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Verity Weasley
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Page 31 of 41
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Story #144
Verity Weasley Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:17 pm
me to do.
"Daphne, you
I imagine this is Donna speaking, but it doesn't have to be.
153 posts left
"Daphne, you
I imagine this is Donna speaking, but it doesn't have to be.
153 posts left
Verity Weasley- N.E.W.T.
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Story #144
Potteraholic Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:11 am
and Arnold are welcome to Maybe Daphne and Arnold politely decline the invitation as they have other plans. How lucky would that be?
So first Sluggy's thinking to himself, and then the next thing we know, Donna's talking? I'm wondering why it can't just be Sluggy himself talking next, after he's just thought, Little Felix, my fine fortuitous friend, I know exactly what you want me to do. I would've thought Sluggy would say something next, right?
I keep on hoping I will understand the flow of this story better each time I post... maybe I'll get it just as the story is ending. 
Ahh, glad I asked, then.Julia H. wrote:LOL, PAH, I only meant something like Horace thinking of how 'little Felix' was guiding his steps and telling him what to do again and again or how thankful he was to 'Felix" etc.
I don't think I would have inferred all that from 'Little Felix'. It's the 'little' part that threw me. In any case, on with the story! (The job bit and some part of a delightful day with Donna. 
)152
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story 144
Mona Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:00 am
accompany us to the Cheese
I like 'little felix'. It sounds like a very natural way for Slughorn to refer to the substance that's making him feel so high.
151 posts left
I like 'little felix'.
It sounds like a very natural way for Slughorn to refer to the substance that's making him feel so high.151 posts left
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Story #144
Julia H. Sun Feb 26, 2012 5:12 am
Festival," Belladonna said.
Her sister
I seem to remember that Slughorn uses the phrase "little Felix" in HBP, and that's why I thought of using it here.
150 posts left
Her sister
I seem to remember that Slughorn uses the phrase "little Felix" in HBP, and that's why I thought of using it here.
150 posts left
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story 144
Mona Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:00 am
we, Arnold?" Arnold nodded his -> assent/approval
Don't know if there needs to be a paragraph break after the question mark...
(Edited to change a word)
147 posts left
Don't know if there needs to be a paragraph break after the question mark...
(Edited to change a word)
147 posts left
Last edited by Mona on Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:53 am; edited 1 time in total
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Story #144
Potteraholic Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:07 am
We have a leap year this year... how lucky! I wonder how far we will have progressed in this story by the 29th? I hope we'll be up to the 'delightful day with Donna' part by then.
NON-POST
No idea, as I was thinking the story was going another way. On to the next poster!
EDIT: So as to put this post to some use, I thought I'd post the last 52 posts/260 words of the story to give us a sense of what 147 posts/735 words left looks like, which would be almost exactly 3 times the following amount:
- Spoiler:
- "Oh ... that's lucky!" Horace remarked, as Daphne glanced fondly at Arnold, "I hear," he continued, addressing his comment to Arnold, "that you're leaving Hogwarts for greener pastures."
"That's right," Arnold replied. "I'm going to France to teach at Beauxbatons — they made me an offer I couldn't refuse."
"Best of luck to you!" Horace beamed, gazing around.
Daphne was looking at Belladonna with a sheepish expression and shrugged. Belladonna raised her eyebrows, but didn't seem bothered in the least.
Horace felt relieved. He smiled at Belladonna and said, "We'll have to find something else to do together today after all. Perhaps you would like to accompany me to the Taunton Cheese Festival? I have an entry in their newest category, introduced just this year — cheese-based cosmetics!"
"That sounds really interesting," said Belladonna enthusiastically. "What sort of cosmetic is it?"
"Well," Horace replied with a wink, "let's just say, that while cheese is one of the ingredients, it's not the only one. My skin is sensitive to certain magical substances. My cream soothes it wonderfully."
