HPLF WX Forum
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

Archive of Five Words Stories

Page 11 of 19 Previous  1 ... 7 ... 10, 11, 12 ... 15 ... 19  Next

Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume VIII, Story #87 stats and post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:09 pm

These stats were first posted by PatPat - Sep 1, 2008 11:49 pm (#2747 of 2991) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Statistics for Story 87
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic   100
  Julia H.   41
  PatPat   37
  PeskyPixie   4
  mona amon   13
  Anna L. Black   20
  Verity Weasley   31
  Quinn Crockett   3
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 272
Total Words: 1360
Last Submission Date: #2742, September 1, 2008, 11:55 AM (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 7 days, 14 hours, 11 minutes






These post-story comments were collected by Potteraholic, but were not posted in a 'post-story comments post' before the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum' site closed on April 15, 2011. So they are being posted now, here on forumotion.


Post-Story Comments for Story #87, Volume VIII,
Potty Five Words: "Skeeter's Scoop"

This story was posted on September 1, 2008. Eight writers contributed to the story, which is 1,360 words long. Five of the eight writers posted feedback.

- PatPat, Sep 1, 2008 11:57 pm: And so ends story #87. It was nice to have a shorter story this time. We can have a good story and not be an epic! I actually like how this story turned out. It felt to me like it was dragging in the middle a little, but I think we pulled it together into a good story about Rita.

One way to have shorter stories is to try to use less words to say what we mean. I am as guilty as anyone of this. A lot of times I will use more words than necessary because I am trying to stall when I don't really know where a story is headed! However, the less we do this, the better. Not that there is anything wrong with long stories, as long as the plot takes us there. We don't want to keep going just for the sake of keeping going, if you know what I mean!

Anyway, enough talk. Congrats (again) to Potteraholic on having over one-third of the posts in this story!

Looking forward to the start of the next story! This one is going to have to be a short vignette as we have less than 300 posts left in this thread.


EDIT: PatPat, this post is number 2,753 of 3,000 maximum posts. You have a maximum of 240 posts for your actual story, which would be 1,200 words. This would hold true if no posts are either deleted or not used for the story. In other words, a short story is needed. ~Kip

- Potteraholic, Sep 2, 2008 1:54 am: Thanks, PatPat! Great smiley!

About the story. I agree, I think it turned out pretty well, but I would say that, wouldn't I, with the number of posts I contributed! I also agree with PatPat's comments about using less words, especially since this story, #88, will be the last one of this thread! After this, we will start Five Words Vol. IX!

Since this story will have to be a short one, a vignette, it would help to do a countdown announcement every 10 posts to help us stay on track and not run out of posts. We should aim to finish the story in 230 posts, by post #2980. This will leave about 10 posts for the official story and post-story comments, and some wiggle room in case a post gets deleted. But please don't delete if you can help it. If you cross-post or somehow double-post, like I did recently, stick around and try to fix it. It can be done!

So.... posts ending in 9 need a countdown note announcing how many posts are left. Look at mine below. Thanks!

One more story comment; I think it's hard to sustain a story for very long with one character either thinking or speaking to her/himself. And maybe we could have a little more action in this next story? Okay, on that note, I thought it'd be nice to write about characters we know next to nothing about. But since the Lexicon is out-of-commission, I had to look at JKR's site. I found the following 2 folks and I thought it might be fun to write about them.

- Potteraholic, Sep 2, 2008 2:09 am: And I love the title of the last story, "Skeeter's Scoop". Very alliterative!

- Verity Weasley, Sep 2, 2008 5:51 am: Well done on getting the finished story up so quickly PatPat. I agree that it can be quite hard to keep track if there is too much internal dialogue, but we managed it OK. We never did find out what happened at the Clairvoyant's Conference, but the characterisation of Rita was very accurate, I think.

- Potteraholic, Sep 2, 2008 9:28 am: Now that the Rita Skeeter story, 'Skeeter's Scoop', is finished, it would be great if other folks besides the current compilers commented on it. [Added: Thanks for your comments, Verity!] Here's a comment that Finn, the creator of Five Words, posted after the end of our 'Dean and Seamus in Ireland' story (bold emphasis mine):

One thing: we do have a slight aversion to "non-posts" (posts without five words) in the middle of stories, but please feel free to post non-posts after the story has ended (even if it's before it's posted) and especially in this interim period between stories. We need to comment on ourselves; it's part of the editing process. If you haven't gotten to comment by the time the next story starts, go right ahead and post it at the bottom of your next post, which should also contain five words. ~ Finn, Feb. 29, 2008

Sorry to be a 'nudge' about this; if folks could make a habit of making post-story comments in the future, that would be great! Thanks!

- Anna L. Black, Sep 2, 2008 10:33 am: Previous story comments: The characters (Rita, Moody, even Bathilda) were very canon-like, especially Rita. The story itself was actually two small stories combined (the Bathilda part and the Clairvoyants conference part). At first it seemed strange to me to just change direction like that, but in fact, it makes a story somewhat more believable - it's like the first part is an introduction, getting to know our main character better. If the second part was a bit longer, it'd work even better.

The second part was a little less "believable", IMO, as we kind of crammed a lot of info and details, without explaining too much. But still, the final result is a very nice story!

- Julia H., Sep 2, 2008 3:19 pm: Hi, everyone! It would have been fun to learn what happened at the Conference of Clairvoyants but maybe that's another story...






 * Five Words – Volume 8 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 8:04 pm; edited 5 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume VIII, Story #88

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:12 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Sep 20, 2008 12:16 pm (#2982 of 2991) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Daisy_10

Potty Five Words: "Daisy’s Dilemma"


Daisy Hookum asked her husband to stop de-gnoming the garden. She needed Tilden's help to get rid of a boggart in the guest bedroom. Daisy was perfectly capable, but she had recently given up doing magic.

Tilden entered the kitchen. Before he took another step, she stopped him and pointed to his boots. "Please take those off. I don't want to wash the floor again... Poor Muggles! Now I understand how much trouble they have in their everyday life!"

Tilden ignored her. "I'll deal with that, don't worry," he said calmly.

"You’ll ruin my project," Daisy said impatiently. "Remember, dear, authenticity is important. I can't use magic and it wouldn't be right if you did either."

"You'd better use a Muggle way to get rid of that boggart, then!" Tilden declared, returning to the garden.

What would a Muggle do? Daisy wondered as she followed her husband. Do they know what a boggart is? She didn't like to argue with her husband but boggarts were no picnic, especially when there wasn't any magic involved. Perhaps the inventive mind of a witch could find a non-magical method of removing it. Perhaps she could just get another opinion. That's it! she thought, I'll ask the Muggle neighbors how they clear wardrobes of boggarts. She looked around, wondering where she'd put that pheletone thing Muggles used instead of the fireplace, but was distracted by the unmistakable sound of a car pulling into the driveway.

She hurried to the window. A smartly dressed man unfolded himself from the front seat of a small, bright red Volkswagen and went up to the front door. Daisy answered the doorbell, feeling very excited. "Hello, Mr. Greene. How very nice of you to deliver my new car so soon!" she smiled and invited the salesman into the house.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked, after he sat down on the sofa. He accepted then looked around in interest. A photograph on the mantelpiece caught his attention. A picture of Daisy and her husband waving, actually waving, from inside the frame. He blinked and looked at the photograph again. They did wave. His face reflected such confusion that Daisy had to ask him if everything was all right.

"Is that some new technology?" he asked eagerly. He was usually well-informed on technical innovations, but he hadn't heard of this one.

"Why, no," Daisy said, nonchalantly turning the photograph to see the date written on the back.

"1989," she said. "It was taken then..."

"But the picture is moving!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Look!"

"Oh, " Daisy said, remembering that Muggle photographs did not move.“ I think it must be the way the light hit the—" she was suddenly interrupted by a loud creaking sound from the direction of the bedroom.

"What was that?" the salesman asked, looking a little worried. He stood up and took a step towards the door.

"Mr. Greene, where are you going?" Daisy was just asking when the creaking got louder and she instantly realized that it was the boggart.

Mr. Greene moved toward the sound and before Daisy could stop him, he ran right up the stairs. She followed him. "Don't worry, that's nothing but an open window swinging in and out.” But Mr. Greene didn't listen. He just continued hurrying toward the door that was rattling. Daisy moved quickly and pulled the rug out from under his feet. Whump! The poor salesman fell like a sack of potatoes. She jumped to the door but it was too late. Mr. Greene was staring with horror as it, BANG!, suddenly opened. He quickly pulled himself together and backed away down the stairs.

"Mr. Greene, I'll be right back. I just have to fix something," she said.

"I'm..," he replied, interestedly, "...handy at making repairs. Just show me what it is and I'll help you."

"Thank you," she said, hesitating. She was not sure what to do. Would a Muggle be able to see a boggart? Better not chance it. "I think I'll just get my husband to do it, perhaps he could—"

"Nonsense!" Mr. Greene interrupted. "I saw him when I arrived. He was too busy chasing away rabbits or something. They looked quite large, too."

"Rabbits? Oh, I see what you mean..."

"Please, let me help you," he insisted and walked into the room quickly. Daisy didn't bother to stop him. Muggles could be fascinating studies. He strode toward the wardrobe. When he reached it, its door suddenly burst open and he stepped back to see what was happening. A swirling mass of white vapor emanated from the wardrobe, before the curious, helpful car salesman. For a moment, he only stood there, unperturbed, thinking a cloud of ordinary house dust had floated out. But then, he jumped in shock, realizing that it was forming into a hideously grotesque clown, with enormous, madly staring eyes, a lopsided mouth, laughing maniacally, and a bulbous red nose. He watched the bizarre apparition with fear, his mouth gaping in a silent scream. Daisy waited. What would he do? she wondered to herself. Mr. Greene backed away slowly. "Mr. Greene! Simon! Please, do something! You must render it harmless!"

Simon stopped cowering and feebly tried punching the clown, who was laughing madly, indifferent to the blows, which seemed to just bounce off it. Realizing his strategy was not working, Simon decided to look for a weapon. A wooden chair, off to one side, caught his eye. He grabbed it by the arm and thrust it, as if it were a lance. The chair just sank into the boggart causing no harm whatsoever.

Simon dropped it, turned around, apparently looking for help from Daisy. She tried to encourage him. "It's rather ridiculous really, isn't it?" she smiled. "It looks exactly like a silly jack-in-the box, its crank missing, the box dented." She started laughing, hoping that Simon would do the same but he just looked horrified. He stared wildly at Daisy, then turned on his heel and left the room. She wasn't surprised. She had just remembered that Muggles needed a ...psychotologist to help them subdue a boggart. Poor Mr. Greene would probably need one. She sighed. Now that the boggart was out, something had to be done.

Daisy could hear pounding feet outside the room. The familiar voice of Tilden asked, "What's going on? I saw a man run out of the house, white as a sheet. Oh," he added as he saw the boggart, which was now morphing into a large flying locust. Tilden's hand was shaking a little as he raised his wand and tried to think of a funny side to locusts. "Riddikulus!" he shouted and the boggart dissolved into nothingness.

"Tilden!" cried Daisy with relief. "It was Mr. Greene, the Muggle. He insisted upon fixing the door and then the boggart escaped."

"Well, he couldn't fix boggarts," he said, "but at least he gave it a go."

Daisy smiled. "Fancy a drive?"






 * Five Words – Volume 8 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:24 pm; edited 2 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume VIII, Story #88 stats and post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:14 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Sep 20, 2008 12:26 pm (#2983 of 2991) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Daisy_10

Statistics for Story 88
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic   52
  PatPat   14
  Verity Weasley   34
  Anna L. Black   6
  Dryleaves   54
  Julia H   65
  PeskyPixie   2
  freshwater   2
  John Bumbledore   1
  Puck   1
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 231
Total Words: 1155
Last Submission Date: #2979, September 19, 2008, 12:12 PM (Julia H.)
Total Time to Create Story: 17 days, 10 hours, 18 minutes

**Please note that the actual time it took to create this story was about 9 days shorter than the amount posted above. The time discrepancy occurred when World Crossing experienced server problems from approximately September 2, 2008 10:29 pm to September 11, 2008 7:06 am.






These post-story comments were collected by Potteraholic, but were not posted in a 'post-story comments post' before the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum' site closed on April 15, 2011. So they are being posted now, here on forumotion.


Post-Story Comments for Story #88, Volume VIII,
Potty Five Words: "Daisy’s Dilemma"

This story was posted on September 20, 2008. Ten writers contributed to the story, which is 1,155 words long. Four of the ten writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Sep 20, 2008 12:29 pm: Okay, the story's up! Congratulations, Julia! Looking forward to your idea for the first story on the new thread!

Speaking of which, I'm still waiting to hear from Finn about doing just that, so we'll have to sit tight for a while this weekend before Five Wording again! Let's use the rest of this thread for post-story comments, shall we?

It was good to see that we were able to pick up the story quickly right where we left off after the World Crossing server issues were resolved. Well done, everyone! Hopefully, now that the two Forums are back up and running, more folks will return to this game we all love! On that note, Welcome Back! freshwater and Puck! And maybe we’ll even see some more posts from John Bumbledore, too?

BTW, sorry for not having the story posted earlier. The story and stats were ready, but I didn’t have the energy to write this post-story post last night. (I realized I had to refer to the World Crossing malfunction somehow, among other things.)

Now, about the story... I really liked it. We’ve had some fun writing about Muggle and wizard interaction with this story and the one about Dudley's wedding. Maybe it's a subject worth exploring in the new thread? While we had to get to the end of this tale quickly, I think we pulled it off well. It flows well with the rest of the story, and it's good to remember that everything doesn't have to be explained; as readers we can infer logical conclusions from what is written, right?

Okay, looking forward to hearing what the rest of you Five Worders think! Let the post-story posting (and the closing-out of this thread) begin!

Edit: As I prepare a post to start the new thread, in case Finn is busy, I noticed that we have developed quite a penchant for writing longer stories recently. This thread has the least amount of stories than the other ones, with just seven. Perhaps we should work on this, too?

- Julia H., Sep 20, 2008 3:26 pm: Thanks, PAH! This will be the third story that I can start and this is the second time that I have actually contributed the highest number of words in a story! OK, so either you, PAH, or Finn will start the new thread (*** sighs with relief ***) and I will only have to post the first five words when the new thread is open. Good.

The story was fun. Muggle - wizard interaction is always a good source of comedy. I admit I like taking part in writing longer stories but this time the pressure of having to limit the number of our posts has been an additional challenge. (Additional because there is always the basic challenge of continuing the story not only in terms of ideas but also in terms of language. I always feel I have to be very careful: for example, you guys can any time post the first half of an idiom that I may not know or recognize at once but if I want to continue the sentence, I'll have to realize that it can be continued in one way only... Or I should realize perhaps. It is fun.)

I'll consider the question of an avatar or a different color. Verity has already suggested that Dryleaves and I may be twins, which would explain why it is difficult to keep our posts apart. Perhaps we should have the same avatar... (OK, I understand that you want us to wear sweaters with either a large D or J on it.)

- Dryleaves, Sep 20, 2008 5:22 pm: Congratulations, Julia!

I liked this story. As it is a short story it is important that it is kept well together, and I think we did that, but still it contained a lot of funny Muggle-wizard interactions and misunderstandings. I think the question about Muggles and boggarts is an interesting one, as boggarts kind of exist in the Muggle world. We came to a reasonable conclusion, I think.

I also liked the characters. In a way it seemed as if Daisy had done very little research before starting her Muggle project, but she was curious and understanding. Mr. Greene was rather cute (and a bit annoying, perhaps) in his curiosity and his insisting upon helping Daisy.

I'll consider the avatar question as well. I guess I have to find a good one and then actually make it appear on the screen... It would be rather fun if Julia's avatar was a sweater with a J and mine a sweater with a D... (But it would probably not help solving the problem of our posts looking too much alike...)

