonderful store of past stories, just sitting there in the archives now. I thought it could be fun if each week, one of us current posters chose a story from the archives as our featured story of the week, and recommended our fellow posters read it. We could link to it (PAH, you'd have to remind some of us how to do that! ) and make a few comments about why we chose it, then others could comment after they'd read it. It seems a shame to have all those great stories just sitting there feeling neglected, that's all."
Potteraholic and Mona expressed an interest in this idea, and as the current group of Five Worders is a cozy little group, it only takes one or two folks' feedback for an idea to be put into action!
The 'Featured Story of the Week' comments for each featured story will be collected and posted in a separate post, and included as a link in the Five Words Archives via an indexed list.
The 'Featured Story of the Week' is an idea that Verity Weasley first introduced here: "The Five Words archives are a wonderful record of our years on this forum. It's nice to look back and remember some of our earlier stories. One of my favourites remains the one with Luna and her father, but I also love the ones where we have given our creativity free rein, such as the special edition of the Daily Prophet. Maybe we could have a 'Featured Story of the Week' or something like that, where we take turns to choose a story and recommend it to our fellow Five Worders?"
She then later added to it here: "I was just thinking that we have a wonderful store of past stories, just sitting there in the archives now. I thought it could be fun if each week, one of us current posters chose a story from the archives as our featured story of the week, and recommended our fellow posters read it. We could link to it (PAH, you'd have to remind some of us how to do that! ) and make a few comments about why we chose it, then others could comment after they'd read it. It seems a shame to have all those great stories just sitting there feeling neglected, that's all."
Potteraholic and Mona expressed an interest in this idea, and as the current group of Five Worders is a cozy little group, it only takes one or two folks' feedback for an idea to be put into action!
The 'Featured Story of the Week' comments for each featured story will be collected and posted in a separate post, and included as a link in the Five Words Archives via an indexed list.
* Five Words - Main Archives * |
Last edited by Potteraholic on Wed Sep 28, 2011 3:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
Archive of Five Words Stories - 'Featured Story of the Week' #1
image c/o www.stopbigmedia.com/
potterwatch
'Featured Story of the Week' Comments for Story #128, Volume XIII,
Potty Five Words: "The Daily Prophet, 10th March 2008"
This story was featured during the writing of Story #140. It was the 1st 'Featured Story of the Week'. All times listed are EST.
- Verity Weasley, Aug 29, 2011 12:14 am: I LOVE this story! I think it is one of the best examples of why Five Words is so much fun. Just the sheer versatility of our writing styles and genres encapsulated in this one 'story' is great - everything from features to advertisements. This was also our first attempt at horoscopes, which I think was a great success, and I love the very different tones of the Letters to the Editor. It also goes without saying (but I'll say it) that it all looks a hundred times better thanks to PAH's magnificent HTML skills.
- Potteraholic, Aug 29, 2011 7:51 am: Great choice for our first 'Featured Story of the Week'. Like you, as a reader, I loved the variety of the pieces in this 'story' and the humor. I loved the little nods to canon here and there. From a writing standpoint, I liked writing the shorter pieces best, since there was less we had to keep track of during the writing of those pieces. I remember that writing the 'Vampire' story was a bit ing at times, but, like most Five Words stories, it worked out in the end. I think writing another issue of The Daily Prophet in our next volume is something we should consider. Now that I know how to do all that coding, I don't want to forget! (And looking for the images was fun, too.
- Verity Weasley, Sept 13, 2011 9:19 am: It really was a great story!
- Betelgeuse Black Sept 13, 2011 4:23 pm: I'd like to thank Verity for the referral to the FSOTW. I especially liked the portions about Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and their actions.
The formatting and pictures were very nice! (Thanks, PAH.)
- Potteraholic, Sept 13, 2011 5:19 pm: I had to re-read the DP to see where Mr. and Mrs. Weasley (Arthur and Molly) appeared in that issue, and then I got it... you meant Ron and Hermione!
- Mona, Sept 15, 2011 12:14 am: Fun to write and a joy to read, and all greatly enhanced by PAH's wonderful formatting and illustrations. What more can I say?