"Professor Dippet would surely be interested in something like that," Arnold put in. "He's allergic to owl feathers, and he's currently looking for an effective treatment for his rash."
"I see," said Horace, stroking his moustache thoughtfully. Little Felix, my fine fortuitous friend, I know exactly what you want me to do.
"Daphne, you and Arnold are welcome to accompany us to the Cheese Festival," Belladonna said.
Her sister considered for a moment, then said, "we'd love to, wouldn't you, Arnold?" Arnold nodded his...
So if the remaining story is broken up into thirds, what would each 1/3 consist of in terms of plot?
• 1st 1/3 - ?
• 2nd 1/3 - ?
• last 1/3 - ?
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Story #144
Verity Weasley Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:22 am
assent. "I need to stay
Mona, do you think you could change the 'you' in your post to 'we'? It sounds better to me. "We'd love to, wouldn't we Arnold?" rather than, "We'd love to, wouldn't you Arnold?"
PAH, I've posted a couple of times with a general plot outline for the rest of the story, and we still seem to be on track with that so far.
146 posts left
- Spoiler:
- out of Professor Dippet's way...
Mona, do you think you could change the 'you' in your post to 'we'? It sounds better to me. "We'd love to, wouldn't we Arnold?" rather than, "We'd love to, wouldn't you Arnold?"
PAH, I've posted a couple of times with a general plot outline for the rest of the story, and we still seem to be on track with that so far.
146 posts left
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Story #144
Potteraholic Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:34 am
out of Professor Dippet's way I've scrolled through 50+ posts now to update the compiled version of the story... I'm not going back there, LOL! So keep posting those spoiler boxes with the next five words, folks, and I'll be able to help keep this story moving along, even if I don't understand the progression of the timeline and the inclusion of certain plot ideas.
Okay, so now Daphne and Arnold are tagging along on this date, Arnold still has to mention the job to Sluggy, and we still have to have enough posts left to describe this delightful outing with Donna, since I thought that would be a sizable part of this story. Maybe, Donna and Arnold get called away at the last minute, by some stroke of luck, leaving Sluggy and Donna on their own? I guess if I really want to know if Sluggy and Donna are meant to be going to Hogwarts to meet Headmaster Dippet about the job, I should go look for the outline. So I'll just wait and see what happens instead.
And I agree about 'we' vs. 'you' but thought it best to keep it to myself after the whole 'shrugging' vs. 'shrugged' discussion.
145
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Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:09 am; edited 1 time in total
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story 144
Mona Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:01 am
for a while. He's not
144 posts left
- Spoiler:
- very happy with me right now...or something like that
Done, Verity!Mona, do you think you could change the 'you' in your post to 'we'? It sounds better to me.
144 posts left
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story 144
Mona Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:23 am
."
"Why not?" Slughorn asked with
142 posts left
"Why not?" Slughorn asked with
- Spoiler:
- interest?
142 posts left
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Story #144
Potteraholic Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:29 am
interest. "Oh, wait, it's because ... you're leaving...141
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story 144
Mona Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:23 pm
you're leaving!"
"Well, it's more
140 posts left
"Well, it's more
- Spoiler:
- because I'm leaving without proper notice...
140 posts left
Mona- Hufflepuff Prefect
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Story #144
Potteraholic Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:12 pm
because I'm leaving soon, without I wrote 'soon' because in the beginning of the story, it's written:
Lately, Horace had been feeling somewhat disheartened as his efforts to prove to Headmaster Dippet that he was the right person for the newly vacant position of Hogwarts Potions master had failed to have the desired effect. Dippet obviously liked him...
I had some time before lunch, so thought I'd get a head start on formatting the story for when it's time to post it. If you want to see what we've written so far, check this post.