- Verity Weasley, Sep 20, 2008 9:52 pm: I agree with the posts so far. This was a fun story to participate in and I think we did well with it, especially considering the long hiatus in the middle when nobody could post. I admit I had to go back to the beginning to remind myself what the characters' names were.

As Julia mentioned, it was an additional challenge to wrap it up in the number of posts remaining. I think we did well with that, but it would have been fun to see Daisy driving!

Julia, on re-reading this story I noticed that Daisy invited Mr Greene in for a cup of tea. Would that have anything to do with your riddle? (Clutching at straws here!)

- Julia H., Sep 21, 2008 7:12 am: Verity, no, Mr Greene's tea (did he ever get to drink it?) has nothing to do with my riddle but there is an important component shared by this story and the riddle-related part in HP.

***Waiting excitedly for the new thread to appear.***

- Potteraholic, Sep 21, 2008 1:13 pm: Dryleaves, great avatar! And thanks for your post-story comments Julia, Dryleaves and Verity. Hopefully we'll hear from some others before too long, before the new thread goes up, which will happen in a few hours. So Julia, I hope you can wait just a little while longer!

I'm hoping that North American Five Worders will check this thread out on a lazy Sunday morning, and post some comments, too.

- Dryleaves, Sep 21, 2008 2:09 pm: Thanks, PAH! I'm not good at finding pictures, so maybe I'll change my avatar later. But I like this one as it is a picture of the flower my oldest daughter is named after.

- Potteraholic, Sep 21, 2008 3:26 pm: Okay, folks, Potty Game: Five Words Vol IX is up! I can't believe I did it! But I really miss seeing Finn's avatar on the header page. It's going to take some getting used to.

So Julia, just click the link above and start the 89th story on the shiny new thread. I can't wait to see what your, and the new thread's, first words are!

There's still room here for others to post their story and thread comments. Please wait for Julia to post her first five words before posting on the new thread. Thanks!






 * Five Words – Volume 8 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 

 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:55 pm; edited 2 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX Index

Post  Potteraholic Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:29 pm

This page contains a list with links to all the stories written in Volume IX.

Five Words Stories - Volume IX

• Click on Story #89 (26 September 2008) for "A Second Chance"

• Click on Story #90 (2 October 2008) for "Remus' Revelation"

• Click on Story #91 (9 October 2008) for "Jocunda Sykes: Aviatrix Extraordinaire"

• Click on Story #92 (16 October 2008) for "The Secret Past of Dean Thomas", Three Year Anniversary Special!

• Click on Story #93 (29 October 2008) for "Dagbert and Rosie's Hair-Raising Halloween"

• Click on Story #94 (3 November 2008) for "Minerva and Augusta's Defiance of You-Know-Who"

• Click on Story #95 (10 November 2008) for "Dumbledore and Snape: A Tale from the Afterlife"

• Click on Story #96 (21 November 2008) for "Sprout and Malfoy: Two Peas in a Pod?"

• Click on Story #97 (29 November 2008) for "Tales of HRH: Hermione Remembers When..."

• Click on Story #98 (8 December 2008) for "Tales of HRH: Ron's Long-Held Secret"

• Click on Story #99 (20 December 2008) for "Tales of HRH: Harry Strikes While the Iron is Hot"

• Click on Stories Stories #97, #98, #99 (29 November - 20 December 2008) for "Tales of HRH: A Miameron" to read this trio of stories all in one post.






 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 

* This volume's stories, stats and post-story comments archived from WX by Verity Weasley; formatted/posted by Potteraholic


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 9:08 pm; edited 4 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #89

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:29 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Sep 26, 2008 9:10 pm (#357 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 HogwartsExpressavatar

Potty Five Words: "A Second Chance"


"Your potions master, Dumbledore!" Alastor Moody roared. "Why did you hire him? I'm absolutely appalled!" Dumbledore did not answer. He looked at his friend and sighed.

"Alastor," he said, "there is something you must know, and that is, I have a very good reason for trusting Severus Snape."

Moody shook his head. "I must tell you, as a friend, that it will be a total impossibility for you to convince me or the wizarding community of Snape's loyalty." Dumbledore was silent. The two men sat facing each other over the desk in Dumbledore's circular office. The late summer sun was casting long shadows across the floor. Fawkes, the phoenix was slumbering on his perch, watching the wizards silently; the Auror's fierce eyes stared critically at the old Professor, who leaned backwards in his chair, looking grave. They had been discussing this matter before and now that Snape's past was once again brought up by investigations, Moody had no choice but to accept that Snape had to be questioned. That Dumbledore claimed to fully believe in Snape's trustworthiness was the most puzzling part.

Moody decided to stop arguing with his friend. He needed to talk to Snape. He stood up stiffly and left. Where's that Death Eater?

"He'll come here if I send for him, Alastor," Dumbledore said. "But you may find him—"

"Reading my mind again, Albus?" Moody growled, turning. Dumbledore had followed Moody out of his office.

"It wasn't difficult, you know. Your face says exactly what you think." Dumbledore smiled and handed Moody a Sherbet Lemon. "If you can wait a moment I'll tell Severus that you wish to see him." Moody begrudgingly accepted the offer and returned to the office, sitting on a chair. Dumbledore waved his wand and a floral teapot with three cups landed gracefully on the desk. He raised his wand again and a silver-white figure quickly emerged. It was a phoenix, spreading its wings proudly as it was flying out of the window. "Now we only have to wait for Severus. You can ask him about anything but I must warn you not to approach him with prejudice. Severus is a young man with a wounded soul, who has suffered greatly in the past and..."

"He's a Death Eater!" Moody interrupted.

"One who risked his life for our side, Alastor, remember!" Dumbledore looked agitatedly at his friend. And he deserves a second chance." He paused. "We all deserve one."

"You're naïve, Albus," Moody said. "That's your problem. You think all people are basically good. But some just aren't. Plain and simple."

No sooner had Dumbledore poured the tea than they heard someone knocking at the door.

"Enter," called Dumbledore. Minerva McGonagall strode into the office.

Seeing Dumbledore's visitor, she said, "Oh, excuse me, Alastor."

Moody was silent but Dumbledore smiled warmly. "Minerva, what can I do for you?" He gestured to a chair and waited. McGonagall cleared her throat and said, "Professor Dumbledore, I wondered if you could speak to a journalist from the—"

"Journalist?" Moody interrupted. "Don't talk to any journalists! They must be ignored, that pesky Skeeter, and the others."

"Minerva, I'm busy at present, but if you care to deal with it, I'll leave it to you."

McGonagall nodded. Snape entered the office, his black eyes sweeping past her as she left, then he turned toward the two wizards sitting by the desk. He knew at once why he had been summoned but his face was unfathomable and his voice revealed no emotion as he addressed Dumbledore. "You wanted to see me, Headmaster?"

"Yes Severus, please take a seat. My friend Alastor Moody would like to ask you a few questions. I suppose you know he is an Auror." Dumbledore's blue eyes were piercing Snape as though they could see everything that was in the depth of the young wizard's soul. Snape sat down silently, secretly wishing he could be in his office alone.

Moody cast a disapproving glance at the young man, then spoke. "Your name has been mentioned in the—"

"This isn't a formal interrogation," Dumbledore said.

"All right!" growled Moody. "So, Snape, tell me about your Death Eater ...past."

"It's in the past," Snape said wearily. "I regret the mistake I made. I proved my loyalty to the Headmaster. Spying on the Dark Lord is something I do willingly." He waited, his eyes on the Auror, watching him intently.

Moody blinked. "That's all very well, but why did you join the Death Eaters in the first place?"

Snape shifted uncomfortably but Dumbledore answered for him. "That's neither here nor there, Alastor. I have already made that clear. Perhaps this meeting should end." Dumbledore rose quickly and Moody knew that there was no point in asking any further questions. "Severus," Dumbledore said, "I need you to talk to Hagrid about some powdered unicorn horn. He'll be on the grounds now."

"Certainly, Headmaster," replied Snape, as he rose and made his way to the door.

Moody followed him out of the office. "Remember, Alastor," intoned Dumbledore "the matter is closed."

Moody did not answer. Snape was already turning the corner when Moody caught up with him. "Relax, I'm not going to continue the interrogation but I must admit I am curious about your extraordinary story."

"Extraordinary?" questioned Snape, 'I'd hardly call my 'story' that.'" He felt in his robes for his wand, just touching it to reassure himself it was there. He was rather angry but not surprised at Moody's eagerness to discover the truth. However, his secrets were to be shared with nobody, least of all with a nosy Auror. "Don't let me keep you up," he said, the sarcasm palpable. "This business with Hagrid has nothing to do with Death Eaters, so I doubt that our little chat should interest you." Snape stepped outside of the castle.

"See you soon, Snape," Moody growled, limping away.

"It was a pleasure," sneered Snape in reply. The young wizard turned toward the forest, where a couple of trees already had bright yellow leaves. He first went to Hagrid's hut but not finding anyone there, he continued along the forest, looking for him. Many different sounds emerged from the forest, sounds Snape had heard before: creaking, rustling noises, birdsong, the sound of running water far away.

But suddenly, this harmony of familiar sounds stopped. The silence was deafening. Snape stopped, too, in surprise and listened. The next moment something crashed through the undergrowth. It was a Quintaped. How did that get in here? Everyone is in danger with this beast running loose in the forest. The Quintaped suddenly changed course and headed towards a human figure Snape hadn't noticed before. It was the new DADA teacher, Artemis White. What's that dunderhead doing out here? She has no business being out here. She couldn't handle that creature!

"ARTEMIS!!! BEHIND YOU! RUN!" Snape started running towards his colleague, who was wandering along, totally oblivious to the danger. The beast was advancing along the edge of the forest, its clubfooted legs splayed out beneath it. A most ungainly creature, it was far more dangerous than it looked. Its low-slung body was covered in reddish-brown fur, but its usually thick coat was patchy and bloodied. A menacing growl rumbled from its mouth, finally alerting Professor White to its presence. Snape reached her just as the Quintaped crouched, preparing to attack.

"STUPEFY!" he yelled, aiming his wand at the beast. Professor White appeared to be rooted to the ground. The Quintaped faltered, but continued advancing towards the petrified professor. Almost at the front gate, Moody realized he'd left his walking stick in Dumbledore's office and turned back. The air was suddenly filled with the sound of screams and strange grunts and growls. He saw flashes of red light and rushed over to investigate the source of the disturbance. Snape was firing stunning spells while trying to shield a terrified woman from a snarling five-legged creature.

Moody whipped out his own wand and fired more stunners. The double attack seemed to be wearing the animal out but it was continuing to attack. Snape yelled as the Quintaped jumped at him, tearing his robes with its claws. Another flash of red light narrowly missed Snape, who shouted, "Back away! Confringo!"

Moody and Professor White jumped back while the Quintaped was thrown to the ground, unconscious. Snape also fell and his arm landed on a large stone and broke. Professor White ran over to him, wailing and crying. Snape struggled to his feet, muttering angrily as he picked up his wand and took a few steps toward her.

"You saved my life," Professor White stammered gratefully. "Let me look at your arm! I can't understand what that beast was doing here. They are normally only found on The Isle of Drear."

She took his aching arm into her hands, despite his protestations. "Careful!" hissed Snape as she pulled up the sleeve of his left arm. She was gentle in her movements, though, when she saw his forearm, she started and let out a gasp.

"You're... a Death Eater?" Snape flushed with shame.

"It's all right, Professor White," Moody said suddenly. He limped towards them. "Professor Snape is on our side." Snape looked at him, stunned. "He has demonstrated his allegiances tonight," Moody continued. "What happened to you..."

He was suddenly interrupted by Hagrid's relieved cries. "There yeh are, Quincy. I've bin lookin' fer yeh everywhere, naugh'y, naugh'y boy!"

"Hagrid!" Moody exclaimed. "Are you responsible for this? Don't you know how dangerous all your beloved monsters are?" Hagrid looked sheepish, stooping to retrieve the still unconscious creature.

"Sorry, Professors," he muttered, backing off a little, "I know he gets a bit excitable if he's teased, but there's—"

"A bit excitable! He nearly had us for dinner!" Snape bellowed. "Now take that creature away before I decide to research its use as a potion ingredient!"

Hagrid turned and went back to the Quintaped. "Come," he murmured and lifted it carefully. "I'll take yeh home." Hagrid walked slowly away, carrying the groggy beast slung across his back.

Professor White was having difficulty mending Snape's arm, although she was very skilled in performing hexes. "Madame Pomfrey will be able to fix it," she said. "It will be safer if you let her take care of it. I'll go with you." Snape accepted her offer and they started to walk together towards the castle.

Moody was watching Snape, deep in thought. Dumbledore may have a point about that one. He might indeed deserve a second chance. I'll definitely be keeping an eye on him in the future. Constant vigilance! thought Moody.






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #89 stats

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:33 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Sep 26, 2008 9:27 pm (#359 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 HogwartsExpressavatar

Statistics for Story 89
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Julia H.   112
  Potteraholic   77
  Dryleaves   65
  Verity Weasley   71
  Snuffles   2
  azi   5
  mona amon   19
  PeskyPixie   1
  PatPat   1
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 353
Total Words: 1765
Last Submission Date: #353, September 25, 2008, 10:59 PM (Verity Weasley)
Total Time to Create Story: 4 days, 7 hours, 13 minutes






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 9:09 pm; edited 2 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #89 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:34 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 6:55 am (#2920 of 2960) [Edited Dec 21, 2010 1:49 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 HogwartsExpressavatar

Post-Story Comments for Story #89, Volume IX,
Potty Five Words: "A Second Chance"

This story was written from September 21, 2008 to September 25, 2008. Nine writers contributed to the story, which is 1,765 words long. Five of the nine writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Sep 26, 2008 9:33 pm: There was some discussion/debate about the exact time frame of this story and some of its plot details, but we managed to write a cohesive well-constructed story despite the different perspectives and understandings we brought to our five word contributions over the course of writing this story, in an unbelievably short time, too. Well done to all of us!

The length of this story is more typical of Five Words stories in the majority of the other threads, and I think this is a practice we should continue.

For those who, noticed, yes, I changed some of Hagrid's dialogue. Words like 'ya' became 'yeh', etc. I consulted the Lexicon to get his dialect as close to canon as possible.

- Julia H., Sep 26, 2008 10:18 pm: This was a special story for me because, as I said, I find this "missing part" of the HP saga (about Snape's "reintegration" - well, sort of - into the wizarding community) quite intriguing.

- Verity Weasley, Sep 26, 2008 10:35 pm: Reading through the last story, I thought it turned out really well. It read quite smoothly and everything made sense. I don't really think McGonagall added anything to the story. Those few lines could probably be cut without losing anything relevant. But I guess that happens with five words. Sometimes a character is introduced but then doesn't really go anywhere. And when I got to Hagrid's dialogue, I immediately recognised the more correct form that you changed it to PAH. When I posted some of his speech, I put 'ya', but I knew that didn't seem right. I also knew he wouldn't say 'you'. The number of times I have read Hagrid's dialogue, I should have remembered it was 'yeh'. Thankfully, you did PAH! And once again, an inspired choice for a story title!

- Potteraholic, Sep 26, 2008 11:40 pm: And re: the title, thanks, Verity! It seemed the only choice to me. About your comment: I don't really think McGonagall added anything to the story. Those few lines could probably be cut without losing anything relevant. But I guess that happens with five words. Sometimes a character is introduced but then doesn't really go anywhere.

I only introduced Minnie McG because of this previous comment you made whilst Five Wording: Who could it be? It can't be Snape yet surely. Remember, you can't Apparate into Hogwarts! (My inner Hermione coming out!) I thought, I better not mess with canon, so followed your suggestion. Ah well! Minnie will just have to wait for another story, won't she?