* Five Words – Volume 15 Index *
* Five Words - Volumes Index *
potterwatch
'Featured Story of the Week' Comments for Story #128, Volume XIII,
Potty Five Words: "The Daily Prophet, 10th March 2008"
This story was featured during the writing of Story #140. It was the 1st 'Featured Story of the Week'. All times listed are EST.
- Verity Weasley, Aug 29, 2011 12:14 am: I LOVE this story! I think it is one of the best examples of why Five Words is so much fun. Just the sheer versatility of our writing styles and genres encapsulated in this one 'story' is great - everything from features to advertisements. This was also our first attempt at horoscopes, which I think was a great success, and I love the very different tones of the Letters to the Editor. It also goes without saying (but I'll say it) that it all looks a hundred times better thanks to PAH's magnificent HTML skills.
- Potteraholic, Aug 29, 2011 7:51 am: Great choice for our first 'Featured Story of the Week'. Like you, as a reader, I loved the variety of the pieces in this 'story' and the humor. I loved the little nods to canon here and there. From a writing standpoint, I liked writing the shorter pieces best, since there was less we had to keep track of during the writing of those pieces. I remember that writing the 'Vampire' story was a bit ing at times, but, like most Five Words stories, it worked out in the end. I think writing another issue of The Daily Prophet in our next volume is something we should consider. Now that I know how to do all that coding, I don't want to forget! (And looking for the images was fun, too.
- Verity Weasley, Sept 13, 2011 9:19 am: It really was a great story!
- Betelgeuse Black Sept 13, 2011 4:23 pm: I'd like to thank Verity for the referral to the FSOTW. I especially liked the portions about Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and their actions.
The formatting and pictures were very nice! (Thanks, PAH.)
- Potteraholic, Sept 13, 2011 5:19 pm: I had to re-read the DP to see where Mr. and Mrs. Weasley (Arthur and Molly) appeared in that issue, and then I got it... you meant Ron and Hermione!
- Mona, Sept 15, 2011 12:14 am: Fun to write and a joy to read, and all greatly enhanced by PAH's wonderful formatting and illustrations. What more can I say?
* Five Words – Volume 15 Index *
* Five Words - Volumes Index *
* Five Words - Main Archives * |
* Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * |
Last edited by Potteraholic on Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:26 am; edited 5 times in total
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
Archive of Five Words Stories - 'Featured Story of the Week' #2
'Featured Story of the Week' Comments for Story #64, Volume VI,
Potty Five Words: "Dean and Seamus' Strange Aussie Excursion"
This story was featured during the writing of Story #140. It was the 2nd 'Featured Story of the Week'. All times listed are EST.
- Potteraholic, Sept 13, 2011 5:19 pm: I almost picked a "Minnie and Auggie adventure" because of our current report, but then thought of the first specifically 'buddy' (only 2 pals as opposed to the trio) stories we wrote here on Five Words. This story took 2 characters we know reasonably well and plopped them smack dab in the middle of a new location with new dangers and new characters. There was very little canon that had to be adhered to in the story, since it was set in Australia, except for the inclusion of an Australian dragon and some canon spells that were used. It was fast-paced, funny, entertaining, and there were liberal references to Australian culture that according to Verity, who's read the story before, were very accurate. I loved how we hinted at Seamus' trouble with spells sometimes with his splinching mishap. This was a very fun story to participate in, since there were so very many opportunities to let our creativity have free rein/reign?, and at 1,325 words, proves that Five Words stories don't have to be long to be good.
- Verity Weasley, Sept 14 10:19 am: Great choice PAH! It really was a unique story, and must have one of the most unusual first five words of all our stories. It was a fun story, and all the Australian details really add depth and interest. Some of the phrasing was a little clumsy in places, but in other places, the writing was very eloquent. I loved the comedy of the splinching incident and the way this was used in the conclusion of the story was a nice touch. At one point, I thought we might have strayed into Narnia with the dragon wranglers Peter and Edmund!