Also, wouldn't it be lucky for Sluggy if Headmaster Dippet walked into the Three Broomsticks now? It would mean that Arnold and Daphne would have to make a hasty exit, so that gets them out of the picture, and then maybe Sluggy has the chance to impress Dippet with his cheese-infused skin cream since Dippet's got a bad rash from the owl feathers now? Didn't
meet Sybill Trelawney in the Hog's Head for her interview, the night of the prediction? I know that was a planned meeting, but I dunno, I think an impromptu meeting in the Three Broomsticks between Sluggy and Dippet would be a lucky occurrence, and would be quite fitting to our story about Felix Felicis. It would get the "Sluggy's getting the Potions job bit" of the story in quickly, get Daphne and Arnold out of the picture, and then on to the delightful day with Donna! Yes, quite a bit of luck involved to have Dippet just walk in, but perhaps Sluggy brewed up quite a potent batch of Felix! remaining posts of the story (139), in 1/3s:
• first 1/3 (approx. 46 posts)
- Sluggy and the job bit (Dippet enters the Three Broomsticks, luckily for Sluggy)
- Daphne and Arnold exit the story
• second and final 1/3s (approx. 93 posts)
- the start of Sluggy's delightful day with Donna
- the end of Sluggy's delightful day with Donna
Of course, this is just an idea. Just thought I'd throw it out there; don't know how it matches the outline.
139
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story 144
Mona Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:11 pm
proper notice," Arnold began, but
I guess Daphne hushes him or something since she's seen Dippet walking in or something.
PAH, I like your ideas for the story!
138 posts left
I guess Daphne hushes him or something since she's seen Dippet walking in or something.
PAH, I like your ideas for the story!
138 posts left
Last edited by Mona on Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Story #144
Julia H. Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:27 pm
he fell silent suddenly, as
Actually I thought the information that Prof. Dippet needed someone who was an expert at anti-allergy medications would give Sluggy the great idea that he could use to win the vacant Potions Master's position. That's why I thought he would be thankful to 'little Felix' as soon as he heard about Dippet's allergy problem. How convenient it would be for the Headmaster to have a Potions Master who could regularly prepare what he needed for his allergy! Building on this type of connection seems to me very typical of Sluggy. In that case he needs no further job winning tips from Arnold.
So, yes, the Potions Master's position has already been vacant and Sluggy has applied for it, so Arnold must have handed in his resignation some time ago - unless he is the new Potions Master who has just got the job (as Sluggy has been refused) and he has already changed his mind (which would give Dippet further reason to be angry with him).
It may also be interesting that Dippet (allegedly) found Sluggy too young for the job, but Arnold is young as well (though he may be older than Sluggy).
137 posts left
Actually I thought the information that Prof. Dippet needed someone who was an expert at anti-allergy medications would give Sluggy the great idea that he could use to win the vacant Potions Master's position. That's why I thought he would be thankful to 'little Felix' as soon as he heard about Dippet's allergy problem. How convenient it would be for the Headmaster to have a Potions Master who could regularly prepare what he needed for his allergy! Building on this type of connection seems to me very typical of Sluggy. In that case he needs no further job winning tips from Arnold.
So, yes, the Potions Master's position has already been vacant and Sluggy has applied for it, so Arnold must have handed in his resignation some time ago - unless he is the new Potions Master who has just got the job (as Sluggy has been refused) and he has already changed his mind (which would give Dippet further reason to be angry with him).
It may also be interesting that Dippet (allegedly) found Sluggy too young for the job, but Arnold is young as well (though he may be older than Sluggy).
137 posts left
Last edited by Julia H. on Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:38 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Story #144
Potteraholic Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:37 pm
none other than Headmaster Dippet himself Thanks, Mona
Let's see how they play out.I'll need to read your comments again, Julia, as I'm a bit
by them now, and have to log off! But I will say, when do we actually get to this delightful day with Donna? It hasn't been awful, or anything, but it doesn't seem all that delightful yet, either. But that's just my take on it. I may be hard to impress. Also, Mona, I saw your list in the alphabet game. Nice job! One suggestion: maybe post it in the header post for easier access? You can do that as you have moderator status. It will also help you to find this list quickly and add to it as the game progresses. Just a suggestion, of course.