- Verity Weasley, Sep 27, 2008 1:07 am: I know I inadvertantly brought about that Professor McGonagall hiatus in the previous story with my comment. At the time, it hadn't occurred to me that Snape might already be at Hogwarts. For some reason, I just assumed that he would be elsewhere. Anyway, I guess there could have been some interaction between the characters that added to the story, but as it was, Minnie left when Snape arrived. That's the nature of Five Words, I suppose.

- Julia H., Sep 27, 2008 4:45 am: Last night I wanted to say but forgot (I was sleepy) that I like the title, too! Very appropriate! I liked the way you presented Hagrid. It seemed totally authentic to me. BTW, I think this time we managed to keep all the characters in character. (I remember in another Snape-story, he was a bit out of character, as readers remarked.)

There were only two questions that remained unanswered for me: Did Moody find his walking stick after all or did he discover he did not really need it? (He even jumped once!) What was the unicorn horn business? Snape totally forgot about it, which is not surprising under the circumstances. (He might just have to start looking for Hagrid again.)

- Dryleaves, Sep 27, 2008 12:22 pm: On the last story: I agree that McGonagall didn't contribute much to it, but at least she didn't ruin it. I think the story as a whole was well-composed and I don't think our timeline problems showed in the final version. And I liked the title too. I'm always curious about what the title of the story will be.

- mona amon, Sep 27, 2008 1:24 pm: I thought 'A Second Chance' turned out very well. Nice title, BTW.






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 8:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #90

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:35 pm

This story was first posted by PatPat - Oct 2, 2008 12:49 am (#702 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 AGStoneCircleArchavatar

Potty Five Words: "Remus' Revelation"


A coward... he fumed, Disapparating quickly. His lack of concentration caused him to arrive at The Burrow, instead of his own flat. Remus Lupin stood for a moment, composing his thoughts. He could see Arthur through the kitchen window and wondered if he could sneak away without being noticed. However, Arthur happened to look out and spotted him.

"Remus!" he cried, "What a pleasant surprise! Come in. Molly's got some freshly baked scones and a pot of dirigible plum jam. Kettle's on. Won't you stay for tea?"

"Well, actually," Remus hesitated. He felt terribly lonely and his argument with Harry had upset him so much that he didn't feel like going home. He had news of Harry, Ron, and Hermione that he knew would interest Arthur. Nobody waited for him to answer, but Arthur threw open the door and quickly ushered him into the house.

"Remus! How are you? How's Tonks?" Molly asked.

"She's all right," he mumbled. She hugged him warmly, with tears in her bright brown eyes. "You look so thin! Come in! Have some tea. Sit down."

It was such a friendly invitation that he couldn't refuse, and the teacups were already floating towards the table. He sank miserably into a chair and watched as the teapot came drifting over, too. He didn't know how conspicuously unhappy he looked until Molly said: "Remus, something's wrong, we can tell. Do you have bad news for us?"

"No," he said, trying to smile. "Everything's fine." He paused. "I saw them. They are quite safe. The... twins? How are they? What—"

Molly's teaspoon fell clattering on the floor. "Fred and George are working on a new… project," Arthur began.

"Really? What is it?" Remus asked with interest. He needed to occupy himself with something to avoid thinking about Harry's words and Dora's pregnancy, his own fears.

"It's called Potterwatch," Arthur continued excitedly.

"Potterwatch?" Remus muttered slightly puzzled. "What is that about?"

"It is a radio station that tells the truth about the current situation." Arthur sipped his tea. "But what were you saying? Did you see the kids? What did they say? Where are they?"

Remus looked uncomfortable, but forced a smile onto his face. "They're at Grimmauld Place. They seem well protected. Mad-Eye's enchantments are keeping Snape from entering the house, so no worries there. They're getting on with their plans, I think." He took a sip of his tea, trying not to sound bitter.

Molly, who had been listening intently, asked in a worried voice: "Have they been eating properly?" Remus didn't know what to say, so he just nodded his head, silently. "And these plans," Molly continued, "did they say what they were going to do next?"

"No," Remus replied. "They didn't." Molly looked away, disappointed.

Arthur looked curiously at Remus, sensing his unwillingness to discuss the matter. "Remus, would you like to hear more about Potterwatch?" Arthur asked, changing the subject.

Remus nodded. "When did it start?" he asked, grateful for the momentary distraction. "And who else is involved?"

Arthur leaned forward, a gleam in his eye. "You remember Lee Jordan? The twins' friend from Hogwarts?" Remus nodded. "Well, he does a broadcast from different places so they can't be tracked. Everyone who's on air will use a different codename to identify themselves. George is Rapscallion, Fred's Rapier, Lee is River,—"

"And I can be… Romulus!" Remus interrupted. "I'd like to join them. If they need me..." Remus's voice faltered and he stared into his teacup.

"Of course they need you," Arthur said encouragingly. "Anybody would be glad to have your dulcet tones speaking to everybody."

"What about Nymphadora?" Molly asked. "You could add a fresh perspective, as a father-to-be."

Remus added in a serious voice, "I don't have the faintest idea what a father-to-be would suggest in these difficult times."

"Yes, you should probably stay with Nymphadora and protect her," Molly said. "She will need a lot of support now."

Remus didn't reply. He just sighed in a resigned manner and glanced out the window. In a trance, he remembered the day Dora told him she loved him more than anything and that she didn't care what other people would think or say. His heart sank as he thought of the fact she was ostracized because of her love and his condition. He felt so guilty for wanting to leave her and never see the baby they were having together. He was convinced that the best thing he could do would be to stay away from Dora, but now he was second-guessing this decision. Harry had been quite right, much to Remus' dismay. Standing up, he donned his cloak again. Just then, Fred Apparated into the field next to the Burrow, then bounded over the garden gate and into the kitchen.

"Remus!" exclaimed Fred. "How are you? Have you heard anything about Harry and the others?"

Remus nodded, "Yes, I have actually just come from seeing them. They're fine. But Arthur was just telling me about your Potterwatch idea. I would like to join you if you'll have me." He added, quietly, looking hopeful.

Fred clapped him on the back. "Absolutely! We'd be honored to have you as part of our team. We need someone who can give our listeners expert advice about protecting oneself against the Dark Arts and Death Eater attacks."

"I can certainly do that!" Remus agreed. "When and where will the next broadcast be?" He grinned for the first time in days. He was looking forward to doing something useful at last. "I've thought of my codename already. It's Romulus."

"Nice one," Fred said. "I'm Rapier, so they'll get the point of my words."

"Very clever," Remus laughed.

"Now, before you two get absorbed in your plans too much, you both need a good square meal, and Remus, perhaps you should let Fred tell us what news he has for us," Molly finished. She pushed Fred into a chair and placed a steaming cup of tea before him.

"Thanks," Fred said. "I wonder if you've all heard that the chief Death Eater is using the Ministry to discredit Harry by suggesting that he had something to do with Dumbledore's death?"

Arthur nodded gravely. "Yes," he said. "They have been feeding stories to the public about him. The Daily Prophet is under the Ministry's influence and gladly spreads these stories."

"The compulsory registration of all Muggle-born witches and wizards—"

"Compulsory registration?" Remus interrupted.

"Oh, yes, I've just seen it in the Prophet. What next?" Fred wondered. "We've got to inform everyone about the truth Let's go, Romulus!" Fred was impatient. "George is waiting for me in Dalton-le-Dale. We are going to broadcast our next Potterwatch report from there."

"Did you leave Stonehenge then?" Molly asked.

"Yes, it's too risky to stay in one place for long," replied Fred. "So, Romulus, George'll be chuffed to have you on board! Do you think we could get going soon, though?"

"Absolutely! Ready whenever you are! Just lead the way!" They waved good-bye to Arthur and Molly, hopped over the garden wall and Disapparated. When they landed in the clearing, George appeared, accompanied by Lee Jordan.

"Remus!" they both shouted in unison, wringing his hand.

He laughed, "Call me Romulus, Rapscallion."

"Okay, Romulus, the broadcast is in one hour. We'll be setting up over here in this abandoned mill. River," George motioned to Lee, "will start with a wrap-up of the week's major events. Then, details of the Ministry's actions against the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who."

"What if Death Eaters hear the password? Then they'll be able to hear everything," Remus said.

George grinned. "It wouldn't do them any good. Anyway, it's very unlikely that they'll figure out the password since it changes after every program."

The four wizards entered the mill. Shabby though it looked from the outside, it had been tidied up on the inside, and magically altered so that it was both spacious and equipped with everything they needed. In the middle of the floor sat a large box.

"This is it!" Lee announced. "Our transmitter!" They gathered around the box and Fred showed Remus how it worked. Fifteen minutes later, they were ready to start. Lee was singing the theme song when the transmitter's lights glowed green signaling the start of the news reports. "Good evening, witches, wizards, Muggles, house-elves and other magical and non-magical beings. We are joined tonight by a new, fearless, truth-loving reporter, who'll work tirelessly to protect Muggles and all Magical mischief-makers everywhere! So, Romulus, what would you like to say to our listeners?"

Remus began, "Harry, if you're listening, I want you to know that I thought about what you said to me. I regret that we left things that way. You were right. You're wiser than me."

"What else would you say?" a puzzled Lee asked.

"We are all behind you and know you're doing your best to end this," Remus paused, unsure of what else to say.

Sensing this silence could last a while, Lee motioned to George, "Now is the time for you to do your thing, Rapscallion," he announced quickly.

"Thanks, River," George said and swiftly took a sip of water from his handy dandy expanding water bottle before starting his report. "Muggles need to be on the lookout for unusual behavior of their wizard neighbors. Death Eaters attack anyone that amuse them."

"You'll be safe, then!" Fred teased. "But for the rest of the news I will hand over to River."

George turned to Remus and said, "Remus, it sounds as though you and Harry had some sort of exchange recently. Can you tell me any more about how he and Ron are doing?"

Remus smiled, "He, Ron, and Hermione are all right. They're taking care of some things that Dumbledore wanted done. And they don't want anyone to join them. Harry made it clear that they didn't want my help, but he thought I should take care of my own family. And he was right."

George nodded, clapping him on the shoulder, "Good for you, Remus. You've made the right choice."

"I just wish I had figured it out sooner," Remus admitted with a sad smile.

George smiled, "Better late than never, old boy. Cheer up!"





 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #90 stats

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:37 pm

These stats were first posted by PatPat - Oct 2, 2008 1:16 am (#704 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 AGStoneCircleArchavatar

Statistics for Story 90
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Julia H.   58
  Verity Weasley   82
  Potteraholic   91
  Swedish-Short-Snout   2
  mona amon   10
  Dryleaves   21
  PatPat   39
  freshwater   9
  Quinn Crockett   14
  legolas returns   15
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 341
Total Words:: 1705
Last Submission Date: #701, October 2, 2008, 12:12 AM (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 5 days, 1 hour, 54 minutes






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #90 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:39 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 6:55 am (#2921 of 2960) [Edited Dec 30, 2010 2:45 am] on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 AGStoneCircleArchavatar

Post-Story Comments for Story #90, Volume IX,
Potty Five Words: "Remus' Revelation"

This story was written from September 26, 2008 to October 2, 2008. Ten writers contributed to the story, which is 1,705 words long. Six of the ten writers posted feedback.

- PatPat, Oct 2, 2008 1:31 am: I'd say this was one of our medium stories. It was a good plot, but we got tripped up a couple of times with canon and trying to keep to individual ideas of where the story should go. We all have our own ideas, but it is the nature of Five-Words that the story rarely goes in the expected direction. The key is to relax and have fun! As always, we managed to pull together a story that seemed to drag in places and make a nice little tale.

One comment: Please make sure you read the comments at the end of posts. Sometimes they indicate that the story is finished. If you have an idea for a better ending to a story, that's great! But, please post an explanation of what you are thinking so others can follow. Also, bear in mind that compiling takes a lot of time and effort. (It's not as easy as it looks!) Please be sure that you really feel more is needed to further the plot of the story before making additions. Remember there's always another story to tell!

- Potteraholic, Oct 2, 2008 8:27 pm: Wow, the 90th story! In 3 years! The anniversary of Five Words here on the Harry Potter FFF is coming up next week. That averages out to about 30 stories per year. Not bad for people creating a story by posting in from around the world and different times of the day over the course of some days, a few weeks, or even, *** gasp***, over a month!

I agree, PatPat, about the story having a good plot, but having places that dragged a bit. I think, sometimes, we describe things that don't need to be described in much detail which can be easily inferred by a casual reader. And re: having our own ideas for the story, yeah, I guess we all have them, but it's true, we have to give them up sometimes, for the greater good. I encourage folks who have a particular vision for how a story should go to the new Writing Contest, #50 (a momentous number). The theme is Quidditch, which at first thought, might not be your thing, but Uncle Brad, who's in charge of this particular contest, has provided lots of scope and breadth for this topic. Who knows, you might find something you like?

- Dryleaves, Oct 2, 2008 9:01 pm: Some thoughts on the previous story: I didn't contribute much to it, as I was visiting my parents and didn't have as much time as I usually have, and I didn't have my books, so I couldn't look up all the Potterwatch things I wanted to look up. I think Remus' sadness was very well portrayed in the story, but I had maybe thought the revelation would be more dramatic. Still, all revelations aren't, and I think the story showed how his thoughts went and how he came to his final decision.

- Verity Weasley, Oct 2, 2008 9:52 pm: Well done PatPat, you did a great job with the compiling, especially after those last few posts were added on the end. It was a pleasant story to be a part of. I think the characterisation of Lupin was very authentic. His revelation wasn't dramatic, but it doesn't necessarily have to be, to fit his character. He tends to be thoughtful and I think just mulling something over for a while is the sort of thing he would do. The story did take an interesting turn, and I think we probably didn't do Potterwatch justice, as part of Lupin's story, but it can always be revisited in the future!

- Quinn Crockett, Oct 2, 2008 10:15 pm: I think my only comment on the previous story is that I don't feel we had Molly and Arthur and the twins show much (if any) concern for what was happening with, especially, Ron (and Harry and Hermione too). At one point we even have Arthur completely changing the subject! We also had them immediately accept Lupin at face value (that he's not an impostor) which was a bit out of character for Arthur, in my view. But I actually really liked they way the story turned out. Bravo, everyone!

- Julia H., Oct 3, 2008 5:03 am: I would comment on the previous story but I see what I would say has already been said by others. I agree with most of the comments above (including the ones about PatPat's work!)






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 8:11 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #91

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:40 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Oct 9, 2008 10:40 pm (#1038 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Jocund10

Potty Five Words: "Jocunda Sykes: Aviatrix Extraordinaire"


Jocunda's transatlantic flight was scheduled for the next morning. She was checking her broom carefully. A small compass was attached to the polished oak handle, but some of the tail-twigs were out of alignment. Jocunda first tried to straighten them before resorting to clipping. Her time was limited and she still had to pack some gifts for friends in Aix-en-Provence and double-check her map. She'd never used a Muggle map before. It would've proved challenging, if she had not put a spell on it so that it could magically indicate the route with flashing lights.

She had been criticized by many in her community for this trip. Her father was absolutely against it. He often traveled by Floo Powder, but felt that broom travel was far too insecure.

"Why would anyone want to perch on a stick like a fwooper? Why would they risk frostbite?" he used to ask her whenever she spoke about her plans. She, however, only laughed and said, "Even Muggles fly, Dad."

The Daily Prophet had asked for a pre-flight interview and the reporter would be arriving in a few minutes. Jocunda did a few final adjustments, then set the broom aside to prepare for her meeting. She hoped it wouldn't take too long, as she had invited a few friends to celebrate her transatlantic adventure with her. The food had been specially ordered from a famous restaurant called Witches' Wishes. It provided all sorts of delightfully delicious and widely popular savories, beverages, and desserts. There would be music and dancing but Jocunda would have to leave early to prepare herself. Fortunately, her best friend Elvendork had organized everything for the party, so she didn't have to.