- Mona, Sept 15, 2011 12:14 am: I think I'm not a great fan of action stories, though it may have helped if I had taken part in the writing of it! I liked Azi's unusual opening words, and the end was very nice. And yes, it was a good story!
* Five Words – Volume 15 Index *
* Five Words - Volumes Index *
Potty Five Words: "Dean and Seamus' Strange Aussie Excursion"
This story was featured during the writing of Story #140. It was the 2nd 'Featured Story of the Week'. All times listed are EST.
- Potteraholic, Sept 13, 2011 5:19 pm: I almost picked a "Minnie and Auggie adventure" because of our current report, but then thought of the first specifically 'buddy' (only 2 pals as opposed to the trio) stories we wrote here on Five Words. This story took 2 characters we know reasonably well and plopped them smack dab in the middle of a new location with new dangers and new characters. There was very little canon that had to be adhered to in the story, since it was set in Australia, except for the inclusion of an Australian dragon and some canon spells that were used. It was fast-paced, funny, entertaining, and there were liberal references to Australian culture that according to Verity, who's read the story before, were very accurate. I loved how we hinted at Seamus' trouble with spells sometimes with his splinching mishap. This was a very fun story to participate in, since there were so very many opportunities to let our creativity have free rein/reign?, and at 1,325 words, proves that Five Words stories don't have to be long to be good.
- Verity Weasley, Sept 14 10:19 am: Great choice PAH! It really was a unique story, and must have one of the most unusual first five words of all our stories. It was a fun story, and all the Australian details really add depth and interest. Some of the phrasing was a little clumsy in places, but in other places, the writing was very eloquent. I loved the comedy of the splinching incident and the way this was used in the conclusion of the story was a nice touch. At one point, I thought we might have strayed into Narnia with the dragon wranglers Peter and Edmund!
- Mona, Sept 15, 2011 12:14 am: I think I'm not a great fan of action stories, though it may have helped if I had taken part in the writing of it! I liked Azi's unusual opening words, and the end was very nice. And yes, it was a good story!
* Five Words – Volume 15 Index *
* Five Words - Volumes Index *
* Five Words - Main Archives * |
* Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * |
Last edited by Potteraholic on Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:25 am; edited 2 times in total
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
Story #140
image c/o
harrypotter.wikia.com
in class during lessons, but he can
Maybe something in this section about Trevor, to make the report even more Neville-specific?
Okay, re: the earlier sentence, where something may have needed to be transfigured , I made 2 changes, which are hopefully self-explanatory, and keep us on track with the word count:
Mr. Longbottom got there in the end;and the cast iron cauldron that I asked him to try again to produce, eventually materialized. His written work is full of relevant, {interesting} information especially with regard to plant transfiguration...
I've posted the comments for our first 2 'FSOTW'. If you haven't posted yours yet, for either story, never fear! I can always edit in your comments after you post them! Looking forward to reading some more thoughts!
Verity, I believe the first 'Narnia' movie was released when that story was written, hence the names that I contributed.
EDIT: story update #4
EDIT #2: Changed 'in class' to 'during lessons'. Reason explained here.
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harrypotter.wikia.com
Maybe something in this section about Trevor, to make the report even more Neville-specific?
Okay, re: the earlier sentence, where something may have needed to be transfigured , I made 2 changes, which are hopefully self-explanatory, and keep us on track with the word count:
Mr. Longbottom got there in the end;
I've posted the comments for our first 2 'FSOTW'. If you haven't posted yours yet, for either story, never fear! I can always edit in your comments after you post them! Looking forward to reading some more thoughts!
Verity, I believe the first 'Narnia' movie was released when that story was written, hence the names that I contributed.
EDIT: story update #4
EDIT #2: Changed 'in class' to 'during lessons'. Reason explained here.
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Last edited by Potteraholic on Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
Story #140
get distracted, especially when his
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Last edited by Mona on Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:13 am; edited 2 times in total
Mona- Hufflepuff Prefect
- Posts : 3114
Join date : 2011-02-21
Age : 61
Location : India
Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
story #140
to join him in class!