136
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Last edited by Potteraholic on Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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story 144
Mona Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:54 pm
walked in. Daphne and Arnold
Hmm...Arnold hands in resignation, Dippet advertises, Sluggy applies and Dippet isn't keen. Now Arnold discovers that he has to join Beauxbatons much sooner than he thought so cuts short his notice, and Dippet will be more inclined to hire Sluggy now, since he's in urgent need of a potions master. Of course his Miracle Anti-allergy Cheese Cream will be what really impresses Dippet. I wonder if that ties up the loose ends?
Thanks, PAH! I think I'll follow your sugggestion, but tomorrow. Now I'm off to bed
135 posts left
Hmm...Arnold hands in resignation, Dippet advertises, Sluggy applies and Dippet isn't keen. Now Arnold discovers that he has to join Beauxbatons much sooner than he thought so cuts short his notice, and Dippet will be more inclined to hire Sluggy now, since he's in urgent need of a potions master. Of course his Miracle Anti-allergy Cheese Cream will be what really impresses Dippet. I wonder if that ties up the loose ends?
Thanks, PAH! I think I'll follow your sugggestion, but tomorrow. Now I'm off to bed
135 posts left
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Story #144
Julia H. Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:16 pm
exchanged a meaningful glance and
Mona, I really like your summary! That's more or less what I was thinking of as well. PAH, don't worry about my comments, just read Mona's.
If we want to get to the really delightful part of the day as soon as possible, we may not need to write out the full conversation between Dippet and Sluggy - we might perhaps just summarise how quickly Felix and Slughorn's allergy expertise did the trick so that Donna and Sluggy could leave rapidly. Then the only question is whether it's really the Cheese Festival that they are heading to.
134 posts left
Mona, I really like your summary! That's more or less what I was thinking of as well. PAH, don't worry about my comments, just read Mona's.
If we want to get to the really delightful part of the day as soon as possible, we may not need to write out the full conversation between Dippet and Sluggy - we might perhaps just summarise how quickly Felix and Slughorn's allergy expertise did the trick so that Donna and Sluggy could leave rapidly. Then the only question is whether it's really the Cheese Festival that they are heading to.
134 posts left
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Story #144
Verity Weasley Sun Feb 26, 2012 7:42 pm
quickly left the table, slipping
Great progress on the story, guys!
133 posts left
Great progress on the story, guys!
133 posts left
Verity Weasley- N.E.W.T.
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Story #144
Potteraholic Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:53 pm
past the Headmaster, completely unnoticed. I just decided to make my own outline, in the end.
I found a way to change 'was looking' (from before) to 'looked'! I am going to add 'himself' to: 'none other than Headmaster Dippet {himself} walked in. Mischief managed!
I'm sure the people who read our story, besides the four of us, won't wonder too much about the particulars of when the Potions Master position became vacant, when Sluggy applied for it, when he was first refused, when Arnold started and then gave his notice, etc., so there really aren't any loose ends that need tying when it comes to that plotline, in my mind. And even if we explain it all in the notes, those don't make it into the story. Not that I'm saying they need to, because I don't think they do. I think it's enough for the reader to understand that Sluggy wants the job of Potions Master at Hogwarts, tried for it once, didn't get it, and now has a chance to try for it again, and probably get it!
I think that point comes out in our story and we don't need to worry too much about the timeline of the resignation/vacancy/initial refusal, etc. The fun day with Belladonna will be the more fun part of the story, if I'm not mistaken. And if we could try to be in that section by the 100 posts left mark, we'd have ample opportunity to write a nice bit of story there. Should be fun! 132
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Story #144
Verity Weasley Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:24 am
and approached Professor Dippet, his
130 posts left
- Spoiler:
- hand outstretched ...
130 posts left
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