A man suddenly Apparated next to her. She started and shrieked in surprise because he'd Apparated right inside her living room. Bad manners! she thought, as he bumped into the bag she had packed for the trip. "Please be careful, Mr...?" she said.

"Skeeter, Reginald Skeeter. But you can call me Reg," he said with an oily smile.

"Pleased to meet you," Jocunda replied. She didn't like the looks of this reporter, but she had already agreed to the interview so she politely gestured to the squashy sofa in front of the fireplace. "Shall we start?" Jocunda asked, warily.

"Certainly," Reginald began. "Tell me, what made you decide to attempt such a dangerous undertaking?"

Jocunda sighed. She had been talking to her father about her decision and was ready to put the subject to rest. "Let's just say that boundaries are there to be crossed, aren't they? And why should Muggles have all the fun? If Lindbergh and Earhart can do it in their clumsy metal contraptions, why can't I do it on my trusty Oakshaft 79?" She folded her arms across her chest and stared at him defiantly.

"Right," he said, "and how did you train for flying such a great distance?"

"I think that's a fair question Mr. Skeeter. I have been training for over a year flying every weekend. I travel mostly at night, but I have been including some midday flights at high altitudes to prepare for all different weather and take advantage of thermals and jet streams."

Reginald didn't have the faintest idea what Jocunda was talking about. He sneered and said, "There must be something else for an attractive young witch such as yourself to be doing with your time! Like starting a family. Is there a young man for whom your heart beats passionately? One who'll be waiting for you, longing to take you home safely?" He leaned towards her, smiling his oily smile.

Jocunda leaned back. "I can't see what relevance this is. I'm sure your readers would be more interested in hearing about my plans for my transatlantic flight."

"Miss Sykes, our readers will be fascinated by every aspect of your extraordinary life."

Just then the doorbell rang. "Are you expecting someone?" Mr. Skeeter asked.

"Just my friend Elvendork," replied Jocunda and stood up, grateful for the opportunity to drop the conversation. "I must end now, Mr. Skeeter. I have to let Elvendork in. We have discussed the topics that the readers of your paper need to be informed about so, good day," Jocunda said, curtly.

"Elvendork?" pressed Reginald. "Is that a young gentleman? Are you involved?"

"Mr. Skeeter," said Jocunda, "I must ask you to leave now." She steered him toward the door, just as a pretty young witch pushed it open and stepped inside. "Oh good, Jocunda, you're here. I . . ." Elvendork stopped at the sight of Mr. Skeeter, who looked disappointed.

"Mr. Skeeter was just leaving," Jocunda said to Elvendork, pushing Reginald through the door.

"Good-bye, Mr. Skeeter!" Elvendork slammed the door and turned to Jocunda. "Are you ready for the party? It's going to be magic! I've got all your favorite music here and all the Quidditch team members are coming. Everyone's really excited."

"Excellent!" Jocunda exclaimed in a ‘bouncy on the spot’ voice. "I want to see all of them before I go. They all helped me become the broom virtuoso that I am today!”

"If you don't say so yourself!" laughed Elvendork.

"Modesty does not become me. You know that, Elvie!" The two women giggled amiably as they began bustling around the room preparing for the party.

A moment later, Elvendork turned to her friend. "Have you finished all the preparations for your trip?"

Jocunda nodded, "Almost. I just have to check my goggles carefully. I've put an Impervius charm on them but it keeps wearing off after a couple of hours. If this spell doesn't stick, then I might have to try a bubble-head charm instead. At least the weather is looking good right now."

Elvendork nodded, "Yes everything looks great. I know you'll be absolutely fine." She smiled encouragingly, before returning to the party preparations. Just as Elvendork finished arranging the table, the doorbell rang again and made Jocunda jump for joy. A minute later, the room was filled with her friends, talking and laughing excitedly. A large, burly young man named Karl Broadmoor picked Jocunda up and swung her around.

"Jo!" he cried. "What an adventure!" He had a deep voice, and even deeper brown eyes, which were now looking directly into Jocunda's.

"Put me down, silly. I need to finish tonight in one piece, or you will have to fly across the Atlantic for me! And I won't allow that to happen." Karl looked sheepish as he set her down gently, but Jocunda laughed and cuffed him lightly on the shoulder. Loud music came from the Wizard's wireless and they all started dancing and singing along with the popular song, 'Love Casts Its Spell' by the 'Wacky Wizards'. Jocunda and Karl started doing a complicated dance that made the couple look like a pair of prancing bumblebees.

"You're the jarvey's jumper, Jo," sang Karl as he spun her around again, grinning broadly.

'...with a swish and a flick, your heart takes flight; with a shower of sparks, into the night and love casts a spell on you and on me...'

"This is a cracker of a song!" Karl said, looking sheep-eyed at Jocunda. "It'll remind me of this evening ...forever."

"Honestly, Karl, I'm just flying across the Atlantic! I'll be back before you know it." She disentangled herself from his embrace. "Let's go join the party. I'm starving!" She led him to the table where the delicious smell of roasted goose beckoned, in addition to fat, crispy Cornish Pasties, roasted potatoes, and treacle tart. Jocunda piled her plate high with some of everything then sat down to eat.

"Careful, your broom may not be able to budge if you keep eating like that!" Elvendork joked.

"It's a good job you're doing on that treacle tart, Elvie! Your broomstick might actually snap if you try to fly anywhere on it!" Jocunda fired back, chuckling.

Elvendork glanced across at Karl, who burst out laughing.

"Touché!” she said, smiling. Then she held up her glass for a toast and waited for the assembled guests to be quiet. "All joking aside, this party is in honor of our wonderful and dedicated friend, Jo. She's been training for this momentous occasion for many years and tomorrow wizards and witches everywhere will know her name. Tomorrow she will attempt to make history. But whatever happens we'll always be proud of her. To Jocunda!" Elvendork concluded.

"Jocunda!" chorused the guests, raising their glasses in unison. Jocunda blushed as she raised her glass in turn. A few tears shone among the smiles, then everybody emptied their glasses.

A couple of hours later Jocunda realized it was time for bed, and said goodnight to all her guests. Karl gave her a goodnight kiss. "'Night, Jo."

The next morning, Jocunda wasted no time in bed. She got up early, got dressed, and ate breakfast. After once again having checked all her equipment, she prepared to Apparate to Dover, from where she would begin her flight. The weather was unusually good. No clouds could be seen, which Jocunda thought a good omen. In eager anticipation, she Disapparated, and arrived in John O'Groats, overshooting her target. Steady on, Jo!” she chided herself. Focus! She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Right, I suppose I better get back to where I'm meant to be. Setting out from here seems appropriate since I'm about to set out on the longest journey of my life, so far.

Returning to her scheduled departure point, at the opposite end of the country, she prepared to fly over the English Channel. Donning a pair of goggles, she got on her broom, and looked up at the sky. John o'Groats to Dover, she thought, ironically. I've gone from coast to coast in Britain and now I'm going across the ocean to another coast, far away.

Snapping out of her reverie, Jocunda flew into the sky.






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:26 pm; edited 2 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #91 stats

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:42 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Oct 9, 2008 10:51 pm (#1040 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Jocund10

Statistics for Story 91
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic   78
  azi   3
  Dryleaves   39
  Verity Weasley   98
  Quinn Crockett   33
  legolas returns   5
  PatPat   43
  Julia H.   29
  Snuffles   1
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 329
Total Words: 1645
Last Submission Date: #1034, October 9, 2008, 2:00 PM (PatPat)
Total Time to Create Story: 6 days, 5 hours, 33 minutes






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:51 pm; edited 2 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #91 post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:46 pm

These post-story comments were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 24, 2010 6:55 am (#2922 of 2960) [Edited Dec 21, 2010 6:33 am]on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Jocund10

Post-Story Comments for Story #91, Volume IX,
Potty Five Words: "Jocunda Sykes: Aviatrix Extraordinaire"

This story was written from October 2, 2008 to October 9, 2008. Nine writers contributed to the story, which is 1,645 words long. Six of the nine writers posted feedback, as did 1 non-participant.

- Quinn Crockett, Oct 9, 2008 11:42 pm: Great work everyone. My only comment is that we have her agreeing to the interview about her flight, but then right away we have her thinking something like, "she thought she'd put the matter to rest". So why did she bother agreeing to the interview? Know what I mean?

But I really like this story a lot. It could have gone so many directions. I hope we revisit Jocunda soon.

- Potteraholic, Oct 10, 2008 5:17 am: I liked the story a lot; not having a lot of canon to stick to gave us lots of opportunity to be creative. LOL, we still managed to get confused along the way, but nothing that detracts from the flow of the final story, I think. And about Jo wanting the interview to end quickly, she might have only bedgrudgingly agreed to it in the first place. That's the cool thing about Five Words, the different interpretations that arise from a reading of the same 5 words by different people.

I also loved the little details of the HP-world that we included: the oily reporter, Reg Skeeter (Rita's predecessor ), and Karl Broadmoor, a Quidditch player quickly come to mind. And I agree, it would be great to have another Jocunda story one of these days! I'm all for writing stories about characters we know next-to-nothing about but who must undoubtedly be interesting folks if JKR saw fit to create them in the first place!

- Finn BV, Oct 10, 2008 6:05 am: I enjoyed reading the Jocunda Sykes story. First of all, great pick for a subject matter. I too love those stories that explore new territory. I think also the length of the story was appropriate. It was a nice little moment in her life… it didn't go on forever. I didn't read post-by-post, just the summary, so I don't know how it progressed, but it was very well tied together, I thought. Good work!

- Verity Weasley, Oct 10, 2008 7:29 am: I was in a bit of a rush when I posted before so I didn't have time to make post story comments on our previous story. I'm really just echoing previous comments, but I agree it was fun to write about new characters. I thought the interview was handled quite well and merely reflected Jocunda's discomfort with Reg and his particular line of questioning.

- Julia H., Oct 10, 2008 6:18 pm: I like the whole story as it is and it was fun to participate in writing it. (I could contribute very little this time, which was an inevitable change after having the highest number of posts twice! You know, sooner or later, you have to start doing other things as well.)

- Dryleaves, Oct 10, 2008 7:56 pm: I think others have said what I wanted to say about the last story, but I must say that I really liked the character of Jocunda and agree with those who thought they wanted to see more of her. I think she is a witch who is very likely to seek new adventures.

- Julia H., Oct 10, 2008 8:39 pm: Re: Jocunda: I would really like to see her transatlantic flight in one of our stories.

- PatPat, Oct 10, 2008 9:38 pm: Regarding the last story, I like the way it turned out. The stories about lesser known characters are always a lot of fun because we don't have to worry as much about contradicting canon. I don't think we need to worry about details like the interview. It's so interesting to see how different people interpret the same things! That's one of my favorite things about Five-Words!






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 8:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Potty Game: Five Words, Happy Birthday! Year 3

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:48 pm

This post was originally made by Finn BV - Oct 10, 2008 4:08 am (#1045 of 2998)



Potty Game: Five Words!


Almost to the hour, the "Potty Game: Five Words" is turning three years old — October 10, 2005, 2:17 am, according to current forum time, though with all the changes in the forum clock since then it actually occurred on late October 9. Since our existence, we have had dozens of members of the Harry Potter Lexicon FanFiction Forum partake in this simple yet endlessly enjoyable game. In the game, there are no boundaries, save that you must add five words, no more and no less (though there are always mistakes ), to your post that continue the story told through other members' five words. Strung together, the five words will make a much, much longer story.

Please take some time to reminisce about the history of the Five Words from our 1-year birthday celebration of October 9, 2006. This little tidbit, once again, is STILL true, to the best of my knowledge (Potteraholic may correct me on this one): We invented the "Potty Five Words Crown," given to the poster who held the record for most number of posts in a story; the crown, I believe, is still currently retained by Tazzygirl (Kristina), with a thrilling 176 posts in the story "Just Another Week at the Ministry" on April 23, 2006.

I have already expressed my thanks for Tazzygirl, Potteraholic, PatPat, and Kip Carter in an earlier post, but once again, their continued devotion to the game is invaluable and makes me love this Forum. I hope everyone understands what a vast amount of work it is to compile a story — typing it up, checking for grammatical and spelling errors, counting words, tallying statistics, formatting correctly. These people are the best!

And now, as we become nonegenarians in terms of number of stories, I invite each and every one of you to take the opportunity to play some ultimate Five Words: for this entire story, instead of posting five words, post... (drumroll, please) FIFTEEN WORDS! Wow, wasn't that exciting, five more words from the old birthday celebration, and it's going to make statistics even more of a nightmore, but hey, I'm not in charge of that anymore! (Just kidding PAH.) Actually, it is going to make statistics easier, because instead of making the word tripling exclusively for today, it's for the entire story. However, I advise to all that we keep this story slightly on the short side in terms of posts, because it's going to get three times as long in the same amount of time.

Think of everything you can do with fifteen words! The possibilities to steer a plot are endless. But, please, before, hitting "Post Message," count your words to see if they add up to fifteen. Like, double check. It will help.

Let the festivities begin, and thank you for staying by Five Words!

—Finn BV, October 10, 2008, 4:08 a.m.





 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 8:05 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #92

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:51 pm

This story was first posted by PatPat - Oct 16, 2008 12:54 am (#1179 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 BlackGoldHPavatar

Potty Five Words: "The Secret Past of Dean Thomas"


Mr. and Mrs. Granger were arguing over their copy of Dental Health Monthly when there was a knock on their front door. "Who could that be, Egeus?" Portia asked.

"I'll get it," he responded. He opened the door to see Michelle Thomas, their new neighbor looking very distressed. "What's the matter, Michelle? You look like you could use a cup of tea."

"Haven't you got anything stronger?" asked Michelle, stepping over the threshold. "I could use a brandy, quite honestly, after the day I've had." Egeus showed her to the sitting room, where he poured her a cup of brandy.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Well, I've just received a letter from my cousin Dean— I think your daughter Hermione knows him? Anyway, he wants to know if I know anything about who his father is. Well I really don't know what to tell him. I know the truth but I didn't know if his mum wanted him to know. So I decided to visit his—"

"Just a moment" interrupted Portia, laying a gentle hand on Michelle's wrist as Egeus handed her a piece of parchment covered in neat, curly handwriting. It was Hermione's latest letter from Hogwarts. The snowy owl which had delivered it was now perched on the mantelpiece.

"This just came from our Hermione as well," Egeus began.

"We're rather worried ourselves" Portia added quietly. "It seems a war is going on in the wizarding community and the Minister of Magic is having difficulty dealing with it properly."

"Sounds like our Prime Minister, Michelle said. "Politicians! What do they know about…"

"It seems," Portia interrupted her, "as if they had lost control completely. The accidents our papers write about are also the consequences of the wizarding war. Hermione said that the Brockdale Bridge and the hurricane were the work of Death Eaters." She looked at her husband. "That's what they're called, isn't it?" she asked him, curiously.

He nodded soberly, "Yes, dear," he shivered. "Not a very nice name, is it?"

Michelle looked from one to the other. "Well this makes it even more difficult to decide what I should tell Dean about his father!"

Portia nodded, sympathetically. "But perhaps it's better if he knows the truth," she advised. "Would it help to have someone else there as moral support when you tell him that his father was a wizard? We could join you, couldn't we Egeus?"

"If you think that would be helpful to Dean, I'd be very grateful for your presence," sighed Michelle. "I'll call him to let him know I'm coming."

"There are no telephones at Hogwarts, dear," Portia replied. "But this Hogwarts owl is still here."

"Didn't Hermione say there was a Hogsmeade weekend coming up soon?" Egeus asked. "You could plan to meet Dean then."

Portia nodded, "Yes that's a wonderful idea!"

"I guess I could do that" Michelle replied thoughtfully. "But how will I get there?"