PAH, you repeated 'his' at the start of your post, so you should take 6 words next time.
3 posts left for Neville's report
PAH, you repeated 'his' at the start of your post, so you should take 6 words next time.
3 posts left for Neville's report
Verity Weasley- N.E.W.T.
- Posts : 4464
Join date : 2011-02-18
Age : 54
Location : Egypt
Story #140
image c/o
harrypotter.wikia.com
Mr. Longbottom is steadfast and diligent
Left it open in case someone wanted to add something perhaps preceded by a comma, if I may make a suggestion.
Thanks, Verity. 6 words it is!
Whose report should we write next? Seamus' or Dean's? Then we get to work on the . Fun!
EDIT: 'in class' appears at both the start and end of the last sentence, so I am changing the first 'in class' (in my post) to 'during lessons' since I don't think Minnie McG would leave it like that, after a quick revision.
Have a look...
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harrypotter.wikia.com
Mr. Longbottom is steadfast and diligent
Left it open in case someone wanted to add something perhaps preceded by a comma, if I may make a suggestion.
Thanks, Verity. 6 words it is!
Whose report should we write next? Seamus' or Dean's? Then we get to work on the . Fun!
EDIT: 'in class' appears at both the start and end of the last sentence, so I am changing the first 'in class' (in my post) to 'during lessons' since I don't think Minnie McG would leave it like that, after a quick revision.
Have a look...
- Spoiler:
TRANSFIGURATION
Year 1, June 1992
NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Mr. Longbottom is determined to do well in Transfiguration and always works hard. However, he lacks confidence, but shouldn't take all missteps to heart, such as the time he transfigured a sheet into a toilet seat. Mr. Longbottom got there in the end; the cast iron cauldron that I asked him to try again to produce, eventually materialized. His written work is full of relevant, interesting information especially with regard to plant transfiguration, but needs to be organized better to avoid future lapses in purpose and composition.
Mr. Longbottom is generally attentivein classduring lessons, but he can get distracted, especially when his toad, Trevor, just happens to join him in class! Mr. Longbottom is steadfast and diligent...
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Potteraholic- Ravenclaw Prefect
- Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA
Story #140
, and can make rapid progress
I'm going to read the featured story now, and will report back.
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-------------------------------------
EDIT: "The Daily Prophet" - Fun to write and a joy to read, and all greatly enhanced by PAH's wonderful formatting and illustrations. What more can I say?
"Dean and Seamus' Strange Aussie Excursion" - Umm...I think I'm not a great fan of action stories, though it may have helped if I had taken part in the writing of it! I liked Azi's unusual opening words, and the end was very nice. And yes, it was a good story!
---------------------
I think I'm not very good at reviewing stories.
BTW, what's the meaning of 'Toohey’s best'?
- Spoiler:
- if...
I'm going to read the featured story now, and will report back.
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for Neville's
report
-------------------------------------
EDIT: "The Daily Prophet" - Fun to write and a joy to read, and all greatly enhanced by PAH's wonderful formatting and illustrations. What more can I say?
"Dean and Seamus' Strange Aussie Excursion" - Umm...I think I'm not a great fan of action stories, though it may have helped if I had taken part in the writing of it! I liked Azi's unusual opening words, and the end was very nice. And yes, it was a good story!
---------------------
I think I'm not very good at reviewing stories.
BTW, what's the meaning of 'Toohey’s best'?
Mona- Hufflepuff Prefect
- Posts : 3114
Join date : 2011-02-21
Age : 61
Location : India
story #140
with continued effort and application.
Mona, Tooheys Best is an Australian beer.
0 posts left for Neville - now on to Seamus or Dean. I'll leave it to the next poster to decide. Ooh, the suspense...
Mona, Tooheys Best is an Australian beer.
0 posts left for Neville - now on to Seamus or Dean. I'll leave it to the next poster to decide. Ooh, the suspense...
Verity Weasley- N.E.W.T.
- Posts : 4464
Join date : 2011-02-18
Age : 54
Location : Egypt
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