"We'll all go. It would be lovely to visit Hermione, and see the wizarding village! I'll send this owl back to Hermione and see if she can tell us how to get there. She'll figure something out. She's good at that sort of thing," Portia declared.

Three days later, the three of them waited nervously for the Knight Bus at the designated spot. It arrived on time. They boarded, paid the fare with coins left over from their last trip to Diagon Alley, and found themselves three squashy armchairs on the top deck. Once seated, they went over their plan. "Hermione will meet us in The Three Broomsticks with Dean at eleven. Then she's going to show us around the village once you have had your talk." Portia said, quietly.

Michelle nodded. "I hope Dean doesn't get too upset when he hears the news." Just then, the bus gave a sudden lurch and jumped from their quiet suburban street to a road in London outside a small grubby-looking pub. All three fell from their chairs as the bus stopped short in front of The Leaky Cauldron. Most of their fellow passengers departed and a few more got on. Picking herself up from the floor, Portia dusted off her clothes and then helped Michelle up as well. The pimply-faced conductor motioned them to sit down. Michelle announced, "They should really put some seat belts on these armchairs. "

"I know what you mean, dear," agreed Portia. "Egeus and I considered wearing gum shields but that would just make us look ridiculous."

"I doubt you would differ much from the other passengers," whispered Michelle conspiratorially, nodding her head towards a pair of wizards nearby. Each of them wore a black cloak with a hood that almost completely covered their faces. "There must be a Grim Reaper convention going on," she mumbled. Portia looked out the window and bit her lip to keep from laughing.

Finally disembarking in Hogsmeade, the three Muggles made their way down the High Street, looking for The Three Broomsticks. They stopped from time to time to gaze at the wonders of the street that assailed their eyes everywhere they looked. They, in turn, were also attracting a few stares from wizards and witches who had noticed their Muggle attire. Some of the shops seemed to be closed or going out of business. The three adults cast increasingly anxious glances everywhere and Portia suddenly exclaimed, "Look! I think it's there!"

The entrance of The Three Broomsticks was crowded with Hogwarts students, but Michelle and the Grangers managed to squeeze through. They spotted Hermione and Dean immediately, seated at a table with a dark-haired bespectacled boy and a gangly youth with flame red hair. Hermione jumped up when she saw them and waved them over. After introductions all around, Michelle sat next to Dean. She wondered how she was going to broach the subject of his father in front of all his friends. But she needn't have worried.

"Let's go to Zonko's, Ron and Harry," Hermione said, motioning the two boys to follow her. She kissed her parents and left the inn. Dean ordered his cousin a butterbeer and waited expectantly for her to tell him what she knew about his father. He was wondering why Mr. and Mrs. Granger were with her. He hadn't realized his cousin knew Hermione's parents.

"It's good to see you," he said, smiling at Michelle. "How are you, Mr. and Mrs. Granger?"

Michelle didn't smile back. She was too busy concentrating on what she was about to say. "Dean, you wrote to me recently and asked me about your father. Well, I have some information for you about that. I'm worried about how you are going to react to the news though." She faltered, while Dean looked at her curiously.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure I can deal with it, Michelle. I'm nearly of age, after all."

Michelle nodded and began explaining. "Your blood status isn't what you think it is. You're not 100% Muggle. Your father was a wizard, although your mother never knew. He was recruited by Death Eaters—"

"Wait!" Dean interrupted. "How could Mum not know that my Dad was a wizard? I always thought I was Muggleborn!"

Michelle nodded, sadly, "Yes. He never wanted his family to know about his background. Thought it'd be too dangerous for you and your Mum," she paused for a minute, taking a deep breath. "Apparently, he was killed when he refused to cooperate with the Death Eater's plans to torture his Muggle neighbors. My brother overheard my Gran reading the letter, from the Ministry of Magic, which explained the circumstances of his death. She was reading it to my Granddad twelve years ago. I didn't tell anyone about this. My brother and I agreed that we had to respect your father's wish. But he's your father, and as you say, you'll soon be of age..."

"Thank you," Dean said. He was rather pale. "So he didn't just leave us then. All this time I've been thinking he just left us..." He broke off and stared into the distance. He had secretly hoped to see his father one day even though he had felt angry and disappointed with him. Now he knew he never would. He was trying to picture this unknown man, his wizard father, a Death Eater, a victim of the first war that was now rearing its ugly head once more. He took a deep breath and asked, "So, he was a Death Eater, then?"

"He never joined," Michelle explained, "although they were apparently interested in him very much. They tried to force him to do all sorts of things he didn't want to do."

"He must have known something important if they wanted him to join so badly," Dean said slowly. His eyes narrowed. "Maybe he was good at some particular kind of magic and the Death—"

"There is no point thinking about it now. We will never know," Michelle interrupted.

Portia felt it was time to put in a word. "Dean, I'm sure you'll want to understand him. Remember he was a brave man, who died refusing to help the dark forces that were sweeping through the country."

Dean nodded. He was still trying to absorb the information. "But...," he hesitated, "I don't understand why he didn't tell Mum that he was a wizard." He sat quietly reflecting for a moment before suddenly exclaiming, "But how do you know so much—" He broke off suddenly as a commotion erupted near the entrance. Some Hufflepuffs and Slytherins were in a heated argument over last week's Quidditch game. The Slytherins were getting nasty, as usual, and the noise caused Michelle and the Grangers to look up in alarm.

"You ‘Puffs shouldn't even bother to come out onto the pitch!" a Slytherin declared.

"Oi, that's enough!" demanded Rosmerta, the innkeeper.

"Gran knew everything," Michelle confessed. "She just didn't—" She broke off as a group of Slytherins approached the table.

"What is this, Rosmerta?" one of them exclaimed. "Muggles in the pub! You are really lowering your standards!"

"Out! Don't come back until you've learned some manners!" Rosmerta announced.

"Gran knew?" Dean asked, totally oblivious to the presence of the Slytherins. Michelle glanced nervously at the group. "Don't worry; they're leaving. Go on."

"All I know is, Gran knew everything. But a couple of years ago, before she died, she told me. She didn't want to take the secret to the grave. She thought perhaps one day you would be curious and want information about your father. So she told me exactly what I've told you." Michelle paused. "I think you have a right to know."

"But Mum...what about—"

"Dean, look, I've told you everything. It's sketchy, I know, but it's all Gran managed to tell me."

"But what about Mum?" Dean said again. "Doesn't she have a right to know as well? He was her husband and she had a child with him."

Michelle hesitated. She looked at the Grangers, who were watching the teenage boy with great sympathy. "After all this time, I'm not sure that it would make any difference," she said. "But I'll tell her, if you want. It'll probably be best coming from me, rather than you."

Dean nodded, absentmindedly taking a swig of butterbeer. "Let's go outside," he said.

"A splendid idea!" Egeus agreed, relieved that Dean and Michelle's conversation had finally resolved itself. "Hermione said to meet her and the others out front when we’re finished," he added.

They all got up wearily, eager to escape into the bright sunshine. They saw Hermione standing outside with the two boys. They joined the group and began strolling down the street. Dean felt the fog of many years of uncertainty finally lift and disappear. "Michelle, thank you for explaining all of this to me. It does help to know that Dad didn’t desert us," Dean said. "Now, I can make my peace with him."






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:26 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #92 stats and post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:56 pm

These stats were first posted by PatPat - Oct 16, 2008 1:26 am (#1181 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 BlackGoldHPavatar

Statistics for Story 92
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Verity Weasley   32
  Potteraholic   35
  Finn BV   2
  Quinn Crockett   6
  Tazzygirl   1
  mona amon   2
  Julia H.   18
  Dryleaves   8
  PatPat   18
  legolas returns   1
  freshwater   9
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions:: 132 (Note: these were 15 word posts, instead of the usual 5.)
Total Words:: 1980
Last Submission Date: #1177, October 15, 2008, 6:59 AM (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 5 days, 2 hours, 11 minutes







These post-story comments were collected by Potteraholic, but were not posted in a 'post-story comments post' before the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum' site closed on April 15, 2011. So they are being posted now, here on forumotion.


Post-Story Comments for Story #92, Volume IX,
Potty Five Words: "The Secret Past of Dean Thomas"

This story was posted on October 16, 2008. Eleven writers contributed to the story, which is 1,980 words long. Six of the eleven writers posted feedback.

There were many long comments posted after this story. To help reduce the length of text visible in this post at first glance, these comments are contained inside spoiler boxes.

Comments #1
Spoiler:

Comments #2
Spoiler:

Comments #3
Spoiler:

The comments below are about a non-story related issue… the meaning of the phrase ‘Nuf said.

Comments #4
Spoiler:






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 9:10 pm; edited 13 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #93

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:00 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Oct 29, 2008 7:30 pm (#1465 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Jack-o10

Potty Five Words: "Dagbert and Rosie's Hair-Raising Halloween"


Dagbert Pips stacked his pumpkins outside his shop and waited for the hordes of customers to arrive. The Daily Prophet had reported that restrictions would be eased this year in the Ministry's transparent attempt to regain the public's support. Whatever the effect of this decision, Dagbert was determined to make the most of this Halloween. His idea? A special offer: Buy three pumpkins and get a free pouch of pumpkin seeds, special holiday flavor mix! Dagbert and his wife Rosie hoped that business would get back to normal now that the Ministry had seen sense and people could celebrate Halloween openly again.

Rosie exited the shop door, a magically painted sign in her hands. "Look, Darling! Here they come already!" She pointed to a group of witches and wizards rushing toward the shop, giggling excitedly. There were several children, who were leading the pack. Rosie waved her wand and the sign floated above the pumpkins. The group paused to read it:


Must Have! Limited Supply! Free Holiday Pumpkin Seeds with Purchase of Three Pips' Pumpkins!


"Now, that's a good offer!" a red-haired little boy shouted gleefully. "Look at this one! It's enormous!" He reached for one of the biggest pumpkins sending the whole pile tumbling to the ground. Luckily, Dagbert quickly cast a spell to pile up the pumpkins again.

"No problem," he smiled at the boy. "But be careful next time!" The child was peeping out from behind his mother, looking scared. The mother quickly chose three pumpkins and hurried away with a slightly pink expression, leaving some coins behind.

Another witch now approached the shop. It was Celestina Warbeck and she was humming a new tune. “Dagbert! Lovely to see you! And what good news that Pumpkins R Us is doing so well!"

"It's not, really," Dagbert answered. Our sales were greatly affected by the Halloween celebration restrictions, which were very severe. They've been lifted recently, true, but we need something to boost sales quickly. These free seeds could be fully grown in time. But they're not shifting any pumpkins now.”

Celestina stood pondering what could be done to help her friend. An idea popped up, suddenly. "Dagbert! You and Rosie must supply some pumpkins for my big Halloween concert. It is going to be a fantastic event, completely unrestricted with huge scope for decorating. It's being hosted by the Campaign for Greater Freedom for Wizards."

Dagbert smiled widely, "That's very appropriate! I'd love to help out with the decorations! I'll start carving immediately!" He wondered how many pumpkins he'd need. Looking around, he chose all the large ones, and motioned for Rosie to begin carving them.

"Dear, we need a nice variety. Can you use your special spell? The one that makes the pumpkins glow?"

Rosie nodded and raised her wand, "Gordia illuminus!" she cried. The pumpkins immediately began flashing in alternating colors: green, red, orange, and yellow. Rosie raised her wand again and began carving grotesque faces in the pumpkins. Celestina watched her and clapped her hands in delight. Many witches and wizards stopped to watch as Dagbert's jack-o'-lanterns began blinking furiously, turning that corner of Diagon Alley into a Halloween carnival.

The red-haired boy returned, dragging his mother behind him. She still seemed reluctant to loiter rather than finish shopping. "We can't stay, Freddie," she said. "We have so much shopping to do!" She suddenly recognized Celestina. "Is it the 'Singing Sorceress'?" she marveled. "I have all your records. Would you sign my copy of your 'Greatest Hits, Vol. Two'?”

“Delighted,” said Celestina in a gracious manner. “I must invite you to my concert. Here's a ticket."

Freddie's mother clutched it gleefully, stammered her thanks, and blushed bright red. "Can't wait, Miss Warbeck!” she called out as Celestina swept away in an imperial manner.

Dagbert and Rosie were busily transferring the flashing pumpkins to the venue on an orange lorry parked nearby. "Be careful and watch out for any Death Eaters!" Rosie told Dagbert. "I've heard rumors that some of them were seen in hoods, gadding about the World Cup." Dagbert nodded and set off, keeping a careful eye outward. He was not fond of driving the lorry, but trying to Disapparate with an assortment of glowing and blinking jack-o'-lanterns would have been worse.

Ten minutes later, Dagbert arrived at the large stage that had been erected for Celestina's show. "Best take 'em round this way," Glinda Crook instructed him.

The stage was festooned with long rows of fluttering live bats and garlands of dark flowers. Cobwebs hung from the rafters, laden with puffapods that were positioned to fall as soon as the singer arrived onstage. Dagbert artfully arranged his pumpkins in a fetching manner. Glinda approached him, saying, "those pumpkins provide the finishing touch and the Ministry can't do anything to stop us! We're not breaking any regulations. We're even expecting a few Ministers! Can you believe it?"

Dagbert looked suitably impressed and said, "I can hardly wait for the concert to start!"

For the next hour, Dagbert mingled with the other wizards until Rosie arrived with the rest of the decorations: some live bats to fly over the crowd during the finale. "Just in time, Rosie, dear. Now, let's just enjoy ourselves and Celestina's wonderful singing."

They mingled and the excited chattering of the crowd turned into cheers as Celestina bounded on the stage, smiling and waving at the people around her. "Happy Halloween, everyone!" she shouted. "Let's get started, shall we?" The crowd roared as she sang the opening notes of Charming My Way Into Your Cauldron. People illuminated their wands and waved them over their heads, in time to the music.

Dagbert put his arm around Rosie and said, "I'm really glad we could be a part of this special night."

Suddenly, everything went black. Dagbert heard a scream, as though someone had just been attacked. The singing and the cheering stopped abruptly as the windows rattled and the sky lit up with the eerie glow of the Dark Mark.

Rosie screamed and pointed to it, saying, "Oh, no! Dagbert, look!"

He grabbed her arm and said, "We must get out of here!" They tried to Disapparate, but they found they couldn't. The air was thick and hazy. The fans were running in all directions, frantically trying to escape. Dagbert and Rosie fled toward the side door; their orange lorry was parked in front, but it was blocked by a pair of Death Eaters. They were masked and had their wands out.

"Do you see him? He's coming!" said a large blond Death Eater named Thorfin Rowle. Dagbert reached for his wand, and Rosie went for hers as well. A spell cast by Rowle nearly hit Rosie, who ducked.

"Blood-traitors!" yelled the second Death Eater, Bertram Jugson. "You like selling to Muggles, Pumpkin Man? Don't you know that's a sure way to incur the Dark Lord’s discontent?"

"Eat squash!" Dagbert fired back, shooting a stunner at Jugson that rocketed pumpkin seeds into his chest, knocking him into a stand of rubbish bins. Rowle roared with anger and charged towards Dagbert, but Rosie popped up from behind a column, releasing some puffapods which fell on top of the unwitting Rowle just as he was about to tackle the brave pumpkin purveyor.

"Take that!" Rosie shouted, as Rowle was buried in puffapods. Jugson was being bombarded with jack-o'-lanterns that were gnawing his ears. Dagbert made sure every pumpkin left the stage. They hovered above Jugson's head right before Dagbert flicked his wand and sent them flying quickly at the Death Eater. Covering his face, Jugson tried to run after the retreating Pips couple, but he slipped on some pulpy pumpkin pieces and fell flat on his back with a sickening crunch.

Dagbert and Rosie flew to the lorry and clambered in. It roared to life at Dagbert's touch and sailed away from the chaos at the concert. Rosie swiveled round in her seat, and watched the two Death Eaters firing spells at them, to no avail. They drove around the corner and were able to quickly disappear from view. Dagbert turned to Rosie and said, exhaling deeply, "That was some concert! I wonder what happened after we left?"

"You know Celestina," replied Rosie, "She'd never let a little thing like a Death Eater ambush ruin her Halloween show!"






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #93 stats and post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:10 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Oct 29, 2008 7:31 pm (#1466 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Jack-o10

Statistics for Story 93
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic   87
  Verity Weasley   41
  Quinn Crockett   30
  Dryleaves   31
  PatPat   52
  Julia H.   6
  legolas returns   25
  Anna L. Black   5
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 277
Total Words: 1385
Last Submission Date: #1462, October 28, 2008, 1:52 AM (Quinn Crockett)
Total Time to Create Story: 10 days, 1 hour, 52 minutes






These post-story comments were collected by Potteraholic, but were not posted in a ‘post-story comments post’ before the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum' site closed on April 15, 2011. So they are being posted now, here on forumotion.


Post-Story Comments for Story #93, Volume IX,
Potty Five Words: "Dagbert and Rosie's Hair-Raising Halloween"

This story was posted on October 29, 2008. Eight writers contributed to the story, which is 1,385 words long. Five of the eight writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Oct 29, 2008 7:32 pm: Our Halloween story, the 93rd Five Words tale, is up! I think it was quite a light-hearted, entertaining one. I think we did really well choosing particular adjectives and verbs, like: imperial, festooned, pulpy, rocketed, bombarded, clambered, swiveled ...These words really make it easy to imagine the action in each scene. Looking forward to coming up with and seeing more of these specific kinds of words in the future!

I will be passing on story-starting honors to PatPat. Looking forward to how she starts the next story's first five words!

Edit: For those who didn't post in the last story, a short list of guidelines was posted earlier. You can find them here. Thanks!

- legolas returns, Oct 29, 2008 7:49 pm: Very exciting and action-packed .

- PatPat, Oct 29, 2008 10:42 pm: Well, I really like how this last story turned out. I think the new 1700 word guideline is really helping us to be concise and write a clear, entertaining story without dragging on. Well done, everyone!

Thanks, PAH, for giving me story-starting honors! I have been thinking about the kinds of stories we have done that have turned out to be my favorites. They are those that push us to exercise our creativity, where we don't always need to be worried about making some sort of cardinal sin canon error. Not that I don't love writing about our favorite main characters as much as anyone! I do! But I, also, feel that half the fun of Five Words is telling the stories of characters that we don't know as well. Especially the past lives that we know little about. So, without further ado…

- Verity Weasley, Oct 30, 2008 12:26 am: In all the excitement of the new story I forgot to post my comments about the last one. I agree PAH, that it was well-written and we had some interesting language features that really brought the story to life. It was a fun story, and the length was just right.

- Dryleaves, Oct 30, 2008 8:07 am: I agree with most of what has already been said about the previous story. I liked it (but it reminded me of a major pumpkin incident we had at home some years ago...) and I especially liked the ending sentence. Maybe a line like that is what makes people refrain from posting after a story is ended...






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 9:06 pm; edited 3 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #94

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:11 pm

This story was first posted by PatPat - Nov 3, 2008 10:15 pm (#1776 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 MMcG2avatar

Potty Five Words: "Minerva and Augusta's Defiance of You-Know-Who"


Sixteen-year-old Minerva McGonagall stepped off the Knight Bus, and she looked around for her friend who she was meeting outside the Leaky Cauldron. She spotted her approaching the pub rapidly her wand in her hand, looking frightened and breathing heavily. She glanced around nervously, then hastily stowed her wand up her sleeve.

"Minnie!" cried Augusta in a shaky voice. She was as white as a sheet and as twitchy as a cat in a waterfall.

"Augusta! You look terrible. What's happened?" Minerva asked, clutching her own wand beneath her robes.

"Not out here," Augusta replied, "I'll tell you when we get inside." She led the puzzled and anxious Minerva into the pub, and sat down at a table, located in the darkest corner, away from everybody else.

"What's the matter?" Minerva asked. "It's not like you, Auggie. I haven't seen you like this before. What's going... why all the secrecy?"

Augusta leaned across the table and said in a whisper, "I've seen them."

"Seen what?" Minerva asked. "Seen who?" She amended.

"Riddle and his gang," Augusta's voice was barely audible.

"So? What's so special about a bunch of Slytherins?"

"They are no ordinary bunch of Slytherins… They were trying to attack Muggles and Muggle-born wizards on the street as they passed by. They were hitting them with the Leg-locker curse. I tried to stop them, so they started shooting curses at me instead, in broad daylight!" Augusta said, indignantly.

Minerva shook her head in disbelief, "What did you do?"

"I did what any witch worth her wand would do. I sent some hexes their way. Tried out my new Corporialis Maximus hex, didn't I?" Augusta smiled proudly. "They left, eventually, with great difficulty," she winked.

"You're a right brammer, Auggie," Minerva said approvingly, "but I'd be very careful in future. That hex could land you in serious trouble with the Headmaster if it backfires."

Augusta shrugged her shoulders and said, "That's not important! Riddle and his gang should not get away with what they're doing! Deliberately breaking international secrecy laws! And harming innocent people! They should know better than that."

Minerva nodded emphatically and said, "He is a prefect so he really should be setting a good example to the rest of the students."

"Just because he's Slughorn’s favorite doesn't mean he's above wizard law. He is particularly unbearable in Defense Against the Dark Arts; he thinks that he knows everything. Smarmy git," Augusta grumbled.

Minerva nodded, "All the teachers think he's the best thing since collapsible cauldrons. I don't know about Professor Dumbledore, but the others seem to turn a blind eye to the things he gets up to with his loyal band of subjects, like he's laird of the manor."

The two sixth-years nodded in satisfied agreement, then looked up to see Tom Riddle approaching them with a sinister expression on his handsome face. When he reached their table, wand in his hand, the two girls rose from it quickly. The pub had gotten more crowded in the past fifteen minutes. So they had to shoulder their way towards the bar to ask the barman to tell Riddle what the lunch specials were. The bartender looked confused, but dutifully began reciting the choices. The girls pretended to be interested. But Tom showed no sign of leaving or ordering, so after a while the barman snapped at him, "Don't let me keep you!" He shuffled off grumbling under his breath.

"Nice try, Augusta" Riddle hissed, "but you won't be getting rid of me that easily. You made a big mistake earlier and I won't allow that to happen again."

Augusta glared back, before turning to Minerva and saying, "Did you need to buy anything in one of the shops?"

"I need to go to Madam Malkin's; they're supposed to have some stylish new dress robes on sale! I want a new hat as well, maybe with a bird on top."

Minerva glanced over Augusta's shoulder. Riddle was staring at them with an evil expression. His eyes momentarily shone a deep, glowing, ruby red. He continued to stare as they left the pub.

"He's really a bit creepy, isn't he?" Minerva said.

"Even more so now he is following us." Augusta looked around with a frown. "I wonder if his gang are loitering about somewhere nearby?"

"Well, surely they wouldn't just be standing in plain sight of everyone with their wands drawn? They wouldn't dare would they?" Minerva asked, glancing suspiciously down a dark alley which contained black magic shops. It seemed very shadowy and there was someone lurking in the doorway of a small abandoned shop. "Auggie! Quick! Wands out! There's someone down there!" They moved cautiously. "Keep an eye out for You-Know-Who! He's coming like a great big snake, slithering through the crowd!"

The two quickened their pace, and reached the Magical Menagerie when suddenly a deep voice made them jump and squeal in surprise. "Hello there, Minerva," said Professor Dumbledore. "You look well. You too, Augusta. What a pleasant surprise to find you going to the Magical Menagerie; I thought Flourish and—" Dumbledore stopped, cleared his throat, and said in a formal tone, "Sorry, I've got a cold and almost lost my voice."

"I hope you'll be better by the start of term. We don't want to miss Transfiguration class do we?" said Minerva eagerly. "I've been reading the new text with interest."

Dumbledore beamed happily. "I will look forward to it greatly."

The two girls said goodbye and peeped hesitantly out the shop. Riddle was nowhere to be seen, so they stepped out into a crowd of first years with their parents buying spellbooks, cauldrons, and robes. They reached Madam Malkin's and pushed open the door and squeezed inside. The shop was crowded and there was little room to maneuver. Minerva and Augusta pushed their way towards the dress robes shimmering on the hooks in the back of the shop. They rummaged through for some robes. Minnie picked up a Tartan robe and held it up in the light streaming through the shop windows.

"What a beautiful robe! I wonder how much it costs?" She looked for a tag. "Hmm, five Galleons, a little bit expensive!"

Augusta nudged her before Minerva tried on the robe. "Look who's outside the window." Outside the shop Riddle and his gang were loitering, obviously waiting for the two Gryffindors to go outside. "How will we get out of here without being seen? We need a diversion," said Augusta. She rummaged in her bag and withdrew an object that Minerva had never seen before. It was a round sphere with lots of bobbly bits.

"What does it do?" asked Minerva curiously.

"It immobilizes people for thirty seconds when they're exposed to the potion inside. Enough time for us to disappear!"

They pondered how to deploy it when the answer came to Minerva. "How about getting Tom and his gang to get it away from us? Make them think it's something they might want."

Augusta grinned and said, "That's a great idea!" Together they crept towards the door, ducking out of sight to avoid detection until the time was right to escape. "Ready, Minnie?" Augusta asked as an elderly witch left the shop clutching her purchases. "I guess it's better now than later when it would be quieter and harder to hide."

"Where will we go?" said Minerva.

"I think we should head back to the Leaky Cauldron and use Floo Powder to get home. It's the safest and quickest way! Okay, on the count of three I'll roll the Immobilizer Sphere out the door, then run as fast as you can!" Minerva nodded, opened the door, and got ready to sprint. "One, two, three!" whispered Augusta. She rolled the ball towards the gang and shouted, "Oh no my Mum's going to be so mad because I dropped Gran's pendant!"

Riddle stooped and picked the object up. The Immobilizer clicked and released the potion straight into his hands. Riddle started coughing and suddenly froze solid. The vapor permeated the small knot of Slytherins and the girls ran. Looking back, they saw that a small circle of shoppers had gathered around them, staring at them wondering what was happening. As they ran into the Leaky Cauldron they heard yells and rapid footsteps behind them. "Hurry up, Minnie! They’re catching up!" shouted Augusta.

They approached the hearth and grabbed a fistful of green powder, then looked quickly at each other. "My house?" said Minerva. "We will be safe there." She threw some powder into the fire and said, "Highland Cottage," as she stepped into the green flames.

Augusta followed quickly behind. "Highland Cottage," she muttered, just as the door banged open and Riddle came running through.

"Get her, before she goes into the Floo Network!" he yelled. The people in the pub looked stunned. It was too late, however, as Augusta begun to spin. They both arrived at Highland Cottage hot, sweaty, and covered in little piles of ash.

"Home sweet home!" Minerva smiled.

Augusta smiled back. "I think we've lost 'em, don't you?"

"Definitely!" laughed Minerva. "Serves them right!" They went into the kitchen to have a large butterbeer.

"To us!" cried Augusta.






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #94 stats and post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:14 pm

These stats were first posted by PatPat - Nov 3, 2008 10:32 pm (#1777 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 MMcG2avatar

Statistics for Story 94
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  PatPat   11
  legolas returns   93
  Verity Weasley   29
  Potteraholic   65
  Quinn Crockett   10
  Anna L. Black   15
  Dryleaves   10
  Julia H.   5
  azi   68
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions:: 306
Total Words:: 1530
Last Submission Date: #1774, November 3, 2008, 12:38 AM (Potteraholic)
Total Time to Create Story: 4 days, 1 hour, 56 minutes







These post-story comments were collected by Potteraholic, but were not posted in a ‘post-story comments post’ before the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum' site closed on April 15, 2011. So they are being posted now, here on forumotion.

Post-Story Comments for Story #94, Volume IX,
Potty Five Words: "Minerva and Augusta's Defiance of You-Know-Who"


This story was posted on November 3, 2008. Nine writers contributed to the story, which is 1,530 words long. Four of the nine writers posted feedback.

- PatPat, Nov 3, 2008 10:49 pm: Congratulations, legolas for earning starting privileges for the next story!!

Overall this story went very smoothly, I think. We kept to the topic and were able to put together a cohesive and fun story. I think the new 1700 word limit is working out very well. It is forcing us to be concise and clear with our language and not fly off on unnecessary tangents. Well done, everyone!

I have only one comment: We LOVE posting sprees here on Five Words. It's awesome to see people enjoying the game so much that they don't want to leave! I would simply post two caveats:

1) Be careful if you are involved in a posting spree not to get too wrapped up in the speed and pace of posting and forget to watch spelling and grammar.

2) If a posting spree is lasting hours, maybe slow down a little to let others catch up. Sometimes people want to come in and participate but don't have the time or desire to wade through a posting spree of 100+ posts in order to do it. Then they tend to give up, and we don't want that! Just be aware that others may be trying to post, but just can't manage to squeeze into the middle of a long spree.

Anyway, that's all I have! Great job, all! Can't wait to see what legolas is going to come up with for the next tale!

- legolas returns, Nov 4, 2008 9:29 pm: I really enjoyed the last story. I had come up with a fun one of my own that I really fancied having people write hence the flood of posts. I had a massive crick in my neck and could not get comfortable in bed that evening. I won't be doing that again in a hurry unless I really want to start another story.

I want to set the scene first before we start writing. Since the battle of Hogwarts Harry has worked hard to ensure that Snape gets his portrait hung in the Heads office. JKR has said as much as this in chats and interviews. I want to go a little further than this because Harry’s attitude towards Snape changes totally after he finds out the truth (see epilogue). Harry petitions the Ministry of Magic an ensures that Snape gets awarded an Order of Merlin (class to be decided by us) for his bravery and protecting the students in terrible circumstances. Today is the day the portrait is hung in the Heads study. Bring on the delicious dialogue

Story title 95-Snape and Dumbledore finally talk-portrait to portrait.

- Potteraholic, Nov 4, 2008 10:58 pm: Congratulations legolas!

I enjoyed the last story as well. Any story about the adventures that the young Minnie and Auggie find themselves is one I'm predisposed to enjoy. They're a great pair, like Seamus and Dean and their travel stories. We've had 3 Seamus and Dean tales and now we've got 2 Minnie and Auggie ones. I wonder what the two of them will get up to in the future?

legolas, great idea for this story, and for setting the scene. I see a lot of scope for our creativity in the outline you've suggested. I just want to say that the story may or may not proceed quite the way you've laid it out… sometimes that happens here on Five Words; that's part of the fun of this creative writing game! One of the new guidelines added to the header recently is: when starting a story, pick whichever characters you want, but be flexible about what other posters write about your starting idea; so there is little debate or confusion during the writing of the story (this is not a discussion thread).

When I included this item in the guidelines, I took my lead from Finn, the creator of this thread, after reading these 2 comments he wrote nearly a year ago: Finn's comment #1 and Finn's comment #2.

And thanks for the suggestion for a title for story 95… I'll take it under advisement. Story starters get to set the scene at the beginning, but story compilers get to choose the title at the end!

- legolas returns, Nov 4, 2008 11:06 pm: The only reason I gave story a title Potteraholic was so that people would get the idea that the main characters were Snape and Dumbledore.

- Verity Weasley, Nov 4, 2008 11:47 pm: I enjoyed the previous story. I think the new length restriction is working out well. There was some interesting foreshadowing in the story, referring to Riddle as you-know-who and describing him as a snake, and Minnie and Auggie are always fun.







 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 10:04 pm; edited 2 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #95

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:15 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 10, 2008 9:38 am (#2119 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Fieldavatar

Potty Five Words: "Dumbledore and Snape: A Tale from the Afterlife"


Snape's portrait was hung in the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts next to the portrait of the headmaster that preceded him. Albus Dumbledore opened his eyes and said, "How nice to see you here at last! Your hasty exit may have delayed this happy moment a while until Harry ensured you a place here, finally. It's an honor that you have long deserved."

Snape was temporarily dumbfounded. He stared at his mentor in disbelief and sneered. "I can't believe this," he said bitterly. "After everything that happened, I still end up in Potter's debt."

"Now Severus, don't be so bitter. It's over, now, and Harry was only playing his part, the same as you. We have a duty—"

Snape raised his dark eyebrows towards the ceiling and shook his head, "I'm tired. I thought I'd be having a quiet and restful Afterlife."

He sounded so sad that Dumbledore suggested they go out. "Perhaps the painting of the landscape with trees, for a change of scenery, would help you to relax a bit. I find it very soothing."

Snape nodded and silently followed Dumbledore into the bucolic scene. Smiling serenely, Dumbledore sat down comfortably on the grass and said, "There's nothing better than a talk between friends. Is there, my dear Severus?"

"Friends?" This was more than Snape could bear. "You consider me a friend, Albus?" he asked with bitterness. "I felt more like a pawn in your game than a friend! You kept me in the dark, never trusting me with all the facts!"

Dumbledore's expression was inscrutable. He spread his fingers under his chin, tips together. He seemed to be lost in thought, but started speaking softly. "Forgive me, Severus. That was not my intention. I thought it would be safer for you, since Voldemort is such an accomplished Legilimens. I didn't want to risk him finding out that you were my most important ally and you were deliberately acting on my orders."

Snape hesitated. "I knew on whose orders, Professor. But your motives? Ambiguous… though the instructions were clear and my Occlumency skills were the best," he said.

"But I had to think of every possibility, Severus. I did not want to take any unnecessary risks—"

"But I had to know what I was doing!" Snape exclaimed. "You could not think my heart was so hard that I wouldn't want to do what was right."

Before Dumbledore could answer, Phineas Nigellus appeared from behind a tree. "There you are, Dumbledore. I've been searching every portrait in the castle looking for you. Oh!" he smiled. "Professor Snape. I didn't know you were here, finally. I rather missed talking to you, I must say. The company of a Slytherin isn't a common pleasure in this venerable society of commoners and Muggle-borns. It's refreshing beyond measure."

"Yes, Phineas," Dumbledore said quietly, "But what did you need to tell me? I'm sure it will be interesting," finished Dumbledore, leaning back against the trunk of a tree, serenely.

Phineas seemed reluctant to put forward his message, but the look of annoyance on Dumbledore's face made him go on.

"Well, I just thought you should know the most extraordinary piece of news I've heard these past few days." He paused for a second. "In fact it concerns Harry Potter. He dropped by the Headmaster's office and... hang on, another Gryffindor... Longbottom... yes, he was with him." Snape knew the answers he wanted to hear would now have to wait. Of course Potter and Longbottom were more important. They had always been, with good reason, he realized.

He was watching the two wizards carefully. Phineas continued, "Potter came to tell the Headmaster that he and Longbottom were pleased to announce something of greatest importance, not only to Hogwarts, but the wizarding community in general."

Snape said, "What is this immensely important piece of news?"

Phineas smirked and said, "It might interest you to know that it concerns you too, Headmaster Snape."

Snape looked flummoxed. "Me? How does it concern me now I'm dead? I just want to get answers to a few simple little questions so that I can continue my Afterlife in peace and quiet. Is there anything else I can—"

"Phineas, perhaps you should just let us all know what's so important. Sorry, Severus, for interrupting you."

"Headmaster Snape has been posthumously awarded an Order of Merlin." Snape looked stunned. Dumbledore, on the other hand, looked like he'd been expecting the news. He gave a satisfied smile.

"Congratulations, Severus!" he said and put his hand on Snape's shoulder and gave him a friendly, almost fatherly pat. Dumbledore said, "I had hoped that the Ministry would see sense after Harry told them what you have done."

Snape's dark eyes glittered with fury. "Told them?" he spat. "Hadn't everyone heard enough already when he shouted it out in front of hundreds of spectators?"

This was not the reaction Dumbledore had hoped for and he asked, "Severus, what's the matter with you? Why can't you accept the good things and forget about the bad ones? You and Harry worked tirelessly to defeat Voldemort. I think you should talk to him."

"Talk to him?" Snape, asked. "I'd rather not."

"Why?" Dumbledore asked. "I don't think he would refuse the opportunity to speak with you."

There was a moment's silence, broken by Phineas' impatient voice. "A member of Slytherin House has been awarded an Order of Merlin," he said, "and it's high time that the wizarding world acknowledged the contribution of this house to our victory. The Dead Heads are not especially accustomed to seeing one of us honored, smug, foolhardy Gryffindors as most of them are. Hogwarts, too, needs to realize that our House shares both the sacrifice and the glory of everyone involved in the struggle."

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, Severus, it is true what Phineas says. You are a Hogwarts Headmaster and deserve our community's respect. Phineas, could you possibly go and tell the other Headmasters that we need a little time before the festivities can start? We can't have a party without them." Phineas nodded and left.

Snape glared at Dumbledore and asked, "Festivities? What sort of festivities? What are you talking about when I don't want the Order of Merlin in the first place at all!"

"A welcoming party, of course!"

"Didn't you hear me, Headmaster? I don't want the Order—"

"Yes," Dumbledore sighed. "I heard you. Why?"

Snape looked him squarely in the eye and said, "I am dead. When I was alive, my wishes never came true. Now I'd like to think that they would be respected when I stated them so plainly." He slowly turned away from Dumbledore and the castle.

"Severus, don't you think it's time to move on from past wrongs and misunderstandings? Holding on to your grudges isn't such a healthy thing to do. You won't ever enjoy the true benefits of being dead if you continue to dwell on the past. This bitterness must be released. You deserve this—"

"How would you feel if everything you had ever done was hung out like dirty washing for the whole world to see?"

Dumbledore gave a slight chuckle and said, "Rita Skeeter has shared all the gossip on me with the wizarding world. Remember her book? Most of it was lies and innuendo. You had been leading a double life for so long you have forgotten that everyone—"

"Everyone what?" Snape interrupted. "Everyone spends a life trying to atone for the misdeeds that they committed when they were young and stupid?"

Dumbledore said, "You are older and wiser now and eternity is a very long time. Too long to be unhappy. You had a terrible time! You sacrificed more than most. But you have forgotten that you don't need to keep secrets anymore. The truth is nothing to be ashamed of."

In the corridor where the landscape hung, the sound of approaching footsteps could be heard. Three students were running and chattering loudly to each other, Peeves, spying them, started to chase them gleefully. Dumbledore explained, "This cheerful scene wouldn't be happening now if it hadn't been for you." He paused. "It's with good reason you should be proud that you helped achieve that. Perhaps you might even feel happy!"

Snape nodded, begrudgingly. "I'm beginning to see what you mean. I'm not used to being open about my role in changing the wizarding world for the better. I need time to get used to it."

Snape's eyes began to shine brightly. Dumbledore beamed. "Good start, to begin with, at least." The two men exchanged a look of understanding where each did not need Legilimency to read the other's thoughts. Snape forced something approaching a smile on his face. Dumbledore seized his chance and got to his feet. "Let's go, Severus! The Drunk Monks will have some butterbeers waiting for us!"

Together they strolled out of the landscape painting and into the painting of the drunk monks. A symphony of hiccups greeted them and it appeared as if the monks had started the party early. Dumbledore smiled. "Not a bad place to spend eternity, Severus." He indicated a bottle of Elf-made wine that had escaped the attention of the monks.

A few minutes later, after pouring a glass for himself and the latest recipient of the Order of Merlin, he raised his glass, looked earnestly at the Dead Heads who had just arrived and were now looking expectantly at Snape. "To our most esteemed colleague," Dumbledore began, "who has now joined our society as one of its most deserved members, and holder of the Order of Merlin, First Class, for uncompromising bravery and unwavering loyalty in the face of great danger. May he find true friendship and happiness in the long future ahead and may Hogwarts be his real home for ever."

The Headmasters and Headmistresses all raised their glasses in honor of their youngest colleague. Together they chorused, "To Severus!"

Beyond them all, Snape thought he could see in his mind's eye the ethereal figure of the red-haired woman he had always longed to protect but had failed. He nodded to her and thought, I have saved your son. Can you forgive me now?

She smiled and said, "Yes."






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #95 stats and post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:17 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 10, 2008 9:51 am (#2120 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Fieldavatar

Statistics for Story 95
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  legolas returns   62
  azi   7
  Julia H.   83
  Potteraholic   86
  Verity Weasley   51
  Quinn Crockett   2
  PatPat   4
  Anna L. Black   9
  Dryleaves   36
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 340
Total Words: 1700
Last Submission Date: #2117, November 8, 2008, 12:29 PM (legolas returns)
Total Time to Create Story: 3 days, 15 hours, 0 minutes






These post-story comments were collected by Potteraholic, but were not posted in a ‘post-story comments post’ before the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum' site closed on April 15, 2011. So they are being posted now, here on forumotion.

Post-Story Comments for Story 95, Volume IX,
Potty Five Words: "Dumbledore and Snape: A Tale from the Afterlife"


This story was posted on November 10, 2008. Nine writers contributed to the story, which is 1,700 words long. Five of the nine writers posted feedback.

Potteraholic, Nov 10, 2008 9:58 am: The 95th story is up! And it clocks in at exactly 1,700 words! I will forgo post-story comments about the story itself because there are some procedural items I need to address and this post will be long enough as it is!

1) When changing speakers, please include a paragraph break by pressing ENTER/RETURN 2x or by typing this HTML code 2x —> <*br> (no*). Including paragraph breaks doesn't affect compiling all that much, but it think will help to avoid confusion in the future, while we write the story, about who's speaking.

2) Please include apostrophes in contractions. Some common contractions are: don't, can't, isn't, didn't, I'm, I've, there's, we're, they're, etc.

3) When using ending punctuation in dialog, it looks like this: ".. I know." or "... I know?" or "... I know!" (without a speaker following the dialog)
or "... I know," Harry said. (use a comma instead of a period/full stop with a speaker connected to the dialog).

Remembering these last 2 items will help streamline the compiling process. Thanks for your help!

Something else I'd like to mention is a reminder that Five Words is a creative writing game where a group of writers respond and react to each other's ideas in an improvisational manner. While we have all ideas about how stories should progress, we need to refrain from outlining story details in the beginning as it detracts from the creativity of others. For folks who have particular stories they are eager to tell, I suggest the following:

1) Start a new thread in the FFF for your story. If you email Kip, he can give you detailed instructions on how to start your own fanfic thread. In fact, someone posted a question about this recently in the FFF's Questions for the Host thread, followed by Kip's response. Why not take a look?

2) Check the 'Writing Contest' thread, also on the FFF, to see if there's a topic that grabs your fancy. Five Worders Anna L. Black and Swedish Short-Snout have both posted stories there recently. Congrats to both of them!

3) Since folks seem to be interested in telling specific stories about Severus Snape, I encourage you to post these stories over on the Main Forum's ‘Snape Epilogue' thread, since that thread was created for just that purpose; this one was not.

I have mentioned these ideas about trying not to specify a story's plot prior to the writing of this story; please excuse me for not creating links to the various places where I posted these suggestions before. Searching for these posts would take time that I do not have at the moment.

- Dryleaves, Nov 10, 2008 10:23 am: I have not read the last story properly yet so I won't give any comments, but I liked the idea of writing about portraits. As for your advice, PAH, I just want to ask a question for clarification and to avoid later misunderstandings: if someone in the future would like to start a story featuring the character Severus Snape and is completely open to other people's suggestions and ideas and flexible about their own and able to empty their mind of all emotion, would it be OK? I think flexibility is very important as we are many writers here. I think it is OK to give suggestions as long as others are free to ignore them.

- Potteraholic, Nov 10, 2008 10:45 am: Dryleaves, in answer to your questions re: stories about Snape, 1) yes, flexibility is strongly encouraged and 2) I think we need to write about a range of characters in these stories. We have already had 2 stories about Snape in this volume. That seems to be a good number of stories about any one character for any volume, I should think. That includes a 'Seamus and Dean' tale, a 'Minnie and Auggie' adventure, etc. Does that help?

- Dryleaves, Nov 10, 2008 1:53 pm: Maybe something should be said about the previous story. I really liked the idea, then I guess it's next to mission impossible to make Snape happy in 1700 words. I liked the appearance of Phineas Nigellus (I usually do and to tell the truth I was a little sorry when he was sent away.) Maybe the final story was a bit predictable. There are many alternative turns it could have taken, but of course that's the way it always is. Maybe I'll end up writing fan fiction after all...

- Julia H., Nov 10, 2008 3:10 pm: Maybe the final story was a bit predictable. There are many alternative turns it could have taken, but of course that's the way it always is. (Dryleaves)

Now I can't help thinking about those alternative turns:

1) Draco Malfoy stealing Snape's portrait and selling it to the British Museum.

2) Instead of the Order of Merlin, Snape is presented with a portrait of Lily Evans (without any Potters) that he can visit any time from now on because portraits can move freely about within Hogwarts, visiting each other. (Happy Ending.)

3) Snape walks about Hogwarts and discovers a totally forgotten painting of a small cottage hanging near his old office and classroom downstairs and moves in, hoping it will be a safe refuge whenever he is in a mood that he needs one.

- Dryleaves, Nov 10, 2008 3:14 pm: Good brainstorming, Julia! That is exactly what I mean!

- Julia H., Nov 10, 2008 3:25 pm: Thanks, Dryleaves!

But once in an eternity, even Snape can get some praise and appreciation - even if it is boring and he does not know what to do with it.

- Dryleaves, Nov 10, 2008 3:32 pm: Of course he can, but there are several options there too...

- Julia H., Nov 10, 2008 3:41 pm: Well, yes, I suppose... (Perhaps he would prefer the Lily Evans portrait option...)

- Verity Weasley, Nov 10, 2008 8:19 pm: Dryleaves, I think you're right about the last story. Snape is a fantastic character, amazingly complex. But whenever he shows up in a story on Five Words, things tend to get very soppy, very quickly!

- PeskyPixie, Nov 23, 2008 2:20 am: I've just read Dumbledore and Snape: A Tale from the Afterlife. It's really good.






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 10:05 pm; edited 2 times in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #96

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:18 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 21, 2008 3:28 am (#2419 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 PinkFloweravatar

Potty Five Words: "Sprout and Malfoy: Two Peas in a Pod?"


Pomona Sprout waited. Platform 9 ¾ was seething with activity. Wizards and witches were saying goodbye to their children. Pomona's parents were trying to smile, but her mother was failing miserably, as big tears streaked her cheeks. Her father was having as bad a time of it, but was stoically heaving her heavy trunk onto the train.

"My dear daughter, I can't believe you're going to Hogwarts!"

"You can call me Pommie, Father!" Pomona said.

She looked small beside the immense train and her parents wondered how she would be able to hold her own in such a big place like Hogwarts.

The train whistle sounded and Pomona hurried to get on the train in time. Her parents waved to her as the Hogwarts Express slowly started to move and she waved back to them. When she could not see them anymore, she thought it was time to look for a compartment. She looked round timidly, wishing there was somebody familiar around that she could talk to.

She wandered down the corridor, looking for a place where she could read her book. She finally found a spot that she liked. It was near the back, and there were several other nervous looking students there. Maybe they're first-years, too, she thought. She sat 
in the seat nearest the door, and began rummaging through her pockets for her book. After taking out some wilting Flitterbloom leaves, and an old packet of Snapdragon seeds, she pulled out her pocket version of Plants for all Reasons by Violet Thistler.

"I've got a big sister at Hogwarts who's reading that same book!" exclaimed a small blond-haired girl, rising from her seat and plonking herself down next to Pomona. "It's her favorite book," she added, "and she sometimes takes me on nature walks near the village where we live. We look for plants and we pick berries and mushrooms."

Pomona looked at her and smiled. "I'm Pomona Sprout. Pleased to meet you."

"My name is Priscilla. Priscilla Turnip. It's my first time at Hogwarts and I'm ever so excited about it. Have you been there before?"

Pomona shook her head. "No, it's my first year. I wonder which House I'll be sorted into?" Pomona's mother was a Ravenclaw and her father, a Gryffindor, and both were very fond of their respective Houses.

"I hope I'm in the same House as my sister," Priscilla said. "She's in Hufflepuff and they have midnight feasts all the time. I love eating loads of chocolate and jam tarts. If I'm in Hufflepuff, I'll spend more time eating than working, probably!"

Priscilla chuckled and Pomona said, "I don't know what House I want to be in. It doesn't really matter. I just worry about disappointing one of my parents. They were in different Houses, so if I get sorted into either Ravenclaw or Gryffindor, then one of them will be happy, but the other won't." She looked sad.

Priscilla looked sympathetic. "You could be sorted into Hufflepuff!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Then neither of your parents would be offended and we can be friends!"

Pomona brightened when she heard that someone wanted to be her friend. "That would be really cool," Pomona nodded. "I wonder... there's also Slytherin House... But both my parents didn't seem to like it."

One of the boys opposite looked up quickly and said, "Slytherin's the House where all the great wizards of importance and cunning come from. That's the House all my family belonged to. And where I want to be sorted as well." He gave Pomona a long, cold stare. "Your name isn't one I know. Are you a pure-blood?"

Pomona regarded him with increasing distaste. "What difference does that make?" she demanded. And who are you, anyway?"

The boy cast a disdainful eye in return. "You would not ask that if you were a pure-blood. My family is well-known and very distinguished."

"Really?" Pomona said. "I'm sure that's true, but I’ve never seen you before. And anyway, whatever your name is, I don't think you're very nice!"

Pomona glowered at the boy and he glowered back. They were both angry but a cheerful voice made them both stop glaring at each other momentarily.

"Abraxas! Pomona! You two don't want to start quarrelling—"

"Abraxas! That's your name?" Pomona sniggered. "Sounds like a hippogriff or a dragon's name."

"Pomona? Sounds like that greasy stuff people put in their hair..."

"What about my name?" Priscilla chuckled.

"Your name's lovely," Pomona began, but Abraxas interrupted.

"Priscilla? Priscilla's fine, I suppose, but Turnip isn't exactly one of the oldest family names around, is it?"

"In fact it is," teased Priscilla, "We just don't shout it from the rooftops like you do!"

Abraxas looked livid. "Malfoys do no such thing!" he raged.

Priscilla laughed, "Don't get your knickers in a knot. How about a friendly game of Exploding Snap?"

Abraxas looked stunned at first, but then decided that it couldn't hurt. He turned to the boy sitting next to him. "Would you like to play too? It's better with four players, right Alistair?"

The boy shrugged. "I suppose so, but you get very angry if you're not winning, and that'll be more difficult with four players." The boy joined them anyway and Priscilla began laying out the cards.

Alistair Bones secretly hoped that Abraxas wouldn't win. He was really tired of hearing his bragging. A few minutes later the snack trolley witch came by and both boys jumped up. "Perfect timing!" said Alistair gleefully. "I could do with some pumpkin juice and a couple of Cauldron Cakes. I'm famished."

Loaded with goodies, he carefully returned to his seat while Abraxas stayed behind, changing his mind about what to buy. When he finally had enough sweets to feed an army, he turned to the two girls, a genuine smile on his face and asked, "Would you like a Chocolate Frog, Pomona? Priscilla?" He held one out, and Pomona took it, hesitantly.

"Er... thank you. I wonder whose card I got this time? I've been collecting them for three years, never finding a 'Musidora Barkwith'."

Abraxas looked up from his pile of sweets in surprise. "That's what I'm looking for, too!"

"Really?" Pomona asked. She was surprised to find something they had in common.

"My collection has about 500 cards," said Abraxas, "but 'Musidora' is really elusive!"

There was a brief silence while everyone unwrapped their frogs. "Phyllida Spore!" Pomona exclaimed, "The author of One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi!" She looked a bit disappointed. "I already have twelve of those!" she whined. "Besides, what's so special about her?"

"She's a great herbologist, Pomona! You should know that!" said Priscilla.

Pomona nodded half-heartedly. "I suppose she's alright, but I don't need twelve of her, do I?"

"Anyway, who is Musidora Barkwith?" asked Priscilla.

Abraxas and Pomona looked at each other in astonishment. "Who's Musidora Barkwith? Don't you know? The famous witch," Abraxas, began, "who wrote 'Wizarding Suite'."

"There's an exploding tuba in it," added Pomona, "and one time, it caused this huge blast which got it banned."

"Really?" Priscilla said. "I've never heard of her yet but this exploding tuba sounds interesting."

"I've got more frogs, Pomona," Abraxas offered. "When did you start to look for Musidora? My Gran was a great fan of hers and she was there when the whole roof blew off!"

"Wow, really? Did she tell you what it was like?" Pomona asked, excitedly. "I read that a lot of people were temporarily deafened by that performance!"

"Yes, well Gran had mentioned that, but she reckoned a lot of the audience thought it was part of the show."

"Merlin's pants!" exclaimed Pomona suddenly. "Look at this! It's her! It's Musidora! I don't believe it!" She turned to Abraxas, holding the card out to him. "Here," she offered. "You should have it. I'd love to keep it... but... you bought the frogs."

Abraxas couldn't hide his surprise. He stammered, "You're... giving... it... to me? Are you sure?"

Pomona smiled. "Don't you want it?"

"Of course I do, but so do you, and it was in your Chocolate Frog, which I gave you. So go on, take it!"

"No," Pomona said. "Your grandmother was there. It's only right that you take it, and—"

"Oh, for goodness sake!" interrupted Priscilla impatiently, "why don't you just tear it in half?" Pomona and Abraxas stared at her in horror, lost for words.

Alistair added, "Too right! At least then we can get on with our game!" He gave them both a defiant grin, and Pomona and Abraxas exchanged sheepish glances.

"You're right," Pomona smiled. "Thank you. Here, Abraxas. I won't take the card. Your Gran will be so happy to see it."

Abraxas took the card and solemnly shaking Pomona's hand said, "Thank you, Pomona. I’ll be forever in your debt."

He gazed at the card with wonder and Pomona smiled, pleased at his true happiness.






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #96 stats and post-story comments

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:20 pm

These stats were first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 21, 2008 3:28 am (#2420 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 PinkFloweravatar

Statistics for Story 96
ordered by first contribution to the story

User
  # of Submissions  
  Potteraholic   86
  Dryleaves   44
  azi   26
  Verity Weasley   52
  Julia H.   38
  Anna L. Black   22
  Quinn Crockett   15
  mona amon   12
  PatPat   1
The user in red is the rightful starter of the next story. They are welcome to pass on the privilege to the user who posted the second most number of times, who may in turn pass it to the user who posted the third number of times in the story, and so forth.

Total Submissions: 296
Total Words: 1480
Last Submission Date: #2417, November 19, 2008, 1:39 PM (PatPat)
Total Time to Create Story: 9 days, 3 hours, 37 minutes







These post-story comments were collected by Potteraholic, but were not posted in a ‘post-story comments post’ before the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum' site closed on April 15, 2011. So they are being posted now, here on forumotion.

Post-Story Comments for Story #96, Volume IX,
Potty Five Words: "Sprout and Malfoy: Two Peas in a Pod?"


This story was posted on November 21, 2008. Nine writers contributed to the story, which is 1,480 words long. Four of the nine writers posted feedback.

- Potteraholic, Nov 21, 2008 3:29 am: Okay, 2 evenings of parent-teacher conferences are over and story #96 is finally up! I will be passing on story starting privileges to Verity. Looking forward to your first five words, Verity!

There is room on this thread for 3 short stories (#97, #98, and #99), which would enable us to start the 10th Volume of Five Words stories with Story #100!!! So ... in order to mark this occasion in some special way, we're going to try something new here on Five Words: write back-to-back stories connected by a unified theme. After some discussion via email amongst the contributors to Story #96, the last 3 stories of Five Words: Volume IX will be an HRH trilogy. The setting is DH while the trio is on the run and camping, and in each story, one character shares a true story (about anything at all) from their pre-DH/Hogwarts life. Just to clarify: one story will be a Harry tale, another one about Ron, and a third about Hermione. Of course, they do not need to be in that order. Thanks for the suggestion, Julia!

Because we are trying to fit 3 stories in just under 580 posts, these 3 stories will need to have a max. word limit. For this story, the limit will be 185 posts and 925 words.

It would be a great help if folks could remember to post an update of 'posts left' in intervals of 10, which means when a post ends in 1 there will be 175, 165, 155, 145, etc. posts left. Since we will need to do this in the next 2 stories as well, it would be good to get into this habit quickly. Remember, the magic numbers for this story are posts ending in: -31, -41, -51, -61, -71, -81, -91, etc. Thanks!

- Verity Weasley, Nov 21, 2008 3:47 am: Well, the previous story turned out OK in the end. I was a bit worried that it was meandering around without really going anywhere when we were writing it, but it turned out to be quite a sweet story.

I'm excited to be starting the first of our HRH trilogy. Thank you for passing on story-starting honours, PAH.

- Potteraholic, Nov 21, 2008 4:34 am: My pleasure, Verity!

I, too, liked the previous story. I originally thought it would be a story about the two Ps, Pomona and Priscilla, but think it was much more interesting to have Pomona, a future Hufflepuff, have something in common with Abraxas, a future Slytherin. I noticed the story was predominantly dialog. But I'm not mentioning it because I thought there was anything wrong with that; I'm just making an observation.

Edit: Remember, the magic numbers for this story's 'post updates' are posts ending in 1: -31, -41, -51, -61, -71, -81, -91, etc. Thanks!

- Julia H., Nov 21, 2008 6:34 am: Regarding the previous story, I agree with Verity and PAH. It seemed a bit slow for a while but turned out well in the end. Now I'm quite excited about the new stories.

- Dryleaves, Nov 21, 2008 8:22 am: I agree with what you have already said about the previous story. I thought it was a cute one.






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Aug 14, 2011 10:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Archive of Five Words Stories - Volume IX, Story #97

Post  Potteraholic Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:21 pm

This story was first posted by Potteraholic - Nov 29, 2008 8:41 am (#2609 of 2998) on the World Crossing home of the 'Harry Potter Lexicon Forum'.

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 AnnasTreeinPondavatar

Potty Five Words: "Tales of HRH: Hermione Remembers When..."


Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat in the tent listening to the crackling of the fire that Hermione had conjured. None of them spoke. The silence made Ron uneasy and he decided to break it. "This is just creepy. Can't you two stop thinking about those horcruxes?" he said. "How about doing something enjoyable for a change?"

"We're on the run, aren't we?" Harry answered.

Hermione sighed. "Ron, the Death Eaters are killing people at this moment and you want to enjoy yourself? Really! You need to think..."

"Would it hurt anyone if we talked about something else?" Ron asked.

"Would you like a bedtime story, for example?"

"Bedtime story? Why not?" Ron said with a grin. "It's been a long time since I heard one. Please, Hermione, tell me something entertaining about Muggles. They are so funny!"

"They aren't, but I can tell you a story about the time my cousin Lizzy and I were trying to catch some butterflies." Harry looked at Ron and grinned, remembering the time they had been following the spiders in their second year.

"Butterflies are pretty harmless. That should be a nice, soothing bedtime story, shouldn't it?" said Harry, chuckling.

"Yeah, better than spiders!" Ron said.

"Don't be too sure," said Hermione grimly. "It was quite an adventure, actually. Lizzy and I were camping with my parents when she woke me up one morning with a plan to catch a squirrel she had noticed the day before."

"A squirrel?" Ron interrupted, "I thought you said butterflies!"

"Yes, Ron," Hermione continued patiently. "I'm getting to that. Anyway, we went out and were waiting in a field, near a large hedgerow. We sat there quite a while. We were six years old at that time and didn't like to sit still, so when the squirrel turned up, we laid chase immediately. Soon we came to a—"

"What was so special about that squirrel, anyway?" asked Harry.

"Nothing really," Hermione said. "Lizzy liked it. But we never found it."

Harry caught Ron's eye and gave him a conspiratorial look. "Go on, let's hear more about this non-existent squirrel."

They inched towards the fire, and Hermione continued her story, trying to remember where she had stopped. "While we were running, we spotted a flock of butterflies fluttering nearby. Lizzy wanted to catch one. 'Look at all the pretty colors,' she said, and she dove towards them instead! Suddenly, the ground under her feet gave way, and she fell down some sort of old mineshaft. We had wandered quite far from our tent and nobody heard me when I tried to call for help. I didn't hesitate much. As far as I could see there was only one thing to do."

Ron cried, "You Summoned a ladder and climbed down?"

"She was six, Ron," Harry said. "She didn't even know she was a witch. And she had no wand."

"That's right, Harry," Hermione continued a little impatiently. "I simply clambered down after her. It was difficult, because the shaft sloped down rather steeply, but I made it, safe, and sound, and found Lizzy at the bottom. She was crying but was not hurt. We looked around for something we could use to get out, but it was dark and gloomy. Luckily, some broken ladders happened to be lying around. I found them while stumbling around in the dark, wishing I had some light. Suddenly, a flash of light came from nowhere. It was incredible."

"Wait a minute!" Ron interjected. "So, you conjured a light down there in the tunnel? Didn't you think it was... strange?"

"I was too busy worrying about getting us out of there! We tried to use the broken ladders, but they were too dilapidated. I was wishing desperately for some help but no one heard our cries and I thought we'd be stuck there forever. Then I noticed that Lizzy was sitting on something that very much resembled a coil of rope..."

"Didn't Lizzy notice it first?" Ron asked incredulously.

"No. Well, she swears it wasn't a rope when she was sitting on it, but a rock instead."

Harry smiled. "Poor Lizzy! She must've been so confused: rock one minute, rope the next!"

Hermione chuckled, "Yeah. She jumped up and stared at it in astonishment. Anyway, I made a loop at one end, and we managed to hook it over a tree stump after several attempts. Then we started climbing out, which was easy with the rope to hold on to."

"You were really lucky that the rope was there!" Ron exclaimed.

"I don't think it was just lying there. I think Hermione did magic without knowing it," Harry said.

"Yes, Ron, weren't you listening?" Hermione said. "And I think—"

"Don't you remember, she told us about the mysterious light?" Harry interrupted. "And then the rope appeared unexpectedly? That's like when I somehow grew my hair back every time Petunia cut it."

"Yes, Ron," Hermione continued, "It must have been child magic, which I didn't realize at the time. I had no idea I was a witch. We were young and thought... well, that things like this just happened. Children, even Muggle ones, often believe in magic. But I thought it strange that those things happened so close together. When I received my Hogwarts letter, it started to make sense."

Harry nodded and said, "I know what you mean. Lots of things started making sense after I learned I was a wizard."

Ron looked at Hermione and said, "That was quite some story. But did you ever catch those butterflies?"

"No!" Hermione smiled, "They got away. Just like we did."






 * Five Words – Volume 9 Index * 

 * Five Words - Volumes Index * 

 * Five Words - Main Archives * 
 * Five Words - Stories Index (by topic) * 


Last edited by Potteraholic on Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
Potteraholic
Potteraholic
Ravenclaw Prefect
Ravenclaw Prefect

Posts : 4241
Join date : 2011-02-18
Location : USA

Back to top Go down

Archive of Five Words Stories - Page 11 Empty Re: Archive of Five Words Stories

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 11 of 19 Previous  1 ... 7 ... 10, 11, 12 ... 15 ... 19  Next

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum